Help your neighbor. Detached "piety", or How to help correctly Help your neighbor
Project stage:
Project implemented
Objective of the project:
Provision of social support in the form of food, hygiene products, food for children, clothes for children and adults, medicines.
To unite people, to acquaint with the problems of those in need, to organize a quick humanitarian collection and timely assistance.
Project objectives:
Involving the maximum number of participants to provide assistance.
- Support and targeted assistance
-Involvement of social partners
- Carrying out charity events
- Attracting the attention of young people to existing social problems, instill in them the concepts of tolerance and compassion.
- To organize the participation of young people and the older generation in volunteer socially significant activities.
-Involvement of socially unprotected segments of the population
Results achieved in the last year:
As a result, targeted assistance was provided to more than 150 families in the cities of Shchelkovo and Fryazino alone. Increased social activity of residents. The work is carried out around the clock, families and youth have united and began to “Help Your Neighbor”, various requests come in every day and thanks to each other's support, we can provide it in a timely manner. The significance of the project has become very high, people have begun to feel supported if they are alone. We were able to get out of the most confusing and difficult situations. Many who asked for help became our like-minded people.
Social significance of the project:
Providing social assistance to low-income and large families, single mothers, orphans, families in difficult life situations, single pensioners.
Activities carried out within the framework of the project:
On August 18, 2017, assistance was provided to refuseniks from different cities of the Moscow region in the form of essential items for newborns.
- On August 8, 2017, assistance was provided to refuseniks from different cities of the Moscow region in the form of essential items for newborns.
- On September 8, 2017, targeted assistance was collected and transferred to residents of the DPR. Collected amount to pay for transportation.
- On September 15 and October 10, 2017, things, toys and kitchen necessities were donated to mothers and children for the Warm House in Pushkino through the Safe House Foundation.
- On October 27, 2017, men's warm clothes and shoes for the house of industriousness "Noy" were handed over.
- On November 21, 2017, things were handed over to a resident of the village of Pershkovo, Vladimir Region. During the fire, all things were burned. In the winter yard, two huge bags of warm clothes, linen and more were collected. Cereals are also transferred.
- On December 25, 2017, a joint action "New Year's miracle" was organized with the Association of mothers of the city of Fryazino "Mama Time" and the Charity Fund "Christmas Star" a trip to the House of Diligence "Noy". Things were taken away, sweet gifts, toys, warm clothes. An interactive performance of Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden, all the children were able to be with their favorite characters.
- On January 21, 2018, in connection with a fire in the House of Diligence "Noy", an urgent collection of things and a trip were organized together with the Association of Mothers of the city of Fryazino "Mama Time" and the charity fund "Christmas Star". More than 100 families responded. A gazelle of adult and children's things, food, cereals, hygiene products for children and adults, and medicines were sent.
- January 30, 2018 participation in charity photography for children with disabilities "Happiness in the house"
- December 27, 2017 and February 21, 2018 participation in the Christmas mail campaign. Preparing greeting cards for those in need of moral support.
- March 27, 2018 assistance in the organization and participation of the city of Fryazino. Action in memory of the dead in Kemerovo 03/25/2018.
The founder of the first Children's Hospice in Russia, rector of several churches in St. Petersburg, laureate of the State Prize of the Russian Federation, Archpriest Alexander Tkachenko talks about charity, the work of the hospice and Christian ideals
- Father Alexander, you were recently elected head of the commission of the Civic Chamber of the Russian Federation on issues of charity, civic education and social responsibility. I would like to congratulate you on this election - first of all, because it seems to me that it has become another step in recognizing the benefits of your work for the entire Russian society. But, of course, a new post is associated not so much with honor, but with new tasks, new challenges.
Please tell us what exactly the commission you lead is doing and will do.
In the Public Chamber, I head the commission on charity, civic education and social responsibility. We will work in these three areas. To improve the state of affairs in the charitable sphere, we plan, first of all, to develop recommendations and proposals on acute and controversial issues of charitable activities. These are, for example, the fight against false volunteerism, ethical problems: competition, “gray” charity, fundraising for personal bank accounts via the Internet, etc. Our commission will have to work out specific mechanisms for the participation of citizens in solving the country's social problems. As for civic education, its foundation is the upbringing of spirituality and the ability to sympathize with the grief of others. We will also draw public attention to the topic of social responsibility. Now in the minds of people this concept is associated with the responsibility of business to society. But in our opinion, it is worth talking about the responsibility of other groups of people and institutions: confessions, journalism, art, sports, etc.
The activities of the Commission on Charity, Civic Education and Social Responsibility, I am sure, will have a positive impact on the possibilities of providing palliative care to children with serious illnesses, because both the efforts of the state and the help of philanthropists and ordinary people are important in this matter. I want to use all the experience we have accumulated to develop the palliative care system in Russia. We need to make sure that assistance to children with severe and incurable diseases, as well as to the parents of such children, is of high quality and accessible in different parts of the country.
When did you first get acquainted with the activities of hospices? When did the idea to open such an institution in Russia come about? Have you received assistance from foreign colleagues with experience in this matter?
While still a student at a theological seminary, I became interested in the work of priests in medical institutions. In the United States, I managed to take a course in training for hospital chaplains, where I experienced firsthand what a person who has been given a terrible diagnosis feels. In 1997, I was ordained a priest, and already at the St. Nicholas Cathedral of the Epiphany in St. Petersburg, where I began my ministry, we began to help families as much as we could who were faced with a child's illness. At first it was just an initiative group of people. We took care of six or seven families in which children were seriously ill. But, as our activity became known, more and more people began to contact us, and it became clear: in order to help, we need to join forces. So in 2003 we created the Children's Hospice Foundation. An outreach service of social educators and psychologists provided assistance to patients at home. In 2006, the Medical Institution "Children's Hospice" was established, the number of mobile teams increased, and medical specialists appeared in them. Four years remained before the opening of the hospital.
The St. Petersburg Children's Hospice, founded by you in 2003, is the first institution of its kind in the country. Do other such institutions exist in Russia today, 14 years after its foundation? And, for comparison: when did children's hospices appear in other countries - in particular, in the West? How many now? How many hospices are there for the total number of seriously ill children in these countries, and how many do we have?
At the moment, the system of palliative care in Russia is in the process of formation. According to the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation, in 2016 there were 2 inpatient children's hospices and 38 departments of palliative care for children in 24 regions of Russia. In 19 subjects there are no palliative care beds for children in principle. Data on exactly how many children need palliative care vary greatly. This figure ranges from 40 thousand to 200 thousand. As for foreign experience, it should not be overestimated. Children's hospices as medical institutions providing comprehensive palliative care in different formats exist in England and Canada. In the United States, the field service format is more common. As for Europe, the experience of Poland can be noted here, but in general, in Europe, this form of palliative care for children is not developed.
