Choking tears what to do. How to hold back tears when you want to cry? How to learn to hold back tears and emotions from resentment, when talking, in a difficult situation? Children's tears: how to deal with them

Tears are an expression of emotions, both positive and negative. But, if you rarely have to cry with happiness, then there are plenty of reasons to cry heartily over unpleasant trifles and serious disappointments in the life of every person. But how to stop crying, especially because of the nonsense that spoils the mood every day? And how to make the mood smooth in combination with positive emotions?

Crying, like other emotions, can be learned to control.

Why are we crying

If we discard physiological causes, then pure psychology remains. According to studies, it takes many people almost half a lifetime to wipe away tears. The violent expression of emotions, the inability to control oneself, as well as numerous mental throwing can cause a stream of tears, especially if a person is naturally too sensitive. Among the main causes of crying are the following:

• jealousy;
• resentment or criticism;
• crying as a reaction to someone shouting at you;
• tears for a dead person;
• parting with someone dear;
• stress;
• fears.

Each of these cases is understandable, and there is hardly a person who has never cried for at least one of the above reasons. But how to stop crying for any reason? And when is it not only possible to cry, but also necessary?

Tears for good and for harm

Many psychologists are of the opinion that crying is very useful in some situations. If too much negativity has accumulated, then crying out is a better option than holding back emotions in yourself. Experts believe that the accumulation of negative energy can adversely affect both health and mental balance. That is why it is not worth holding back what needs to be splashed out - cry if the soul requires it.

It is believed that tears can even prolong life, and perhaps for this reason, women, who, due to the peculiarities of the nervous system, cry more often than men, live longer.

As for harm, crying in itself does not have destructive power, but a prolonged whining state can develop into depression, an unwillingness to live and a departure from reality. In such situations, it is most useful to cry not alone, but next to a person who is able to support and help calm down.

Women cry more than men

General Self-Help Techniques

One of the main rules is the right way of life, in which the nervous system is strengthened, and events are not perceived as a universal tragedy. It is imperative to get enough sleep, rationally spend your energy, avoid stress as much as possible, and also observe the regime of work and rest. In order for tears to visit you as rarely as possible, try to think positively, developing a simple rule in yourself: find something positive in every day.

1. If you feel like crying because of a lost umbrella or a harsh word about you, try to shift your thoughts in a more pleasant direction and think about what good you managed to do recently.
2. Give yourself small gifts. Even if you're on a diet, treat yourself to a small cake or treat that will make you feel happy and relaxed. This will help to cope with a whiny mood and make "sunny weather" in the shower.
3. Perfectly helps to cope with tearfulness, a favorite pastime. Let it be listening to good music or watching a funny movie. Such simple little things will help improve mood, overcome stress and cope with the desire to cry.
4. In many situations, meditation helps a lot. It not only relieves the state of tension, but also gives you the opportunity to listen to yourself and understand what exactly is bothering you. Tears for any reason will stop tormenting you when you realize why they appear and how to stop crying, even if you are hurt and offended.

Small gifts are great to cheer up

How not to cry over trifles

Having received your portion of relaxation after a stream of tears, you should think about how to calm down and stop crying. To do this, you need to understand the cause and try to eliminate it. If you notice that you are greatly upset by the little things and think about how to stop crying over trifles, listen to the advice of psychologists who will help with such a problem. First of all, it is worth understanding that there are no unsolvable situations, and it is necessary to take steps towards solving this or that issue. Not worth:

• take criticism to heart, whether it be remarks about your appearance, or abilities, or intelligence, etc .;
• always focus on the opinions of others who are very difficult to please;
• delve into yourself and look for flaws;
• accumulate unnecessary grievances;
• notice the little things that are not worth even a short-term grief;
• dramatize trifling situations and engage in self-discipline.

Tears in serious cases

If the reasons are clear to you, and they do not relate to everyday trifles, causing you to cry, you need to get to the core of the problem and try to work it out.

Tears due to jealousy

Very often, a girl has to cry because every time she is jealous of her boyfriend for another. In this case, help can come exclusively from itself. If there is no reason to be jealous, then you need to work on your self-esteem, as well as learn to trust a loved one.

If the guy is really in no hurry to demonstrate fidelity, psychologists recommend simply ending such a relationship, because of which you are constantly nervous.

Crying because of criticism or shouting

The main reason for such a reaction to a provocation from another person lies in the strongest self-doubt. A person who knows his own worth does not wonder how to calm down and not cry if you are criticized or shouted at. In this case, a kind of shield simply works for a person, with which he hides himself from arrows thrown by a critic shouting at him.

