What is the name of empathy for another person. The essence of empathy

On the eve of summer, I want to use one funny example to tell you how you can understand another and make sympathy appropriate. There are many different definitions of empathy, empathy, empathy, inclusiveness, some overlap and I am already confused in them, so I will give examples.

When we talk with another person, we understand him as best we can, and we experience different emotions - we empathize, empathize. Psychotherapists have their own methods of listening - empathy, inclusion, presence. In both cases, there is one thing in common - we allow the other to influence us: emotionally, intellectually, and we respond in one way or another. Sometimes the emotions of another person are so strong that when we look at bodily manifestations or hear emotional sounds, we react to them instantly and uncontrollably. Once, on the platform at the Belorussky railway station, I saw my grandmother get out of the train, and the little grandson did not have time, the driver closed the doors. I heard a groan - the boy's face was contorted with despair. Instantly, I felt chest pain. it empathy... The ability is explained by the work of mirror neurons. Developed in different ways.

Sometimes a person's emotions are not so strongly expressed, but we hear his story and also feel something - sympathize... We remember the words from childhood: "And you put yourself in his place!" or “Would you like to be caught like a beetle and not allowed to visit your mother ?!”. So the closest relatives tried to move us from the childish egocentric position. Teach us to mentally move ourselves into the situation of another person and feel something, so that we are kinder and socialized.

Today I propose to take one more step (who has not done it yet) and learn what psychotherapists can do ( inclusiveness). Before sympathizing, they try to understand the other. Let me explain why this is needed with an example. When a client of mine was young, his mother died. At a crowded funeral, friends of parents and distant relatives approached him and sobbed into their generous breasts, saying: "Poor child, how hard it is to lose a mother!" The child thought at that moment the following: “My mother is no longer there, I can't believe it, who are all these people, because MY mother is dead, why am I not crying, but they are crying as if their mother died, probably I I don’t understand something, I’m crazy, I’m a stranger here ”. As a result, the effect of sympathy was exactly the opposite, because women did not take into account the fact that people are different, and the same event has different meanings, and is experienced in different ways.

To try to understand another, it is necessary to mentally delay the transformation, not to put on his shoes, stay in your own and ask: "How are you?" And if there is an opportunity, ask about how a person sees the situation, what it means to him, try to model his image of the world.

In the textbook by J. Godefroy "What is Psychology" there is a wonderful comic example. We trained on beetles, but we will practice on ticks. Read the text.

She climbs bush branches, finding her way through the sensitivity of her skin to light, and waits until a “victim” appears, which she identifies by the smell emanating from the sebaceous glands of mammals. When the female finds that the source of this smell is within her reach, she falls. She has a very developed feeling of temperature, and if she lands on something warm, then she, without wasting time, begins to search for an area without wool with the help of her sense of touch. There she pushes her head into the fabric to suck the blood, and when she gets drunk, she falls to the ground, lays her eggs and dies. If during the first jump from the bush she misses and hits something cold, she has no choice but to climb the branch again and wait (if necessary - up to 18 years) under conditions of complete starvation. This is the true life of a tick ...

Exercise 1

So, to visualize the world of the tick, close your eyes, plug your ears, and leave your nose and sensations on your skin. Further mentally, here you are fertilized, you need blood, feel the branches of a bush, determine whether you climb down or up by whether there is a sensation on the skin that becomes lighter. Climbed in, sit, don't think anything, turn on your nose and wait. Does it smell? Guess the moment and fall down into the darkness.

Coldly? Look for a branch, feel the light, crawl up, sit on the branch, sniff. They say you also have a shaking reflex - let go of your paws and fall.

Come back to yourself, remember who you are. If the exercise worked, the tick may seem a little cuter than before. There is a solemn feeling of touching someone else's inner world. And here is an example of getting up in place of a tick and sympathy.

Exercise 2

Poor woman! She gave the man pleasure, and now the pregnant woman has to climb on the branch. Where is this daddy now? He sees nothing, he crawls by touch, probably hard. She sits hungry, lonely, waits, rains are pouring over her, the sun is baking. And you have to drink blood, bue. Eats once in a lifetime, and even dies at once in the prime of life. It would be better if no one came longer, would have lived longer. But on the other hand, respect for willpower is a selfless mother. Wait so long to feed the kids. It’s probably a shame to miss, I would be upset, and I also thought whether to climb up another time, or it’s all in vain. And she climbs and waits - a real hero! 🙂

And in conclusion, such an example. I have a friend, he wears glasses, and just recently, when he took them off and began to wipe them, I asked what his vision was, it turned out that -7. Then it dawned on me:

- What do you see now?
- I see you in the blair.
- Do you see pimples?
- No.
- And wrinkles?
- No.
- Cool. I feel like a beauty.

