What to do for self-development. Where to start self-development: a step-by-step plan for a woman and a girl

You will receive an answer to the question. where to start self-developmentAfter reading this article. Here I will share with you a technique whose classes will take from you only 40 minutes a day. These classes will be your answer to the question of how to start self-development right now! No changes in lifestyle at the moment will be required of you, just 40 minutes of practice daily! Almost immediately you will feel relaxation, improving well-being and it will not require long-term preparation. But about this later, first allow me to start with the preface.

Printing this article, I feel great responsibility. Because it is well aware of what a delicate, careful relationship requires a person at the time of searching the starting point from which self-development begins.

How and when to start self-development? How it should not start.

That is why I will try to give the most intended and most appropriate answer to the main question of this article. But not every answer may be successful, how exactly he did not reflect the main stages of self-development, there is always a danger that this answer is able to scare you, to make the hands of the hands at that moment, which may be the most responsible, an important point in your life When it is determined, you follow the path of self-improvement or will continue to live for the same life. I will explain it a little below.

Many information sources trying to answer the question " how to start self-development?", Fell to the reader a bunch of tips. These tips can not be called harmful or wrong. They are simply late. Since they are suggested to start making fundamental changes to the lifestyle, in habit, in the routine of the day, in the social relationship, etc., in general, radically revise the existing, the usual state of affairs.

Such advice, calling for sharp, rapid changes, suggest tremendous power, as well as the energy of which they are addressed. After all, not everyone is able to part rightly with their favorite habits, and, begin to organize free and working hours, stop the aimless, unproductive wandering over the Internet and praise reading books or other sources that contribute to self-development together with overall erudition.

People get used to their lifestyle, for this reason are not capable of making a magic wand, to rebuild it and start changing for the better. Moreover, such a radical transition to new habits, as well as a schedule, requires such things as the power of will, character, determination, focus on the purpose, the ability to make decisions, to bear responsibility for them. But these things are components of the development of the personality, they develop as the stages of self-development.

And if someone asks " where to start self-development"The conclusion is concluded that this" someone "is still located only at the origins of this path and, therefore, can not have any of the above qualities.

It turns out that in the service of the good goal was the wrong approach. My task is to harmonious self-improvement, which I understand as a balanced development of intellectual, physical, aesthetic, social and spiritual qualities. We are not going to hurry anywhere. After all, I do not offer some rapid decisions, and aims to progressive gradual formation of you as a person.

How to start self-development today

Therefore, I'm not going to wait for some rapid changes from you, but I will offer to start with a small one. With such a "small", which will not be a challenge to your habitual lifefriend, you will not take much time and effort you have (you will need only 40 minutes a day). But later, with regular practice, it will bring a lot of vital advantages. And only then, gradually, when the time comes, you will begin to make changes in your life, in your character, in your environment.

You will have time in order to decide what you really want, what qualities to develop, on what to make an emphasis and where to move, but for this, a certain help is required, a deccent. You can start with the formation of this "bridgehead" right today, without postponing for the future, because it does not require special training or special skills.

Once again, it is emphasized that the use of this Eastern practice has been successfully reflected in Western culture, provinging its effectiveness within the exercise relaxation, control of consciousness and neutralization of mental discomfort, maintaining discipline, going from the area of \u200b\u200besoteric knowledge to the science knowledge area. Meditation - an effective tool in the service of self-development!

But there must be a clear understanding that this practice is not an end in itself, as well as for the runner is not the ultimate goal of the development of the muscles of the legs, it is just a tool for achieving the desired result: for a runner it is a victory on running competitions, and for you - harmonious and balanced Self-development. You do not meditate in order to master the meditation technique (although it would be very good, even needed), and in order to make it easier to grow, develop as a person.

Probably personal growth is possible without meditation, but since I rely on your own experience, I'm talking about what helped me. Other paths are unknown to me. For me, meditation served to move forward and the beginning of self-development. Now, finally, for a long prelude, a concrete and intent response to the question of how to start self-development: "Start meditate!"

First, as I have already written, it does not take more than 40 minutes a day, it does not require any special conditions (it is not necessary to throw everything to collect manaks and leave for Tibet :-)). You can even do it in public transport on the way to work / study. Although it is desirable to do it in calm atmosphere. But if there is no possibility, even the subway will fit).

Meditation is difficult?

No need to have a big level of preparation in order to start doing meditation! Technique you will master as practices, will come with time. You also do not need to immediately change your habits, just add meditation in the morning and evening to your routine. The main condition to do it regularly, don't forget and not score, Only then will you feel a useful effect.

The effect manifests itself in different ways. I have six months. Let you not scare this time: instant result will not be!. This you should understand yourself firmly, come to accept this thought. In my opinion an instant result is myth, phantom. All important, principal personality changes are worn long and gradual character) So where to start?

Meditation is your practice that will provide you with the necessary skills for self-development, this is a kind of fundamental exercise that needs to be started to engage primarily. It is also necessary as a beginner gymnast for a start should be stretching before moving to the rest.

First, read the theory in, and then you can proceed to the practice itself. Remember, no one hurts you, you do not need to have time to read it all in the shortest possible time. If you are very lazy to study all these theoretical materials, then proceed directly to practice, but read at least the findings set out in the first step.

