How to tame emotions. How to learn to restrain emotions - advice from a psychologist, practical recommendations

Emotion is a physiological reaction to internal and external stimuli that are transmitted between people or animals, caused by events, situations. They can be either pleasant (positive) or unpleasant (negative). As a rule, negative emotions prevail over positive ones.

REASONS OF EMOTIONS

The first step is to understand why and how a person has emotions in order to be able to prepare for them. Emotions arise in any case, they cannot be avoided, they can only be controlled. And they arise due to external and internal stimuli, to which we naturally react emotionally.

It is impossible to divide irritants into those to which we react emotionally and those that do not cause us emotions, because everything we deal with in outside world and what affects us from the inside gives us emotions. It's just that in some cases we may have a moderate emotional reaction to something, while in others it is quite violent. Emotions are an innate reflex response.

Nature made a person so that he could react to certain stimuli as quickly as possible. From birth we cannot think, reflect, analyze, evaluate, compare, we need to learn this. And a person needs to react to certain stimuli immediately, as soon as he is born. In addition, conscious comprehension of something takes much more time than an instant reflex reaction to one or another stimulus.

Therefore, an emotional reaction to something is a quick reaction. She is instinctive, unconscious, primitive, reflexive, but most importantly fast. And in nature, speed is of great importance. If our primitive ancestors, having met a predator, would begin to reflect on what and how they should do, they simply would not have survived. But the emotions that they experienced at that moment, first of all, this is fear - they forced them to make quick decisions necessary to save their lives.

Therefore, in this sense, emotions are our protection against all sorts of threats to which a person must be able to react quickly. Another thing is that not in all situations they should prevail over reason. Therefore, you need to be able to pacify them.

HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS

Let's consider the main methods for controlling and managing emotions. if these are purely negative emotions - anger, anger, fear, envy, resentment, hatred, etc. - they need to be able to completely eradicate, burn out, destroy and replace them with the necessary positive qualities that give strength and dignity. Such as - calmness, patience, forgiveness, self-control, mercy, kindness and good nature, gratitude, acceptance, love.

1. First, you need to learn to at least stop, restrain yourself - not to scream in response to a provocation or an expressed offense, but to learn, before saying something (yelling) in response, at least count to ten or take a deep breath - exhale 3 times. If you managed to do it - this is already a great victory !. The next step is to extinguish this or that emotion, at first - at least to stop, block it. This allows you to catch your breath and still think with your head before you "blurt out" something without thinking.

At first, you may have to quickly get out of the situation (run out of the room or from the office), so as not to break loose and not break firewood, calm down to breathe, drink some water, think about what is an adequate answer, then go in and say what you planned.

2. The method of switching yourself! Switch yourself to something else, that's pure psychological method and it is suitable for people with a good imagination. For example, imagine that a person does not swear at you, but reads poetry to you, and thank him for every word, saying “I love you very much too”. Sometimes it can help a lot, but not everyone works, this method is more suitable for fun and creative people. It allows you to prevent the awakening of negative emotions in them.

3. Method of switching another or shock therapy! One friend applied. The boss started yelling at her in the elevator, she listened, listened, and when he stopped talking, she asked calmly and smiling - "Evgeny Olegovich, do you want me to sing a song for you?", - he was taken aback, did not say a word in response, went out on the wrong floor. He didn't yell at her anymore. This is from the category of preventing negative emotions in oneself and blocking them in another. But this is still a method of control and management.

4. The method of self-hypnosis! Self-hypnosis has 2 modes - normal and esoteric. Esoteric is for those who have mastered the energy techniques of self-hypnosis and reprogramming. Such a method, if a negative emotion has risen, allows not only to extinguish it, but also to immediately rewrite it, to a positive reaction through self-hypnosis - for example, burn anger and reveal, strengthen benevolence, or destroy fear and strengthen fearlessness and courage.

Simplified self-hypnosis technique - these are affirmations, that is, pronouncing certain programs to oneself: “I strengthen calmness”, “I control myself”, “I am calm, independent and invulnerable”, etc.