Well, a solemn feeling and all the work. 🙂

Empathy Is emotional empathy for another person. It manifests itself in the form of one person's response to the feelings and states of another. Through emotional response, people learn about the inner state of others. Empathy is based on the ability to correctly imagine what is happening with the inner world of another person, what he is experiencing, how he evaluates the surrounding reality. It is almost always interpreted not only as an active assessment by the subject of the experiences and feelings of a knowing person, but also, of course, as a positive attitude towards a partner.

Sometimes empathy is identified not only with empathy, empathy, but also with sympathy. This is not entirely true, since you can understand the emotional state of another person, but not treat him with sympathy. Having a good understanding of the views and the associated feelings of other people that he does not like, a person often acts contrary to them. Some sellers in our country, perfectly understanding the emotional state of buyers, use this to their advantage and to their detriment. People, whom we call manipulators, very often have a well-developed empathy and skillfully use it for their own, often selfish, purposes.

A person is able to understand the meaning of the experiences of another because he himself once experienced the same emotional states. However, if he has never experienced such feelings, then it is much more difficult for him to comprehend their meaning. If people have never experienced affect, depression or apathy, then they most likely will not understand what others are experiencing in this state, although they may have some idea of ​​such phenomena. To comprehend the true meaning of the feelings of another, it is not enough to have knowledge. Personal experience is also required. Therefore, empathy as the ability to understand the emotional state of another person develops in the process of life and in older people it can be more pronounced.

It is quite natural that close people empathy towards each other is more developed than people who have known each other relatively recently. People from different cultures may have little empathy for each other. At the same time, there are people who have special insight and are able to understand the experiences of another person, even if he seeks to carefully hide them. There are some types of professional activities that require developed empathy, for example, medical practice, teaching, theater. Almost any professional activity in the field of "person - person" requires the development of this mechanism of perception.

It is also believed that women are more empathic than men. This is most clearly manifested in their tendency to more demonstratively express their understanding of the other and empathy. Empathy can be learned. The experience of men who work with people - psychotherapists, psychologists, etc. - shows that, as a result of training and practice, they achieve a high capacity for empathy and its expression. Anyone can achieve this with the desire and the necessary training.

As a phenomenon of interpersonal contact, empathy directly regulates, first, interaction, and then stable interpersonal relationships of people and determines the moral qualities of a person. In the process of empathic interaction, a system of values ​​is formed, which further determines the behavior of the individual in relation to other people.

The expressiveness of empathy and its form (sympathy, empathy) depend both on the natural characteristics of the personality, for example, talent, and on the conditions of upbringing, the life of a person, and his emotional experience. Empathy arises and is formed in interaction, communication. This process is based on the mechanism of conscious or unconscious identification. The latter, in turn, is the result of the action of a more fundamental feature of a person - the ability to compare oneself, one's personality, behavior, state with other people.

When analyzing empathy, Western psychologists emphasize two points.

• 1. A positive attitude towards another means the recognition of this person's personality in its integrity. At the same time, such an attitude does not exclude the subject's negative reaction to the fact that his partner in interaction and communication is experiencing and feeling at the moment.
• 2. Experiencing empathy in relation to another, a person can remain emotionally neutral: to live for some time, as it were, in the world of the experiences and feelings of other people, without expressing either a positive or negative attitude towards them.

However, the experiments carried out by representatives of Russian science in the field of knowledge of each other by people have proved that the subjects always, to one degree or another, show their feelings for the person being assessed. And this is not surprising. The results of research in our country confirm the position of the unity of consciousness and experience inherent in the human psyche: the reflection of reality is always refracted through an affective attitude towards it (Bodalev A.A., 1995).

The emotional form of empathy, as a rule, arises with the direct perception of the experiences of another person and in a situation of his unhappiness is experienced as pity, sadness, compassion.

