Orthodoxy how not to be nervous. How to overcome irritation and anger: confessor's advice

In fact, the word “anxiety”, of course, has no direct connection with the demon. And for the imaginary consonance, we must thank the Bolsheviks, or rather, the reform of A. Lunacharsky in 1918, after which “fearless”, “careless” and others jumped across the expanses of the Russian language. Before the reform, all these words had the prefix "without".

I just came up with such a name to hook, draw the reader's attention to a very important and relevant topic: how to cope with an anxious, depressing state, which is called anxiety. And although etymologically, in the very word “anxiety”, I repeat, there is nothing from the infernal world, but, you see, in this state there is something “from the evil one”. That which deprives a person of peace of mind cannot be from God, which means that anxiety is a sin.

“Measure makes everything beautiful,” says St. Isaac the Syrian. Like many other sins and passions, anxiety comes from completely natural human properties, simply brought by the person himself to hypertrophied excess and reborn into a kind of sinful state. Everyone experiences everything that happens to them to one degree or another. We experience fear, anxiety, excitement. All these properties are instilled in us by God. For us, they are signals that warn of danger or encourage us to take some kind of active action. They not only help us ourselves, but also force us to be indifferent to someone else's misfortune, to come to the aid of other people. We worry about our neighbors, we worry, and this is also an alarm bell that calls us to action. But it is bad when fear, anxiety and anxiety take over us, when we begin to show these emotions excessively. Such a state can become obsessive, dominant, and then panic. It's close to mental breakdown.

Anxiety from lack of faith

There are various reasons for excessive anxiety. For example, mental illness, hereditary predisposition, psychotrauma, and so on. Anxiety can also have completely natural causes. It can be a reaction to the difficult, disturbing circumstances of life that are currently weighing on a person. This condition is called reactive anxiety. But, I repeat, it is bad when the measure is lost and anxiety takes on a chronic, permanent form.

What sins underlie excessive anxiety, concern? First, lack of faith. Many people, considering themselves believers, do not have true faith and love for God. Because “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The absence of genuine spiritual life, of prayerful experience gives rise to all sorts of superstitions, horror before the dark spiritual world and anxiety before the future. Any priest has to regularly communicate with people who come running to the temple with their faces twisted in horror and begin to tell the priest what they want: to jinx them, to “make them”, to bring damage, to send diseases and all sorts of failures, etc. etc. You start asking, you ask the question: “Why do you think so?” And it turns out that they found a tuft of hair somewhere under the rug, or found a pin supposedly stuck in their joint for witchcraft purposes, or just something often began to hurt ... Recently I went to a service in the temple, and there I was waiting for a long time female. She was terribly frightened. She told that she works in a beauty salon, and said that recently the salon employees found money under the working chair of one of their hairdressers, which she seemed to put on purpose in order to lure all the clients to her. What to do now, because all the other craftsmen have already begun to lose income and, in general, the institution will soon go bankrupt, since other workers of scissors and combs will be left without work?

Sometimes you come across fears of an already clearly demonic nature, when people beg a priest to take a cross for themselves, which they accidentally found on the street, otherwise all the illnesses and misfortunes of a person who has lost a cross will inevitably pass on to them.

Where do all these phobias come from? From a lack of true faith. If she were, people would not be afraid of psychics and witchcraft, but would know: “If God is for us, who is against us?” (Rom. 8:31). They believe in the existence of the spiritual world, but this belief is one-sided, based on fear of dark forces. And in the absence of a living prayer experience, communication with the Lord, the Mother of God and the saints, this faith can turn into a panic fear of the unknown, into a feeling of complete insecurity.

Anxiety, panic, generated by lack of faith, can arise not only from fear of the evil eye or belief in omens. If there is no real strong faith, there can be a sea of \u200b\u200breasons for fear: fear of illness, old age, job loss, fear of poverty, worries about children and other worldly fears. All of them are treated by turning to God. Faith can only be strengthened by personal experience. When you begin to turn to the Lord, when you establish a living prayer connection with the living God, fear and anxiety recede. You already know that you are not alone with your problems, because the Lord is with you. And the more you gain the experience of prayer, the more clearly you begin to feel the hand of God, His presence in your life. “Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to waver” (Ps. 54:23), testifies the psalmist David. “The soul that has known the Lord fears nothing but sin,” St. Silouan of Athos tells us.

In addition to prayerful connection with God and hope for His help and protection, anxiety is also treated by strengthening faith in God's Providence and obedience to His holy will. A believer knows that whatever the Lord does, everything is for the best. Everything that is sent to us, for something we need. This is either a gift from God or a lesson to us.

Anxiety from sadness

In addition to the sin of lack of faith, restlessness is based on one of the eight passions, called the passion of sorrow. Passion, unlike ordinary sin, is an ingrained sinful addiction, a chronic sinful disease. The Apostle Paul speaks of such sorrow: “Godly sorrow produces unchanging repentance unto salvation, but worldly sorrow produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Worldly sadness is just unnecessary worldly cares, experiences that lead a person into a constant anxious, depressed state. Anxiety, anxiety, worries can bring anyone to depression.

Sorrow, as well as lack of faith, can be overcome by prayer to God, strengthening faith in Him and hope for His good Providence. The Christian knows that without God's will, even "a hair from your head will not be lost" (Luke 21:18). In suffering, sorrows, trials, believers should see great meaning for themselves. They are sent for our improvement, so that we learn a lot, begin to appreciate a lot, show our best qualities. And when you begin to see that “it is not in vain, it is not by chance that life was given to us by God,” as St. Philaret (Drozdov) wrote to A. Pushkin, then you begin to appreciate life, to see in it a great meaning and great gifts of God. Then the negative picture of the world, the anxious state caused by exaggerated anxiety, recede.