5. Yogic Breath - Pranayama! Breath of fire and other types of yoga breathing, including - are designed to learn how to control emotions. These same techniques, with their regular practice, allow you to learn how to burn out negative emotions and establish inner peace. The wise men say - "Peace is the door to Paradise"... So try it, it's worth it.

6. Meditation techniques, practices! Meditation allows you to learn how to do several important things:

BUT) Develop a state of deep peace and relaxation in order to gradually transfer it throughout your life.

IN) In a comfortable meditative state, learn to raise your negative emotions (through modeling conflict situation), consider your anger, for example, see its cause and remove it altogether, that is, reprogram your usual reaction.

WITH) Find stronger and more worthy reactions and master them through modeling the necessary situation in meditation. Moreover, this can be done many times until the reaction becomes stable and begins to automatically work out in real life.

7. Technique Identification! Put on the image of some chosen hero or heroine, completely, imagine yourself as him (the hero) and act, react in everything exactly like him. Ask yourself, how would a real Knight or a true Lady act in this situation, imagine this further, play this worthy role to the end. It works, however, this technique is also more suitable for creative or spiritual people with imagination.

8. Prayer! For believers. When you feel that you are about to be pissed off and you see that you can not restrain yourself (you are losing control) - close your eyes and start praying, forgive God, take away your and his (second person's) negative from the Light Forces, and give you in this situation, what is most needed (strength, patience, benevolence, the ability to forgive the offender, wisdom, etc.). It works! If you can do all this without closing your eyes, pray with open ones. If you feel that you cannot withstand the negative pressure, you will get out of the situation (leave the room for 5 minutes and put yourself in order).

9. Simulation of the situation. Let's consider some more good way preparing for situations that can cause strong emotions in a person that are difficult to cope with. Try to simulate these situations in your imagination, immerse yourself in them and consider several options for your behavior, which should be as deliberate and effective as possible.

Do this several times, like an actor in front of a mirror, train your psyche so that it is ready for the most likely scenarios in your life. And then all those events for which you prepare in this way will not take you by surprise, which means that you will be able to cope with emotions much better.

Here it is important to ensure that your thought is faster than your feelings. There is no problem yet, but you are already solving it - you use your brain to be one step ahead of your reactions to certain situations, and not one step behind, as is the case with emotions. Notice how easily we succumb to emotions when dealing with unfamiliar situations. And why? And because we do not have a ready-made answer to the question that life poses before us.

To prevent this from happening - imagine all those possible situations in which you may find yourself and find an answer to them, or rather a few that will help you understand these situations. In other words, start starting your thought process before there is a reason for emotions to arise. Start controlling them before they appear.

10. Rest. One cannot but mention rest as one of the ways to control emotions. A person needs to rest well so as not to be too emotional, especially irritable. After all, when he gets tired, he no longer has enough resources to think about certain things, and he slips into emotions, as more, as we have found out, a simple form of reaction to various stimuli. Therefore, the more you get tired, the more the quality of your thinking decreases, with the help of which you can process the information coming to you, and not just react to it.

Well, it seems to be simple and understandable, nevertheless, many people do not give rest of great importance and is often neglected. They can work a lot and have little rest, and then on emotions, due to fatigue, make a bunch of different mistakes, the harm from which can significantly exceed the benefits of their shock work.

But this is not always obvious, which is why many people often do not take their vacation seriously, especially its most important form - sleep. So I suggest everyone who has little rest to reconsider their views on this issue. People who have good rest, people who get enough sleep are more balanced.

11. Disidentification with your Self. A way to help you control yourself and your emotions in the most difficult situations- This is the ability to abstract from your personality in order, so to speak, to look at yourself from the outside. To do this, you need to disidentify with your Self. Disidentification with your Self is a view of yourself as stranger with whom what you observe in your life happens.

Sometimes it is even useful to imagine yourself as a different person, that is, to deliberately split your personality and from the position of the second person to understand the problems of the first person. This is similar to dissociative identity disorder, only in this case it does not happen by itself, as in the case of a mental disorder, but absolutely consciously, when a person invents a new personality for himself.

