Aggressive hyperactive irritable child. What to do? Psychologist's advice

Manifestation of aggression in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and methods of its correction.

Manifestationchild aggression is one of the most common forms of behavior disorder that parents, teachers and psychologists have to deal with.

Exercises that require a lot of physical activity are not always suitable for children with hyperactivity, especially when we work in a group, for example, there is a wonderful exercise "Clowns" in which children turn into clowns who swear at each other with vegetables and fruits or pieces of furniture and much more. Children with ADHD will find it difficult to complete this task; they may get carried away and offend their partner for real. As an alternative, I use the projective exercise "Draw the offender", it can be used both frontally and individually. The bottom line is that the child draws on paper someone who has ever offended him with something, and then draw on him some funny details (horns, piglet, tail, mustache, etc., etc.). ), it is quite exciting for children of primary school age, and therefore even children with hyperactivity do it with pleasure and are little distracted (as experience shows, it is interesting for older children and even adults, even if they relate to it with humor, but on a feeling of relief and satisfaction comes on an unconscious level).

But a child with ADHD cannot sit for a long time and, over time, is even fascinating, but sedentary activity bothers him and he begins to be distracted. To stir up the child, you can use the exercise with balloons, I have used this so far only individually with hyperactive children, but I think this exercise can be performed in a group with other children. This exercise is probably familiar to many, for one child I take 3 balls, first we choose a negative emotion that the child often experiences (if difficulties arise, then we choose an emotion that he experienced at least once in his life), then the child inflates the ball, as if filling the ball with his negative emotion and thereby freeing ourselves from it, write the name of the emotion on the ball. Then we discuss the child's feelings: “what does it feel to get rid of the emotion; has it become easier, etc. " after discussion, so that this emotion cannot harm anyone and does not return to the carrier again, the child bursts the ball and the emotion dissolves in the air (you can invite the child to try to burst the ball himself, but I usually give a pen or pencil). This procedure is repeated two more times with different emotions. This exercise has a positive effect on children, it is fun for them to pop the ball and at the same time, they realize how easy it is to get rid of negativity without harming anyone.

“Imagine that you are standing in a clearing. Above you is the dark night sky, all strewn with stars. They shine so brightly that they seem very close. The glade is flooded with soft, pale blue light. People say that when a star falls, you need to make a wish, and it will definitely come true. They also say that the star cannot be reached. But maybe they just haven't tried it? Find the brightest star in the sky with your mind's eye. What dream does it remind you of? Imagine well what you would like. Now open your eyes, take a deep breath, hold your breath and try to reach the star. It's not easy: stretch with all your strength, strain your arms, stand on your toes. So, a little more, you almost got it. There is! Hooray! Exhale and relax, your happiness is in your hands! Put your star in front of you in a pretty basket. Rejoice looking at her. You've done something very important. Now you can rest a little. Sit down. Close your eyes. Look at the sky again in your mind. Are there more stars out there to remind you of your other cherished dreams? If there is, then take a close look at the chosen luminary. Now open your eyes, breathe in and reach for your new goal! Now put your hands down, relax and never stop reaching for your goal. "

After the end, we carry out reflection, we select the version of reflection by age. We can just discuss this with you adults. With children of primary school age, I usually ask you to complete the phrase “I liked it the most ..” or “I feel now…” etc.

Tips for parents of a hyperactive child

How to tell if a child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or is he just active? Let's differentiate between these concepts.

Active child:

- Most of the day he "does not sit still", prefers outdoor games to passive ones (puzzles, constructors), but if he is interested, he can read a book with his mother and put together the same puzzle.
- He speaks quickly and a lot, asks an infinite number of questions.
- For him, sleep and digestion disorders (intestinal disorders) are rather an exception.
- He is not active everywhere. For example, restless and restless at home, but calm - in the garden, visiting unfamiliar people.
- He's not aggressive. That is, by chance or in the heat of a conflict, it can kick a "sandbox colleague", but he himself rarely provokes a scandal.

