Leonid Filatov about Fedot the archer. Online reading of a book about Fedot the archer, a daring young man Sk tale about Fedot the archer

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Leonid Filatov
About Fedot-Sagittarius, a daring fellow

Fairy tale for the theater

(Based on Russian folklore)

funny buffoon

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was neither handsome, nor ugly, nor ruddy, neither pale, nor rich, nor poor, neither scab nor brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service is fishing and hunting. Tsar - game and fish, Fedot - thanks. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber. One from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! One - lobsters, another - squid, the third - sardines, and one getter! Once they give him an order: at a little light in the morning to come to the court. The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist, and the viciousness in him is an agromadic volume. He looks at Fedka like a canker looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growl in his belly, here, as they say, the fairy tale began ...

Tsar

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.
Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.
You can't - who's to blame? -
I must execute you.
state business -
Are you catching the thread?

Fedot

Something I don't understand
With my mind? ..
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.
Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There must be war.
To the English ambassador
I was not angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I'll provide a spread! ..

funny buffoon

The word of the king is harder than crackers. If he sends for a bear - you go for a bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or a sword and a rack. Fedot went around a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a capercaillie! Tired, no urine, and it's the night. Though with an empty bag, but it's time to go home. Suddenly he sees - a bird, a forest dove, sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

Fedot

Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
Whatever, yes food!
And to put it bluntly,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Dove - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse! ..

Dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me,
Benefits in entom not a penny -
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.
Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine
And what kind of meat is in me,
So, not meat, only laughter! ..

Fedot

Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?
Either from the royal windows
Such a law was promulgated
For the birds to speak
Human language?

Dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light
I will be your destiny.
I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you! ..

Fedot

What a parable - I do not understand? ..
Okay, get in my bag! ..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what!

funny buffoon

Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means, into the turtledove. Sits sadly, hung his little head. And there are serious reasons for the torment. The hunting of our Fedot did not go well. And the king does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once. Fedot is sitting, sad, saying goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest dove. Look - and in the middle of the gore, instead of that turtledove, there is a red-haired girl, slender as a tree! ..

Marusya

Hello, Fedya! .. You and me -
We are now one family.
I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.
Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How do you put water in your mouth? ..
Al is not the kokoshnik on me,
Al outfit on me is not the one? ..

Fedot

On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Just be your spouse
I do not shine a shish! ..
I was none - a little dawn -
At the reception of the king
Well, the king gave me a task
In a sense, it means capercaillie.
Though the game is not the season -
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.
I went through the whole day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
It's all complete rubbish!
And now to me, dear friend,
Not up to dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow is the king for this business
It cuts my head off.
And I'm like this for nothing
Not at work, not at home,
'Cause all my meaning
Exceptionally in the mind! ..

Marusya

Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear)

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Chai, it's not the first time!..

funny buffoon

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Next - you look! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What is a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that's the whole feast. The guest is bored, he shakes his boots, he studies the holes on the tablecloth. The tsar gets angry, does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly - as if from the sky: a loaf of bread, a bucket caviar, a stewed turkey, sterlet's ear, veal giblets - and such food has names up to a thousand! With such food - how not to be a conversation! ..

Tsar

Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabagas there -
With peel or without? ..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there -
With or without saccharin?

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antires
And such isho cut:
How do you women go there -
In pantaloons or without?

Ambassador

Nurse

I would be embarrassed at least to send an ambassador! ..
Al completely weakened his head? ..
Wherever they say -
All one will bring to the women!

Tsar

Are you back to your own tune?
I'll go to jail, mind you!
I'm not just a prankster
I'm in politics!
Evon girl grew up
And skinny, like half an oar!
So I'm thinking how to give out
Our steal for the ambassador!
Only need to benefit
To lure him not angry -
Making subtle hints
Nevsuryez and from afar.

Nurse

Yes for this ambassador
Even I wouldn't go
So it glares, bastard,
To wipe off the table!
He gives you all "Yes" yes "yes"
Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.
Turn away - he is half a Race
Swallow in one sitting!

Tsar

Ali shut your mouth
I'll kick Ali out!
You scared me so
All overseas attaches!
Dave was a Gishpan grandee,
Already a dandy, already a dandy!
A diamond in each ear -
What is not an option for you?
Well you arranged for a guest
Inadvertently sat on a nail,
And otsedova at the guest -
Political anger!

Nurse

How, I remember! .. Entot grand
Was to devour a great talent:
With his head he climbed into the plate,
Already smeared with fat bow!
What do not ask the grandee -
He is like an ass - "si" yes "si",
Well, everything leans
Ivasi herring!

Tsar

I am for your line
I will rot you at the root!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!
Baron from Germany
Was good in every way
Duck and here did not resist -
Damaged him.
Who to him at the bottom of the bucket
Dropped a dead mouse?
You're a real pest
Cursed soul!

Nurse

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Leonid Filatov
About Fedot the archer, a daring young man

Dedicated to my wife Nina

Fairy tale for the theater based on Russian folklore

Characters:

Buffoon

TIT KUZMICH, FROL FOMICH - two burly fellows

Ambassadors, guards, retinue, people

Buffoon

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was neither handsome, nor ugly, nor ruddy, neither pale, nor rich, nor poor, neither scab nor brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service is fishing and hunting: the king - game and fish, Fedot - thanks. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber: an entot is from Sweden, an entot is from Greece, an entot is from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! Entomu - lobsters, entomu - squids, entomu - sardines, and there is only one getter! Once they give him an order: at a little light in the morning to come to the court. The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist, and the viciousness in him is an agromadic volume. He looks at Fedka - like a ulcer at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growl in his belly ... here, as they say, the fairy tale began ...

TSAR

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.
Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.
You can't - who's to blame? -
I must execute you.
public affairs -
Are you catching the thread?

FEDOT

Something I do not understand -
With my mind -
I don’t sip tea with bast shoes,
I figure out what's what.
It turns out - on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get partridge -
There must be war.
To the English ambassador
I was not angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I'll provide a spread! ..

Buffoon

The word of the tsar is harder than cracker: if he sends a message to a bear, you will go to the bear too, but where to go, Fedya! Or game and fish - or a sword and a rack. Fedot walked around a hundred forests, a hundred marshes, but all for nothing: neither partridge nor capercaillie! Tired, no urine, and it's the night - he likes with an empty bag - and it's time to go home. Suddenly he sees - a bird, a forest dove, sits - does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

FEDOT

Here is the misfortune, here is the trouble:
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a dove -
What kind of food do you want!
And, to put it bluntly,
Pigeons are scolded in vain:
Dove - if in gravy -
No worse than a capercaillie ...

Dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me -
Benefits in entom for a penny:
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.
Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine -
And what kind of meat is in me -
So, not meat - only laughter ...

FEDOT

Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What a flaw I have
Either from the royal windows
Such a law was announced -
For the birds to speak
Human language?

Dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery, -
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light room -
I will be your destiny.
I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play taba on the violin
And bedbugs taba to kill ...

FEDOT

What a parable - I do not understand ...
Okay, get in my bag.
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what...

Buffoon

Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means that he was sitting sadly, he hung his little head. And there are serious reasons for the torment: our Fedot's hunting did not go well, and the tsar does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once. Fedot sits sad, says goodbye to the white light. He remembered a bird, a forest dove - lo and behold, and in the middle of the mountain, instead of that turtledove, there stands a red-haired girl, slender as a tree! ..

MARUSYA

Hello, Fedya! .. You and me -
We are one family now.
I am your wife - Marusya,
I am your wife.
Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
Like water in the mouth -
Al is not the kokoshnik on me,
Al outfit on me is not the one? ..

FEDOT

On taba, my soul,
The century would look without breathing,
Toko become your spouse
I do not shine a shish! ..
I was there at dawn
At the reception of the king
Well, the king gave me a task -
In a sense, it means - a capercaillie.
Want to game and not the season -
There is no point in arguing with the government.
Okay, I think I'll get it:
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.
I went through the whole day
And good luck - if you want a shadow:
Not a single serious bird -
It's all complete rubbish...
And now to me, dear friend,
Not to dancing on the meadow:
Tomorrow is the king for this business
It cuts my head off.
And I'm like this for nothing -
Neither at work, nor at home -
'Cause all my meaning is
Exceptionally in the mind! ..

MARUSYA

Do not be sad and do not whine:
There will be a table, and there will be game.
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

GOOD FELLOWS

Don't hesitate:
Tea it is not the first time!

Buffoon

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Next - you look! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What is a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that's the whole feast. The guest is bored - he shakes his boots, studies the holes on the tablecloth. The tsar is angry - he does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly - as from the sky: a loaf of bread, a bucket caviar, a stewed turkey, sterlet's ear, veal offal - and such food - up to a thousand names! With such food - how not to be a conversation! ..

TSAR

Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow swede there -
With peel or without?