In conclusion, I would like to note that at least the main long-term effect of meditation does not appear immediately, but you will feel some positive changes immediately after the start of practice. It's because you just will be regular relax and bring thoughts in order (This applies to instant effects), which is already good. In addition, you enter into your routine mandatory exercise, which will be engaged daily, strictly twice a day for 20 minutes per session, it already makes some minimal additional order to your life (whatever you do every day do not matter meditation This is charging or everyday jog). This teaches you to restrain your promises yourself, maintain discipline, which is perhaps one of the most significant stages of self-development.

I hope you are ready to start. Wish you luck!

This does not mean that now you are not beautiful, but constant development is necessary if you want to preserve, motivation and peace of mind. We will tell about the 16 rules that are the foundation for self-improvement. Make a small chamber every day to the best version of yourself.

Enrich the mind

1. Eat frog

Not in the literal sense, of course, although it is not excluded. Our regular readers probably remembered this expression. "Eat a frog" - it means to do something unpleasant. So, do it at the beginning of the day. One thing, whether it is a challenging work task or an unpleasant phone call. Distribution of this case, and it will not be a grave cargo hanging over you until the end of the day.

2. Start already developing or acquiring skills

Better than now, will not, believe me. No need to wait a special day to start tightening or learn to play the guitar. Want to learn the language - register on the service for self-study, buy audioores or hide a tutor. Then it will definitely be difficult to retreat. Buy guitar! Yes, these spending are justified: this is the way to your dream.

3. Enclose the contract with friends

No financial opportunity to sign up for courses or buy a musical instrument? Ask help from friends. Perhaps one of them has a tool dust without a business. In addition, his happy owner can show you a couple of chords. Or your friend can work with you a foreign language.

By the way, in this case the benefits will be for both parties. After all, when we explain to someone's material, you yourself begin to understand it better. Maybe your friends will be useful and pleasant to remember their skills.

4. Read, read and read again!

Read the books of any genres, read the rop. Books expand your consciousness, give the experience that you may not be able to get in real life, they make you think. Do not know what to read? For you there is a rubric Lifehaker "". And we are periodically writing on interesting books that we come across.

Develop the body

1. Do a few strength exercises every day.

In the gym do not spend all the time on a treadmill or elliptical simulator. Do and strength exercises. With dumbbells, barbell or own weight. Start with ordinary squats.

2. Replace unhealthy food with favorite fruits and vegetables

Well, yes, it sounds too much. And again, blah blah blah ... But this advice does not lose its relevance. We can harm or bring the body. Instead of chips pack, eat that fruit or vegetable that you like. Will there be such?

3. Try group classes

A cheerful instructor and like-minded people are often very great to motivate on classes. Invite a friend to do together with you. You may, both are not enough friendly pinks to regularly attend workouts.

4. Drink water

Still, nothing quenches thirst so perfectly like water. Do not deny yourself in drink when. Wear water with you so as not to buy a shitryoga and not seduce with sweet sodes.

Cultivate true happiness

1. Praise others

It is very cool - to do someone happy, especially about whom you care. In addition, happiness is cautionary. Express your appreciation to others. People need to know when they are good in something, and you will receive a charge of a good mood.

2. Smile

Seriously! Smiling, you get many advantages. For example, release endorphins that make you. Even if you smile through strength, you will start feeling better. The next time you feel like negative emotions you want, take them under the control of a smile.

3. And even better - laugh

Remember how well you feel after moving away from the soul. This is all because of the same endorphins. Put the goal to laugh at least once a day. How? Read something ridiculous or watch a series of your favorite comedy series.

4. Environ yourself with whom you are good

Think what you feel, communicate with people who are constantly surrounding you. Are there any of them those who deplete you, who constantly brings negative emotions? Are there those who sabotize your efforts to improve themselves, who? You cannot be truly happy if you are surrounded by negative people. Try to spend time with those who encourage your efforts and inspires you. You deserve it.

Grow spiritual

1. Put your goals

We are not talking about career purposes now, although they are also important. Start your day with thoughts on how to make yourself happier yourself or someone else, what good can you do today? Put goals for spiritual growth.

2. Be grateful for what you already have

There are always things that we want to get, but we have not yet. It is important to go to your goals, but it makes no sense to worry because you have not reached them yet. Remember: there is someone who is happy, having less than you. If you are grateful every day for having, it will help you appreciate your life and your choice. At the end of the day, write down that of what happened, for which you are grateful. Focus on positive moments in your life, and you will grow spiritually.

3. Try to do yoga

Even if you are still who hardly performs asians, yoga still like you. Yoga is good for cleansing the mind and body awareness. Even the simplest postures give this effect. Start the day with yoga, and it will go well.

4. Remember: everything goes

In life there are troubles, problems, sad events that are completely absorbed. It's hard to drink and go on. Ask yourself what value does this problem have for you in a year? And after 5 years, after 10? Not to mention the end of life.

You have only one life! Attach efforts and make it better.

We all want the same. Each of us tries to achieve maximum comfort in life, in which we will experience the strongest feelings - love, happiness, adventure, excitement, complacency.

The reason why self-development as an idea and how practicing exists at all is that we do not feel the proper quality of life. Otherwise we would not have the need to develop.

There are many ways to start working on self-development. You can work on all that you do not like in yourself, or strengthen what you like.


We all love different things, so for everyone this work is unique. But exist list of universal methodsthat will help you grow as personalities:

  1. Select time for reflection.
  2. Make teaching habit.
  3. Stop it useless to spend strength and relax.
  4. Know your desires.
  5. Take care physically.
  6. Arrange priorities.

If you do not spend time on thinking about why you want to improve how to improve how to learn how to find time for improvement and how to get rid of justification, why you still have not started, most likely you will never shift from the place .

