How not to go crazy from cruelty. How not to go crazy from grief and problems? Take care of yourself

After publication video messages singer Sinead O'Connor, in which she talks about her depression, loneliness and suicidal thoughts, many wondered how they could help a loved one with a mental disorder. Boris Verks, whose wife has been struggling with depression and panic attacks for 6 years, wrote in Facebook about what helps them cope with the disease. She commented on these recommendations especially for Pravmir psychiatrist Maria Leibovich.

Don't try to rationalize it

Boris Verks

This is especially important if you have an innovating brain. There is no need to find a key for a person who is going crazy in this state. If the pilot of an airplane caught in turbulence starts pressing all the buttons in a panic, he has a much greater chance of crashing than of getting out of the turbulence and landing him.

You do roughly the same thing when you try to independently help a person unravel the chain that leads to madness. Most likely, you will simply load it with new links: additional guilt, false hypotheses. Is it dangerous.

No matter how cruel it may sound, all this had to be done before the person was on the brink.

To simplify, madness is a consequence of an advanced chemical failure of the brain; you cannot reverse the process through this failure, or cheat the random number generator. To do this requires years of very specific education and experience and a lot of luck, which you definitely don't have if you're already in this situation.

For example, there is no need to try to appeal to the good: a person who is going crazy perceives the presence of a job, money, a good apartment, children, the health of loved ones, good weather, differently than you do. I would say that you don't have to try to understand it, otherwise you won't be able to work as a counterbalance to the madness.

Force to speak out

The only available way to fight madness is to expel it from the body, like an infection. At a minimum, you can buy time to regroup, and at maximum, you can save a person. How to do it? Ask a person to express in detail everything that is happening in his head, without judging him in anything, without being surprised by anything, question him, try to understand and say that you understand (even if you don’t understand at all, because now it doesn’t matter), not express anything their attitude towards this, other than acceptance.

Madness must be taken out into the light with spoons, without leaving it the opportunity to accumulate in dark corners and multiply by division; for this it must be reprimanded.

If you need a distraction, you need to give the person a pencil and a notebook so that he can write non-stop about everything that is going on in his head. By the way, these notes will then be very helpful in working with a psychotherapist.

Take care of yourself

On an airplane, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your baby. In a hermetically sealed situation of insanity, it's the same. If you don't take care of yourself physically (eating, sleeping, hygiene), you won't be able to help your loved one. If you allow yourself to become limp, you will get hit by a car, and in such situations you are crazier than a madman.

Even a not very sensitive person is always subject to innervation by the state of a loved one, so watch yourself. I would say that the person who is supporting a loved one most likely needs therapy themselves.

Imitate life

Any person, not only in a state of psychosis, is always stupider than his own body. Fortunately, the brain is part of the body. Imitation of life is like fake it till you make it (“Fake it until you make it” - ed. ) , only your task is not to help a person become better, but simply to survive.

You cannot leave your consciousness alone for too long. You need to carefully do what a person can still do from what he is used to doing. Cook dinner together. Walk in the park with ice cream. Watch a movie together. Go somewhere where a person has always felt calm in normal life.

Do something that unites you and does not require special reflection from your loved one, self-evaluation, self-relationship with someone and you. Your task is to keep the mind in the body, for this you need to deceive the body by imitating normal life.

Ground

It is important to do what causes the brain to pay attention to the body and process the signals coming from it, instead of what it actually wants to do.

Anything that distracts a person from his consciousness in favor of his body will do: sit in the bathroom, have sex, go out to breathe different air, get a radical haircut, go for a massage.

In general, physical things are very important. The separating consciousness must be made to understand that, in fact, it is not on its own, but here below there is still life and no one has canceled it.

Break isolation but avoid toxic communication

When the mind is separated from the body, the worst thing that can be done is to provide it with comfortable conditions for this: to keep it within four walls, to satisfy its desire for complete isolation from the environment and its own life.

Find people in your environment who are as devoid of judgment and condemnation as possible, and can simply accept a person in this state, spend time with them. Sometimes a simple silent hug is enough to stop the madness. Talk about what is happening with someone else.