An empathic experience can be with any sign of the subject's emotional state (positive - joy, satisfaction; negative - sadness, dissatisfaction). It is quite logical that when experiencing satisfaction, joy, a person does not so badly need an emotional or effective response, as in the case when he is experiencing trouble. Cognitive empathy of other people, especially emotional and behavioral, allows him to cope with difficult experiences.

The closer the bonds between people (eg friends, spouses), the more empathy is possible between them. Moreover, the form also depends on the type of interpersonal relationship. If cognitive and emotional empathy is possible in any type of relationship, even between strangers, then behavioral, effective is characteristic of loved ones. Naturally, effective empathy is inherent in a humane person in principle, but in close relationships it is most obvious.

Empathy is a socially positive quality of a person, it is supported by social norms of life, but it can have an individual, selective character, when it responds to the experience of not any other person, but only a significant one. In this regard, it becomes quite obvious and the fact that in the presence of interpersonal attractiveness, one can expect a large amount of empathy in all three of its forms.

Each of us is more or less inclined to empathize with others. It is not surprising that we seek to somehow alleviate the pain of another person if we see that he or she is really suffering emotionally as a result of some kind of destructive event. However, there is a significant difference between empathizing with the problems of others and empathizing with those problems. Empathizing, we treat the problems of a person with understanding, strive to help and try to do everything possible in our power. In addition, empathy implies the ability to feel the inner state of another person, figuratively speaking, put yourself in his place and see the problem through his eyes. Therefore, in order to really help someone, sympathy is not enough, you still need to empathize with his problems along with him.
However, how do you do it right? How to express your desire to help so as not to offend a person's feelings? What exactly should we say? Should we just limit ourselves to the words "I'm so sorry ..." or "I sympathize with you" and leave the person alone with their feelings, or should we do something more?
Empathy and empathy are not synonymous, although people often use them interchangeably. When you empathize with someone, you feel the situation they are in. You understand this. It is a mental process that requires certain emotions. Not surprisingly, this is a skill that is not innate, but acquired with age and maturity. And empathy does not require any knowledge or emotional sense of connection and largely depends on the brightness of mental perception. This is why even a dog or cat can sense when you are sad and try to cuddle you in every possible way to distract from sad thoughts. Even animals are capable of empathy, but only humans can empathize.
Even movie characters can inspire our sympathy. You may feel empathy for someone whose life experience is completely foreign to you. And you can empathize with a person only if in your life you have already encountered something similar to a situation because of which he suffers.
American psychologist T. Singer argues that empathy and empathy should be considered as separate processes, in particular, because each of them depends on different neurons and separate parts of the brain.
Even babies can show empathy. Scientists have found that the "contagious" crying of newborn babies in maternity hospitals is explained by this very emotion. When one baby cries out of fear, hunger or pain, others begin to echo it. Young children, whose intelligence is not yet fully developed, are already able to show empathy. Thus, it can be argued that the ability to feel compassion for others is inherent in us by nature itself. But the ability to empathize appears in a person after gaining life experience, various life situations. As one wonderful psychologist put it, empathy is the ability to feel someone else's pain. Therefore, develop these abilities in yourself, help others when they are going through difficult times, because it is this quality that makes us human.

Empaths are deeply sensitive people who seem to be attuned to the emotions and energies of those around them. They can easily take on the emotions of others, take them as their own. This can be a problem when they absorb the pain and stress of others. Psychologists were able to answer the question of why empathy is harmful (and sometimes dangerous) for the person who possesses it.

Who is an empath?

You may have heard the term empath before. But what does this actually mean? Is there a scientific basis? Or is it, as some skeptics claim, just a word used to describe highly sensitive and intuitive people? Even the most die-hard skeptics cannot deny that there are people in this world who are incredibly sensitive to the needs and emotions of others, they seem to have a natural talent for healing others.

The idea of ​​feeling what others are feeling is not anti-scientific. Research shows that "emotional infection," the tendency to "catch" the feelings of others, is more common than we think. For centuries, researchers have studied the tendency of people to unconsciously and automatically mimic the emotional expressions of others, and in many cases actually feel the same feelings. Scientists say that when someone frowns or smiles, reactions occur in our brains that make us interpret these expressions as our own feelings. Simply put, as a species, we are innately vulnerable to catching other people's emotions. In the literature, this process in which a person or group influences the emotions and affective behavior of another person or group through the conscious or unconscious induction of emotions is called emotional infection.

Are there many empaths in the world?