- Is it possible to understand your words in such a way that in the field of palliative care for children, Russia does not lag behind the West?
Russia is not only not lagging behind, Russia is ahead of Western countries in this matter. The first children's hospice was opened about 25 years ago in England, the second in Canada, and our hospice became the third. Third in the world. In Germany, for example, hospices for adults are now being created, but as for children, so far European specialists are only discussing at various professional conferences how this could be done. In Poland, only some experience in providing palliative care to children has been accumulated, that's all. Today, Europeans come to us to get acquainted with our experience, adopt some practices and use them in the future, creating a similar institution in their country. In the near future, for example, we are expecting a delegation from Belgium.
I read that Christianity brought care for the dying to Europe - in the ancient world, following Hippocrates, they believed that doctors should not lend a hand to the terminally ill. If you ask Yandex or Google about the history of hospices, you will get the answer that in the Middle Ages there was a certain prototype of hospices, but subsequently such institutions disappeared and were revived first in the middle of the 19th century by Jeanne Garnier in France, then at the end of the same century Irish nuns in Dublin. Hospices in the modern sense of the word arose already in the middle of the twentieth century as a result of the activities of the Englishwoman Sisily Sanders. In all these cases, we are talking about religiously motivated service.
Today, many critics say that in Western countries, concern for one's neighbor is often divorced from Christian ideals. That it, rather, should be considered in the context of general humanistic ideas, concern for human rights.
In this regard, the question arises: how connected and is today's palliative care related to Christian ideals?
Of course it's connected. I do not agree that "in the West, concern for one's neighbor is often divorced from Christian ideals." Helping your neighbor is already a Christian ideal in itself. Moreover, this is one of the cornerstone postulates not only of Christianity, but also of any of the world religions. If you do not delve into a comprehensive philosophical analysis and speak in the context of palliative care, then I do not see any contradiction here between Christian ideals and general humanistic values. Both in the West and in our country, many charitable foundations associated with religious organizations help people, including those suffering from severe and incurable diseases, regardless of their religion, nationality, or ideological views. People working in these organizations, through active help to their neighbor, fulfill their service to the Lord.
I would like to ask one more question then. Have you established contacts with those people in the West who consider palliative care precisely as a religious ministry? If so, did you receive specific assistance from them? Which one? Can you name any specific implemented projects? Are there new projects of interaction with Christians in the West?
Yes, we have a successful experience of cooperation with foreign religious charitable foundations.
Our main partner is the Catholic foundation "Kirche in Not", with which we have been friends almost from the very beginning of our activity. You know that at one time we reconstructed the building of the Nikolaev orphanage in the Kurakina Dacha park, and in 2010 the first state hospice for children in St. Petersburg was opened there - St. Petersburg GAUZ "Hospice (for children)". In 2014, the Government of St. Petersburg handed over a building in Pavlovsk to the Autonomous Non-Profit Organization "Children's Hospice" for major repairs, a hospice for children in the Leningrad Region and other regions of the Russian Federation will be located there. We are reconstructing the building of the Przhevalsky estate in Domodedovo so that the children of the Moscow Region, just like the Petersburgers, can receive comprehensive palliative care. And the help of the Kirche in Not Foundation in the construction of new hospitals is invaluable. With the help of charitable funds transferred by this papal foundation, we managed to cover the roofs, equip the kitchens, and carry out internal communications in the renovated premises. At one time, it was thanks to "Kirche in Not" that we had an outreach service to provide assistance to patients at home.
In this regard, I would like to express special gratitude to the head of the Russian department of Kirche in Not, Petr Viktorovich Gumenyuk, who, as soon as he learned about our business, took part in the preparation and implementation of joint projects with great enthusiasm.
I never tire of repeating: the pain of a child has no boundaries. With our Catholic friends, we do not argue about dogmas. We join forces to help those who need our help the most here and now.
Please tell us about the religious component in the activities of your hospice - if, of course, I can say so. It is clear that you are a deeply religious person, a servant of the Church. What about your employees? Are they all practicing Orthodox? Or believers of other denominations and religions? Do you try to talk with your patients - in particular, with those children who were born in unbelieving and non-church families - about God, to bring them closer to the Church? Have these patients been converted to faith? Or, perhaps, on the contrary, in the face of severe suffering, someone lost faith?
First of all, I would like to note that the children's hospice grew out of the activities of a minister of the Russian Orthodox Church, which I was and am to this day, but still this is a secular institution. In our work, we single out a non-religious component - it would be more correct to say, “spiritual”. Spiritual help can take many forms depending on the needs of patients and parents. Joint creativity, enjoyment of nature, communication with animals, heart-to-heart conversations, etc. These are all different forms of spiritual care. If the patient or his parents feel the need to develop a relationship with God (however a person defines the Absolute Sacred Beginning for himself), we contribute to this in every possible way.
Of course, in many ways, religion is still the only and most effective psychotherapy for death. Therefore, communication with a priest is organically included in the system of spiritual care for the sick. But, I want to emphasize that spiritual support in the hospice is based on the principles of an interfaith approach. Children's hospice is not a place for preaching. This is a place for service, for talking about life, fate and the meaning of suffering; a place to meet God face to face. And it doesn’t matter if your ideas about God do not match with the patient and his parents: we respect the spiritual choice of the family and strive to make sure that an imam comes to a Muslim, and a rabbi comes to a Jew, we strive to support an atheist in his spiritual quest with some then in other ways.
The same applies to our employees. Different motives bring people – both employees and volunteers – to the Children's Hospice, some of them are believers, some are atheists. We respect everyone's choice. Of fundamental importance for us are the professional qualities, qualifications and competence of a specialist, as well as a sincere and disinterested desire to help, to see an individual in each person and respect it. Altruism and mercy are, after all, universal values.
There has been a lot of talk lately about the specific problems associated with the so-called "helping professions", which no doubt includes hospice work. In particular, this is the problem of burnout. I also heard that the motives of people who have embarked on the path of serving the weak, the sick, the dying, are not always crystal clear - someone is trying to solve their own psychological problems in this way. How true is this thought? Have you had to fire someone from the staff, realizing that they came to the hospice “for the wrong reason”? How often do your employees burn out? How can you resist this? Have you yourself become discouraged when, for example, you realized that you could not help a dying child, or when you could not get the necessary financial support for the hospice?
