Networking for introverts reviews. Quotes from Devorah Zack's "Networking for Introverts"

Of course, "be yourself" is a hackneyed phrase. But the main thing is to be ready, Kane said.

Think in advance how you will present yourself in order to be remembered by the interlocutor. Make a list of questions you can ask and topics that you can easily keep up the conversation.

As with any relationship, balance is important in networking. Professionals say that it is important not only to present yourself correctly, but also to listen carefully to the stories that others are sharing. It often turns out that you and the person you are talking to have much more in common than you think.

“If you are genuinely interested in the person you are talking to, you are guaranteed success,” says Victor Drain, 27, product manager at Eze Software Group. Drane believes that a lot of his career has come from the connections he has made during his internships and previous jobs.

Less is Better

Many introverts don't want to open their mouths until they think things through carefully. Zach believes this trait can help build deeper connections.

Instead of panicking at the thought that you are about to meet 20 people, try to approach a couple of those who are most useful to you - and, of course, find out more about them.

Ask meaningful questions and listen to the answers. Zach advises:

“Instead of asking 'What are you doing?' Ask 'What's your favorite part of the job?'

Use the traditional approach

Professionals advise introverts to come to meetings early. If you show up too late, everyone in the group will already split into groups, and it can be difficult to break into one of them.

Kane, who has worked with people across generations, says millennials tend to have a harder time in person:

"The adorable gadgets in our pockets can be a great way to avoid interacting with people if we don't feel comfortable at the event."

However, she is convinced that if you want to succeed, you will have to invest time and energy in face-to-face communication - no technology can replace personal contact.

Your dream job won't fall from the sky if you just sit at home and press buttons, even if you send out a hundred resumes a day. Just try talking to real people, Kane advises.

Bonus: Buy a drink for the other person

“So I don’t have to tell people how good I am,” says Zach. - "They understand it themselves."

• If you are lacking in connections, attend current networking events.
• Have the other person say yes to the request for a short interview. Write personalized emails to potential contacts and mention some of the facts you've learned about them.
• Always remind yourself. General rule- write a letter within two days after the meeting. That said, you should avoid Mondays: people are overworked, and your letter may go unanswered.
• Keep in touch with classmates, classmates, and professors.
• If you are not qualified, networking will not help you much. Do your best in everything you do.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

After analyzing traditional networking techniques, the author of the book came to the conclusion that they were written for extroverts. But what about the rest of the people - those who hate noisy parties, self-promotion and boasting, and prefer to spend most of their time alone? Don't they need useful contacts and business acquaintances? Not at all. The author develops new rules - networking rules for introverts - thereby turning this art into a useful and enjoyable activity. The book contains many valuable tips and tricks that apply to networking goals, taking into account the characteristics of the temperament of introverts, and instructive examples from many years of experience make the book the truly fun reading that introverts love so much.

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened freshmen graduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would display a lot of diagrams - but don't let the audience panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts, and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I am a certified specialist in humanities, who knows little about economics, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I've never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a fitting comparison to describe the experience of the first weeks in business school: it was all like trying to learn Latin in Greek- and I didn't know Greek either. I took notes diligently, but did not understand anything that the teacher had been talking about for an hour and a half.

The natural-born falls into the same trap

anti-networker,

trying to follow all the rules of networking that are not intended at all for him. A pointless exercise. These rules can be safely thrown into the trash can, if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in foreign language... This is a book about networking, written in the language that introverts speak and understand - people who are overwhelmed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to take the exam.

By the way, I now return to Cornell every year to teach my MBA students networking skills. But I was never invited to attend the lectures on economics again.

Chapter 1

Welcome to the world of networking

Some people are willing to swear that I am an extrovert.

This opinion drives me to white heat. I stubbornly reject such accusations, but I am bombarded with a flurry of convincing examples to prove that I am wrong. “But you make a living by seminars, giving presentations in front of huge groups ... You can't help but notice that you like it! Besides, you know how to communicate with strangers ... ”And so on and so forth.

by definition

cannot be a good speaker or networker.

We will now discuss, refute and turn these misconceptions upside down.

Devora lives in Introville, but travels regularly to Extralandia to work. The future author spent her childhood profitably reading books and playing alone, and then graduated with honors from the University of Pennsylvania, receiving a bachelor's degree from the Annenberg School of Communication.

Putting her diploma to good use, she embarked on a free voyage, trying on the professions of an actress, disc jockey, maid, tap dancer, hotline operator and investigative journalist. In all these varied pursuits, she tended to speak less and do more.