In this case, the person will not get sick with this disorder. Its meaning is not to experience certain events, feelings, emotions too totally, but to look at them from the outside. This method is well suited for those situations when a person is very, very bad, very painful and suffers a lot, so he can no longer remain the person with whom he identifies himself.

The split personality occurs precisely on this basis. Therefore, it is better to do this split yourself, consciously, than to wait until your psyche breaks down and you get an uncontrollable mental disorder.

12. Active physical exercise! They always help, for burning negative - good physical activity. Go to the gym to beat a punching bag, do 50 push-ups (for women 20), or sit down. Run on a treadmill for 20 minutes with intensive. In general, if it has accumulated and there is no more urine to endure - go and throw it off, burn all the negativity in training. It works! Athletes who train to exhaustion, up to 7 sweat, are usually very calm people, without negative emotions, because all their negativity is burned out in training.

It is impossible to live without emotions. But you can live by controlling them. Be the master of your emotions - you will become the master of your life.

An urgent and painful question for many! There is so much emotional people that with their emotions, like an uncontrollable weapon, they tear, destroy themselves and the people around them, especially if these are absolutely negative ones, such as anger, anger, hatred, etc. About the nature of Emotions and what it is - read.

Any scout, diplomat, good politician, professional athlete, surgeon, aristocrat, or just a worthy self-respecting person will clearly explain to you why you need to be able to control your emotions and manage them. Because the success of each of them directly depends on it.

Imagine what would happen if each of these people did not know how to control themselves and could not control emotions:

The scout would have been split on the second day, in the first non-ordinary situation.

An athlete who does not know how to cope with his own anxiety would not be able to control his body as needed and, most likely, would be injured instead of a medal. The surgeon would have killed the patient with his scalpel in trembling hands.

A politician all the time would break down and cheat on every provocation, get upset, nervous, lose face, and with it the support, reputation and trust of people, voters, and the electorate.

An aristocrat in such cases, in the old days, lost his Honor and Dignity, and with them the right to enter the high society, into the circle of the elite of society, the right to appear at balls and high-ranking receptions. And sometimes, due to unworthy behavior, an aristocrat could lose his title, titles, honor of the whole family, and even life.

An ordinary person loses no less than a politician, surgeon, athlete or diplomat if he does not know how to control emotions.

What does a person lose when they do not know how to control emotions?

1. Joy and a positive state when negative emotions provoke him, take possession of him and destroy good condition spirit.


Anger and irritation are among the most powerful, and moreover unpleasant, emotions. How can we learn to control ourselves when everything around seems to be only happening with the aim of annoying us? We can not always control our mood, and also the state of other people and the events that take place do not depend on us. Irritation is a normal reaction to something that a person would not like to face.

It can be both physiological, for example, the reaction of the skin to unpleasant tissue, and emotional, when we are irritated by someone's manner of speaking. How to learn to control our emotions when we are forced not to show ours true feelings? Let's consider several ways.


Use deep breathing to overcome your anger.

This will help take your mind off strong emotions and will be the first step to get back on track. After the most intense emotions have subsided, try not to think about the reasons for the irritation. In the meantime, when you have recovered a little from the overwhelming passions and complete tranquility, there is a small buffer. During this time, angry thoughts may still return. Therefore, try not to be distracted by them and do breathing exercises and relaxation again.

For believers, a method such as prayer is suitable.

If you are in adversity, reciting even the simplest prayers will quickly help you feel secure. You can memorize your favorite prayer in advance. Meditation can also serve as an alternative to prayer. However, it must be remembered that these spiritual practices are still different from each other.

Meditation is a technique aimed at calming the mind, withdrawing from the situation. It has a much greater effect when practiced for a long time. But focusing on something in a state of strong emotion also has a good effect. The mind switches, and with it negative thoughts gradually go away.

To control your emotions, take a break from your worries.