1. Highlight the time to reflect


We are convinced that we know what is good and what is bad, which behavior of people is right, what is the well-being, which means the success, what is happiness, how to become happy ...

Think about it to deepen thoughts into anything, that is, truly think And put a certain question. We live as if we already know the answers to all questions.

We all live, guided by certain principles, isn't it? We are all in a constant search for the same - comfort, that is, such a state of soul, when we feel a stable feeling of happiness, thrust to unknown, emotion and love.

You do not seem interesting to you that most of the people who come across our path, including we ourselves do not feel satisfaction (Evaluate your level of satisfaction with life), to which everyone is usually so strive? Have you ever wondered why it is so?

If we do not post your time to truly think about these issues, we will never get to them, but it is worth starting to do it as soon as possible.

As soon as we open our eyes in the morning, our mind and attention are already filled with the cases that we must fulfill for the day. Our day begins with the fact that we literally accept our obligations.

Find time to just ask yourself where you go and will you end up where you want- This is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

What is self-development without knowing how you get the desire to improve, and how will it affect the quality of your life?

2. Make teaching habit


It is necessary to acquire useful habits, for example, start learning something new every day.

Not being influenced by other thinking images, avoiding new information and having a different look at the world, the quality of our thoughts will not change.

If we do not find a way to transform your thoughts, then all our existence will be limited to the frameworks that were delivered initially. If we do not change anything in your life and so it will be until its end, then we can say that we have already died.

What does feel alive mean? Live man attentive, active, involved.

When our attention always follows the same way, our actions in any situations are automatic and are not aimed at growing and development, then we cannot consider themselves active and involved.

3. Stop it useless to spend strength and relax


If we do not sleep, what we usually do from 10 pm to 2 o'clock in the morning? I especially want to ask this question to each teenager.

It's one thing when we spend time with friends or family and get pleasure from it, but completely different when we look at the TV or wander on the Internet.

We often suffer from lack of time, but did we ever really think about how much we spend on perfectly useless and meaningless things? Spend at least time the timing of the day to evaluate your usefulness of daily affairs.

Agree that if we stopped spending our nights so useless, then we could relax a good care, and then wake up with full willingness to create your day in our rules, and not to crush because of a lack of time for ourselves.

We all have certain obligations and all of us have any desires.

Stop spending time and take it under your control so that your duties do not take you all so precious time that you could spend on your desires.

4. Know your desires


Why do you make certain actions? What drives you when you take any definite solutions every day?

Why now you want one, and after a while - completely different?

Suppose why you now have a strong motivation to be strong, play sports, stick to the right nutrition, but after 5 minutes you find yourself justification to do this?

And this question is delivered not only for girls who, in principle, tend to change their desires often, and it is relevant absolutely for everyone.

We are all convinced that we knew yourself well, So we understand who we are and for what reason we make any certain actions. However, do not forget that you need to be able to relate to yourself objectively and how to look at yourself from the side.

Learn to notice the inconsistency of your desires. The most effective way to at least close to the possibility of personal growth is to become the owner of his inner contradictions.

5. Take care of yourself physically


Physical opportunities are undoubtedly playing a very important role in order to feel happy, to feel the best quality of life.

When we feel bad or hurt, we can not be upset because of this, do not regret ourselves and not justify these of their idleness.

To get rid of this problem, your physical condition should be at such a level so that you do not even think about it. You do it, doing sports, sticking to healthy nutrition and full sleep.

Without fit oil, water, fuel and systematic maintenance, the car can not ride normally. Its details begin to fail in order by one until the car is not collapsed entirely.

Also occurs with our body. Take care of your body. Give him the opportunity to act in your interests, and not the opposite.

6. Establish priorities.


Instead of trying to rebuild everything at once, first focus on several things. In some cases, it is better to even focus only on the same area first.

Focus on several things, but not at all at once.

Let's consider simple examples:

  • First you deeply immerse question of personal life. An example is finally approaching that girl with which you have long wanted to meet.
  • And as soon as you took it under control, you go to your health. Doing charging in the morning, go to the gym, buy healthy food, finally write to the doctor and so on.
  • Next you work on your performance (Get married in the morning, do not distract from the task for the day).

Thus, you will not be overloaded, and you will have the opportunity to direct all your resources for a successful change in one of the areas of your life.

If you managed to change one sphere of your life, then you will get the necessary confidence to change the rest of the areas.

Determine your focus to start self-development



If you try to take up everything at once, it will only lead to a lack of time, attention and energy, sharply reducing your chances of success. When your original enthusiasm passes, all this pretty quickly can become an oppressive occupation.

Thus, select from one to three regions and focus only on them. Only after that proceed to the improvement of other areas of your life.

Many people in our world are "addicts" knowledge, they just love to collect more knowledge, But then do not take real actions, which creates a false sense of personal development.

Now you know where to start self-development and how to place priorities in self-improvement. Do not forget these 6 simple rules that will help you achieve success in your self-development.

Why start self-development? Before looking for a path leading to achieving a dream, and most importantly - to personal happiness, you should first make out what kind of self-improvement.

Definition of self-development

When a person wants and self-actualize - to achieve his goals, explore his inner world, to reveal the entire hidden potential, - he begins to consciously extract new knowledge, witness the skills, to engage in self-analysis. This is self-development.

But for the term "self-development", the definition often does not include a critical moment: it means to be prepared for pain. Any system of self-priority requires work, because the material in it is one of the most difficult and so far to the end of the wrong person.

