How to control emotions - learn to control yourself. How to control your emotions and feelings How to control your emotions at work
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Every person wants to be happy, to succeed, to create a prosperous family. To do this, he creates plans, defines his goals and objectives, imagining in advance a plan for their solution and his own actions. But it is natural for a person to be distracted, to forget about everything that he has planned, succumbing to a momentary desire or action that does not at all correspond to the chosen plan of actions. Being distracted by a fleeting desire, it is common for an individual not only to forget about the plans that have been made, but it is also difficult to return to their implementation. The reason for all this is the lack of a person's ability to control their actions, desires and emotions. The ability to control one’s own “I” is the strength of the individual’s character, which helps to hold back unnecessary emotions, take feelings under one’s own control, the ability to act purposefully at any time, restrain impulsive urges, while following established norms and rules of behavior.
Deprived of self-control of their own emotional states and feelings, a person is able to easily succumb to them and commit uncontrolled, thoughtless actions. The ability to restrain and self-control these are the qualities of character that the majority lacks in the modern world. Due to the different species and the different upbringing of individuals, situations called conflicts very often occur. The emotionality of a person, the lack of skills of self-control, control of one's own emotions, leads to disastrous consequences, changes in the mental state of the individual, and the development of aggression. Therefore, how to learn to control yourself and not get angry is not an easy question, but one of the frequently asked psychologists.
A person experiences deep respect, admiration and, most importantly, the desire to become similar, looking at a person who is able to control emotions, act in accordance with set goals, able to achieve success without being distracted by petty desires, focus on the main thing, separate the secondary from the truly important.
How to control yourself and not be nervous? Realize that this is a necessary quality of a person, find a point of contact that encourages agreement with one's own "I". Restraint and the ability to control helps to regulate the levels of emotional manifestations, which allows you to achieve success in various areas, the most important thing is to establish peace of mind and maintain a healthy psyche. Possession of the quality of control allows the individual to feel protected, to achieve personal freedom, to gain respect from himself and from the people around him. A person who is able not to obey, but to overcome his own momentary desires is strong, able to overcome all sorts of difficulties. Meanwhile, his willpower is hard to break for those who wish harm to this individual. Restrained people are able to control themselves, their own actions, thoughts, emotions, deeds.
How to learn to control yourself and not get angry at others? How to learn to act correctly? Actions, after which a person repents, are often committed in a state of emotional discontrol and following false feelings. There is absolutely nothing good that a person's emotions occupy the upper step above his mind. Everything should interact harmoniously, leading a person to success in the professional sphere, in personal life and to inner peace of mind. Therefore, a person who wants to learn control must carefully analyze his own behavior and desires. Having done this, find “weak spots” where he allows you to give up and let emotions take over.
Itzhak Pintosevich, a person who is a coach of the success of human life, expressed the opinion that for the effectiveness and success of achieving self-control, control must consist of three components that must develop simultaneously:
- first - the subject needs to learn to treat himself honestly, not to be deceived and not to create illusions around;
Secondly, control must exist in two planes: internal and external. By controlling the fulfillment of the assigned task himself, a person can tell his colleagues or friends about it, while promising them that if he does not complete it at the appointed time, he will pay a fine. An external stimulus allows you not to be distracted by third-party activities, but to go in the set direction;
- the third - the control of one's behavior should be carried out systematically and only. If an individual engages in self-control from time to time, it will be just a waste of time, and the person himself, confident in his efforts aimed at control, will complain about life, fate, and as a result, disappointment in his own life, because he did not succeed.
A person starting to learn should make a list of goals, following the appropriate hierarchy. This list should always be in plain sight: on the desktop, on the refrigerator, on the wall that the individual sees when he wakes up. You need to control the actions performed every day, noting even the slightest progress towards the goal.
Getting into a variety of situations, whether they are joyful or sad, you should analyze what is happening and track your own reaction, what kind of emotional reaction comes out and at what moments.