While most of us have the ability to empathize, Dr. Elaine Eiron found that highly sensitive people make up approximately 15-20% of the population. They have a hypersensitive nervous system and seem to have an expanded empathy skill set. It can be argued that they have a better developed mirror neural system. There is a great deal of overlap between what it means to be a very sensitive person and what society calls an "empath."

The reason for empathy

What we call empathy does exist, but how these abilities arise can shock you. While it is true that some people are born sensitive, many empaths acquire their abilities in early childhood. For example, when a person is traumatized as a child, they learn adaptation and coping strategies that many other children do not. These coping mechanisms can be used to serve the world.

The dark side of empathy

Much of what we know about empathy is positive. But there is also a dark side to this unique phenomenon that is almost never discussed. The fact is that empaths simply have to learn how to manage their power and trust their inner voice in order to properly use the magic that rightfully belongs to them.

Here's the proof that empathy is downright harmful to people!

Empaths can't deal with their own emotions

They get tired quickly

Because of the incredible amount of information that empaths have to deal with, they often feel overwhelmed. Attempts to comprehend what is happening turn into fatigue and frustration.

They are used

Toxic people are crazy about empaths: relationships with them can be a great breeding ground. These amazing people are also "hunted" by narcissists, because they know that they have plenty of energy and resources to satisfy all their needs.

Plus, keep in mind that empaths are incredibly gullible people. They are kind, always ready to help, they are characterized by generosity. This is used by people who are not burdened with conscience. At the same time, as soon as the empath learns that he was deceived, he falls into a real depression.

They tend to neglect themselves and their feelings.

From an early age, empaths are accustomed not to receive, but to give. It is for this reason that they often forget about themselves, neglect their own well-being. This applies not only to mental well-being, but also to physical well-being.

They have a hard time building love relationships.

The world around us is incredibly cruel, and empaths are just as sensitive. This becomes the reason that they are not able to build healthy relationships with members of the opposite sex. They are too susceptible to everything that surrounds them, they very often have problems with trust. Empaths try not to reveal their heart, because they fear that whoever they let too close will hurt them. In addition, they feel that they are unable to cope with love or passion.

They are under constant stress.

Empaths are real emotional detectives. Not only can they read the energy of a room when they first enter it, they are also tuned in to the smallest changes in facial expression, tone of voice. They always notice how someone's body language does not correspond to verbal manifestations. Of course, this may seem very interesting, but we must not forget that almost all of these sensitive people had to learn how to survive literally in a war zone in childhood. This means that they had to catch subtle signs, even the smallest changes in their environment, in order to survive. They had to find out the exact tone of voice that indicated that the Pope was furious in order to somehow avoid it; they had to cringe when their mom was about to hit them.

They have tremendous power, but they usually don't know how to wield it.

Empaths are like finely tuned tools: they are sharp in their intuition, in their ability to make things happen, and in their knowledge. These people are capable of much, however, on one condition. Initially, they need to let go of self-destructive neuroses, abandon depressive moods. As soon as this happens, the person-empath will receive the fulfillment of his most important desires: gratitude and love will come to them!

More often than not, however, empaths simply don't know what to do with their gift. Usually these people experience self-doubt, powerlessness. Ultimately, their abilities are the result of a lifelong social disability. From an early age, they learn that their talents are not welcomed, especially by offenders and oppressors.

How to keep emotions under control?

Psychologists say empaths need to find a constructive outlet for emotions and a path to their own healing. How to master your own senses? Experts recommend art therapy, emotion journaling, exercise and, of course, consultation with a specialist. This is the only way empaths can express themselves, gain control over their emotions, and stop feeling drained.

Empathy, empathy

If empathy is a familiar enough word for a modern reader, then the term empathy - the ability to see the world through the eyes of another - is just beginning to appear in the pages of works on philosophy and psychology. In his article "Empathy, Humanity, and Animal Welfare," Dr. Michael W. Fox analyzes concepts such as empathy, empathy and empathy.

Empathies give various definitions: merging in thoughts and feelings with another being, the ability to enter another personality or penetrate into the consciousness of another being. Empathy and empathy are different phenomena. Empathy with someone of his emotions, especially grief, suffering, includes compassion, pity. Empathy is a word that comes from a Greek term meaning tenderness and a later German word meaning feelings for something. Empathy implies the ability to understand and mentally penetrate another being. While both of these concepts - empathy and empathy - are not mutually exclusive, empathy implies a more objective understanding of the other being. Empathy is more subjective, it is an intuitive insight into the feelings of another being and a response to his emotions.