Understanding this, we will analyze the basics of these science in detail to have all the tools for self-development necessary for the present and sincere work on themselves.

Three types of self-development

Although it is possible to allocate the main types of self-development, it should be remembered that they intertwine and depend on each other, and therefore ideally you need to know how to develop yourself in all these directions.

Of course, these are only common directions of self-development. You can talk about material self-improvement - the desire to achieve financial self-sufficiency. Social will increase communication skills, will develop empathy, because a person is a social, and his position in society and the attitude of others will largely generate and helps determine the place in the world. Creative self-development pays attention to the desire to create new, self-realization. In general, it is appropriate to remember the Pyramid of Maslow: a conscious attempt to achieve a goal on any of its steps and will be a type of self-development, but, of course, in vacuum, it cannot exist and will require a different work on himself.

Five stages of self-development

There are many typologies and classifications. Some reduce the entire process to the three main points: knowledge, action and being. But to consider the situation in more detail, the psychology of self-development can be presented in the form of the following structure.

The first stage is a self-knowledge. A man looks into himself, as other people's eyes - what he is in the presentation of others - and its own. It is very important - to understand what or seems to be worth it for him. Often the erroneous ideas of other people, as well as erroneous ideas about the erroneous ideas of others can "catch" all their life. The art of self-analysis, reflection and introspection is not a minute case, it is comprehended for many years, as a result of long practice.

The second stage is the acceptance of yourself. As a result of a honest view, his dignity and disadvantages can appear to his inner world, and at this moment it is important to remain honest with them to the end. The search for excuses, more bad examples of the surrounding life, the incorrect distribution of priorities may prevent the education of the personality or even worse - to mislead that self-improvement and self-development continue, while they have long come to a dead end. Favoring yourself for the positive aspects, having resigned with some negative, because no one can be perfect, and choosing the goal of self-development, a person moves to the next stage.

The third stage is knowledge. After familiarization with the inner world, a person draws a gaze to an external one. It is necessary to make a plan of self-development to understand how to preserve and improve the current positive aspects of the personality and correct negative than they can help achieve various purposes. At this stage, it is connected as all the diversity of world cultures - literature, cinema, other arts, and other people's examples, historical or from the environment of a person. For greater efficiency, there may be any courses and trainings that focus the accumulated human knowledge and give it to learn in a shorter in concentrated form.

The fourth stage is an action. It is impossible to say that this is the most important stage, since everything is equally important. But that he is very complicated - fact. Many are going with the forces and study their inner world for a long time, but they are not solved in the actions, and the reasons for this are many. Just think: in the world around us the world, the absolute majority of people day after day for one or another tells themselves that self-development and self-realization is not for them. A frightening number of people remain unhappy until the end of life, because they could not take action. To break out of this gloomy statistics, all human strength is needed.

The fifth stage is one that is often forgotten or not given proper meaning. At the beginning of the typology, it is indicated as "Genesis" - this refers to consolidation and further life with the results achieved. Very often, by performing its own plan of self-development, or rather, "Casting" in all of all gradually in a rustling of enthusiasm, after six months, a person rolled back to her old life. Like an eternal student, he constantly performs the right deeds and accumulates a large number of useful knowledge, but in the end it does not know how to dispose of them. This can occur for various reasons that ideally should be tracked and eliminated in the first stages: the general spiritual impassion of a person, or the absence of courage to truly achieve the goal, or something else. On one of the reasons wrote Paulo Coelho: "We all are afraid to carry out our most cherished dreams, for it seems to us that we are unworthy or that we still do not think to embody them."

It may be relevant and analogy with medicine: it is worth skipping only one dose of medication, as the entire course will be useless. We will not forget the popular quotation from the book "Alice in the Watercalter" Lewis Carroll: "You have to run from all your feet to just stay in the same place, and to get into another place, you need to run half the faster." In order for this last stage. Self-improvement of a person is a hard work in which you can not leave on the weekend or take a vacation.

It is important to understand that the listed steps of self-development is not a specific manual for action. This is a cycle that inevitably passes anyone who got on the way to self-improvement, often even unconsciously, and this cycle will be repeated until the end of life, helping to achieve all new heights, because there is no limits to excellence. It is worth getting rid of one shortage or gain a new skill, as needed to return to the beginning, re-conduct a spiritual and moral audit and again outline a goal.

Five enemies self-development

You can not get around the attention and this negative point. If self-development was easily given to everyone, then there would be no need to teach him and there would be no sense to talk about self-improvement as a science or art, and the world would be overwhelmed truly happy people around. Here are some common barriers able to prevent any plan of self-development:


There are no proven or guaranteed ways to combat these enemies. After all, in the end, the main enemy for ourselves is you yourself. It would seem that anyone is able to overcome laziness, remove fears, not to overestimate expectations from themselves. To do this, you need a little - just to tell yourself that it is trifles. And at the same time, as it is not easy, what a long-term workout of the will of the will requires. Consider the methods of combating these enemies and ways of self-improvement.

Self-improvement plan

So, self-development and self-improvement - where to start? Since the first stage of self-development - self-analysis and determination of the main benchmarks, first of all, the plan of self-improvement should be compiled. It is best to immediately make it in the form of a diary, which you will lead daily. From school years, we remember the famous lion diaries of Tolstoy, who served one of the tools to achieve its legendary impressive results. The classic wrote: "I never had a diary, because I did not see any benefit from him. Now, by developing their abilities, I will be able to judge the progress of this development in the diary. "

Such a "simulator" will help immediately in several cases. Firstly, this is a regular diary that organizes a superstructure in the head and personal and working life. It is useful to have a day structure at hand. Secondly, his conduct itself disciplines, it requires an unexpectedly much of the will, actually, even Tolstoy his first diary threw. But, as in exercise, the constant repetition of action will strengthen spiritual muscles. The diary will allow every day to pay a little time to your inner world, self-development.

