Bad advice: how not to go to school? Jokes - pictures, video jokes, funny stories and anecdotes Went to school what to say to the teacher.

The school bells rang, inviting fresh and energetic students after the holidays to the classes. However, the very first day in their native school raised the question for many schoolchildren, how not to go to school. And since entire generations puzzled over this issue, some experience has accumulated, used and annually replenished by descendants.

There is a way not to go to school

It's better to get away from school by misleading parents. But if whining, like, a headache, a stomach, etc. no longer works, then you can experiment with the temperature.
Method 1: you need to take a sugar cube, put one or two drops of medical iodine on it and eat it. Gives high guarantees that the temperature will actually rise.
Method 2: chew a piece of lead (3-4 cm long) from a regular pencil. If you are not afraid to clog the body, then you can try - it works.
Method 3, mechanical: clamp the tip of the thermometer with a cloth (you can use the corner from a pillowcase) and vigorously turn it around its axis. Here you have to be extremely careful, the temperature can jump so seriously that the ancestors will call an ambulance. Therefore, it is necessary to control the situation.
Method 4: hold your breath, in 5 minutes the temperature rises to 37 degrees. For the most zealous: do not stop breathing for 10 minutes, otherwise you will suffocate. For the strength of the effect, you can repeat the procedure periodically and the temperature will rise higher.
The psychological impact on the compassionate mother can also help in this situation, but acting talent is required.
It is necessary to make eyes, as the cat from Shrek could do and pitifully poke around, like “Mommy, can you sit at home today, so you don’t want to go anywhere?”. It works one hundred percent, but only for one day, then the experiment can lead to the opposite effect.
For advanced ones: you need to scan a medical certificate, then, using one of the programs, like ADOBE PHOTOSHOP, you need to edit it, having come up with a diagnosis, and that's it, you rest for a few days.
For the brave: you need to go to the doctor and portray high blood pressure. You need to start with complaints of headache and nausea. There they will definitely begin to measure the temperature and pressure, well, in order to find the reason. So, if you clench and unclench your fists strongly and quickly (only very strongly and very quickly), for 1-2 minutes, then the pressure will jump (for some, even under 140/90). And go home, beat the buckets!
For the impudent: in the evening you need to put your keys to the apartment in your mother's bag. In the morning, when she leaves for work, call her and, with panic in your voice, tell her that she took the keys away, but there are no spare ones anywhere. Mom is unlikely to return, so you can sleep peacefully.
In general, the ways how not to go to school enough, you see, one will work. But remember: "Learning is light, and not learning is darkness."

Children love to skip school - this is a generally recognized fact. But not always they manage to come up with good reasons for absenteeism. It’s better to play it safe and read how to cheat correctly so that they don’t figure it out. A responsible parent can be very insulting for absenteeism, but who needs it? What savvy schoolchildren did not come up with, skipping unloved school classes! The article describes the brightest and most reliable ways to beg your mom for an extra day off on a weekday!

What to tell mom not to go to school is a disease

• One of the common excuses for parents will be a sudden painful condition. You can really get sick, that is, think through the whole cunning plan in advance. Or, getting up early, try to visually worsen your situation by pale skin, weakness, and even fever. The latter is easy to do. They take a working thermometer, turn on a table lamp and hold it for some time under the light, at a small distance from the glass. Instead of a lamp, water or a battery is used, from the tap, but optimal for raising body temperature. It is about 38°C, but not higher. If you overdo it, then mom will call the doctor to the house, which in no time will reveal a shameful lie. Paleness of the skin is given with light makeup, namely by rubbing the powder on the cheeks or under the eyes. They rub their nose until redness and begin to sniff, as with a runny nose. It is also important to cough loudly and convincingly and lead a not very active bed life.
• If the decision to get sick came in a few days, then a good option is to run with your mouth open in the cold air or drink ice water, go outside with a wet head. In the summer it is easy to catch a sunstroke, being outside all day without a panama hat.
  Increase the temperature by doing 100 squats in a secluded place so that no one can see. Just before going to your parents, you should balance your breathing.

What to tell mom not to go to school - lessons canceled

You can rely on fate and say that there will be no classes at school. But this information is tritely checked by calling the teacher or the mother of a familiar student.

What to tell mom not to go to school - oversleep

Favorite type of walking, but not the most popular, because mothers always keep order in the house! It works when mom is very busy and does not have time for everything around.

What to tell mom not to go to school - going to the theater

Lie about going to the theatre. Like an appointment with the class near the school, vigorously collect things. Next, leave the house and turn around the corner, standing there for about 30 minutes, simulating the way to school and back. After returning home, tell your mother a story about being late, as a result, the school bus left without the main passenger!