Hyperactive child:
- He is in constant motion and simply cannot control himself, that is, even if he is tired, he continues to move, and when he is completely exhausted, he cries and hysteria.
- He speaks quickly and a lot, swallows words, interrupts, does not listen to the end. Asks a million questions, but rarely gets answers to them.
- It is impossible to put him to sleep, and if he sleeps, then in fits and starts, restlessly. He often has intestinal disorders. For hyperactive children, all kinds of allergies are not uncommon.
- The child is uncontrollable, while he absolutely does not react to prohibitions and restrictions. And in any conditions (house, store, kindergarten, playground) behaves equally actively.
- Often provokes conflicts. Doesn't control his aggression - fights, bites, pushes, and uses improvised means: sticks, stones ...

The main causes of hyperactivity

Often hyperactivity is a consequence of not too smooth birth and disorders in infancy. The risk group includes babies born as a result of cesarean section, severe pathological childbirth, artificial babies born with low weight, premature babies. Considering that the ecology and pace of modern life now leave much to be desired, it is not surprising why hyperactive children are not uncommon, but rather the norm in our life today. And it is worth making a reservation: not all children at risk are necessarily hyperactive! And later, if all the "misunderstandings" (anxiety, hysteria, colic, sleep disturbances) did not disappear before the baby's first birthday, then it is not too late to bring them back to normal after.

What needs to be done so that the baby gets rid of the "excess" of activity?

1. Create certain living conditions for him.

This includes a calm psychological environment in the family, a clear daily routine (with mandatory walks in the fresh air, where there is an opportunity to frolic). Parents will have to work hard. If you yourself are very emotional and unbalanced, you are constantly late everywhere, in a hurry, then it's time to start working on yourself. We no longer rush headlong into the garden, constantly rushing the child, we try to be less nervous and less often to change plans "along the way." Tell yourself, "A clear daily routine," and try to be more organized yourself.

2. Use these tips:

The kid is not to blame that he is such a "lively", therefore it is useless to scold him, punish him, arrange humiliating silent boycotts. By doing this, you will achieve only one thing - a decrease in his self-esteem, a feeling of guilt that he is "wrong" and cannot please mom and dad.

Teaching your child to manage themselves is your first priority. "Aggressive" games will help him to control his emotions. Everyone, including your child, has negative emotions, only a taboo, tell him: "If you want to hit, hit, but not at living things (people, plants, animals)." You can hit the ground with a stick, throw stones where there are no people, kick something with your feet. He just needs to throw energy out, teach him how to do it.

In upbringing, it is necessary to avoid two extremes - the manifestation of excessive softness and the presentation of increased demands on him. Permissiveness should not be allowed: the rules of behavior in various situations should be clearly explained to children. However, the number of prohibitions and restrictions should be kept to a reasonable minimum.

The child needs to be praised in every case when he managed to bring the work started to the end. Using the example of relatively simple things, you need to teach how to properly distribute forces.

It is necessary to protect children from fatigue associated with an excessive amount of impressions (TV, computer), to avoid places with an increased number of people.
- In some cases, excessive activity and excitability may be the result of parents making too high demands on the child, which he simply cannot meet in his natural abilities, as well as excessive fatigue. In this case, parents should be less demanding, try to reduce the load.

- "Movement is life", lack of physical activity can cause increased excitability. You cannot restrain the child's natural need to play noisy games, frolic, run, jump.

Sometimes behavioral disorders can be a child's reaction to mental trauma, for example, to a crisis in the family, parental divorce, bad attitude towards him, placing him in an inappropriate school class, conflict with a teacher or parents.

When considering a child's diet, give preference to proper nutrition, in which there will be no lack of vitamins and minerals. An overactive baby, more than other children, needs to adhere to the golden mean in nutrition: less fried, spicy, salty, smoked, more boiled, stewed and fresh vegetables and fruits. Another rule: if the child does not want to eat - do not force him!

Prepare your fidget with a "field for maneuvers": active sports for him are just a panacea.

Teach your toddler to play passively. We read, and also draw, sculpt. Even if it is difficult for your child to sit still, he is often distracted, follow him ("You are interested in this, let's see ..."), but after satisfying the interest, try to return with the baby to the previous lesson and bring it to the end.

Teach your toddler to relax. Perhaps your "recipe" for finding inner harmony with him is yoga. For some, other relaxation methods are more suitable. A good psychologist will tell you what it can be: art therapy, fairy tale therapy, or maybe meditation.

And don't forget to tell your child how much you love him.

Preview:

Childhood aggression

What is aggression?

Aggression Is physical or verbal (verbal) behavior aimed at causing harm to someone.

How is aggressiveness manifested in children?

