How to be calm in stressful situations. How to keep calm in any situation - effective methods and methods

On the planet - Buddhist who believes in Karma. He never fuss, and when the surrounding begin to turn it out to be frankly, simply refers to popcorn and preparing for viewing the plenty thriller called "How to reject your life." We are not Buddhists, and it is difficult for us to achieve such a level of composure. But learn to keep calm for everyone.

Mad rhythm

A person now lives in such an insane rhythm that only retaining calm can make the right decisions. According to the latest statistical data, every year the number of people who are in a state of stress increase. Study, work, domestic, financial and family problems - all this adversely affects the nervous system. At some specified moment, a person is simply breaking due to fatigue and accumulated problems.

So how to learn to keep calm? First you need to understand what it means to be truly calm. Not indifferent and not contemptuous, namely calm.

Under the ability to keep calm understand the ability to be imperturbable in any established situation. A calm person never loses patience and optimism, even in cases where we (permanently fussing) seems to be controlled by what is happening is impossible.

Due to the overaffect of stress and constant nervousness, a person can even feel physical indisposition, so everyone will be useful to master the techniques of conservation of calm.

Problem control and suppression

Frequently often people face the problem of misunderstanding the difference between the suppression of emotions and control. This is not the same thing. Usually, the emotions of a person begins to suppress already after they searched with his body. That is, they are simply not shown, but hide somewhere in the depths of themselves from the outside environment. In this case, negative energy does not go anywhere, but poisoning the body, causing various diseases.

Control over emotions is another. A person learns not to fall under the power of stress, to resist him and does not allow even the slightest fluctuate to drive himself into the corner. The impact of negative emotions is something resembles a snowball: it is only for a moment to relax how they will light you with your head.

Therefore, the ability to keep calm in any situation will be as if it is impossible, if it is necessary to improve your life in all aspects. Surely, each of us noticed that if you feel the excitement in front of an important event, then everything starts literally to fall out of the hands, and the person is annoyed for any occasion. This negative is capable of quickly as a result - a person will be extremely difficult to act and make faithful solutions.

Therefore, to build a successful and happy life, you need to know how to keep calm in any situation. Of course, you will first have to make efforts to train stress resistance, but then the effort will become a habit.

Express methods

Those who stress will be worn by surprise, express methods that will restore mental equilibrium will help preserve calm. If you feel that you start taking stress and irritation, doing some kind of business, take a pause and distracted by something outsider. This will help restore equilibrium. Otherwise, the voltage will increase, and with it the probability of the occurrence of the nervous breakdown will increase.

Also, it is not worth sharing your experiences with friends or relatives. First you need to understand the situation on your own by analyzing the possible causes of stress. For ourselves, it is necessary to note all the manifestations of nervousness that manifest themselves at the body level. For example, a man blushes, he is beginning to tremble fingers or a heart rhythm is studied. Noting these features, a person in the future will be able to understand how tense him is, and take himself in hand.

Breathing, landscape, adoption

So how to keep calm in stressful situations? It is important to be able to concentrate on the breath. When the body is in a state of stress, adrenaline is actively developing, this process disrupts the rhythm of breathing. To establish it again, you need to use respiratory techniques. The simplest one is three deep breaths and exhalations. This exercise can be performed both during the stress period and in a relaxed atmosphere to relax.

Helps to restore the stress resistance of fresh air, because the saturation of the brain with oxygen helps calm down. Also control the emotions helps their acceptance and understanding. If a person feels tension, he should voiced his feelings, formulate and recognize negative emotions. For example, to say "I am in rabies" or "anxiously".

Imperidity, visualization, idol

So far, stress is in a state of "embryo", it must be taken under control - this is the first rule of stress resistance. How to keep calm? Do not allow the situations to turn to large-scale sizes. Some people are distinguished by special imperisions, they should not be blown up to the fly before the size of the elephant and suffer from it. Therefore, as soon as we feel tension, you need to immediately define its source and, if possible, get rid of it.

Also resume calm will help receiving visualization. For example, you can imagine that package the problem and the entire negative in the box and throw it into the sea. True, such a reception is suitable only to people with a good imagination.

You can still remember some character or a real person who can be called the incarnation of calmness, and try to imagine how he entered a similar situation.

First of all, it is worth applying an objective analysis of the situation. It is necessary to look at the situation from the side, as if she concerns some other person. After having ceased to be emotionally involved in the events, we are able to take sound and reasonable solutions. If emotions are too excavated, you need to talk to someone about what is happening. A stranger will be easier to take a look at the current circumstances calmly and see the right way out.

