Who lay in the clinic with the problem of loneliness. Loneliness in modern life is a natural reaction to the development of society? The theme of the loneliness of the elderly in literary works

Accompanied by increasing temperature. In turn, it causes panic from parents. Especially if the child is still very small. Temperature may increase even in case of changes in weather, fatigue or stress. Before giving him antipyretic drugs or apply other ways to knocking down degrees, it is necessary to determine the cause of the heat. In some cases, you need to immediately call a doctor.

What is the normal temperature of the child

In adults, the body temperature is considered to be 36.6 ° C. Unlike, they have a normal temperature in children ranging from 36-37 ° C. Breast children have an increased temperature by an average of 0.3-0.4 ° C. During the first three months of life, the body temperature of the kid depends on the external environment, from sleeping a child. Daily oscillation within 0.6 ° C is considered optimal. For older children, there should not be exceeded 1 ° C for a day. Up to 5 years, a child can increase the temperature to 37 ° C. In the absence of cough and cold, this is not considered a deviation from the norm. Emerriate it in the morning after the child woke up, a little half a bed. Most likely everything will be normal.

Temperature measurement is carried out using thermometers. They are mercury, electronic and infrared.

Mercual thermometers are more accurate. The measurement error is 0.1 degrees. The measurement is made in the axillary depression for 7 minutes or the rectum for 5 minutes. This thermometer is dangerous in that it contains mercury and can be broken or crushed.

Electronic are easy to handle. The temperature is measured in the mouth, armpit or rectum. After 3 minutes, the degrees will show the result. After the measurement, a beep sounds. For infants for sale electronic thermometers in the form of nipples. After 4 minutes, such a thermometer will show the body temperature of the kid. The error of such a thermometer is much larger than mercury: up to 1 degree.

The infrared thermometer is non-contact and ear. An ear thermometer is easy to measure the temperature. Measurement time 5 seconds. But it has a fairly high price. The contactless shows the temperature when it is applied to the skin. Do not have high accuracy. With it, it is easy to control the temperature fluctuations.

Causes of high temperature in a child

In the human brain, there is a center responsible for thermoregulation. With its irritation, heat transfer decreases. An increase in temperature is a protective reaction of the body.

In case of infections, bacteria fall into the body, which multiply and distinguish toxic substances. Blood cells - leukocytes - struggle with harmful bacteria. When the temperature jumps up to 39.5 ° C slows down the reproduction of microorganisms. With enhanced breeding of the virus, a child holds a high temperature.

If there is no infection in the body, immune reactions may be by the occasion caused by fever. For example: injuries, burns, allergic diseases, psychological disorders.

Children easily overheat in hot weather, which can provoke an increase in temperature. In the infants, overheating often happens because of the wondering when she is placed to sleep. When overheating, the baby becomes a capricious or becomes sluggish. With hot weather, the child should be moved to the shadow. Sit and give more drinking. Watch with water. Within an hour, the temperature should decrease without the use of drugs.

The cause of fever can come. At the same time, the testimony of the thermometer does not exceed 38 ° C. The child is all dragging in the mouth, the gums are inflamed. 1-3 days after the appearance of the tooth, the temperature falls.

Breasts have parents to explore his throat. He himself can not explain what he worries him. Therefore, heat without expressed symptoms can be observed with several diseases.

Is it possible to shoot down the child's temperature

In fever, the protective forces of the body are activated. The process of restoring tissues is accelerated. At temperatures above 37 ° C, the body struggles with infection and knocking it down. The heat is good. In this case, the organism produces interferon. He kills microbes. On the second or third day of the disease, the amount of interferon in the blood is maximum. If even with a small heat, the parents gave the baby to the antipyretic, the disease lasts longer. Recovery occurs somewhere on the seventh day.

The organisms in children are different. In some cases, the kids do not even tolerate a small temperature increase. If at high temperatures the child is calmly played, then it is not worth a particularly worried. When changing the behavior of the baby when he is discomfort during a fever, capricious, it is worth consulting a doctor. Some children may arise cramps. With heart disease, kidneys, lung fever can provoke deterioration in these organs. In this case, one should not be guided by the general recommendations, but to listen to the advice of the doctor.

What temperature to shoot down in a child

Some parents sufficiently touch the lips to the babe of the babe to understand that the child has a fever. A slight temperature increase does not mean a light cold. With inflammation of the lungs, the temperature may not exceed 38 ° C, and with ORVI rise to 40 ° C. In any case, you should call the doctor to clarify the diagnosis. If there is more than 38.5 ° C on the thermometer, start shooting down the heat, without waiting for the doctor. In the infants to three months, the temperature is knocked up to 38 ° C.