When feelings begin to manifest themselves in full force, it's time to turn on soothing music in your headphones or pay attention to some unfinished work project. You can pause and play your favorite computer game. Or call an old friend who always knew how to cheer you up. Humor is also a reliable way to remove negative emotions.

Work on developing willpower.

This quality will be useful to you in other areas of life. But in terms of control over the emotional state, it is simply irreplaceable. Remove the phrase "I can't" from your vocabulary. Whenever you face difficulties, say to yourself the accusatory "I don't." By doing this each time, you will gradually be able to regain control over your own life. Including, over the experiences of anger and irritation.


Use emotions as additional motivators.

For example, if you are angry about an employee’s misbehavior at work, turn your worries to your advantage. Instead of drowning endlessly in thoughts about what he is doing, transfer the energy of your emotions to work on your skills and abilities. In a normal state, it is not easy to budge and start working on yourself, and the potential of negative emotions is so great that it will serve as a good impetus for development.

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Show respect.

If the reason for the resentment is a person, especially a close relative or work colleague, do not rush to show your ego. Try to treat this person with respect and courtesy. Not all people who annoy and anger us may be completely incapable of making a sound assessment of the situation. When you approach them with a sincere desire to improve the situation, there is a chance to open the door for new communication, cooperation and even trust.

Determine the reasons.

An emotional response cannot come out of nowhere. Analyze what specifically triggers your experience. If the anger is caused by the behavior of another person, try to calmly talk to him, find out the reasons for the situation. Allow yourself and others to be heard and understood.

Plan your vacation.

This point is mandatory, since it is impossible to learn how to control anger and irritation if you do not periodically give yourself a break. In this case nervous system may simply not be able to withstand overloads. And so that she can cope with daily stress productively, rest is essential. Spend at least one day a week practicing your favorite hobby. If you are an outgoing person, arrange a meeting with friends. In general, organize your schedule so that there is time in it for those activities from which you can draw strength of mind.

Anger is one of the most difficult emotions, because it can affect both health and the world that surrounds us. To prevent its destructive effect, use the described methods, and sooner or later you will be able to gain complete control over your feelings.

- This an integral part of the human being, they make us human, show that we have feelings.

Most importantly, they can be used to determine how a person is feeling at the moment.

But not always an emotional expression is a plus... You need to be able to control your emotions and feelings. Let's find out how to do it.

The ability to control yourself

Why doesn't everyone have the ability to control their emotions?

Every person has emotions and feelings. They are of two types: positive and negative.

But it is not always necessary to express them fiercely and vividly, even positive ones, not to mention the second type. Sometimes it is inappropriate, it can be bad for relationships, work, etc.

Therefore, it is important to learn to control yourself and manage your emotions. But as practice shows, this is not so easy to do.

Not everyone can boast perfect self-control and complete control over the situation. After all, we are all different and our reactions are also different. Not everyone can immediately pull themselves together and hide what they feel at the moment.

But you need not only to learn how to mask and restrain emotions, but also not to break down on others.

To achieve the result, it is worth practicing special techniques that will help even the one who, as they say, "Everything is written on the face".

Emotional regulation of behavior - what is it?

What is this concept in psychology?

Our emotions motivate us to a certain pattern of behavior.

Everyone has different emotions can manifest themselves in different ways, but the meaning remains the same.

This or that emotion will be similarly expressed in everyone. This is called a form of behavior.

Regulation of behavior is due to emotions, but at the same time, it exists in opposition to these same emotions. All volitional actions are performed in spite of human emotions, all actions are done in spite of any feelings and sensations.

The lower the level of this self-regulation in a person, the more his emotions will take possession of him. That is, the emotional regulation of behavior is the ability to control oneself, no matter what.

How to learn to restrain your emotions and feelings?

To learn how to control your emotions and feelings, you need to master certain techniques that with regular training will give a positive result.

Anger considered the most powerful human emotion, it destroys everything in its path. Anger destroys a person not only from the inside, but also can harm relationships with others.