What to tell mom not to go to school - toilet flooded

Lie about problems with the sewerage - the toilet broke and flooded, classes were sent home due to plumbing repairs.

What to tell mom not to go to school - batteries are not included

Suitable in the autumn-winter period, when the heating has not yet been turned on, and it is almost as cold in the rooms as on the street. To do this, supposedly go to school and return with the sad news of the end of classes.

What to tell mom not to go to school - stretching

Wrap an arm or leg with an elastic bandage and tell mom about the sprain in PE class. In this case, rest is provided for several days until the condition improves. If you have to go to the doctor, you need to jump on a healthy leg, carefully bending the damaged one. If there are problems with the hand, it is rewound and pressed against the body.

What to tell mom not to go to school - suspiciousness will help!

Self-hypnosis is excellent for those who have suspiciousness in their blood. The principle is this: in the evening before going to bed, think about the disease, about headaches, about something negative. And if a person is impressionable, then there is a high probability of waking up in the morning feeling unwell. And an additional plus will be in every possible way to show your poor condition on the eve of the decisive day.

Mom, after all, is also a person, and at her age, for sure, she also skipped school. Therefore, you can make cute, naive eyes and try to tell the truth, then you won’t have to lie and blush when the lie is revealed. Having a frank conversation with your parents explaining the situation is an easy way to get the opportunity to stay at home sometimes. But for this, it’s still worth rehearsing in front of a mirror and thinking over a bait text.

Probably, everyone in their school years had cases when they really didn’t want to go to school - or you didn’t prepare for the control. Or you should definitely be asked, but you are not kicked in the tooth, so the deuce is guaranteed. Or a showdown with the director is scheduled for today after your next fight or broken glass. There could be a million reasons. What excuses can you come up with for teachers and parents to avoid going to school?

Excuses for teachers

Excuse #1

In order not to go to the first 2-3 lessons, it is enough just to take a walk, and then go up to the teacher and say that he was undergoing medical examination at the clinic. Or went to see an endocrinologist at the Institute of Endocrinology. The name of the doctor's specialization must be intricate and unconventional, otherwise they will not believe it. Similarly, you can leave after the first lesson, saying that you need to go to an appointment with an endocrinologist.

Excuse #2

In this age of technology, every student has a mobile phone. After the first lesson, tell the teacher that mom called and asked to urgently pick up her younger sister (brother) from kindergarten, because she (he) has a high temperature. Mom cannot leave work, dad is also very busy, and grandmother lives in another city. Therefore, today you will look after a sick child.

Excuse #3

You hide your backpack at school, and when the lesson starts, you are loudly indignant and shout that the backpack with all the textbooks and notebooks is gone, and you guess where they could have hidden it. You leave to search and come to the end of the lesson. Don't forget to lightly soil your backpack to say you found it at the stadium or in the cleaners' back room. The main thing is to look very upset.

Excuse #4

Come with a bandaged finger (or fingers) and say that you knocked them out while playing basketball (volleyball). Broken fingers are very swollen and sore. Thus, you can not write for a whole week, but this will not save you from verbal answers.

Excuse #5

Sit all night at the computer. In the morning, your eyes will be red and swollen. Approach the teacher with a sad look and say that you feel very bad, your head hurts and your throat is tickling. Your appearance will be proof of that. If they send you to the first-aid post and it turns out that there is no temperature, then tell the nurse that your temperature rarely rises above 37, but you feel that you are getting sick.

Excuses for parents

💡 Excuse #1

The simplest and most convincing - you got sick. To really get sick, it is enough to wash your hair and stand on the balcony with wet hair until you freeze. You can also stand with bare feet. If you are too lazy to wash your hair, then it is enough to put on a wet T-shirt and spend 20-30 minutes on the street or balcony, especially in windy weather. But remember - only you are responsible for your health! Already at night you will have a sore throat and a runny nose, your temperature may even jump. However, you should not get sick before weekends or holidays, otherwise there is a chance to spend all your free time blowing your nose and swallowing medicine.

💉 Excuse #2

If you are really reluctant to get sick, then you can play a malaise. In the evening, refuse dinner, say that you do not feel well, and go to bed early. Get up in the morning with a sad look, go to the toilet and pretend to vomit. Say that you're sick, probably yesterday's pie from the cafeteria was stale. Guaranteed you won't be allowed into school that day. But we do not recommend portraying the same thing tomorrow - you run the risk of going to the hospital for an examination.