Do not bother your child. He must have heat transfer. The room should not be too hot. It is better to ventilate the room. The child should give abundant drink to avoid blood thickening and cause sweating.

Dry mouth, rejection of food, strong crying means that the antipyretic.

How to bring down the temperature of the child

When a child has a fever, baby needs to be filled with fluid loss. Along with urine, pathogenic microbes come out. Warm water should be given every half hour by half a cup. If the kid refuses to drink water, then it can be replaced with a decoction of rosehip, cranberry mesom.

Pour your child with raspberry tea. It has an antipyretic effect.
Dress down light clothes. If there is chills, then cover with a thin blanket. It follows in time to change the baby if it sweats.
Dog batteries so that the air becomes cooler. At the same time, the extra heat during inhalation will be spent on air warming.
Give a child medicine or take advantage of folk methods.

Temperature preparations for children

To knock down the temperature, the doctors advise apply candles, suspensions or pills. The choice of the drug depends on the age of the baby. The smallest candles are prescribed. They are convenient to use. Since 3 months of age, candles "Cefekon" or "Efferoralgan" are used. Older children are advised to use suspensions. They possess a sweet taste. Most effective "Ibufen", Panadol, Paracetamol and Efferoralgangan. Before buying in a pharmacy, be sure to tell the age of the baby.

It should be remembered that until the age of 12-year-old, the use of acetylsalicylic acid is contraindicated. When applied to the specified age, the development of the Reia syndrome may be provoked. At the same time, the lesion of the liver and the brain occurs.

Antipyretic give 2-3 times a day and no more than 3 days in a row. Before accepting the medicine, you should read the instructions. Get acquainted with the composition and side effects. It is impossible to use several drugs at the same time.

With the development of fever with spasm of skin vessels (pale, cold brushes and feet, skin marble) After taking the antipyretic, it is necessary to rub the skin before reddening and urgently cause a doctor.

Bring down the temperature in the child by folk remedies

When the antipyretic action has not yet come, other methods should be used to knock down the heat. In this case, wiping well helps. It should be remembered that children under the year of wiping are contraindicated.

When using vodka, it is bred by water in proportion 1: 1. Wrapped in a solution with a cloth wipe the skin of the skin. Special attention should be paid to the axillary pots, footsteps, palms and back side knee.

Washing with vinegar also helps reduce the heat of the crumbs. Water with vinegar should have a slightly sour taste. Do not apply acetic essence for the preparation of the solution.

With the pallor of the skin, cold wiping limbs only worsen the situation.

Extreme measure at a very high temperature - the use of a lithic mixture. In this case, an injection is done intramuscularly. The mixture includes analgin, "DIMEDROL" and "PAPAVERIN" in proportions 1: 1: 1.

To reduce intoxication at high temperature, the cleaning enema of 1 teaspoon of soda, divorced in a glass of water, can be introduced to 50 ml of soda solution with semi-annual babies, after half a year to one and a half years to 100 ml, after 2 years - up to 200 ml.

In no case cannot be used steam inhalation, hot compresses. From this temperature will only increase.

If the temperature is not shot down in any ways, urgently call ambulance.

Temperature increase - one of the first signs large number Diseases. We are accustomed to facing the temperature increase mainly in the cold season, however temperature in a child in summer - Not such a rare phenomenon. Why does a child have a temperature in the summer?

The risk of getting sick, angina or pharyngitis in the summer is not much lower than at any other time of the year. In the summer, the immunity of the child will not be high by itself: the immune system of the child needs to be strengthenedOtherwise, he risks get sick no matter what the weather is on the street.

In the summer enough just to transfer: Long swimming in water bodies, cold drinks, ice cream, air conditioners - all this can lead to respiratory diseases that are accompanied by increasing temperature. Also in the summer, a child can become infected with almost any infection, from measles to windmill, and any infection is accompanied by an increased temperature.

Often children are ill in the first days in the resortWhen all the forces of the body are aimed at acclimatization, and the organism is no longer able to fight the virus. The risk of getting rising, if the climate in the resort is different from the one to which the child is accustomed to home. Therefore, young children are better not to carry into exotic countries.

If the elevated temperature in the child is due to the infection, it is necessary to follow: a subfebrile temperature cannot be shot down, and it is necessary to use to knock down high temperatures only special medicines intended for children.