This point has an important difficult point: sometimes you yourself are a factor in the deterioration of the condition (for example, if you are in a couple). No matter how hard it may be, ask yourself if you can’t just be making things worse, and think about what you can do about it, but in such a way as not to abandon your loved one.

Tolerate aggression

This is probably the hardest thing in the world, and almost nothing can be said about it. It is important to accept: it is not your loved one who is aggressive, it is his illness. You cannot overcome the disease, but you will certainly cripple the weakened mind of a person who can still be saved if you do not control your own reaction.

Our Lutheran friend once said that a true Christian does not accept sin, but not the sinner. You don't have to be a believer to make an analogy.

At the same time, it is important to analyze aggression, because aggression is also a vehicle for bringing out madness. What comes out aggressively probably comes out that way because it's important.

By default, perceive suicidal thoughts as a real, maximum dangerous threat, even if the person never talked about it in his life before the illness, and you cannot imagine that your loved one is capable of this.

Suicidal thoughts are a cry for help, don’t try to ignore it.

Turn off your brain

A person going crazy is like an overheated computer. If your computer overheats, you turn it off so it stops working and wait for it to cool down - the same with a person. To do this, you can walk, force a person to do something that will make him physically tired faster (but not exhaust him).

Your task is to bring the body to a smooth discharge in the evening so that the brain can cool down and reboot during sleep. Therefore, it is important to restore or create from scratch a sleep regime (even if a person does not get enough sleep - we are not talking about quality of life here). Under no circumstances should you “pass out” with alcohol or any mind-altering drugs (if you have friends or relatives who are prone to this, limit their influence).

Watch your diet

A person who is struggling with his own consciousness may not be able to simultaneously take care of his body, and this is a big catch, because he does not have the strength to fight the disease. Find what the person can eat in this state and make sure he eats and drinks.

Avoid unnecessary innervation

For example, there is no need to watch films in which the hero goes crazy, absurdist plays, read Shakespeare, or find yourself in additional surreal situations.

IN ordinary life You don’t pay attention to these things (and even look for them yourself), but there are a huge number of them around.

And 2 most important tips!

Take him to a psychotherapist/psychiatrist right now

Not to a psychologist, a priest, sick colleagues, a forum of armchair experts, a self-development coach, to the gym or to work.

When you have a broken leg, you don't go to a beautician, you go straight to a surgeon.

How to choose a therapist

You need to clearly describe the situation to him from the outside (perhaps your loved one is not able to do this adequately himself). The therapist must be confident in his abilities and experience, or redirect you to another specialist.

It is difficult to identify a good therapist before the first session, but it is quite possible after. The most important thing: the therapist will never tell a person what to do. This is a direct violation of ethics. If the therapist says - drink wine, go to the sea and play sports, please go to another doctor. The therapist helps develop a course of action, but this can only be a mutual, analytical process, and it does not happen in an hour.

The therapist does not promise results in 4 meetings and does not promise results at all, because he physically cannot.

If you feel uncomfortable with the therapist, it’s better to leave - you don’t have time to get used to it. The ability to create the most trusting atmosphere is the primary responsibility of the therapist. If you have concerns that the therapist may not respect the patient's confidentiality, run away from him.

The therapist will not go somewhere without your consent, deliberately causing pain - he will carefully prepare you for this. The therapist will not judge you or criticize your thoughts.

Take pills if prescribed

And under no circumstances should you take your friend’s pills, pills that someone wrote about somewhere, take pills without weekly supervision from a specialist, or violate your dosage regimen.

Deciding on pills is often difficult, because they seem to legitimize madness. And there are also many opinions that this is for life, and you can still gain weight, and this is also a conspiracy of pharmaceutical companies, and in general you are not such a weakling that you cannot cope without them.

You can think about all this when you get a person to the state in which he can, in principle, think about something.

To not give up

Going crazy is physically very difficult, and it doesn't last forever: it will either end in hospital or it will get easier - it's a pretty binary situation, and both of these options are better than the uncertainty you're in right now.

At the same time, it is definitely very easy to go crazy if you are left alone with yourself.

If you rescued a loved one from the dead, there will most likely never be anything in your life that you can be more proud of.