The Lord gives us an indication in the Gospel that our cares, inevitable for every earthly person, about earthly things, about daily bread and worldly affairs, should not become excessive for us: “So, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of its own: enough for every day of your care. (Matthew 6:34). Care, work, the upbringing of children and socially useful deeds - all this is necessary and necessary for a person, especially one who labors in the world, one cannot live without all this. But when all these cares begin to disturb us unnecessarily, they become evil. In the Church Slavonic translation of this passage of Holy Scripture, worries are called so: “the malice of the day.” Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria, interpreting this text, says that the Lord "calls anxiety and sadness the topic of the day." Thus, let us take care of the future, but in such a way that these cares do not turn into a source of constant anxiety and worry. For such a state is very distracting from spiritual life and leads a person into a state of permanent stress.

How to avoid this tension and anxiety about worldly affairs? Always separate the main and the secondary: "seek first the Kingdom of God... and all this will be added to you" (Matt. 6:33). First we will think about saving the soul, and only then about what to eat or what to wear, and not vice versa. Then cares for material objects will not bother us so much as to lead us into a state of anxiety and fear of the future.

Anxiety and the spirit is peaceful

Worry, anxiety, and the sadness born from them are conditions that are completely opposite to what every Christian should strive for in his life. What is the purpose of the Christian life? According to St. Seraphim of Sarov, in the acquisition of the Holy Spirit. If a person has acquired it, he is given gifts, one of which is a state of peace, peace of mind. This is how Father Seraphim himself says about the peace that the Lord gives: “It is impossible to express in any word the spiritual well-being that it produces in those people into whose hearts the Lord God implants it. Christ the Savior calls it peace from His own bounties, and not from this world, for no temporary earthly well-being can give it to the human heart: it is bestowed from above by the Lord God Himself, which is why it is called the peace of God. This is the same “peaceful spirit” that you need to acquire, and then thousands around you will be saved. That's what we should strive for. After all, the Kingdom of God must come already here, in earthly life, in the soul of man. And the Kingdom of Heaven is, as you know, eternal rest, peace and the absence of anxiety and longing. Striving for God, living a spiritual life, prayer, sacraments, trying to build our lives according to the commandments of God, we overcome anxiety. And, on the contrary, it is very difficult for people who are far from spiritual life, who violate the commandments of God, to be in a state of peace, peace of mind.

If a person breaks all (or almost all) of the ten commandments, can he not worry and worry about nothing? It is very doubtful, except that his conscience is already completely burnt. People who live without God, serving their passions, suffer greatly, do not find peace for themselves, have no meaning in life. And for those suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction, anxiety, melancholy, and despondency are almost an everyday condition. Psychiatrists and psychotherapists are well aware of how many people, having spent their youth very violently, having made mistakes, sins, and then breaking firewood already in adulthood, suffer from various mental disorders, neuroses and depression.

As you can see, a clear conscience, life according to the commandments of God helps us, among other things, get rid of anxiety.

Today it is not very common to find young people who keep their virginity and purity until marriage. And then, already in family life, they suffer from jealousy, they are afraid that their spouse will cheat on them, leave them or infect them with a “bad disease”. If young people before marriage led a dissolute lifestyle, began to cohabit together before marriage, then they implicitly realize that after that one can hardly expect chastity and mutual fidelity from each other. But by following the commandments of God, leading a Christian life, one can avoid such anxiety and anxiety. Now many churches have introduced the practice of compulsory confession and Communion for those approaching the sacrament of the wedding. I confess all whom I will then marry. And how joyful it is to meet young people who did not allow themselves bodily relations with each other before marriage. And you know, thank God, I have met many such newlyweds. And what is most surprising, many of them were people still very far from the Church. They simply felt that if they could not restrain themselves and committed the sin of fornication, they would lose a lot and they would have to pay for intemperance already in family life. After all, we know: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap: he who sows to his own flesh from the flesh will reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:7-8).

Restless economy

Having talked about the spiritual causes of anxiety and methods of dealing with them, let's move on to more mundane things. Let's say a little about how to deal with an anxious, restless state in our daily life, so to speak, at the household level.

To begin with, almost all of our fears and worries are completely unrealistic. Psychologists say that more than 90% of them are far-fetched and groundless. We are experiencing something that will most likely never happen. As the Bible says about it: “There they were afraid of fear, where there is no fear” (Ps. 13:5). Domestic folk wisdom also echoes the Holy Scriptures, let us recall the proverb: “Fear has big eyes.” Let us ask ourselves the question: how often have our fears and worries been justified in reality? Very, very rare. Of course, our constant concern is understandable. Modern man from all sides is simply crushed by disturbing, negative information, which various mass media generously supply us with. How often we went crazy because we could not get through to a person close to us, but it turned out that his phone was simply dead (the money on the account ran out, the mobile phone got into a bad connection zone, etc.); Who among us did not worry about the iron that was supposedly not turned off at home or the light that was not extinguished, who did not begin to mentally say goodbye to earthly life and loved ones and imagine how a terrorist bomb would destroy his car when our train suddenly stopped for several minutes in the subway tunnel? Let us now recall that, with the rarest exception, everything was resolved quite happily. The mobile phone was simply forgotten at home, the iron was turned off, the train went on its way in five minutes ...

