Get rid of fear and anxiety orthodoxy. How to get rid of nervousness, forgetfulness and excitement? Reverend Isaac the Syrian

We all understand what a contagious disease is. And we try not to go where we see the spread of some kind of infection. Prudence says: you will get infected. However, while acting prudently in the physical realm, very often we act recklessly in the spiritual realm.

A person with evil thoughts is a source of spiritual infection. He is sick with a kind of spiritual flu and can re-infect many. When we communicate with those who condemn and slander someone, we very often sit and agree. At the very least, we remain silent. But we do not block the mouth of another person. Interviews with people who are crafty and evil in their thoughts inevitably end in spiritual infection.

We need to remember the patristic teaching that the grace of God is removed from a person who carries within himself evil thoughts and condemnation. Bitter and sweet water do not flow from the same fountain (James 3:11). You and I remember that bad associations corrupt morals, that you will be with the reverend reverend, you will be depraved with the obstinate(Ps. 17:26).

Therefore, we should shun people who have murmuring, perverted, crafty thoughts. How to do it? In practical terms, this is quite easy.

First degree - do not participate in condemnation and grumbling. Are you unable to leave? Do you have a close relative or boss in front of you? Circumstances require your presence? Let it be so, but you can always not participate in an evil conversation.

Second Degree - Try Gently stop this thread:"Let's not talk to you on this topic", "Let's refrain from slandering our neighbor."

The third degree - when you feel that you are not able to bear the evil that others say, you can withdraw unnoticed. Under some pretext to go to another room, interrupt the conversation, referring to some business.

If you know behind a person that he constantly condemns others, gets angry, gossips, stay away from him. Because just as it is impossible not to get dirty in the midst of solid pitch, so it is impossible not to get dirty spiritually among people who censure and slander their neighbors.

But how do we be healed if we are already infected with angry thoughts? As the Holy Fathers teach, the cure for the irritable part of the soul is love. We can transform all the evil that we heard about a person and accepted into our hearts into love for him. Having realized it, we can show love for our neighbor, pray for him: “Help him,

God". Or - suddenly the Lord provides an opportunity to do good to this person.

So, our first instruction is to avoid those who speak evil. And the second - if we are infected, to heal - to transform our evil thoughts into good thoughts, pray for a person about whom evil is spreading, and provide him with every good.

Avoid quarrels with superiors, subordinates and peers

Quarrels and strife indicate, first of all, on human madness, on the clouding of the mind between the disputing parties and the absence of peace between the parties to the dispute.

Therefore disputes and contentions are of three kinds. These are disputes and bickering between subordinates in relation to superiors, discords sown by superiors in relation to their subordinates, and disputes that flare up in teams, in families and in general in any communities, between equal people.

When an employee argues with a boss, it is disobedience. There is no power other than from God. Our Lord Jesus Christ, through this leader, tries to reason with His subordinates. What is required? Listen to the leader and try to act in a way that does not cause criticism in relation to yourself. And every boss is a servant of God, no matter what he is. According to Senka and a hat. What kind of subordinates - the Lord sends such a boss. Therefore, laughing at the boss, people laugh at themselves. They slander themselves because they do not understand that the Lord puts before them a mirror in the face of their leader, showing their vices and shortcomings. From a subordinate, only one thing is always required - with humility to do at work what is due to him. To say: “Lord, Thy will, what I was commanded, then I must fulfill, I accept this not as a simple instruction, but as obedience to You.” And then everything falls into place.

The other plane is attitude of the boss towards his subordinates. It happens that a subordinate is constantly trying to prove something, to have his own opinion and to become one step with his boss. It is clear that such a co-worker violates the hierarchy of God. How prudent to act as a leader in this case? Simply do not impose your point of view, but calmly seek the fulfillment of what is due in the service. If you demand that this subordinate do something more than that, you can either sow anger or hatred, especially in your soul, or cause discord and quarrel.

A much more difficult situation is when a quarrel, a scandal, some kind of discord between equal people. As equals, they can express all kinds of barbs and insults; a chain reaction begins, and the spirit of the devil descends into one or another collective. Someone has to stop this. Let us remember how prudently St. Silouan of Athos acted. Most of the time he was silent and listened to what was being said. As a rule, we try to participate in all the word disputes that arise around us. It usually starts out harmlessly enough. The topic raised can be about anything - the state of the country, political authorities, wages, medicine - but our pride very often leads to the fact that we try to insist on our opinion. It must be remembered - if the spirit of contentiousness lives in you, this indicates a secret pride. The man is humble avoid any dispute and will give the disputant the right of primacy, if this is not of a fundamental nature. He will say: “Let it be as you say, as you see fit.” Unless, of course, the case does not concern the protection of the neighbor or the weak, when a person can and should raise his voice in his defense.

