Comforting words to a friend when she is ill. Proper support of a man is a real mastery of a woman
Now let's move on to the more practical side - communication ...
Have you often encountered a problem when your friend or loved one has depression, and you do not know what to say to him and how to help overcome this condition? It is very difficult to find the right words in such a situation, because a person can react incorrectly and even inadequately. Below are the most powerful words that will help you support a loved one in difficult times.
Phrases that make it clear that you are worried about a person:
"What can I do for you?"
All written sources describing this problem advise SHOW, not SAY. Words are not all that is helpful for a person struggling with depression.
So, what I find most comforting at a time when it is impossible to collect my thoughts is the arrival of my friend who came and prepared dinner for me, or someone's offer to clean up my place. Believe me, practical care is a very big support for a person who is facing grief or suffering from depression. Why not go and visit a man who has completely lost his mood?
Actions are very effective when communicating, you express compassion to the interlocutor also in a practical way. Even if he is too humble to accept such help, I can assure you that he will put your words in that secret corner of his soul that will remind you: "This person cares about me."
“Maybe there is something that could help you feel better?”
Talk to the person about something that once brought him joy, or about something new that could bring him joy. Perhaps he himself will not have an answer to this question, or perhaps he will remember something that could cheer him up now, but he is not able to do it. Then you can give him that support and help him do something that will cheer him up.
Brew tea, be there, do not say unnecessary words, position him for a confidential conversation.
"Do you want me to accompany you?"
Maybe a person has been used to being alone for a long time and did not even think about the fact that someone might be around at the time when you need to go shopping or get to some place. Moreover, no one accompanied him home. You can offer such support, it will show that you really care about the person and do not want to leave him alone with his thoughts.
Such actions will say more than just the words "I'm there", "I'm with you", "You can count on me", because you are really there, and you can really be counted on!
"Do you find support in someone?"
These words say: “You need support. Let's find a way to get it."
Such a question will help to understand whether a person is surrounded by support from relatives or whether he is left to himself. If you know that someone is trying to support him, but he himself does not talk about it or does not notice support as such, then this will help you understand that it is important for a person, what helps him and what does not.
The more loved ones show such care, the better for the person. If you know that he feels lonely in his trouble and does not receive the support of loved ones, talk to them. Let them know how important it is for them to connect and be there during this difficult time.
You should also not forget that you can seek help from specialists if the person himself does not mind. I think this is not the first method of helping, but if you yourself cannot help a person, it is better to entrust this to professionals. Again, only with the consent of the person. He needs to be helped to understand that depression is a serious and dangerous disease, but quite correctable, especially if the person himself understands this and is ready to fight.
“It will definitely end and you will feel like before”
These words do not judge, impose or manipulate. They just give hope and that HOPE will keep the person alive or at least motivate them to live until the next day to see if there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This is not a simple and seemingly indifferent “It will pass”, “It happens and not like that”. Such words show that you are really worried about what is happening in a person’s life, you wish him and you yourself sincerely believe that this will soon pass.
Make it clear that this is just a disease, a curable condition, after which there is a happy life. Everything will not end on such experiences and emotions.
"What do you think about the most?"
Such a question will help determine the possible cause of depression, what causes the most anxiety and occupies the person’s thoughts. You explore all the possible causes, but don't settle for just one. When through such a conversation a person draws his own conclusions, he will take responsibility for what can be changed.
Perhaps your loved one now really needs a person who knows how to listen and have the right questions for the conversation. Be gentle at this time and be prepared to listen more than talk, and even be silent at the right time.
What time of day is the most difficult for you?
Try to find out when your loved one's depressing thoughts are most disturbing, and be as close as possible at that time. Don't leave him alone. Even when he does not want to talk, believe me, after a while your presence will bring extraordinary fruits and healing.
Calling at the right time, willingness of the other to wait until the time when he wants to talk about the problem, just being there is very valuable! If you are nearby, hug the person, make tea, sit nearby and just be ready to help with all your being. In the most difficult time - you are there. And most importantly, they are constant.
"I'm here to help you"
This is what you can say to validate all the actions you are already doing for the person. You should not throw such words if it is not so. But if it's true, backed up by deeds, it gives strength. It's simple. It is necessary. And in these words there is everything you need to say: I care, although I cannot fully understand everything, but I love and support you.
Silence
This is the most inconvenient because we always want to fill the silence with something, even if it's the weather. But say nothing and just listen - sometimes there is the best and most appropriate answer in this case.
Be sensitive and attentive. Don't talk in vain. Be closer to a person's heart, it can understand even without words.
How can you be prepared to provide this kind of support?
Supporting someone in difficult times is not easy for the one who provides this support. First, because you may not know exactly how to help a person. Secondly, because you are simply worried about him, and yes, you also hurt somewhere inside from his pain!
Stock up on patience and love in advance, be prepared to wait as long as necessary. You won't always understand everything. This is not required of you. But if you are there and support and express care in every way possible for you, you can do it.
But it requires a certain amount of dedication. We are not always ready to invest so much in someone. For this you need to really love.