Having identified situations that cause a "storm of emotions", the individual needs to understand and realize whether the incident is worth such experiences. It is possible to imagine the worst solution to the situation, which will make it possible to realize which of the consequences will be more detrimental to the psychological state of the individual: the consequences of the situation that happened or inadequate, emotionally thoughtless behavior.
For the release of accumulated negative energy, sports are well suited: any kind of struggle or self-defense. Important is the inner desire of the individual to get rid of negative emotions. This can be done in a different way, more loyal to one's own physical health and to the health of others. For example, if an individual does not like some subject, so much so that the person is ready to get into a fight or simply destroy him, this really needs to be done. But you need to do it mentally! In a situation where a person becomes uncomfortable at the moment of communication with the subject of hatred, one should mentally do everything that one wants with this subject. It is also possible to use paper as a tool to help get rid of negative emotions: you can draw a person whom you hate, and next to write out the problems that have appeared due to this person. Then the sheet should be burned, and mentally or even verbally put an end to the relationship with the person.
Faced daily with rudeness and injustice, the individual should not be upset and react violently every time. Without the ability to change circumstances, you just need to change your attitude towards them, it is much easier to deal with your own attitude.
The emotional state of a person is relatively strongly dependent on the state of his finances. You should keep your financial situation, loans, expenses and income under control. The fewer shortcomings there are and problems in the direction of finance, the less reason there will be to be distracted, pay attention and spend your energy.
Creating maximum comfort in the house, calmness in all matters and relationships, the ability to influence what is happening at any moment is the surest way to the ability to control your own emotional experiences.
How to learn to control yourself in alcohol
Self-control is a quality that consists not only in the ability to regulate emotions and feelings, but also your habits, hobbies and activities. Often there are many difficulties in controlling alcohol consumption. Alcohol is a certain kind of toxin, the use of which is relatively difficult to give up, but many do not have such a desire. There is only a desire to learn to control the edge of what is permitted. Many drinks with the presence of alcohol, entering the body, show their effect not immediately, but after a certain time. It is for this reason that individuals who generally drink in small quantities are the most drunken of a large group.
There are several ways to learn to control yourself in alcohol and not be angry for the consequences.
The first thing an individual needs to do is to realize that drinking alcohol weakens the will of a person, the ability to control his actions. After all, for many people it all starts with drinking alcohol in a large circle of friends, in honor of the holiday. But this usual use can turn into excessive, regardless of the situation. Over a certain amount of time, the individual is faced with the fact that his life has changed qualitatively and descended to a completely undesirable level of being.
The second step to implementing alcohol regulation is realizing that drinking has become uncontrolled. It must be admitted to the individual that this has become his weakness. As soon as he admits that he is weak, there comes a moment that can move a person further along the path of solving the problem.
Drinking alcohol alone should be avoided. "If it's just beer" - many will notice. The use of beer becomes the source of the development of alcoholism, and leads to a form that is very difficult to cure. You should also avoid companies where they often drink, especially for no reason. It is important to learn your norm and always try to control it.
If an individual knows that in his free time he can easily go and knock over a bottle of alcohol, rules for free time should be established. Instead of a noisy company with alcohol and festivities until the morning, it is better to go to the cinema, theater, go for a run. You need to lead the most active lifestyle, find a hobby that will bring the same pleasure as alcohol. But if you have to go on a holiday that involves drinking, you should clearly determine the amount of alcohol that will be drunk. It would be even better if your friend or girlfriend knows about it, who can also control it.
You should learn to set yourself a goal of a healthy lifestyle, deriving pleasure without the use of any toxins.
How to learn to control your appetite
A large number of girls ruin their health with various diets and starvation in order to lose weight, which is considered superfluous, to get in shape to please men. After some time of inactivity, the girls gain weight again, this leads to irritability, anger, and sometimes depression. Experts involved in proper nutrition argue that a more effective way to lose weight is to regulate your own appetite. That is, you should learn to recognize the desires of the body itself, how to satisfy them, while controlling your appetite. Scientists distinguish different types of hunger, respectively, this requires different methods of control.
So there is a visual hunger, when a person passes by a display case with rolls, a person notices a croissant or a patty, which causes an instant thirst to eat it. The type of food provokes the release of a certain set of hormones into the blood, which provoke a feeling of hunger.
How to control visual hunger:
- a person should first of all switch to a completely different object. Figuratively speaking, eat through the eyes of a cute guy passing by or an apple depicted on a poster;
- before eating, it is worth considering it carefully, how appetizing everything looks;
- even if the meal takes place alone, the table setting should be perfect, down to the color of the tablecloth and the correct arrangement of food on the plate.
Physiological hunger is a breakdown, rumbling in the stomach, headache. These are signs that the body needs to replenish its energy reserves.
How to control your appetite:
- eat slowly, paying attention to the signals given by the body;
- stop in the middle of a meal in order to assess the strength;
Don't confuse hunger with or anxiety.
Taste hunger may be due to the desire to feel a special taste, something specific or original.
To control taste hunger you need:
- use the same product in different dishes (for example, cook fish for a couple, in the oven or make fish meatballs;
- try to diversify the food you take as much as possible, even if it wakes up something extraordinary.
You should also learn to ask questions to yourself: “Is it worth it?”, “Am I sure that I really want this?” Until you get a true answer to these questions, do not simply clog your stomach.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
All things, objects, all living beings are all one energy. There were yogis on Earth who could eat nails. That is, simply put, it does not matter what is, because it is all one single energy. And they didn't see the difference between eating nails and eating bananas. They are just different forms of the same energy.
It is difficult to understand and even more difficult to accept and realize.
The earth met many such people who could do what an ordinary person cannot. It all seems strange, mysterious, stupid and implausible to us, but who knows how it really is.
This is beyond our minds, but does it mean that it is not so?
But it's not just about visible and tangible objects. This also applies to our feelings and emotions, thoughts. It is all one energy. Fear comes from the same energy as joy. But they simply appear in various forms that are understandable to us, our body, our body, our mind.
You can imagine a beautiful sexy woman or man (depending on what gender you are) and after a while you will feel the reaction of your body. But there is no one around, you are alone. Why is this happening? Your thoughts have become the source of change in the body. You imagined, you thought, and you got a physical reaction in response. Everything is born in us.
Accordingly, we ourselves can control our emotions and reactions to them. But that's okay. Let's look further.
Let's continue with sexual energy. By itself, it is of little use to us. This is the desire of the opposite sex. But in it, as I have said more than once on the pages of the site, great power hidden. But how to make it so that you feel it for yourself.
One of the ways to transform it and transform it for possible use is the method of focusing on the energy of this feeling.
How to learn to control your emotions?
You don't need to do anything special for this. The energy of emotion itself will do everything.
Our task is simply to feel the emotion or feeling as energy in the body. And she transforms herself.
This applies not only to sexual energy. This also works with feelings of fear, despair, sadness, disappointment. This applies to all feelings and emotions. From the point of view of energy, all emotions are no different from each other.
Emotion can be felt inside your body.
Just like you could feel the energy of sexual arousal, you can just try to feel the energy of fear when you are very scared. Just stop and listen carefully to yourself. You will understand that this emotion is concentrated somewhere in one place of your body, it can be felt as something that is inside you.
This is not just something abstract, you will clearly feel it. It is right here and now right in this place.
It is the sensation, the perception of one's emotion as energy, that transforms and transforms it.
Our worries and worries do not arise out of the blue, but always have their own reasons for this. And they concern us the most. We think about the causes of fear, about who or who caused it. About the consequences. Thus, we drive ourselves even more into it. As I said, all emotions are born in us. We are their sources.
You need to discard unnecessary thoughts regarding stories associated with emotion. You just need to concentrate on the feeling itself, as in our example, fear.
Transformation practice. Meditation.
How to learn to control your emotions through meditation? The transformation is best done in the form .
Let's try.
Purpose of Meditation. Feel the emotion as energy, as created from it, direct your attention to it.
We do not think about how to transform energy or sublimate it when it comes to sexual energy. We simply focus our attention on emotions as energy. And that's all. The transformation happens by itself.