For prevention of infectious diseases in the summer It is necessary to ensure that the child does not bother for too long in the reservoirs. Do not give the child to drink ice drinks (only cool), make sure that it does not abuse ice cream. It is necessary on the weather: not too easy, but it should not be bought.

However, the increase in temperature in a child in summer can be a sign of not only infection that has struck the body due to hypothermia, but also the exact opposite problem - overheating and even thermal impact. Overheating and a thermal strike in a child can be accompanied not only to increasing the temperature, but also to redness of the skin, abundant sweating, headache, lethargy, drowsiness, nausea, vomiting.

In this case, you need to urgently provide a child: to transfer it to the shadow, remove excess clothes, give abundant drink (if a child is conscious), wash the cool water or make a cool compress. With loss of consciousness, you need to give a sniffing with a vat, moistened with the ammonia. And do not forget to call "ambulance"!

To avoid overheating and the following thermal impact, you need to wear a child in light clothes from natural fabrics, also a child needs a headdress. You should also take water with you for a walk and regularly shoot a child - it will help to avoid dehydration. The child should not be in the open sun during the day (approximately from 11 am to 5 pm), at this time it is better to play the shadow.

Also increased temperature may be a sign of poisoning or intestinal infectionIt is not uncommon: swimming in dirty water bodies, the use of raw water or poorly washed vegetables and fruits - all this can lead to problems with the gastrointestinal tract. In this case, the increase in temperature will be accompanied by pain in the abdomen, lethargy and weakness, liquid chair, vomiting. In this case, it is necessary to urgently call a doctor: it is enough to distinguish the usual food poisoning from acute intestinal infection. As long as the doctor goes, ensure the child peace and abundant drink to fill the loss of the fluid. To reduce the temperature, it is possible to use rubbing with alcohol with alcohol.

So, if in the summer your child jumped the temperature, the reasons may be different. If the temperature is below 38.5 degrees, it is not necessary to knock it down. If above - use antipyretic agents designed specifically for children, and strictly follow the dosage. In any case, you need to call a doctor: He will definitely determine the reason for increasing the temperature in the child and prescribe the appropriate treatment. But it is impossible to engage in self-medication.

What role does loneliness play in a person's life? Is it necessary for personal development? It is these questions that occur when reading the text of the modern Russian Prosaik S. M. Gandalovsky.

Revealing the problem of the role of loneliness in a person's life, the author relies on his own reasoning and bright life examples. Demonstrating the dual nature of loneliness and emphasizing that the sense of loneliness is a relatively young emotion, the writer leads many examples. On the one hand, loneliness is a big attack, which is indicated by many phraseologists and expressions: "one as finist", "Mother is a single", "single camera".

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On the other hand, loneliness can be perceived and as good. Privacy contributes to the formation of a person, the development of poetry, which is "Uznitsa native speech"Since the translation loses its wonderful harmony, such as Pushkin.

I will try to prove the loyalty of your position by contacting the poem A. S. Pushkin "Poet". It shows the dual nature of the lyrics. While it does not require "to the sacred victim of Apollo", the poet is the most insignificant of all mortals on Earth. But when Divine Lira calls him, he runs from people to the desert, seeks to solitude.

We give another literary argument. In the novel by A. S. Pushkin "Evgeny Onegin" Tatiana Larina "Dick, sad, silent, like Lan Forest fearful," she loves to wander among the dubbing and fields, "warn the dawn of the sunrise", read French novels, dream of love. Loneliness developed a high, noble spiritually developed personality, able to "think and suffer." But still in some minute loneliness became unbearable for it. Her soul "waited ... someone." "Imagine: I am alone here, no one understands me," Tatiana writes in his letter - recognition and confession to Onegin.

We came to the conclusion that, on the one hand, loneliness makes it suffer, look for a relative soul, and on the other hand, privacy - prerequisite For the development of the creative man began.

Updated: 2017-12-08

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In ancient times, the survival rate of a person depended on that one he hunts on the roots or with a group - on Mammoth. Loneliness for defenseless primitive rammer meant the ambulance, and in our genetic memory, this knowledge was securely stored for centuries. And in the tenth, and in the twentieth century, a long lack of contacts were perceived by people as stress, punishment and a situation of increased danger: what if the bear attacks or break the light bulb in the toilet, and next to anyone? So why, having spoiled on the laws of nature, now we are all hotter you dream about vacation on a single submarine?