Help a person to find the meaning of life. If you yourself are confused in this matter, we can talk with you about it. After all, there is nothing more important than the state of the human soul and the contribution that we can make to relationships.
A legend is circulating on the Internet that allegedly in one of the cities there was a unique telephone booth, to which a queue of people who needed the support of another person lined up. After the coin fell into the slot, a beautiful, pleasant female voice sounded in the handset and uttered the necessary and very important words for any person - pleasant words of support.
That everything will be fine, that they love him, that they believe in him and that he will cope with everything. People came out of the telephone booth with happy, slightly bewildered faces. But they really needed those words. Probably, among their relatives and relatives there were no those who could say such words at that very moment. Namely, at this moment, words of support were so needed.
In Ozhegov's dictionary, the word "support" means help, assistance. It is not necessary to wait for difficult life situations to help another person. Remember how we support our babies taking their first steps with the language of words. We don't tell them how clumsy they are and how they still can't walk. On the contrary, we encourage them, an incredible number of times we tell them how great they are, and our kids, pleased with the praise, try their best.
What happens later, when children grow up, we all know very well. Growing up, children are less and less likely to hear from us the words of support they need in various situations.
Recently, my friend's adult daughter participated in an oriental dance competition for the first time. After she took first place and impressed everyone with her stunning rise to the podium, her daughter asked her mother what place she thought she could take. “Well, the fifth, the sixth…” said the mother, knowing about her daughter's talents, but taking into account that this is her first big competition. "Oh, mother, you think badly of me." her daughter replied.
It is important for any of us to know and understand that they believe in you and support your undertakings. It is especially important when we change something in our life and at this stage doubts arise. Here, more than ever, any word of encouragement from loved ones is valuable. Understanding the dreams, hopes, aspirations of another person is not so difficult. But it is possible only when you love.
Sometimes you just need to be supported. They just said a few words: “You will succeed. You are the best. You are super! Well done! It's important to me!".
I don’t know about anyone else, but these words make me wings. And the obstacles that stand in the way seem very small and frivolous. Energy is doubled, good mood is added ... In general, a solid positiff!
Despite the abundance of everyday tasks facing the heads of companies, I have a very respectful attitude towards those who, in front of the entire team, evaluate the work of their employees on merit. For example, in many network companies, the “Recognition” factor is in the first place, inspiring partners for further exploits and accomplishments.
How to support?
There are many universal words of encouragement. When you do not know how to support and encourage another person, ask yourself what words would you like to hear in such a situation? That's how you pronounce it. Just be sincere and everything will work out.
How much does a person need? It happens that a person can be supported without words. A smile and a friendly pat on the shoulder can cheer up a downcast mood. Sincere congratulations in moments of joy will be a great start for further achievements.
We all know perfectly well that with a good mood, things are done faster and more fun. It is possible that an anecdote or someone else's story told in the topic will be an excellent “mood lifter”, which will undoubtedly increase efficiency and productivity.
Good mood service "You are Super!"
With this service, you can remind your loved ones, family and friends about how cool they are! " With the help of the project "You are super!" a real person will call your relatives, friends and acquaintances to say simple but pleasant things in a positive and cheerful voice: they are cool and awesome! Or say whatever you want!
The service is paid, but this is not much money for such a great cause, believe me. You can listen to voice examples on the site itself, and you will hear how much surprise a person experiences from surprise and encouraging words from a stranger. After all, real people are calling.
Here it was possible to discuss the topic, from whom we would like to hear words of support, from people we know or don’t know ... But it’s such a good idea to earn money honestly, while giving a lot of positive emotions and charge for the whole day, which, I think, those who want to discuss are unlikely to be found.
Think about which of your loved ones needs words of support today? Quite possibly, pleasant and unexpected calls will add variety and become a great motivator.
The main thing is that we do not stop believing in ourselves and in our own strengths. Make efforts, try, do not stop there, and believe in yourself and the success of your business. Work on feelings and relationships for yourself and for other people, and everything will definitely work out for you. I sincerely wish you, dear readers, this.
You are super! You are the best!
And everything is in your hands!
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If it is difficult for a person you care about, you should be there. Even those who do not want to appear weak are waiting for a kind word. This makes it easier to deal with problems. Yes, circumstances are not always conducive to this. But if you are alive and well, did not fly on an expedition into space, then there are many ways to support a loved one without a personal presence. One option is messengers.
In dark times, bright people are clearly visible.
Erich Maria Remarque
In order for these words to touch you on a positive side, we offer a complete list with examples of supportive messages that you can send. Copy SMS and immediately send to the recipient.
Universal
In your own words
* * *
I want you to know that even in this moment you are not alone. There are many like you. Lots of. You just don't know. And this confirms the fact that it can be experienced!
* * *
To reach the goal, you must first of all go. If something happened, then you are not standing still. This is just an event that met along the road of life. Nothing just happens.
* * *
The biggest mistake you can make in life is the constant fear of making mistakes.
* * *
Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer from it, instead of living and enjoying it.
* * *
There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere.
* * *
* * *
When you feel very bad, raise your head. You will definitely see the sunshine.