AMBASSADOR

TSAR

Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there -
With saccharin or without?

AMBASSADOR

TSAR

Causes antires
And such isho cut:
How do you women go there -
In pantaloons or without? ..

AMBASSADOR

NURSE

I would be embarrassed to even send an ambassador!
Al completely weakened his head?
Wherever they say
All one will bring to the women!

TSAR

Are you back to your own tune?
I'll go to jail, mind you!
I'm not just a prankster -
I'm in politics!
Evon girl grew up
And skinny, like half an oar!
So I'm thinking how to give out
Our steal for the ambassador!
Toko is necessary for the benefit
To lure him not angry -
Making subtle hints
Nevsuryez and from afar.

NURSE

Yes for this ambassador
Even I wouldn't go
So it glares, bastard,
To wipe off the table!
He gives you all "yes" yes "yes"
Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.
Turn away - he is half a Race
Swallow in one sitting!

TSAR

Ali shut your mouth
I'll kick Ali out!
You scared me so
All overseas attaches!
Dave was a Gishpan grandee -
Already a dandy, already a dandy!
A diamond in each ear -
What is not an option for you?
Well you arranged for a guest
Inadvertently sat on a nail,
And otsedova at the guest -
Political anger!

NURSE

How do I remember! Entot grand
Was to devour a great talent:
With his head he climbed into the plate,
Already smeared with fat bow.
Whatever you ask the grandee -
He is like an ass - "si" yes "si",
Well, everything leans
Ivasi herring.

TSAR

I am for your line
I'll rot taba in Solovki!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!
Baron from Germany
Was good in every way
Duck and then did not resist -
Damaged him.
Who to him at the bottom of the bucket
Dropped a dead mouse?
You're a real pest
Cursed soul!

NURSE

Yeah, that's your baron
Was cracking bad!
Put him in a flock of crows -
He will also take away from the crows.
Looks proud - "I-a" yes "I-a",
And gluttonous as a pig
Give straw - eat straw:
Tea, someone else's, not one's own!..

TSAR

Well, spy, give me time -
I'll take you to prison!
Well, I'm not a bad guy
But strict with pests.
Here answer me - do not waste words!
Where can the princess get a husband?
Tea, yourself, fool, you see -
She has no suitors!
If only a regiment crowded here -
There would be sense in arguing,
Well, no - grab anyone
Even if he was a Bryansk wolf! ..

PRINCESS

If you are in power in Russia,
Duck and rule Raseya to your heart's content,
And don't poke your nose into my fate
And don't get into my love!
In the house of entih attache
A hundred pieces per floor,
Me from their cologne
Can't breathe anymore!

TSAR

If love is really evil,
You will also love the ambassador.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trading business.
I'm under this antires
I will melt the hemp and the wood for them.
All society agrees
Toko you are going against! ..

PRINCESS

No matter how fast you raise your eyebrow -
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!
Maybe it's finally
And it would come to the rings -
If he suddenly betrothed me
Your Fedotushko-shooter! ..

TSAR

Chick, fool! Shut up!
Test place by the oven!
Well, march to your room
And learn solfeggia!
And the damn archer
Insolent and scoundrel,
I am whips and batogs
I’ll take you away from the palace at once! ..

Buffoon

The king had a general, he collected information. Hide his face in his beard - and walk around the city. Sniffs out, dog, thinking otherwise. He overhears conversations - what if there are conspirators in the country? Wherever he hears a FAQ, he will write it down in a book. And at seven exactly - to the king for a report.

TSAR

What's wrong, general?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk with alcohol,
Did Ali lose cards?
Ali's army is small,
Ali service is not nice,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?
Report without any bullshit
Why is there darkness in the heart,
I want to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!

GENERAL

I was with the archer,
Fedot the daring.
How I saw his wife -
So he blurted out from the porch.
The third day - she-she's not lying! -
I do not take a saber in my hands,
And such a dream
What the hell, I'll die!
And the other day there was a sin -
Almost made up a poem
The doctors got scared
They say love shock...

TSAR

The archer went around the mine! ..
But he knew that I was a widower!
Well, in a moment I steal ent
I'll deliver to the palace!
And the insidious archer
Wipe it off your face this time.
So that he does not rub
Near our porch! ..

GENERAL

Snatching her is not hard
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How do they know whose idea, -
They will grind you to powder!
The people have become daring now -
Don't put your finger in their mouth -
We do not favor Fedot,
And the people - on the contrary!

TSAR

You are such a fool
On Saturdays, how is it?
I owe something to the minister
Explain any nonsense?
So that the worst about the king
The people did not talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That is, act ... on the sly.
Well, I'm right here -
I will reward you for your work:
The blacksmiths were given a task -
The Order will be closed by tomorrow.

Buffoon

The whole day the general gathered his mind into a fist. All kumekal in the sweat of his face - how to get rid of the archer. Yes, in the head of the thought sour from the strain. I remembered at my leisure - about an old friend, Baba Yaga the bone leg. I'll go to her - she's smarter! .. And that middle of the oak forest collects herbs, cooks all kinds of poisons. As soon as I saw the general, I lost all the herbariums. I missed you in the wilderness without a kindred soul! ..

BABA YAGA

You are not yourself
Not ruddy, not alive! ..
Ali Swede near Petersburg,
Ali Turk near Moscow?..
Eat aspen bark -
And cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not what chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!
In her juice, general,
There is a useful mineral -
From him from the generals
None of them died!

GENERAL

All right, grandma! I'm not sick!
Let's go over the hill! ..
Shake hedgehogs and squirrels,
There is a serious conversation.
Here we have one archer -
Very literate, bastard! ..
Here is my assignment -
Let him know at the end!
Toko how? .. Cut off your head -
Duck rumor will begin to trumpet! ..
Can you help with advice?
What's the smartest way to kill him?

BABA YAGA

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me an answer about the archer! ..
If he is so zealous and quick,
That with the king enters into an argument, -
Let him get it by tomorrow
Carpet embroidered with gold.
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country.
Well, if it doesn't get it -
That is the getter of wine! ..

GENERAL

Hey grandma! Hey special!
That's the end of the hassle!
At least take you out of the stupa -
Yes, the minister to the palace!
None with the Germans,
Is it far from trouble -
And with you I'm ready
Though in intelligence, even where!
I pay good for good:
He likes - a marten, he likes - a beaver,
And if you don’t want it, I can with a coin,
Gold or silver!

BABA YAGA

Completely, dove, do not sin,
Take away your money,
I'm not for money,
I'm ento for the soul.
There will be a new trouble -
Hurry right here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,
Tea, we will always help! ..

Buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Isho did not give the task, and already angry in advance. He twists his hands, knocks with his feet, rotates his eyes - in general, frightens. He really wants to lime Fedot, that it hurts right in the bones! ..

TSAR

Get a carpet in the morning -
Embroidered with gold pattern! ..
state business,
Break up, but be kind!
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No fucking review!
You won’t find it, I want to, -
I'll shorten my head
I will hand you over with the dawn
Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Buffoon

Fedot came home, mute from grief. He sat down in a corner, looked up at the ceiling, and clouded his clear eyes with tears. Manya calls to eat, but he bullies his neck, doesn’t want to, he sulks and whimpers ...

MARUSYA

Are you angry as a hedgehog?
Do you eat or drink?
Ali porridge burned,
Ali jelly is not good?

FEDOT

What kind of food is there!
The king is fierce - it's a disaster!
No on this villain
No government, no court!
Get it, screaming, carpet,
gold embroidered pattern,
The width of the whole of Russia,
A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!..

MARUSYA

Don't twist and don't whine!
Let the old bastard rage!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

Marusya claps her hands - two burly fellows appear.

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

GOOD FELLOWS

Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

Buffoon

The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gates. I came to the reception, and I accepted the carpet. It is worth smiling, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised - he choked on his caviar. Anger sharpens him, but does not want to show. Makes a look that seems to be happy!..

FEDOT

Yesterday you asked for a carpet -
Well, I got him.
Everything according to the contract -
Both drawing and color.
All Raseyushka is full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift to you
My wife weaved! ..

TSAR

Ay suck! Oh yeah grab!
How many are you married to?
Ali you betrothed immediately
One-piece weaving mill?
You, Fedot, have a wife
Though smart, but still alone!
And to weave this overnight -
Their division is needed! ..

FEDOT

Al carpet does not please the eye?
Al is not the one in the carpet pattern?
Well, duck I under his arm -
Yes, the conversation is over!
So that not in vain the abyss of labor,
I will sell it to merchants,
And let him out of Russia
Sailing to Amsterdam!

TSAR

I would beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't freak out
Over serious people!
But since I am calm
I respect order and law -
Here's a penny for vodka
And get out of here!..

