Signs that you are chronically disrespected. How to make yourself respected? What if I'm not respected

Greetings, dear readers! Anything happens in life, a true friend betrays and abandons, and a complete stranger can be closer and dearer than everyone else. Today I would like to talk about what to do if friends do not respect you, understand the reasons for this behavior and decide what can be done about it. Finding a devoted, true friend is not as easy as it seems. But it is extremely important to have a close, reliable and faithful person nearby, who will not only help in difficult times, but also support in the most difficult task.

Friendship

What does it mean to be a true friend? It is difficult to give a specific definition, each person has his own individual understanding of friendship. Everyone can make a whole list of criteria for what a friend should do: wipe tears when it's bad; be next to; come even at night; get tangled up in history together.

But something unites us all - everyone has boundaries that a friend has no right to cross. There is a clear understanding of what is possible and what is not. I recommend that you pay attention to the book by Jen Yager " When Friendship Hurts. How to deal with friends who betray, abandon or hurt you". It will help you figure out what to do and how to be in a situation where a loved one has crossed these very boundaries.

We make our first friends at school, where friendship seems eternal to us. Classmates become very close, have fun with them, real girlfriends and friends appear, with whom you spend all your free time. But not every school friendship will stand the test of time and distance.

After school, college, then work, moving, and so on. And now you no longer meet so often, do not share all the details, awkwardness in communication appears, and then everything completely disappears.

It is important to learn to recognize the moment when friendship ceases to be such, and disrespect becomes the first sign.

How can it manifest itself on the part of a comrade? For example, when your friend has more important things to do than your problems. There is no such obligation for a friend to come running at the first call to you, everyone sets their own priorities. But when it comes to serious difficulties or events, and for a person a jumped-up pimple on his nose becomes an excuse, you can be sure that it's not a pimple. And in the absence of respect for your interests.

A true friend will sincerely rejoice at your victories and successes.

They say that friends are tested in trouble. In fact, the bigger test is your success. For envy has not been canceled. So, a true friend will sincerely rejoice for you, wish you even greater success and will never envy you.

Disrespect can manifest itself in communication when a person constantly interrupts you, can afford to be dismissively addressed, come up with an offensive nickname, miss an important meeting, and so on. Let's try to figure out what is the reason for this behavior.

Why is this happening

Why suddenly our close and dear person begins to allow himself liberties in communication? One of the reasons is that you yourself allowed such behavior in your address.

In one of my acquaintances there was a guy over whom everyone always mocked, made fun of, sometimes even very rudely. Although they were all bosom friends. He endured for a long time, but then gathered everyone together and expressed his dissatisfaction. To which he will receive a reasonable answer - you yourself have always supported our jokes about you. Look at your behavior, maybe you yourself allow friends to tease you?

Sometimes at work with colleagues there is a very friendly and pleasant atmosphere. It seems that you have already known each other for a thousand years and you have no closer people. But it's work. It is rare to meet a person in the office with whom a really strong and faithful connection will be established. Remember that at work you work first. Why is it advised not to do business with friends? Think about it.

A person may behave disrespectfully towards you because he does not consider you his friend. I often met one-sided friendship. When it's just beneficial for the other person to keep you closer to them. He is so comfortable and convenient to live, he can even use you for his own selfish purposes.

It's not always easy to realize that your friend is taking advantage of you. If you doubt the honesty and sincerity of your friend, then be sure to pay attention to the article "". In it you will find a lot of useful information about friends and loved ones.

How to deal with it

It may seem cruel to you, but unpleasant people must be disposed of quickly and decisively, like a band-aid. Took it off and moved on. You should not surround yourself with people who do not appreciate you, do not love and do not respect you. Learn to value yourself and don't let others disrespect you.

If you began to notice that your friend has recently stopped showing respect for you, then you can talk to him frankly. Do not be afraid to ask questions directly, to talk about your doubts. Perhaps your friend is going through a difficult period right now and needs your help. That is why you need each other. Together you need to understand what can be done to correct the situation.

One day my friend and I got into a big fight. It was a terrible period in my life. We stopped talking to her for a very long time. I was terribly uncomfortable and I decided to talk to her. We talked for a long time, it was hard for her and for me, but we managed to find out everything to the end. She said a lot, I explained everything. Now we continue to communicate and I can’t find a closer friend.

