Why are you afraid to go to school? Why the child is afraid to go to school What to do if you are afraid of school.

The school year has begun and there is so much more to come. However, some parents have already encountered certain difficulties. For example, what if a child is afraid to go to school? Under no circumstances should this problem be ignored.

as this in the future may cause mental disorders in the child. Let's look at the reasons that cause a child to be afraid of school.

There are children who joyfully jump up in the morning and cheerfully run to the lessons. But there are many more who go without much enthusiasm. Sometimes everyday fees turn into real torment for both the child and his parents. In the eyes of the baby, horror and tears at the mere thought of going to school. In such cases, we are talking about school phobia. Today, teachers, parents, and psychologists talk about this phenomenon with concern. But in our time it is difficult to imagine a normal child isolated from school life. How to find a way out of the impasse?

Experts note that accurate statistics that determine the scale of the phenomenon do not yet exist. For example, according to French experts, 2-3 percent of all students suffer from school phobia in a serious form. Psychologists emphasize that these children are not at all capricious and not lazy. Often, on the contrary, they can learn very well. But the very need to enter the school building seems to turn on some brakes.

Sometimes a poorly conscious panic begins, the school world causes a sharp rejection in a child or teenager. Uncontrollable anxiety can be accompanied by insomnia, pallor, palpitations, headache, and sometimes even a fever. Most often, school phobia is associated with some deeply hidden childhood fears. But the easiest way for a child is to direct the alarm to a specific object - the school.

Who's guilty?

Psychologists believe that in children, the rejection of the school world often becomes a reflection of the fear of separation. The child is subconsciously afraid to part with his mother for a long time, only with her he feels completely safe. Sometimes a school phobia masks a very specific fear of communicating with peers if they treat the child aggressively or, for example, laugh at him. Worry about possible failures at school is another reason for constant fear. Many parents are concerned about the future success of their offspring almost from the cradle. And children feel this very well. And then school life from the very beginning for them becomes a source of increased anxiety. Often the origins of the phobia are not related to the educational institution at all. Fears can reflect any circumstances that threaten the emotional security of the child: difficult relationships with parents, a family that is too closed, fenced off from the rest of the world, a divorce between mom and dad, etc.

Age of risk

Experts believe that exacerbation of school fears usually happens at the most key, transitional moments in the life of a child and adolescent. The first period - 6-7 years, the beginning of attending an educational institution, the second - 10-11 years, the end of primary school. And of course, the difficult teenage period of growing up - starting from the age of 14-15. The biggest risk is that school phobia, if not overcome, can give rise to the so-called social phobia: fear of communication, fear of public places. And in the end, already an adult can doom himself to social isolation.

After summer holidays

One of the reasons for the occurrence of a phobia can be a return to school after a long summer vacation or a change of school, as this is a rather serious test for a child. Here are the simplest rules that will help you avoid possible problems.

First of all, it is important to understand that adaptation should be gradual. If yesterday the child went to bed after midnight and woke up for dinner, then tomorrow it will be extremely difficult for him to get up at seven in the morning. The main requirement for an effective daily routine of a student is its stability. It is important that the child has breakfast, lunch and dinner on time, goes to bed and gets up at the same time, walks and does homework, and so on. Such a regime during the adaptation period is a certain signal for the body: “Everything is in order, the situation is standard, no surprises are expected, you can calm down.”

Parents should be prepared for the fact that in the first weeks and months of study, most likely, more of their control and help will be required for the child, even if he is no longer a first-grader. The participation of adults is necessary to comply with the routine of the day, in order to set the child up for homework, to deal with difficult moments in school, perhaps forgotten over the summer. It is necessary to praise more, support his efforts and efforts so that the student has enough time to sleep and walk in the fresh air. But if possible, it is better to postpone the beginning of visiting sections and circles for 2-4 weeks, allowing the child to first get involved in studies.

It is also important for parents to remember that not only first-graders at the beginning of the school year find themselves in a new environment for themselves. Older students are also forced to go through adaptation again when, for one reason or another, they find themselves in a new class and school.

Looking for another school?

Transferring a child to another school can be one of the cures for a phobia. Although, as a rule, this is not a cardinal solution, but only a displacement of the problem. True, sometimes such a measure can be the first step towards overcoming a school phobia.

In connection with the move or other circumstances, the child comes to an already established team, being the only newcomer there. The situation is different when a completely new class is formed, for example, when enrolling in a gymnasium or when completing specialized classes.