Finally, the diary needs to record a plan of self-improvement and affairs the next day, a week, month, constantly adjusting them. But it can be added to it:

  1. Literature and other sources necessary for development are their own education courses.
  2. Your budget and expenses, constantly follow them. The path of self-improvement is a lot, and such actions bring tangible benefit almost immediately.
  3. A variety of ideas, observations, thoughts. On the one hand, they may be useful, and how often do we forget in the evening, or even after an hour any successful action plan? On the other hand, even not related directly to how to change yourself for the better, such sketches help better feel the life around, notice the hidden moments or causal relationships that are useful to take note. This brings up observation and attentiveness.
  4. Creative experiments! Draw, write poetry, throw the plans of the novels - give yourself an intense. It is not necessary to devote a lot of strength or hope for serious results - even just a few art therapy diversifies life and help distract from especially routine moments.
  5. At the end of each day, mark 2-3 of your success - it teaches to analyze your own actions and clearly confirms that every day you become better than yesterday, and this is the main landmark for a person.

Read more

Here you immediately need to do several reservations: yes, absolutely any reading will benefit. But for a person on the path of self-improvement, several types of books can be distinguished, which are needed first.


Visualization

When we talk about self-development methods, this one is one of the classic and most important, but from among the most difficult. The essence is that you need to present the goal in detail to which you strive. Representing as often as possible or even print its image - it will form an understanding of how to come to it, strengthen faith in your strength and at its achievability. But at the same time, the visualization requires honestly ask himself a question: how do we want to become a year? Five years? Ten? Such long-term planning is not only unable to everyone - often it sometimes terrifies, because 5 years - the term is huge, how can I plan it? And if the force majeure happens? And if it turns out that the basis of the planning creamed the error and 5 years will be wondering? And if the goal is not achieved? What if?..

But it is important to understand that any goal can be achieved and that anyone is capable of everything. We need only a self-development system in which no element is forgotten, and then gradually doubts will go away, and in their place will appear in their forces.

Lighten the Time Management

Time management, or time management, is not just a skill to carve out extra 5 minutes on a cup of coffee, it is more. After all, after reading the various advice on improving life, it is often a disappointed answer "no time" for this time "and the refusal to deal with themselves.

But the art of time management will allow you to look at your routine of the day like a clogged hard drive in a computer or a mess on the desktop. It is worth removing unnecessary and logically shifting things, and you will become clear to see your goals, both in short and in long-term periods, and how to achieve them, what to do for self-development and when. For example, take the same books: a familiar situation when you read once, except for public transport, and at home for this too much? Answer - audiobooks. Combine different things in one, release a useful time. You really will be easier to breathe.

Other ways of self-development

  1. Get out sports. Later it will be mentioned in more detail, but it should be clear that other aspects of the individual also depend on physical development.
  2. Find a hobby. Perhaps it is not even enough strong word. Find a new lesson. And then one more. And further. This is a stereotype that serious people are devoted to one case all their life, because it is strange to be a master in one when you can master on a good level by many things. Learn to play the Hawaiian guitar, jump from the tower, sculpt the pots, shoot onion - Learn and throw, learn from a new one. All of these are different methods of self-development, and all this new facets of your rich inner world.
  3. Get out of the house. Namely, literally exit the comfort zone, devote yourself an emotional shake, open new places and routes, see the new and update it yourself. This general advice includes several minutes:
    • travel in neighboring cities or other people's countries;
    • visit exhibitions, museums, concerts;
    • just walk through the streets in good weather.
  4. Chat more with people, and better with those who want to be similar to. Sometimes there are radical tips, for example, get rid of those who pull you down or simply far from your role models. But before such actions, it is necessary to remember that every person can teach something, if only we are talking about extreme cases. In general, social activity is useful in a variety of aspects. You need to get acquainted more, more actively communicate in social networks, find not only new acquaintances, but also whole circles and communities, where you can become a permanent and adopted participant.

Exercises for self-development

There are various exercises for self-development, which gradually help you gain strength and energy for more serious actions or at least keep the existing form. After all, to argue and reflect on what needs to be done is easy, but to realize reflections to life - the question is different. To begin with, the actions of a small scale will not interfere, which nevertheless help to teach themselves to a new order and minimal discipline. Even if the case does not reach the first time to truly serious actions, these exercises will benefit and themselves. In the end, the path in a thousand lee begins from the first step - and the path of self-development too.

  1. Every evening, 5-10 minutes devote a useful case (except for diary). Whatever - pair of squats, an interesting note or head of the book, any exercise. The main thing is to create a similar habit.
  2. Hover at home order.
  3. Learn to some funny little things - roll a coin on the knuckles of fingers, ride on a single bike, play on Pan Flute.
  4. Write yourself at the camera. It does not hurt and just look at your natural behavior on foreign video recordings from any events. Take a look at yourself - this is not the same thing that look in the mirror. Ask yourself, I would like to communicate with this person, and in the possible case the seizure of hostility will stop and wisely decide that it would advise to fix this to a stranger.
  5. Train your memory - there are many exercises for this. It can be a training of visual memory - an attempt with closed eyes to restore in the imagination in the smallest details just seen landscape, audio memory - reading out loud every day for 10-15 minutes.
  6. Before wake up. Every day put alarm clock for 1 minute before.