• Anger and indignation in the desperate cry of the baby, the reason for which is simple: the physiological needs of the child are not satisfied. The aggressive reaction in this case is the reaction of the struggle for survival.
• An outburst of rage and physical attack on a peer, conflicts over the possession of toys in a child of 1.2-5 years old. If parents at this age are intolerant of his behavior, then as a result, symbolic forms of aggression may form: whining, disobedience, stubbornness, etc.
• Screaming, crying, biting, stamping feet in a 3-year-old child, which are associated with the limitation of his "research instinct", with the conflict between insatiable curiosity and parental "no".
• Pugnacity in a boy, crying, squealing in girls of preschool age. Boys at this age show more aggressive tendencies than girls, since the latter are afraid of their manifestation due to fear of punishment. At the same time, the environment treats boys' aggression more favorably and tolerantly.
• In primary school age, the most frequent acts of physical attack in boys and more "socialized" forms of aggression in girls: insult, teasing, rivalry.
• In adolescents - boys, physical aggression (attacks, fights) continues to dominate, and in girls - negativism and verbal aggression (gossip, criticism, threats, swearing).

Is it always bad?

Not always. Aggressiveness has its own positive, healthy traits that are essential for life.

This is perseverance, perseverance in achieving goals, striving for victory, overcoming obstacles. Therefore, educational measures should not be aimed at completely eliminating aggressiveness from the character of children, but at limiting and controlling its negative features, and encouraging its positive manifestations..

The reasons for childish aggression.

Aggression can occur in the following cases:

• as a reaction to frustration. This is an attempt to overcome the obstacle on the way to meeting needs, achieving emotional balance.
• as a last resort when the child has exhausted all other possibilities for satisfying his needs.
• As a "learned" behavior, when the child acts aggressively, following the pattern (behavior of parents, literary, film and TV characters).

Also, the manifestation of aggressiveness is influenced by biological factors (features of the nervous system, heredity, biochemical factors).

When do you need specialist help?

Two types of child aggressiveness require special intervention:

First - when a child over five years old enjoys torturing other children and animals. This type is rare, but always requires special treatment from a neuropsychiatrist.

Second - a hyperactive child. Such a child is restless, aggressive, touches everything and everyone, a "train" of destruction and resentment follows him. The behavior of such a child is characterized by impulsiveness, thoughtless actions, violation of prohibitions. Such a child may be loving, generous, sweet at heart, but a biochemical imbalance in the cerebral cortex makes his behavior overactive. Such an impulsive child is a matter of concern for the doctor, who can prescribe the necessary medications.

Aggression prevention

The best way to avoid being overly aggressive in a child is to show love for him. There is no toddler who feels loved and aggressive.

• Parents should try to understand the causes of their child's aggressive behavior and address them.
• Give your child the opportunity to release their energy. Let him frolic alone or with a friend. Don't let an overreactive child sit around. Let his energy be spent for "peaceful" purposes: sports, scientific circles, "craftsmen", etc.
• Avoid watching movies and TV programs with scenes of violence and cruelty.
• Help your child find friends, teach him to communicate with peers. In joint activities, children will quickly learn the norms of generally accepted behavior.
• Don't use physical punishment.
• Show your child a personal example of effective, benevolent behavior. Do not allow outbursts of anger and rage with him, insults to your colleagues, development of plans, revenge ,.

Treatment of aggressiveness

For the treatment of aggressiveness, approximately the same methods are suitable as for prevention. For a child of this type, only one kind word can remove his anger. Do not consider such a child spoiled. If you start to think that way, you may experience feelings of alienation, rejection of the child. He will definitely feel this, and the feeling of loneliness among those closest to him can lead to the fact that the child will become very difficult.

The child himself suffers the most from aggressiveness: he is in a quarrel with his parents, he loses friends, he lives in constant irritation, and often fear. All this makes the child unhappy. Care and warmth for such a child is the best medicine. Let him at every moment feel that his parents love, appreciate and accept him. Let the child see that he is needed and important to you.

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Causes of aggressive behavior

A variety of factors can cause a child to exhibit "difficult" behavior, become unusually aggressive or even domineering. Some people are calm and peaceful by nature, others are very mobile, impulsive or too hot-tempered and ready to show aggression. One of the factors on which both physical ability and personality traits depend is definitely heredity.