Stress in a student occurs in both situations, but the first option is more difficult for most children. Getting into the team of children who have been studying together for several years, the student one way or another turns out to be the object of increased attention. The child is worried about how new classmates will accept him, whether he will be able to find friends. In addition, she worries about how relations with teachers will develop, whether it will be too difficult to study in a new class.

When helping a child during this period, it is important to understand that excessive intervention can do more harm than good. And the older the child, the less obvious should be the intervention of parents. At first, various difficulties may arise in a new place, but it is important to allow the child to solve them on his own, and not to act as a constant intermediary between him and classmates or teachers.

At first, you need to be especially attentive to the child, ask him about school, about the guys, about the past day, sincerely be interested in his success. If you can see that the student is constantly depressed and talks about problems in relations with classmates, it may be necessary to intervene in the situation of parents and the class teacher.

The way out is in unity

There are a great many reasons for school fears and their extreme manifestation - phobias. Therefore, in each case, the main thing is to understand what exactly the child is afraid of. And then look for ways to help him. It is important not to dismiss the problem, not to leave the student alone with his fears and suffering. In some cases, the professional help of psychologists is required: either individual work or in groups. But family therapy is considered the most effective. To help the child make school life joyful, joint efforts of both parents and teachers are needed.

The current programs for educational institutions are continuously updated and modified. The material is not easy and students may simply not perceive it. Quite often it happens that a child listens to well-read information, but is unable to understand it, so it is necessary to analyze the material covered at school already at home. If in the elementary grades it is still possible to understand what is at stake, then in the older ones it is no longer easy. Thus, the child begins to be afraid of the educational institution, since the homework is not done, the teachers give deuces, and the parents chastise for them. The psyche of a teenager cannot stand such stress and there is a fear of the school, which needs to be disposed of urgently.

Fear of school may arise due to the inability of the child to master the educational material

What is School Fear

The fear of going to school is called didaskaleinophobia, it is characteristic only of schoolchildren and appears only at the time of class. In essence, the concept of didaskaleinophobia literally stands for "fear of school". Formally, such a phobia may not immediately declare itself in full. Often parents perceive the reluctance to go to school as laziness, a desire to take a walk or do something else, but not the educational process. But it is precisely at these moments that one should not turn away from the problem, it is necessary to take it with all responsibility and find the real reason for absenteeism. This is especially pronounced in elementary school, because. the child has not yet fully adapted to the training and requirements, and heavy workloads without family support can lead to the appearance of a phobia

The mistake of parents is that they consider a phobia to be a manifestation in all spheres of a child's life at once, and fear appears in a particular case. If you eliminate the irritant, then the fear goes away by itself. It is impossible to neglect such manifestations in a teenager. The longer time and attention is not given to the problem, the more strongly it grows into consciousness. Later, it can develop into severe anger, which is associated with a panic state and depression.

Signs and symptoms of having a phobia

The most complete and accurate description of the fear of school was described by Khersov. He believed that the problems began with questionable complaints about the educational institution, or with her forced attendance. Later, this develops into a complete refusal to go to school, not taking into account persuasion from the parents. The closer the time to go to school, the more the behavior and mood of the child changes. Many children say that they have a desire to go to school, but when they need it, nothing comes out because of panic attacks.

Parents should sound the alarm when these kinds of symptoms appear:

• asphyxiation attacks;
• interrupted breathing;
• too fast pulse and heart rate;
• strong sweating;
• chills and shudders;
• the child becomes paler, there is a breakdown, which can lead to loss of consciousness.

In addition to the above, a teenager may experience nausea, dizziness and intestinal colic.

Surprisingly, in the presence of this disease, the child may experience fear before the seizures of fear itself. In addition, the older the child, the stronger these manifestations can be.

Children can rush around the room at such moments, his behavior will be panicky, or he will be motionless for a long time. Such signs are difficult to date to whims and should be given due attention to them.

Asphyxia is one of the signs of a phobia

Reasons for fear

It is foolish to think that manifestations of fear before going to school can appear as a result of one stressful situation that occurred in an educational institution. In most cases, this is a protracted process, where the student is constantly exposed to negative factors that cannot be immediately eliminated:

• bullying from classmates that teachers ignore;
• cruelty towards a child;
• ridicule;
• endless threats from high school students;
• high employment and heavy loads (physical and mental);
• psychological reproaches from the side of teachers.