It is also important to be able to constructively perceive comments, if they are fair.

Experts recommend leaving the room if they suddenly start yelling at you. In addition, you should never react to this with a cry or tears - it is better to take a deep breath and switch yourself and your thoughts to something else, more positive.

Criticism makes insecure people cry

Tears for the mistakes of the past

Many have probably noticed that some events from the past are sure to put a heavy burden on the heart. It seems that if at one time or another he acted differently or found other words, everything would be much better now. From such thoughts, tears and a feeling of bitterness are sure to arise.

But how to stop crying in this case? The main rule is to stop plunging into the past and start living here and now.

The situation may require elaboration, but you can’t feel sorry or eat yourself, smearing tears on your cheeks. If it is possible to correct mistakes, it is worth trying to do this at least for the sake of your own peace of mind, but if this is irreparable, the best option is to stop feeling sad about the past after what you have experienced. Learning to bury memories is the best thing you can do in this situation if you cannot influence events.

Tears due to death or separation

If your tears are for a deceased relative: mother, father, son, daughter, then standard advice is unlikely to be useful here. As a rule, time is the main healer, but even in this difficult case, you can gradually direct yourself to the path of restoring peace of mind.

How to stop crying all the time if you broke up with your lover? Psychologists recommend not scrolling through your head the memories of how good you were together, how nice you spent time, etc.

A mistake is also the feeling of one's own guilt, which is often felt by an abandoned person. It seems to him that he has too many shortcomings and, if not for this or that act, he would not have been abandoned. You should also not look at joint photos or follow on social networks the events taking place in the life of your ex-partner. It has been proven that you are certainly nervous if you see that the ex-lover is doing well, and you were easily exchanged for another or another. The vector of relationships is always an unpredictable thing, but you should not fall into despair because of this.

Breakups often bring unwarranted guilt.

Tears for stress

Stressful situations are often fertile ground for stress. An unresolved problem, a protracted conflict, troubles at work and in personal life - all this will certainly give rise to emotional stress, which often seeks a way out. Most often, stress becomes one of the causes of tears, which give relaxation. To get yourself out of such situations, you need to seek support from either a loved one or a psychologist and outline strategies for dealing with the difficulty that has arisen. As soon as the provoking factor is eliminated, tears will stop disturbing the person. Sometimes it is not possible to completely get rid of stressful situations, but then experts recommend learning to be distracted from everything and relax with the help of meditation or special psycho-trainings.

Dealing with children's tears

If an adult man or woman still somehow manages to control himself, then a little boy or girl is unlikely to come up with the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow to quickly stop crying. This will have to be taken care of by mom and dad, who must learn not to be led by the child.

Small children cry very often and a lot, and if this is not physical pain or inconvenience experienced by the baby, we can talk about banal manipulation.

In this case, parents need to learn how to distract the baby and quickly switch his attention to interesting objects so that the child calms down.

Are sedatives needed?

Sometimes simple behavioral adjustments may not be enough, and sedatives are indispensable. Their use is justified if a person is on the verge of a severe breakdown, lives in stress, and tears become daily guests. In addition, not everyone can find the inner strength in themselves to overcome the feeling of fear, anxiety or despair.

In this case, it is worth starting taking homeopathic preparations such as mint, valerian, lemon balm, as well as complex medicines that are aimed at eliminating tearfulness. And even if you can’t rid yourself of anxiety and sadness forever, you can start living anew and feel harmony and happiness inside.

Very few people can boast of the ability to cry at the right time. And in order to learn how to cry on purpose and quickly, you must, first of all, study yourself, learn to control your mood. Tears, being an indicator of our state of mind, can be caused by diametrically opposite feelings - sorrow and joy, despair and relief, a nervous breakdown ...

If we consider crying from the point of view of science, then it is, in fact, physiological response to some emotional stimulus. Of course, we all start our lives with crying, but only in adulthood this process can be controlled and acquires an emotional connotation.

How to make yourself cry?

As a rule, tears well up in the eyes because of the desire to receive something. Here they are a means to an end. However, due to the fact that this physiological process is extremely complex, certain efforts are required for its implementation.

On a note! Not always a person cries when tears are so necessary. However, you should not be upset - everything in this life is possible! You can learn to cry when you need it, just by learning a few tricks.

You can, for example, find past grievances, sad memories in your memory. Nevertheless, experts assure that training is very important in this matter, which can be confirmed by theater actresses who practice theatrical crying for a long time before going on stage. Besides, it is necessary to remember both the realism of crying and its aesthetics. Indeed, a red nose and streaks of mascara on the cheeks can lead to the opposite effect.