There are a lot of similar useful small activity, and all of them gradually bring the person to self-confidence.

Self-development men

Separately, we will pay attention to how to improve yourself to men and women, because men and women differ in the characteristics, desires, affections and many other things. However, their self-development methods often converge.

The desire for the image of the minor, the defender, attractive handsome - that's what the man's self-development suggests. Therefore, it is clear that men are primarily recommended to pay attention to the development of the individual. There are many options for this, such as sports. And in fact, banalities and clichés are therefore becoming banalities and clichés that they are true and work. And simply posting for 3 months in the gym, already after this small period you can amaze how the person will change strongly. And you spend a small amount of money and just a few hours a week. It is not so difficult at all, you just need to have a really sincere desire for self-development.

But this simple case will immediately give a visible result. This is an instant plus to appearance: if before that you did not play sports, then you will be surprised how it starts to pass the growth of biceps, the manifestation of the relief. It is worth starting, and then everything will be developed by inertia: thoughts on the right diet, tightening training, courses of martial arts will appear in the head. This is a plus to discipline: in the end, it is worth overcome several times in the morning laziness and create a new habit, how the respect for yourself will increase, faith will appear in their strength.

Self-development for women

Among the important aspects that must be emphasized in the case of self-development for women, the first, perhaps, are independent and sensuality.

Despite the positive processes occurring in the world, often women still do not believe in the depths of the soul in their self-sufficiency and independence either prefer to think that specifically they do not have the need for these qualities. But after all, it is enough to feel yourself an independent woman how other qualities will change for the better, and life around. Often, problems in this respect are connected with the same destructive fear of the relationship between society, the fear that it expects the following roles.

And such a question, as the ability to radiate sensuality and sexuality, attracting a view of men, more complicated. It may even seem esoteric, and therefore there are a lot of a mystical sense technician: various Taoist, Old Indian techniques, all sorts of training "Muscles of Love". You can find textbooks in body tongue, such as drawing a look of a triangle on the face of the interlocutor. However, more affordable and inexpensive options are a fitness occupation, experiments with appearance, as well as elementary care. One of the main problems of women who are stiguously looking for someone who loves them is that they themselves do not like themselves and see the shortcomings. Spiritual self-improvement, reading textbooks on psychology - this is what will be a faithful assistant in managing feelings. They may solve the problem and simple ways of self-development higher - it is enough to find an interesting hobby and show social activity, and the woman will immediately become interesting to any interlocutor. In addition, she will find a new circle of communication, which will also bring it closer to achieving the goal if this goal is to find a soul mate.

Another interesting way, how to self-develop, which is equally suitable for both men and women, dance classes. And again it can be surprised how many gives this, at first glance, an ordinary thought: in addition to strengthening the physical form, and the sensuality and grace of communication in communication and movement will increase, the social skills will increase, barriers will disappear when communicating with the opposite sex, as in this case, So in the future, because the dance language is universal for many cases of life.

Self-development tips for women include the same category as tips on achieving masculinity for men. In fact, if desired, both a woman can with success and benefit to themselves to engage in any sport and a man - to attend culinary courses. It is always important to remember that first of all a person must rely on his views that it is good or harmful to him, what its shortcomings do not require cardinal corrections, what dream to exercise. Whenever you should turn to the opinion of the surrounding or alleged requirements of any social role as any self-development techniques will work for false goals and behave in a dead end, granting instead of happiness only disappointment.

Why start self-improvement?

The answer to the question where to start self-improvement is strikingly simple, because all this time you knew him and ourselves. Yes, you will really help useful resources about human self-development, courses, textbooks and more. But all this comes later. Then why start? Close your eyes. Breathe deeply and exhale. And tell me to be honest, what you want to become better. Open your eyes. Start. The rest will attach itself. In reality, this is the entire self-development technology.

Before you a new road, and she calls.

I took the first attempts to outline your desires on the spheres of life in 2011 (I keep all my diaries and records since 1998 - so I have a broadcast and can clearly trace these things ;-)) In 2014, I have already put specific goals for self-development - Specifically and systemically, in each sphere. And since 2014, I put goals every year in all areas - and that is why.

2014 The year has become a turning point for me. For 12 months: I started traveling and visited in three countries (Israel, Crete, Germany), studied in two international schools, learned another language, received the driver's license, the position of the head at work, met a man's dream, married and under the new The year learned that we will have a kid! Just the crazy year was! And what is interesting - these all changes occurred in accordance with the goals I put in December 2013.

This is how my life has changed since 2011 on the spheres:

Life sphere

My situation in:

2011 2013 2014 2019
Self-realization, career growth Study in graduate school. Work on the dissertation is sluggish.I work librarian. She defended her thesis, received a diploma of the candidate of science.Moved to the scientific department. Received 2 certificates in international schools, learned more than 1 language. Became the head of the Scientific Department.He learned how to create sites, opened his blog and online project.

I left the hired work - launched online business.

Personal growth and spiritual development Low self-esteem, uncertainty, depression, hysterics, attacks of loneliness and apathy.

No strength to learn and work.

It became more organized - learned to work quickly and on time. Solitude and apathy attacks continue.Detected negative settings and start to eliminate them.

He studied accepting himself and life situations.

Finally felt sufficient, necessary, happy, beloved)

I feel a happy man.

I continue to work on the inner harmony, an increase in personal effectiveness and personal balance on the spheres of life.