There are non-standard symptoms of didaskaleinophobia. It happens that a phobia occurs when a student experiences a panic, thinking that trouble can happen to his parents at the time of his absence. It may be that quarrels among relatives and troubles sink into the student’s head so much that at school he cannot get rid of them, trying to resolve their difficulties for relatives, therefore he does not want to attend an educational institution. Under any circumstances, the school is the main period of the student's socialization, so the fear of school must be overcome.

School workload may be one of the causes of frustration

How to overcome the fear of going to school

Most often, a student does not have the opportunity to fully understand exactly how didaskaleinophobia manifests itself, how to overcome it and eliminate it forever, what really prevents him from attending an educational institution. Based on this, the help of a professional is needed. In these cases, you should seek help from professionals in this field. First of all, these are child psychologists who can gradually determine all the reasons for such behavior in a child. A psychologist can explain how to get rid of pressure from classmates or discourage them. It will educate and change the student's views on the world so that he can look at the problem from a different angle and eliminate it on his own. If a child is very afraid for his parents, then a professional will be able to explain to him what to do when his relatives are not around.

In combination with the work of a psychologist, the student is prescribed certain antidepressants, physical therapy, or other exercises that will distract the child from the problem. Physical education can help a child overcome self-doubt.

If the onslaught comes from the family, then it is important to have conversations with relatives. Close people are obliged to reconsider their attitude towards their own child and try to solve the problem without interfering with the child in it.

Most parents, when they hear from specialists that their child is afraid of school, breathe a sigh of relief - the problem is not so serious. Only this is the beginning of a complex psychological illness that can develop into something more. If this trouble is not addressed in time, then the child will not want to attend school at all, up to suicidal tendencies or running away from home. This will not happen immediately, but it should not be brought to this point. Any fear can be eradicated by finding it and eliminating it. Didaskaleinophobia is no exception if you seek the help of a highly qualified specialist in this field. He will be able to give the necessary advice:

Transfer your child to homeschooling. This is necessary and important, because the child must have the necessary knowledge.

Do not scold him for some weaknesses - the indignation of relatives will only aggravate the situation. Only with the help of patience and sympathy can one cope with the psychological problems of a student.

The child must be supported, even if he received a bad grade. It is necessary to demonstrate that there is nothing terrible in this, everything can be corrected by better preparation of the material covered.

A little reminder to parents! In order for this phobia to be eliminated, parents should start with themselves, only relatives will help the student eliminate the fear. There should be a favorable atmosphere, trust and mutual understanding in the family circle.

Close people are obliged to show attention and patience, not to blame the child for all his failures. Having overcome the fears of constantly being guilty before the parents, the child will have confidence in support and protection. At school, he will find a common language with those children who will accept him for who he is, and he will learn to resist all his enemies. He will be interested in going to school. It is important to convey to the child that he will not be perfect for everyone, which means that you should not always listen to everyone's opinion.

If you noticed that the child's behavior is similar to the symptoms described above, then take the necessary measures, think about the microclimate in the family. You should analyze your own behavior, since quite often children copy the behavior of their loved ones. Based on this, you need to set an example for children based on their own behavior, and this will help them achieve unprecedented heights and overcome a lot of difficulties. It is necessary to communicate a lot with the child, learn about his problems and not let him withdraw into himself.

In the life of every kid there comes a moment when he grows up and from yesterday's kindergartener turns into a first grader. It would seem that both mom and dad were preparing for school, and in kindergarten the teacher tried to teach everything that a first grade student should know, but there is still a feeling of fear of school.

Sometimes the children themselves cannot explain what caused it, because friends will study with him, and he went to preparatory courses, met the teacher. But the feeling of fear does not disappear. Some kids are even able to throw a tantrum before going to school or cling to their mother's hand and not let go when she, after seeing her child to school, walks towards the exit of the building.

School scares the unknown...

Parents should not worry about such scenes. This is absolutely normal. After all, the first year of school is considered the most difficult for students. This is a turning point in a child's life. After all, with the advent of the school, the usual life of the child changes dramatically. The workload increases, new relationships are formed, daily games are replaced by training sessions. For the baby, all this is a lot of stress. He needs some time to adapt to the new conditions.

Let's find out what exactly can scare your child.

First, it is an increased workload. This is not only physical, but also psycho-emotional. Just yesterday, the kid played games with friends, and today he should already receive knowledge and confirm it daily with his answers to the assessment. Many academic disciplines are a big challenge for a child, because each subject teaches something different and requires certain responsibilities in the classroom. Sometimes even high IQ students get lost and anxious.