I would not have known any of this if my wife Aliya, who has been heroically living with mental illness for 6 years, had not explained it to me. Just like most things I know about life.

Maria Leibovich, psychiatrist, head of the rehabilitation department of the Federal State Budgetary Institution "NTsPZ"

Acupuncture, scolding and ringing bells do not cure mental disorders!

Indeed, to provide it, you need a specialist (and sometimes a team of specialists) who have received special education and having experience working with such patients.

On my own behalf, I just want to emphasize that with the exception of mild depression and anxiety disorders (the severity is assessed by a doctor!), mental disorders are treatedexclusively medicinally.Neither acupuncture, nor a regimen, nor urine therapy, nor homeopathy, nor “reprimands,” nor ringing bells, cure mental disorders! And, of course, compliance with the doctor’s instructions is the main condition for the success of treatment, the formation of stable remission and the main method of secondary prevention.

If a psychologist works with a patient, then it must be a clinical (medical) psychologist. The “good guy who helped his cousin” won’t do. By the way, it is a myth that a psychotherapist will never tell you what to do. The more pronounced the violation, the more directive the therapist is.

In the comments to Boris’s recommendations, there was a question about how to take a patient to a psychotherapist if the patient himself is categorically against it. Here a substitution of concepts has occurred: it makes no sense to go to a psychotherapist against a person’s will, this specialist can only help a person who is committed to cooperation (the exception is a forced visit to a psychotherapist by a court decision in foreign practice, the effectiveness is currently being discussed).

But only a person who poses a threat to himself (suicidal intentions) or others (threats) is subject to compulsory treatment by a psychiatrist. It is better to entrust the assessment of the potential danger of the patient and his condition to a specialist. Everything else is individual, depending on the state, selected schemes, persuasion, beliefs, compromises, deals. In our clinic, consultations with relatives on how to convince them to go to the doctor and how to reduce the stress of hospitalization have already become commonplace.

Everything about the survival of loved ones is also true. “First an oxygen mask for yourself, then for the child.” Like on an airplane. This rule is.

In moments of exacerbation, those closest to you are under attack. They need an understanding of their resources and rest.

You need to give yourself a break - relatives should not be ready to help 24 hours a day. Be sure to “switch off” from salvation, pay attention and time to your interests, and “replenish resources.” Seeking help and information about where to get help. It is based on the understanding that living with a mentally ill person is a big burden, and you need to save your strength.

You need to contact thematic communities for support, visit a medical psychologist. To be able to take care of your loved ones, you need to take care of yourself. Self-care includes regular meals, physical activity, communication outside the family, rest, distraction, and sharing responsibilities among family members. If you're tired of something, that's normal. It's also okay to say no sometimes.

Sometimes you need to build boundaries (“We’ll talk when you calm down,” “If you hit me, I’ll call an ambulance.”) In the case of aggression, it is important to respect boundaries. If the aggression is directed at you personally, remain as calm as possible (would you shout at a person who vomited on you, for example?), discuss it afterwards and agree on the boundaries of what is permissible.

Indeed, when communicating with a loved one, there is no need to try to appeal to the good. Firstly, depression is accompanied by certain cognitive disorders (in other words, “everything is seen in a black light”) and objectivity cannot be expected from the patient. Secondly, such exhortations cause a feeling of guilt in patients (“you’re crazy”) and aggravate their isolation due to the feeling that they are not understood.

You should not allow flat consoling statements or trivial encouragement (“Everything will be fine”, “There is nothing to be afraid of”). You need to avoid the phrases “Pull yourself together,” “Don’t make things up,” “You’re just screwing yourself over.”

It is worth taking the experiences of patients seriously, understanding that the condition of a loved one is truly painful, this is not a whim or caprice.

Boris wrote well about how to listen to your loved one - carefully, without judging, without being surprised, without judging, without showing any attitude other than acceptance. This helps to maintain contact with the patient, understand what is happening to him, and see changes in his condition. But perhaps you shouldn’t say you understand if you really don’t. You can say, for example, I can’t imagine this, but I see how painful it is for you. And you need to speak simply (literally, in short phrases), clearly, calmly and confidently. Stay calm (to do this, make sure there is no overwork, there is support).