* * *
When you really want something, the whole Universe will help to ensure that your desire comes true.
* * *
You can only see what you believe. Believe and you will see.
* * *
Fuck everyone who doesn't believe in you. Remember once and for all: faith in your own strength is the main incentive to achieve your goal.
* * *
If you don't believe in yourself, you won't achieve anything. Therefore, avoid those who make you doubt your own abilities.
* * *
Do not waste your thoughts, emotions and feelings on unworthy people.
* * *
Helping others improves your own life.
In verse
* * *
While we are alive, we can fix everything ...
Realize everything, repent ... Forgive.
Do not take revenge on enemies, do not dissemble loved ones,
Friends that pushed away, return ...
While we are alive, you can look back ...
See the path you came from.
Waking up from terrible dreams, push off
From the abyss to which they approached.
While we are alive ... How many have managed
Stop loved ones that are gone?
We did not have time to forgive them in life,
And to ask for forgiveness, - Could not.
When they leave in silence
There, from where there is definitely no return,
Sometimes it takes a few minutes
Understand - oh my God, how guilty we are ...
And the photo is a black and white movie.
Tired eyes - a familiar look.
They already forgave us a long time ago
For the fact that they were too rarely around,
For no calls, no meetings, no warmth.
Not faces in front of us, just shadows...
And how much was not said
And not about that, and not with those phrases.
Tight pain - guilt final touch -
Scraping, cold skin.
For all that we have not done for them,
They forgive. We cannot ourselves...
* * *
When a tear drips from pain ...
You sit quietly in silence ...
Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired ...
Tell yourself alone...
I will be happy! No matter what!
* * *
Yes, everyone is missing something...
That snow for some reason quickly melts,
That morning comes late
There are no warm days.
There is always something lacking.
But, living the rest of the days,
Suddenly I see - there is no lack
Nothing ... just not enough years
To stop getting angry
To life and enjoy it.
* * *
You don't have to live to get to heaven
And you need to create a paradise!
Do not slander, do not betray
And don't steal the lives of others.
Sometimes an atheist
According to my conscience
Closer to God than an artist
What is in the cassock for people ...
Once God is in the heart, then heaven is in the soul!
And if it's dark
You can't get to heaven already
Hell no matter...
Loss of a loved one
parents
* * *
Hold on! In memory of my mother. She wouldn't want to see you in despair.
* * *
The death of a loved one is an irreparable grief. I understand how hard it is for you. Be strong in spirit.
* * *
A bright memory of her forever in our hearts. She was a good person, you need to continue to carry out her mission.
* * *
We sincerely mourn and condole with you at this bitter moment.
* * *
We will carry a bright and kind memory of him throughout our lives.
child
* * *
Accept my condolences! There has never been a better one, and there never will be. But in yours and in our hearts, he will remain a young, strong, full of life man. Everlasting memory! Hold on!
* * *
Condolences to you! You need to find the strength in yourself to survive these most difficult minutes and difficult days. In our memory he will forever remain a good man!
* * *
Let me express my most sincere condolences on the occasion of a heavy, irreparable loss!
* * *
For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love of life illuminate your emptiness and grief of loss, help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember him forever!
* * *
It is very bitter to lose loved ones and relatives, but it is doubly difficult when young, beautiful and strong leave us. God rest his soul!
* * *
I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but are there such words on earth at all. Hold on for the sake of blessed memory. Everlasting memory!
Husband/wife
* * *
Love never dies, the memory of it will always light up your heart. You just believe in it!
* * *
A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be near. In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! Be strong!
* * *
The past cannot be returned, but the bright memory of this love will remain with you for life. Be strong!
* * *
I grieve with you at this difficult moment. But for the sake of children, for the sake of loved ones, you need to survive these mournful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
Relatives
* * *
My condolences! It hurts to think about it, it's hard to talk about it. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory!
* * *
Little consolation, but know that we are with you in grief of loss and sincerely empathize with your entire family! Everlasting memory!
* * *
Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! As she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out. Heavenly kingdom to her!
Friends
* * *
I know he meant a lot to you. They say heaven takes the best. Let's believe in it and pray for his soul!
* * *
You were like sisters, I understand your feelings. I want to share this grief with you. How can I help you? You can always count on my support.
* * *
He was a good person. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. Time heals wounds, you must be strong for the sake of your best friend. he wouldn't want you to sag.
* * *
I am very sorry that this happened. I'm truly sorry! You hold on. Your friend is watching you from the sky. Make him proud of you. For the sake of your friendship.
Disease
Addressee
* * *
God does not send such trials to a person that he is unable to survive. So you can, and you will definitely cope with it. I believe!
* * *
Listen to the advice of doctors and take care of yourself. For the sake of a happy future and people who care about you.
* * *
I'm sorry about what happened. Remember, you can always count on me.
* * *
The soul would not have a rainbow if the eyes did not have tears. You'll be fine.
* * *
Everything will be fine. You will get better and life will be filled with bright colors, remember: after the black stripe there is always a white one!
* * *
Believe in your recovery, because good mood and optimism can play an important role. Everything will be fine! It cannot be otherwise!