Daily assistance to terminally ill children and families who are faced with a serious illness of the child, indeed, requires from the staff of the Children's Hospice, on the one hand, high professionalism, and on the other, huge emotional and personal costs. Such work requires a high level of motivation, constructive motivation. I always say: in order to help others, you must first deal with your own destiny and solve all the important tasks that the Lord has set for you as a person, as a citizen, as a person. You can’t help people, guided by the principle “because someone is worse off than me.” When accepting a person to work in the Children's Hospice, we consider him as a professional and as a person, we try to understand what brought him to us. We pay attention to personal qualities, a person must be clearly aware that he will deal with people who are experiencing the deepest stress.
Hospice burnout is a common phenomenon. When you regularly come into contact with death, let someone else's pain pass through you, share the bitterness of the child's departure with your parents, you cannot remain calm and unperturbed. It is natural when someone else's grief evokes a response in us and does not leave us indifferent. One way or another, a person begins to project the situation onto himself, think about his own death, worry about relatives and friends. Therefore, the qualification of a specialist is so important in a hospice. It is important to be able to empathize, but not to identify with the patient and understand that the limits of your help are limited. To prevent burnout syndrome, we adhere to a flexible approach to organizing work: it is important to see if the employee is coping with the workload, to discuss what difficulties he or she encounters at work and why, etc. Here sensitivity and mutual support are important. Yes, some employees burn out and then they have to leave. Do something else, relax mentally, and then, perhaps, return with new forces, thoughts, ideas.
I get tired too. But this is not discouragement. The main thing that allows you to overcome fatigue, temporary difficulties is faith in God, serving the Liturgy and communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. This is where I find the strength to continue the service entrusted to me.
You have devoted almost a decade and a half of your life to hospice (or, perhaps, it would be more correct to say: hospices?). What moments do you remember the most? Which of them were the most joyful, and which, on the contrary, the most bitter?
Working at the Children's Hospice changes a person's attitude to life. The philosophy of the Children's Hospice boils down to the phrase "If you can't add days to life, then you need to add life to days." Following this principle, you begin to appreciate every passing day, every event acquires weight and significance, whether it is sad or joyful. You strive to live here and now, living every moment to the fullest.
During these, as you rightly said, almost a decade and a half, we have managed to achieve a lot, to survive a lot. In 2010, we opened the first state children's hospice in Russia. The one that the children dreamed about, that the employees planned to create. Of course, it was a great joy. In 2011, we opened the Palliative Center in Olgino - another home where children who came to St. Petersburg for treatment could stay, recuperate, etc. Hospices in Pavlovsk and Domodedovo are about to open, and these will also be joyful events that will mark the successful completion of one stage in work and life and the beginning of another.
The most bitter moments of working in the Children's Hospice - of course, is the departure of patients. Quite recently, two children left us in the hospital... We lived together for a long time: one of the children was in the hospice for two years. We tried to surround them with care and did everything in our power to alleviate their suffering and pain. They left for a better world, and all that remains for us now is to pray for them ... And remember with warmth the time we spent together, which, like a cup, filled to the brim with joy, love, care for each other.
In the end, I want to ask a purely practical question. What are the sources of funding for your hospice? And can our readers somehow help you? Including through donations?
St. Petersburg Children's Hospice is a partnership of three organizations: the Autonomous Non-Commercial Organization "Children's Hospice", the St. Petersburg Autonomous Healthcare Institution "Hospice (Children's)" and the Charitable Foundation "Children's Hospice". Each organization within the legal field has different capabilities, but together they complement each other, allowing the provision of comprehensive and high-quality palliative care for children. St. Petersburg GAUZ "Hospice (Children's)", being a state institution, receives funding from the budget of St. Petersburg, but it cannot cover all the needs of the institution. Therefore, the help of our non-profit organizations is very important here. ANO "Children's Hospice" and the charitable foundation of the same name exist solely at the expense of donations from legal entities and individuals.
Anyone can help children with severe and incurable diseases who are in the care of the Children's Hospice. You can make a donation online on our website www.childrenhospice.rf, you can also make a bank transfer. Our details:
At this time, charity events are held for children from orphanages, hospitals and social institutions. And even today we can say with confidence that not only on holidays, but also throughout the year, we hear about works of mercy. Charity is actively developing. This means that we can already talk about the culture of mercy - about who and how to help, so that this help is needed. We are talking about this with the elder sister of the Orthodox sisterhood at the St. Petersburg City Hospital No. 15, Natalia Guseva.
The sisterhood is called to help not “outwardly”, but “inwardly”
- Natalia, today, along with charitable organizations, Orthodox sisterhoods are also appearing. Perhaps they can be attributed to a form of social service to the Church. What are these organizations?
– Sisterhoods are a relatively new form of church ministry for women. During the Crimean War, the first communities of sisters of mercy were formed, one of the ardent defenders and champions of women's medical ministry was the famous doctor N.I. Pirogov. Well, if you calculate how much time has passed from the beginning of the sisterly movement in Russia to its end in 1917, you can understand that at present there is very, very little experience in building sister communities, and, accordingly, the initiators of this holy cause have to be pioneers.
First of all, it seems to me that one should understand that the sisterhood is called to help not “outwardly”, but “inwardly”. That is, you - as a sister of mercy - help, first of all, YOURSELF. You come to this rather quickly, finding yourself INSIDE this ministry, although, at first, people are driven by a natural desire to DO SOMETHING, to somehow serve God and the Mother Church, their neighbor. Perhaps somewhere a note of vanity slips through: after all, this service, in contrast to the GENUINELY FEMALE ministry in the family, is an OUTER, VISIBLE, NOTICED service ...
—What kind of help are the Orthodox sisterhoods called upon to provide? Is it just help in hospitals or some other ministry?
– The spread of “specializations” of sisterhoods only in St. Petersburg, not to mention Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, etc., is simply huge. This is a medical ministry, and social (like social workers), and educational (in orphanages), and catechism (when sisters only talk with people, teach the basics of faith) ... There are many directions. And one can never guess what exactly the sisterhood will do - one human sorrow brings 10 more ... So, for example, in the sisterhood of the Holy Martyr Elisabeth in Lakhta, at the hospice No. 1 of St. But when the orphans, whose parents died in this hospice, began to appear in the field of vision of the sisters, pedagogical ministry was born by itself ...