What does it say? That all our fears are in our heads. They are unreal, just as the fears of the famous character of the fairy tale of the Brothers Grimm, Clever Elsa, were completely virtual. I think many people remember this instructive story from childhood. Once upon a time there was a girl named Elsa. The young man Hans wooed her. Once, during a feast in her parents' house, Elsa went to the basement for a beer. There she saw a pickaxe high up on the wall. The girl began to imagine that when she and Hans got married and had a son, the boy would go to the basement, and the pickaxe would fall on his head and kill him. She wept so bitterly about this that her family and fiancé succumbed to her fears. Hans marveled at Elsa's "mind" and "foresight" and married her.

Yes, there are many such persons who have great imagination and are able to make an elephant out of a fly. Most often, "Smart Elsa Syndrome" affects women as beings more impressionable and imaginative. Such ladies tend to be overprotective, control their children and husbands in everything, worry about them, worry. They are also prone to jealousy, they begin to suspect their spouses of infidelity for the slightest reason. By the way, the desire to completely control your life and the lives of your loved ones is always a very big source of anxiety.

Although, in fairness, it must be said that many men suffer from increased anxiety, multiplied by a rich imagination. The main problem of people of this type is the loss of reality. They need to understand that fear is normal, but in no case should we let it take over us, otherwise it will completely take over our soul. I use an analogy from the world of technology. Almost all modern cars now have a limiter that prevents the engine from being spoiled by excessive load. When the speed when driving in first gear becomes critical, a special cut-off is activated and the engine speed immediately drops. Such a limiter of anxiety is very well established for anyone who is prone to excessive anxiety.

To do this, it is important to learn to divide our thoughts into useful and harmful, coming from the evil one. Harmful - in this case, anxious, restless, dreary - you need to learn how to cut off in time. Do not let them on the threshold of our soul. Drive away with prayer, like all harmful thoughts, and replace them with others - positive, life-affirming. Methods of dealing with unwanted thoughts are detailed in various ascetic creations.

It is very important to understand the unreality, the far-fetchedness of our fears, to realize that they are not caused by real danger, but by our not quite healthy emotional state. That is the real reason for our concern. In this condition, all kinds of sedatives and sedatives also help very well.

Clever Elsa was worried about the unborn child and about some completely unrealistic events. Of course, such a situation is anecdotal, but after all, any normal parents experience a completely natural concern for their children, especially when they are far from us and communication with them is limited. For example, they travel, serve in the army, are in the hospital. But here you need to understand: with worries, anxiety, anxiety, we will not help our child, but only bring ourselves to a nervous breakdown. It can also be very difficult to help somehow at a distance, and sometimes even impossible. But what we can really help our children and in general the people we care about is our prayer. No wonder they say: "A mother's prayer from the bottom of the sea gets it." When I am very worried about the children, I usually begin to read the canon to the Theotokos. It is found in almost every Orthodox prayer book. Even from its title - "The Canon sung in every sorrow of soul and situation" - it is clear that it is especially suitable for such a situation. When we turn to God, to the Mother of God, we trust them with our troubles, worries and feel that we are no longer alone in the struggle with our problem.

Be ready!

What to do when the problem that worries us is not fictitious, not far-fetched, but quite real and serious? Holy Scripture does not teach us to live carelessly and thoughtlessly. No, it just tells us not to let our worries about the problems of life get the better of us. Caring for our earthly affairs should not become the dominant feature of our lives and cause us anxiety and lack of faith. Therefore, "sufficient for each day of its care." But, at the same time, Christ calls us to calmly and balancedly prepare for future difficulties, so that later we would not experience unnecessary anxiety and panic: “For which of you, wanting to build a tower, does not sit down first and calculate the costs, whether he, what is needed to complete it, lest when he lays the foundation and is unable to finish, all who see it do not laugh at him, saying, This man began to build and could not finish? Or what king, going to war against another king, does not sit down and consult first whether he is strong with ten thousand to resist the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? (Luke 14:28-31).

Very often we are frightened by the unknown, unfamiliarity for us with the upcoming situation or some new business for us. In this passage of the Gospel we find the answer on how to overcome this fear. You need to carefully think over the problem, that is, "sit down and calculate the costs", collect information about it, consult with knowledgeable, experienced people. Then uncertainty, fears will recede, because most of them come from inexperience and lack of knowledge. The visualization method also helps. When we sort of play the situation in advance: we imagine what could happen badly and under what conditions, and then we imagine the situation from a position that is successful for us and try to understand how to behave so that everything ends well. For example, what will happen if I cannot resist with ten thousand more numerous enemy army? Shouldn't we start peace talks then? Or, on the contrary, you need to think about what tactics I should choose and how to prepare the fighters in order to easily defeat the superior enemy forces. Knowledge of the situation and a correct, sober assessment of one's own capabilities will help to cope with fears.

Anxiety, trembling before an unknown, unfamiliar situation comes from a lack of experience. By walking towards fear, we are able to overcome it. Saint Paisius of Athos tells how he conquered his childhood fears: “When I was little, I was afraid to walk past the cemetery in Konitsa. So I slept in the cemetery for three nights and the fear went away. I made the sign of the cross over myself and went in there, I didn’t even light a flashlight so as not to scare anyone.

Prevention of some anxiety situations can also help to cope with anxiety. For example, many of us suffer from forgetfulness, absent-mindedness and are constantly nervous that we will forget, miss something important. Here again, prevention helps. You can keep a diary or write down current affairs in an electronic notebook. Some forgetful people stick reminder notes in prominent places. Such simple tricks will help save a lot of nerve cells.