If we do not avoid disputes, clarifying relationships, discussing controversial topics, then we will definitely commit a sin, even a few sins. First, we will commit violence against another person - our interlocutor. Secondly, if we express our opinion for the second and third time, we can at this moment fall into irritation and anger. The Holy Fathers tell us the following: when you expressed one opinion twice and twice it was not accepted, shut your mouth and do not speak out again. Because this is followed by anger, irritation, annoyance and yours, and the one who wants to refute what was said. Your victory will be pyrrhic, it will bring nothing but the destruction of the heart, the devastation of the soul and discord with the person before whom we have achieved primacy.

Therefore, dear ones, if you want to save your soul so that it is not devastated, I give you this advice: in no case do not enter into any kind of disputes, by all means avoid both them and those people who are a source of contention. Of course, the devil will be dissatisfied, he will immediately begin to prick like needles: “Why are you silent? Why don't you speak your mind?" - “Don’t, - say, - I’m a small person, I don’t understand these things, you are educated people, argue without me, and somehow I will realize later and say something.” But pride rises in us, we want to show our mind, our education, to put the last point in the dispute. And we are entering it. And they listen to us and say: “Well, you stay with your opinion, now listen to what we will tell you.” And the demonic skirmish rolls on. Thus, a healthy climate in collectives is destroyed, people turn from friends into enemies, and all kinds of discord arise.

In spiritual terms, the disobedience of the younger to the elder in the spiritual world is called disobedience. To heal this spiritual illness, the younger must tell the older three words of humility: "Forgive, bless and pray (for me)." V In the relation of the elder to the younger, it is necessary that the elder does not mock the younger, but prays for him, so that the Lord gives the spirit of peace, like-mindedness, mutual understanding and covered infirmities junior. And between people equal should reign compliance.

One of the ancient patericons gives us an example of righteous contention between spiritual people. Two brothers in the monastery could never quarrel in their entire lives. And in the end they decided: they say, something we live in peace, let's quarrel at least a little, in order to repent later, to ask for forgiveness from each other. They chose the topic: you will say that this jug is yours, and I will say that it is mine, and through this we will quarrel. Here the first one says: "This jug is mine." And the second says: "Mine." The first one repeats: “This jug is still mine.” And the second: "Well, if you think it's yours, let it be yours." This ended the dispute, and no quarrel happened. When a person makes this dispensation of spiritual compliance, everything falls into place. A prudent person should in every possible way avoid a contentious spirit: “Let it be your way. I AM give way you, but not I will seduce you. Thus, perhaps, humiliating myself, I will extinguish the quarrel that is beginning. I will accept your opinion or maybe not, because I know how things really are - but I will not act in such a way that you stumble over me.

I know that this is difficult for many, but I advise you to work on yourself, work hard, and try to develop such an inner disposition. From a person, I repeat once again, who argues, quarrels, the spirit of God moves away, does not stay with him, and another spirit approaches him, the spirit of malice, which takes possession of his heart and soul. Avoid quarrels and strife, my dear ones, and protect yourself from this spiritual contagion.

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, as you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

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Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. So let's move on and I'll explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation just before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle of feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just get rid of all thoughts from your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less stressed in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.

If we think about what is included in the concept fear, then we will see many false feelings here and understand: there is no reason for fear. Human life is conceived by God as calm and joyful. We should live happily ever after - why not? God gave us this life so that we could live in the world with pleasure and gratitude to Him for this gift. And that this gratitude (or thanksgiving, Eucharist), in turn, opened the way for us to Him.

Sometimes, when leaving the guests, I can accidentally forget some of my things - for example, a pen or glasses. And the owner of the house where I was staying, after some time sees the thing I forgot and says: “Oh, Father Andrei left it!” That is, when he sees my glasses, he remembers me, his thoughts rush in my direction.

Why do we give gifts? So that a person, looking at a gift, remembers the one with whom he was recently together, about the love of this person. And if another person begins to use our gift, and not the one for whom it was intended, then the gift loses all meaning. After all, we gave it so that we could have a connection with this person - a connection filled with warmth and love - and not just for ordinary use.