Now serving one’s neighbor no longer causes so many sidelong glances as, say, 10 years ago
- Can people from the outside be connected to such help? That is, those who want to help, but are not ready to join the sisterhood?
– I must say that our helpers provide us with great help - that is, those who have felt in their hearts a thirst for service, but are afraid or do not dare to clothe it in a sisterly form. And, thank God, they are not resolved: God's help, of course, is present, but discipline, responsibility to employees, exactingness on the part of management give rise to many disorders, both social and spiritual. And with those who help, the demand is not so strict yet, so they are a little more “free”. And at the same time they have the opportunity to take a closer look at this service, to understand: do I need it?
– Are people actively helping today?
– Thank God, now serving one’s neighbor no longer causes so many sidelong glances as, say, 10 years ago, when I first came to the sisterhood. I cannot judge the rest of the church organizations, because, unfortunately, I am almost “non-stop” in my obediences, I can observe and tell only what I see with us. So: people took a closer look, got used to it, reached out and trusted. Of course, I had to overcome temptations and ridicule. I remember when we came for the second or third time on New Year's Eve to wash the emergency room and help those who ended up in the hospital at that hour, all the staff of the department came out to look at us. And the ambulance doctors, it seems, passed information about us along the chain, because whole teams came to look at the crazy people, wiping the dirty toilet and examination rooms. Now less and less you meet a surprised look and twisting a finger at the temple - they already know, they will find out.
Let many powerful people of this world do charity "in fashion", the main thing is that they do it
- Charity today - what should it be like? What problems need to be addressed today? After all, we can already talk about a certain culture.
– Charity is taking its first flimsy steps today, like a one-year-old child. It is very joyful to see that it has become “fashionable” to do charity work. And there is no need for wry smiles: remember the publican Peter, who threw a loaf of bread at the beggar out of anger, and at the moment of death saw how this loaf outweighs all the evil deeds of his life. Let many powerful people of this world do it “in fashion”, the main thing is that they do it. And then - let's leave it to the Judgments of God. For they are more merciful than ours.
Therefore, to say how to sacrifice and to whom is not a very grateful thing. Naturally, I will say what is closer to me, for which my soul hurts. That is, I am an interested person, therefore I cannot impartially judge how and to whom one should help.
The only thing that seems to me is that the time has come for the authorities to get involved. Here I will try to explain why. For charity, as I said, they began to allocate funds. Grants have even been made available. But in order to draw up a plan for its receipt, and even more so - to report on it, it is necessary to maintain a specialist - an accountant-economist. Which naturally automatically cuts off small sisterhoods like ours from the competition. All our sisters are volunteers, they work for free, in their free time, for wear and tear. And to allocate from our already tiny donations to the salary of an economist to the detriment of the main activity - the hand will not be raised. Then: they allocate grants. But this year only for the program with children. For the rest, don't bother. But the same bum - he can not wait a year. He is now having problems, for example, with documents and admission to a boarding school.
Any of us can become a homeless person if his documents and mobile phone were stolen from him in an unfamiliar city
How do you think these and other problems can be solved?
– Why not consider grants from the position “for charitable activities”, and make reporting on them more elementary. Do not know. Further: I have never met more lawlessness than when processing lost documents. Any of us can become a homeless person, my dears, if his documents and mobile phone were stolen from him in an unfamiliar city. Everything! HOME is ready! Any request for an identity card goes through our vast Motherland by mail. While you can file a complaint by e-mail, send a petition even to Vladivostok, but receive a request that this person was registered at this address: please be kind enough to send THERE by mail and receive an answer FROM THERE. Add to this the official deadline for which you are required to answer (and be sure that you will not be answered before this deadline), then you can understand that during this time a person will have time to sheathe, fray clothes and generally disappear ... But, apart from the state, this problem no one will decide.
The next problem is with the same documents. Running around, I'll tell you, for three days at full capacity. Apply here and there, bring certificates from here and there. Why not find a solution that lies on the surface: create a ONE CENTER for lost documents. And, having come there and turned to the duty officer, the person will be able to get a scheme: in your SPECIFIC case, you need to leave requests in such and such windows, receive certificates in such and such and give it all to such and such a window. That is, to minimize the transport routes to the "lost". After all, in addition to the fact that organizations are located in different parts of the city, they also have the peculiarity of working in such a way that you won’t be able to manage two or three places in a day with all your desire ...
People love helping children. Why? Maybe because it's simple at first glance - he brought toys, transferred money to the account. Or because there is a lot of information about sick children, for example? Or such help seems more noble. But there are other categories of those who need help. How to strike a balance and help everyone?
- As for helping children ... Oh, what a difficult question ... How can you single out: it is necessary, inappropriate to help. EVERYONE needs help: both children and adults... But you understand... We have some kind of cliché or something... Children are our future. No, my dears, children are our past. And our future is old age. Remember, there is a story about how in a village family an old weak grandfather was sent to eat at the stove from a wooden bowl, because he spilled food and broke an earthenware plate. And a day later, the parents saw their son carve a wooden trough like a pig. To the question: why? the kid replied: this is for you, mom and dad, when you get old. Most instructive story.
We must help children, but not at the expense of the elderly. Here, you see, in my opinion, the stereotype is triggered. Everyone wants to see the results of their labor, the results of their good deeds. Despite the fact that the Lord taught us that one hand should not know what the other is doing, I still want to see how it works, my good deed. Because by doing this, you have already given a piece of your soul to this person. I understood this on my own: when I donated blood for a cancer patient who urgently needed a transfusion, but there was no blood. The patient died a day later. And here I am standing near his coffin and I understand that today a part of me will be buried with him - my blood (the transfusion was urgent, direct, that is, it was my blood).
The most difficult thing for us is to see in them what they themselves, often, no longer see in themselves - THE IMAGE OF GOD
- There is a certain category of people who seem to be on the sidelines of life. These are homeless people, those who suffer from alcoholism, probably, drug addicts and prisoners can also be included here. Helping them is not always in a hurry and not always easy. On the one hand, there is an opinion that a person is the blacksmith of his own happiness and is to blame for being at the bottom of society. On the other hand, it is not always clear what kind of help these people need?
– We often believe that assistance should be material and tangible. Remember the Monkey from the cartoon about a parrot, an elephant, a boa constrictor and a monkey? How a boa constrictor sent her greetings through the Baby Elephant, but she could not “feel” him in any way. So we, like a silly monkey, want to touch everything. And people very often just need our participation, our eyes, our (oh, the most scarce!!!) time!