Don't forget to say things like this simple words, like “I love you”, “I am here for you”, “I will help you” - this can be very important for your loved one. A person really shouldn’t be left alone, but distraction is very individual. Not every patient will be distracted from his thoughts while sitting in the bathroom. And you shouldn’t insist too much, especially on a radical haircut.

You can offer to take a walk or try to distract from thoughts and worries. The same applies to the advice to “turn off your brain.” Walking, being distracted, getting better sleep is good. Forcing and physically tiring is very individual.

And on my own behalf, I would like to draw attention to several important recommendations: it is necessary to avoid unnecessary stress, even positive stress. Let him be alone. Remember that people with mental disorders are people with a “weak”, vulnerable psyche. They have lower resistance to stress and a longer recovery period.

It’s also important to take your time. The process of restoring health can be lengthy. You need to rest more, make sure your basic needs are met (sleep, food).

Solve problems step by step. Make changes gradually. Work on one thing at a time.

Perhaps lower expectations temporarily. Compare the patient’s condition not with what it was before the illness, but with the results of the current and previous months (weeks/years).

Scientists have proven that having a supportive loved one mitigates the course of the disease and its consequences. Also, the burden of the disease and its impact on the patient and his family can be mitigated if:

• the disease is recognized as such;
• all interested parties received necessary information about the disease and its treatment;
• drug therapy is carried out sequentially;
• medical supervision is carried out regularly;
• the family managed to avoid isolation.

Find more information on the topic under discussion can be found on the website of the NCPH clinic, a portal for relatives, on support sites with recommendations, for example, www.psihos.ru, in books (for example, the wonderful “WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS” A Handbook for Family, Friends and Caregivers. REBECCA WOOLIS).

In addition to reading these materials, relatives are also recommended to attend psychoeducational classes (group and individual) and psychological support groups for family members of mentally ill people.

As in the case of newly diagnosed diabetes mellitus, heart disease or dementia, the patient and his family go through a kind of “school” where they receive the necessary information about the disease and learn about ways to cope with the most common difficulties that arise during the treatment process and in everyday life. note that general recommendations in some cases, it is worth preferring an individually selected recovery scheme.

anonymously

Hello! It's as if you told several stories at once. From what I read, I have the feeling that this is written by a man who has lost his footing. No familiar surroundings. Now there is only a room that evokes at least some sense of security. There is no support because you do not tell your loved ones about your condition. And the fears that were once bearable seem to have strengthened and seized power over you. Is there someone or something that makes you feel safe? Is there someone you can trust?

anonymously

Yes, indeed, there is no familiar environment, I came from a small village to a huge metropolis, naturally, all the people here seem completely different to me, strangers, as if they have completely different interests, although compared to the village this is really the case, so I don’t I can get along with them, talk to them common topics or just discuss something, this makes me very lonely, and I’m just tired of delving into my head, I can’t tell and trust someone!!! I can’t show my weakness, maybe it’s stupid, but most likely I won’t be able to get over myself, and what will it give? If I tell my friends that everything is so sad here, they tear my soul apart and call me back, but I understand that there is nothing to do there, the population in the village is 1 thousand .man, every year young people leave, there is no work and, accordingly, no prospects either, so I came here with great ambitions, but in the end I constantly miss home and want to go there, but what worries me most are these incomprehensible fears, anxiety, and reluctance, apathy towards everything, when I imagine myself here, for example, in 5-10 years, even if everything is fine with me, for some reason I feel sad. In general. Now I’m probably writing everything in a heap again) I’m also very worried about this lack of self-confidence, it seems to me that everyone is somehow better than me, although I understand that this is far from the case, that everyone has their own complexes, problems, etc. , but in the end, when communicating, I become timid, my voice becomes uncertain and quiet, which is why it disgusts me!! Damn, in short, I didn’t expect from myself that I would turn out to be such a weakling, I don’t know what to do now!! and after reading about panic attacks, as I understand it, that’s exactly what I have, maybe you can recommend something, maybe there are some medications without a prescription. what can you advise, and in general what do you say about this situation, I just don’t understand, I want to go home very much and I miss it, but I understand that there is nothing to do there, and here I also feel very bad, I become isolated every day!! thank you, huge!