People who have the habit of being constantly late everywhere also often worry, worry about this, and then wait with fear for a reprimand from their superiors. You can avoid stress due to being late in a very simple way: make a rule for yourself to always come to work or to an important meeting 15-20 minutes ahead of time, plan your day and current affairs in advance.

All goes to good

We talked about how to overcome anxiety and fear of the problem we expect. But what if we are already faced with the difficulty face to face? After all, here it is easy to panic, start to worry and lose heart.

One of my acquaintances has experienced a huge amount of adversity and sorrow. In his large family, children were born disabled or became disabled as a result of car accidents. He and his wife suffered from numerous diseases, he constantly found himself in very difficult life situations. Misfortune haunted him at almost every step. To be honest, if only ten percent of the sorrows he endured had fallen on me, I would have fallen into deep despondency. Once I asked this sufferer: “What helps you get through all this?” And he answered me: “Once I realized that everything that the Lord sends me is very necessary for me and my family. What happens to me is inevitable. They are either a consequence of my sins, or sent to me for my benefit and salvation. Realizing this, I almost stopped worrying and worrying. I felt that I was inside the Providence of God for me and my family.” My friend taught me a lot. He treated his sorrows philosophically. Even in great misfortunes, he saw great benefit for himself and his loved ones and knew how to rejoice in what God gives him.

Problems, sorrows, losses in our lives are inevitable. But it is not they themselves who make us worry, it is the wrong attitude towards them that makes us worry. From this conclusion: we need to learn to see the benefits and get joy from everything that happens to us.

“With great joy, my brothers, accept when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the test of your faith produces patience” (James 1: 2-3), the Apostle James tells us.

One wise man watched for a long time an elderly woman who constantly cried in any weather - both when the sun was shining and when it was raining. The wise man asked the old woman: “Why are you always crying? What's bothering you? Why does neither the sun nor the rain please you?" Then the woman said to him: “I have two daughters. One of them is a laundress, she washes clothes, and the other sells umbrellas. If the sun is shining, then no one buys umbrellas and the daughter is left without earnings. And in rainy weather, the laundry does not dry and it is hard for the laundress to work. So I'm worried about them." Then this wise man gave the woman advice: when it rains, rejoice for the seller of umbrellas, and when the weather is sunny, rejoice for the one who washes the clothes. After that, the woman calmed down, was always in a good mood and was happy for her two daughters.

Results

Once again, briefly recall what helps us cope with anxiety.

Faith in God and hope in Him.

Submission to the will of God.

Prayer to the Lord, asking for help.

Correct, objective vision of problems, experiencing them as they come.

Readiness for the problem, information about it, the experience of other people.

Prevention of anxiety situations.

The ability to see useful, joyful moments in problems.

Archpriest Pavel Gumerov

We all understand what a contagious disease is. And we try not to go where we see the spread of some kind of infection. Prudence says: you will get infected. However, while acting prudently in the physical realm, very often we act recklessly in the spiritual realm.

A person with evil thoughts is a source of spiritual infection. He is sick with a kind of spiritual flu and can re-infect many. When we communicate with those who condemn and slander someone, we very often sit and agree. At the very least, we remain silent. But we do not block the mouth of another person. Interviews with people who are crafty and evil in their thoughts inevitably end in spiritual infection.

We need to remember the patristic teaching that the grace of God is removed from a person who carries within himself evil thoughts and condemnation. Bitter and sweet water do not flow from the same fountain (James 3:11). You and I remember that bad associations corrupt morals, that you will be with the reverend reverend, you will be depraved with the obstinate(Ps. 17:26).

Therefore, we should shun people who have murmuring, perverted, crafty thoughts. How to do it? In practical terms, this is quite easy.

First degree - do not participate in condemnation and grumbling. Are you unable to leave? Do you have a close relative or boss in front of you? Circumstances require your presence? Let it be so, but you can always not participate in an evil conversation.

Second Degree - Try Gently stop this thread:"Let's not talk to you on this topic", "Let's refrain from slandering our neighbor."

The third degree - when you feel that you are not able to bear the evil that others say, you can withdraw unnoticed. Under some pretext to go to another room, interrupt the conversation, referring to some business.

If you know behind a person that he constantly condemns others, gets angry, gossips, stay away from him. Because just as it is impossible not to get dirty in the midst of solid pitch, so it is impossible not to get dirty spiritually among people who censure and slander their neighbors.

But how do we be healed if we are already infected with angry thoughts? As the Holy Fathers teach, the cure for the irritable part of the soul is love. We can transform all the evil that we heard about a person and accepted into our hearts into love for him. Having realized it, we can show love for our neighbor, pray for him: “Help him,

God". Or - suddenly the Lord provides an opportunity to do good to this person.

So, our first instruction is to avoid those who speak evil. And the second - if we are infected, to heal - to transform our evil thoughts into good thoughts, pray for a person about whom evil is spreading, and provide him with every good.

Avoid quarrels with superiors, subordinates and peers

Quarrels and strife indicate, first of all, on human madness, on the clouding of the mind between the disputing parties and the absence of peace between the parties to the dispute.

Therefore disputes and contentions are of three kinds. These are disputes and bickering between subordinates in relation to superiors, discords sown by superiors in relation to their subordinates, and disputes that flare up in teams, in families and in general in any communities, between equal people.