Social loneliness

Every morning on the way to work you meet hundreds of fellow citizens. If suddenly you will venture to consider them, you probably won't get any pleasure. Persons near those surrounding in these bright hours, as a rule, as if people endured in another galaxy, and creatures that hung on the handrails is only their weak reflection. Around the alienated strangers. Everywhere - a poorly dressed citizens without special will accept. Each second is trying not to remove. Where did they come from that they had on the mind, if someone had a bucket of hydrochloric acid, unknown even Rosstat.

The first defensive reaction of any living being in big city - learn to disguise, hide emotions; The most important task is to make a face brick. Be sure, in a crowd, which Elzit along the tram, and you look no better: you don't look into the eyes, you also avoid touching, just hiding yourself for headphones or book (about it and not only - in the article "Personal Space" ). Specialists call a similar behavior of the "Protective Exchange". They also noticed one of his sad feature: even having flowning on the desired station, residents of megacities still do not hurry to seek communication. Well, if you smile in the mirror, and the rest is again brick, without exceptions for unfortunate orphans.

What is surprising, the family is also not a panacea from loneliness. Many modern couples have a custom watching TVs in different rooms, a shopping list is discussed by mail, and it's good if the bed is stacked without headphones or tablets. Let's truth in the monitor: we learned to talk for souls, especially with geographically close people.. For some reason, it is easier to post a story about your day in the Internet community with tens of thousands of readers than to tell the same person who is near drinking tea. It is easier to put "like" the dress for the former classmate from Vladivostok than to make a compliment to a colleague at the next table. It is easier to go on, close and watch the world across the prism of your computer, than to ask how are you, a neighbor in the staircase.

Although all this is not surprising. The Internet gives us an illusion that we know well people who write something in social networks and laid bad photos, and faith in the fact that they are in the case of what will come to the funeral. The Internet and in relationships it helps us: before you would have to live with a person life and only then find out that he is afraid of ferrets, now the diagnoses can be put in a glimpse of the profile.

Inner loneliness

Oddly enough, the sharper is loneliness is felt at the moments when we are surrounded by people. It can be overtaken in a crowded office, on his own anniversary with a lot of guests and even during sex, especially if the partner looks at the TV.

Psychologists who took up this phenomenon, agreed: loneliness is primarily due to the experience of a man of cut-off from the community of people, stories, family, nature, culture. Life in big cities is too diverse so that we can easily find our flock and record yourself, say, in goths. (Despite the fact that the gloomy guys dressed in black, quite a lot, they are most complaining about incomprehension and loneliness, walking at nights around the cemetery.) Circle full of bright individualities, although everything is secret (at least at the level of the instinct) dream to join the group of such same as he himself.

However, feel your loneliness and not have a nearby person who can be told about his problems - not the same thing. Many introverts, for example, are quite satisfied, occasionally throwing a couple of words with three familiar from a circle of needlework. Meanwhile, the findings of the professor of the University of Chicago University of John Kachoppo, the President of Social Neurobiology Society, published in the SCIENCE journal, will not please lovers of proud loneliness. He summarized the results of 150 medical research and found out that lonely people are more often susceptible to colds, suffer from sleep disorders, high pressure and problems with vessels than their communicable fellow.

The problem of citizens of suffering - dissatisfaction in communication with people important for them. The baby is alone if he lacks tenderness from the mother, teenagers are looking for recognition exclusively from peers on skateboards, the old woman can be happy only on a bench with guns.

Loneliness due to rivalry

There is still a reason that prevents us, hugging, rejoice in unity with people, like the fans of a football team. The famous American psychologist Rollo Mei wrote about this, arguing that the main value of our culture is nothing more than success in the social competition. People never get tired of finding out, who has the higher salary, who has more boots and who have more fans.

At the same time, the value of the failure is so large that the sense of own value directly depends on success or failure. By participating in the race, you always oppose yourself the rest, and this is characteristic: other people's failures are perceived for some reason as their own luck. Of course, you can now wash your head, denying your involvement in the party on the death of the chief. But the fact remains a fact: instead of crying on the shoulder at a friend on the topic "of this scoundrel", you will prefer to stay at home and write to Facebook about your upcoming increase. Let not rejoice there.

Alone is to blame and you

In addition to social reasons, there are other culprits in our loneliness - we ourselves. Some psychologists believe that a person conducting a weekend in touching solitude with a TV and pizza is characteristic of the discrepancy between the three "I": how he sees himself, as he would like to become, and how others perceive it.