I found a letter that I myself had put aside “closer” to answer, and as a result it moved further away and lay there for a long time. But I’ll publish it anyway, it’s short.

Yana, hello.

I already wrote to you once, but there was no answer. Maybe it’s for the better, now is not the time to reveal tenderness and femininity.

My question is, how can I not go crazy? I am 31 years old, I have been living with my disabled mother for 2 years.

I divorced my husband because he really wanted to live in America, and at that time I already had a disabled mother and it was impossible to leave her. She loved her husband very much, the divorce was difficult. All this time I live with the fear that I will never meet anyone again. I have the opportunity to hire nurses, even if not for the whole day, but for part of the day, and I hardly have to deal with my mother. But it really bothers me that she is in my arms, that she needs something all the time, that I have to solve a bunch of problems that other people don’t have. Doctors, medications, nurses, etc., etc., any new problem knocks the ground out from under my feet. Last week we had a leak due to rain. And I had a terrible hysteria, which happens when the cup overflows. I realized that now I also need to solve this. Today I have also added that I need to clarify with the nurse the question of why she washes herself in my bathroom while I am not there. I understand that from the outside it looks like you’re freaking out, you have a nurse and be happy. And I'm sick. Because with the money that I can pay, I can find few people, but even this use of the bath annoys me and again I need to find out and sort something out. I am so tired. All these 2+ years no one cares about me. I'm scared, lonely, I'm tired and I don't believe that anything will improve.

In fact, I do a lot of things to survive. I go to a psychologist, I went to a therapeutic group for a year. It helps me, it gives me its advantages. But I feel like I'm going downhill faster than I can help myself. My sister suggested going to a psychiatrist so that he could prescribe antidepressants. I think I'll do so. But this will not solve the problem of my loneliness, my fears. I really don't want to live anymore. What would you do in such a situation?

I’ll say right away that there are no close relatives, and all cousins ​​and second cousins ​​are ready to help only with sympathy via telephone. And I have problems with communication, I have few friends and they are superficial. There are no real ones.

If possible, then anonymously. Thank you

The situation is sad and difficult. It’s probably not so easy to come up with something here on a purely everyday level. But if you take a closer look, you’ve already thought of and organized everything!
In general, each sentence reads: “I’m afraid,” “everything is knocking the ground out from under my feet,” “the nurse is washing in my bathroom.”
And most importantly, you yourself write that " normal person I would be glad that there is a nurse." (And a normal person would also think that “where else could she wash herself if something spilled on her while she was caring for her, or if she just sweated because she did something hard? Endure unwashed until the night?")

And you yourself feel that some little things are, of course, very unpleasant, but not a reason to completely go overboard and fight in hysterics. It just seems to me that when there’s such a reaction to everything, a group can’t help. So I'm back to my favorite advice - to a psychiatrist for the right medications. They (if chosen well) change the reaction to a lot of things. Instead of hysteria, there will be a reluctance to twitch over trifles, and you will just think: “There is a nurse - and it’s very good,” and continue to live.

Here's my word of honor - you can continue to live peacefully with all these troubles, if only you would stop worrying so terribly about them. But it will no longer be possible to “stop” in such a situation through an effort of will.

I wish you to feel better soon (and that you find someone who will prescribe the right medicine for this).

Sometimes your head just feels spinning when a person is overwhelmed with a lot of problems and worries. The longer problems bother a person, the more he begins to understand that he is simply going crazy. That’s why an online magazine website comes to the rescue, telling you how not to go crazy with thoughts and problems.

The first piece of advice would be to give up the desire to do many things at once. The older a person gets, the more worries and problems he has. Here he is trying to keep up with everything and cope with everything. Doing several things at once can only exhaust yourself. By doing one thing while thinking about solving another problem, you can end up with a situation where not a single task will be completed efficiently.

In other words, psychologists offer a gradual solution to all problems. It is clear that a person is concerned about many questions from various areas life. But it is proposed to do one thing at a time. If you are currently busy with work, then do not think about family problems. And when you return home, think about family obligations, letting go of all work issues for the next day.