Do not be afraid of difficulties and obstacles. Any problem can be solved. If you are both ready, then you have every chance of success.

Take a close look at your communication. If even after a frank conversation, his behavior does not change towards you, he continues to be disrespectful, then think about saying goodbye to this person. You shouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior.

Every person deserves respect. You can safely demand it from others. But only if you treat them with respect. Don't forget about it.

If among your acquaintances you do not have relatives and relatives left, then my article "" will help you. Believe me, it's never too late to find a person who can become a family.

How long have you noticed this behavior of your comrades? How do you feel about your friends? How many real friends do you have? Are you a sociable person? Have you ever noticed jealousy or envy on the part of your comrades?

I'm sure you can get in touch.
Good luck to you!

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning.

My wife doesn't respect me! I have lost respect for my husband! In our relationship, respect for each other has disappeared ...- the family psychologist hears such complaints every day.

If you ask any person what they would like from a relationship with other people, I am sure that most often you will hear the word "respect".

What is respect and why is it

The need for respect for most people is among the top priorities. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, age and gender, we are very sensitive in everything that concerns respect.

Why? What gives us respect?

To answer this question, let's try to define respect. It is quite difficult to give a simple and understandable definition right off the bat, so let's try to construct this definition.

1. Respect is the attitude of one person(groups of people) to another person(group of people)

2. This relationship is based on mutual recognition of the merits of the personality of each of these people.(groups of people).

3. Recognition of the priority of their safety and non-harm: physical, psychological and moral.

4. Recognition of their fundamental rights to freedom, self-expression, religion, etc.

As can be seen from our definition, Respect is a whole complex of concepts that affects, oddly enough, our instinct for self-preservation!

Now it becomes clear why in personal relationships the problem of loss / restoration of respect becomes one of the central ones.

In order to understand what gives us respect, let's look at the diagram:

As can be seen from the diagram for men (highlighted in blue) and for women (highlighted in red), the priority qualities in the concept of "respect" are different things.

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning. Understanding these differences becomes especially important when we try to analyze what behaviors and actions inevitably lead to the loss of respect from him or her.

Before talking about the reasons for the disappearance of respect in relationships, let's think about how this concept is formed in a person in principle.

In order for a person to be able to respect others, he must have an appropriate upbringing based on mutual respect for men and women, children for parents, parents for children, as well as for other people. And one more important addition is this man must respect himself!

There is a very close relationship between self-respect and respect for others. Surely many people know the axiom that it is impossible to gain respect from others without respecting yourself. It is believed that a person's self-esteem is divided into two components:

emotional- how I feel about myself in terms of "good and evil", my assessment of myself as a "good" or "bad" person, and

rational- an indicator of my competence, professionalism, success. Note that both components that form self-esteem in men and women are different.

Consider the figure:

From the figure it becomes clear that we call respectful such an attitude towards us that strengthens or, at least, maintains our self-esteem.

Accordingly, "unfriendly" behavior that calls into question my competence or my self-esteem, I will regard as disrespectful. In relations between a man and a woman, respect is closely related to sex-role behavior, more precisely, with the expectation of a certain behavior.

Let's look at a simple example.

A man and a woman are driving in a car. Stopped.

The man got out of the car, opened the door on the woman's side and helped her out of the car.

The man showed respect to the lady (he helped to get out of the car), the woman showed respect to the man, waiting for him to come up to help out, thanked him, thereby showing that she was confident in his good manners.

Respect breeds respect.

Unfortunately, manifestations of disrespect begin with "little things", the most typical of them are: lack of elementary gratitude at the level of thanks", inattention, failure to fulfill one's promises, raising one's voice.

Of course, some will respond to this, and some will not. I'm sure you know the saying that "little lies breed big mistrust"? The same can be said for respect. small acts of disrespect grow into big problems over time.

Signs of chronic disrespect in men and women are shown in the following figure:

It is important to note that respect is lost not only when such behavior is manifested directly to this person, but also to his relatives, friends or colleagues.

My husband does not respect my mother! My wife does not respect my friends!

Periodically, at the reception, I have to hear how this or that client speaks about the loss of respect for his wife / husband due to her / his disrespectful attitude towards relatives or friends.

Indeed, we often associate ourselves with people close to us and tend to take on our own account what is not always directed directly at us.

Why is this happening?