💊 Excuse #3

Feeling unwell can be portrayed by first washing your face with very hot water for a long time and rubbing your cheeks well with a hard towel. You come out of the bathroom with red, burning cheeks and report that your head hurts a lot. They make you take your temperature. You take a thermometer and rub its thin part (where the mercury is) on your pants. Or you apply to the battery. Just don't overdo it! See that the temperature is not more than 38, otherwise they will call an ambulance for you and the deception will be revealed, and even the scandal will come out.

Probably only the most boring and meticulous student has never skipped school. And even then, I probably wanted to lie in bed for a day or two, play on the computer, and not sit in uninteresting lessons. Loafers and completely irresponsible students simply leave home in the morning, but they never reach the educational institution. As a result, parents are called to school, the student is reprimanded and placed under special control. And only literate and smart children first learn how not to go to school, and then put the actions into practice. Of course, advice is harmful, which means you should use it very rarely, because it is not good to deceive your parents.

pretend to be sick

So, the easiest way to simulate the disease. What parent would force their sick child to go to school? If your mom and dad do not have a medical education, then just say that you have a sore throat, head, and a fever. This is one of the most effective ways to avoid going to school. At least a day, but you can stay at home. Just get ready for the fact that mom will solder you with milk and honey, make you sweat under the covers and forbid you to walk. And the next day, do not forget to say that you are better, otherwise the doctor will come to the house and discover the deception. You can also simulate toothache, nausea, and even vomiting. Most importantly, make a sad face to look believable.

Fool the teacher

If you have enough conscience, then you can try to deceive the teacher. For example, have your friend write a note from their parents. Or ask your older sister to call the class teacher. Let her tell you that you're sick. Another way to avoid going to school is to tell the teacher about the need to visit a doctor, such as a dentist. Turn on your imagination, but don't overdo it.

A great way to skip class is to oversleep. Put old batteries in your alarm, or change the time on your phone. It is difficult for schoolchildren to get up in the morning on their own, so they can easily oversleep. Only this way, how not to go to school, will help only if you are going on your own, and not with your mother's help.

Talk to parents

The best way to skip school for a day is to talk to your parents. Explain to them that you want to get some rest. If your mother is understanding, then she will allow you not to study. Just don't be rude. This method doesn't work very often. And do not forget to study well, so that parents allow such a diligent child to sometimes take a break from a boring school. But the next day you will have to decide what to wear to school. No one will allow you to miss school for two days in a row.

go study

And it is best not to deceive anyone and not miss classes. Knowledge will definitely be useful to you in the future, so you should not skip school. If you constantly have such thoughts: “I hate school, so that it burns down, etc.” You need the help of a psychologist. The problem needs to be eradicated, not run from it. If something is bothering you, talk to your parents, tell them everything. Let them help you so that you start going to school without hatred.

The most honest way is to just tell your mom: “I really don’t want to go to school, can I not go?”. Surprisingly, this method sometimes works. Mom loves her child and does not want him to suffer. As an adult, she understands that a person sometimes needs to be given a "bonus", so it is possible that she will meet you halfway. Let's make a reservation: this method works extremely rarely, so you need to test it no more than once a month.

A good interpretation of the previous option: agree in advance with your mother about a “bonus” day off. Ask yourself one extra day off a month, it is unlikely that a mother will refuse such a trifle to her child. The disadvantage of this method: parents are well aware that they will be able to blackmail you with this in the future, demanding obedience. Plus: you will know in advance that on such and such a day you can not go to school without “excuses”.

Not so fair ways

A good, effective way without compromising health: a room with keys. Take your keys and put them in your mom's bag. In the morning, mom leaves for work, and after 10 minutes you call her on the phone and start shouting: “Where are my keys? Why did you take my keys?" Mom digs through her purse and finds the keys, then calls you.

Further events can develop in two versions. If mom is a busy person, she will tell you to find spare keys. Of course, you won’t find them and you will calmly go to bed. In the event that mom's work schedule allows her to return, she will return and bring you the keys. So you can skip one or two, which is also good.

Totally dishonest ways.

A completely dishonest way is a classic simulation of the disease. All methods are good here: from the banal “headache” to a full-scale simulation of pneumonia with fever and redness. It is better to limit ourselves to "small simulation", since more complex methods involve the ingestion of various substances and drugs. Of course, if you want to go to the hospital instead of school and experience unforgettable moments during gastric lavage (from all sides), then you can swallow all sorts of filth. And we do not recommend doing this.

The temperature can be raised and quite harmless methods. For example, wrap a thermometer in the corner of a duvet cover or sheet and start blowing intensively there. The temperature inside the fabric will rise, and the thermometer will show the desired mark. After that, you can languidly lean back on the bed, put the thermometer under your arm and call your mother. One caveat: if the mother guesses that she is being deceived, trust will disappear forever, and it will be very difficult to establish contact with her in the future.