Buffoon

The king calls the general, pin him in the visor! The tsar's face looks like a beetroot, and when he is red - he is dangerous at hand! It hits, infection, no more than once, but it does not miss the eye. Anto General checked on himself: from the beginning of the tale he walks in a bandage! ..

TSAR

Well, brother, what is the result?
Freaked out?
Only this bit will pull
About five years old!
You are broad in our shoulders,
And the head is completely withered.
Here you go and fix it
On state-owned grubs! ..

GENERAL

Take me to prison
For any length of time -
All the same, this science
It won't work for me, fool, for the future!
I would like a saber! Yes horse -
Yes, to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues -
Anthony is not about me!

TSAR

You to me, your honor,
Throw a fever, then flog!
You think - how without a saber
We Fedot to overcome!
Well, you will be a fool -
Do not look for fault in anyone:
I'll clean your snout -
Personally with a fist!..

Buffoon

In vain the general rubbed his hands: it did not work out from the raid - to destroy Fedot. Again, the poor fellow's head is in tension. And in the head, listen, well, at least a little thought! I thought and thought - I didn’t think of anything. No matter how you turn it, you can’t do without Yaga, you’ve crossed into the oak forest again - to look for justice on Fedka! ..

BABA YAGA

Are you gloomy again?
What is the cause, who is to blame?
Al Gishpan is chasing
Al guardsuz went to war? ..
Here is jelly from the mold!
Tea, have you tried it yet?
Duck drink - and immediately forget
About the mundane carousel!
It doesn't taste so good
But it takes away the shivers
You'll be healthy tomorrow
Unless you die!

GENERAL

I'm talking about the shooter again!
There is no end to my trouble!
That's why I'm sick
That's why he slept off his face.
Why, scoundrel, cunning -
All around wiped their noses!
No matter how much you did not conjure,
And he got that carpet!
Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And cook a master with your head,
So henceforth conjure more seriously -
With feeling, so your rastak! ..

BABA YAGA

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
So!.. Ege!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..
Here is what Yaga found out:
Let him find you a deer,
So that horns of gold! ..
Search the whole wide world -
There are none in nature!
Anto I am to you, blue,
I speak as a local historian! ..

Buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Before our Fedot had time to wipe the sweat off his face, the tsar-villain had a new idea. The tsar seethes with ideas, and Fedka sweats! In general, Fedka's life is worse than a bitter radish! ..

TSAR

Well, throw off the blues and laziness
And - on the road the same day!
State business -
I desperately need a deer!
If you are a servant of the king -
Go over the mountains, over the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.
Do not gundi and do not cross,
And go and provide
And not at the moment you know
How the head flies off the shoulders! ..

Buffoon

Fedot came home, snot - fringe! He sat down in front of the torch in an embrace with the torment. A beautiful wife throws herself on her neck, but he does not touch his wife! Sitting, crying - grieving, that means! ..

MARUSYA

Are you looking like an owl?
Al were sad about what?
Al in the hodgepodge there is little salt,
Al steak underperformed?

FEDOT

What a lunch!
The king tortured me - I won't save you!
In the morning it will be necessary again
Before him to answer!
Entot is the king of the fierce enemy -
Sends me on the run again:
Find, screaming, deer,
So that horns of gold! ..

MARUSYA

Don't be sad and don't whine!
There are sorrows and oprich!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

Marusya claps her hands - two burly fellows appear.

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

GOOD FELLOWS

Don't hesitate -
Chai, it's not the first time!..

Buffoon

In the morning the light of Fedot is at the Tsar's gates. He came to the reception, and the deer received it. The king stabbed from anger on the left. Would crush the nits, but does not seem to mind. Sits, yawns - hides anger.

FEDOT

Tea, are you waiting? Good afternoon
Look out the window when not lazy!
You ordered deer -
Well, here's a deer for you!
And - notice! - horns on it
So they puff fire
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day! ..

TSAR

Those deer - don't lie! -
Not in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them!
And now count up, soldier, -
Where is Moscow, and where is Baghdad!
Ali you hit the night
To Baghdad and back?

FEDOT

Come on, vigorous louse!
And you don't like deer?
And yesterday he was publicaning his soul:
Take out the deer and lay it down! ..
If you are already rich, -
I will return it to Baghdad.
Who's in power there? -
That guy will be happy!

TSAR

You tell me, Fedka, stop it
Or with your head you will be apart!
I see your hints
Exceptionally through!
oh well, for the prestige
Don't you forgive the devil!
Here's a penny for vodka
And go wherever you want!

Buffoon

The king calls the general - even straight from under the covers. The general is in a panic, looking for underpants, he understands that they are not calling for gingerbread! The king sits on the throne - he is angry with the whole world. Black with anger, like a raven in a churchyard! ..

TSAR

No matter how hard you fought, my dear, -
Fedot did not fall into the snare!
Already compiled about you
Official obituary.
You just need to decide
How to get back to you to decide:
Stun with a candelabra
Al pillow to choke?..

GENERAL

I screwed up, my lord!
Here are those saber, if you want - hit it!
Only more of those Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!
What a fool - do not blame me!
I have a different mind!
I would go somewhere to attack.
Al to storm somewhere! ..

TSAR

You are with a sword,
Just here's the FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword, but with your head!
Well, you will be just as fast
How have you been until now,
I'm taba, cow face
I'll put it under the ax myself! ..

Buffoon

Our fool again strained his mind. And there was that mind - small bins. I thought and thought - I didn’t think of anything. He whistled the horde of dogs - and to Yaga in the oak forest. She saw that general - she jumped right up to the Urals. But she came to her senses and returned: no matter how worse it turned out! ..

BABA YAGA

You're out of your mind!
Out and a pimple on the lip!
Oh, you're wasting your health
In the political struggle!..
Try rabbit litter!
He is vigorous! He will get through!
And where is the healing honey,
Even if it doesn't taste like honey.
It tastes cool though
And with him, it happens, they die,
But which ones survive?
They live to old age!

GENERAL

You tell me, grandmother, do not twist!
You find ways!
You think like Fedot
Bring to the grave!
No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,
And it didn't work out!
Just don't pretend
It's like a tight ear.
You blow your head
Yes, more carefully conjure.
Our archer, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy!..

BABA YAGA

Actually, I'm smart
In the sense of the meanness of the inside,
But tea to me today
Do not conjure in the morning! ..
Everything hurts and hurts
And in the chest it burns with fire! ..
I've been suspecting for a long time
I have encephalitis!
Oh, what a bad thing for me!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since such a thing -
I'm on the billet!

GENERAL

Got sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!
You fool my brains
You can't even think!
Better than all your submissiveness
Get to work!
And you climb on the rampage -
I'll take my saber out of its scabbard!
Even though you are my friend,
But there must be order!

BABA YAGA

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
Let Fedot show agility
May you be able to get
That-Faq-On-White-Light -
Actually-Impossible-Be!
Well, Fedot, now hold on!
It's the right thing to say!
That's the entogo task
You will not fulfill a single life! ..

Buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Again, an order of state importance. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, the tale is far from the denouement! ..

TSAR

Try to get me
That-FAQ-Can't-Be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!
And you won’t do it by morning -
I'll grind you to powder
Because your carachter
I haven't been good for a long time!
So don't blow your lips
And let's get on the road!
State business -
Are you getting the point?

Buffoon

Fedot came home - more terrible than death itself! White as chalk, face numb. He sat by the window - a veil in his eyes. Manya rushed, and he - zero attention: you will be sad if death is behind you! ..

MARUSYA

Well, pour out your soul to me,
Otchavo are you a hell of a lot?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles?

FEDOT

I am yours, Marus, menu
I especially appreciate
Only my life, Marusya,
Lost in the bud!
What should I do? What do i do?..
How can I get rid of my misfortune?
The king ordered me to deliver
That-FAQ-Not-Maybe!..

MARUSYA

Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is call out!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

Marusya claps her hands - two burly fellows appear.

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Pause.

GOOD FELLOWS

Sorry hostess.
This is not about us!
If only shemku al drawing,
We'd start a spin
Well, so - look as much as you want,
You'll find the devil!
Where to look and how to get
That-faq-can't-be?
After all, he is not in the world,
How much earth do not dig ...

MARUSYA

Do not seek, dear friend Fedot,
I don't have much income!
Know that fate is yours, falcon,
Go hiking yourself!
Do not wander abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don't make acquaintances!
Avoid empty haze
Avoid crooked roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese! ..

FEDOT

You, Marus, don't be afraid!
Formed, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task -
And I'll be back safe!
Don't be sad without me!
Water the ficus more often!
If you like - play the balalaika,
If you like - embroider on the hoop!
Well, such a one will turn up,
Who will disturb your peace, -
I don't need to teach you
Frying pan at hand!

Buffoon

Fedot left for an overseas campaign. The general found out about that - he lost his last mind. Our trickster runs to the king in the palace - to report that the archer is finished. Already drilled a hole for the order, fat-faced! ..