Belonging to a group (and family, friends, colleagues - this is a group) gives us an additional sense of security and comfort, so the manifestation of disrespect for this "our" group automatically extends to us. In disconnected families, where there are no close emotional ties, this does not happen.

There are a number of behaviors that almost always cause a long-term(if not final) loss of respect.

They are well known, they are: betrayal (treason), humiliation, insult, lies, violence.

Regardless of gender, a person who encounters such manifestations on the part of a partner instantly loses respect for him. Restoring respect after such acts is unusually difficult. This is due to the fact that each of these acts deeply hurts the self-esteem of the injured person, hurts him. Pain and respect are incompatible.

A feature of respect is that it is much more difficult to earn it than to lose it. In this sense, respect as a concept is close to trust.

What to do if you feel a loss of respect for yourself from your loved ones?

Here is a simple step-by-step guide that can help regain lost respect.

1. Look at yourself.

Analyze your behavior as "possibly wrong" in relation to the person. Maybe you violated his "boundaries", doubted his value, or simply offended ...

Not everyone is able to openly and immediately declare a wrong attitude towards themselves. Unspoken hurts don't go anywhere.

Having admitted the wrongness of your behavior, do not rush to immediately ask for forgiveness, but rather try to understand why (?) you did this.

Without understanding the motives of your behavior, you run the risk of repeating it in the future. The next step in your analysis will be to find another way to act that will not be perceived by your partner as disrespectful.

2. Start a dialogue.

Tell your partner how important his respectful attitude is to you and how you feel when such an attitude is not. Don't make excuses or shift the blame from yourself to him.

Admit your mistakes by simply listing them. Recognize the right of a person to be offended by you and change their attitude towards you.

3. Ask for forgiveness.

It's forgiveness, not apology.

Not many people know that there are big differences between these two terms.

Apology is a more formal, secular term. Its essence boils down to asking to withdraw the apologetic from the "state of guilt". Forgiveness is a more personal term, not to say intimate - its essence is a request to accept repentance.

4. Take action.

Whether you've been forgiven or not, your awareness of your mistakes must be transformed into a new attitude and actions.

Remember that you first need to regain your respect for yourself and you are on the right track. published If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

Of course, you noticed that in terms of relations with others, there are two types of people: those who adorn any company, with whom it is interesting and fun, and those who have little respect for the people around him. Why is this happening and how to communicate so that you are respected? Start changing yourself instead of changing others, and then, over time, respect will come, and you will improve relationships with others.

If you want to feel full of vitality, emotionally stable and gain respect, you must first know yourself. Knowing yourself will help build relationships with others based on trust, love and respect, and common goals.

The beauty of the mind is surprising, the beauty of the soul is respect.

Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle

1. Learn to listen to others.

Wait for your turn to speak, do not limit the other person in their desire to communicate with you, do not interrupt him when he tells you something, even if you are not interested.

You can skillfully change the subject, but do not abruptly cut off the interlocutor in mid-sentence.

2. Make the person feel important.

Before talking about yourself, ask the interlocutor about his health, his needs and interests.

Remember that everyone likes to feel important and significant to someone. This will benefit him as well, and you will become more respected in his eyes.

3. Be honest with others, always tell the truth.

People don't like liars and those who don't tell the truth. People around respect honest and open people.

Honesty will allow you to gain trust, and in the eyes of others you will be an honest and respected person, and not a liar and a fraudster.

4. Be yourself.

If you want to earn the respect of others, it's time to take off your social masks and become who you are. Don't be afraid to be funny or stupid, you are who you are, real, not "fake".

People respect those who are sincere, and "fake" people are excluded from their social circle.

5. Do not resort to violence and manipulation of people.

Nobody likes to be manipulated and forced to do something against their will. If you want to rise in the eyes of others, do not resort to these "black" methods.

If you want something from another person, politely ask him for it, but in no case force him to do something for you.

6. In any confrontation, bring your arguments to the people calmly and with interest.

Nobody likes conflicts, try to avoid them and you. Be a diplomat, do not insult people, but calmly present your arguments to them.

So you will look more respected, and do not offend others.

7. Don't be a victim.

People don't like or respect those who complain a lot.

If you want to find respect, learn to steadfastly resist all obstacles and difficulties, be strong and self-confident, and then people are guaranteed to reach out to you.