Food

Training stress resistance and keep calm in any situations, oddly enough, helps healthy food. It has long been proven that the food affects not only on the body, but also for the mood. It is mistaken to assume that they will help calm coffee, cigarette or large doses of flour and sweet. On the contrary, coffee (like any other drink containing caffeine) will make a person even more irritable. Sugar is a source of glucose, and she, in turn, is responsible for vigor and energy. Therefore, by going in huge quantities of sweets during the stress period, the person becomes more excited, impulsive and loses the ability to sensible. With stress, it is useful to eat black chocolate and vitamin C products, as they reduce the level of cortisol. If, in neurosis, a person literally can not not eat, it can use the cheek without a sugar content.

Work

The third recommendation is not necessary to avoid physical labor. "Disconnect" from problems will help a walk, active leisure, etc. It is not so important that it is a person who will do, the main thing is that he released the accumulated energy, and not sitting locked up alone with his thoughts.

Physical exertion helps the body to produce endorphins - hormones of happiness, and they, like nothing, help to cope with stressful situations.

Humor, forgiveness, oblivion

Sometimes a person may face the situation in which he will feel his guilt and experience because of this. To keep calm, you need to realize all the severity of your mistake and ... forgive yourself for her. There is no man who does not make mistakes, thanks to them we can accumulate life experience. Did they do wrong? Give yourself a chance to fix it. It is worth watching every situation from the positive side, because everything that is done is for the better.

We increase stress resistance, or how to keep calm and efficiency: advice for all

Perhaps someone noticed that confident people with high self-esteem worried about trifles. They know that they can cope with the situation. If a person satisfied with himself and he feels calm, regardless of what is happening around.

To develop confidence in yourself, first of all you need to take your appearance. A person should like himself as he is, so he needs to look more often in the mirror and hang off the compliments.

No need to forget about your achievements, situations when it turned out to successfully cope with difficulties, etc. It is important to find time for the work of your favorite thing and never lose a good mood. The more positively the person is configured, the less he is subject to stress. Therefore, it is worth stockwork of life-affirming phrases and repeat them every day.

Even if everything is boiling inside, you need to at least externally express calm, it will help to return an internal equilibrium.

In this article, I will talk about how to stop nervous. I will explain how to maintain calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will speak not only about how to suppress the states of nervousness and calm down, but I will explain how you can stop nervous in general, bring the body into such a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and better read them in order.

When are we nervous?

Nervousness and mandrage, this is a sense of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological loads and stress, in problem life situations, and just worry about all sorts of trifles. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so I. physiological Causes and manifest accordingly. It is physiologically related to the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experiences, reassessment of the significance of certain events, a sense of uncertainty in itself and what is happening, shy, excitement for the result.

We begin to be nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our life, or for one reason or another significant responsible. I think that a threat to life, not so often looms in front of us, by the streets. Therefore, I consider the situation of the second kind in everyday life for nervousness in everyday life. Fear fail, look in an inappropriate manner in front of people - All this makes us nervous. With regard to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has a little attitude of our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start to realize the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Need a protective mechanism or interference?

We begin to sweat the palms, the tremor can be observed, the increase in heartbeat, increase the pressure in the thoughts confusion, it is difficult to get together, focus, it's hard to sit on the spot, I want to take some things, smoking. These are the symptoms of nervousness. And now ask yourself, they keep you out hard? Do they help to cope with stressful situations? Do you better get negotiations, take an exam or communicate on the first date when you are on a platoon? The answer is, of course not, and moreover, it can devour the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand yourself that the tendency is nervous - is not a natural body reaction to the stressful situation. Or some kind of an inexpensive feature of your personality. It is rather a simple mental mechanism fixed in the habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and whatever happens, you can always respond to it differently! I assure you that the effect of stress can be minimized and the nervousness is eliminated. But why eliminate it? And because when you are nervous:

• You have thinners and it is harder to focus that it may aggravate the situation that requires the utmost voltage of mental resources.
• You are worse controlling your intonation, facial expressions, gesture, which may not affect responsible negotiations or dates
• Nervousness contributes to a more rapid accumulation of fatigue and stress, which badly affects your health and well-being
• If often nervous, it can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from the problems of the nervous system)
• You worry on trifles and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
• You are susceptible to harmful habits:, alcohol, as you need to shoot something tension

Remember all those situations where you are very nervous and and it has been negatively reflected on the results of your actions. Surely all many examples of how you have broken, not withstanding psychological pressure, lost control and deprived. So we will work with you.

Here is the first lesson during which we have understood that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only interferes
• From it you can get rid of work on yourself
• In everyday life, there are few valid reasons to be nervous, since we or our close is rarely threatened, mostly worry because of trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell why it is.

You must configure yourself as follows:

I do not have something to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and is real!

Do not think that I'm just so reasoning what I myself have no idea. I am all my childhood, and then youth, under 24 years old experienced big. I could not take myself in my hands in stressful situations, worried about any little things, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively reflected on health: the pressure jumps, "panic attacks", dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this in the past.