Examination of many people with a predisposition to aggressive and impulsive behavior can reveal changes in the production of neurotransmitters - signaling substances - in the brain. So, a genetically determined change in the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain can lead to increased aggressiveness, and dopamine - to increased impulsivity. Aggressive men often show changes in the level of, for example, male sex hormones. Through research, it was found that changes in the production of the "stress hormone" cortisol in children and adults led to a violation of social behavior.

Children who behave aggressively in the first years of life are prone to maintaining such behavioral characteristics until puberty and are so-called antisocial personalities with a predisposition to the use of physical violence and manifestations of criminal behavior. These "difficult" children are often unable to show sympathy, to be sensitive to other people, but on the contrary, behave extremely unceremoniously. By their behavior and the way they express their emotions, they have a negative impact on others, while the passion for causing this kind of harm can be hereditary. In most cases, the cause of the problem of asocial behavior of many adolescents, who also have negative character traits during puberty, lies in the living conditions of the family, which have a negative impact on personality development.

For children with a pronounced feeling of anxiety, a predisposition to impulsivity, inability to concentrate due to attention deficit, hyperactivity, or the presence of antidiuretic hormone in the body, it is common to use aggressive patterns of behavior in everyday life, especially when they suffer from impaired control impulse.

Impulse control impairment is expressed in the fact that children are unable to think about their sudden ideas or desires - they immediately begin to act, translating them into reality and not thinking about the possible consequences. As a rule, they cannot wait and they fail to control their anger, and hence their irascibility and tendency to temper tantrums accompanied by violence.

Impulse control disorders, however, can occur in the absence of antidiuretic hormone in the body. The reasons for the production of antidiuretic hormone in the child's body can be heredity, harm to the child during intrauterine development, for example, if the expectant mother smokes, takes drugs or abuses alcohol during pregnancy, as well as complications during childbirth, such as hypoxia (oxygen starvation) or premature birth ... Improper upbringing can also be one of the factors causing the production of antidiuretic hormone in the body, especially if the parents themselves suffer from a violation of social behavior. This factor can only exacerbate the symptoms of impaired social behavior in the child. Aggressive behavior is demonstrated by about three quarters of hyperactive children.

Many children who have an antidiuretic hormone have a so-called impaired perception. These children find it difficult to comprehend and assimilate what they see or heard. Often, children come to see children's doctors, for example, with a low pain threshold or who do not feel their own body very well and, as a result, are awkward and rude in relations with other children. These children draw attention to themselves with their physically aggressive behavior throughout the entire developmental period. Observing them, you can see their frustration with the fact that they are not doing much, and they themselves do not understand that their rudeness can hurt other children.

The disorder may also be unrelated to the production of antidiuretic hormone in the body, and its causes are usually the same as in the case of impaired impulse control. In addition, in many children in whom the antidiuretic hormone is not found, the so-called impaired partial perception occurs. It affects primarily the educational process and can lead to dyslexia (impaired reading and writing) or acalculia (impaired counting), as well as cause frustration and disgust at school and the educational process in general.

Hyperactive children with attention deficit and concentration problems often become unrecognized in the family or school, and frustration in everyday life can provoke aggressive behavior in them. That is why communication with such children requires great patience from adults.

A low level of intelligence is a serious obstacle to the normal development of the personality and can be the reason for the aggressive behavior of the child. Aggressive behavior with the use of violence is observed in children with underdeveloped intelligence, primarily outside of school, among children and adolescents with poor academic performance. Children with intellectual disabilities tend to have reduced judgment. Teenagers prone to aggressive behavior often act suddenly and at the same time, at the moment of aggression, they do not think about the consequences of their actions, about possible punishment. These children are unaware of both the short-term and long-term consequences of their actions (pain of their victims, social sanctions, etc.). Aggressive children and adolescents often mistakenly view other people's actions and opinions as hostile, when in fact they are not.

Aggressive behavior with elements of violence can be provoked not only by a violation of the perception of one's own body, a reduced ability to learn, or a predisposition to hyperactivity or impulsivity. Violation of the development of speech also provokes aggressive behavior. A person gets upset when he cannot correctly formulate and state his thought, or when it is difficult to understand him due to speech defects. This is very clearly seen in the example of healthy young children, when they start to fight or take something away, shouting and resisting, because they still do not speak very well and cannot say what they want. Therefore, impaired development of speech is a very serious problem and, probably, can underlie the impairment of hearing abilities or auditory sensations and provoke the development of deviations from the norms of behavior.