That's exactly what God does. He sends us to this beautiful world (which, however, we then turn into something completely different) - sends us here so that we enjoy His gifts, His mercy to us, so that we live in this world as calmly as how children live in their Father's house - without worries and sorrows ("We have a dad!"). After all, when a child has a gentle, loving father, he is not afraid of anything.

This is how God deals with us. That is why He allowed us to live in this world.

Once a very good doctor appeared in one program. He said that the human body is designed in such a way that we can live much longer if we lead the right way of life.

Of course, such a life implies proper nutrition. But not only. It is important to be a mentally balanced person, calm and peaceful. If we were all like this, we would live longer.

A person ages because of worries about their problems, because of stress, anxiety, uncertainty about the future. All this leads to the fact that his hair begins to turn gray at an early age - for no apparent reason, just from experiences. Stress causes stomach ailments such as ulcers.

One disease is followed by another, and so on. How many diseases are caused by emotional distress! Therefore, if we really want to enjoy life and live many years, we should discover the ways that lead to longevity.

One of those ways is to live without fear. Life without anxiety, without this pain that corrodes our soul from the inside.

Once in one house I saw some old photographs. They depicted elderly couples - old men and old women. Have you ever seen such black and white photos - with your grandparents? Grandmother in a headscarf, grandfather with a mustache, in a jacket - stand and look at the camera with simple, innocent eyes, a look coming from the very depths of the soul.

Their faces are covered with wrinkles, they look tired, aged from hard work in the field, from many children, from constant worries. But in those photos, I noticed something else. The hands of these people were hardened from hard work on earth, the faces of women aged from frequent childbirth (and in those days there were from 5 to 10 or more children in families), but at the same time they had a calm, peaceful look. Their eyes radiated grace.

Tired, but calm, these people did not know what lifting, face masks, spa treatments were... They washed with ordinary soap, and even then not every day - and their bodies smelled not of sweat, but of earth, i.e. aroma of natural, real life. Their purity was different. Others were their beauty, their calmness, and this was reflected on their faces.

These people slept little, but a short sleep sated them. They didn't have nightmares, they didn't fall out of bed in their sleep. They fell asleep instantly, they did not need any sleeping pills, no special pills, sedatives or, on the contrary, invigorating teas - none of what we use today.

Honest daily work, a calm conscience, physical fatigue - these people slept like birds - little, but soundly, truly resting, refreshing their souls. And they woke up with a thirst for life, with renewed vigor. They had their difficulties, but they had a secret that helped them live happily, and above all - without fear.

They passed this secret from generation to generation, and thus healthy children were born who loved life, wanted to create families, worked and sailed on the sea of life without fear and anxiety. They absorbed this thirst for life with their mother's milk. What happened? What was the secret of these people?

It’s just that in their lives they were guided not by themselves, but by God. These old people were in a living “leaven” with God and the Church. They didn't know much of what we know, but they had a living faith. They had no TV shows, no conferences, no magazines, no cassettes; they did not read either the Philokalia or other works of the Holy Fathers, but their whole life, at the same time, was continuous Philokalia.

Without leaving their village, they lived along the Paterik, in which we read today about ascetics and women ascetics who labored in the wilderness. Opening windows in the morning, they saw their neighbors and rejoiced; looking at each other, they learned patience, hope, determination, prayer, humility, love, repentance and forgiveness - all that we now draw from books.

If a person is thirsty and is shown a beautiful photograph of a waterfall, he will not stop being thirsty. Looking at the picture, he will see that somewhere there is water that someone can drink, but he can't! And continues to be thirsty. That's the problem. We read, we listen, but we don't feel. We do not have peace, because next to us there are no calm people.

Do you know that it is very contagious - both calmness and fear? They are transmitted from person to person. Never heard some people say, “Don't do this or that, because your anxiety is being transferred to me. I will panic too, and what will happen if we both start to get nervous?

Now, these old people had no such worries and worries.