The same homeless person or a hopeless patient - it seems: why invest in him. I remember that a homeless person was brought to the department, she rotted alive from the inside, fly larvae poured out of her natural holes. Holding back the urge to vomit, my sister and I (it was impossible to work for one because of the smell, and we changed: one works, the other breathes on the sidelines and waits out the spasm) undertook to wipe it with foam for washing and change into dirty rags, put on a diaper and wash our face. The ambulance paramedic who brought her shouted angrily at us: she was dying anyway. She had a couple of hours left. Why are you doing it??? Then we simply did not have time to answer this question, but I went home and thought: but really - why? Then I realized: because she is the Image of God, and she has the right to die like a human: clean, washed, well-groomed. And this is not necessary for her - she is already unconscious, but for me and everyone who is nearby ... This is approximately how you can answer the question of what homeless people need: the simplest and most difficult thing for us is to see in them what they themselves, often, they no longer see in themselves - THE IMAGE OF GOD.
The question of alms is very complicated, even because the teachings of the saints often give us directly opposite answers.
What about those who beg for alms? Today we know that among these people are not always in need, and there is a place for deceit, sometimes cruel. Serve or not?
– The question of alms is a very complicated one, even because the teachings of the saints often give us directly opposite answers. Probably, it is necessary to act in such a way that after meeting with a beggar you "do not scratch your conscience." After all, conscience is the Voice of God in us, and it can signal us. I remember once a drunk homeless man came up to me and asked for money. I told him: let's go to the stall, I'll buy you food. He agreed. While we were standing, I - all of myself a model of righteousness - told him: Instead of "mumbling" you would have bought food for yourself. And he answers me: for 10 rubles I can’t buy anything for myself, and by buying “mutter” with this money, I muffled the feeling of hunger. God, I haven't felt so ashamed in a long time. The Lord taught at a time - do not judge until you yourself find yourself in the same situation!
In general, our confessor told the sisters this: don't give money, but deeds. He asks "for food" - go to the store, buy it. He asks "for a ticket" - go to the station, buy it. Asks "for medicine" - a march to the pharmacy. Etc. This will really be an alms, because, firstly, you will spend every one more than you would throw in a mug, secondly, you will waste your precious time, thirdly, you will cut off from yourself those who collect not for what they ask ….
If you went to work for God, then He will be able to raise helpers from your spoiled children
“Charity goes to such extremes. A person sincerely wants to help and does it: visits orphanages, volunteers, sends donations to those in need. But often does not notice those who are nearby. For example, pensioners and veterans living in the neighborhood. And it also happens that his family does not receive attention and the necessary warmth. Is this an extreme or inevitable side of charity? And can it be avoided?
– What if the deeds of mercy take away the time of relatives and friends? You see, it is very difficult for us to keep to the middle - royal - way. And the answer is on the surface. There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week ... That is, if you went to the sick, then naturally, you took this time, first of all, from yourself, then from your neighbors. But we need to take a closer look: is this not the time that you would have spent looking at the zombie? Isn't this the time you would have your 15th "last" tea party with cake? Isn't this the time you spent chatting with your girlfriend and washing bones for your husbands? If - then, then, thank God that you don’t have it left. And then, look at how we limit the growth of our children. We just don’t chew food for them. The child is 12-15 years old, and he (she) cannot warm up breakfast or dinner (not to mention “do it”), or wash and iron linen, or clean the apartment. Who is growing? - egoist, owner and "quality consumer". Will he need you in his senile infirmity - no! But if you went to work for God, then He will be able to bring up helpers from your spoiled children. And everything will be - thank God!
But there is no need to rush to extremes, “loading” all your worries on God. Still, understand that your ministry is necessary for your own pacification. And be patient, and keep silent, and pray to yourself, and blame yourself, and go to bed later, and get up early, so that all the housework needs to be done by women's hands. Everything is for the good.
Our ministry is to take and delay the pain and sorrow of our wards
– One more point regarding more service in the sisterhood or volunteer work. It is probably not easy for everyone to endure someone else's grief, especially when the person you are helping leaves this life. And in general, not everyone is ready to see, if not daily, then often, illnesses, difficult diagnoses, suffering. But you also need to support a person, inspire hope. How not to break yourself?
- As for the difficulty in serving in this ocean of sorrows - everything is correct. But it is not in vain that sisterhoods are organized at churches. Mercy of God, if Christ is at the helm of the sister ship, and the navigator is a good and wise priest who loves his inconspicuous, “unprofitable” service, who cheers for him with all his heart, who prays with bloody sweat… Then everything will be fine. Not “without problems” – because they should be all the same if it is God’s work, but in the sense that all problems will turn for the good and for growth in oneself… The only thing is that one cannot get used to death. Because our ministry is to take and delay the pain and sorrow of our wards. Take on some of the blows of fate so that a weak person who does not yet know God does not break. And you, who know Him, can go to confession, you can pray, you have Holy Communion, so you definitely have to “take the blow on yourself.” Again and again and again… “If after meeting with you the patient does not feel better, it means that you have met him in vain” – Archimandrite Zosima (Sokur).
They leave sometimes. True, only two cases in all 10 years ...
– Does it happen that someone can’t stand it and leaves the sisterhood?
- They join the sisterhood, and, unfortunately, they leave. They leave both because of physical weakness (although they remain in the sisterly prayer synodik, and still they are with us in soul), and because of egoism (this is what you constantly ask for in prayer - do not let, Lord, fall ill with this egoism, do not let go of yourself )… All, of course, voluntarily, with the advice and warnings of the confessor. Now, as an older sister, I’m afraid to even recommend to join. A lot of problems pile up, purely human infirmity takes over: here, let's accept, and she will leave her obedience, we will again have to load it onto someone “fail-safe” ... I don’t want ... But what can my “I don’t want” mean here, if the Lord is calling. They come, they suffer, they break themselves, they are cleansed of selves in the crucible of sorrows… Well, sometimes they leave. True, only two cases in all 10 years, but it still hurts: it means that I didn’t see it somewhere, I didn’t find the key to my heart. After all, you perceive each sister as a child given to you by God. And you are afraid: Lord, I myself am weak, worthless, and also bear responsibility for them, why should I???
Try to look at the world from the position of a strong person
– Natalia, thank you for this conversation, sincere and wise. And at the end. The holy holidays are coming. What would you like to wish our readers? And most importantly - what to advise those who still doubt whether they can help someone, and do not know where to start and how to properly help their neighbor?