Here, let's say, the fiance of low self-esteem. For a couple of times at a party, she did not understand the anecdote - and decided that now she was not to wash the stamp "Stupil". At the next banquet, she walked with a serious face covered by secret knowledge. I had to go home alone: \u200b\u200bit's not that it was not in honor of it to be important, just from the side she looked like a lady that hates humanity. Sincere interest in other people, the feeling of the right to misses, awareness that you are not worse than others, - that's what will save any girl from old age in a deserted slag on the edge of the desert.

How to get rid of loneliness

No matter how paradoxically, to get rid of loneliness, you need determine your unique sides. To begin with - to understand who you are, from where you are uniqueWhat are you striving for what you value, what are you afraid of? Figured out? (Test: "Who am I" to help you.) Having this list at the heart, it is much easier to take the first step towards people.

In the West, group therapies are becoming increasingly popular, which are designed to help people learn to express themselves and normally communicate at least at home, let's say, replacing the words "pass the salt" on "I cried today and missed you." It is better, however, to go to such trainings at once to the whole family, so that no one from surprise has walked white death on the tablecloth.

Do not be afraid of loneliness

Loneliness is allowed to be afraid. Women - especially. Girls without a permanent boyfriend attribute to the incessant PMS; Unmarried bosses - sadistic boroughness; On other "unpaired" hanging a gloomy label "She did not work out." It seems to us on the family it is written to pushed near the home of the hearth surrounded by little naked children.

But maybe you did not notice, but in the yard of the XXI century. And futurologists, in contrast to your aunt from big glooms, perfectly understand why you especially do not get married. This in agrarian times, it was vital every year to give birth to children and immediately send them to work in the field. In the industrial era, the "nuclear family" was the most convenient - dad, mother and one child. Now residents of megacols live in a post-industrial society, with a huge number of subcultures and styles of life; And the family must completely modify.

People of non-traditional orientation and adopted by them eight couples twins - a great, triple union of two men and hermaphrodite - why not? Against this diversity, someone may seem attractive and the ancient Union of Men and Women - so the flag to them in the wedding cake. And, by the way, a family of one person is a way of life that arranges many and often finds devilish comfortable. Let me meet only a comforting salad in the refrigerator, well, well. Let's call your state existential solitude. Loneliness is special form experiences and awareness of yourself; Without it can not be creativity.

For now, you have not gone to live in a forest hut, think about what. The time spent on a date with a nerd, who poured you something about a dangerous journey to the Kaluga region, is considered for some reason fruitful. But when you sit and look at the ceiling - it is made to believe the watches spent. Nonsense. When the mind is not engaged in the idea of \u200b\u200b"how to get rid of the person and his Kaluga region", the imagination prompts us the standing thoughts one after another, this is working on their inner life. Or at least no less useful compilation of hikes to manicure this month.

The problem of loneliness, as you know, is in modern society Extremely acute.

Discussing this problem, we will not be immersed in science-shaped arguments, thoroughly converted psychological terminology and consider all aspects of problems from twenty-five angles of view and points of contemplation, systematically intelligent quotes of famous authors - psychology classics. From the special literature, the reader may find out that loneliness is associated with the deprivation of social contacts, may result from childhood, can be associated with a narcissistic vector in the character of personality, and so on. We will try to avoid special terminology and try to consider the theme of loneliness popularly, with the creative translation of the latter to the human language and, of course, to the spiritual participation to those who are not just wondering this problem, but lives in it and suffers - if not constantly, then with sad Regularity.

Find out people, strongly enhanced the sense of loneliness somewhere deep into the characteristic phrases and expressions

Loneliness - the problem is real and serious

Loneliness is really a problem. And the problem is really existing. Someone can calculate her far-fetched, but not the people who experienced all that devastation that loneliness brings into their lives. Someone loneliness drives crazy, paralyzes the will of the will to life, he brings suicide, makes it seek salvation in sects and still knows where. For others, there is nothing unnatural alone. For some people, loneliness is an absolutely normal existence that does not carry some kind of discomfort. Even on the contrary, it is an additional opportunity for self-improvement, development, gaining knowledge, freedom of maneuver, freedom of decision-making, responsibility for their lives, creativity, finally.

And the one and the other category of people is interesting. But, if the second does not need help and the words of participation, then people for whom loneliness represents the problem, they are usually needed. Rather, not even words and real help, and in many cases - professional.