Of course, it is impossible to say that I have the best composure in the world, but still, I stopped nervous in those situations that most people turn in nervousness, I became much calmer, compared with my previous state, I went out on a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot about working, but I'm on the right track and there is a speaker and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything about what I am talking to is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and the narration only about what helped me. So if I did not have such a painful, wounded and sensitive young man and, then, as a result, personal problems would not start to redo themselves - all this experience and the site that he summarizes and structures would not be.

By the way subscribe to my instagram The link below. Regular useful posts about self-development, meditation, psychology and relief of anxiety and panic attacks.

Lesson 2. How to stop nervous for anyone?

Remember all those events that turn you into nervousness: causes the boss, pass the exam, expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, appreciate their importance for you, but not apart, and within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the meaning in public transport or on the road across the whole life, and is it terribly late to work and nervous about it?

Is this what you need to think about and what to worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, distracted from the current moment. I am confident that with such an angle, many things because of which you are nervous will immediately lose your significance in your eyes, turns into a sowing trifles, which they are certainly and, therefore, will not cost your experiences.

Such psychological setting is very helpful stop nervous for anyone. But no matter how well we configured themselves, although it will certainly have a positive effect, but still it will be not enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can respond in its own way. Therefore, move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorable at us, during which our intelligence, collens and will will be inspected, and if we successfully pass this test, the fate of us will generously reward, otherwise we will lose. This event may be a final job interview about which you dream, important negotiations, a date, exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and you need to do it so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and seek it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but there would be no significant outcome of it, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of all life: you don't need to dramatize everything and overestimate. Just the same of the importance of this event and makes the need to be calm and not worry. This is too responsible event to allow nervousness to blame it, so I will assemble and focuses and do everything for this!

Now we give thoughts into calm, removing the mandal. First, immediately throw out all the thoughts about the failure of the head. In general, try to learn the bustle and nothing to think about. Release your head from thoughts, relax the body deeply exhale and breathe. To relax, the most infallional breathing exercises will help.

Simple breathing exercises.

It must be done like this:

• inhale on 4 bills (or 4 pulse strikes, it must be addressed, it is necessary to make it more comfortable on the neck, and not on the wrist)
• keep air in yourself 2 bills / strike
• exhale 4 bills / strike
• do not breathe 2 bills / impacts and then inhale again in 4 bills / strikes - all from the beginning

In short, as a doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds Inhale - 2 seconds Delay - 4 seconds Exhalation - 2 seconds Delay.

If you feel that breathing allows you to make deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds and 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Just breathing you need a diaphragm, that is, the stomach!During stress, we are rapidly breathing, while the diaphragmal breath soothes the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, introducing you to calm.

During the exercise, we only keep your breath! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then for minutes after 3 you will feel that they relaxed and calmed down. Exercise is made no more than 5-7 minutes, feelings. With regular classes, respiratory practice contributes not only to you relax here and now, but also in general gives the nervous system in order And you are less nervous already without any exercises. So I strongly recommend.

My video about how to make a diaphragmal breathing correctly, you can see at the end of this article. In the form, I tell about how with the help of breathing to cope with panic. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and take yourself in hand.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Well here we prepared. But the time is the time of the event. Then I will talk about how to behave during the event, not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How can not be nervous during an important meeting.

Picture calm: Even if neither an emotional attitude, no breathing exercises helped you withdraw tension, then at least try to demonstrate external calm and non-vulnerable. And it is necessary not only to introduce your opponents of misleading about your condition at the moment. The expression of the external rest helps to reach the rest of the inner. This is valid according to the principle of feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but the facial expressions determines well-being. This principle is easy to check: when you smile to someone you get better and more fun, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my fiction, it is really a fact, it is even written in Wikipedia in the article "Emotions". So the calmer you want to seem the more relaxed you become really.

Follow the fair, gestures and intonation: The principle of feedback obliges you to constantly turn out inwards and make aware of how you look from. Are you too tense? Do you do not run your eyes? Movement is smooth and measured or cutting and impulsive? What does your face expresses cold impermeability or all your excitement can be read on it? In accordance with the information received from the senses of senses about themselves, you correct all your television traffic, the voice, the expression of the face. What you have to follow yourself already in itself helps you gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. Watching you, you focus the thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them be knocked up and take you off the wrong way. So concentration and calm is achieved.

Eliminate all the markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when nervous? Take a ball handle in your hands? Came a pencil? Tie into a node thumb and my little finger left? Now forget about it, keep your hands smoothly, does not change their positions often. Do not eat on a chair, do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to follow yourself.

Do not rush: Hurry, bustle always sets a special nerve tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any hurry very quickly knocks off the collaboration and calm attitude. You begin to rush nervously from one to another, as a result, we only provoke the excitement. No matter how hurrying you, do not hurry, it's not so scary, it is better to overtake your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, we are going in transport, make a job. This is an illusion that when you hurry you reach the result faster. Yes, the speed increases, but slightly, but you are very losing in the collaboration and concentration.

That's all right. All these principles complement each other and can be generalized in the appeal. " watch out". The rest of particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I advise only to think over each of your phrase, do not hurry with the answer, carefully weigh everything and analyze. You do not need to try to impress all the available ways, you are it so you work if you do everything right and you will not worry, work on the quality of your speech. No need to mumble and rub it if you were caught by surprise: quietly swallowed, forgotten and go further.

Lesson 5. Soothen after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on the platoon and still feel tension. It is better to take it off and think about something else. Here all the same principles that helped you take yourself in hand in front of the meeting itself. Try a lot not to reflect on the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, and if I spoke so much and not, oh, and how I probably looked stupid there, I was a bald, but if ...! Just throw out all thoughts from my head. Get rid of the subjunctive ignition (if), everything has passed, bring your breath in order and relax the body. That's all with this lesson.

Lesson 6. Do not generally create reasons for nervousness.

This is a very important lesson. Usually weighing nervous factor is the inconsistency of your preparation to the upcoming event. When you all know, confident about what you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, it was completely not prepared for the exams at all, I hoped that he would carry and somehow pass. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of teachers. Often walked on relocation. As a result, during the session, such an unprecedented psychological pressure was experiencing such a day every day due to the fact that he was trying to prepare and hand out somehow an exam.

During the sessions, an unreal amount of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still regret myself, I thought that how much did it fell, how hard, eh ... although I had the blame for everything, if I did everything in advance (I was not obliged to go to the lecture, but at least a material for exam preparation and surrender I could provide all intermediate control tests - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), I would not have had to be so nervous during exams and worry about the result and for the fact that I was taken to the army if I Something I will not pass, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and learn at institutes, I'm talking about what you need to try yourself do not create stress factors in the future! Think on and prepare for business and important meetings, to do everything on time and not to delay at the last moment! Having always a ready-made plan in my head, and better somewhat! It will keep you a significant part of nerve cells, and in general contributes to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop nervous on trifles

In order to stop nervous not enough to follow the lessons that I set out above. You also need to bring the body and mind to the rest state. And the next thing I will tell will be the rules that you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop nervous on trifles. These methods are focused on the long-term result they will make you less susceptible stress at all, and not only prepare for a responsible event.

• Firstly, to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to the state of rest, you need regularly. This very well contributes to the reassurance of the nervous system and reassuring the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I will not stop on it.
• Secondly, engage in sports () and carry out a complex supporting measures (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). In a healthy body, a healthy mind: Your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time in the air, try to sit less in front of the computer.
Diaphragm Breathing with Panic Attack

Perhaps it is worth tying with stress, what do you think? Too many of them. Let's try learning how to keep calm in all situations that objectively require this?

Tip №1: Praise yourself more often

It is necessary to praise yourself well, otherwise it will only hurt. But it is not worth scolding yourself at all, especially as it makes most of the people insecure. Leave the punishment until the worst times! And until then (and it may never come) - praise yourself for every little thing if you consider her worthy incentive.

Tip # 2: Try not to pay attention to someone else's anger

Do not take other people's negative emotions. Do you not sufficiently? If someone annoges at you, is angry, then do not take it close to your heart, even if anger is justified for you. No day all day "chew" memories of an unpleasant conversation - just leave these thoughts alone and live further, trying to prevent conflict situations. This is quite easy!

Tip # 3: Do not prove your right thing if it is not necessary

Do not stand with foam at the mouth to prove to his interlocutor, that you are right, and he is not. Of course, if the conversation is not constructive and you yourself understand the infertility of your dispute. Let everyone remain with her opinion. In parallel with the opinion, your nerves and good mood will remain with you.

Before annoying someone, try to understand this person. Yes, for this you need to take a brief pause and make yourself think, but the result is worth it! This simply rule will allow you to avoid many conflict situations and excess nervous overvoltage.

Think out possible options for developing events in a particular situation and make a scenario of your actions. Of course, all alternatives you will not be able to consider, but with due diligence, this method can significantly help you adhere to the desired strategy in life. Think out conversations with different people, your answers to comments, criticism, praise from other people. Make your reactions beautiful, most pleasant to you.

The more positive will your initial attitude towards one or another person, the less likely to occur conflict and, accordingly, anger or irritation on your part. In this world, everything is not so bad to a priori to be configured against everyone!

Believe me, no one, even the closest your people do not have to understand you with a half-clow and, moreover, telepathically. If you are annoyed because of such things (maybe you just noticed it now, right?), Then you just need to formulate your thoughts that you want to convey to the listener. Understanding will be an order of magnitude more, and unnecessary and unreasonable irritation is an order of magnitude less.

Try, this advice may be more than useful!

Tip №8: Find a person who will support you

No, we do not offer you to use someone as a "comforter". Here we need quite another! We need a person who, firstly, will support your desire to change, become calmer, to respond more soberly to what is happening, and which; Secondly, it will be able to help you rationalize one or another event that caused you stress. It will not cause special difficulties from one of your friends, but it will help you.

... Everything can work out exactly as you planned, but there will be no ideal life anyway. Excessive idealization leads to disorders, and it is absolutely obvious and logical. Make your goals real, and you will receive from their achievement much more pleasure than from a fruitless desire for unattainable.

No, it does not mean that you need to stop dreaming. Dreams do not touch what we are talking about. It is about the goals that you put in front of yourself: today or for life, it does not matter. It is not that they should not be customized for an impeccable image, thereby giving them the day of their accomplishment.

The main essence of this Council is not at all to "teach you to live" and just tell about how it is useful to recognize your own mistakes. Everything is much prosaic! If you understand the rational part of your consciousness, you made a mistake, but emotionally you can not accept it, it gives it to you, prevents you from living freely, irritation causes you. Anger on themselves you can project themselves on others ... What calm can we talk about?

That is why, follow this pathos advice - recognize your mistakes.

The main essence of this planning is preliminary "playback" of various life situations. At the same time, you ask them your own order, "program" yourself at him. By the way, this advice is useful not only for the ability to keep calm, but also for organizing your own day.

Tip №12: Return to the past with new thoughts

Sometimes some episodes from their lives can be re-played. We are talking about those moments that in the past were stressful for you, caused a unpleasant reaction to you, or you have reacted in those situations not as you would like.

Return to the right moment and come up with events, they take place now. Imagine how you, for example, calmly and witness at someone's attack, without losing our own dignity, or find yourself in the center of attention of the admiring company after an acute and ulcer's joke response to the comment treasurers. It's not just nice, but also will benefit!

You must surround people who do not have problems with control over emotions (in any case, problems like yours). No, no, in no case you do not need to fully change the circle of your communication. Although, you were not going to do this, right? You need somewhat different: among people with whom you are constantly communicating, there must be calm people with "unshakable" confidence in themselves and able to convey this confidence to you.

Try to give all your emotions to the assessment of their relevance and adequacy. Have you noticed that you are annoyed for something annoyed? What do you think this is exactly what you need?

Tip №15: Do not react to attacks right away, being irritated

Always let yourself a small pause from the instance of the irritant to your reaction to it. If you formulate it easier, then think first, and then say. So you can avoid good half of all stress associated with communication.

Tip №16: Breathe deeply, right and timely

Only 10 seconds of deep breathing allow a person to completely calm down if its stress is caused by an excessive, unnecessary reaction. Again, you just need a pause until you react to something. If you feel that you are starting to get angry and lose patience, stop and start breathing calmly. You calm down, and the brain is saturated with oxygen, which will allow you to soberly assess the situation.

Tip №17: Find the truth in criticism to your address

... or, at least, try to do it. Not far from the fact, of course, that you will find this truth there, but in our case it is better to be restred and not to perceive any criticism at once as an attempt to insult you. It is possible that the criticism of your address is constructive and will only benefit you.

Tip №18: Look for something positive in all what is happening

This advice is especially good for those who are just begins to learn calmness (yes, tranquility need to learn, and this is what we are doing now!) And can not yet make yourself react with the delay and strictly control your own feelings. The charm of this method is that it is possible to implement it and you can after the events you are interested in, at any time. All you need is to rethink that happened in a new key and try to find positive parties in it. So you found the desired advantages ... But can something good to annoy us?

... Listen to the audiobooks, watch movies. The main thing is that they soothe you, tuned to a positive way, were taught to see something pleasant in life and helped to cope with the unknown from where the gorgeous anger or irritation.

Tip №20: Remember that you can not and should not like everyone

What you can't like everyone is understandable, so it is worth focusing at the second moment: you should not like everyone! Moreover, no one does not require this from you. Disappointing someone, you disappoint yourself. And why do you want? Why should you experience frankly unpleasant emotions only because they did not meet anyone's idealized expectations?

You need to learn to be sometimes a third-party observer. First, it is interesting. Secondly, it will help you better understand people, will give you a time to think about your own reaction, make it possible to correctly assess the situation.

This is one of the most complex, but most effective ways to become more calm and get rid of unpleasant emotions. The technician meditation is a huge set, and some of them will not master it so problematic as it may seem at first glance. In any case, you should look for the necessary information and try. It will not be worse, in you can, in response to your efforts, to get the ability to control your emotions and the mood as you wish yourself.

Tip №23: Treat your troubles like training

Universal calm recipe. Yes, it is quite difficult to work out this attitude towards life, but it does not mean that it is not necessary to try.

On the contrary! This, along with meditations, the most successful and effective way to cope with stress and keep calm in any situation.
There is no single technique, how to learn to treat troubles in this way, so we provide you with the opportunity to find our way.

Moreover, the effect with this situation will absolutely prove to be the best.

The article has prepared a practitioner neuropathologist Aganseva Daria Pavlovna

Among the most common reasons for family scandals, psychologists have identified treason, disagreements in raising children and relations with relatives and friends.

If the couple decided to settle conflict on their own, then experts recommend learn how to calmly argue their point of view and try not to lose close contact with the partner. It is in distance from each other and the too emotional scenes of clarifying relationships lies the reason for the collapse of the Union of two loving people.

The average pair is trying to resort as much as possible to help professional psychologists. After all, for the majority, the fact of appeal to the specialist already testifies to the end of the relationship.

Do we react to insult and swearing? At any work, misunderstandings with colleagues, conflict situations with leadership are possible. Not to mention the sphere of life, which is stressful with stressful situations. Is it possible to preserve peace of mind in conflict? Psychologists say that you can, if applied aSSERTIVITY.

Assheritive man is psychologically stable and independent of someone else's opinion

Instructions: How to keep calm during a quarrel or conflict

• The eastern wise men, famous for their measured attitude towards life, advise at the time of conflict, do not compress the instinctively fists, but on the contrary, straighten your fingers. This simple movement helps with the outflow of blood from the head and makes it possible to instantly cool and evaluate the situation calmly, as if.
• If you deliberately provoke to conflict - do not give in. To begin with, do not watch the interlocutor in the eyes, tear with him the visual contact, through which he could manipulate you on the subconscious level. In no case, do not raise the voice: on the contrary, if they are yelling, answer intentionally quietly, but clearly. It knocks down the enemy to sense, makes it get to listen to what you are talking about.
• In cases where you go to a meeting or an event, where it will be difficult to keep calm (it can be a party with your former, or corporate party with competitors), bother about your mood in advance. In critical cases, you can drink sedative, just do not cease with the dose, so as not to test the drowsiness. But it is best to just remind yourself the basic rules of calm: uniform breathing, a smile on the face.

What do they understand under arrangement?

The English word "Assert" means - to argue. From this word, the psychological concept of "assertivity" occurred - such an internal state, in which a person has its own, independent opinion, but it is independent of external pressure, from external assessments. There are three response scales to conflict, negative events: aggressiveness - associatedness - passivity. Moreover, the association is in the middle, as the most correct and calm condition.

Faced with the negative, the person most often has two main reactions: aggressiveness - to reply abrestrive on the swearing, malice on the malice, as a result - conflict, spoiled mood, shabby nerves, bad relationships, in extreme cases - there are also the worst consequences. The second version of the response: passivity - when a person runs away from a dangerous conflict. This may be expressed in passive silence, inaction, care from the room where the conflict flashes, avoiding negative situations or a person negative for you. This option is non-aggressive, but it brings spiritual emptying, discontent with himself, humiliation.

But there is a third version of the response to the negative - associate. Different wise men of antiquity always adhered to this particular "golden middle", the most correct option of responding to conflict situations.

Assheritive state - It is an autonomous state, the ability to have an opinion, and, not aggressive, in need of defending, like a fighter cock, but a calm, analytical assessment of events or people. Being in an associate state, it is difficult to put pressure on a person, it is difficult to manipulate it. Such a person is internally, psychologically sustainable, it is independent of other people's assessments, from an outsider opinion, from the standard framework.

Asserity is somewhat excited - it allows you to look at the negative situation from the side, and, not indifferent or cold, and as if you look at the stage from the theater hall, but at the same time you are not just a viewer, but an arbitrator who should bear your opinion about the created Situations, their decision, give an internal assessment of what is happening. But the internal assessment of what is happening is important not to impose another, do not dictate his will and not to prove its opinion as the only right one.

Assheritive qualities of personality

It is important to work out assheritive skill:

Quickly understand the negative situation;

Analyze it;

To work out its own position regarding her and all participants - why arose who was the instigator, what are the true and external causes of its occurrence, which consequences may be and what can be taken in such a situation;

Do not disrupt other people's psychological borders - do not attack, do not insult, do not scold;

To be able to protect your own psychological borders - to keep calm and equilibrium, not to perceive insults to your account, not to be offended, do not let someone else deep in your soul.

Confucius said: "No one can be humiliated until he feels humiliated". Russian folk wisdom says: "On offended water be treated". This is a stereotypical thinking of the last century - that it is necessary to respond to an insult to an insult, a blow to blow, and that if you do not answer, then you are a coward, and you can not "allow you to wipe your feet", etc. The feeling of self-esteem is not an aggressive response, but in a calm, wise and suspended reaction to any negative. In the monkeys in the herd, the true leader is just not the one that behaves the most defining and more yells and goes away, and the one who sits a little bit away, somewhat removed, he is the most calm, and all conflicts decide precisely.

Application of assertivity

"When the stick is thrown, the lion looks at the one who threw a stick, and the dog is on the stick itself. In this, there is a huge difference between them." So the association is dismantling in conflict, look at the one who threw a stick and react to this right. Assurance can help in the following directions:

Resolution of any conflict situations, both in the work environment and in household or home;

Sort out their internal disagreements;

Learn to perform the most different, even unpleasant work, overcome the cealot - without stress and panic;

Increase your professionalism at work;

The ability to establish and maintain relationships with different customers;

Do not lose the aggressive customer;

Develop self-esteem.

Consider some practical experts of association. It should be borne in mind that people are often vengeful, even in trifles. Sometimes it is manifested in a very deep subconscious level. How can this be overcome? Paradoxical response: positive on the negative. For example, in the office you have to go to your employee and, showing it a poorly performed work - ask to remake it. The reaction of the employee can be:

1) aggressive - indignation "I did everything well," "Come on me", "rework";

2) Passive - dismissive throwing folders on the table, "Well, then I will do", detached silence.

In any case, you will hear non-locking remarks to your address: if you are on equal and colleagues - then right in your face, if you are a manager, then for your back. Rarely who will show the right reaction and will calmly asks: "What exactly needs to be removed? What mistakes I did?" And then say: "Well, I'll redo."

What can you do by showing association? First you understand why this employee did so badly work: tired, sick, he doesn't have something in order at home, he is not compretable, he was tired of his work, it's time for vacation, etc. From what answer you succeed, your reaction depends. But in any case, you can show anything positive and unexpected. For example: "I understand that you are all tired and you are tired, I also have such a mood, but it will be better if we are trying to redirect work," thanks to thank the employee, you know what you like "horror" , and your report was from this series ", etc. Unexpected, and even with a sense of humor, the answer may neutralize the vitality. It can help and attracting to work together, to a joint discussion: "Let's see how to fix this situation", "first it is calm down, drink coffee, and then think about what you can do", etc.

In any case, it is important to show calm, understanding and tolerance. Especially, this applies to particularly aggressive situations in which emotions are raging through the edge and the arguments of the mind are powerless until the person calms down. There are trainings, various techniques that can be learned. But the most important thing is internal position, thoughtful and developed, which will preserve balance in any life situation and not destroy the psychological borders of other people.

Keep calm in stressful situations

You can withdraw anything: like serious problems, and even the most minor little things. There is nothing wrong with to give free emotions, but in some cases it is still better to refrain and calm down. Especially if the emotions are negative.

There are some simple ways to help you quickly take yourself in your hands and calm down.

1. Sit down, relax, restore breathing. Close your eyes and for 30 seconds imagine cool water white water, which, like a waterfall, fell on the top and slowly runs off the heads to the tips of the toes. Then imagine how all the water slowly flows into the floor to the funnel. Imagine everything in detail. Then take a deep breath and open your eyes.

2. Moch of hand with cool water and touch the neck (first with one hand, then two). Soft, circular movements, for 30 seconds, rubbish neck and shoulders, gradually increasing the power of pressing the fingers. Then, within 30 seconds, reduce the power of pressing to light touch. Then a rinse on the neck of cool water.

3. Take a tight tissue towel. Cleared him in his hands and twisted with all his might, as if squeezing. Scytter teeth, firmly lit eyes and most of the muscles of the body as much as possible (especially in the neck and hand area). After 25-30 seconds, sharply dropped the towel to the floor and relax the muscles.

Using these simple exercises, you can quickly come to yourself and calm down both in front of an important event and after an unpleasant quarrel. The main thing is to remember that there are very few things in the world that are really worth the nerves spent.

People who are satisfied with everyone in their lives can be safely called happy. After all, they are not known what stress is. They simply do not experience overvoltages and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in stressful state becomes an evil, irritable and start, as it is called, with half-turn. Sooner or later he annoyed it. And he set as a question - how to be calm in any situation and is it real? Well, everything is possible in our lives. And this is not an exception.

Stress reduction

Each person interested in how to be calm in any situation, needs to be remembered - nothing will happen to a minimum of emotional voltage. First you need to start well and eat on time. And the morning to start with something delicious and beloved - this will help raise the mood. Like a 10-minute charging, which will also lead into the body tone.

If a person faces a stress factor at work, he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about the house, your loved one, cake, cats, about anything. It is still necessary to get used to daily water procedures. To the bath, soul, pool. Water soothes nerves.

And in general, if a person thought about how to be calm in any situation means, it's time to change something in his life. Maybe she became a horror of monotonous? Then it will not prevent a new hobby or hobby into it. The main thing is that it gives pleasure. Joyful satisfied person just do not want to annoy.

Self Control

Usually the question relating to how to be calm in any situation, people constantly are asked in a stressful environment. For example, at work, every day gives the boss or colleagues annoyed by his word. Output one - self-control.

The effective method is respiratory practice. Namely, the technique of square. As soon as a person feel the attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing the left nozzles, then right, after which - belly and breasts. So it turns out not only to calm the heart rhythm, but also to distract.

And you can just delay your breath and release it after half a minute. So it is possible to minimize the activity of the brain.

Methods of psychology

How in any situation, if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If such is a close friend or relative, then he has been done - a visual example is already. Need to reflect - what would he do? It usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the state.

By the way, many advise to draw up a list of so-called personal stimuli. The enemy needs to know in the face. And after drawing up the list, you can come up with ways, with which it will actually cope with the stimulus. The next time a person will face a source of stress, he confidently can withstand in advance with the resulting method. It will be a small victory, from which the mood is guaranteed to improve.

Motivation

Miscellaneous cases that are forced to think about how to stay calm in any situation. Most often, people are broken down due to failures. Something does not work, and it takes out of themselves. I want to quit everything, wash your hands and close from everyone in your shelter. But this is not a way out. Well, the motivation will help.

In a situation that already "on the verge" is extremely important to support himself. Words - a powerful thing. It is worth inspiring - life worsens before getting better. And that even after the dark night always comes dawn.

In general, it will not be superfluous to read the collection of motivating quotes. The most important thing will be done in memory. So, for example, Stuart Macrobert, a famous publicist and the author of work on force training, said: "You will have failures, injuries and errors. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and life do not interfere with you. But your internal complex should constantly show only one direction - to the goal. " Stewart applied to athletes and bodybuilders who wish to achieve victory and titles. But the whole salt of this phrase is that it is possible to apply it in relation to any person and the situation.

Physical reset of energy

Surely, every person interested in how to behave calmly in any situation, noticed changes in its body at the time of irritation. In the head begins to make noise, the pressure jumps so rapidly that even felt the pulsation in the temples, the desire arises to scream or even throw on someone with his fists with the intention of breaking into the shreds.

It is impossible to keep such an energy stock in itself. Help physical unloading. It is possible to sign up in the box of the box, where in the evening you can gladly take over all the anger and aggression on the pear, representing instead of the offender. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss again starts to pour with unfounded remarks, the person automatically remembers how yesterday he retired on a pear, representing the boss in her place. And I will be happy to celebrate myself that today he can do it again. In addition, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, this is a muscle relaxation that removes the voltage accumulating in the body. A well-known phrase is perfect for this case: "Excess energy should be sent to the right direction."

All early or later ends

For this principle, many people live. And he is effective. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this is (it is possible to specify depending on the case) is not forever. The project, with which too many troubles, sooner or later will be dodel and closed. A new job someday may be able to find. Money for separate housing will also be collected. The boss sooner or later get tired of finding the trifles. In general, it is necessary to be easier.

By the way, it can be advised to people who are worried about any important event. For example, before a public speech. True, there are also other ways. To be calm in any situation, even in very responsible, quite real. It is only necessary to put a short-term goal. Get out, come up with speech, to appear in the best light, do everything that was rehearsed. Everything is done - and did it cost the experiences?

Just people are afraid too much. Fear overshadows mind, and it is difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and adjust yourself to the right peaceful way, then everything will turn out.

A change of scenery

There is another advice that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. Practice exist different. And here is one of the most effective consists of changing the situation. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people allow a gross mistake - they return from work home by pulling the cargo from stress, experiences, conflicts and problems. Being in his "fortress", they continue to think about concerns. And do not rest at all. It is necessary to get used to it clearly divide the work and everything else is to rest, house, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise, the vicious circle will never break.

It is worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice that the thought "Well, again, how much that all got it, no peace of rest appears in his head.

Household situations

Above it was mentioned about how to be calm in any situation and not nervous, if it concerns work, life in society and society as a whole. But what about ordinary, "home" cases? If a person is annoyed with relatives and loved ones, breaks down on them, then it is bad. The source is again lies in its external failures associated with work, dissatisfaction with personal life, a lack of money. But intimate is not to blame. In order not to annoy them, you need to understand it. And do not dramatize. If a close person learned how things at work, he did not want to recall the bad head, annoying colleagues and the unloved position. He only showed attention.

And it happens - the person is simply annoying his interlocutor, who, as they say, overtakes stick. Interested in what does not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, trying to convince something, proves the wrongness of the opponent. In this case, a person is not lucky. But the question can be solved simply. It is only necessary to politely deposit the interlocutor or translate a conversation to another direction.

Secret in happiness

Above it was quite a lot of things about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology - science interesting. And specialists in this area can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is - the secret of calm lies in happiness. The person who in his life like everything is always pleased and glad. He is not annoyed by trifles, since it does not care anything - after all, he is fine. Because if there was too much on the shoulders, and it does not give rest, every second reminding itself, it's time to change your life. And you do not need to be afraid to do. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said - there are no limits for us.