- I would like to wish you, my relatives, that the Lord is always with you. And this is the only thing that can have value both in this and in the next life. Behold, the Feast is approaching, when our Salvation will already appear on earth in the cold cave of Bethlehem and the host of heavenly powers will proclaim: “Christ is born, praise!” Let your heart respond to the Angelic call to praise God. How can we praise Him? How can a son or daughter glorify father and mother? Yes, my life, of course! With his good heart, his justice, his generosity and mercy. What do you want. Try to look at the world from the position of a strong person. That is, from the position: who can help? Well, at least a few hours a day. And this does not require any special attitude: just say thank you to the janitor for a clean yard, just smile at a confused girl, just hold an old woman by the elbow ... Little effort, but pleasure - for the whole day. Check it out! Happy Holidays!
Prepared by Maria Smetanina
Photo courtesy of Natalia Guseva
Let's be kind to old age
Target: to cultivate kindness, respect for the older generation, the ability to respect close people (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather).
Progress of the information hour
Today our information hour is called: "Let's be merciful to old age", it is dedicated to the Day of the elderly. We will talk about how lonely people live, about the good that is so necessary for each of them.
In every country there is a category of people who require special attention and care. These are elderly people. Older people are experienced, wise, kind. Today is just grandparents for you. But sit down and talk to them, and the pages of their lives will open to you. And this is the history of every family, the history of our people.
Such is their fate - to remain in four walls one on one with their problems, illnesses. If only you knew how they are waiting for one of us to come to them. We often do not notice them - hunched, wrinkled. They are always there. On the bus, the young one violently pushes his grandfather, who wants to sit on the edge of the bench. As it turned out, he took this place for his friend, who was supposed to get on the bus. And grandfather awkwardly walks away, bowing his head.
The old grandmother bitterly complains about her fate: “I have children and grandchildren, but they have renounced me, they scream, they hate, they call me names.” And there are many such examples. The question arises: what is it? Bad manners? Conscience deficiency? Or maybe we think that old age will bypass us?
Not! Old age is a stubborn beast, wrinkling his face and arms, clasping a hump on his shoulders and giving everyone a stick. Old age even more requires attention, love, care and affection. But often it remains without it.
Whom she forces to beg, whom she forces to escape from hunger and cold...
Every day we see the sad eyes of those who are united by the word "old age", we see hopelessness, despair. These people are often lonely.
Grandma's years
Our grandmother walks, knocking with a stick,
I tell my grandmother: "I'll call the doctor,
From his medicine you will become healthy,
It will be a little bitter, what's wrong with that.
You will suffer a little, and the doctor will leave,
We are with you, grandmother, we will play ball.
We will run, grandmother, jump high,
See how I jump, it's so easy."
The grandmother smiled: “What do I need a doctor for,
I'm not sick, I'm just old
Just very old, gray hair,
Somewhere I lost my young years.
Somewhere behind the huge, behind the dark forests,
Beyond the high mountain, beyond the deep river.
People don't know how to get there."
I say to my grandmother: “Remember this place!
I'll go there, I'll swim, I'll go,
I will find your young years!
We know a lot about the life of football players, astronauts, actors. And what do we know about those who are close to us, people close and dear to us, whose continuation we are? (Children answer).
Grandmother... She embodies kindness and affection, diligence and wisdom, generosity and devotion. Take a closer look at how your grandmothers' shoulders straighten out when you, their grandchildren, appear in the yard. Grandmother, like a tireless bee, cooks food for the whole family, sews, embroiders, knits socks. But can you list all her work? And the most responsible of all jobs is caring for grandchildren.
Grandfather... Elder, head of the clan. Silver-haired grandfathers have long enjoyed unsurpassed authority, who knew everything and could give good advice.
Unfortunately, children, there are also grandparents who live alone. Their children and grandchildren are far away, rarely visit the elderly. And it often happens that they send their elderly parents to boarding schools for the elderly. The boarding schools are good: they are well-groomed, not hungry. But their eyes are full of sadness and sadness. They are always waiting for their children and grandchildren. They hope that they will come at least to visit them.
An audio recording of the song "Parental House" sounds.
Loneliness... It exists for the indifference and cruelty of those who live next to us, who have to look after their relatives. Lonely old age... What terrible words. For various reasons, fate scattered the children far from home. And they do not always rush to their old parents.
Grandmother Katya lived in one village. She had two sons and a daughter. They have gone far, live their lives, raise children, work. And grandmother Katya, meanwhile, grew old, began to get sick. She writes letters to the children to come and take her away, because it’s hard to run the household alone. And the kids have no time. Daughter Maria received the letter in the morning and read it only in the evening. Didn't find the time before. And Katya's mother writes that she is very sick, that she probably won't survive the winter. He wants to see his daughter and sons at least before he dies. “My dears, come at least for a day. I will see you and then I can die in peace.”
So the old woman did not wait for her children when she was alive ...
An audio recording of Igor Sarukhanov's song "My dear old people" sounds.
Children, do not forget your grandparents, mothers and fathers. May the joy of their life in their declining years not fade, and be kind to them.
Speak kind words
Do not skimp on the smiles of your neighbors,
People wither like grass
Leaving untimely from life.
Don't look for the right moment
Call someone in a hurry everyday
Maybe tomorrow there will be a subscriber
Forever sadly unavailable.
Do not accumulate a heap of good feelings,
To then write them in an obituary.
Everyone who is dear to us, let him know
Every day, how much he is dear to us.
People wither like grass...
How would you take a minute from yesterday?
Say all the kind words
And create a memory while still alive.
If you only knew how many old people live in poverty today, how many people live in dilapidated shacks or even do not even have a roof over their heads. They beg and are glad for even a piece of stale bread.
Creative work "The elderly and the young."
Now I suggest that you think about how old people can help the young, and how the young can help the old. For example: old people can give wise advice, teach patience, etc. Young people can give old people attention, care, a kind word, etc.
Then the students talk about how they can help their grandparents or just the elderly on the street.
Old age... How imperceptibly it comes. Someone resists her, disagrees, rebels ... Another in sad humility begins to retreat: “I can’t ... If my youth returned, I would take care of myself, the energy that I lost in vain, the health that I did not appreciate ".
In order to be young, healthy, not grow old longer, you need to listen to the advice of wise people. I bring to your attention the legend
"Old Age and Youth"
Carefree Youth walked the Path of Life, singing that everything is indifferent, that she can easily cope with all sorts of disasters and is not at all afraid of anyone. But one day Illness grabbed her.
What do you want from me? - Youth asks her.
A little health and strength, says Illness.
Take it, I've had enough! Rather, just back off!