Determined to radically change her life, she earned her MBA from Cornell University ( graduate School Johnson's management) and became a Distinguished Fellow. Devorah has since won a number of awards, such as the USDA's Woman Businessman of the Year, and would not mind accepting a couple of new ones.

Deborah is most interested in the nuances of personality, as well as food and shiny things. She enjoys being a consultant. (Who would have thought?) In 1996, she founded Only Connect Consulting (OCC). Deborah enjoyed working as a consultant with a huge number of confused and unable to communicate clients. Her company grows solely thanks to the recommendations of the clients.

Deborah has been teaching at Cornell University for fifteen years, lecturing on the development program leadership qualities for MBA students. In the history of the US Government's Office of Human Resources, Devora received the highest grade as Program Director.

Deborah teaches leadership, networking, presentation skills, communication, change management and team building - and then takes a break and dines alone.

The editors almost forced her to join social network Facebook. Deborah is certified for the practice of NLP and the Myers-Briggs Sociotyping Technique. He is a member of the Phil Beta Kappa Privileged Society, the American Society for Training and Development, and the Mensa Society, an organization for people with a high IQ.

She has a very patient husband and three kinesthetic sons. The family lives in a town near Washington (their home is best characterized by the word "hostel").

A well-developed network of business contacts is important for every entrepreneur, regardless of his nature. However, many introverts can find it frustrating to do what networking by definition implies - talking to a lot of strangers. Carol Roth, TV personality, entrepreneur and small business expert, shared her tips on how to connect with people if you are not very fond of talking to them.

Due to my strong character and television, many people find it difficult to believe that I am an introvert. It's much more comfortable for me to stay at home alone than to go somewhere in society. In fact, my worst nightmare is attending a massive event with a huge number of guests.

I agree that the very idea of ​​making contact with strangers and turning them into a valuable resource can be frustrating for someone. But I also often speak in public and I know firsthand how important a strong network of contacts is for an entrepreneur, so networking should be part of a business plan.

Photo: Hramovnick / Getty Images

But what about those who would be much more willing to hide in a corner than hang out with strangers?

To create a developed network of contacts is within the power of everyone - even the king of parties, even the most shy quiet - the main thing is to clearly understand the essence and goals of networking.

Here are four of mine best advice that will help introverts establish much-needed connections.

1. Plan your participation in events

If you and I are alike, then the idea of ​​meeting countless strangers is as enjoyable to you as the idea of ​​sticking a fork in your eye. However, you can make your life easier if you plan ahead. When you find out about another event that you may find useful, contact the organizers a few days before. Ask them which guest you should meet in order to succeed in meeting your goals. Ask if the organizer can introduce you in advance by e-mail or through.

Thus, on the day of the event, even if you find yourself in the same room with hundreds of strangers, you will already know exactly who you should look for and why. You don't have to start from scratch, and you can jump straight to a more detailed discussion of common interests.

2. Think about existing contacts

Friends and relatives are already a network of contacts. But many do not realize that these people can help with solving business problems and finding the right connections. If you need help solving a specific problem or finding new clients, talk to people who love you, trust you, and may have connections you never knew existed. All you need to expand your network is to be introduced to a new person.

Don't underestimate the value of other people's connections. One of my most useful contacts came from a friend who worked in a completely different industry, and I would never have imagined that he could help me find the person I needed. This useful contact turned out to be a friend of our family. If I didn’t want to ask friends and family for help - and would begin to independently assess who could help me - I would never have met that valuable person.

In addition, do not forget about the people you are closest to. Chances are, you talk every day with someone you know well enough to ask for help. A friend of mine went to the same spa for years. On one of her visits, she brought several promotional brochures for her business and asked if they could be left at the reception next to other promotional materials. This way she was able to receive several calls from people already interested in her services and avoided the need for cold calling.

3. Value quality over quantity.

Some people see the essence of networking in collecting as many business cards from people as possible. This approach not only scares any introvert, but rarely brings results. Finding a few people with whom you can develop deep, mutually beneficial relationships is far more effective than collecting thousands of business cards from people with whom you are unlikely to speak again. Therefore, even at conferences with thousands of guests, try to make new acquaintances gradually.

Photo: mangsaab / Depositphotos

Alternatively, most people take food breaks, so you can invite several people from the morning session to have lunch together. This way you create a small group of people who share common interests, and eliminate the need to name each of these people one at a time. These people may not become your lifelong friends, but at least you will know that each of the cards you receive means something to you.