For meditation, let's try to use the energy of fear. Although, of course, you can try to remember those moments in your life when you were very happy about something. Choose any emotion you want.
Remember that this is just energy. She has no characteristics, neither good nor bad.
I will now try to describe the process of meditation, you will understand how it is done and you can practice it without any problems.
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Incredible Facts
Feeling emotions is normal, the problem is that often we do not know at all what to do with them.
Therefore, in most cases, we resort to familiar methods. For men, the most common outlets are video games, alcohol and smoking. Women deal with their emotions through food or shopping.
It's good if it happens from time to time. However, more often than not, we use such unhealthy methods regularly. In the end, our relationships, work and health suffer.
How can you learn to manage your emotions effectively?
There are a few rules to remember.
How to learn to control your emotions
1. You don't choose your emotions because they originate in a part of the brain that we have no control over.
2. Emotions defy moral rules. They are neither good nor bad, right or wrong. It's just emotions.
3. You are in charge of your emotions.
4. You can suppress emotions, but you cannot get rid of them.
5. Emotions can lead you astray or lead you down the right path. Everything depends on your actions.
6. The more you ignore them, the stronger they become.
7. The only way to deal with emotions is to allow yourself to feel them..
8. Emotions fuel your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to control your emotions.
9. You need to understand your emotions and what they want to tell you so you can deal with stress. In other words, you need to digest your emotions.
10. Every emotion carries an important message. This message helps you understand yourself better, even if you try to hide it. Do yourself a favor and accept whatever emotions you have by feeling them.
11. How your parents reacted to your emotions determines how you feel about your emotions now. As you have matured, your emotions have matured along with you. They developed, became deeper and more influential.
How to manage emotions
Your emotions have long been trying to come to the surface. They do not disappear, but go deep into the roots, and these roots make sense.
If you want to get to know your emotions better, start acknowledging them to avoid misunderstandings with others.
There are a few simple steps on how to learn to deal with your emotions.
1. What emotion are you experiencing
The first thing you need to do is determine how you feel. Psychologists distinguish 4 basic emotions: anxiety, sadness, anger, joy.
When you are anxious, thoughts come to you: " What if I don't find a job?", "What if I'm lonely?", "What if I fail the exam?". You worry about the future and what might go wrong. Physically, you may feel an increased heartbeat, muscle tension, jaw clenching.
When you are sad, you have negative thoughts about the past. You feel tired and heavy, you may cry and have difficulty concentrating.
Anger is expressed in thoughts focused on how someone encroached on your values. The physical symptoms are similar to those of anxiety: heart palpitations, a feeling of tightness in the chest.
When you rejoice, thoughts are focused on your accomplishments. For example, you got a desired job, bought an apartment, or received a compliment. Physically, you feel light and calm, smile and laugh.
2. Determine the message of your emotions
Ask yourself a question to understand why you have this or that emotion:
Anxiety: What am I afraid of?
Sadness: What have I lost?
Anger: What values of mine have been hurt by the other person?
Happiness: What did I get?
Emotion management
Once you have identified an emotion and its message, you need to take action. Ask yourself if there is anything that can solve the situation. If possible, do so.
For example, if you are sad and cannot find a job, you can turn to friends and acquaintances for help.
If there is nothing you can do, think about how you can deal with the emotion. Meditate, talk to a friend, write down your thoughts on paper, get physically active, seek professional help. Choose what's right for you.
Emotions play an important role in human life. Failure to manage them can lead to sad events. This article will tell you what emotions are, how to properly control them.
The content of the article:
Emotions are one of the functions of the neuropsychic activity of the body, perception and reaction to the world around and the events taking place in it. People express their attitude to this through emotions. The ability to control the situation to one degree or another is inherent in everyone. What seems simple and ordinary to us, scientists have been studying for many centuries. Interestingly, for a full life, a person needs not only positive, but also negative emotions associated with anger, resentment, despair.