Finance (material prosperous)Parents helpI work for the minimum salary.Received the desired salary. I live in comfort)I work for yourself, opened my decent income)
Relaxation (Leisure, Travel)Houses in front of computerHouses in front of a TV and with a phone

Purpose: start traveling and see the world

Visited in Israel, in Crete, Germany.Visited Turkey, Egypt, Spain.

Interesting leisure and games with family on weekends

Love (relationship with a man). I am 24: there is no relationship.I am 26: the relationship does not add up, there are no "those" men. Went a cat.I'm 27: I got acquainted with a man - we got married in the same year)Happy wife - love and loved) pump out our relationship, go on dates). Environmentally solving arising contradictions (well, how without them?!)
House and S.eMIA I live on the 7th year in the student hostel. Parents in another city.I live alone in a removable 1-Comnta apartment.Moved to a spacious apartment in the city center.I am happy mom, wife, hostess)

Relationship with a big family (parents, brother) - harmonious)

Health (nutrition, sport, self-passing) Overweight, lack of sports and regular careSudden fainting + bad habits (smoking, alcohol). Problems with vessels.Health has improved, got rid of bad habits. Normalized the state of the vessels.I feel healthy and energetic.

I keep under control of the state of health.

After giving birth, she finally got rid of an outflow (after 8 years!) 4 years hold in my ideal weight)

Communication / Surroundings / Friends 1-2 girlfriends1-2 girlfriends1-2 girlfriendsMany girlfriends and like-minded people in my city and around the world.
Hobbies and hobbies AbsentAbsentPeeking complex cakes and disasters, grow flowersI'm skiing. Rise. Grow flowers. On holidays ace cakes)

My example of self-development is not about "successful success", not about luck and winning the lottery) My story about how to work on a systemically and gradually change all the life spheres, to achieve your goals and exercise your desires: Whether it is a meeting of your loved one, raising For work, traveling the world or change.

And in this article I will share with you not only by my example of self-development - and specific tools and technicians tested on personal experience.

1. Where to start self-development: ways, ways, principles, stages.

"Self-development" - how often now we hear this word ... But what is included in this concept?

In fact, each person puts out its meaning in the concept of "self-development" - depending on what he worries him and what he feels the need to pump himself.

But still I will try to give a universal digital to the term "self-development" and based on it to offer you a plan, directions and stages for self-development.

Self-development is the development of a person in all life spheres and evolutionary gradual growth, as a result of which the person "sees and understands" more and accordingly improves the quality of his life in all respects.

Very often, "self-development" is identified with "personal growth", but this is not the same thing.

Personal growth is one of the life areas (all of them 9), in which self-development is being conducted. Personal growth is a pumping personality: personal qualities, character, developing positive qualities, fighting bad habits, work with convictions and installations. Other tasks of self-development are distributed over another 8 spheres.

Let's remember the main 9 life spheres - This will be the main directions for self-development:

  1. Personal growth and spiritual development
  2. Self-realization, career growth
  3. Health (Food, Sport, Beauty, Out Of Care)
  4. Love, relationships.
  5. House and family (children, relatives)
  6. Communication / Surroundings / Friends
  7. Finance and material well-being
  8. Recreation / Leisure / Travel
  9. Hobbies and hobbies

I.e personal growth is one of the eight directions for self-development, but not its synonym.


Let me take a few explanations on the spheres. Surely, you noticed that "Love and relationship" and "family" are 2 different areas in my scheme. This, of course, does not mean that you need to deal with the side of the family)) But this call to pay special attention to my husband and relationship with him - to allocate time only for two, leave the traditional roles "Mom" and "Dad" and to be just a man And a woman who is sincerely interested in each other, go on dates and interesting events. I already wrote special articles in the blog and continue to develop this topic - for example, etc.)

How to make a personal self-development plan: Step-by-step instructions

In order to start self-development, you first need to answer a number of questions:

  • In what direction do I want to develop?
  • What do I want?
  • What am I dreaming about?

Step 1 We prescribe a personal family life formula

I suggest group dreams for specific areasthat we marked above.

Why do I offer 9 spheres? It is such a set of spheres and evenly filling them - this is the key to a happy successful life. Remove one of these areas - and life will be incomplete. Many women make a mistake, making bets on one or two spheres and neglecting the others - life must be balanced and filled in all areas.

Do you think, will there be a completely happy housewife, who put the cross on his abilities and talents that are hiding inside and break out?

Whether the desperate careerist will be completely happy, which works a lot, goes on a business trip, but in the evenings returns to an empty cold apartment and does not know the simple human heat, sincere hugs, the joy of motherhood? ...

Of course, each woman has its own way, their choice, priorities and values. But personally I was both in that and the role, so I can say for sure that gained happiness when learned combine career and love, self-realization and family and all other spheres.

Each sphere is a vital support and the basis of personality stability. If 1 sphere gives a failure - a person supports all the others and it can survive in difficult periods.

At the same time, admit: it is impossible to evenly develop all 9 spheres and give them the same amount of time. And is it necessary? For example, for the spheres of "Hobby", "friends" is enough to allocate 1-2 hours a week, unlike the sphere "Family", which requires a lot of our attention every day (especially when children appear) you need to give time every day. The "Health" sphere is though priority, but does not require daily hikes to the doctor, if everything is in order of health - it is important to pass some scheduled inspections 1 time per year / six months, get rid of bad habits and introduce useful useful. Do you need to highlight time? Not much, but it is necessary to allocate it - and specifically to register that you will do for the sphere "Health (food, sports, beauty, care for themselves))

In any case you need expand the vital areas of priorities of importance for you - And then it will become clear what to pay attention to the first of all, what you can not forget and maintain as an important for you. Otherwise, it often turns out that we lose sight of some very important things - the same health, family relationship, communication with friends, and then this sphere gives a failure and destroys life ...