Empathy for an animal as a purely subjective feeling, not supported by an objective understanding of the animal's behavior and its needs, can lead to erroneous conclusions about what the animal is feeling. Empathy includes both understanding the nature of the animal and compassion for it.

Lack of empathy dehumanizes a person, turning the world into separate objects that have no connection with us. When we understand the rational and emotional aspects of the behavior of living beings and experience an emotional feeling for them, it becomes possible to mature, rational and empathic love for other beings, understanding them, filled with responsibility.

There is an opinion that the subjective world of animals cannot be objectively evaluated, and therefore it does not exist at all. In this case, empathy turns out to be meaningless, since animals have no emotions and are guided by subconscious instincts. This perception of the animal as a machine got the name Cartesianism back in the 17th century - after the philosopher Rene Descartes.

The capacity for empathy can be innate, and it depends to a large extent on the relationship with the parents. Empathic understanding of the child by the parents, support of the child during his anxiety, suffering, his sense of connection with the parents have a tremendous impact on the child's subsequent ability to love and empathize.

In modern society, men tend to be more cruel to animals, or justify such cruelty, because they are less empathic than women when they encounter helpless or suffering creatures. Greater inner anxiety, less empathy, and a greater need to dominate may be rooted in the soul of the boy-child as a result of his greater loneliness and insecurity, his separation from his mother at an early age. These experiences are less pronounced in girls because they identify more with their mother.

Such defensive ideologies as the ideology of patriarchy, Cartesianism, Machism, perhaps, are a defensive reaction of an unprotected male personality.

The moral side of the relationship between man and animals in modern industrial civilization is very flawed and is characterized by a lack of respect for life in general. In order to justify the exploitation of animals in biomedical research, in agriculture, the exploitation of wild animals as raw materials, it is necessary to use such concepts as human domination over wildlife, the lack of rights in animals, and the ability to suffer. Therefore, modern culture often denies empathy, compassion and a sense of responsibility towards animals. The loss of the ability to perceive other people's suffering is a natural defense mechanism of a person who has to hurt animals.

There are other reasons that empathy towards animals is not fully developed now and animals are treated cruelly: there is a lack of objective, scientific knowledge about the behavioral characteristics and emotions of animals, about the subjective world of animals; people working in agriculture, in a scientific experiment, as a rule, have little training in ethology.

Many people find themselves in a morally difficult, paradoxical situation: peasants who first raise livestock and then have to slaughter them; animal shelter staff who care for animals but are ultimately forced to kill them; biomedical experimenters who first take care of animals, then make them suffer, and finally kill and dissect them; doctors and nurses who care for hopeless patients in the knowledge that they will soon die.

By trying to protect themselves from their own feelings, justify the exploitation of animals and reduce their feelings of guilt towards them, people rationalize their attitude towards animals. A person often uses a special terminology that separates, removes from him the object of exploitation, for example, women are called objects of sex, patients are called a medical history, animals are called trophies, a research model, etc.

M. Fox writes: “We differ from animals in the degree to which we possess certain qualities, but this difference is not fundamental: we do not possess anything that animals do not have. ethics, ignore our resemblance to animals.The only difference between man and animals is that man has the ability of self-contemplation, creative imagination and verbal expression of his thoughts, feelings. This ability to understand and feel reaches its highest expression when the will is consciously motivated by the subjective the power of love and is guided by the objective power of knowledge.Knowledge used without love is limited and destructive, just like love, which is used blindly.Empathy, which is a synthesis of love and compassionate understanding of others (a quality that other animals have) is the very essence human being. "

Neither laws nor a code of ethics can force humans to empathize with animals. Being humane is a property of the heart and mind, not just obeying the laws.

Michael Fox further writes: "Empathy is a bridge to unconditional love, which means a world without personal interests and without prejudice. We live in different worlds - objective and subjective. As animals, we live in our collective world and, as intelligent beings , we stand apart from the world and evaluate it rationally and objectively. These two worlds must merge into one, which includes us, animals, and nature. To change the world, we must become one with the world in peace and harmony. And since the world comes from the inside, we must first see it ourselves, from the inside, before we start changing the world. And for that we need empathy. "