TSAR

Is it good, is it bad news -
Report everything to me!
Better bitter but true
What a pleasant, but flattery!
Only if the ent is news
Again it will not be God knows -
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years! ..

GENERAL

I report: a little dawn
Fedka raised the anchors!
Thank God, got rid of
From him, from the ghoul!

TSAR

Well, mow, nanny, come here,
Get to work -
Tear hair out of the crown
Those who are gray.
And which are not gray -
Comb those in rows.
Yes, take it easy with a scallop -
I don't have gardens there!

NURSE

Well scratch something, old devil,
When the bald head bakes ?!
You have every hair here
Must be registered!
And what do you need
Wife at this age?
After all, you, as a man,
Sorry, worthless!

TSAR

Even though I'm hairless
And I must marry!
The Shah of Persia is also bald -
And he has forty wives!
I only want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I am in an intimate sense
And I won’t pull one? ..

NURSE

Duck at the Shah, you see,
There is a silushka, and to become -
And you, you dead cricket,
You can't see from under the crown!
Have you in your years
The strength is still not the same!
Would you save your health -
After all, you are already over a hundred! ..

TSAR

Eka importance - more than a hundred!
If only the blood was thick!
They say love is submissive
Everything is literally age!
So, nanny, whatever you like,
And I'm good for business!
When all love is submissive,
Duck and I'm humble too! ..

NURSE

You, my friend, are one of those men
What is more harmless already:
They eat, they don't bite
Not to say isho worse!..
To steal someone else's woman,
You have to have ardor and passion!
And now your task is
Don't go to the cemetery!

TSAR ( General)

Well, you're silent
Do you strum medals?
Al don't you see how they rot
State prestige?
The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - no goog!
You are on our defense
So fight back the enemy!

GENERAL

Duck, after all, women's courts
About men are always thin!
Don't doubt yourself
You are a lover even where!
Proud profile, firm step,
From the back - duck a clean check!
Toko - move the crown to the side,
So that it does not hang on the ears! ..

TSAR ( babysitter)

Here is the minister - I'm not an enemy,
Everything as it is said without a lie,
But he is a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.
From you - one bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I've been anti-responding for a long time:
You are not sent to us? ..
Don't spy and don't harm
And dare - look!
We have a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!

Buffoon

The king goes to Mana - to pay attention. He himself sits in the carriage, stinks of a decolon, behind the king the retinue is powdered, curled, behind the retinue is a chest - gozinaki and hazelnuts. All honor by honor - the king is going to the bride! .. KING

You, Marus, don't piss me off
And the conflict with me is not long!
Me the other day from Paris
The guillotine has arrived!
In the light of what I have said -
Better be my wife!
I've got nerves too
I'm not made of steel either!

MARUSYA

Go away, hateful, away
And do not mind yourself as husbands!
You won't leave - yes I can and
Help with a frying pan!

TSAR

Hey, robots at the door, -
Hurry into her shackles!
Anto what kind of fashion isho -
Frying pans in the kings!
Here you will wash yourself in prison -
And get better in your mind!
How much are you, girl, don't be shy,
Let's get married by winter!

MARUSYA

Catch me, bastard
Lots of work needed!
Goodbye, my dear friend,
Maybe we'll meet when...

Marusya turns into a dove and flies away.

Buffoon

Fedot sailed for almost a year. He ate halva, ate persimmon - and kept his mind in mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not seen yet. Fedot is worried - time is running out! I decided without hysteria: I will go to America. Fedot floats among the endless waters, in front - sunset, behind - sunrise. Suddenly, in the middle of the campaign, the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello: the ship - crap! - and fell apart! .. A thunderstorm passed - Fedot opened his eyes: he was lying on a wave, completely unharmed. He sees: the island sticks out like a float. I got to the shore, I thought - America. He took out a map, checked it - but no, not America, but Buyan Island, damn it, - maybe there is a flaw in the map ?! Fedot is sitting hiccuping, delving into the situation ...

FEDOT

How at the whim of the king
I did not swim across the seas -
Haven't seen a lousy place
Frankly speaking!
Well, the island is just melancholy! -
All stone and sand
And as long as the eye suffices -
No rivulets, no woods! ..
Yes, it wouldn't be a problem
If there was food here, -
If there was a swan here,
And the swan would have come down! ..

VOICE

Who is hungry for food -
Let him come here:
I have a lot of food
I have her pounds!
Here, for example, get
Straight from the kalachi oven
Here's a roast turkey
Here is cherry plum compote!
Here are sausages, here are cheeses,
Here is half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters
Here are the Don sturgeons!..

Tables with dishes appear.

FEDOT

Give, master, honor,
Show what you are!
Somehow indecent to the guest
Eat and drink alone!
Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together -
Where do we scatter the cards?
Where will we pour a cup! ..

VOICE

I would be glad, yes, my portrait -
It's a secret for me too!
I hesitate sometimes,
Either I exist or I don't!
I have countless worries:
There is food, but nothing to eat,
There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff,
There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!
So tired for a thousand years
What is not a joy white light!
Thought it was strangling -
Again, no neck!

FEDOT

Hey meeting! That is,
I managed to get you -
That-Faq-On-White-Light -
Actually-Impossible-Be!
What, yearning and blues,
Life to waste in vain -
Maybe you can swim with me
Before the racist king?..
Take a walk, freshen up
Make friends with the white light!
What is life without adventures -
Just awful, not life! ..

VOICE

I am useful prospects
Never against!
I'm ready even for the bees in the hive,
If only only in co-op!
Command - and at least where,
At least for mining!
I will work hard for nothing,
No drink and no food!
I am good for any business,
I enter any door
I'll get you whatever you want
Even a shod louse! ..

FEDOT

Louse, it is, of course, well?
Wow, that's good too!
But on this insect
You won't swim far!
Get me a better fleet -
Ali boat, ali raft,
Since you are so skillful
In this case, a polyglot!
We are in the morning, at five o'clock,
Gotta be on the way
Because we are in Russia
Waiting already, come on! ..

Buffoon

Meanwhile, the king does not waste time - he receives the ambassador of a cannibalistic tribe. London-Paris greased the skis, the tsar was left with thinner ambassadors. The tsar in front of the ambassador jumps like a goat: they say, here's your daughter, take her - and that's it! You know, things are really bad, since it has come to such a disaster! Well, okay, it happens even worse - if only the girl was with her husband! ..

TSAR

Good afternoon, happy hour!
We are glad to see you with us!
Believe good, salam alaikum,
Bona sir, you ist das!
Who are you from?.. How old are you?..
Are you married or not?
Don't you want with our Fraulein
Chat tete-a-tete?

NURSE

TSAR

You are a spy, that's a fact!
Whatever you blurt out - everything is out of time!
You are with all abroad
I lost contact!
I've been waiting for messengers for years
And she them - from sentsov!
For whom then the princess
Give in the end?

NURSE

You look him in the face
Ears apart, nose ring!
Yes, and the skin is all pockmarked,
Like a cuckoo's egg!
Even I - FAQ to hide? -
Don't go to bed with him!
Duck really our girl
For such a give?!

TSAR

When chances are zero
Looking for gold in the ashes!
The girl is also in the sense of faces
Far from creme brulee!
Any one will do for her now -
Do you like humpbacked, do you like pockmarked,
Because like pockmarked
We are not bursting with a crowd! ..

NURSE

Well, he's from the wild
Wow, look what he's eating!
Remember the topaz vase?
Gobbled up, Herod, - that's the cross!
If only he asked, the villain,
Salmon and mushrooms -
Duck, after all, he eats FAQ,
From porcelain to nails!

TSAR

Whatever he asks - he is visiting!
Bring everything to him in handfuls!
Tea, we have no shortage
Not in porcelain, not in nails?
If salmon disgusts him -
Let him eat whatever he wants.
Look at a full stomach
And he will seduce the princess! ..

NURSE

Yes, ambassadors - give them at least poison! -
Everyone will eat for free!
Maybe he's safe
But let them follow him!
You tell him, like a father-in-law:
Eat, they say, everything - but know, they say, honor, -
Because he's on fire
And the princess can eat!

PRINCESS

So that with this - yes, go out into the world?
Well, pipes! .. well, no! ..
He's so unassuming
Duck isho and the cannibal! ..
Let him go, troglodyte,
Makes me all gold -
No reciprocal passion
He won't excite me!

TSAR

You sent something call back
Yes, stay with him vis-a-vis
And be patient a little -
There will come to love!
If entot troglodyte
Your appearance will be seen -
He will forever lose
An appetite for cannibalism!

PRINCESS

How much, dad, you are noah -
The choice is mine!
I'll get poisoned, but I won't
Cannibal wife!
But if it comes
With the offer of Fedot -
For me of the candidates
Anthony will be the one! ..