When an employee argues with a boss, it is disobedience. There is no power other than from God. Our Lord Jesus Christ, through this leader, tries to reason with His subordinates. What is required? Listen to the leader and try to act in a way that does not cause criticism in relation to yourself. And every boss is a servant of God, no matter what he is. According to Senka and a hat. What kind of subordinates - the Lord sends such a boss. Therefore, laughing at the boss, people laugh at themselves. They slander themselves because they do not understand that the Lord puts before them a mirror in the face of their leader, showing their vices and shortcomings. From a subordinate, only one thing is always required - with humility to do at work what is due to him. To say: “Lord, Thy will, what I was commanded, then I must fulfill, I accept this not as a simple instruction, but as obedience to You.” And then everything falls into place.

The other plane is attitude of the boss towards his subordinates. It happens that a subordinate is constantly trying to prove something, to have his own opinion and to become one step with his boss. It is clear that such a co-worker violates the hierarchy of God. How prudent to act as a leader in this case? Simply do not impose your point of view, but calmly seek the fulfillment of what is due in the service. If you demand that this subordinate do something more than that, you can either sow anger or hatred, especially in your soul, or cause discord and quarrel.

A much more difficult situation is when a quarrel, a scandal, some kind of discord between equal people. As equals, they can express all kinds of barbs and insults; a chain reaction begins, and the spirit of the devil descends into one or another collective. Someone has to stop this. Let us remember how prudently St. Silouan of Athos acted. Most of the time he was silent and listened to what was being said. As a rule, we try to participate in all the word disputes that arise around us. It usually starts out harmlessly enough. The topic raised can be about anything - the state of the country, political authorities, wages, medicine - but our pride very often leads to the fact that we try to insist on our opinion. It must be remembered - if the spirit of contentiousness lives in you, this indicates a secret pride. The man is humble avoid any dispute and will give the disputant the right of primacy, if this is not of a fundamental nature. He will say: “Let it be as you say, as you see fit.” Unless, of course, the case does not concern the protection of the neighbor or the weak, when a person can and should raise his voice in his defense.

If we do not avoid disputes, clarifying relationships, discussing controversial topics, then we will definitely commit a sin, even a few sins. First, we will commit violence against another person - our interlocutor. Secondly, if we express our opinion for the second and third time, we can at this moment fall into irritation and anger. The Holy Fathers tell us the following: when you expressed one opinion twice and twice it was not accepted, shut your mouth and do not speak out again. Because this is followed by anger, irritation, annoyance and yours, and the one who wants to refute what was said. Your victory will be pyrrhic, it will bring nothing but the destruction of the heart, the devastation of the soul and discord with the person before whom we have achieved primacy.

Therefore, dear ones, if you want to save your soul so that it is not devastated, I give you this advice: in no case do not enter into any kind of disputes, by all means avoid both them and those people who are a source of contention. Of course, the devil will be dissatisfied, he will immediately begin to prick like needles: “Why are you silent? Why don't you speak your mind?" - “Don’t, - say, - I’m a small person, I don’t understand these things, you are educated people, argue without me, and somehow I will realize later and say something.” But pride rises in us, we want to show our mind, our education, to put the last point in the dispute. And we are entering it. And they listen to us and say: “Well, you stay with your opinion, now listen to what we will tell you.” And the demonic skirmish rolls on. Thus, a healthy climate in collectives is destroyed, people turn from friends into enemies, and all kinds of discord arise.

In spiritual terms, the disobedience of the younger to the elder in the spiritual world is called disobedience. To heal this spiritual illness, the younger must tell the older three words of humility: "Forgive, bless and pray (for me)." V In the relation of the elder to the younger, it is necessary that the elder does not mock the younger, but prays for him, so that the Lord gives the spirit of peace, like-mindedness, mutual understanding and covered infirmities junior. And between people equal should reign compliance.

One of the ancient patericons gives us an example of righteous contention between spiritual people. Two brothers in the monastery could never quarrel in their entire lives. And in the end they decided: they say, something we live in peace, let's quarrel at least a little, in order to repent later, to ask for forgiveness from each other. They chose the topic: you will say that this jug is yours, and I will say that it is mine, and through this we will quarrel. Here the first one says: "This jug is mine." And the second says: "Mine." The first one repeats: “This jug is still mine.” And the second: "Well, if you think it's yours, let it be yours." This ended the dispute, and no quarrel happened. When a person makes this dispensation of spiritual compliance, everything falls into place. A prudent person should in every possible way avoid a contentious spirit: “Let it be your way. I AM give way you, but not I will seduce you. Thus, perhaps, humiliating myself, I will extinguish the quarrel that is beginning. I will accept your opinion or maybe not, because I know how things really are - but I will not act in such a way that you stumble over me.

I know that this is difficult for many, but I advise you to work on yourself, work hard, and try to develop such an inner disposition. From a person, I repeat once again, who argues, quarrels, the spirit of God moves away, does not stay with him, and another spirit approaches him, the spirit of malice, which takes possession of his heart and soul. Avoid quarrels and strife, my dear ones, and protect yourself from this spiritual contagion.

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters is that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, as you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, “panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right track and there are dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself, all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

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Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all those events that plunge you into nervousness: your boss calls, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a fight on public transport or on the road in a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distract from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. So let's move on and I'll explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation just before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but also in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither the emotional mood nor the breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your current state. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle of feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Do you tie the big toe and little toe of your left foot into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't have to try to impress in every possible way, you will impress if you do it right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and that I would be taken into the army if I I won’t hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less prone to stress in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.

« The soul that knows the Lord fears nothing but sin»
Saint Silouan of Athos

There is no person on earth who is not afraid of something. For a person, fear is a natural state that occurs in case of danger or threat to his life.