One of my friends, a priest, came to Greece from Scotland, from Edinburgh. People there are calmer, they have a different rhythm of life, a different mentality, a different culture ... And this is not due to faith in God, but simply there is a calm rhythm of life. Of course, the economy of this country, and its politics, and history had an influence here ... So, my friend came to his homeland and went by bus to Athens on business. And when he returned from the city, he called me and said:

“Oh, my poor head! How she fell ill in Athens! What is life here? What is a crazy house? How do you handle all this? A flea market, wild twisted faces - people seem to be constantly chasing after something, but they don’t even know why! How can you live like this? I peered into the faces and did not see a single calm, peaceful ... All kind of crazy. Something is not right here. In Edinburgh people are different. Of course, they are not what the Lord and the Church would like them to be, but at least they are not as restless. And we Greeks are a people of the Mediterranean. We are filled with the sun, and therefore we are extroverted, dynamic ... But dynamism is one thing, and mental anxiety is another.

Fotis Kontoglu, in his book Blessed Refuge, says this about our "time of troubles": met a calm person! After all, everyone around is running somewhere, in a hurry, and no one is happy, does not enjoy life. We are all chasing after something, but, not having time to rejoice at our achievements, we again strive for something new.

This restlessness is the result of our selfishness. We want to do everything ourselves. We are sure that a person is the master of his life. But if, indeed, you begin to consider yourself as such, then, indeed, you can fall into terrible anxiety and excitement. How can you not worry if everything depends only on you! Especially when it comes to your own children.

But worry about children will disappear if we learn to say these words: God brought me into this life and gave me children. He used me to give them life, He brought them into existence through my body, with my participation, but He does not require me to do absolutely everything for them. I must do only what is possible for them, and I will entrust the impossible to God and will not worry because of my impotence. I will trust God and trust Him with my children. And then I'll calm down».

This is the right attitude towards life. And we take everything upon ourselves and think that the life of our child (or, for example, our career) depends on us. We want to control everything, and as a result we reach moral exhaustion: overwork sets in, strength leaves us, we give up everything, and then we go crazy.

Are we able to keep everything in our heads and think about everything in the world? No, they are not capable. We need to give God the opportunity to do something. Let us entrust our children to His care. Of course, we must also make our efforts, but with prayer. With prayer, love and affection, and not with fear - after all, constantly worrying, you are not helping your children. On the contrary: your fear is transmitted to them.

For example, a child behaves badly, and the mother, worrying about this, also begins to behave “badly”. And even if, being in such a state, she wants to caress her child, the child will not feel this caress. He will feel maternal fear - and this is the worst legacy that a mother can pass on to her child. And vice versa: no wealth, no property or bank account can replace the most beautiful gift from their parents to children - peace of mind.

No money in your bank account? Don't worry, don't be afraid. "But what will I leave my child?" What was left for you at the time? How did you manage to build your house? Of course, you can’t leave a child in complete poverty, so there must still be some kind of inheritance.

But the real wealth that you can really provide for his life is the wealth of simplicity. The true treasure is simplicity: a simple soul, simple thoughts, a simple life, a simple behavior. Let your child learn from you not to be afraid, but to live calmly and peacefully. And then someday he will say: “My parents were calm people. They trusted God in everything and therefore never felt a sense of fear. If only all of us, after leaving this world, could leave such a memory of ourselves!

How wonderful it is to trust God! You say you can't. Try! This is a great boon. As St. Gregory the Theologian says, "the greatest thing is inaction." Sometimes you can hear such words: "You do nothing in the Church." Well, try to do for yourself what the Church says, that is do nothing? Can you stay calm without doing anything? Try and you will understand how difficult it is. Because in fact, in this case, you are not idle. On the contrary, you put in a lot of effort to learn to trust God in everything. This is a great art - doing nothing, trusting everything in the Lord.

In the Patericon there is a story about a nun. Once she was asked how many years she did not leave her cell.

“Thirty years,” she replied.

What are you doing here, sitting in one place? they asked her again.

– I am not sitting, but am in a continuous wandering. That is, in appearance I really sit in one place, but this life, which may seem very calm, carefree and even indifferent, is actually very mobile. Because I'm praying.

So when I say don't worry, I don't mean that we shouldn't do anything. On the contrary, we must do all. This all- Surrendering oneself to the will of God. “Let us commit ourselves and our whole life to Christ our God.” This litany, a petition familiar to all of us, which sounds at the Liturgy, speaks precisely about this: that we betray ourselves, our loved ones and our whole life with all the problems, expenses, illnesses, marriages, purchases, children, property - with everything in the world, - in the hands of God. Therefore the name Christ God and is here in the dative case: Christ God.