TSAR

Charged like a hoopoe -
Whatever the word - then Fedot!
Apart from Fedot, no
No sorrows, no worries!
Your Fedot is now at the bottom,
In the oceanic depths
And - since the drowned -
Doesn't need a wife!

PRINCESS

When that's the way it is -
I refuse to eat!
Here's mine, papa
Political revenge!
I won't eat caviar
As usual, by the bucket -
And on the basis of exhaustion
I'll get sick and die!

TSAR

Wherever you spit, wherever you poke -
From ministers to relatives -
All solid freethinkers,
All pests are one! ..
Well, life - as much as a lump in the throat!
No sympathy for anyone!
Here I will find a forest more densely
And I'll be a forester!

Buffoon

A year has passed, another is coming - Fedot returned home. But there is no house at all - one skeleton sticks out, beams and rafters, and nettles all around. And under the eaves, a bird, a forest dove, curled up in a dove-gray lump ...

Attention! This is an introductory section of the book.

If you liked the beginning of the book, then the full version can be purchased from our partner - the distributor of legal content LLC "LitRes".

Leonid Filatov

About Fedot-Sagittarius

Fairy tale for the theater (Based on Russian folklore)

funny buffoon

Tsar

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.

Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.

You can't - who's to blame? -
I must execute you.
state business -
Are you catching the thread?

Fedot

Something I don't understand
With my mind? ..
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.

Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There must be war.

To the English ambassador
I was not angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I'll provide a spread! ..

funny buffoon

Fedot

Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
Whatever, yes food!

And to put it bluntly,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Dove - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse! ..

Dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me,
Benefits in entom not a penny -
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine
And what kind of meat is in me,
So, not meat, only laughter! ..

Fedot

Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was promulgated
For the birds to speak
Human language?

Dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light
I will be your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you! ..

Fedot

What a parable - I do not understand? ..
Okay, get in my bag! ..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what!

funny buffoon

Marusya

Hello, Fedya! .. You and me -
We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How do you put water in your mouth? ..
Al is not the kokoshnik on me,
Al outfit on me is not the one? ..

Fedot

On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Just be your spouse
I do not shine a shish! ..

I was none - a little dawn -
At the reception of the king
Well, the king gave me a task
In a sense, it means capercaillie.

Though the game is not the season -
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I went through the whole day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
It's all complete rubbish!

And now to me, dear friend,
Not up to dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow is the king for this business
It cuts my head off.

And I'm like this for nothing
Not at work, not at home,
'Cause all my meaning
Exceptionally in the mind! ..

Marusya

Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear)

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Chai, it's not the first time!..

funny buffoon

Tsar

Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabagas there -
With peel or without? ..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there -
With or without saccharin?

(Based on Russian folklore)

funny buffoon

Tsar

Come to us for morning pickle

The English ambassador arrived

And we have snacks in the house -

Half a humpback and a mosol.

Get ready, brother, go

Yes, get us something to eat -

Capercaillie al partridge,

Al isho someone.

You can't - who's to blame? -

I must execute you.

State business -

Are you catching the thread?

Fedot

Something I don't understand

With my mind? ..

Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,

I figure out what's what.

Turns out it's on me

All politics in the country:

I won’t get a partridge -

There must be war.

To the English ambassador

I was not angry from hunger -

I won't spare my head

I'll provide a spread! ..

funny buffoon

Fedot

Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble

There is no sign of the game.

I'll shoot a pigeon

Whatever, yes food!

And to put it bluntly,

Pigeons are scolded in vain.

Dove - if in gravy -

He is no worse than a wood grouse! ..

Dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me,

Benefits in entom not a penny, -

And you can't fill the pot

And don't stuff a pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman

Likes fresh galantine

And what kind of meat is in me,

So, not meat, only laughter! ..

Fedot

Whether the goblin is now zealous,

Is the air now drunk,

Whether it happened in the ear

What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows

Such a law was promulgated

For the birds to speak

Human language?

Dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery,

And take me with you.

How do you bring me into the light

I will be your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,

Do not reproach for insults

And play the violin for you

And bedbugs to kill you! ..

Fedot

What a parable - I do not understand? ..

Okay, get in my bag! ..

There, on the spot, we'll figure it out

Who goes where and what's what!

funny buffoon

Marusya

Hello, Fedya! .. You and me -

We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,

I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,

How do you put water in your mouth? ..

Al is not the kokoshnik on me,

Al outfit on me is not the one? ..

Fedot

On you my soul

The century would look without breathing,

Just be your spouse

I do not shine a shish! ..

I was none - a little dawn -

At the reception of the king

Well, the king gave me a task

In a sense, it means capercaillie.

Though the game is not the season -

There is no reason to argue with the authorities:

Okay, I think I'll get it

Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I went through the whole day

And good luck - at least a shadow:

Not a single serious bird

It's all complete rubbish!

And now to me, dear friend,

Not up to dancing on the meadow -

Tomorrow is the king for this business

It cuts my head off.

And I'm like this for nothing

Not at work, not at home,

'Cause all my meaning

Exceptionally in the mind! ..

Marusya

Don't twist and don't whine!

There will be a table and there will be game!

Well, stand in front of me

Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear)

When they understood the order -

Do it this very hour!

Well done

Don't hesitate,

Chai, it's not the first time!..

funny buffoon

Tsar

Causes antires

Your technical progress:

How do you sow swede there -

With peel or without? ..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antires

Your nutritional process:

How do you drink cocoa there -

With or without saccharin?

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antires

And such isho cut:

How do you women go there -

In pantaloons or without?

Ambassador

Nurse

I would be embarrassed at least to send an ambassador! ..

Al completely weakened his head? ..

Wherever they say

All one will bring to the women!

Tsar

Are you back to your own tune?

I'll go to jail, mind you!

I'm not just a prankster

I'm in politics!

Evon girl grew up

And skinny, like half an oar!

So I'm thinking how to give out

Our steal for the ambassador!

Only need to benefit

To lure him not angry -

Making subtle hints

Nevsuryez and from afar.

Nurse

Yes for this ambassador

I wouldn't even go

So it glares, bastard,

To wipe off the table!

He gives you all "Yes" yes "yes"

Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.

Turn away - he is half a Race

Swallow in one sitting!

Tsar

Ali shut your mouth

I'll kick Ali out!

You scared me so

All overseas attaches!

Dave was a Gishpan grandee,

Already a dandy, already a dandy!

A diamond in each ear -

What is not an option for you?

Well you arranged for a guest

Inadvertently sat on a nail,

And otsedova at the guest -

Political anger!

Nurse

How, I remember! .. Entot grand

Was to devour a great talent:

With his head he climbed into the plate,

Already smeared with fat bow!

What do not ask the grandee -

He is like an ass - "si" yes "si",

Well, everything leans

Ivasi herring!

Tsar

I am for your line

I will rot you at the root!

I'm not joking with you

I'm serious!

Baron from Germany

Was good in every way

Duck and here did not resist -

Damaged him.

Who to him at the bottom of the bucket

Dropped a dead mouse?

You're a real pest

Cursed soul!

Nurse

Yeah, that's your baron

Was cracking bad!

Put him in a flock of crows -

He will also take away from the crows.

Looks proud - "I-a" yes "I-a",

And gluttonous as a pig

Give straw - eat straw,

Tea, someone else's, not one's own!..

Tsar

Well, spy, give me time -

I'll take you to prison!

Well, I'm not a bad guy

But strict with pests.

Here answer me - do not waste words!

Where can the princess get a husband?

Tea, yourself, fool, you see -

She has no suitors!

Princess

If you are in power in Russia,

Duck and rule Raseya to your heart's content,

And don't poke your nose into my fate

And don't get into my love!

In the house of entih attache

A hundred pieces per floor,

Me from their cologne

Can't breathe anymore!

Tsar

If love is really evil,

You will also love the ambassador.

And at the same time you will correct me

And trading business.

I'm under this antires

I will fuse stump and wood for them,

All society agrees

Only you go against! ..

Princess

No matter how you raise your eyebrow -

I repeat again and again:

The individual has the right

For free love!

Maybe it's finally

And it would come to the rings, -

If he suddenly betrothed me

Your Fedotushko-shooter! ..

Tsar

Shut up, you fool!.. Shut up!..

Test place by the oven!

Come on, march to your room

And learn solfeggia!

And the damn archer

Insolent and scoundrel,

I am whips and batogs

I’ll take you away from the palace at once! ..

funny buffoon

The king had a general, he collected information. Hide his face in his beard - and walk around the city. Sniffs out, dog, thinking otherwise. He overhears conversations: what if there are conspirators in the country? Wherever he hears a FAQ, he will write it down in a book. And at seven exactly - to the king for a report.

Tsar

What's wrong, general?

Ali fell ill with measles,

Ali got drunk with alcohol,

Did Ali lose cards?

Ali service is not nice,

Ali's army is small,

Ali found in the cannon

Barrel damage?

Report without any bullshit

Why is there darkness in the heart,

I want to know in detail

Who, where, FAQ and how!..

General

I was with the archer,

At Fedot the daring

How I saw his wife -

So he blurted out from the porch.

The third day - she-she's not lying! -

I do not take a saber in my hands,

And such a dream

What the hell, I'll die!

And the other day there was a sin -

Almost made up a poem

The doctors got scared

They say: love shock! ..

Tsar

The archer has bypassed me! ..

But he knew that I was a widower!

Well, in a moment I steal ent

I'll deliver to the palace!

And the insidious archer

This time to wipe from the face,

So that he doesn't flinch

Near our porch! ..

General

Snatching her is not hard

Yes, the people are painfully cool:

How do they know whose idea, -

They will grind you to powder!

The people have become bold now,

Don't put your finger in their mouth

We do not favor Fedot,

And the people - on the contrary!

Tsar

You are such a fool

On Saturdays, how is it?

I owe something to the minister

To explain such a trifle?

So that the worst about the king

The people did not talk in vain,

Act strictly according to the law

That is, act ... on the sly.

Well, I'm right here -

I will reward you for your work:

The blacksmiths were given a task -

The Order will be gone by tomorrow! ..

funny buffoon

The whole day the general gathered his mind into a fist. All kumekal in the sweat of his face - how to get rid of the archer. Yes, in the head of the thought sour from the strain. I remembered at my leisure about an old friend, Baba Yaga the bone leg. I’ll go to her, she’s smarter! .. And that middle of the oak forest collects herbs, cooks all kinds of poisons. As soon as I saw the general, I lost all the herbariums. I missed you in the wilderness without a kindred soul! ..

Baba Yaga

You are not yourself

Not ruddy, not alive! ..

Ali Swede near Petersburg,

Ali Turk near Moscow?..

Eat aspen bark -

And cheer up for the time being:

Tea, not what chemistry,

Tea, natural gifts!

In her juice, general,

There is a useful mineral, -

From him of the generals

None of them died!

General

That's enough, grandma! .. I'm not sick! ..

Let's go over the hill! ..

Shake hedgehogs and squirrels,

There is a serious conversation.

But how? Cut off the head -

Duck rumor will begin to trumpet! ..

Can you help with advice?

What's the smartest way to kill him?

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,

Three on the side - yours are not there,

Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,

About the archer, give me an answer!

If he is so zealous and quick,

That with the king enters into an argument, -

Let him get it by tomorrow

Carpet embroidered with gold.

To be visible on it

As on the map, the whole country.

Well, if it doesn’t get it, -

That is the getter of wine! ..

General

Hey grandma! Hey special!

That's the end of the hassle!

At least take you out of the stupa -

Yes, the minister to the palace!

None with the Germans,

Is it far from disaster?

And with you I'm ready

Though in intelligence, even where!

I pay good for good:

He likes - a marten, he likes - a beaver,

And if you don’t want it, I can with a coin,

Gold or silver!

Baba Yaga

Completely, dove, do not sin,

Take away your money,

I'm not for money,

I'm ento for the soul.

There will be a new trouble -

Hurry right here.

Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,

Tea, we will always help! ..

funny buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Isho did not give the task, and already angry in advance. He twists his hands, knocks with his feet, rotates his eyes, in general, frightens. He really wants to lime Fedot, that it hurts right in the bones! ..

Tsar

Get a carpet in the morning -

Embroidered with gold pattern! ..

state business,

Break up, but be kind!

To be visible on it

As on the map, the whole country,

Because I'm from the balcony

No fucking review!

You won’t find it, I want to, -

I'll shorten my head

I will hand you over with the dawn

Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Joker

Fedot came home, mute from grief. He sat down in a corner, looked up at the ceiling, and clouded his clear eyes with tears. Manya calls to eat, but he bullies his neck, does not want to, he sulks and whimpers ...

Marusya

Are you angry as a hedgehog?

Do you eat or drink?

Ali porridge burned,

Ali jelly is not good?

Fedot

What kind of food is there!

The king is fierce - it's a disaster!

No on this villain

No government, no court!

Get it, screaming, carpet,

gold embroidered pattern,

The width of the whole of Russia,

A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!..

Marusya

Don't twist and don't whine!

Let the old bastard rage!

Well, stand in front of me

Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

When they understood the order -

Do it this very hour!

Well done

Don't hesitate,

Tea, it's not the first time!

funny buffoon

The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gates. I came to the reception, and I accepted the carpet. It is worth smiling, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised, he even choked on his caviar. Anger sharpens him, but does not want to show. Makes a look that seems to be happy!..

Fedot

Yesterday you asked for a carpet, -

Well, I got him.

Everything according to the contract -

Both drawing and color.

All Raseyushka is full

Reflected on the carpet.

This carpet is a gift to you

My wife weaved! ..

Tsar

Ay suck! Oh yeah grab!

How many are you married to?

Ali you betrothed immediately

One-piece weaving mill?

You, Fedot, have a wife

Though smart, but still alone!

And to weave this overnight -

Their division is needed! ..

Fedot

Al carpet does not please the eye?

Al is not the one in the carpet pattern?

Well, duck I under his arm -

Yes, the conversation is over!

So that not in vain the abyss of labor,

I will sell it to merchants,

And let him out of Russia

Sailing to Amsterdam!

Tsar

I would beat you with whips,

Four or five

So that you don't freak out

Over serious people!

But since I am calm

I respect order and law, -

Here's a penny for vodka

And get out of here!..

funny buffoon

The king calls the general, pin him in the visor! The king's face looks like a beetroot, and when it is red, it is dangerous at hand. It hits, infection, no more than once, but it does not miss the eye. Anto General checked on himself: from the beginning of the tale he walks in a bandage! ..

Tsar

Well, brother, what is the result?

Freaked out?

Only this bit will pull

About five years old!

You are broad in our shoulders,

And the head is completely withered.

Here you go and fix it

On state-owned grubs! ..

General

Take me to prison

For any length of time -

All the same, this science

It won't work for me, fool, for the future!

I would have a saber and a horse -

Yes, to the line of fire!

And palace intrigues -

Anthony is not about me!

Tsar

You to me, your honor,

Throw a fever, then flog!

You figure out how without a saber

We Fedot to overcome!

Well, you will be a fool -

Do not look for fault in anyone:

I'll clean your snout

Personally with a fist!..

funny buffoon

In vain the general rubbed his hands: it did not work out from the raid - to destroy Fedot. Again, the poor fellow's head is in tension. And in the head - listen! - Well, at least a little thought! Thought and thought, thought nothing. No matter how you turn it, you can’t do without Yagi! I went back to the oak forest - to look for justice on Fedka! ..

Baba Yaga

Are you gloomy again?

What is the cause, who is to blame?

Al Gishpan is chasing

Al guardsuz went to war?

Here is jelly from the mold!

Tea, have you tried it yet?

Duck drink - and immediately forget

About the mundane carousel!

It doesn't taste so good

But it takes away the shivers

You'll be healthy tomorrow

Unless you die!

General

I'm talking about the shooter again!

There is no end to my trouble!

That's why I'm sick

That's why he slept off his face.

Why, scoundrel, cunning -

All around wiped their noses!

No matter how much you did not conjure,

And he got that carpet!

Even though he looks like a simpleton,

And cook a master with your head,

So henceforth conjure more seriously,

With feeling, so your rastak!

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,

Three on the side - yours are not there,

Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,

About the archer, give me an answer!

So!.. Ege!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..

Here is what Yaga found out:

Let him find you a deer,

So that horns of gold! ..

Search the whole wide world -

There are none in nature!

Anto I am to you, blue,

I speak as a local historian! ..

funny buffoon

Tsar

Well, throw off the blues and laziness

And - on the road the same day!

State business -

I desperately need a deer!

If you are a servant of the king -

Go over the mountains, over the meadows

And find me a deer there,

So that the horns are made of gold.

Do not gundi and do not cross,

And go and provide

And not at the moment you know

How the head flies off the shoulders! ..

funny buffoon

Marusya

Are you looking like an owl?

Al are you freaking out about what?

Al in the hodgepodge there is little salt,

Al steak underperformed?

Fedot

What a lunch!

The king tortured me - I won't save you!

In the morning it will be necessary again

Before him to answer!

Entot is the king of the fierce enemy -

Sends me on the run again:

Find, screaming, deer,

So that horns of gold! ..

Marusya

Don't twist and don't whine!

There are sorrows and oprich!

Well, stand in front of me

Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)

When they understood the order -

Do it this very hour!

Well done

Don't hesitate -

Chai, it's not the first time!..

funny buffoon

A little light Fedot - at the Tsar's gates. He came to the reception, and the deer received it. The king stabbed from anger on the left. Would crush the nits, but does not seem to mind. Sits, yawns - hides anger! ..

Fedot

Tea, are you tired? Good afternoon

Look out the window when not lazy!

You ordered deer -

Well, here's a deer for you!

And - notice! - horns on it

So they puff fire

From him without any lamp

At night it is as bright as day! ..

Tsar

Those deer - don't lie! -

Not in Tula or Tver.

What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself

There are at most three of them!

And now count up, soldier, -

Where is Moscow, and where is Baghdad!

Ali you hit the night

To Baghdad and back?

Fedot

Come on, vigorous louse!

And you don't like deer?

And yesterday he was publicaning his soul:

Take out the deer and lay it down! ..

If you are already rich, -

I will return it to Baghdad.

Who's in power there? -

That guy will be happy!

Tsar

You tell me, Fedka, stop it

Or with your head you will be apart!

I see your hints

Exceptionally through!

oh well, for the prestige

Don't you forgive the devil!

Here's a penny for vodka

And go wherever you want!

funny buffoon

Tsar

No matter how hard you fought, my dear, -

Fedot did not fall into the snare!

Already compiled about you

Official obituary.

You just need to decide

How to get back to you to decide:

Stun with a candelabra

Al pillow to choke?..

General

I screwed up, my lord!

Here are those saber, if you want - hit it!

Only more of those Fedot

My brains are not turpentine!

What a fool - do not blame me!

I have a different mind!

I would go somewhere to attack.

Al to storm somewhere! ..

Tsar

You are with a sword,

Just here's the FAQ:

Fedot must be defeated

Not with a sword, but with your head!

Well, you will be just as fast

How have you been until now,

I am you, cow face,

I'll put it under the ax myself! ..

funny buffoon

Our fool again strained his mind. And there was that mind - small bins. I thought and thought - I didn’t think of anything. He whistled the horde of dogs - and to Yaga in the oak forest. She saw that general - she jumped right up to the Urals. Yes, she came to her senses and returned: no matter how worse it turned out! ..

Baba Yaga

You're out of your mind!

Out and a pimple on the lip!

Oh, you're wasting your health

In the political struggle!..

Try rabbit litter!

He is vigorous! He will get through!

And where is the healing honey,

Even if it doesn't taste like honey.

It tastes cool though

And with him, it happens, they die,

But which ones survive?

They live to old age!

General

You tell me, grandmother, do not twist!

You find ways!

You think like Fedot

Bring to the grave!

No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,

And it didn't work out!

Fedot got a deer -

Precious horns!

You blow your head

Yes, more carefully conjure.

Our archer, as it turned out,

Don't be so crazy!..

Baba Yaga

Actually, I'm smart

In the sense of the meanness of the inside,

Yes, tea to me today

Do not conjure in the morning! ..

Everything hurts and hurts

And in the chest it burns with fire! ..

I've been suspecting for a long time

I have encephalitis!

Oh, what a bad thing for me!

Do you hear the crunch in your back?

In a word, since such a thing -

I'm actually on the bulletin!

General

Got sick - no problem!

Eat the frog from the pond!

There is no reliable medicine

Than the natural environment!

You fool my brains

You can't even think!

Better than all your submissiveness

Get to work!

And you climb on the rampage -

I'll take my saber out of its scabbard!

Even though you are my friend,

And there must be order!

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,

Three on the side - yours are not there,

Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,

About the archer, give me an answer!

Let Fedot show agility

May you be able to get

That-Faq-On-White-Light -

Actually-Impossible-Be!

Well, Fedot, now hold on!

It's the right thing to say!

That's the entogo task

You will not fulfill a single life! ..

funny buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Again, an order of state importance. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, the tale is far from the denouement! ..

Tsar

Try to get me

That-FAQ-Can't-Be!

Write down your name

So as not to forget in a hurry!

And you won’t do it by morning -

I'll grind you to powder

Because your carachter

I haven't been good for a long time!

So don't blow your lips

And let's get on the road!

State business -

Are you getting the point?

funny buffoon

Fedot came home - more terrible than death itself! White as chalk, face numb. He sat by the window - a veil in his eyes. Manya rushed, and he - zero attention! .. You will be sad if death is behind you! ..

Marusya

Well, pour out your soul to me,

Otchavo are you a hell of a lot?

Al in Milanese salad

Not enough truffles?

Fedot

I am yours, Marus, menu

I especially appreciate

Only my life, Marusya,

Lost in the bud!

What should I do? What do i do?..

How can I get rid of my misfortune?

The king ordered me to deliver

That-FAQ-Not-Maybe!..

Marusya

Don't be sad and don't whine!

All you have to do is call out!

Well, stand in front of me

Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)

When they understood the order -

Do it this very hour!

Pause.

Well done

Sorry hostess.

This is not about us!

If only shemku al drawing -

We'd start a spin

Well, so - look as much as you want,

You'll find the devil!

Where to look and how to get

That-faq-can't-be?

After all, he is not in the world,

How much earth do not dig! ..

Marusya

Do not seek, dear friend Fedot,

I don't have much income!

Know your fate, my love,

Go hiking yourself!

Do not wander abroad

Keep yourself clean.

Don't interfere in conversations

And don't make acquaintances!

Avoid empty haze

Avoid crooked roads

Think more about health

Eat sour cream and cottage cheese! ..

Fedot

You, Marus, don't be afraid!

Formed, Marus!

I will fulfill the royal task -

And I'll be back safe!

Don't be sad without me!

Water the ficus more often!

If you like - play the balalaika,

If you like - embroider on the hoop!

Well, such a one will turn up,

Who will disturb your peace, -

I don't need to teach you

Frying pan at hand!

funny buffoon

Tsar

Is it good or bad news,

Report everything to me!

Better bitter but true

What a pleasant, but flattery!

Only if the ent is news

It will happen again - not God knows,

You are for such truth

You can sit down for ten years! ..

General

I report: a little dawn

Fedka raised the anchors!

Thank God, got rid of

From him, from the ghoul!

On the seas and egozit, -

You and I entu mug

No more threat to see!

Tsar

Well, nanny, come here,

Get to work -

Tear hair out of the crown

Those who are gray.

And what are not gray-haired,

Comb those in rows.

Yes, take it easy with a comb,

I don't have gardens there!

Nurse

Well scratch something, old devil,

When the bald head bakes ?!

You have every hair here

Must be registered!

And what do you need

Wife at this age?

After all, you, as a man,

Sorry, worthless!

Tsar

Even though I'm hairless

And I must marry!

The Shah of Persia is also bald,

And he has forty wives!

I only want one

Get yourself a wife!

Something I am in an intimate sense

And I won’t pull one? ..

Nurse

Duck at the Shah, you see,

There is a strength, and become,

And you, you dead cricket,

You can't see from under the crown!

Have you in your years

The strength is still not the same!

Save your health

After all, you are already over a hundred! ..

Tsar

Eka importance - more than a hundred!

If only the blood was thick!

They say love is submissive

Everything is literally age!

So, nanny, whatever you like,

And I'm good for business!

When all love is submissive,

Duck and I'm humble too! ..

Nurse

You, my friend, are one of those men

What is more harmless already:

They eat, they don't bite

Not to say isho worse!

To steal someone else's woman,

You have to have ardor and passion!

And now your task is

Don't go to the cemetery!

Tsar(to the general)

Well, you're silent

Do you strum medals?

Al don't you see how they rot

State prestige?

The nanny bends me into an arc,

And the minister - no goog!

You are on our defense

So fight back the enemy!

General

Duck, after all, women's courts

About men are always thin!

Don't doubt yourself

You are a lover even where!

Proud profile, firm step,

From the back - duck a clean check!

Just move the crown to the side

So that it does not hang on the ears! ..

Tsar(Nanny)

Here the minister is not my enemy,

Everything as it is said without a lie,

But he is a stupid man,

Don't look like he's a fool.

From you - one bedlam,

Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!

I've been anti-rescuing for a long time

You are not sent to us? ..

Don't spy and don't harm

And if you dare - look:

We have a conversation with you

There will be a big one ahead!

funny buffoon

Tsar

By order of the king

Fedka has departed for the seas!

In general, I left him

Melted, in other words!

In order not to live in poverty alone, -

Be my wife!

A FAQ? .. I'm a prominent man

And to the caress of a clockwork! ..

Marusya

Isho Fedot did not have time

Take a step from the gate

And the crows have flown

To Fedotov's garden!..

Tsar

You, girl, do not fool me!

They offer - take it!

Tea, to you not every evening

Widowed kings are coming!

This hour, I say

Come to the altar!

Crazed with delight

Duck sniff ammonia!

Marusya

You're better, sir

Hit on others!

Well I care - to wait for Fedot

Yes, look at the calendar!

Tsar

Marusya

Though whip me with a whip,

Even cut me with a sword, -

Everything is your wife

I won't be nothing!