The world offers a person material well-being and enjoyment, but instead it is here that human fears are born: after all, everything can be taken away at any moment, and a person will be unable to enjoy life.

« Fear has many shades or degrees: fear, fear, fright, horror., - says psychotherapist Dmitry Avdeev. - If the source of danger is uncertain, then in this case one speaks of anxiety. Inappropriate reactions of fear are called phobias.».

In his work An Exact Exposition of the Orthodox Faith, St. John of Damascus points out: There are also six types of fear: indecision, modesty, shame, horror, amazement, anxiety. Indecision is the fear of future action. Shame is the fear of expected censure. Shame is the fear of a shameful deed already committed; this feeling is not hopeless in the sense of human salvation. Horror - fear of some great phenomenon. Amazement is the fear of something extraordinary. Anxiety is the fear of failure or failure, because, fearing to fail in any business, we experience anxiety».

The Monk Seraphim of Sarov instructed that there are " Two kinds of fear: if you do not want to do evil, then fear the Lord and do not; but if you want to do good, then fear the Lord and do».

So is fear natural to humans? And how to overcome it without damaging your soul?

5 Tips from the Church Fathers on How to Overcome Fear

1.
John of the Ladder

"Fear is the deprivation of firm hope"

“Those who weep and ache for their sins have no insurance. /.../ It is impossible to saturate the womb in one minute; so it is impossible to conquer timidity soon. As our weeping intensifies, it departs from us; and as it decreases, it increases in us.

If the flesh is afraid, but this untimely fear has not entered the soul, then deliverance from this disease is near. But if we, out of contrition of heart, with devotion to God, diligently expect from Him all sorts of unforeseen cases, then we are truly freed from timidity.

He who has become a servant of the Lord fears only his Master; and in whom there is no fear of the Lord, he is often afraid of his own shadow..

2.
Reverend Isaac the Syrian

“Do not be discouraged when it comes to what life will bring you, and do not be too lazy to die for it, because cowardice is a sign of despondency, and neglect is the mother of both. A timid person makes himself known that he suffers from two ailments, i.e., love of the body and lack of faith.

“The fear for the body is so strong in people that as a result of it they often remain unable to do anything glorious and worthy. But when fear for the soul clings to the fear of the body, then the fear of the body languishes before the fear of the soul, like wax from the power of a burning fire..

3.
Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk

"There they trembled with fear, where there was no fear"
(Ps. 13:5)

“Why should I be afraid of what is inevitable for me? If God allows trouble on me, I will not bypass it; she will attack me, even though I am afraid. If He does not want to allow it, then, although all the devils and all evil people and the whole world will rise, they will not do anything to me, because He is One, Who is stronger than all, “will turn evil on my enemies” (Ps.53:7). Fire will not burn, the sword will not cut, water will not drown, the earth will not devour without God, for everything, like a creation, without the command of its Creator, will not do anything. So, why should I be afraid of everything that is, except for God? And what God wills, then I will not pass. Why be afraid of what is inevitable? Let us fear, beloved, the only God, so that we fear nothing and no one. For whoever truly fears God is not afraid of anyone or anything..

4.
Venerable Ephraim the Syrian

“He who fears the Lord is above all fear; he has removed from himself and left far behind him all the horrors of this world. Neither water, nor fire, nor animals, nor peoples, in a word, those who fear God fear nothing. Whoever fears God cannot sin; and if he keeps the commandments of God, then he is far from all ungodliness.”.

5.
Paisiy Velichkovsky

Paisiy Velichkovsky wrote that if “strong enemy embarrassment, when the soul is afraid” overtakes you, it is necessary “say psalms and prayers aloud, or combine needlework with prayer, so that the mind pays attention to what you are doing /.../ and not be afraid, for the Lord is with us and the Angel of the Lord never yields from us”.

* * *

As you can see, in the fears of modern life, there are " a certain seal of the troubles of human society, as His Holiness Patriarch Kirill said in a sermon, and immediately gave the current evangelical advice in the fight against fears - love: "Perfect love casts out fear"(1 John 4:18). “Through love, a person wins over any fears and becomes courageous and invincible. When we live with God, we are not afraid of anything, we surrender our lives to the will of God, we try to hear His voice, we are able to overcome any difficulties of life, because God frees us from fear through love..

« There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. » (1 John 4:18)

Sources:

2. Venerable Isaac the Syrian of Nineveh. Ascetic words.

5. Paisiy Velichkovsky. Krins are green or beautiful flowers, collected in brief from the Divine Scripture.

6. Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk. Letters.

What is fear? How is fear different from insurance? Does fear have spiritual roots? What causes fear in children? The Orthodox psychiatrist Dmitry Alexandrovich Avdeev answers these and other questions out of fear.

Question: Tell us about the origin of fears.
- Perhaps there is no person on earth who does not know what fear is. Fear is inherent in the nature of fallen man, which instinctively fears a threat from without. Numerous scientific studies have been devoted to the topic of fear. There is also a theological argument about this. We will touch on only some aspects of this complex topic. What is fear? Psychological literature refers to fear as an emotion that arises in situations of threat to the individual. If, say, pain is a consequence of the real impact of some dangerous factors, then fear arises when they are anticipated. Fear has many shades or degrees: fear, fear, fright, horror. If the source of danger is uncertain, then in this case one speaks of anxiety. Inappropriate reactions of fear are called phobias.