* * *
Let it be bad now, but then everything will be fine. Everything will change and the pain will recede. God will give strength to endure everything, do not lose hope, hold on.
* * *
Think positive, believe in recovery, do not succumb to illness, fight! It's hard, but you have to keep going! We love you and believe that together we will definitely overcome the disease.
close person of the addressee
* * *
He (she) will definitely recover, you just need to believe and not lose hope.
* * *
Everything will be fine! We are always there. If you need help - get in touch.
* * *
Think only about the good! The disease will pass, he (she) will recover. It won't always be bad. You just have to wait.
* * *
We will pray for him (her), and you hold on!
* * *
God does not send trials that a person cannot survive. And she can! We are sure of it! If you need our help, please contact us. Let's do our best and get better!
Treason
Husband
* * *
Everything in life is for the better, only we understand this over time. The pain will subside, and you will look at the world with different eyes. And then there will be already much worthy people nearby!
* * *
Darling, everything will pass, everything will be fine. I know you are a strong woman, you can handle it. He didn't deserve you. Find the strength to endure this pain. And believe me, all the good things are ahead!
* * *
Everything will be alright. You are a self-sufficient and smart woman. Gather the pain into a fist and throw it away along with all the memories.
* * *
Start life from scratch, do not think about the past. This can be learned. You can do it!
If a close friend has a similar situation, for example, find out and help her with good advice.
Wives
* * *
A woman does not cheat with her body, she cheats with her soul - remember these words. Why do you need a person who betrayed? Find the strength within yourself to get through this. And the sooner you do this, the sooner something good will knock on your life.
* * *
When you leave, you need to leave! Find the strength not to return to the place where you were once betrayed. If you need moral support, you can always contact me. I think you deserve better treatment!
* * *
Respect yourself and understand that you are not on your way with this person. She doesn't deserve respect. Forgive her, let her go and make room next to you for a more worthy woman.
Find out and help the man make the right decision.
guy
Life filters people who don't deserve you. Be grateful to the higher powers that they take care of you and remove from your life those who do not make you happy. It's hard for you right now, that's okay. But over time, you will be convinced that everything is only for the better.
* * *
Don't worry, this is not the last man on Earth.
* * *
He doesn't deserve your suffering, be strong.
* * *
You are beautiful, interesting and smart, so therefore you are not threatened by loneliness.
* * *
I will always support you, you deserve the best. Remember this, and do not humiliate yourself.
girls
* * *
Consider that in this way, forces from above filter people who you do not need. Head higher and forward, the light did not converge on it like a wedge.
* * *
You're a strong guy, you can cut her out of your life. I will always support you!
* * *
You're a good guy, it's her own fault that she didn't value you.
* * *
Everything will be fine, the girls themselves will hang around your neck, you're a macho!
In verse
* * *
How people's lives filter. Noticed?
But she is smarter and wiser,
Yesterday we slept in the same bed,
Not even among friends today.
* * *
Braga is stronger in someone else's glass.
The chest is larger in someone else's wife.
When half a step to the abyss,
we are no longer needed.
I understood one of the truths
that the pig will find dirt everywhere.
Not enough bullets to shoot at the rats
that escape from the ship.
Changed
* * *
Don't blame yourself for what happened. It is human nature to make mistakes. Let this mistake teach you a great lesson: every sunset is the beginning of a new, bright dawn.
* * *
I don't blame you, and I don't support you. You didn't become a bad person after that, you just made a mistake. Do not try to fix the problem, try to fix your thoughts, and then, I am sure, the problem will be solved by itself.
* * *
You can't forget it. But you can stop blaming yourself, and then you will remember it less often.
* * *
There are reasons for everything, and I'm sure you had them too. Do not blame yourself. The one to whom you are really important will not reject you even after what happened, and will give you the opportunity to explain. The important thing is that you sincerely regret it, and have drawn the right conclusions. There are many examples in the world when, after betrayal, people really begin to appreciate each other and are more afraid of losing than those who remain faithful. The former faced the problem head-on, and can assess all the risks. I wish everything goes well!
Betrayal
Friend
* * *
A person who betrayed love can be justified, but a person who betrayed friendship cannot! Draw the right conclusions, and learn to live without this person.
* * *
Pull yourself together and understand that a real friend could not do this to you! Dry your tears and start singing!
* * *
They say that true friends cannot be replaced, your friends easily replaced you. Conclusion - there were no "real". Everything is ahead, believe me!
* * *
I wonder what your former best friends are doing now, probably saying nasty things about you to those they used to say nasty things about. You don't need such people. You are the best and hang out with the best!
Colleagues
* * *
Life provides us with experience in the form of communication with different people. Smoky and not so good or bad. Learn from this lesson and move on. Now you are one situation more experienced! And that's a plus!
* * *
Let this be only a good lesson for you, not suffering. Draw conclusions about this person and communicate with him only at work.
* * *
The main thing is to remain a person in this situation, do not act out of spite.
* * *
Don't sink to someone else's level, and don't let other people drag you down.