Tsar

You, Marus, don't piss me off

And the conflict with me is not long!

Me the other day from Paris

The guillotine has arrived!

In the light of what I have said -

Better be my wife!

I've got nerves too

I'm not made of steel either!

Marusya

Go away, hateful, away

And do not mind yourself as husbands!

You won't leave - yes I can and

Help with a frying pan!

Tsar

Well, those at the door -

Hurry into her shackles!

Anto what kind of fashion isho -

Frying pans in the kings!

Here you will wash yourself in prison -

And get better in your mind!

How much are you, girl, don't be shy,

Let's get married by winter!

Marusya

Catch me, bastard

Lots of work needed!

Goodbye, my dear friend,

Maybe we'll see each other sometime!

(Marusya turns into a dove and flies away.)

funny buffoon

Fedot sailed for almost a year. He ate halva, ate persimmon - and kept his mind in mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not seen yet. Fedot is worried - time is running out! I decided without hysteria - I'll go to America! Fedot floats among the endless waters, in front is sunset, behind is sunrise. Suddenly, in the middle of the campaign, the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello, the ship - fuck! - and fell apart! .. The storm subsided - Fedot opened his eyes: he was lying on a wave, completely unharmed. He sees - the island sticks out like a float. I got to the shore, I thought - America. He took out a map, checked it - but no, not America! Buyan Island, be it cursed - maybe there is a flaw in the map ?! Fedot is sitting hiccuping, delving into the situation ...

Fedot

How at the whim of the king

I did not swim across the seas, -

Haven't seen a lousy place

Frankly speaking!

Well, the island is just melancholy! -

All stone and sand.

And as long as the eye suffices -

Who is hungry for food -

Let him come here:

I have a lot of food

I have her pounds!

Here, for example, get

Straight from the kalachi oven

Here's a roast turkey

Here is cherry plum compote!

Here are sausages, here are cheeses,

Here is half a centner of caviar,

Here are the Caribbean lobsters

Here are the Don sturgeons!..

(Tables with food appear.)

Fedot

Give, master, honor,

Show what you are!

Somehow indecent to the guest

Eat and drink alone!

Tea, on your island

It's more fun to be bored together -

Where do we scatter the cards?

I would be glad yes my portrait

It's a secret for me too!

I hesitate sometimes,

Either I exist or I don't!

I have countless worries:

There is food, but nothing to eat,

There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff,

There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!

So tired for a thousand years

What is not a joy white light!

Thought it was strangling -

Again, no neck!

Fedot

Hey meeting! That is,

I managed to get you

That-Faq-On-White-Light -

Actually-Impossible-Be!

What, yearning and blues,

Life to waste in vain, -

Maybe you can swim with me

Before the racist king?..

Take a walk, freshen up

Make friends with the white light!

What a life without adventures -

I am useful prospects

Never against!

I'm ready even for the bees in the hive,

If only only in co-op!

Give an order - and at least where,

At least for mining!

I will work hard for nothing,

No drink and no food!

I am good for any business,

I enter any door

I'll get you whatever you want

Even a shod louse! ..

Fedot

Louse, it is, of course, well?

Wow, that's good too!

But on this insect

You won't swim far!

Get me a better fleet -

Ali boat, ali raft,

Since you are so skillful

In this case, a polyglot!

We are in the morning, at five o'clock,

Gotta be on the way

Because we are in Russia

Waiting already, come on! ..

funny buffoon

Meanwhile, the king does not waste time - he receives the ambassador of a cannibalistic tribe. London-Paris greased the skis, the tsar was left with thinner ambassadors! The tsar in front of the ambassador jumps like a goat: they say, here's your daughter, take her - and that's it! You know, things are really bad, since it has come to such a disaster! Well, okay, it happens even worse - if only the girl was with her husband! ..

Tsar

Good afternoon, happy hour!

We are glad to see you with us!

Believe good, salam alaikum,

Bona sir, you ist das!

Who are you from?.. How old are you?..

Are you married or not?

Don't you want with our Fraulein

Chat tete-a-tete?

Nurse

Tsar

You are a spy, that's a fact!

Whatever you blurt out - everything is out of time!

You are with all abroad

I lost contact!

I've been waiting for messengers for years

And she them - from sentsov!

For whom, then, the princess

Give in the end?

Nurse

You look him in the face

Ears apart, nose ring!

Yes, and the skin is all pockmarked,

Like a cuckoo's egg!

Even I - FAQ to hide? -

Don't go to bed with him!

Duck really our girl

For such a give? ..

Tsar

When chances are zero

Looking for gold in the ashes!

The girl is also in the sense of faces

Far from creme brulee!

Any one will do for her now -

Though humpbacked, even pockmarked,

Because like pockmarked

We are not bursting with a crowd! ..

Nurse

Well, he's from the wild

What he sees, he eats!

Remember the topaz vase?

Gobbled up, Herod, - that's the cross!

If only he asked, the villain,

Salmon and mushrooms -

Duck, after all, he eats FAQ,

From porcelain to nails!

Tsar

Whatever he asks - he is visiting!

Bring everything to him in handfuls!

Tea, we have no shortage

Not in porcelain, not in nails?

If salmon disgusts him,

Let him eat whatever he wants.

Look at a full stomach

And he will seduce the princess! ..

Nurse

Yes, ambassadors - give them at least poison! -

Everyone will eat for free!

Maybe he's safe

But let them follow him!

You tell him, like a father-in-law:

Eat, they say, everything, but know, they say, honor!

Because he's on fire

And the princess can eat!

Princess

So that with this - yes, go out into the world?

Well, pipes! .. Well, no! ..

He's so unassuming

Duck isho and the cannibal! ..

Let him go, troglodyte,

Makes me all gold,

No reciprocal passion

He won't excite me!

Tsar

You sent something call back

Yes, stay with him vis-a-vis

And be patient a little -

There will come to love!

If entot troglodyte

Your appearance will be seen, -

He will forever lose

An appetite for cannibalism!

Princess

How much, dad, you are noah, -

The choice is mine!

I'll get poisoned, but I won't

Cannibal wife!

But if it comes

With the proposal of Fedot, -

For me of the candidates

Anthony will be the one! ..

Tsar

Charged like a hoopoe -

Whatever the word - then Fedot!

Apart from Fedot, no

No sorrows, no worries!

Your Fedot is now at the bottom,

In the oceanic depths

And - since the drowned -

Doesn't need a wife!

Princess

When that's the way it is -

I refuse to eat!

Here's mine, papa

Political revenge!

I won't eat caviar

As usual, by the bucket, -

And on the basis of exhaustion

I'll get sick and die!

Tsar

Wherever you spit, wherever you poke, -

From ministers to relatives -

All solid freethinkers,

L. Filatov

TALE FOR THE THEATER

(Based on Russian folklore)

funny buffoon

Believe it or not, but lived in this world Fedot the Sagittarius, daring
Well done. Fedot was neither handsome, nor ugly, neither ruddy, nor pale, nor rich, nor
poor, neither in scab, nor in brocade, and so, in general. Service at Fedot - fishing yes
hunting. Tsar - game and fish, Fedot - thanks. Guests in the palace - how
seeds in cucumber. One from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and all
give it a go! One - lobsters, another - squids, the third - sardines, and
one earner! Once they give him an order: a little light in the morning to come to
yard. The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist, and the malice in him is agromad
volume. He looks at Fedka like a canker looks at a radish. On Fedka out of fear
his shirt got wet, his temples pounded, his belly rumbled, then, as they say, and
fairy tale start...

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.

Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.

You can't - who to blame? --
I must execute you.
State business -
Are you catching the thread?

Something I don't understand
With my mind? ..
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.

Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I will not get a partridge -
There must be war.

To the English ambassador
From hunger I was not angry -
I won't spare my head
I'll provide a spread! ..

funny buffoon

The word of the king is harder than crackers. Send on a bear - you go on a bear, and
where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish, or sword and rack. Bypassed Fedot
a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a capercaillie! Tired, no
urine, and it's the night. Though with an empty bag, but it's time to go home. Suddenly he sees...
a bird, a forest dove, sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
Whatever, yes food!

And to put it bluntly,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Dove - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse! ..

dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me,
Benefits in entom not a penny -
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine
And what kind of meat is in me,
So, not meat, only laughter! ..

Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was promulgated
For the birds to speak
Human language?

dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light
I will be your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you! ..

What a parable - I do not understand? ..
Okay, get in my bag! ..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what!

funny buffoon

Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means, into the turtledove. sits unhappy,
hung his head. And there are serious reasons for the torment. The hunt failed
at our Fedot. And the king does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once. Fedot sits,
grieves, says goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest dove.
Look - and in the middle of the gore, instead of that turtledove, there is a red-haired girl, slender,
like a tree!