8. Get close to people.

Try to communicate with people more often, sincerely say what you feel, think, what you want and what you expect from each other.

Establish with the people who surround you, the so-called "support circle", in which they will help you, and you help them in difficult times.

9. Nobody is perfect

We all have shortcomings and positive qualities, in combination of which, we become individual, unique, not like others.

Learn to take advantage of your positive qualities, develop, and, most importantly, moderate your shortcomings, work on them. And only then can you make yourself respected.

Your relationship with others depends only on you, remember this.

10. Love yourself.

How can you expect love from someone if you don't love yourself. Many people have a problem with this.

But in fact, everything is much simpler. You just need to accept and love yourself for who you are.

11. Become self-sufficient.

Anyone who is in dire need of social interaction and encouragement gets bored very quickly. On the other hand, those who are self-sufficient and do not fawn over others, remaining moderately inaccessible, are more popular. Get rid of the importunity, otherwise people will brush you off like mosquitoes.

Judge for yourself - we quickly get bored with what is a lot and what is cheap. Be like a good vintage wine - there is not much of it, but it is real and strong, and most importantly, it is expensive.

12. Act natural.

Would you sympathize, sincerely and closely communicate with a person who pretends to be God's dandelion or Zhigansky "macho", in a word, who he is not. All so cute, fluffy, but in fact smooth, cold and covered with scales? In a word, a werewolf in garlands. If everything is in order with your head, then most likely it is unlikely.

So stop pretending. Be yourself. With all its advantages and disadvantages, this is normal and everyone has them. The main thing is to use your strengths, and develop weaknesses. Remember that all great people became great because they worked hard at it.

13. Be confident in yourself, develop personal strength.

When others feel low self-esteem in a person, they usually try to find a company with more self-confidence. If people understand that you are self-confident and radiate personal strength, and at the same time are ready to support and help them, they will want to be around you. How to develop personal strength you can find on our website.

14. Be consistent and holistic.

Live by your own rules and ideals. In the meantime, do what you say. Your words must match your behavior and actions. Be sincere, express your opinion openly and diplomatically. These people are respected and listened to.

15. Get more charismatic!

To be charismatic means to realize and use one's own uniqueness, to share one's gifts and talents with others. Develop and apply personal strength and leadership. For this, there are special exercises and practices.

16. Be more positive, open and friendly.

If you want to be loved, love others yourself. Be polite, tactful and friendly to everyone. Develop interpersonal skills. Give more positivity. Be respectful and respectful to everyone around you, and even to your smaller brothers.

17. Watch your appearance.

Take care of your personal hygiene and the cleanliness of your clothes. Dress appropriately for the situation or occasion. Find your own style in clothes and appearance. If you respect yourself, care for yourself, and look after yourself, people will notice.

18. Surround yourself with things that make you happy.

Imagine that your body is like a sponge that absorbs everything around you. You can first fill yourself up before you start giving it to others. Therefore, do and surround yourself with what you really like and bring joy and pleasure.

19. Have fun and relax.

When you are in the company of people, be calm and confident. Let others around you see that you are relaxed and happy, and not stressed and upset.

20. Make your interlocutors feel comfortable with you.

Of course, it all depends on what is comfort for your interlocutor, and there are many nuances.

Put in the extra effort to make the other person feel special with you. Everyone wants to feel special when they are around others, so keep that in mind.

21. Don't judge others for their mistakes and you will be less judged.

22. Change yourself to see these changes in your environment and around the world.

One person can influence thousands of others with his transformation.

23. Be happy and make others happy so that life is beautiful for those around you too.

24. Try to be cheerful, humorous.

People love someone who can make them laugh heartily. However, be appropriate to the situation, sometimes you can do without humor, for example, when a person needs comfort.

25. If someone is crying, find out the reason for this, find out what happened, and how you could help him improve the situation.

26. Don't suck up to people if they give you hints to stay away from them.

There are many other people who will gladly appreciate your jokes.

27. Don't yell at people and stop telling them they're stupid and humiliating them if they don't understand something right away.

Be patient with everyone.

28. Don't put yourself first all the time.

Think of others, see how you can be helpful in their situations.

29. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

30. Please be honest.

Try to stop using lies in your communication with others.

31. Maintain inner calm at all times, trying to avoid provocation and quell conflicts without bringing everything to a fight.