Why Control Your Emotions
In order to become happy and free, a person must be able to manage himself. Lack of control of their emotions is fraught with rash actions. Feelings are unpredictable and can at any moment interfere with even good intentions. Their spontaneous nature makes it difficult to move towards their goals.
Everyone experiences emotions differently. If negative, a psychomotor delay occurs, which can even cause pathologies. Failure to control your emotions can also lead to:
- Resentment of loved ones. In a fit of anger, a person is able to utter many unflattering phrases and insults to relatives. Resentment is the same aggression.
- Loss of trust. As a rule, it takes months, and sometimes even years, to build close relationships with others. You can lose them once and for all, simply by weakening control over your own feelings.
- Cardiovascular diseases. Strong psychological experiences can lead to serious physiological consequences. Often it is the heart that suffers the most.
- Decreased immunity. Any stress has a destructive effect that can lower the resistance of the body's defenses.
- Psychological disorders, depression. With long moral and emotional pressures, a person is able to fall into depression, the way out of which is possible only with long-term drug treatment.
As we grow older, we learn how and when to express our feelings, how to control our emotions. If bursts of consciousness do not find a way out, then they accumulate. And to avoid this, you have to choose - to suppress or still manage emotions. The first option, unlike the second, will not help solve existing problems, but will only exacerbate them. It's like a time bomb waiting for its time.
By managing our emotions, we strive for peace and tranquility, and by suppressing them, we live in fear and risk getting a lot of chronic diseases. Most emotional states strongly affect a person's behavior in society. That is why special methods have been developed on how to properly manage your emotions.
Note! Uncontrolled feelings can cause significant harm to relationships with other people. For example, it is difficult to meet those who want to communicate with a person who "explodes" for any reason.
The main types of human emotions
Since feelings cannot be the same in different circumstances, it is quite logical that they are divided into certain types. Emotions are positive, negative (negative), neutral.
There is a special kind of emotions - affect, in which a person is practically unable to control them. It's like an emergency program of the body: depending on the circumstances, a person can become aggressive, go on the run or become numb, kill someone, although before that he had not offended a fly.
Positive emotions are:
- Delight is a strong upsurge of positive emotions.
- Trust is a feeling when open, trusting relationships are built between people.
- Pride is usually a positive self-assessment of one's own or others' actions.
- Joy - corresponds to the inner feeling of satisfaction.
- Love is a feeling of deep affection.
- Tenderness - strengthens relationships and gives rise to affection between people.
- Pleasure - is expressed in obtaining a positive emotional background.
- Sympathy is a disposition towards a person based on common views, values, or interests.
- Grief is a person's reaction to loss, the loss of a loved one.
- Fear is a negative feeling associated with a threat to human security.
- Anxiety - arises in a situation of expectation of an uncertain danger.
- Anger is essentially an affect directed against an injustice experienced.
- Despair is a state of hopelessness of a person.
- Revenge is an act of retribution for the wrong done, evil.
- Schadenfreude is the joy associated with someone's failure.
- Longing - also called her mental anxiety.
- Curiosity is a petty interest in knowing unimportant details.
- Astonishment is extreme surprise at something.
- Indifference or apathy is a state of complete indifference to ongoing events.
Emotional reactions to stress can lead to both positive and negative consequences. It would be wise to immediately understand the problem and find a way out of this situation. Feelings will arise, but their influence will not be so strong, it will be easier to respond to external factors and control them.
What emotions do you need to work on?
It's not just negative emotions that need to be controlled. Skills to control positive feelings and reactions to certain factors also need to be learned to apply. It is worth working with those emotions that can bring suffering, both to yourself and others, as well as those that make you feel ashamed for what you have done in the future.
Now it is not easy to cope with internal anxiety, stress, negative situations. A person has to live in a non-stop mode, constantly striving to survive, to be no worse than others, to earn. All this leads to moral exhaustion. And now he is forced to look for an answer to the question of whether it is possible to control emotions without wasting much time on it.
Christianity speaks of seven deadly sins, such as stinginess, envy, lust, gluttony, despondency, laziness, pride. They are the cause of many of the resulting vices. Because of pride, we build all sorts of intrigues for people, because of envy, we hate those who have achieved more than we do.