Easiest Ways to Cry Quickly

Let's start with the basics - with onion. The effectiveness of this method is undeniable, but it is not appropriate in all cases. First of all, the onion itself is not always at hand, and its specific smell can give out a “simulant” with a head. But this will not affect the dramatic image in any way!

Also, the eyes can be made watery with irritation. The best incentive is yawn- it can be provoked by straining the muscles of the throat. But from the outside, these efforts will look, to put it mildly, unaesthetic.

You can still for a long time look at one point without blinking. Tears, as you know, are intended to moisten the eyeball, and therefore, if it does not receive moisture in the required amount, tears may come out by themselves. Finally, for quick tears, you can pull out a few hairs from your eyebrow or pinch yourself on the tip of your nose.

Note! A good way to make yourself cry is to use . So you moisten the organs of vision, and shed tears at the required moment.

Table. The trick for theater actors is hot peppers.

Advice! Obviously, if you need to say lines during a crying scene, you should not chew during them.

Video:

I can't cry, but I really want to. What to do?

In some cases, the mood is such that it would seem that there are no weighty reasons for tears, but they (the reasons) need to be made obvious. Simply put, throw out a "whole sea" of tears. But for this you must understand exactly how you can provoke this process. After all, it often happens that a person, faced with some kind of problem, simply cannot express his inner state with tears.

So psychologists say that crying is an instinctive action, a kind of tool to relieve tension in the body. That is why people say that if you cry, it will become easier. Tears bring not only emotional but also physical relief.

Important information! When a person wants to cry, but cannot do it, he experiences a kind of internal tension that does not allow him to give up. At least that's what psychologists think. Moreover, they assure that, at an unconscious level, he considers the expression of feelings with tears unprofitable or even dangerous.

But such a state is unacceptable, because crying is a natural way to express your feelings. Curiously, the source of these feelings does not have to be negative (remember at least tears of joy), so the absence of tears is already an emotional disturbance, a problem that requires the help of a specialist.

It is believed that such internal "prohibitions" on crying have their own basis, since childhood. To get specific recommendations, it is better to contact a psychotherapist - a specialist will help you identify the source of the problem and successfully eliminate it. But first, you can talk to someone you trust - with your mother, a friend. Or, as an option, use "tearful" songs, films.

Crying for no reason is not just for actors. Below are simple guidelines to help you learn how to do this.

1. First of all, focus on the inner state. Stand in front of a mirror, try to relax completely, and then make faces - depict certain emotions on your face. First, depict sadness, then anger, joy, and so on. You can start with any emotion - it's not so important. Act slowly, calmly, be sure to monitor the work of facial muscles. Also, watch what your body wants to do at this moment - lower your head, clench your fists, and the like.

   

2. Focus on sad emotions, because you want to be able to cry for no reason. What causes sadness? Immerse yourself in memories, find those that provoke a sad mood and make you cry. It is recommended to repeat such exercises every day for at least half an hour - so you can feel the interaction of the body and emotions.

   

3. Know how to control your state of mind. You can, as an option, study the facial expressions of a crying person (for example, scroll through the appropriate frame of the film 2-3 times). Then try to reproduce all this on your own face. To make it as natural as possible, remember the state in which you were crying.

   

4. There are additional methods that will help induce tears, but do not affect the internal state.. For example, do not blink for a long time, rub the lower eyelid with menthol oil, use the same bow. Or the simplest - a handkerchief that is soaked in ammonia.

What can cause tears

In addition to the methods described above, there are other effective means. Let's get acquainted with them.

"Tearful" films

There are quite a lot of films that can make you cry - there are even those, when watching which the sensual mood rolls over the representatives of the strong half of humanity. Such films awaken sincerity, tenderness, empathy in the most unemotional individuals. If the actors play realistically, then you will live every moment of the life of the main characters. And, of course, not without tears.

It can be, for example, the tape "White Bim, black ear." The picture is old, but even if you look at it only once, its touching moments will remain in your memory for a long time.

There is also a more modern film - "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas". He tells about the naive and gratuitous friendship of the son of a concentration camp commandant with a Jewish boy. Do not forget about such film masterpieces as "The Dawns Here Are Quiet", "War", "Cuckoo", etc.

love pictures

The best option if you just want to cry is melodramatic tapes about love. There are many of these too, but the undisputed leader is, of course, the Titanic. We also recommend paying attention to "Hurry to love", "Three meters above the sky" ... You can list for a long time, but each of you probably has personal preferences. In short, choose the right movie, relax and start watching - so you can cry without any serious effort.