It directly depends on your internal state.

32. Work through all your internal conflicts and fears, and you will see how you will be treated in a completely different way.

33. Respect yourself always.

Even if you are currently a good, benevolent and tactful person, do not let people sit on your neck.

34. Respect the freedom and space of others.

There are people who value their personal space, leave them alone if they pull away from you as soon as you approach them.

35. Some people just don't like anyone.

Don't let them influence your mood, even if these people still don't like you. There are still a lot of good people who can become your friends.

36. Stop being a sufferer.

If you are ready to love and respect yourself, then, of course, adequate people, not all, will love you and make you a happier person.

How to communicate so that you are respected in the team?

37. You should always look good.

They meet, as they say by clothes, only see off according to the mind. Therefore, everything is important - hair, shoes, makeup. At work, you should pack as carefully as you would for a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.

38. Try to be confident.

Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble and don't chatter. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!

This emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them.

If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And it will seem to the interlocutor that you are looking directly into the eyes.

40. Try to remember names.

Address immediately by name or patronymic name. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.

41. Be friendly and outgoing.

Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinion.

42. Do not allow yourself to be rude and rude.

Some people need to exercise to maintain a sense of confidence.

This bad habit ruined the life of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.

43. Take up more space.

An insecure person is betrayed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, trying not to disturb anyone, elbows pressed, legs crossed under the chair.

Remember how you behave in a pleasant society. And try to take the same postures.

44. Keep your posture, gesticulate less.

If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, the boss should look like the boss - seriously, personably and boldly.

45. Be sincere.

Even if in order to make the right impression you need to embellish something, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.

46. ​​Don't promise what you can't deliver.

Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can pass for a trepach.

In any workflow, there are times when your help may be needed. This is fine. But when helping colleagues, do not do it too emotionally.

Such a total surrender for some people may look like sycophancy. And to others, it may seem that you consider them to be incompetent workers or just stupid people. After all, only small children who can’t do anything are so happily helped.

47. Learn to tactfully refuse - so as not to offend a person

Indeed, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss has asked you to do. See also: How to learn to say "no" - learn to refuse correctly.

If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that what you think about them creates better working conditions for them. Show your care from the first working day!

48. Work hard.

If a newcomer is a lazy person, then the whole team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to be stressed out.

49. Keep learning.

Develop as a specialist, leader and just as a person. There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.

Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.

51. Don't gossip.

There are gossips in every team. You should not join them, but you should not wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose.

The best option is to listen to the person and leave under a valid pretext. In no case and with anyone not to discuss the news heard. After all, the ideal means of combating gossip is complete ignorance.

52. Participate in the collective life - this strengthens the collective.

If everyone is going to a restaurant, to the theater, to the cinema, go to the subbotnik with them.

53. Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible.

Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinion and way of thinking are valued everywhere.

54. Know how to rejoice in the success of other people. This emphasizes your kindness.

55. Accept criticism appropriately

It needs to be listened to, and if you do not agree to calmly express your opinion. But do not shout, do not get personal and do not be offended.

56. Accept people for who they are.

You should not impose your opinion, your own ways of solving problems and organizing working moments. Everyone decides for himself how to live and how to work.

57. Immediately determine who you report to

And follow the instructions of superior people only. Since in almost any team there are lovers to command newcomers.

58. Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply when talking.

59. Don't be a know-it-all. The first days of simplicity will not hurt.

60. Don't open up completely to your colleagues.

And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what kind of relationship with your husband and children.

Why take out dirty linen from the hut? There is a world in which there is no entrance to outsiders. Let colleagues know only about your marital status.

61. Do not engage in idle chatter in the workplace

The sad fact is that instead of completing tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. These employees are being fired as soon as possible. Neither bosses nor colleagues like them.

62. Do your job well

In any field of activity, experts in their field are the most respected. People love to give compliments to those who deserve them, such as those who always do a good job.

If you are new to the profession, this does not mean that you do not deserve respect. It's always hard to start.

This came with experience and the realization that one must not stop on the path of self-improvement and this will bring the respect of others. This cannot be achieved in one evening, but if you earn the respect of people, it will be for a long time.

63. Respect other people

Respect has two sides. If you want to be respected, you must first learn to respect others.

If you constantly encounter people who treat you with no respect, remember those whom you treated with no respect. In any case, at least one of these you will find.