But you can restrain your emotions if you know how.


Ways and techniques of self-regulation of the state

We are all human and we all have emotions. But sometimes these emotions are significant make life difficult for us.

You cannot restrain your feelings all the time, the accumulation of negative emotions is fraught with bad consequences not only for health, but also for loved ones.

For example, if every time someone at work causes continuous negativity, it accumulates and one day the anger will develop into real anger, which is not very good. Also, a person who is under constant stress, can break down on loved ones.

So that negative emotions do not greatly affect life, you need to learn to see them, and then live them wisely and let them go so that they do not carry anything bad in your life and are not reflected in relationships and health.

You cannot "swallow" everything that makes you unhappy, that. Therefore, it is important to learn self-regulation.

This will help certain methods that are aimed directly at making a person learned to control my emotional condition.

Training

Now there are a huge number of the most diverse lectures, trainings and seminars, which are aimed at self-regulation of the emotional state.

Such events are usually conducted by people who have a positive experience in this matter. Different trainings may have a different program, it all depends on the person who conducts it.

But they have one common goal- to teach the audience to independently control their emotions, to manage them correctly.

Usually the training begins with an introduction, it can be a small lecture, voicing the main questions that need to be answered. Then everyone gets to know each other, introduces themselves, can even talk about their problem and how it prevents them from living.

It is filled with varied games to help people practice controlling their emotional state.

During practice, all participants can be divided into several teams, if conditions require it.

Emotion control techniques

Some people find it very difficult to contain their emotions, or at least manage them correctly. But you need to do this, because not everyone likes being too emotional.

Often, people who find it difficult to control their emotions find it difficult in a team, especially those whose work is closely related to society.

Such activities require a lot of emotional costs. But feelings are not always positive, so it is advisable to leave extra negative with you and not show it.

How to cope with yourself at the right time?

At the level of the body

At the level of consciousness

The most effective way is to "pause the conversation." If there are feelings of irritation, anger, anger, etc., then the best option would be to simply ask to postpone the conversation for a while.

Thus, you can buy time for yourself to think carefully about everything and find the right words.

Application of imagination

Techniques using imagination:

Our imagination is considered a pretty powerful weapon in the fight against emotional control, it gives unlimited space:


External control

There are situations when feelings just go wild and it becomes difficult to restrain them.

If you have any leaf at hand, then you can tear it into small pieces, squeeze or crush it, in general, do what calms you down.

If it is not possible to do this manipulation, then you can draw some abstract drawings in a notebook while trying to push the pen / pencil as hard as possible. Only you should try to do it as discreetly as possible for your interlocutor.

Maybe, what you love can comfort you... For example, you can drink your favorite drink, eat a treat, or listen to music. In general, do what makes you a little bit that always.

Exercises

During unpleasant situations, a person usually has "written on his face" his attitude to the circumstances.

It is known that the emotional and physical state is linked. Therefore, it is worth controlling both.


If it is difficult to control your emotional state, then this can be easily learned. A range of specific techniques and exercises will help everyone be more restrained in your emotions, or, on the contrary, show them more.

How to learn to control emotions and not succumb to provocations:

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Today, controlling your emotions at work is considered more than just good form. In some companies and industries, self-control is necessary condition for hiring. What it really costs, and how to control your emotions at work without harming the psyche, will tell Women's magazine Charla.

The special features of “unobtrusive Russian service” have long disappeared into the past: nowadays you rarely see a seller standing behind the counter “in the pose of a sugar bowl” and yelling at a customer. Large firms that serve clients and have large teams educate their employees through a variety of corporate trainings and seminars. As a result, we are increasingly greeted with polite smiles and a friendly attitude. Employees within the team seem to effortlessly maintain impartiality and restraint.

As already stated, restraint and ability to manage emotions in our time is a good form. In some areas, employees are required to smile and have a positive attitude towards customers (salespeople, waiters, etc.). In other areas, on the contrary, it is necessary to behave impartially and it is better not to show any emotions at all (doctors, lawyers, etc.).