If we combine these vices into the "three whales" of the emotional world, we get the following:
- selfishness. Part of the personality that wants recognition, praise, superiority over other people. This shows our social existence, the image that we want to leave in the minds of the people around us. Also selfishness includes: envy, greed, pride, resentment, malevolence, vanity, ambition. It is a strong source of our experiences.
- Thirst for strong feelings. Thrills that bring physical pleasure, such as lust and gluttony. Participation in intrigues, creation of conflict situations. Dependence on television, computer games.
- Weaknesses. They are expressed in weakness of character, lack of will, dependence on extraneous opinions, excitement, nervousness, passivity, fear, cowardice, humility, despondency and laziness, and others.
Emotion Management Techniques
How to control your emotions? We often ask ourselves this question. Our attitude towards emotions is somewhat similar to our attitude towards old age, which, as Cicero said, everyone wants to achieve, and when they reach it, they blame it. The ability to resist stress and not give in to urges that are not consistent with the demands of the mind has always been considered the most important characteristic of human wisdom.
In order not to become a patient of the clinic of neuroses, it is necessary to be able to pull yourself together. But, unfortunately, many do not know how to learn to control their emotions. There are many methods for this.
Psychologists advise to start mastering the following methods:
- restrain yourself. It is necessary not to respond to provocations, not to respond to every boor. Before answering the offender, you should count to five. It is necessary to learn how to block emotions on the advice of psychologists: first we think, then we speak. We breathe calmly, speech is even. You can go out, drink a glass of water to calm down, think and respond adequately.
- self-hypnosis. This is the frequent pronunciation of certain phrases to yourself, for example, "I am calm", "I control myself." Esoteric method of self-hypnosis - for those who own energy techniques, enhancing courage and suppressing fear. Self-hypnosis can change negative emotions into positive ones.
- Switch or apply shock therapy. Not everyone can fight back against an opponent. Sometimes it's easier to switch your thoughts to the positive. For example, ask an unexpected question. There are many ways to control emotions. Use your imagination as a canvas, imagine your opponent singing a funny song or having a funny hat on their head. Mentally draw a high, strong wall around. Try to disconnect from reality for a while. In this case, the provocateur will not be able to evoke a response. The “cap” method helps especially well: if the opponent yells, insults, but there is no way to answer him, you need to imagine him under a dome or some other thing that can drown out the sound of his voice.
- Meditation. It helps to control not only your body, but also your spirit. Concentration techniques make it possible to develop a state of calm and relaxation, to understand yourself and consider your anger, to learn to let go of your negative emotions.
- Daily exercise. Sometimes accumulated negativity interferes with mastering oneself. To eliminate it, you can load your body with even the simplest exercises. Morning jogs, classes in sports clubs will help to put in order not only the body, but also the soul, and all the negativity will burn out in training. If you feel anger, just go in for sports, throw it out.
- Prayer. It is recommended to read a prayer not only before going to bed, but also in any free minute. If a believer feels that he is losing control, you need to close your eyes and read a prayer, ask God for strength, take away all the negativity and give patience, wisdom, goodwill. The main aspect is built on peace and tranquility.
- Yogic breathing pranayama. Prana is life energy, breath. Yama - control, control of feelings. The breathing technique, which is designed to learn how to manage your emotions, allows you to experience negative outbursts and gain inner peace. The strength of pranayama is that it affects both the general state of the body and the emotional sphere of a person.
In order to learn how to restrain yourself without showing a violent reaction to certain events, you need to know the basic rules of "emotional hygiene":
- You should try to get rid of financial problems as soon as possible. Having returned debts to friends, repaid loans, got rid of obligations, of course, the emotional state will not immediately become ideal. But since he is largely influenced by internal experiences, then, having got rid of at least financial problems, it will become much easier to control himself, calmness will appear.
- Make your home comfortable and cozy. No wonder they used to say: "My house is my fortress." It is here that there is a place for personal space, the opportunity to be alone or invite guests, while setting the tone for the conversation. The allocation of a separate zone for relaxation will become relevant.