Instead of resenting how bad people treat you, try to be nice to those you have treated badly. This will help you improve your relationships with everyone around you. When someone behaves badly towards me, I remember to whom I behaved in the same way, and then I try to build a relationship with this person. This leads to positive shifts in my relationships with others.

64. Keep promises

Nobody likes dishonest and unreliable people. Respect deserves the one who is honest with his interlocutors, whom you can rely on and whose promises you can trust. I believe that honesty is the first step to achieving your higher self.

I always think about whether I can keep a promise before I make it, and if I made one, I will definitely keep it. If for some reason you can't meet your commitments, be sure to find someone who can do it for you.

65. Accept criticism

Contrary to popular belief, being a respected person does not mean not being criticized. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite.

The more people who know you and your work, the more criticism you get. People respect those who can take a negative assessment and get something positive out of it.

66. Treat yourself with respect

It's funny, but many people expect to be respected by other people, but at the same time they do not respect themselves. Have you ever scolded yourself for no reason? Do you love yourself completely and unconditionally? Are you exhausting yourself with lack of sleep, poor nutrition, or something similar?

If you don't respect yourself, you can't count on other people's respect. Start by loving yourself. And after self-love comes the love of others.

67. Act Like a Pro

This includes dressing well, being well-mannered, speaking well, and following the rules of etiquette. If you do not know the rules of etiquette, you need to get acquainted with them. It will be useful to attend classes on the rules of etiquette, even if you have a vague idea of ​​what is taught there.

When I was a student, I attended several of these classes on the topics of wine tasting, table manners, first meeting behavior and much more. I believe they have been helpful to me. What is studied there is by no means higher mathematics and what is learned helps in practice when you know what can and cannot be done in a given situation.

68. Don't backbite

It does not matter in what field of activity - both in professional and social communication, do not speak badly about people. By slandering, you will not earn the respect of other people. If you have any complaints about a certain person or you do not like what he / she does, talk to this person.

Don't say bad things about him/her behind your back, because discussion behind your back will lead to further gossip and innuendo. Whether you realize it or not, it will not only make you look bad, but it will hurt that person. Be honest and open with the people you interact with.

69. Stand up for your beliefs

Have you met people who, without thinking, easily agree with everything they are told? I have come across such people, and in the end, their agreement ceases to have any meaning.

Personally, I have more respect for someone who (politely) disagrees and stands his ground than someone who always sings along.

Only having your own opinion and thinking with your own head, you can achieve the respect of the people around you. Don't be afraid to stand up for your beliefs. At the same time, make sure you do it politely and don't offend those around you.

70. Be yourself

It is always better to be the original of yourself than the exact likeness of someone else. People respect individuals who do not try to imitate anyone.

So many people try their best to be what they are not, and in the end they lose their own identity. Find yourself, understand who you are. The world needs people who are themselves, not clones of each other.

71. Be an example to others

Actions speak louder than words. Are you setting an example for others with your behavior? Are you following established standards of conduct? Do you earn respect by backing up words with deeds?

A person who is respected by other people, by his personal example, pushes others to good and right deeds.

Conclusion

If you have self-respect, there is a very good chance that you want others to treat you with respect. It is clear that age is not a prerequisite or a magic key that can open the chest with respect for others when communicating with them. It all depends on how you will behave, how you will treat others and what actions you will perform.

Respect is earned by deeds, not acquired over the years.
Frank Lloyd Wright

In this article, we looked at ways to become a person who is respected by the surrounding interlocutors when communicating with them. These tips are suitable for everyone, regardless of age and social status.

Irina Davydova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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New job, new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Employee respect doesn't come naturally. It is necessary to try so that the team accepts a newcomer - or, even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.

• The first rule is to always look good. They meet, as they say by clothes, only see off according to the mind. Therefore, everything is important - hair, shoes, makeup. At work, you should pack as carefully as you would for a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.

• Try to be confident. Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble and don't chatter. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!
• Make eye contact when talking to new colleagues - this emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them. If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And it will seem to the interlocutor that you are looking directly into the eyes.
• Try to remember names. Address immediately by name or patronymic name. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.

• Be friendly and sociable. Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinion.
• Do not allow yourself to be rude and rude. Some people need to be cheeky towards other people in order to maintain a sense of confidence. This bad habit ruined the life of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.
• Take up more space. An insecure person is betrayed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, trying not to disturb anyone, elbows pressed, legs crossed under the chair. Remember how you behave in a pleasant society. And try to take the same postures.
• Keep your posture, gesticulate less. If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, the boss should look like the boss - seriously, personably and boldly.

• Be sincere. Even if in order to make the right impression you need to embellish something, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
• Don't promise what you can't deliver. Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can pass for a trepach.
• In any workflow, there are times when your help may be needed. This is fine. But helping colleagues don't get too emotional . Such a total surrender for some people may look like sycophancy. And to others, it may seem that you consider them to be incompetent workers or just stupid people. After all, only small children who can’t do anything are so happily helped.
• Learn to tactfully refuse - so as not to offend a person. Indeed, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss has asked you to do. Read also:
• If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that what you think about them creates better working conditions for them. Show your care from the first working day!
• Work in good faith. If a newcomer is a lazy person, then the whole team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to be stressed out.

• Constantly learn, develop as a specialist, leader and just as a person . There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
• Explore in the early days - Look at the team. Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
• There are gossips in every team. You should not join them, but you should not wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose. The best option is to listen to the person and leave under a valid pretext. In no case and with anyone not to discuss the news heard. After all, the ideal means of combating gossip is complete ignorance.
• Participate in the collective life - it strengthens the team. If everyone is going to a restaurant, to the theater, to the cinema, go to the subbotnik with them.
• Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible . Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinion and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
• Learn to rejoice in other people's successes. This emphasizes your kindness.
• Take criticism appropriately . It needs to be listened to, and if you do not agree to calmly express your opinion. But do not shout, do not get personal and do not be offended.
• Accept people for who they are . You should not impose your opinion, your own ways of solving problems and organizing working moments. Everyone decides for himself how to live and how to work.
• Decide right away who you are. And follow the instructions of superior people only. Since in almost any team there are lovers to command newcomers.
• Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply.
• Do not build yourself a bore - a know-it-all. The first days of simplicity will not hurt.
• Do not open up completely to your colleagues. And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what kind of relationship with your husband and children. Why take out dirty linen from the hut? There is a world in which there is no entrance to outsiders. Let colleagues know only about your marital status.
• Do not engage in idle chatter in the workplace. The sad fact is that instead of completing tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. These employees are being fired as soon as possible. Neither bosses nor colleagues like them.

Always do your best work. Those who do everything carefully, check the details and do not shy away from duties command respect. And here it is not the length of service and professionalism that is important, but diligence and responsibility. In any team, they appreciate those who can do everything with high quality, on time. And this does not require much effort, it is only important to always understand what all this is for and what you want to get as a result.

Learn to accept complaints and criticism of your work. Perfect people do not exist, which means that tasks are not completed 100%. Very often there will be comments about the performance of tasks, and this does not apply to you, does not hurt you as a person, but only helps to improve. The ability to admit mistakes is a rare quality that characterizes a professional. And if you also correct them, then the effectiveness will increase, and this will definitely cause respect.

To be respected, always keep your promises. If you have taken up some business, do not quit it, do not refuse at the last moment. Know how to correctly calculate your time. Don't say you can help if you really can't. Also, do not let a person down without warning him that you will not be able to fulfill his plan. Circumstances may vary, call ahead if things don't add up.

Don't talk bad about other people, don't criticize them behind their backs, be honest. Backbiting, comparison and ridicule do not characterize a person from the good side. Try not to start such conversations yourself, and not to participate if others begin to do so. The less negativity you radiate, the better those around you perceive. Respect other people. If someone treats you disrespectfully, think about who you behaved the same way with? The world usually reflects what we ourselves contribute to it.

Respect is earned by a person who knows how to behave culturally in different situations, for example, during a dinner in a restaurant or a party at a disco. It's nice to communicate with a person who can keep up the conversation, has an idea about different areas of life. Pay attention to appearance, etiquette, ability to speak. All these qualities will help you earn respect, make you a very attractive person in the eyes of others.

Self respect

Never condemn yourself in front of other people. No need to make excuses and belittle your dignity. How can you respect a person if he does not treat himself with respect? Of course, you don’t need to go to extremes, don’t overpraise yourself, but don’t hide your strengths either. Treat yourself adequately, with a share of criticism, but do not speak out loud about what you are changing in yourself.