Question: Tell us about phobias.
- Phobic syndrome (in Greek phobos - fear) - a very common phenomenon. There are many phobic conditions. For example, nosophobia (fear of illness); agoraphobia (fear of open spaces); claustrophobia (fear of closed spaces); erythrophobia (fear of redness); mysophobia (fear of pollution), etc. All these are examples of pathological, that is, fears not associated with a real threat.

There are fears from cowardice, cowardice. Cowardice can, unfortunately, be vaccinated. If, say, a child is told something like this every five minutes: “don’t touch,” “don’t get in,” “don’t come near,” etc.
Psychologists distinguish the so-called parental fears that "migrate" from parents to children. This, for example, is a fear of heights, mice, dogs, cockroaches and much more. These persistent fears can often be found later in children.
There are situational fear, which occurs at the moment of threat, danger, and personal fear, the occurrence of which is associated with character traits.

Phobic syndrome can occur in many mental and somatic (related to the body. - Ed.) Diseases. Speaking of the latter, it should be understood that this is rather a reaction of the individual to a particular ailment. For example, I had to observe how some patients reacted to the term "heart attack". This word, like a bomb, struck the psyche of many patients of the cardiological clinic, steadily depriving them of peace of mind. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to get sick like a Christian. An adequate, courageous reaction to ailments is rare, much more often people in such situations have neurotic reactions.

So, Professor V.P. Zaitsev distinguishes five types of such reactions to myocardial infarction. Among them, the so-called cardiophobic reaction stands out: patients are afraid “for the heart”, they are afraid of a second myocardial infarction and sudden death; they are overly cautious, especially when trying to expand their physical activity regimen; increased fear is accompanied by trembling in the body, weakness, blanching of the skin, palpitations.
* * *
I remember a patient who experienced a pronounced fear of death after suffering a myocardial infarction. The efforts of doctors were crowned with success. With God's help, our patient recovered, his heart became stronger, but this tormenting fear did not let go of him. It was especially intensified in public transport, in any enclosed space. My patient was a believer, and so it was easy for me to speak frankly with him. I remember asking him if anything could happen to him without the permission or permission of God. To which he confidently replied, “No.” “And in that case,” I continued, “do you really think that your death could be an absurd accident?” And to this question, my patient said in the affirmative: “No.” “Well, take this burden off yourself and stop being afraid!” That's pretty much what I advised him.

In the end, our reflections came down to the fact that he "allows himself to die", if it pleases God. After a while, this is what he told me. When the fear arose again, he said to himself inwardly: “My life is in the hands of God. God! Thy will be done!" And the fear disappeared, dissolved like sugar in a glass of hot tea, and did not appear again.

Neurotic fears are characteristic in that they are not caused by any real threat, or this threat is far-fetched and unlikely. The Orthodox doctor V. K. Nevyarovich rightly asserts: “Obsessive thoughts often begin with the question: “What if?” Further, they are automated, take root in the mind and, repeatedly repeated, create significant difficulties in life. The more a person fights, wanting to get rid of them, the more they take possession of him. In addition, in such states there is a weakness of mental protection (censorship) due to the natural characteristics of a person or as a result of the sinful destruction of his soul. It is well known, say, the fact of increased suggestibility in alcoholics.

Often I have to face all sorts of fears, the origin of which I associate with religious ignorance, a misunderstanding of the essence of holy Orthodoxy. For example, in a state of fear and confusion, people come to the reception and say something like the following: “I sinned greatly by passing candles with my left hand during the service” or “I lost my baptismal cross! Now everything is gone!” or “I found a cross on the ground and picked it up. I must have taken on someone’s life cross!” You sigh bitterly, listening to such “complaints”.

Another common phenomenon is various superstitions (such as the “black cat” or “empty buckets”, etc.) and the fears that grow on this basis. Strictly speaking, such superstitions are nothing more than a sin that should be repented of at confession.

Q: What does the word "insurance" mean?
Insurance is an obscure, incomprehensible, terrible, heavy horror that a demon induces when a person's body becomes numb, when it is difficult for him to pronounce the very name of Christ the Savior.

Question: What is known about the spiritual nature of fears?
Fear can be the result of a mental disorder, but it can also have a spiritual origin. For example, in the 90th psalm it says: "Do not be afraid of the fear of the night." In practice, I often encounter states of unmotivated fear and anxiety. In the spiritual nature of many of these states, I was convinced by experience. I also became convinced that these fears are healed by the grace of God. There are many examples of this in patristic literature.

St. John of Damascus in his work “The Exact Exposition of the Orthodox Faith” points out: “There are also six types of fear: indecision, modesty, shame, horror, amazement, anxiety. Indecision is fear of future action. Shame - fear of the expected censure; it is the most wonderful feeling. Shame is fear of a shameful deed already committed, and this feeling is not hopeless in terms of human salvation. Horror - fear of some great phenomenon. Amazement is the fear of something extraordinary. Anxiety is the fear of failure or failure, because, fearing to fail in any business, we experience anxiety ”And further:“ There is also fear that comes from the clouding of thoughts, unbelief and ignorance of the hour of death, when, for example, we are afraid at night, if there is any noise. Such fear is contrary to nature, and, defining it, we say: unnatural fear is a shudder from surprise. The Lord did not allow such timidity to Himself. Therefore, He was never afraid, as soon as in the hour of suffering, although repeatedly, according to the plans of dispensation, he hid (from danger) - for He knew His hour.

Persistent obsessive fears can also be the result of a diabolical militia. At the same time, people suffer terribly, suffer from their conditions, are burdened by them, but they cannot do anything with themselves. By the way, the medical term “obsession”, which means obsessive phenomena, is translated as “obsession”. Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) instructs us thus: “Spirits of malice with such cunning wage war against a person that the thoughts and dreams they bring to the soul seem to be born in itself, and not from an evil spirit alien to it, acting and at the same time trying to hide.”