Let us trust in Christ, who is our God. Let's trust Him in everything. Into Your hands, O Lord, I commit my spirit. Word betray means that we completely trust the Lord and leave everything at His feet, in His hands and arms.

And when you trust God, you will immediately feel how everything inside you relaxes. Have you seen how a child sleeps in her mother's arms? He falls asleep, and after a few minutes his arms dangle, his legs too, there is no tension in his body, he is completely relaxed. His whole body is relaxed. Why? Because he is in the arms. In the arms of mom, or dad - they hold him, and he sleeps. The child has full confidence in his parents. In their arms, he calms down and seems to say with his appearance: “I have a dad, I have a mom. As soon as I wake up, they will immediately give me food.”

Have any of you seen a child in anxiety or restlessness? Even if such children come across, then, looking at them, you think: “Something is not right with this child!” Is it possible to imagine an ordinary child who wakes up in the morning and says: “What will happen to me today? What will I eat today? It's so hard for me! I'm afraid, I'm afraid of tomorrow. If I get dirty, who will change my clothes? And if I get hungry, who will feed me?” Children completely trust their parents and rely entirely on them.

Both the Lord and the Church call us to want to do the same - consciously, voluntarily and deliberately. So that, having made such a decision, we believe and do it.

Surrender into the hands of God, entrust Him with all your life, all your problems - entrust everything. And not to anyone, but to the God-man, Christ, Who can take care (and takes care) of everything in the world. Lord, You gave us everything and did everything for us, as they say in the liturgy of St. Basil the Great. And You will never leave us without Your help. At the last moment, when the situation seems hopeless, You will do everything for us. " I remembered the days of old, I learned from Your deeds

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God wants us to look at our lives the way He does. He is not covered by anxiety, panic, fear. After all, the Lord is the embodiment of His Kingdom, the Kingdom of God. He is the Realm of Truth we are waiting for. He is heaven, and in heaven there can be no problem. And therefore there is no such problem that would "stop" before God.

Therefore, when we begin to pray for real, when we stop living in the material world, when we change our lives and aspire to God, problems cease to exist, and all our fears disappear.

One person got cancer. Seeing the results of his tests, he began to pray, and prayed for a very long time. It wasn't like you and I pray - five minutes each. He dedicated himself entirely to prayer in order to meet God. And when he saw the Lord (that is, he felt Him), he forgot what he wanted to ask Him for. His fear disappeared, he forgot about his illness, he even forgot what he wanted to pray for. And then the person realized that before the Face of God there are no such problems because of which it is worth worrying about. This understanding comes to us when the Lord is constantly in our heart. That is why He tells us: Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation” (Mt 26:41). That is watch and pray constantly, and then everything that can confuse you will disappear, and there will be no problems for you.

Sometimes in a temple built at a high altitude, in cloudy weather, one can observe such a picture. Outside it is cloudy and the church is flooded with sunlight. How can that be? It's just that the clouds go down very low, and the dome of the temple is high. And now the sun shines on the dome, and the rays thus penetrate into the temple.

The same thing can happen to us. If we manage to rise above the clouds of our earthly life full of anxieties and touch God, then we will feel that rays of bright light burst into our hearts and now nothing that once disturbed us no longer causes anxiety. We will perceive difficulties in a completely different way - much more calmly. It will be like a slight dizziness or even drunkenness - but drunkenness is sober. The Church will give us such intoxication, but not to such an extent that we lose our reason or quickness of mind. No, we will simply be able to take any blow in this life and overcome any pain.

One drug addict came early one morning to Elder Paisios and said to him:

“Father, I came so early because while my head is thinking, I can talk to you. And then I take a dose and I can no longer communicate.

And the old man had a wonderful conversation with him. He looked deeply into his soul - he conducted an anatomical study there, one might say - he did a computed tomography of the heart. He spoke to this man about God, trying to convey to him the love of Christ.

After that, the addict said to the old man:

- Oh, father, again with me the same thing! I came to you without having time to take a dose, and I'm leaving as if I had already taken it! It's strange - you made me feel like I'm in heaven, the way it happens when I take a drug. You seem to have drunk me!

The old man replied:

"Don't you see any difference?" Is it the same thing? Does the drug you take make you feel in your soul what I made you feel?