How not to go crazy with thoughts?

A person drives himself crazy with the thoughts that are spinning in his head. There are many reasons for this. Each person has his own factor that makes him think more than solve problems, which will finally get rid of the constant stream of thoughts.

In order not to go crazy with thoughts, you need to not get hung up on problems. While all your thoughts are immersed in your own troubles, you cannot solve them. Do you think your house will become cleaner if you keep looking at it and wondering why it's not clean? It’s the same with problems: they cannot be solved while you are only thinking about them. Something else needs to be done in order to change the situation.

Don't dwell on problems. As long as you constantly think about your problem, you cannot find a solution to it. Try to switch. Mind your own business, communicate with other people who are not related to your problem, go to beautiful or new places. Constantly staying in the environment where your problem arose does not allow you to solve it. Moreover, how can you solve a problem if you only scroll through it in your head and don’t think about what final result you want to get? Think about what you ultimately want to achieve and how you can do it.

Life is not only problems, but also everyday joys. Problems will always exist. But this does not mean that you only need to think about them. Try to entertain, distract and refresh yourself with new ideas, places, people. You don't need to stay in the same place all the time. Broaden your horizons by trying new things or with new people. This way you will better understand what you need from life. And when you know this, then many problems find their solution.

Okay, problems happen to everyone. What should you do with your problems so as not to go crazy from them? We must not make tragedies out of them. Quite often, people exaggerate the significance of the events that happen to them, which makes them go crazy from constantly replaying problems in their heads.

Don't make a tragedy out of anything. The man didn’t smile at you as you expected, “well, okay.” Your beloved partner didn’t thank you for the delicious dinner, “God bless him.” You were not reciprocated or some offer was refused, “then I will find another person who will agree.” Never make a tragedy out of someone not behaving the way you expected. You want to be treated a certain way, but if you don't get it, then ignore it. You are left with a choice: no longer communicate with the other person if that is what you want, or continue communication without any hard feelings because he did not do what you expected of him?

Understand that all tragedies are in your head. You are making something out of a simple situation scary story, they say, they looked at you wrong, didn’t thank you, didn’t accept your offer, etc. If you don’t like the other person’s attitude towards you, then you have the power to stop any contact with him. But there is no need to upset yourself and once again quarrel with another person just because you expected something from him, but he did not do it.

We can say, in order not to get upset, stop expecting anything from others. Others cannot read yours and are not obliged to follow your whims. They act as they are used to doing or as they see fit. And if you don’t like it, then you can just tell the person about it, but don’t yell at him or demand him. Everyone is free to choose how to act and what to think. And your choice remains: to communicate with this person further or not?

Don't make a tragedy out of anything. There is nothing so important and valuable in this world that it would be necessary to create a disaster. If some event is unpleasant for you, then understand that there is nothing to worry about. Experience your emotions, and then calm down to understand that nothing terrible happened.

How not to go crazy from problems?

All people have problems. It is important to be able to distribute them and deal only with those problems that can be influenced. In other words, in order not to go crazy about problems, you need to divide them into two categories: “Problems that I can influence, that depend on my actions” and “Problems that do not depend on my actions, that I cannot influence.” "

The fact is that people often go crazy over problems that do not depend on their actions. They cannot influence them in any way, do anything with them. Why, one might ask, think and rack your brains about something that is outside your zone of influence? Whether you like it or not, your worries will not help in solving the problem. No matter how much you worry and think, the problem will be solved the way it was meant to be. You cannot influence this in any way. It all depends on other people or circumstances.

However, there are problems that depend on your actions. Let's think about and decide on them.

In order not to go crazy with problems that you can fix or influence yourself, you need to solve everything to the best of your ability. Every person consists of soul and body. Just as you cannot give up your right hand or head, you cannot get rid of your soul or body, because then you will no longer be a person. Thus, everything that happens to you on a physical and spiritual level is important.