Video: Here's what makes actors cry on camera

Suitable songs

Music also greatly affects our inner state. Favorite songs evoke feelings associated with the specific situation in which they were heard. Even a cheerful composition can be associated with sad moments of life, which means it can make you cry.

If songs like this don't come to mind, look to movie soundtracks to tap into associative memory. A vivid example is the song "My heart will go on", the main soundtrack of the aforementioned movie "Titanic".

On a note! Not only the song, but also its words can make you cry. They are as important as the music itself.

standing books

The printed word awakens the strongest feelings, makes you cry and rejoice, experience happiness and universal sorrow. In a word, a great emotional shake-up. A classic example is Three Comrades. Or, alternatively, "Jane Eyre", the famous work of Charlotte Brontë.

Heartbreaking photos

They allow you to feel someone else's grief, hopelessness. A great option is pictures of homeless animals, children from an orphanage.

As you can see, there are many ways to cry quickly. If you want, you can achieve great heights in the "wet" case and learn how to manage your emotions. It just takes persistence and a bit of patience. But psychologists assure that it is better to achieve this by other methods based on positive emotions.

Sometimes it happens that tears come to the eyes at the most inopportune moment - someone offended, a bad mood reached its peak, uninvited memories flooded in ... But it’s not always possible to cry right away and take your soul away - others are unlikely to appreciate public hysteria. How not to cry at the wrong time?

Tears are harder to hide from people than laughter: if a fit of laughter can be disguised as a cough, then the tears flowing down your cheeks will betray you with your head. That's just not always tears in a public place are appropriate. And if they are connected with the fact that someone offended you, then not crying is a matter of honor, because with tears you will show the offender that he has achieved his goal.

How not to cry if you really want to? The easiest way is unpleasant physical sensations. It is also used for. As soon as you feel like crying, bite your tongue, the inside of your lip or cheek. Or clench your fists so hard that your nails dig into your palm. Just do not overdo it, otherwise you still have to cry - only now from pain, and not from frustration.

But this way not to cry is not always effective. If possible, you need to eliminate the cause of your tears, and if this is not possible, then at least distract from it. For example, if tears are caused by the fact that someone offends you, scolds you, you can try to imagine the offender in a funny way. Remember how in "Harry Potter" one of the students imagined the formidable Professor Snape in his grandmother's clothes? Here is something similar for you to check. The main thing is not to go to the other extreme and not laugh.

If there is no specific reason for tears - just unpleasant memories flooded in or the mood itself is “not good” for a combination of reasons, you need to somehow relax and think about something else. The grandfather advised the hero of Krapivin's book "A Lullaby for a Brother": "As it scratches in your throat, remember the green baboon Jimmy." You can follow his advice literally and really imagine the green baboon so as not to cry.

In principle, anything can become your "Baboon Jimmy". Just try to be distracted by things that are fun and funny, or at least neutral. If you, trying to distract yourself from one problem, think of a dozen others, this is unlikely to improve your emotional state.

Well don't forget breathe calmly and deeply, this will additionally help you not to cry. After all, crying is not just tears accompanied by a certain emotional state. Crying is also accompanied by specific facial expressions, contractions of the diaphragm and a change in breathing (long inhalation and stepped exhalation or vice versa), outwardly this is manifested in sobs and sobs. So, even breathing may not help to hold back tears, but it will save you from more obvious manifestations of crying - sobs and sobs.

By the way, smoking helps some, and the point here is not only that smoking in itself has a calming effect. The fact is that, inhaling, the smoker breathes deeper and more evenly. But we will not recommend this method for use. If you do not smoke or smoke very rarely - no need to reach for a cigarette so as not to cry, it is better to use less unhealthy methods.

But do not abuse the tricks to keep from crying. Use them only when it's really important to you not to cry in public. If you are alone, then you should not hold back tears and try not to cry., it is better to throw out all the negativity, not allowing it to accumulate. Anyway, sooner or later you will “break through” at the most inopportune moment, and holding back the tears that have been accumulating for weeks and even months is very, very difficult.

By the way, if lately you feel like crying more and more with or without reason, see a doctor"Wet eyes" can indicate not only psychological problems and stress, but also problems with the nervous and endocrine systems.

First you have to get rid of embarrassment. Many people do not cry, even when it hurts a lot, because they are afraid that they will be judged, that they will think badly, they will laugh. Watch others and you will understand that only in childhood, drops from the eyes were something negative, in adulthood it is a means to achieve one's own, as well as a way to express real emotions. And there is nothing wrong with such manifestations.

Physical ways to bring tears

The easiest way to induce tears is not to blink. Hold your eyes wide open for a few seconds. The surface will begin to dry out, and drops from the tear streams will be a way to restore water balance. You can turn away and then raise tear-stained eyes. But it's better to practice beforehand.