I have a special planner in which you can arrange priorities for life spheres - planner to determine the formula of the dream. But the main function is to write down your dreams in spheres: So you create a picture of the lifestyle you want to create, about which you dream and to which go). To download such a "Dream Life Formula" planner in Word (this is one page in the form of a filling plate) - Click on the file name

  • At the same stage you can connect visualization : Create a "card wish" - a collage with beautiful pictures that you want to see in the future life, put the appropriate screensaver on the phone or computer screen - a picture from your dreams. It works, verified personally.
  • Use also affirmations - Positive statements whose repeats helps to tune in to the desired wave, create a positive attitude. Only please do not repeat someone's affirmations taken from the Internet. For you, your affirmations will be best working for you - compressed under your goals. How to make personal affirmations I wrote in this article

When the planner "Formula of the Life of the Dream" is filled - Consider your self-development plan is practically ready.

It remains to add specifics and register action plan.

Go to the next stage planning . Only with a clear plan, you will understand what to do and how to act on the way to your dreams, desires and goals.


Step 2. Compile a plan of self-development for the year

If the planner "The Life Formula of the Dream" is filled - it means you have a clear idea what you want.

Now make up Self-development plan on thd - put specific goals in spheres per year in accordance with our dreams.

Download and fill in the "My Goals per year on the spheres" (The load in PDF format will start automatically after clicking on the file name)

Print the planner - write down your dreams in the corresponding speakers. What is important in this planner - in special columns to write specific steps and put the timing.

For example, my goal for a year is to start traveling. What specific steps can I take on this path? Arrange a passport, write a list of countries in which I want to subscribe to public public messages, monitor housing prices, for example (on how to plan a trip - I wrote in detail B). And the setting of the goal "Start Traveling" will make me open for all opportunities to travel - I will strive to get into a working business trip, an international school or conference.

Setting the goal in the other sphere makes you see us to implement it, and not to look for excuses "Why it is impossible."

I wrote a lot about the setting of goals for the yearNow I will stay at the most important points.

So, important rules when setting goals for the year:

1. TOan exemplary goal should be achievable, concrete and have clear terms. - It is for this purpose that in my planner for the year there are appropriate columns, where you need to paint your goals for specific steps and put deadlines for their implementation. This is a foundation in the formulation of goals and without it - nowhere.

Everyone has their own threshold "real and achievable", of course, and this our inner ceiling rests on convictions and installations - with this, of course, you also need to work, but this is another story.

2. Do not spray! Do not put too much goals in each sphere - 1-2, a maximum of 3 goals for each sphere will be enough. I confess, for me, this sin, I want to have time as possible: I put a lot of goals, and then chase for them all year. Yes, so you can live - but not long)) year or two to a maximum of three. Then there comes exhaustion, apathy and personal crises. So it is better less targets, slower growth - but more high-quality, pleasure, with akin to alignment.

In fact, my most successful plan contained one specific goal in each sphere - that is, 9 goals per year.

9 Annual goals achieved in each sphere is a coup in life.

3. Put goals in a good mood and with confidence that everything will work out. It is necessary to work on your goals in the optimal condition - when you have rested, full of energy and are in a good mood - this is true, important! Somehow I neglected this rule and set the goals of the tired of "squeezed lemon" - and the goals turned out to be the same: ticks stretched out of themselves, not particularly inspiring and not motivating ... Therefore, it is better to allocate your time in a relaxed atmosphere, pour tea / coffee a cup And calmly immerse yourself for an hour or another in the design of your future.

4. Internal readiness for goals. When you put goals - it is important to feel that you have the strength and energy to achieve them, that you are ready to open the doors and let change in your life! Many put their goals - and at the same time, as it were, it is possible that this is possible for them, really and even afraid of change, are not sure that they need it ... So the task is to put such "necessary goals" - if you are sure to 100 % that you need it, you deserve it.

5. Pour confidence and let yourself have what you really dream about. Ask yourself a question "What do I deserve?!"

I brought a lot of discoveries in my time in my time and gave the courage to put goals and dreams, from which my knees trembled. But I knew exactly what I deserve it - and even thought

"Why is I still not?! Already should be so obvious that I deserve it! "))

This is such wild confidence that you will have everything you deserve, wonders are creating !!! All my goals were then achieved - with something, the easiest way))

In more detail about the setting of goals for the year I wrote here:

Step 3. We divide targets per year for concrete steps

When you are ready a clear step-by-step plan of self-development - We divide annual goals in the quarters and months.

Opposite each goal, suck when you are going to work on it. It is impossible to run to all annual goals at the same time - but it is possible to move gradually and take turns to each: because the year there are as many as 12 months.

The task of this stage of working with goals is to distribute goals for the seasons and outline what goals it is better to work in the summer, what - in winter, in the fall, in the spring.

Planner in quarters can be downloaded here

And every month make up self-development plan for a month. In my blog you will find special planner for every month - With calendar, tables "Personal balance, List to do, Wish List.

I guarantee: if you every month make a plan on such a scheme and stick to it - you will achieve large results, while maintaining a balance in all life spheres.

Every month I publish a new bookner on a blog for working on myself and its goals. Leave your email address - if you want to receive such planners for every month.

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