People are accustomed to solving issues of only a visible nature. Study, work, health, money and other attributes of the material world are decided by a person constantly. This is visible, it is palpable, as are the consequences of certain unresolved problems. The same applies to psychological, moral, internal problems. However, people rarely think about the fact that their spiritual problems should also be worked through, since they have a direct impact on a person’s quality of life.

Faced with any life difficult situation, a person solves its visible aspect: lack of money, attention, his own shyness, etc. However, he does not think about the fact that the cause of such an event could be his internal unresolved problem, with which he has been living for many years.

All people come from childhood. It is then that the basic fears, complexes, programs, stereotypes and unresolved issues are laid down, with which a person learns to coexist. When he becomes an adult, he no longer notices his own shortcomings, because he is accustomed to them and acts automatically. But along with all this, a person faces new difficulties, which are solved in an unfavorable way, introducing a person into another internal unresolved problem. Over time the situation is resolved in outside world. But deep down, it remains unresolved, prompting a person to not only be careful, but also to provoke unpleasant situations that will force him to look fear in the eye and finally learn to cope with it.

Problems must be solved as they arise. But psychological problems Often you have to decide as they next appear. You should understand that your internal conflicts They don’t go anywhere, they don’t disappear. They are just waiting for the next opportunity to manifest themselves in order to give you a chance to finally learn how to cope with them. As long as you are running away from yourself, you have no chance of living a happy and successful life. Because your internal unresolved questions will periodically remind you of themselves, manifesting themselves in the outside world in the form of difficulties and problems. So why collect your spiritual shortcomings if they are not going anywhere? Engage in harmonization not only of your external life, but also of your internal one. Solve problems as they arise and manifest themselves. Then your life will become much brighter and more enjoyable.

To solve problems easier, you need to:

1. Not only work, but also relax. You need to gain strength to be able to deal with problems.
2. Do the most important, urgent and difficult things first.
3. To restore emotional balance, listen to music.
4. Play sports or do vigorous physical activity.
5. Avoid excessive stress and emotional turmoil.

You can go crazy from grief, which probably occurs in every person. What can you do here?

• Don't stay long time alone, and also not to focus only on your thoughts.
• Try to convince yourself that you need to move on with your life.
• Cry or hit an inanimate object if necessary.
• Walk more in the fresh air, at least for a few minutes.
• Let people into your life. You need to start at least with your loved ones and acquaintances.
• Surround yourself with interesting and pleasant things.
• Avoid sad music and depressing films.
• Be with friends more often and agree to spend time with them.
• Gradually force yourself to do something.

Why people go crazy is not yet clear. It is known that from time to time every person experiences difficulties that cause him to go crazy. The reason is that a person feels powerless in a situation where he wants one thing, but the circumstances or people around him act completely differently. The individual does not know what to do to get what he wants.

Bottom line

It is a mistake to take the time to evaluate how pleasant or unpleasant a particular situation is. Sure, you may be attracted to or repelled by something, but this is not a reason to focus on your own feelings. When a person evaluates a situation as “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong,” he is simply wasting his time, because when he understands that he likes the situation, he takes some subsequent actions, and if the event doesn't like it, then he tries to get rid of it.

How do people usually try to get rid of what they don't like? They run away, fight, look for those to blame and wait for them to correct what happened, try not to notice what happened. But all this does not solve the problem, but, on the contrary, postpones it until later, when the person again does not make a mistake that will provoke an unpleasant situation.

Don’t waste time on “good” and “bad”, start solving problems. As long as you are assessing the situation, it will not go away. IN real world there are no such concepts as “good” and “bad”, there is a concept “is”: an event happened and now you need to do something about it (be happy or sad, solve an issue or have fun). In the real world, some events just happen, they are neither good nor bad. And if some event interferes with your existence, then you just need to solve the question: how to eliminate or adapt to new living conditions?

There is no need to waste time assessing the situation; it is better to spend it on solving the problem in a way that suits you. Look at the situation as a fact that happened. What can you do about it? How can you influence the course of events to ultimately get to what you want? Think about the solution to the problem, and not about whether you like the situation or not. After all, just because you don’t like something, nothing will change. You will still have to learn to live in new conditions. However, you can make new conditions work to your advantage rather than adapt to them.

Date: 2014-03-03