The genetic and physical abilities of a person are greatly influenced by the so-called psychosocial factors, which can become an impetus for the development of a propensity for aggressive and problematic actions. These factors act on the mechanisms of personality development, which are presented in the theories discussed above. But it should be noted that neither prevention nor proper treatment of children can change the physiology of a person.

At the initial stage of "difficult" behavior and in the event of violations of social behavior, personality predisposition and stress factors in everyday life (psychosocial risk factors) are closely interconnected, which are very important to recognize and eradicate in a timely manner. Since it is almost impossible to change the process of transforming the “difficult” behavior of a four-year-old child into the disturbed social behavior of an eleven-year-old child, helping families in the early stages of children's personality development plays a huge role, and it is better to prepare for raising a child during pregnancy or at least in the first months of a baby's life. ... To our great regret, only 10% of families realize the real need to receive psychological help, and yet they do not receive it or they receive it too late.

As we have already found out, lack of parental love and attention also causes child aggression. But the child needs very little from you. For example, play together or watch Uzbek films 2012 with the participation of schoolchildren, or just hear a nice word addressed to you. Watching family movies together can be a bridge in your communication.

Hyperactivity is a special state of the central nervous system in which there is a clear predominance of excitation processes over inhibition processes. The central nervous system simply cannot cope with a significant increase in mental and physical stress, as a result of which the child experiences certain difficulties associated with the perception of the world around him, interaction with peers and adults. This form of behavior disorder is most clearly manifested in children who have reached primary school age (7 years and older). This is due to the beginning of a new learning activity for them.

The main signs that indicate the presence of hyperactivity in a child are:
● inconsistency;
● fussiness;
● anxiety;
● restlessness;
● excessive emotional activity and instability;
● increased motor activity;
● impulsivity and outbursts of uncontrollable aggression;
● non-observance of norms and rules of conduct.

It is naive to believe that over time, the symptoms characteristic of children's hyperactivity will "pass" and will cease to bother both others and the child himself. On the contrary, without timely professional assistance, the situation will only worsen, and one of the most pronounced complications will be aggression towards peers and close environment, expressed in verbal form or in the form of physical impact. Also, aggression can be hidden if parents suppress it with the wrong methods of education. Backed up by mistakes in upbringing, it often turns into aggressiveness as a character trait.

There are psychological and neurological causes of hyperactivity and attacks of aggression in a child of 7 years of age and older.

Psychological reasons:
● emotional incontinence of parents (quarrels, conflicts between father and mother, aggressive behavior not only at home, but also in society);
● the indifferent attitude of parents to the affairs and interests of the child;
● child abuse;
● high demands that are not age-appropriate and high moral responsibility (as a result, the child is afraid not to justify the expectations placed on him);
● the presence of bad habits in one or both parents (alcoholism, drug addiction in the family);
● strong emotional attachment to one of the parents;
● loss of a loved one;
● excessive guardianship and control and, conversely, permissiveness, absence of prohibitions;
● inconsistency, lack of unity in education, etc.

Neurological causes:
● organic brain damage during pregnancy or as a result of birth trauma;
● functional underdevelopment;
● injuries of the cervical spine;
● hereditary predisposition, genetic diseases;
● infectious diseases;
● transferred stress;
● exposure to certain medications, etc.

How to help a 7-year-old child overcome hyperactivity and bouts of aggression?

Providing assistance to such children should be comprehensive and combine various methods of neuropsychological and psychological-pedagogical correction.

Often, parents do not understand the nature of the behavior of their hyperactive children. They begin to be annoyed by the child's constant problems with academic performance and discipline. If the parents asked for psychological counseling about the child's hyperactivity, then he must be prepared for the fact that the specialist will to a large extent work not with the hyperactivity itself, but with its psychological causes. The psychologist will help establish the reasons for the child's hyperactivity and aggressive behavior, identify and neutralize the marital conflict, determine the optimal parenting style for the child, and give a number of useful recommendations that will help correct his behavior.

The actions and actions of the parents, first of all, must correspond to the requirements for the child, and the educational process must include the same requirements and the personal example of both parents - only in this case, correct and harmonious development will be observed.