According to special studies, the suppression of emotions is quite exhausting and suppressing the psyche, and ostentatious friendliness is given a little easier than the eternal "poker face".

But we are all living people. Sometimes excessive demands or unfair reproaches from the authorities can bring us to tears. The stupidity of colleagues and the nagging of clients make you want to yell, bang your fist on the table, or even go on to more radical actions. It is clear that even if we manage to contain such reactions with an effort of will, it takes up a lot of energy. And if such cases are repeated and repeated day after day?

The same studies have shown that even simply staying calm at work is so exhausting that the work itself becomes less productive by the middle of the day. What can we say about the body's reaction to the constant suppression and containment of anger or resentment?

So what, give free rein to emotions and smash everything around to smithereens, you ask? If this were possible and would not entail the payment of claims for damaged property and injuries, then yes, it would be nice for our psyche. But besides the listed troubles, such behavior can attract followers ... and then the world around will turn into chaos.

What to do? Learn to competently restrain yourself, consciously control outbursts of anger and resentment at the initial stage, learn to give free rein to feelings away from prying eyes. Psychologists argue that the essence of controlling emotions is not about successfully suppressing them, but about controlling them. Unclear? Let's try it easier.

If you are pissed off, and at the same time you keep an imperturbable face, restrain your feelings and do not give them any outlet at all, this cannot be called ability to control emotions... If you are trying to figure out why someone else’s act or words hurt you so much, admit to yourself that this person “got you” and know the ways to “let off steam” - this is control and management.

That is, the essence of control is as follows: you need to admit for yourself that you feel something at all, and not suppress any feelings. You need to admit to yourself that you have now experienced negative emotions and not blame yourself for this. It is required to figure out in the most thorough way why this particular situation or person caused just such emotions. Give your emotions a way out.

How to control your emotions at work: irritation

No matter how hard we try to keep the Christian commandments, we will not be able to “love” all our neighbors indiscriminately. There will always be someone who will annoy us just one with their appearance, without any, it would seem, reasons.

If there is such a person in your environment and you have to constantly contact with him (that is, you cannot simply not communicate with him), psychologists advise first of all to try to understand what in himself or in his behavior annoys you so much. It is not easy. Because some stimuli act as if gradually, not succumbing to simple analysis. But this is necessary to clarify the situation.

If you managed to identify the cause, it is not at all forbidden to report it to a colleague who acts so badly on you. Just talking and finding out the reasons for his behavior is enough to stop him annoying you. If you can't immediately understand the reason, try to look closely at the person, learn more about him, put yourself in his place. Then it will be easier to find the irritant. Or maybe you learn something about him that will distract you from irritable thoughts about him, and you will stop reacting that way.

In any case, it is important to understand that any work on oneself, how, in our case, to learn to control emotions at work, is a daily and painstaking work, which will take a lot of time and effort. If you don't give a chance to laziness and are truly motivated to succeed, you will succeed.

Psychologists believe that even people whose irritability is due to temperament (read: nature) may well learn to control themselves. And this must be done, otherwise everyday irritation can develop into a stronger and more destructive feeling - anger.

How to control your emotions at work: anger

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions and is very difficult to control. Suppressing anger takes a lot of energy and still cannot be said to be completely successful in the end.

If you happen to be angry, you probably remember how you felt at the boiling point and as it cooled down. Emotions are ready to splash over the edge, consciousness does not reason, does not analyze the causes and consequences. Hands tremble, legs buckle, eyes are looking for someone to "break away" and throw out bursting feelings. When the anger passes, there is a reaction: lethargy, emptiness, drowsiness. What kind of productive work can we talk about here?

The work on controlling anger must also start with yourself. First of all, psychologists advise you to understand what feeling you are really experiencing, is it really anger? Maybe this is fear or another feeling, which, as it were, is disguised as anger and anger? Then it is also good to understand the real reasons for the anger and analyze the situation.