Relatives
* * *
You will now calm down, because you have already been given the full measure of our sincere sympathy. And now there is no time to cry, the matter is waiting.
* * *
I understand that it is hard to realize his betrayal, but now you see who surrounds you. And you can change that by talking only with the worthy.
Dismissal
In your own words
* * *
Each finish is the start for something completely new.
Everything will be as it should be. Even if it's different.
* * *
I understand how difficult it is for you right now. But you hold on, you're strong (s), you will succeed.
* * *
If you want to discuss something, you can always count on me.
* * *
Everything will definitely be fine. Everything will end well, and if it's not good yet, then this is not the end.
* * *
You are a good worker, you still have everything ahead of you!
* * *
Everything will work out, you will find the job of your dreams, most importantly, take care of your health.
* * *
I can't go through this for you. But I can live it with you. And together we can do everything.
* * *
Chaos and trouble precede great change - remember that.
* * *
Most likely, the problem will not disappear in 24 hours. But in 24 hours your attitude to this problem can change. Let's change this together. You can always count on my help.
In verse
* * *
“She has no chance,” circumstances declared loudly.
"She's a loser," people shouted.
“She will succeed,” God said quietly.
* * *
You will win - I know for sure.
You will get through - I believe in it.
And not bent and not broken
You hits and losses.
Let it be smooth only on paper -
Although there are many trials
You will overcome step by step
All of them! No matter what!
Accident
In your own words
* * *
Honey, you will get better and soon we will run to discos :)
* * *
Everything will be fine, no one is to blame for what happened!
* * *
The guardian angel protects you, because he gave you a chance to live.
* * *
Nothing terrible happened, everyone is alive, and this is the most important thing.
* * *
I'll come to you for tea, bring cookies and heal you :)
In verse
People, cherish every day
Treasure every minute.
We only live once on earth
Rejoice, it's morning again!
God gave life and blessed us,
May we walk on the right path.
After all, it is not in vain that He instilled a soul in us,
To ask later, beyond that threshold.
Live, love, help each other
We must, it cannot be otherwise.
And for this - God's grace,
And spiritually you will become richer.
Years fly by unnoticed
Rejoice and enjoy life!
Do not skimp on kind words
Please everyone and smile more often!
Animal death
Briefly in your own words
* * *
Sorry. It's like losing a loved one. I understand you. Everything will be fine, hold on.
* * *
Just believe that your dog is there - invisibly nearby.
* * *
I understand how you feel, time will pass and you will feel better.
* * *
You've been in worse situations. And nothing, you did it! And you'll be fine, I'm sure!
* * *
Everything will be fine! We will get through this together.
* * *
I can see how dear he was to you, but keep on living.
Find out and help a person who is ill. For him, this is the same as losing a loved one.
Depressed
In your own words
* * *
Believe in the word that there is something to live for. You're just closed to it right now. Time will pass, and life will take on colors. Trust me, faith will help this fact happen faster.
* * *
Remember, it won't always be like this. We'll laugh at this together.
* * *
Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer it instead of living and enjoying it. Remember this as soon as sadness wants to take possession of you.
* * *
Most people are as happy as they allow themselves to be. Allow yourself to be happy.
In verse
Or maybe just get up on the other foot,
And instead of coffee, take and drink juice ...
And turn your usual steps
In the direction where there will be more use ...
And on this day, do everything wrong:
Put from the end to the beginning of the number,
And the most insignificant trifle
Fill with good and high meaning.
And do what no one expects
And laugh where you cried so much
And the feeling of hopelessness will pass
And the sun will rise where the rain dripped.
From the circle wound by fate
Take it and jump out at the station of the unknown...
You will be surprised - the world is completely different,
And life is more unexpected, and more interesting.
Motivating
In your own words
* * *
The fate of the person who sits in the seat does not move either. Go ahead, I believe in you!
* * *
You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to reach your goal.
* * *
There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere ...
* * *
Remember that when you really want something, the whole Universe will help to make your desire come true.
In verse
Look into your eyes again.
Fly forward again.
Just back - you can not.
Everything that has passed does not count.
And it's easy to let go.
Believe: movement is life.
The past is far away
Just don't turn around!
Beloved girlfriend/wife
In your own words
* * *
My love, everything will be fine, you are strong! I'm always there, remember that!
* * *
Honey, you can always rely on me!
* * *
Remember: we ourselves invent problems, barriers, complexes and frameworks for ourselves. Free yourself - breathe life and understand that you can do everything. I love you and that's the main thing.
* * *
You are the best woman for me in the whole world, remember that. Smile and never sour.
* * *
Darling, there will always be people who will hurt you. You have to keep trusting people, just be a little more careful.
* * *
The secret of happiness, my dear, is to enjoy every little thing and not get upset over every stupid thing.
* * *
You are the best man on the Earth. And the best will be fine. You just need to be a little patient. Remember - sugar at the bottom. As long as you have me, we can handle it.
In verse
* * *
If only, baby, I could
When it's so hard for you
Substitute two wings on the fly
Under your weary wing.
If I could make it
Disperse the clouds above you
So that you forget all the worries of the day
And peace returned to again.
It's a pity, but I'm just a woman - not God,
My heart is with you, and you hold on.
So that you can withstand the storm,
I pray quietly for your life.
* * *
Who hung their nose so low?
Who is sad for no apparent reason?
So I want you to be happy again
Do not invent stupid things!
Let your mood jump
Look at the colors in life again!
Happiness lies ahead
Well - give me a smile quickly!
* * *
There is no point in any line.
And a glass - for success ahead.
Girlfriend / friend
In your own words
* * *
This world is yours, just be yourself always!
* * *
Remember that you will always be the winner in any situation.
* * *
Any problem must be met with a smile. The problem will think that you are stupid and run away :)
* * *
Tomorrow, the one who reads this SMS will find his happiness :)
* * *
Until tomorrow comes, you will not understand how good you were today. Therefore, believe in the best, and do not give up. You are the best friend in the world!
* * *
You, the best and most faithful friend, I am very glad that I have you.
In verse
* * *
When a tear drips from pain ...
When the heart beats with fear...
When the soul hides from the light...
When all life is torn from grief ...
You sit quietly in silence ...
Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired ...
Tell yourself alone...
I will be happy! No matter what!
* * *
Each of us has a breaking point
When the heart gets heavy
When we feel like we're falling off a cliff
And life becomes like a black spot ...
Each of us has a ray of hope
And someone very close and dear
Will not let you fall into the abyss
And he will say: "Don't be afraid, I'm with you!"
* * *
Smile! There is no place for sadness
In such a beautiful and young soul.
After all, we are sad, to be honest,
There is no point in any line.
Every day is filled with new happiness
And a glass - for success ahead.
You are capable of many things in life
Just believe, don't give up and wait!
Military
In your own words
* * *
You are doing a great job - protecting your homeland! You are strong, may the guardian angel always be there!
* * *
I'm proud of you, you are my protector! I am warmed by the thought that we will soon meet and be together.
* * *
Honey, you're strong, you can handle it! Remember that my thoughts are always with you! We'll meet soon, remember that.
* * *
For me, the military is an example of courage and strength. Therefore, you have no right to give up, life has rewarded you with a worthy position, which is already in your blood. I believe in you! You are the best!
In verse
* * *
Forget everything, don't fall low
Be brave, be happy, dream
Don't take everything too close
And don't take it at all.
Words are just someone's opinion
They mean nothing.
Be strong in battle and change your mind
At the call of your heart.
* * *
Problems were, are and will be,
You don't have to suffer because of them.
Around there are films, books, people -
Find something to keep yourself busy.
Learn to learn from mistakes
(Of course, better on strangers).
And do not be ashamed of stuffed cones,
Life is like that, where would we be without them
Be a positive person
Love people, love yourself
Fill your life with cheerful laughter
Take a deep breath and ... live!
* * *
Our whole life is just a moment,
Dependent on us.
And from diapers to wrinkles
There is a bridge as long as "now".
And we will remember yesterday,
We want to wait tomorrow...
But heaven has its own game ...
Seven rules and reasons.
Live without breaking them
To save the soul.
When the war ends
You will be appreciated...
No need to look for logic
After all, you can not have time
Kiss relatives,
And sing the song of the heart...
Video to the material
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To begin with, understand and accept one thing: even though you have known each other for a long time and you know a person as flaky, now this does not mean at all that his behavior will meet your expectations. “There are certain general stages of grief. You can fully focus on them, remembering, of course, that each of us still needs an individual approach, ”explains psychologist Marianna Volkova.
Our experts:
Anna Shishkovskaya
Psychologist at the Nina Rubshtein Gestalt Center
Marianna Volkova
Practicing psychologist, specialist in family and individual psychology
How to support a person if he is in shock
Stage #1: usually a person is in complete shock, confusion and simply cannot believe in the reality of what is happening.
What to say. If you are really close friends, it is best for you to be there without relying on the phone, Skype or SMS. For some people, tactile contact is very important, the ability to see the interlocutor in front of you live. “At this time, conversations and attempts to express condolences are not needed,” Marianna Volkova is sure. - None. Therefore, if your friend asks you to be around and at the same time refuses to communicate, do not try to talk to him. Contrary to your expectations, it will not get easier for him. It is worth talking about what happened only when the loved one is ready for it. In the meantime, you can hug, sit next to me, hold your hand, stroke your head, bring tea with lemon. All conversations are strictly on business or on abstract topics.
What to do. The loss of a loved one, sudden terrible illnesses and other blows of fate require not only reflection, but also many worries. Don't think that giving this kind of help is easy. It requires a lot of emotional return and is very exhausting. How to support a person in such a situation? First, ask how you can be of help. A lot depends on what state your friend is in. You may have to take on organizational issues: call, find out, negotiate. Or give the unfortunate a sedative. Or wait with him in the doctor's waiting room. But, as a rule, it is enough to at least deal with everyday issues: put things in order, wash the dishes, cook food.
How to support a person if he is acutely worried
Stage #2: accompanied by acute feelings, resentment, misunderstanding and even aggression.
What to do. It is clear that it is difficult to communicate at this moment. But right now, a friend needs attention and support. Try to come more often, be in touch if he is left alone. You can invite him to visit for a while. It is important to clearly understand whether you are mentally ready for this.
Words of condolence
“Most people, when expressing condolences, use conventional phrases that do not carry any meaning. Actually, this is a courtesy and nothing more. But when it comes to a loved one, you need something more than a formality. There is, of course, no one-size-fits-all template. But there are things that definitely shouldn’t be said,” says Marianna Volkova.
- If you don't know what to say, shut up. Better hug once again, show that you are there and ready to help at any moment.
- Avoid expressions like “everything will be fine”, “everything will pass” and “life goes on”. You seem to promise good things, but only in the future, not now. Such conversations are annoying.
- Try not to ask unnecessary questions. The only appropriate in this situation: "How can I help?" Everything else will have to wait.
- Never say words that might devalue what happened. “And someone can’t walk at all!” - this is not a consolation, but a mockery for a person who has lost, say, an arm.
- If your goal is to give moral support to a friend, first of all you yourself must be stoic. Sobbing, lamenting and talking about the injustice of life is unlikely to calm.
How to support a person if he is depressed
Stage #3: at this time, a realization of what happened comes to a person. Expect depression and depression from a friend. But there is good news: he begins to understand that he needs to somehow move on.
What to say. We are all different, so the best thing you can do is ask what exactly a loved one expects from you.
- Some people need to talk about what happened.“There are people who, in a difficult situation, it is vital to speak out loud their emotions, fears and experiences. A friend does not need condolences, your task is to listen. You can cry or laugh with him, but it’s not worth giving advice and putting in your five cents in every possible way, ”advises Marianna Volkova.
- Some people need a distraction to get over grief. You are required to talk on extraneous topics, to involve a person in solving some issues. Invent urgent matters that require full concentration of attention and constant employment. Do everything so that your friend has no time to think about what he is trying to escape from.
- There are people who, in difficult life situations, prefer loneliness - it is easier for them to cope with their emotions. If a friend tells you that they don't want any contact yet, the worst thing you can do is try to get into his soul with the best of intentions. Simply put, forcibly "do good." Leave the person alone, but be sure to make it clear that you are there and ready to provide all possible assistance at any time.
What to do.
- In the first case, help of a domestic nature is often required, especially if your loved one is not one of those who easily negotiates, communicates and can easily choose the best of several proposed options.
- You have to help your friend step back a little from what happened. If you are connected by work issues, you can carry out distracting maneuvers in this direction. A good option is sports. The main thing is not to torture yourself and his grueling workouts, but choose what you like. You can go to the pool, to the court or to yoga together. The goal is to try to have fun.
- In the third case, you only need what you are asked for. Don't insist on anything. Invite “to go out and unwind” (what if he agrees?), but always leave the choice to the person and do not be intrusive.
How to support a person when he has already experienced grief
Stage #4: This is a period of adaptation. You could say rehab.
What to say. It was at this time that a person re-establishes contacts, communication with others gradually takes on its usual form. Now a friend may need parties, travel, and other trappings of a mourning-free life.
What to do. “If your friend is quite ready to communicate, you don’t need to try to somehow “correctly” behave in his company. Do not try to forcefully cheer, shake and bring to life. At the same time, you can not avoid direct looks, sit with a sour face. The more habitually you adjust the atmosphere, the easier it will be for a person,” Marianna Volkova is sure.
Visit to a psychologist
Whatever stage a person is in, friends sometimes try to provide help they don't need. For example, forcibly send to a psychologist. Here you have to be especially careful, because sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes it is completely unnecessary.
“Experiencing trouble, sadness is a natural process that, as a rule, does not need professional help,” says psychologist Anna Shishkovskaya. – There is even a term “work of grief”, the healing effect of which is possible provided that a person allows himself to go through all the stages. However, this is precisely what becomes a problem for many: to allow yourself to feel, to meet experiences. If we try to “run away” from strong, unpleasant emotions, to ignore them, the “work of grief” is disrupted, “getting stuck” at any of the stages can occur. That’s when the help of a psychologist is really needed.”
Support cons
The tragedy experienced sometimes gives people a reason to manipulate others. This, of course, is not about the first, most difficult period. But you may be required to be present for long periods of time. Your personal life, work, desires will not be taken into account. Let's say you invited a friend to stay with you for a while - a fairly common practice. But all the agreed terms have long passed, and the person continues to visit. You are silent, because it is impolite to talk about inconveniences, but spoiled relationships will be a natural result.
Equally important is the financial issue. It happens that time passes, everything that was needed is done, but the need for investment does not disappear. And you, by inertia, continue to give money, afraid to refuse. " I noticed that you are starting to sacrifice yourself and your interests, which means there is a reason to talk and clarify the situation,” recalls Anna Shishkovskaya. - Otherwise, the accumulated resentment and indignation will one day provoke a serious conflict with mutual claims. It would be nice not to lead to a scandal, but to mark the boundaries in time.
Personal dramas are just one of those troubles in which friends are known. And your behavior during this period will certainly affect your relationship in one way or another. Therefore, it is worth rushing to help only if you sincerely want it.
Bad things happen in everyone's life. Someone outwardly calmly survives death, but for someone, a reprimand at work or a failed exam at the institute becomes a real disaster. In moments of crisis, the participation of others is able to reassure and help to believe in oneself again. What words of support can be spoken in difficult times? Is everyone around you worth empathizing with?
When can you pry into other people's business?
To remain indifferent to the problems of a loved one, close friend or relative is at least uncivilized. Even if what happened seems like a mere trifle to you, you need to give the “victim” the opportunity to speak out. Try to give some useful advice on solving an existing problem, or simply express your sympathy. Do you need your words of support in difficult times for a casual acquaintance or an ordinary friend? That's a moot point. Many people feel embarrassed when they learn about the death of the husband of "Masha from the neighboring department at work" and do not know how to respond correctly. Sticking with your formal condolences to a person who works in the same office building with you is not always decent. But if we are talking about a classmate at the institute, with whom you regularly meet for coffee and chat about trifles, it is already impolite to ignore what happened. The most appropriate thing in this situation would be to briefly express your condolences or regrets and offer help.
What to say to a loved one?
Sometimes it seems to us that we know and understand our friends better than ourselves. But something happens, and it is not at all clear what kind of support a friend should have in difficult times. If a person is in the mood to talk, be sure to give him this opportunity. Try to retire somewhere where no one can overhear you. Do not pester with additional questions, but just listen and show interest with all your appearance. But not all people are used to sharing their problems. If your friend is from this category, and does not start a conversation first, it is better to let him calm down and not bother with questions. You should not give obsessive advice, but it is permissible to tell how you would act in such a situation.
How to rehabilitate a friend?
Some problems can be solved. With others, it remains only to reconcile. In the first case, the task of a loved one is to help his friend calm down quickly and take action. In the second type of situation, the only way you can help is to try to distract your comrade. The most important thing is to choose the right strategy. If your friend has a loved one in an accident, he is unlikely to want to go to the club to have fun. But visiting the hospital together, walking together for a leisurely conversation is a completely different matter. Of course, the support of a friend in difficult times implies real help. If possible, offer to live together for a while, take on some of the household chores and offer the injured party a good night's sleep and rest.
What do you do when your loved one is in trouble?
Supporting a loved one is extremely difficult. It is important to remember that your view of the problem may be radically different from the perception of the situation by your partner. It is much easier for men to understand their women than vice versa. The fair sex is emotional, many ladies like to not only describe in detail what happened, but also talk about their feelings. The man only needs to listen. A common mistake that many husbands make: only after learning about the problem, they begin to look for solutions. It's not exactly the right tactic. A woman must first pity and reassure. And only after that you can make some attempts to solve the problem. It is quite possible that real actions will not be required, but it is enough to find words of support in difficult times and remind them of their love and willingness to help.
How to help a beloved man survive the dark streak?
If in a couple troubles occurred with a representative of the stronger sex, a woman should gain wisdom. For some men, problems are only new lessons, while for others, any failure is the end of the world. The main rule is the same as when communicating with any other person. You can not try to find out more than your interlocutor is trying to tell you. Support for a loved one in difficult times can also be based on a complete disregard for the problem. It’s worth behaving as if nothing had happened, trying to please your spouse with some little things. Some men need encouragement. It would be appropriate to say that, thanks to the strong qualities of character, they will be able to change and improve everything. The most important thing is to avoid criticism. Even if the current situation occurred due to the mistake and shortcoming of your spouse, you should not remind him of this. Suffice it to say that everything will definitely be as it was or even better.
How to console the patient?
Health problems are the most serious. No wonder they say that you can buy everything except longevity and your well-being. What words of support for a sick person will really help? If the disease is not serious, try to cheer up your interlocutor and jokingly call for a speedy recovery. It would be useful to recall what awaits the patient after discharge from the hospital. Promise to go together to some interesting place or take a long-awaited walk. It will also encourage the patient that his presence is not enough for everyone.
What about those who are seriously ill?
If the disease is serious enough, it is necessary to please the patient with every little thing and try to maintain his good mood. Daily let's set the fact that a cure is possible. Tell about people who have successfully overcome this disease, and try to introduce your relative or friend to one of them, even if only virtually, using the Internet.
Should parents be supported?
It is not always easy to find words of support for a loved one. How to behave if your parents have problems? Between relatives so close, there should be no secrets. But for parents, we remain children at any age, and for this reason it is difficult for them to talk about their troubles and admit their own weaknesses. Words must be chosen very carefully. Whatever you say, it should not call into question the authority of the parents. The best tactic will be the usual care and participation. Show your attention, and, most likely, mom or dad will not only tell everything, but maybe even ask for help or advice. If a person is depressed and does not seek to find a way out of this situation, you should help him tune in a more positive way. Try something to distract your parents or just talk, remembering the past. The most important thing is not to panic and not rush to act. Once calm comes, you can think about the current situation and find the best way to solve this problem.
How can you help your child deal with problems?
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