Old Age heard this and said: “Oh, Youth, Youth! The disease must be driven away, and not given health in pieces.
What is your business, - Molodost retorted in response, - I live as I want, and I do what I want!
Old age wanted to convince the unreasonable, but Youth lifted its head even higher and walked along the paths of Life, and then suddenly False overtook it. And having overtaken, she led the untrodden paths to Meanness and Hypocrisy. Further stuck to her, like pitch, Laziness and Envy.
Old age kept instructing Youth on the mind, but always heard: “What is your business?”
After long wanderings, Youth met Love. When they met, they began to look at themselves. And she felt ashamed. I wanted to be the best, worthy of my companion. Only then did she come to Old Age for advice. And Old Age looked at her - only traces of Youth remained - and, with regret, said: "Now it's too late."
How did you understand this legend? (children answer).
The wise French say: “If only youth knew this, if old age could…” or “old age is not a joy, no one expects it, everyone manages to push back its unwanted arrival. But it still unexpectedly sneaks up, and you already understand with sad prudence that all the best has already happened, everything is in the past. And with you are memories and illnesses, loneliness and weakness. It's good when your relatives live next to you - children, grandchildren. And if they are not?
It’s good when you have built a warm family nest during your life path, when native smiles radiate around, children’s laughter rings. And if it doesn't...
Soso Pavliashvili's song "Let's pray for parents" sounds.
Since ancient times, bells, in addition to worship, were widely used as an alarm to warn of any kind of trouble - a fire, an enemy invasion, etc. (The bells are ringing - an audio recording sounds.) Today the bells are sounding the alarm, calling us to mercy, kindness. For only mercy makes us real people.
This is where our conversation ended. I hope that we all will become kinder, more merciful, and this hour of kindness will develop into a daily need to do good. It is not easy for all of us in today's difficult time, but remember that there are people around who are much worse off. And we can at least slightly improve their lives. I turn to you with a request: "Youth, look into the eyes of old age"
Unpopular Virtue
The virtue of compassion is not listed among the main Christian virtues, but it is a manifestation of the most important Christian virtue - love.
It is impossible to love people and at the same time not participate in their lives, remain indifferent to what happens to them. Perhaps right now they need our help, they need just what is called participation.
Meanwhile, it often happens that a person who considers himself a zealous Christian locks himself in his church life on those deeds of piety that he himself considers the only ones necessary for salvation.
He regularly goes to church, confesses and takes communion, performs evening and morning prayer rules at home, reads the holy fathers, but at the same time he completely distances himself, moves away from those people who surround him in everyday life. There is a seemingly plausible and even natural explanation for this - the surrounding people are of a different, non-Christian spirit.
Indeed, it is not uncommon that a person begins to live a church life, and the people who make up his social circle still remain non-church. They have different interests, and then ideas about life, and in this it is easy enough to find an excuse for yourself to move away from these people.
A person moves away from them, and from the worries that they live with, and from what happens to them, but there are no other people around him. And it turns out that he becomes a stranger in a world alien to him, that he no longer lives a living life - natural, normal for a believer, because for this you need to come into contact with people, to delve into what is happening to them, and he, as it were, glides over the surface, it passes by. So, imperceptibly for himself, the most important thing leaves his life - this is love for other people, indifference to them.
Why is it so important? Let's remember what we know about God? We know from the catechism that God is omnipotent, we know that God is good, that He created everything that exists. But it is not only difficult for a limited, created being to penetrate the mystery of Divine existence, but, by and large, it is impossible.
And at the same time, there are things that we know about God for sure. For example, the fact that He loves a person and that there is nothing in human life that would not concern God: every little thing, every insignificant event connected with us is everything, as Holy Scripture and the Tradition of the Orthodox Church testify, God is most directly interested in , and in all this the Lord necessarily participates, because He does not despise even the slightest human need.
If God treats people this way, then it is quite obvious that He expects the same attitude towards each other from us. And it is quite natural that if God descends from His ineffable heights to the everyday, elementary manifestations of human life, then we should not ignore this either.
So one can even say this: if a person remains indifferent, indifferent to the needs, sorrows, experiences of the people who surround him, then he cannot be a good Christian, he cannot be a Christian in principle. By and large, he can be called a person with a very big stretch.
General quality of saints
If we look at those who have been glorified throughout the history of the Church as saints, we will see that they were very different people - with different temperaments, with different life experiences, with different, as we would say today, educational level and social status; but there is one thing in common: among the saints there was not a single indifferent and indifferent person.
Even if we read about hermits who avoided the company of people who did not communicate with them, then, having become acquainted with their life a little more deeply, we can understand that the time spent in hermitage and silence was filled not only with a prayer for God's mercy to them, but but it has always been a prayer for the whole world and for the people living in it.
There is such a case in the life of St. Arseny the Great: people come to him who would like to see him, and among them the then Archbishop of Alexandria. In the end, they could not see him: he did not come out to them, because he did not want to violate the seclusion that he had set for himself at that time as the rule of life, and they retired with great sorrow.
Subsequently, they came again, and they already had the opportunity to meet him. And so they complained: “Last time we left you with nothing, having taken such a path, you did not even see us.” He said, “Yes, but when you went home, you had some time on the road and the opportunity to repent of your sins. You stopped to sleep, to eat, and I stood and prayed for you until you got home.”
There is also a similar episode in "Answers to the Questions of the Disciples" by St. Barsanuphius the Great and John the Prophet. We are talking about the disasters that are coming to the world of that time, and the Monk Barsanuphius says that this world would have had a bad time if it were not for the prayers of three holy men who rise like a kind of fiery pillar from the earth and meet before the Throne of God.
This slightly opens the veil over the life of the saints, reveals to us the secret of their inner life and explains that, despite their apparent indifference to anything, they participated with all their hearts.
Don't reach out - reach out the staff
Since we, on our part, cannot offer such participation in the existence of the world - our life is not like that, our prayer is not like that, we must participate in it by deed. And here elementary common sense should be of great help to us.
When we try to render a person some kind of service, we try to help him in something, then, naturally, we should not do this against his will and against his desire (unless, of course, we are talking about a person who, for example, is drowning , - it still needs to be pulled out of the water). Our job is to start helping a person, to offer him our help, and if he rejects it, to retreat without imposing our participation.
After all, of course, there is such an extreme: believers, pious people want to make someone happy without his desire. Of course, nothing good comes from this intention, but on the contrary, it turns out only temptation, grief and frustration.
In general, when we want to help another person, it is extremely important to try to understand what he needs, and to help precisely in this, and not in what it gives us pleasure to help him. In a word, it is important that our help coincides with his ideas about help.