Anger is the emotion that needs to be thrown out, otherwise it will devour you from the inside. Of course, this clearly should not be done, but you can turn your feelings in a slightly different direction. For example, connect your imagination and imagine a vivid picture of the reprisal against the culprit of your anger.

Imagine how you rebuff him, do not be afraid of fantasies, the brighter they are, the faster you will get rid of the negativity.

If there is no way to go out and indulge in fantasies at the moment, and you feel that you will lose your temper, try to just speak quieter and slower, follow this on purpose, focus your attention on the rhythm of speech and the pitch of your voice. It can cool your anger, help you switch slightly, and smooth out your emotions. If there is an opportunity to retire, try to relieve psychological stress with the help of: do some exercises, just climb the stairs several times at a fast pace. Physical activity is generally very desirable for those who experience and at the same time are forced to hide negative emotions on a daily basis.

You've probably heard that in Japan, in many large corporations, full-length portraits of bosses are installed. These "manuals" are designed so that any employee can express to the face of his superiors everything that he thinks about him. Or even cut it once.

At first glance, it seems that this is pretty wild. But psychologists say that this is a great way out of the situation. After all, if you look at it, the boss is a person even more busy and burdened with responsibilities than you. He has a lot more stressful situations and annoying factors than yours. That is, he often simply does not have time to consciously control his actions, words, etc.

In a good company, of course, bosses are quite literate in this regard and trained. control your emotions at work, but they are also people and sometimes they can accidentally break loose. And they don't have time to talk to you, to explain something, to apologize. Therefore, they do not mind at all that the employees dealt with their, shall we say, second "me".

But splashing out emotions with the help of assault is, rather, the prerogative of men. Women are softer and more vulnerable creatures. This does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing anger, as much as they can! But for many of them, the intensity of emotions leads to banal tears.

How to control your emotions at work: tears

Tears are very difficult to contain. If we can close our jaws tightly so as not to say too much or clench our fists in our pockets so as not to let them enter, then it is almost impossible to force ourselves not to cry.

First of all, again, psychologists advise, you need to understand why you have exactly such a reaction to what is happening, for what reason you cannot control yourself? Maybe it's all to blame for long-term stress, extreme fatigue due to the large amount of work that has been hanging on you lately, feeling unwell, illness, some kind of anxiety not related to work?

When the cause is found, it is required to deal with it and eliminate it as soon as possible. Never allow yourself to think that it is you who are to blame for being offended and brought to tears, do not blame yourself for this. Of course, an unrestrained person, accustomed to not hiding emotions, most often looks for and finds exactly the object that allows him to be treated in this way. That is, the screamer subconsciously feels that you will allow him, he feels your vulnerability and unwillingness to fight back. But you are not to blame for this. It is his choice and his fault, not yours at all. However, you cannot leave everything as it is.

If you react the way he expects, he will continue to terrorize you. You should change your demeanor, not give him the pleasure of seeing your pain and tears, resentment.

Easy to say but difficult to do. And here psychologists suggest several simple ways to calm the tears that have come and not let yourself cry. Firstly, since you know how things can end, you need to be ready for this. From the very beginning, try to distance yourself from what is happening, to observe the situation from the outside. Let the offender yell or hurt his health, and you try not to ponder over his words, not to take them personally.

Try also to imagine him in some funny situation, you can even have fun in your thoughts, or even laugh out loud.

If you feel like you cannot “take the punch” and tears are close, turn your full attention to breathing. Try to breathe more deeply and not very deeply, focus on this, do not let your feelings take over and knock you out of rhythm. You can drink water, counting every sip you drink - it will distract you. These methods are also well suited if the reason for your tears is not a person, but some specific situation that deprives you of mental balance.

Here are just some of the most simple ways curb feelings and tried to explain why it is important to control your emotions at work, and not suppress them. For more in this direction, of course, it is worthwhile to study the literature, maybe consult a psychologist or sign up for special courses.

The most important thing is to acknowledge the problem, to understand its importance for your mental and even physical health. This will be the first step to the ability to control yourself and competently cope with your emotions.

Alexandra Panyutina

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