The addict said:

– No, there is a big difference. You, father, intoxicated me with your words, but at the same time I did not lose my mind. I can communicate after that, I know who I am, what I want, what I need. I feel like I'm living. And after the drug, the feeling of pleasant intoxication passes very quickly. Very soon I return to reality and begin to experience such pain in my head, as if I was hitting it against an iron wall. My head hurts, my soul hurts - my whole life becomes a continuous pain. That's the difference.

In his writings, Karl Marx calls religion a drug, an opium for the people.

And the Church in response to this says: religion is a medicine for the people. Faith is to the soul what medicine is to the body, with one difference: this medicine is taken painlessly. What Marx calls opium is not a drug. Faith helps the soul endure the suffering that life inflicts.

But at the same time, this medicine maintains the vitality of the soul, does not allow it to fall asleep, and brings it closer to God. We seem to be in a sweet dream filled with happiness, joy, faith. A believer seems to live in another world, but at the same time he is here - here and now, fully aware of what is happening. And the addict does not understand what is happening to him. He cannot communicate normally, cannot live in peace, it is difficult for him to create a family, give birth and raise children.

The church does not sleep. She seems to be intoxicating. " I'm drunk- says Saint Isaac the Syrian, - intoxicated with Divine love, thanks to which I can look at everything from the other side».

Now, if you approach a drunk and tell him: “Your house is on fire!” What will he answer? Never mind.

This is how we feel in the Church. We call it sober intoxication- intoxication associated with constant wakefulness, or sobriety. It seems that these are completely opposite concepts - I can’t be both drunk and sober at the same time. Yes, it can only be so in the Church. While behind the walls of the Church there is only oblivion, painful and disastrous oblivion, which leads to death. And the Church is intoxicating. But this is not drunkenness in the conventional sense. This is the intoxication of happiness, thanks to which we begin to look at life in a completely different way. And this is not a theory. This is reality.

One student came to Elder Paisius and began to tell him about her “terrible” problems. What were these problems? She had a serious English exam coming up and was so nervous that she had to take sedatives. She could not sleep, could not concentrate, her heart began to beat, her hair began to fall out ... The elder said to her:

I envy you and pity you at the same time! Now I will explain both, and you choose what you like best. I feel sorry for you, because a small problem makes you so worried. You spoil your wonderful young years because you get sick, tormented by fear because of the exam. Should this be considered a real problem?

Let me take you to some drug addict, or to a cancer patient, to a dying person, to intensive care - so that you can see what real problems are. What are you facing right now, or what are these people living with? And you will immediately understand that your problem, which causes such fear in you, is not at all as great as it seems. That's why I pity you. You think it's important that it's really not that important. Taking the insignificant for the significant, you greatly exaggerate everything and from this you start to get sick. I pity you because you are drowning in a glass of water. But you are a smart girl, you study at the university!

– Yes, father, but you also said that you envy me…

- Yes, I even envy you, because your whole problem comes down to this one exam, while other people have much more problems. If only everyone had problems like you!

There is so much going on in life that you should thank God if your stress is caused by just one exam. It's not a problem. If you understand this, then you will stop exaggerating the importance of a diploma of higher education (and not only it). And calm down. A diploma should not be an obstacle to your happiness, it should not make you feel sad or anxious. You should not get sick from thinking about whether you will be able to pass the exam, close the session ... Yes, to pass this exam, you need to do the impossible. And I do not urge you to give up - no, you need to do everything in your power, as if everything depends only on you. But at the same time, you need to remember that in reality everything depends on God. That is, in your heart you rely only on God, and your mind and hands work as if everything depends on you.

In this case, the problem does not penetrate deep into your heart. There you are not interested in anything but God. And then, having fallen in love with God, you will say: “Lord, first of all I want to be with You! Take away all my fears and help me! Lord, be the only worry in my life! Be my main thought! And take all other obsessions out of my head and stick me to You. And if I cannot live without worries, then let me have only one anxiety - You, Lord, Your Kingdom, Your Paradise, as well as my soul, my connection with God, love for my neighbor and the Church.

If Christ becomes my main concern, then nothing else will bother me. I will no longer be interested in earthly things. And just when this happens, I will begin to do earthly affairs without fear and anxiety. And I will succeed. And I won’t worry anymore whether I will succeed or not. A person who lives in such harmony with himself, independent of circumstances, is always the most successful person in the world, because he is surrounded by grace.

So, Lord, be our chief concern. And when this happens, we will see that You are not anxiety, but pleasure. And having comprehended this pleasure, we will understand that everything that disturbed us in this world is one big lie. And then our soul will calm down - once and for all.