Bishop Varnava (Belyaev) explains: “The sages of this world, who do not recognize the existence of demons, cannot explain the origin and effect of obsessive ideas. But a Christian who encounters dark forces directly and constantly waging a struggle with them, sometimes even visible, can give them a clear proof of the existence of demons. Thoughts that suddenly appear, like a storm, fall upon the one who is being saved and do not give him a moment's rest. But let us assume that we are dealing with an experienced ascetic. He is armed with a strong and strong Jesus prayer. And the struggle begins and goes on, to which no end is foreseen.

A person is clearly aware of where his own thoughts are, and where others are planted in him. But the full effect lies ahead. Enemy thoughts often assure that if a person does not give in and does not deign to them, then they will not lag behind. He does not give in and continues to pray to God for help. And at that moment, when it seems to a person that, indeed, perhaps, this struggle is endless, and when he already ceases to believe that there is such a state when people live calmly and without such mental torment, at that very time thoughts immediately disappear , suddenly, suddenly ... This means - grace has come, and the demons have receded. Light, peace, silence, clarity, purity are shed into the human soul (cf. Mark 4:37-40).”

Elsewhere, Vladyka Barnabas writes: “The mistake of today’s people lies in the fact that they think that they suffer only “from thoughts”, but in fact also from demons ... So, when they try to defeat a thought with a thought, they see that nasty thoughts are not just thoughts, but “obtrusive” thoughts, that is, with which there is no sweetness and over which a person is powerless, which are not connected by any logic and are alien to him, extraneous and hateful ... But if a person does not recognize the Church, grace, the Holy Mysteries and the jewels of the virtues, that is, does he have anything to defend himself with? Of course not. And then, once the heart is empty from the virtue of humility and with it from all the others, demons come and do what they want with the mind and body of a person (Matt. 12:43-45).

Question: I heard that fear and vanity are somehow connected. Is it so?
The Holy Fathers point out that vanity is often hidden behind fear. In this regard, the fear of public speaking or the fear of communication is indicative, dictated by the fact that deep down a person is afraid to seem less smart or talented than he, in his opinion, is in reality. And here is what is remarkable: when a person realizes this circumstance, humbles himself, allows himself a mistake or a mistake, thinks more not about how to say, but what to say, in order to please God first of all, the situation is decisively corrected, peace and tranquility are found in the soul.

Question: How to overcome fears?
“The fear of the Lord is true wisdom,” says the Holy Scripture (Job 28:28). If there is no Fear of God in the soul, then, as a rule, various neurotic fears are found in it. Truth is replaced by a surrogate. And further. In Holy Scripture we read: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because in fear there is torment” (1 John 4:18). It turns out that the presence of fear in the soul and heart of a person means the absence or lack of love.

Question: I read about phobias of occult origin. Have you met with similar cases?
Especially it should be said about all sorts of fears (phobias) that arise in connection with the passion for occult practice. It seems that these fears inform a person about the disastrous, sinful state of his soul in which it resides. Unfortunately, at the present time, many have become victims of the occult.

Let's take the following case as an example. N., 38 years old, applied for an appointment. In her youth, she met a young man and wanted to marry him, but unexpectedly he married another. N. was very worried, cried a lot and, on the advice of her friends, decided to “bewitch” the groom. She was offered a detailed "instruction", which even included prayers for the dead. Soon after performing the witchcraft, N. felt a terrible fear and an overwhelming sense of anxiety, but despite this, she repeatedly resorted to the same occult rituals. During all these almost twenty years, N. was treated for phobic neurosis by psychiatrists and psychotherapists; treatment brought little relief. Reflections on what she had done led her to think about the need for repentance and turning to God. After the first confession in her life, she felt already forgotten peace and joy in her soul.

Question: Tell us about childhood fears.
If we talk about children's fears, then in this case we can even distinguish some regularity or stages.
From a year to three years, a child may experience fear, expressed anxiety during separation from loved ones, especially from his mother. Fear can also appear with a sharp change in the stereotype, daily routine.

From three to five years old, in children who already have some life experience, imaginary fears are added to the above-mentioned fears (fairy tale characters, impressions that pop up in the mind of the child, scary stories for him, etc.). That is also why children's souls and eyes should be protected from all wickedness and vulgarity. How important it is to nourish the soul of a child with the grace of God.
A distinctive feature of the fears of children five to seven years old is the fear of death (of one's own, parents, grandparents) that often arises at this age. The soul of a child does not agree with death, which seems unnatural to it. And that's what's important. Believing children from churched families practically do not experience this kind of fear. They know that death is the beginning of eternity for a person.

In no case should children be locked in a dark room or closet. And also to scare children with an “evil uncle” or someone else, to scare a child with the fact that “we will hand you over to other parents” or “you will live on the street”, etc. Apart from fear, these pseudo-pedagogical techniques will not bring anything.

I always recommend, especially to young people, to improve themselves physically (of course, not to the detriment of spirituality), to move actively, to become tempered. Unworked flesh confuses the young man with worthless thoughts. In addition, reasonable physical education trains not only the muscles, but, perhaps more importantly, the will, and accustoms to work. All the holy fathers avoided even the slightest idleness, spending their lives in prayer and work. In the case of persistent, constantly tormenting fears, you should visit a doctor. In this case, the disease must be excluded. If painful disorders are confirmed, then it is necessary to carry out appropriate treatment.