Secondly, when a child goes to school, he realizes that his responsibility increases. Now you can't just "leave the game". It has special requirements that must be met. Also in his life there is such a thing as "school mode". And it will also have to be followed. You can't choose which lessons to go to and which not to.

Allow him to invite classmates to visit. This will help the child not to lose position in society, and thus he will not be deprived of communication with peers. In addition, children can help your child keep up with learning new material. Studying in a team is a great way to learn a new topic.

Remember that you can always support your child by offering your services to the school. For example, by becoming a member of a parent committee or by participating with a class on a camping trip that is scheduled for the weekend. The presence of the mother will cheer up the baby, and he will behave more freely.

As a last resort, you can always talk to the class teacher and talk about the problem of fear of school. The teacher will listen and help. If you act together with the teacher, the adaptation of the child will be easier and faster.

Even during the holidays, I am afraid of the thought that at school the teacher will yell or give a bad mark. I try to think less about the first of September, but every day I'm more and more afraid. Usually, when I get a deuce, I always get sad, only about it I think about the rest of the day. How to gain confidence and not be afraid to go to school?

Veronica, 12 years old

Don't forget that a bad grade can be corrected. The next time you will be able to show a higher result, if you prepare, learn what there were gaps in before. Sometimes grades are just what you need to see what you have learned and what you still need to work on. A bad grade doesn't make you worse. It's not a stigma, it doesn't define what kind of person you are. We don't always get good grades in all subjects. Each has its own strengths and weaknesses, some items go better, others worse.

The only thing that a bad rating says is the need to work through the missed material. Don't stop talking to your friends, don't shut up, ask for help if you need it. Feel free to clarify what is not clear with teachers and those who understand the subject well. There is no shame in learning and asking questions. Try not just to forget about a bad assessment, but make sure that it helps you in the future.

When explaining the material, the teacher should not yell at you. If he often raises his voice and therefore you are afraid to go to school, tell your parents. You can contact the school psychologist.

During the summer holidays, we always wean from the usual rhythm, and we don’t want to go back to school. But this feeling usually passes quickly - after all, not only test papers are waiting for you at school, but also friends whom you did not see in the summer.

When the children are 6-7 years old, it's time to go to the first grade. But what if the child is afraid of school? The fear of being left without the support of mom and dad in an unfamiliar place and with strangers is quite understandable. If persuasion does not work, parents begin to feel anxious. No need to despair - the advice of a psychologist will come to the rescue.

Why does school phobia occur?

There are several reasons why a child is afraid to go to school. New life may frighten him; The baby is accustomed to being close to loved ones. At the same time, shy children or those who have not attended kindergarten may have difficulty communicating. This also leads to the development of a phobia.

Classmates and teachers are strangers with whom you need to make friends. And what if the first grader fails to find a common language with one of them? This is frightening and makes even adults who have got a new job nervous. If this is the main reason that the child is afraid to go to school, the advice of a psychologist will help solve this situation.

A bad impression of an educational institution in a child can also develop as a result of rash statements by parents about the negative experience of studying and the severity of disciplines. Stories like this can give him the impression that school life is incredibly difficult, which means that it is better to try to avoid it. Such a line of behavior can even lead to absenteeism and running away from home.

The reason that the child is afraid to go to school may be increased physical and psycho-emotional stress. Yesterday your son or daughter played with friends and had fun; today they should learn lessons and get good grades. They have special requirements that must be met. Even a first grader with a high IQ can become anxious and lose confidence.

The child is afraid to go to school: what to do?

To deal with the causes associated with a phobia that has arisen in a baby, some helpful tips can help. Forcing and scolding a child is not recommended, because such upbringing will aggravate the situation. In order for your daughter or son to go to school with a smile on their face, start preparing them for adulthood in advance. May the first academic year bring them joy and fun. Talk about the benefits of studying, the opportunity to make new friends, learn interesting things.

So, if a child is afraid to go to school, what should parents do? Consider the recommendations of psychologists:

If your son or daughter has been afraid to go to classes for the second or third year, you should talk to the teachers. Perhaps someone from their peers or high school students offends them, the teacher is biased. Any deviations from the norm that you notice should not be ignored. If you could not cope with the situation on your own, contact a psychologist.

Where can I book a consultation with a psychologist?

Is your child afraid of school? What to do in this situation and where to turn? The most correct thing to do would be to visit the psychological center "Insight". He will develop a separate course of classes, consultations or psychological training for your baby, which will forever help get rid of this phobia. Call!