And if we still continue to be afraid of something, let us ask the Lord to take one more step in our heart. So, slowly, joining the Church, drawing closer to Christ, we will stop worrying. Let us ask the Lord to give us His love and drive out of our hearts any fear, any anxiety, worry about the present, past or future. And let us act in this life without fear and with ardent love for Christ!

Translation by Elizabeth Terentyeva

If we think about what the concept of fear includes, we will see a lot of false feelings here and understand: there is no reason for fear. Human life is conceived by God as calm and joyful. We should live happily ever after - why not? God gave us this life so that we could live in the world with pleasure and gratitude to Him for this gift. And that this gratitude (or thanksgiving, the Eucharist), in turn, opens the way for us to Him.

This is how God deals with us. That is why He allowed us to live in this world.

Once a very good doctor appeared in one program. He said that the human body is designed in such a way that we can live much longer if we lead the right way of life.

Of course, such a life implies proper nutrition. But not only. It is important to be a mentally balanced person, calm and peaceful. If we were all like this, we would live longer.

One disease is followed by another, and so on. How many diseases are caused by emotional distress! Therefore, if we really want to enjoy life and live many years, we must discover the ways that lead to longevity.

One of those ways is to live without fear. Life without anxiety, without this pain that corrodes our soul from the inside.

If a person is thirsty and is shown a beautiful photograph of a waterfall, he will not stop being thirsty. Looking at the picture, he will see that somewhere there is water that someone can drink, but he cannot! And continues to be thirsty. That's the problem. We read, we listen, but we don't feel. We do not have peace, because next to us there are no calm people.

Now, these old people had no such worries and worries.

But worry about children will disappear if we learn to say these words: “God brought me into this life and gave me children. He used me to give them life, He brought them into existence through my body, with my participation, but He does not require me to do absolutely everything for them. I must do only what is possible for them, and I will entrust the impossible to God and will not worry because of my impotence. I will trust God and trust Him with my children. And then I'll calm down."

How wonderful it is to trust God! You say you can't. Try! This is a great boon. As St. Gregory the Theologian says, "the greatest thing is inaction." Sometimes you can hear such words: "You do nothing in the Church." Well, try to do for yourself what the Church says, that is, do nothing? Can you stay calm without doing anything? Try and you will understand how difficult it is. Because in fact, in this case, you are not idle. On the contrary, you put in a lot of effort to learn to trust God in everything. This is a great art - doing nothing, trusting everything in the Lord.

In the Patericon there is a story about a nun. Once she was asked how many years she did not leave her cell.

“Thirty years,” she replied.

What are you doing here, sitting in one place? they asked her again.

So when I say don't worry, I don't mean that we shouldn't do anything. On the contrary, we must do everything. All this is surrender to the will of God. “Let us commit ourselves and our whole life to Christ our God.” This litany, a petition familiar to all of us, which sounds at the Liturgy, speaks precisely about this: that we betray ourselves, our loved ones and our whole life with all the problems, expenses, illnesses, marriages, purchases, children, property - with everything in the world, - in the hands of God. Therefore, the name Christ God stands here in the dative case: Christ God.

Let us trust in Christ, who is our God. Let's trust Him in everything. Into Your hands, O Lord, I commit my spirit. The word betray means that we completely trust the Lord and leave everything at His feet, in His hands and arms.

Both the Lord and the Church call us to want to do the same - consciously, voluntarily and deliberately. So that, having made such a decision, we believe and do it.

Surrender into the hands of God, entrust Him with all your life, all your problems - entrust everything. And not to anyone, but to the God-man, Christ, Who can take care (and takes care) of everything in the world. Lord, You gave us everything and did everything for us, as they say in the liturgy of St. Basil the Great. And You will never leave us without Your help. At the last moment, when the situation seems hopeless, You will do everything for us. “I remembered the days of old, I learned from Your deeds,” says the Psalter (Ps. 143:5). “Hear me soon, Lord!” (Ps. 142:7).

Remember how many times the Lord saved you, how many times he protected you and offered you the best solution to your problem! And remembering this, you can finally calm down and say: “I am a child of God. I feel God's love. Calm down! God showed me that He loves and protects me. Let all my fears, my insecurities and mental anxiety that haunt me disappear!”

Archimandrite Andrew (Konanos)