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened freshmen graduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would display a lot of diagrams - but don't let the audience panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts, and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I, a graduate in the humanities with little understanding of economics, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I've never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a fitting comparison to describe the experience of my first weeks in business school: it was all like trying to learn Latin in Greek - and I didn't know Greek either. I took notes diligently, but did not understand anything that the teacher had been talking about for an hour and a half.

The natural-born falls into the same trap anti-networker, trying to follow all the rules of networking that are not intended at all for him. A pointless exercise. These rules can be safely thrown into the trash can, if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in a foreign language. This is a book about networking, written in the language that introverts speak and understand - people who are overwhelmed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to take the exam.

By the way, I now return to Cornell every year to teach my MBA students networking skills. But I was never invited to attend the lectures on economics again.

If you have an aversion to any occupation that you can live without, why don't you find something else for yourself? Why torment yourself? And why, you ask, do you need this book at all? Isn't that the same as giving a cheese omelet recipe to someone with an egg and cheese intolerance? Or should someone who suffers from a terrible hay fever surround themselves with fragrant flowers?

These are serious questions. Thanks for asking them.

As a matter of fact, I completely agree with you. Don't waste precious time on a job you hate. However, you won't get off that easy. You will not put this book back on the shelf (or close the electronic file) by declaring yourself completely incapable of networking. Because…

Now I'm going to show you an amazing trick, making networking fun and rewarding for you. No no! No hallucinogens. Sit back, turn the page and start reading. You will not regret it.

This guide starts with a thorough exploration of traditional notions of networking and ends with a complete debunking. This is what they are calling for:

More contacts = higher probability of success.

Never dine alone.

Meet new people constantly.

Try to go out to people as often as possible.

Until that day, as far as I know, books about networking were written for people of a certain kind - for those who are initially predisposed to this occupation and enjoy the prospect of eating snacks at a noisy event full of strangers.

(Right now I will prove to you that this temperament is characteristic of only 30-50 percent of the population the globe.) I'm sure the authors make this mistake unintentionally, guided by the best intentions. And I just burn with anger at the thought of it. It turns out that the authors ignore the remaining 50–70 percent of humanity. Misleading. They cheat. But the time has come to regain our rightful share of networking.

Once you get started, you will understand the need to understand and strengthen your natural inclinations. No one else will force us to go against our own nature.

What? What do you say? You don't like networking and are not at all interested in it? Does he tire you? Not helpful? Don't you have time for this? Don't you need it? Is it fake, selfish, deceitful, superficial, insidious, manipulative and useless?

Take a deep breath. Drink some water. And pull yourself together.

Introverts, constrained and unable to connect, fail in traditional networking by following advice that is not meant for them.

In my experience, people who consider themselves to be haters of networking feel they are incapable of it. In fact, you have everything to be a great networker, you just follow the wrong rules. Typical networking tips don't work for you, which is why you consider yourself a wimp in this area. You hate this lesson.

Now, finally, with the help of this book, people like you and me can learn a networking method that does not contradict their true self.

Only by what you most want to achieve in life. And nothing else.

Networking allows you to reach your potential. Do you have a big goal? Perhaps you want to find new job, get promoted, establish new professional or personal contacts, make the world a better place, gain credibility, sell goods or services, write a book, close a deal, strengthen cooperation, build a reputation for yourself, fulfill a dream or start your own business ...

Networking will lead you to your goal. In my fifteen years in the consulting industry, I have never met someone who has not benefited from learning to network, in one form or another.

What is networking? It is the art of building and maintaining mutually beneficial acquaintances.

Real networking is about connections.

The more natural you are, the more elastic and valuable dating networks you can create. You have the opportunity to learn networking methods that fit your personality and take advantage of it. A sweet introvert, tired of trying to build relationships, you will learn to interact rather than fight yourself. Your perceived flaws will now become your strengths.

Well, what do you say?

Time is your most valuable asset (unless, of course, you are a billionaire). What can be said about the benefits of this guide, which will steal hours of your precious time - and it could have been spent on many other interesting activities? So…

1. You will master a new, ultra-effective networking method, described in a simple and accessible way.

2. Get a lot practical advice, as well as take simple and logical steps, directly applicable to your networking goals.

3. Benefit from reading and studying many great examples from my many years of experience in various fields.

Take a pen or pencil, you will need them. Sit back - it will not work. Thank you for agreeing to keep me company.

Start trusting yourself, and you will immediately understand how to live.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe