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To have loved ones in your life. Knowing that there are friends and relatives who are not involved that will always be able to support in difficult moment, a person has a sense of security and need. But, as often, the most expensive people we are offended more often than others. Where we can restrain at strangers, in the presence of relatives it does not always work. And the question arises: how to ask for forgiveness from close people right?

Singing out: "Forgive me" is very difficult. If you do nothing and leave everything as it is, then the tension in the relationship will grow. Thinking that over time everything will be improperly improperly, because this is an indicator of immaturity. A person who recognizes his mistakes is easier to respect and trust him. But, how to ask for forgiveness from your beloved girl, dad and mom, sister or best friend?

Why apologize is difficult

You can talk long about the benefits to ask for forgiveness. Prepare speech in verse or pour it off it. All this is useless if there is no right setting. The difficulty lies in the following:

• Pride and egoism can be a hindrance to reconciliation. It is pride forcing people to think: "Why am I? He is also wrong. " Everyone is waiting for the first step from the other and, insult can grow into hatred. To break this closed circle, it is necessary to calm down and analyze what you did not as and how can you correct the situation. This will help such quality as humility. Is it now unwise? Yes, there are many people think so, but we are talking about relationships with loved ones. Most opinion should not affect your decisions. Recognize your wrongness is not ashamed, native and friends will appreciate it.
• Education also plays a considerable role. If in childhood you did not hear from the dad and mom's words "Sorry", then it will be with difficulty. Here you need awareness of this fact and work on yourself. Try to "step" at yourself and apologize once, you will feel ease in the soul and in relationships. Next time ask for forgiveness will be easy. Come up with apologies in verses, it will help to smooth the tension.
• Right infusion. How is it necessary. Often people think: "If I ask for forgiveness, then I will give to understand what is to blame and show my weakness." This is an erroneous. Agree, the quarrel is involved at least two. Want to say that they did not speak unnecessary or their icy silence did not demonstrate the disregard? You yourself know that there is also the proportion of your guilt.

What can be done

Before apologizing to consider some moments. Otherwise, you can block the firewood, having the best motivations. To find out the relationship when you are not annoyed. Wait while you both cool. And a few more tips:

• Inventing how to ask for forgiveness from a girl, in verses or prose, it is important to be sincere.

Notes of sarcasm are inappropriate, even if you are confident in your right. Expression of type: "Sorry, I did not think that you don't understand jokes," you can perceive as a mock. If you are sincere, this will tell you your eye and your voice tone. Even if the insult is unreasonable, admit that you could hurt feelings. Sincere apology cleans the wall, which is built by man offended. Destroy this wall and, you will notice that the girl no longer occupies a defensive position, the world is restored.

• You need to take into account different education.

What will seem like a fun joke for another will be an insult. No need to begging for the feelings of another or somehow make fun of them. If in your family, it is headed for each other and no one is offended for this, then this does not mean that for others it is the norm. Do not demand that you adapt and understood your jokes. Over time, it may be, but so far apologize and no longer let go of comic mockery to others.

• The emotional background is also needed to take into account, he has different people.

Afraid in one family, the characters cannot be the same. Someone is more emotional, and someone is not very. You think that you can take a sister's sweater without permission, and it can annoy it. As a result, the scandal. You think the sister started in vain. Listen to her words, and not to the way it was told. Try to understand what she does not like. Understanding will help you come to the right solution. And if you need to ask for forgiveness from the sister, then do not hesitate with it. Understand that it can feel differently, not like you.

Sometimes, just in one word you can hurt a person.So I, at all, not with evil, offended you, and now I just do not find the place for yourself. Please forgive me. I am so sad without you. Do not hold more evil on me. This quarrel has become a big lesson for me.

With you, I breathe
With you, I'm burning nearby,
I live with you next,
And without you I'm dying,
Forgive me, I beg!
Hedgehog is my spiny, stop firing.
Although it will hurt, but I want to hug.
Favorite, life is mistakes, on errors we learn!After all, there is no pain stronger than the one that cause each other lovers. And I got stuck and made a mistake. But, the only person who is not mistaken by the one who never does anything. I do not justify no, I just want you to realize that you are very expensive for me, and all I do not do, then this is just because I'm afraid to lose you!

Fear of losing you, and turned my head and I was mistaken. And I ask you a loved one, do not judge me strictly, but understand. I apologize for the sheer. I love you very much and I will do everything for both your happiness! Forgive me dear.

Learning to establish relationships

Understanding the above principles will help in relations with the best friend. All depends on what makes sense you invest in this concept. If the word "friendship" is a concept of superficial with mercenary motivations, then you should not worry that you offended someone. Your friendship will come to your friendship in any case. And if the friendship is based on attachment, loyalty, mutual execution, then such relationships must be protected.

It is clear that there are no ideal people. From time to time, mutual resentments and claims will be. Do not put a point in your relationship. You can "Sharp" friendship. Most often, people offended not specifically: said, not thinking; He gasped, being in a bad mood; The girlfriend's rights intervened not in their business.

After you understand why the girlfriend was offended, make a conversation to solve the problem and save friendship. Explain that you upset her not with evil. It will not look like you justify, you just made clarity in your motives and motives. You can apologize for the leisure feelings. If the girlfriend is a romantic and emotional nature, try to prevent her request for forgiveness in verse.

I was fabulously lucky in life that fate gave me you.You are my angel, my most beloved girl in the world. I apologize for the fact that you offended you, my sunshine. Sorry, please, me. Difference in relation to you, has become a big lesson for me. Let's make me, my kitten.

I promise to make you the happiest girlfriend in the world, just forgive and believe me, my good. My love will be a guard for you, my only and desired.

Every day lived without you, it's just an unbearable test. I think every minute about you, my joy. Forgive me, please, for offended you. After all, it was not with evil. I love you more than life. Do not be offended by more on me.

Let's save our love, because we are so good to be together. Favorite, I breathe you. I need you like air.

But this is a haze.
It happens with everyone.
You sorry, please, me,
So love only once!
You are sorry for unnecessary wordsAnd for the acts stupid my. Believe that my repentance does not have a limit! I want to look into your eyes again ... I apologize!

The same principles apply if the discord occurred between two buddies. If a friend or girlfriend did not accept your apologies, then it will be easier for you because for our part you have done everything possible.

Parents, people who always simulate. They are forgiven for thoughtlessly told words, for, what is not going to call them. Stay in your cycle of life. Mom and dad are the closest and expensive who you have. You may not work out with a girl, friendship can lend yourself, and parents are always with you.

Take the rule to call them every day and find out how things are. Ask forgiveness for your indifference to them. And what if you have not reached, that age, when you can fully make decisions and takes care of myself financially?

First of all, you need to realize that you also have wrong. If you only see the shortcomings of parents, and not to notice, then it is extremely difficult to ask for forgiveness. In addition, parents are not perfect. They want goodness to you, but do not always know how to do it right. One can be confident in one, they sincerely care about you.

"We must make for yourself the choice of liberation themselves
And forgive everyone without exception, especially themselves.
Let we do not know how to forgive, but you need to want it much. "

Louise Haye

Everything ever in your life tested offense. And many of you are familiar with the unwillingness to forgive the man who caused evil.

You carry this cargo with you every day, cherished your offended feelings, regret yourself.

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But what benefits do you bring it? Remembering the offense, you are again and reworked in the events of the past, poisoning the present.

How to let go of this pain? What is this forgiveness? What means be able to forgive And how to come to this?

If you have these questions, then you are on the way to a true forgiveness.

Learn how to go from the state of pity for yourself to liberation, gaining strength and inner harmony.

What is for forgiveness

What do you feel when offended?

Inside everything is compressed, you seemed to be, consciousness narrows. You look at the world through the prism of your feelings and do not see the whole picture.

When you are offended by someone, you give all the energy to feed this resentment.

In such a state of your the heart is closedYou are not able to give love. You can't love yourself, your loved ones.

What is forgiveness?

There is an opinion that forgiveness is a manifestation of mercy. Forgiving from nobility, you fall into the trap. Resentment remains, but at a deeper level.

Your ego, increased from the manifestation of generosity to the offender, seeks to hide true feelings.

You are still offended, but now forced to hide it from ourselves and from all.

The company also believes that he will give way, to forgive - weakness and bravery. But in reality is manifestation of power.

For goodbye, you become vulnerable, but at the same time, take effect and cease to depend on the feelings that destroy you.

To keep evil on a person, whatever he caused you to cause you, it means to be in a state of victim.

Forgive sincerely, taking the situation, it means frequently.

Letting the past, you remove the dam built from claims, aggression, anger and offense.

Energy begins to pour out of the heart, placing painful emotions. At this moment there is a transformation with you, you step on a new round of your spiritual evolution.

Look at the state of resentment from different sides to understand how this feeling can be used for its development.

What resentment to let go of the most difficult

The deepest resentments are resentment on loved ones: parents, spouses.

It all starts with parents. You are experiencing claims for disliked, threw, did not support, reproached, criticized, did not believe in you, etc.

The child plays a lot of expectations on parents. And often they do not cope with this volume.

Growing, we understand that parents loved, as they could, but the offense still remains in the heart. She goes into the unconscious.

And then projected on partners in life.

All we have suffered from parents, we are transferred to spouses, which, in turn, give us a reason to be offended, experience claims, etc.

But do not forget that we choose your parents long before birth. And they fulfill all the conditions and requirements of the contract concluded on a fine plan.

Parents are the most powerful catalysts of our changes in themselves. In the most bitter insults are hidden important lessons, awareness.

If we for some reason have not learned them with parents, we transfer them to partners: husbands, wives.

Take a closer to your life, analyze the chain of key events, starting with childhood, and you will definitely find this truth, behind which you actually came here to Earth, in this embodiment.

Ask yourself what lesson did you choose to learn with the help of parents?

To find out what parents taught you, this article will help you.

Why do you need to forgive

"As soon as a person gets ill,
He needs to look in his heart, who needs to forgive. "

Louise Haye

Who needs for forgiveness more, offender or you?

Not everyone who has hurt you, know about it. And not all feel guilty.

And you go with your offense or feeling betrayal constantly.

Scroll through this traumatic situation again and again destroyed From the inside

This pain is all the time with you. You cling to the dead grip. The longer you hold offense, the more difficult it is to let go.

Exhausted energy you don't live in full strength, Do not feel happiness, are not able to love, because your heart is closed.

No one is no longer a secret that thoughts supported by emotions are material. What we ship into the universe is returned to us in a multiplied form.

Resisting forgiveness, you are exposing yourself a big danger.

On the etheric plane, energy clot is formed, which are subsequently transformed into real physical diseases.

See below, which diseases cause unsecured resentment:

"Do not think that your forgiveness means for your opponents, those who offended you in the past. Enjoy the fact that forgiveness gives you. Learn to forgive, and you will be easier to go to your dreams, not burdened by the luggage of the past. "

Nick Vuychich

Go from the resentment to forgiveness - it means to move from the state of the victim to the state of the Creator.

First of all, you need wanted forgive.

If you are grown offense, you will not come to mind that forgiveness is the best way to solve the situation.

Instead, you digest the options that you would say or as we did in that situation, as you behave further with this person and how to punish it.

All offenders are our teachers.

We are subconscious we want to be offended And therefore, we attract such people in your life. Why do we do it? Each response is yours.

There is no resentment caused to us just for suffering. All of them contain a jewel, finding which we become wiser.

Allow yourself to look at the situation under such an angle, and you will see what is really hiding behind the offend.

The more the injury caused, the more value the experience is contained in it.

When you are aware of the hidden value of betrayal, you will understand that forgive you not for. And you will experience a sense of gratitude and unconditional love for the offender.

If there are constantly situations in your life when you betray, humiliate, this suggests that you hardly do not want to see something important for your spiritual development.

Understand that the soul does not enjoy the cause of pain.

At the subconscious level, a person suffers when it is forced to behave in this way. Some part of it does not understand why he does it.

For goodbye, you will free yourself, and it is from the fulfillment of this contract. You give the opportunity to man to show your true feelings for you.

10 steps from insult to forgiveness

Especially for you, we have created infographics in which the main steps to help come to forgive:

Stop the path of forgiveness is not easy.

You need to possess courage to look at the betrayal, as the problem you have created. But it is difficult to make only the first step.

Realizing the true role of the offender in his life, you are able to truly forgive him by accepting your feelings.

So you exempt the place for love, compassion in the heart, change your life and become wiser.

Successes to you on this path. And let him be easy!

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The ability to recognize your wrongness and bring indentant apologies to whom you did unfairly, is an indicator of personal maturity. This ability is necessary in relationships with loved ones and with children, with colleagues at work and in the Internet space. But sometimes, bringing apologies, we make mistakes that do not contribute to the restoration of relations, but, on the contrary, complicate them.

websiteconsiders 6 examples of how you should not apologize if you do not want to spoil the relationship and exacerbate the situation. At the end of the article you are waiting for a bonus - recommendations of scientists, how to apologize so that they sound convincing.

1. To see from apology, dumping guilt on others and circumstances

No one likes to ask for forgiveness and admit that something was wrong with something. To do this, the courage is required - the courage to recognize your imperfection, the courage to look into the eyes of a person who offended, the courage to find and utter words apologies. And our ego prevents us from recognizing our wrong.

And here we argue and justify. But the understanding that we can be wrong that we can hurt someone and what the forgiveness should be asked for this - an important part of growing up. It is important to have courage to honestly recognize the oversight and do not hill your responsibility on the circumstances or actions of another person.

2. apologize for the same offense many times

It would seem that it is easier - to ask for forgiveness and with a calm heart to live on. But some manage to "stick up" in this unpleasant moment and repeat without end: "Sorry! You are no longer angry at me? " What sooner or later causes irritation of the second side.

Approm it is necessary to briefly, sincerely, once and no longer return to this issue.

3. Decompose the damage

If in response to some kind of laughter you were told: "Nothing terrible," then you should not say: "Indeed! Think! " It is better to ask for forgiveness and ask how you can reimburse the damage caused.

4. apologize in joking-indifferent form

If a person who wants to apologize, he says in a joking form: "Well, sorry," spreading with his hands, it does not look like sincere regret.

After trying to translate everything in a joke can be a desire to discharge the tension created in the relationship, but, as a rule, humor in similar situations It looks inappropriate and mocking. It is better to save jokes and humor for more suitable moments.

5. Appologize so that the "victim" would like to regret you yourself

Apologies are needed to recognize your mistake and establish relationships, emphasizes Professor of the International Business School of the University of the University (USA) and Coach Andy Molinsky (Andy Molinsky). And apologies apologize not to facilitate their own conscience, and in order for the one to whom they are addressed, felt better.

If you attract attention to your own feelings, and not to a perfect mistake, then take care of yourself with your loved one, and not about the affected side.

6. apologize and continue to behave in the same way.

Apologies of an adult assume that he made a lesson for the future from his act. And apologize and continue to behave in the same way - absolutely immature and meaningless behavior.

Bonus: how to apologize convincing

The American Professor, a specialist in the field of management and human resources Roy Lewicki and his colleagues conducted studies to study apologies. These studies have shown that there are 6 elements that make an apology convincing and efficient. And the more elements of these 6 contains your apology, the more convincing it sounds.

These are these items:

1. To express my regret.

2. Explain why an error occurred.

3. To recognize your responsibility for what happened.

4. Express regret about what happened.

5. To promise to pay damage. At the same time, it is advisable to clarify what exactly it will be to conclus.

6. Ask for forgiveness. It is worth understanding that this part of apologies is more appropriate if you apologize to loved ones and native people, and in a situation business communication It is better to skip it.

Experiments have shown that the most important elements are recognition of their responsibility and promise to compensate damage. And also, undoubtedly, visual contact and sincerity.

When did you start learning your children apologize? Remind them several times a day, what is it necessary? You may know that just saying "sorry", it is often not enough.

The phrase quickly becomes so familiar and beaten, which turns simply into words, and not an expression of regret and recognition of its responsibility.

We tell our children to ask for forgiveness when they are in the park on running on another child, or if they took toys of another baby, or at home, when they quarrel with their brothers and sisters because of any little things.

We force them to say their "sorry" again and again. They repeat our words, but do they feel regret?

Why "sorry" does not work in itself

I see a few problems with the phrase "Forgive Me." Recalling the child, about what you need to say "sorry", we often miss the main meaning of this word.

1. Does the child know what he should regret? It's funny that we are so often forced to apologize to him, but at the same time forget to show what it was he guilty. Ask a child! Perhaps he does not know what made wrong.

2. Words are not equal to feelings. Did the child put himself in place of another person to understand why his behavior was unsconent?

3. It is normal - feel. It happens that your child is upset or angry. These feelings make him take something unpleasant to others.

Recognize his emotions. We just have to help him learn to manifest them right.

4. Is there any little action that will help the child to realize the mistake? If the words are supported by action, it will give him the power and confidence that he did not commit something irreparable and can change the situation.

5. Does your child feel that he loves? Children often accept comments made much sharper than we mean. We must clearly express that we condemn the action, and not the child himself.

I want my children to understand what they regret, and not just said "Sorry". I want them to think about how to avoid repetition of this situation in the future.

This is what rules it is customary to ask for forgiveness:

I apologize - for what?

Now, when a child says "Sorry," I clarify: "Why do you ask for forgiveness?" This supplement makes the child think about their actions, realize them and take responsibility for them.



Sometimes the child responds: "I don't know." This indicates what is needed to clarify the situation. The child simply does not understand what he did badly, or does not know how otherwise he had to behave in this situation.

We are talking about it. We are discussing the situation and invent the action plan for the next time.

Plan games

In the upper line of the rating of my parent disappointments - how quickly after the punishment, the child gets him again for a similar act ... That's why immediately after "sorry" and the subsequent explanation "For what", my children must tell about their action plan or reaction next time. .

If they need help, we develop a strategy together for the next time.

"The sister took my toy and did not return her, so I hit her." "How do you do next to the next time? First, try to talk to her. Ask your toy. Then offage the exchange. If it does not work, talk to my mother."

Feelings are normal

If yours, then probably this is the result of the strong feelings that it is experiencing. What is this feeling? I am amazed how effectively the child helps to calm down only recognition of these feelings. Children need to understand what they feel. Then we can talk about how to cope with these strong feelings.

"Are you angry, because someone took your toy? It's natural. I would also be upset if someone had taken my things. The problem is not that you are angry. Everyone is angry, but we must contact our Anger. We can hit someone because you are angry. But it is better to start with what you will speak with this person. If it does not work, turn to mom or dad. "

Action Plan - make it right

Did the damage cause someone for which the child apologizes? Someone hurt? Is there something that he can do to correct the situation? If so, he is obliged to do what is in his power to solve the problem.



The phrase "I apologize" will not replace the glass broken by the ball in the neighbor's window. And if you took something, it needs to be returned. If something broke, you can try to restore or make money to cover the damage. If you hurt someone, you can calm this person and try to correct the situation.

Children who are taking certain actions to correct the situation, get an incentive to look for other ways to solve their problems - non-violent. It encourages them to show more respect for the property of other people, strengthens personal responsibility.

Condemn action and not a child

Children constantly learn to control their strong feelings and emotions. It is difficult, and they make many mistakes on this path. We need to remind them that we love them.

We may not like their actions, but we love the children themselves. We believe in them. They can try again. They can fix their behavior. They can be stronger and learn to get out of difficult situations elegantly and courageously. This is a process, and we are ready to stay next to them while they learn. Speak about this to the child.

Disputes will occur as children grow and develop. However, instead of the learned "sorry", which means nothing to anyone, our children can fully discuss any trouble. They can express their feelings. They can talk about it. They can realize their ability to solve problems, and not just to react mindlessly.

Marina Polish translation specifically for "Mamsil"

Throughout our life, we, voluntarily or not voluntarily, offend someone from other people, we apply to them any damage or hurt their feelings. Often, we have to apologize for their actions or words. But most often we are difficult for us to ask for forgiveness, including, so our phrases sound unconvincing.

So how to turn banal words to convincing apologies that will help restore relationships? How to make these phrases be effective to restore relations, mutual respect and trust?

It must be said that the ability to realize their guilt and, especially since bring her apologies - this is one of key features Mature personality. If we consider apologies only as a generally accepted social norm, which is given to us from the very childhood, then practically no positive effect will bring such actions.

In many people, it happens - the skill of the realization of the damage caused, their own guilt and the need to ask for forgiveness does not develop above those formal actions with which a person was taught in childhood; "I am sorry. I did not mean it". From the mouth of an adult, it sounds unconvincing and often just annoying.

Why apologize is difficult?

The very fact that we have to apologize, means recognizing your own error or wrong. To realize that you do not meet the ideal, and even more so, to say it out loud, considerable courage and mental maturity.

IN childhood We are most often forced to apologize under the pressure of older relatives who threatened us with punishment, deprivation of dessert or viewing the cartoon. Thus, the sociocultural rate was not brought up, did not require awareness of the child, and was imposed on the outside and accompanied by the feeling of powerlessness, and misunderstanding.

It is not surprising that together with the ability to pronounce the words "excuse me", we long, if not forever, you get used to feeling humiliation - in childhood, adults, using their authorities over children, require them that the child does not want to do or simply not yet understand.

Our awkwardness in the selection of phrases for apologies is most often related to the need to avoid a sense of humiliation, which has been gained in us in the form of a kind of "reflex".

Therefore, we unconsciously use not entirely correct or formal wording, which do not simply do not allow an existing conflict, but lead to a new one: "Sorry, but I think ...", "Sorry, do not be offended!" and I.D. All these linguistic designs give a certain insincerity and only angry the interlocutor. He hears literally the following: "I consider myself right, but I don't like how you react to it!" Agree, if you look at the question from this side, you should not be surprised why the apology brought does not bring the desired result.

They camouflage the desire of apologizing to remain the right and the absence of repentance in the fact that he offended someone with his actions and words. You probably have come to such situations for more than once: all the formalities were observed, apology sounded, and the desire to forgive you do not appear.

There is another important aspect: between phrases "I apologize" and "Sorry I" is a huge difference. The first is the "learned" implementation of the norms adopted in society. The second is the recognition of your mistake that puts us into a more dependent position on the person we offended: he is free to forgive or forgive.

Why do you apologize?

In response to this question is a lot. First, we already found out that an apology brought as fulfilling the rules of courtesy is ineffective. Secondly, an apology needs to be brought out of the fact that you were wrong, but because you made moral damage to another person.

Only apologies aimed at restoring someone's emotional balance that you have broken can lead to forgiveness. Effective only those apologies that are focused not on your sensations and needs, but on the feelings and needs of the other!

If it is even easier: apologous, we do not try to help us feel better, we are trying to stabilize their condition. Therefore, such our actions do not help restore relationships.

Effective apologies

Accompanying is a recognition of the fact that we recognized the mistakenity of our actions towards another person. Thus, we take responsibility for this, asking for forgiveness and make the first step towards the restoration of the previous relationship. Our apologies will be more efficient if they include:

1. Clear wording of misconduct
2. Sincere regret in what happened
3. Awareness of the fact that social norms or expectations were violated.
4. Sincere sympathy for offended
5. Clear request forgive

Most often we forget about the need to express sympathy. To be offended by us could forgive us, he must understand that we "missed through ourselves" those negative emotions, to which our actions led.

It is not so easy to recognize in your mistakes. But work on myself and then apologize to the person to whom we hurt themselves, it is necessary - it will not just return your relationship to the previous level, but will make your own feeling of ultingness much easier.

And remember that you need to ask for forgiveness because it is so accepted, but because you yourself want it. Because you are rooting this person and your relationship, because you want to restore trust and friendship. And then you will succeed!