You can also cry from onions. It just needs to be sniffed or cut. This option is suitable for filming or theater, in real life the smell of this plant will give you away, so be careful. A similar way is menthol balm or "asterisk". Apply a small amount to the skin under the lower eyelid. A strong smell will definitely cause tears, be very careful not to get this substance in your eyes.

Use special drops - natural tears. This is a safe way to cause even a tantrum. They will roll like real ones. But in order to realize this, you will have to move away for a couple of minutes to quietly drip them. You can buy such a remedy at a pharmacy, and it is important to follow the instructions for use.

You can also hurt yourself. Pulling hair out of the nose or eyebrows also provokes tearing. And this can be done in almost any atmosphere, and everything will seem very natural.

Moral Ways to Cry

To squeeze out a tear, you need to remember something terrible. Everyone has resentment, severe shock, the death of loved ones or something similar. Just play such a moment in your memory, and tears will well up in your eyes. Of course, it is not very pleasant to return to that time in memories, but if you really need it, then you can use it. Not everyone succeeds the first time, because the habit of hiding emotions gets in the way, so training in front of a mirror will not be superfluous.

And if you don’t want to think about unpleasant things in your life, think about films or literary heroes that shocked you. Images from childhood especially evoke a reaction. For example, a picture about how Gerasim drowned Mumu can touch the heart and help in the implementation of the plan.

But the most important thing is not just to play tears, but to be sincere so that people around believe. Therefore, look for something bad in the circumstances around, take a closer look, and perhaps the tears themselves will begin to flow without special impact.

In a gloomy situation, when you feel bad and life seems too unfair, sometimes it becomes very difficult to hold back tears. Crying is one of the most natural ways to express grief and pain. However, remember that while it's good to cry and release your feelings, it doesn't have to be incessant. This is because it can negatively affect your body and health. If you're in a situation where you don't know how to stop yourself from crying, distract your mind with something else, especially when you're around people or at work. Crying is one of the main ways of becoming aware of pain or emotions, and therefore, there is no need to be ashamed, but relentless crying can negatively affect you. Below are some tips to help you stop yourself from crying. How to stop crying and calm down?

• Create a calming atmosphere around you. Lie down on the bed. Turn off the lights and turn on a soothing, soft nightlight.
• To divert your mind, turn on some pleasant music. Soft instrumental or light songs will make you feel better. Avoid sad songs or music. They can make you cry even harder. The music has to have a good factor.
• Take gradual deep breaths, fully expanding the diaphragm. You may experience mild pain if you cry for a long period. The purpose of this is to make you feel completely relaxed. Exhale slowly and confidently, even if it's flimsy. Repeat the process.
• After you have restored the normal breathing process, focus on the tension in other parts of your body. Make an effort to relax tense parts of your body.
• Understand that life is full of ups and downs. Crying isn't bad, but too much of it can actually harm your body, so it's important to try to get some rest.
• Comfort yourself by explaining that this is just a phase and everything will be fine in the end.
• Talking to a family member or close friend can also make you feel better if you're willing to talk about your problem.
• If crying makes you feel better, cry it out once and for all. Of course, this does not apply to all people or situations, especially those who have gone through a divorce or the loss of a family member or friend. But, for some others, say, losing a job or missing parents who are far away from you.
• If you are surrounded by people, pinch yourself hard. This way you can immediately end your crying by activating the part of the brain responsible for impulse control.
• If you are involved in an emotional discussion with a group of people that could lead to an outburst of crying, try to smile and find an excuse to walk out of the discussion. Walk away from the discussion area and take a deep breath. If you really need to cry and release your negative emotions in a secluded place. But make sure you are in a better mood when you return.
• Crying while watching overly emotional movies is another embarrassing moment for many, especially women. Well, it's hard to avoid tears, but it's possible. When you feel like you're about to cry, distract yourself by eating chocolate or drinking lemonade until you calm down. In case you have nothing to calm yourself down, drink water!
• If you have pets, try to play with them when you feel like crying. Pets, especially dogs, are a great help when you're feeling down. They are therapeutic and help a lot at times when you are experiencing emotional stress. Take your pet for a walk or play with it. Pets love to be loved, so spending more time with them than usual will not only make them feel good, but it will also make you feel a lot better.

Crying is a natural way of dealing with emotional problems. There are times when it makes you feel uncomfortable, especially when you are with other people. However, constantly suppressing emotions is not always helpful. It's good to cry from time to time to let go. You can cry to release the pain that makes you sad.