- Strive to climb the corporate ladder. In a rush to fulfill oneself in work matters, a person has little time for emotional outbursts. And if everything works out, it goes like clockwork, then there is no negative at all.
- Determine the main goals in life for yourself and boldly move towards them. In general, an action is similar to a career, with the only difference being that it will suit a person who is less ambitious or who has already managed to realize himself.
- Expand your horizons, make new friends. New people, meetings, communication leave no room for negativity. And positive emotions do not need to be controlled at all.
Emotional control is an inseparable part of human development. The ability to restrain feelings also depends on the type of character (melancholic, choleric, etc.).
How to control your emotions - look at the video:
Negative emotions (anger, resentment) are often the cause of physical and psychological illnesses. Positive energy, in turn, can strengthen both the psychological and physical health of a person. People who are not able to control their emotions often fall into the so-called state of affect. And frequent stays in this state can lead to diseases such as schizophrenia.
In everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and the lack of self-control. emotions? How to "take over" your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.
What is self-control for?
Restraint and self-control is something that many people lack. This comes with time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that it is necessary and find agreement with your own "I".
Control over emotions does not allow aggravation of the conflict situation, allows you to find with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary for building relationships with people, whether business partners or relatives, children, lovers.
The impact of negative emotions on life
Disruptions and scandals, in which negative energy is released, adversely affect not only the people around, but also the instigator of conflict situations. your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.
Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of the individual and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate / communicate / live with a person who does not control himself and, at every opportunity, starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then soon he will leave her.
In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word spoken by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.
Negative emotions also have a big impact on business and work activities. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays an important role here: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure, they are required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to restrain emotions in the workplace? Do not respond to the provocations of employees, try to start a casual conversation, agree with the authorities in everything, even if the tasks set are difficult to accomplish.
Suppression of emotions
Constantly holding yourself back within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity in itself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. It is necessary to “splash out” the negative from time to time somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people do not suffer. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to the inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative quickly disappears.
For the release of negative energy, wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat are suitable. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relieved and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.
Two ways to keep your emotions in check:
- Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do it, but, of course, not in the truest sense of the word. At that moment, when you become uncomfortable from communicating with him, do mentally with this person whatever you want.
- Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the leaf and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.
Prevention
How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives such an answer to this question: in order to control one's feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words, emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.
Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way to control emotions. It does not require additional training of a person and the intervention of a specialist. Preventive measures allow you to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns for a long time.
The main thing that helps to get the better of your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence and adjust all this for himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventive rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.
Unfinished business and debt
Complete all the planned tasks in a short time, do not leave the work unfinished - this can cause a delay in deadlines, provoking negative emotions. Also, "tails" can be reproached, point out your incompetence.
In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from reaching your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity, helplessness in the face of the circumstances.
The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is a hindrance to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.
Cosiness
Create a comfortable workplace for yourself, equip your home according to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.
Time planning
Try to competently make plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have both time and resources for the implementation of the tasks set a little more than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with the constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.
Communication and workflow
Avoid contact with unpleasant people who waste your personal time. In particular, with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, as any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to control your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not overreact to criticism.
If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your place of work. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of peace of mind.
Border marking
Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line beyond which no one, even the closest person, should cross. Make a set of rules that restrict people from interacting with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who oppose the settings should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violation of your boundaries and the formation of conflict situations.
Physical activity and introspection
Playing sports will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Give sports from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.
At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you did the right thing in this or that situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether there was enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negativity. own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.
Positive emotions and prioritization
Develop the ability to switch from negative to positive emotions, try to see the positive side in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with relatives and strangers? Be positive, and this will help you defeat your own temper.
A well-chosen goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. Choose only realistic, achievable goals.
Environment
Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit in talking to them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you need to urgently change to switch to individuals who carry positive emotions. Of course, it is unrealistic to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.
In addition to changing the environment, expanding the circle of friends will help to achieve the development of self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.
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