And, of course, helping people does not imply any indulgence in their sinful skills and passions. Here we can give an elementary and fairly common example: a heavy drinker and, possibly, a person living on the street comes up to us on the street and asks for money to get him drunk.
Naturally, he does not need to give money for this; it is wiser, if he is hungry, to buy food - buy it yourself and give it to your hands so that he will not be tempted to buy alcohol. Of course, you can say: don’t you understand, we will buy him food, but he will go and still find somewhere for a drink. Well, what to do with it - let him die of hunger? So this should not be treated in any way.
Continuing the theme of the limits of help that should not be crossed: there is another limit - the extent to which one can give this help to people at all.
The same St. Barsanuphius the Great has this image: if a person fell into a pit, do not stretch out your hand to him - stretch out your staff to him. And he explains why. If you stretch out your hand to him, and instead of getting out of the hole, he will pull you towards him, then you will fall into the same hole. And if you stretched out the staff, then a person who wants to get out of the pit will grab the staff and get out with your help; if the fallen one does not want to get out and pulls the staff towards him, then you will simply let go of the staff.
In my opinion, this is a kind of ideal model of what kind of help should be, because it happens that a person begins to help someone and as a result his family, his relatives suffer. In the end, he himself comes to such a destruction of his own life that then he cannot put it back together again - and of course, such sympathy is hardly justified.
The apostle Paul says that our abundance should be the filling of someone else's deficiency and vice versa. It must be so, because everything else is a little absurd.
If a person is not just looking for help, not just not coping with the situation, but is looking for someone, figuratively speaking, to sit on his neck and wave his legs at the same time, then, of course, he should not be given such an opportunity, because in this way we will do a disservice.
By doing something for a person, and not with him, we corrupt him. The same thing happens in raising a child: if parents do everything for him, then they will raise a capricious, spoiled and completely unadapted person.
If they just help him and do something with him, then this is a completely different matter. The child is gradually learning, and the measure of participation of mom and dad in his life is gradually decreasing. It should be the same in our relationships with adults, with others.
About unwashed floors and missionary talk
Should our sympathy be manifested in the desire, the desire to bring our loved ones to the temple? On the one hand, of course, yes, because it is unnatural when a person who has found for himself the most important thing in life - a priceless bead of faith in Christ, is indifferent to the fact that this bead turned out to be unnoticed by people dear to him.
There is even a doubt whether he loves them, because we are talking, no less, about the eternal fate. On the other hand, any attempts to directly influence loved ones in this regard, as a rule, turn out to be unsuccessful and ineffective. The people around us are more convinced by our example: they see that some changes are taking place in us, they see that what they have tried unsuccessfully to achieve from us for many years suddenly happens as if by itself ...
Here lived a man who never cleaned his house, did not wash the dishes, did not buy groceries, let alone cook something. And all of a sudden he starts doing it. The family is amazed: what happened to him? And there is an interest in the good that their loved one has been opened to them in such a new way.
And if a man, as before, enters a dirty apartment in exactly the same way and does not sweep the floors, but waits for his wife to do it for him, after that he can convince her of anything, but he will not convince her of anything except that some new whim appeared for him.
And it also happens that a person who wants to attract his loved ones to life in the Church acts very rudely and authoritatively, so that it becomes clear that this is not about love, but about some exactingness: “this is mine, and everyone should accept it ".
And this also never leads to good: quarrels, strife, accusations begin. As a rule, such conversations end with something like: “You don’t listen to me - you will burn in fiery hell.” What can be said about this...
There is also such a situation: a believer, a church person is preparing to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ, and he has a lot of things to do: he needs to read the following for communion, he needs to fast, he needs to go to the service in the evening.
And so, when he begins to prepare, his relatives, relatives, and friends suddenly begin to distract him from this. And not just somewhere they call him for a walk or offer to have fun, but one thing happened for one, another happened for another, the third requires some kind of heartfelt participation, conversation.
It begins to seem to a person that all this is some kind of interference - he gets annoyed, annoyed, tries to move away from all this and does not understand at all that this is the same element of preparation for communion. Participation in the lives of other people, helping them, including sometimes with a conversation, and with some kind of heartfelt sympathy - these are deeds of love: perhaps, in the person of these people, the Lord Himself addressed a person, came, but he did not notice Him and at the same time wants to be involved in His Body and Blood.
Of course, this is a completely wrong attitude. In some cases, the question arises: “yes, but what to do”? Yes, this is how it should be: take part in another person, give him the necessary time and strength, and if you really want to take communion, read the rule at night, perform at least once such a feat of both Christian love and Christian piety.
Help, and then understand yourself
It must be remembered that sympathy is not human pleasing, and not a way to satisfy vanity; we can distinguish one from the other primarily by the intention that lies in our heart. Why are we doing this or that? You should get into the habit of asking yourself this question.
Sometimes a person asks: “What if I see narcissism in the first place? Should I give up on this?" No, the deed still needs to be done, and I'll explain why. Because there is another person, there is his need, there is some kind of his grief, and he, by and large, does not care about what we are going to help him with.
This is our inner experience - vanity, narcissism or something else. These are our problems. Therefore, if such a situation arises and we cannot deal with our feelings, we must postpone this trial, help the person, and then repent that vanity or something else was present in this or that act.
If we already have some experience in the spiritual life, we can try to go the way of correction already in our intention, right away. Here a person appeared before us, his need arose, a desire to help appeared, we realized that in the first place there was some kind of desire to please our vanity. Vanity aside, business is a necessity, we do it. Such a skill is developed in a person in due time, with the acquisition of spiritual experience.
And the second question that you need to ask yourself is: “Who do I want to please with my actions: man or God?”. Or at least like this: “Is what I do pleasing to God, or not?”. If this question arises, as it were, by itself, it means that a certain attitude towards pleasing God is already present in us. And our conscience often tells us whether this matter is really pleasing to God or not.
When we ask such a question, it is very important to have in ourselves a certain guarantee of obedience to God: after all, the Lord may not allow us to do the work that we want (even, it would seem, very good), may hinder it.
If a person is ready to retreat from his intention, if the Lord shows him that it is wrong, then the Lord, as a rule, shows, in some obvious way gives an answer. We get confused in something, we do not understand something when we are not ready to accept and fulfill the will of God.
When this readiness exists, a person almost always recognizes it one way or another. And this, in fact, is not some kind of secret, not some kind of secret. This is truth and reality.
Prepared by Elena Sapaeva
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