Who else does not know

In principle, one can allocate another category of people - these are those who do not know that they are alone; More precisely - that loneliness is a problem for them. These are those who, for any reason, "decided" for themselves, that he no longer needs him that relations still do not add up and now he is in itself. These people are distinguished from the "true" single, the fact that they have this problem in reality - they did not decide it, but they just shoved her subconscious mind and put it with a cabinet. In principle, for the time being, such people can live relatively calmly and even happily (at first glance). That's just in their "basement" lies not something, but their personal " nuclear bomb", Which can rush at the most inopportune moment. Rush in the form of what? Well, for example, manifest itself in the form of stress, depression, awareness of its own insignificance after some provoking situation. At the same time, situations can be the most diverse - from the observation of rejoicing colleagues to a yellow leaf, torn off with a bare branch, we hold quietly with an autumn day.

Phrases markers

To learn how to make a volitional effort by a sense of solitude somewhere deep into the characteristic phrases and expressions.

For example:

"I do not need anybody"
"And so well"
"Since I have ceased to communicate ... My life has improved"
"All the same, I don't need anyone, so why do you need to syntictory"
"I am absolutely self-sufficient"
"People rare idiots, I don't need anything from them"
"I have too complex character and people avoid me"
"No one can still get along with me."
"I'm too smart and it's hard for me to find friends"
"I can't stand all these gatherings"
And so on and so forth.

Here I remember the Bigler Cadet from the "Adventure of the Brave Soldier Schweika" Yaroslav Gashek: "The cadet washed the blusted eyes with water and went out into the corridor, deciding to be strong, devilish strong."

Body manifestations

Naturally, among such people may come across those who really do not require communication or it is necessary in completely minimal quantities. And, the difference between others - the fact that some people live in the world with themselves, and others just hide the truth, and, as we mentioned, not only from others, but, first of all, from themselves.

However, in many cases of people who "invented" loneliness gives out the inner traitor - their own body and emotions, which, as it is known to be extremely difficult to control everything. Attentive observer, even if he is not familiar for a long time With such a person, it can pay attention to the fact that when using the above-mentioned "code phrases", a man in the corners "going" sadness, a smile can become miserable; Or, on the contrary, an outbreak of anger may follow, nothing, at first glance, is not provoked. It can be lowered shoulders, it can be a removed facial expression, heavy (or not very) sigh, compressing hands, suddenly increased interest in some parts of the body (for example, a person can tele the tip of the nose, ear, etc.) and other bodily manifestations.

In general, in order for the psychologist to have a reason to work with such a "stubborn under the castle" problem, it is necessary that the person himself realized her, and came.

It is clear that there are people who suffer from loneliness and are quite aware of it. And, as not sad, there are many such people. Moreover, much more than it may seem. Someone calls loneliness to the problem of large cities, someone is the problem of our time, someone else is a problem. Yes, the sources of loneliness are really a lot. Psychoanalysts would have started searching for a problem from childhood, Mr. K.Sdvez (American psychologist, one of the creators and leaders of humanistic psychology) would speak of a weak adaptability of the personality, someone else about the lack of social communication, R. Assadzhioli (Italian psychologist, psychiatrist , Humanist. The founder of psychosynthesis is the theoretical and methodological concept of psychotherapy and self-development of a person), it would be possible to recommend a rebeling personality. Etc. All that is stated on this topic in professional psychological literature verified, worked out and takes place. It is also true that for the most part independently solve the problem of loneliness to a person is difficult. For this, a psychologist will be useful. But, fortunately, not always.

How does it manifest?

It will be appropriate for a few more words to say about terminology. Obviously, it is necessary to distinguish loneliness as a temporary absence of communication, that is, in general, the loneliness is normal and not a traumatic person and loneliness - as a psychological state that complicates life. In which, having a formal circle of communication, it seems to be even friends, acquaintances, a person feels lonely.
For example, it may look like this:

"In the evening I met with friends, I had a good time, and then I returned home and I got so lonely !!"
"There are plenty of people around, and talk, to communicate with no one."
"I used to have many friends, and now they have changed, they became some nasty. You don't want to communicate with them. I feel very lonely. " Here I remember the Gogolev "Auditor": "I see some kind of pork shed instead of individuals, and nothing else ..."
"No one understands me on this light. I feel terribly lonely. I even started talking with me "
"Those men who like me do not pay attention to me and vice versa. And step over yourself - to live with those who do not like I can not. And because of all this I feel very lonely "
"I quit a guy. And friends, too, are echoed by some kind of deeds. I do not need anyone. I am very lonely. "

Obviously, all these stories lies as a temporary state of loneliness - when you just need to be alone, bring thoughts and feelings in order and re-open this life. That is, loneliness in such a situation - as a good reason to reconcile from active communication and sort it yourself. And, of course, there are cases of that very terrible loneliness, which quickly and abundantly makes people rust even with dry clear weather. And, such a loneliness can not formally be - a person can have everything well from the point of view of a third-party observer - and work, and a circle of communication and some interests. But the problem lies in the fact that loneliness is not formally. And it is measured not by the number of friends, acquaintances, work, public activities - no, it sits inside a person. In other words, in the presence of the above person, it may be lonely - because he feels like that. Thus, loneliness is a person's personal state. It may be temporary, and may be permanent and acquired from childhood, as a psychoanalytic school is correctly noticed.

For the causes of loneliness

What can I "write" for the causes of loneliness? The list is pretty diverse.

One of the reasons for loneliness is an understated self-assessment of a person. That is, for one reason or another, a person may assume that he is not interesting to other people. For example, that he is a pitiful, insignificant, weak, boring ... The list of epithets that a person can "award" himself can be continued for a very long time. An additional negative effect is that in such a situation a person receives confirmation of his worthlessness - after all, no one communicates with him (although, in general, he does not allow it to himself). And this, in turn, even more this very self-esteem reduces. Calculated by the following terms - germs to the state of nano-self-assessment.
On the contrary, a person can be too arrogant. "And with whom to communicate here," "Circle some idiots," "They do not even me." This usually occurs within the framework of the narcissistic vector in the character of a person. Although, it is necessary to understand that under this can actually be hidden just the same low self-esteem. And this phrases will be protected by such phrases, as an attempt to hide your fear over the surrounding. "Concerned about how they are perceived by others, narcissically organized people feel the deep feeling that they are deceived and unloved. It can be expected that they will be able to help develop self-exchanging and deepen their relationship, if spreading dynamic psychology on the fields, which Freud just began to affect. Our understanding of narcissism has improved thanks to the concepts of basic safety and identity (Sullivan, 1953; Ericson, 1950, 1968), the concept of own "I" as an alternative to the more functionalist concept of the ego (Winnicott, 1960B; Jacobson, 1964); self-esteem regulation concepts (A. Reich, 1960); Concepts of attachment and separation (Spitz, 1965; Bowlby, 1969, 1973); Development Development and Deficitality Concepts (Kohut, 1971; Stolorow & Lachmann, 1978) and Shame Concepts (Lynd, 1958; Lewis, 1971; Morrison, 1989). " - East. N. Mak-Williams, "Psychoanalytic Diagnostics"
People inclined to depend on other people and, which, accordingly, are afraid to "dissolve" in stronger tribesmen or partners can avoid close contacts, eligible for loneliness. For example, it is likely that many people when trying to build close (more often mean - family) relations met such potential partners. At first, the relationships begin to develop well - dynamically, bright, beautiful, love, dreams, hopes, joint plans ... But, suddenly, as you move to a logical conclusion - marriage, or to jointly, the partner is suddenly starting to quickly "blur", to get root right on Eyes. And in the end, the relationship is rhat, sometimes even without reaching sex. At the same time, "Outcast" receives another confirmation that he will be more comfortable in solitude. In particular, this may be present in the schizoid component in the character of a person (not to be confused with schizophrenia). "The primary conflict in the area of \u200b\u200brelationships in schizoid people relates to proximity and distance, love and fear. Their subjective life impresses deep ambivalence (duality) about affection. They passionately crave close, although they feel a constant threat to the absorption by others. They are looking for a distance to preserve their safety and independence, but at the same time suffer from remoteness and loneliness (Karon & Vanderbos, 1981). Gantrip (Guntrip, 1952) outlined the "classic dilemma" of schizoid individuals as follows: "They can neither consist in relationships with another personality, nor be out of these relationships, not attending one way or another to lose themselves and the object." This statement indicates this dilemma as a "internal and external program". Robbins (Robbins, 1988) summarizes this dynamics in this post: "Come closer - I'm alone, but stay aside - I am afraid of introduction." In sexual terms, some schizoid people find themselves amazingly indifferent, often despite the ability to function and receive orgasm. The closer the other, the stronger the fear that sex means the west. " - East. N. Mak-Williams, "Psychoanalytic Diagnostics"
Where can it appear from? For example, from childhood - with overtime, straight and straightforwards.
Another reason can be just the absence of communication skills. A person, for one reason or another, simply does not know how correctly ( right - it means to speak and act as it is accepted in the society in which you are and even go beyond - a way accepted in society) Chat. There may be a lot of reasons - maybe these skills were not vaccinated in childhood, when a child was brought up in a specific family, maybe a person moved to another country. But there is a country there - in large cities, people are discriminated with even their rustic republic - naturally, they have to make more efforts to fit into the society that they choose themselves. However, the opposite is also true. This can also include the problems of communication of various social strata - it is clear that the loader, the will of the case that fell into a professorial family with the corresponding circle of communication should have truly outstanding abilities so that it was taken if not for his own, then at least just accepted. Obviously, this is not always happening.
The cause of solitude can be obtained psychotrauma. For example, a raped woman may have a steady perception of itself (which is still promoted by the dual attitude towards victims of violence in our society - the type itself is to blame, provoked so on) as a defiled, dirty, unworthy. Naturally, such self-holding does not contribute not to the fact that the search for a partner, but in general, to some kind of communication. Or maybe it will be a trauma of betrayal. And in this case, no matter what kind - the betrayal of a beloved person or parents is still in childhood may lead to the same consequences. After all, it is always necessary to remember - even if the side is perceived harmless, on a particular person it can make a crushing effect, with which he will not cope with himself.
In addition, there is a suggestion that as a human consciousness increases, the level of loneliness, if you can put it, grows. Under the level of consciousness, if we say simplistic, usually understand the level of awareness of themselves in this world and the most of this world as a whole. For example, what I do on this land, or, more landed - things are not always like that seem. For example, a joint bottle does not guarantee that the drinking can a good man And the person with a certain level of consciousness is "catching up." More detailed information on the levels of consciousness can be searched in search engines for "logical levels of consciousness". So, the higher this level, the more than A person perceives himself lonely. Well, because, the level of consciousness is largely rooted with intelligence, it will be quite appropriate to go here Shopenhauer with a quote: "Loneliness is lots of all outstanding minds." However, the growth of "comfortable" loneliness as the level of consciousness is heard rather hypothetical.
And, of course, there are quite physiological causes for loneliness. For example, a person since childhood has pronounced autistic features, which, obviously, do not have to communicate. But, in this case, this is not entirely loneliness, since such people feel quite well in their own world.

From what we reviewed becomes clear that in some cases loneliness leaves with the beginning of communication (then it is essentially not loneliness), a sense of loneliness can intensify or, on the contrary, to weaken; People may try to "join" their loneliness due to the permanent employment of themselves with something - work, hobby, some kind of communication; Not with each type of loneliness, a person can cope with his own. Tosca, despair, depression, is just some of his companions.

About choosing and responsible.

It is often believed that the situation of loneliness can be productively used for self-development. Or, in other words, to increase the level of consciousness. In principle, this is possible. But it would be a big mistake to assume that it was under the power to all. First, as we have seen, the types and stages of loneliness are very different. In some states, a person is simply not able to break out of his narrowed world, squeezed by the visits of loneliness. Secondly, not all people find pleasure in self-development, besides, it is simply not able to develop.

And in general, in development for many people a danger was enclosed (or rather, it will be to say for their established world) - development makes it possible to rethink itself, the life of surrounding people, their behavior, attitude to many things. This means that a person changes. And changes in man imply other changes - the change of interests, friends, partners. And for this you need responsibility and will. Obviously, we are talking about personal responsibility - making all the solutions and elections that a person does. And with liability in our age, as is well known. To accept the choice, and such that it meets the desires of the person himself, and not everyone would be an attempt to please everything - not all are capable of it. And the point here is not only in a weak will, and in the unconscious component of our personality, which is extremely quietly capable of protecting a person from the fact that it seems dangerous. Thus, most people in such a situation preferably preferred and "painless" solutions - to remain in the already existing reality (the benefit can "mature" and additional benefits - for example, in the form of pity on the part of loved ones), and instead of the commission of sometimes not easy choice and decision making Fill out its vacuum meaningless or conditionally-senseless actions like workolism. More, in addition, the inability to take responsibility leads to where the solutions are easily and naturally accepted for them - for example, sects that with open arms take people and with ease of extraordinary give them a simple and understandable sense of existence in society to themselves. Obviously, the question of responsibility and choice arises not only when development attempts and, first of all, the development of the level of consciousness that was used as an example.

I am a practitioner psychologist, I edit this blog and I write a lot for him. It is difficult to name my sphere of interests in psychology - after all, everything that is connected with people is insanely interesting! Now I expect considerable attention to themes of narcissism, psychological violence, relations, personal crises, liability for their lives, improving self-esteem, existential problems. Cost consultation 3000 rubles per hour. t. +7 926 211-18-64, Full-time (Moscow, m. Maryina Grove), or through Skype (Barbaris71).

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