Powerful Sobel Questions. Summary of Powerful Questions

The questions we choose can be incredibly powerful. They are powerful insights into the problem. They are the key that opens any doors.
Andrew Sobel, Jerold Panas

We meet many people in life. Depending on the type of activity, more or less. But not all of them become our friends and stay for many years.

Friendships form very easily in childhood. It is enough to live in the same entrance, study in the same class, or have similar hobbies and hobbies. The criteria for choosing friends are very simple: almost everyone with whom they have anything in common can become close.

Over the years, this ease of contact has become less and less. The last frontier where you can easily find friends is the highest educational institution... Then everything depends on the work, team, etc. etc.

Sometimes we wonder why some people get closer to us and stay in our life, while others just pass by? When you start to analyze how friendship was born, then you remember moments of communication, not formal, personal, close.

I am often asked the question of how to cross this line from formal business communication to a closer and more personal one. Of course, there is one universal remedy that has worked flawlessly at all times. I think you guessed it - this is a feast with relaxing and strong drinks.

Recently, the trend of a healthy lifestyle is gaining momentum more and more. Many successful people refused to consume harmful products, including alcohol. And what can be done? Has it become more difficult to get closer in a relationship now?

No. The main effect that alcohol has on humans is to remove barriers and restrictions, the degree of which depends on the dose. The most important thing that happens is easy communication on various personal topics. Without hesitation, a person tells his story of life, success, failure.

It is after the disclosure of some personal secrets that people become closer. Now they know each other on a deeper level, this is how friendships and more informal relationships are born.

To reach an informal level of relationship with a person who is not yet very close to you, you need to know and ask the right questions. Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas write about them in their book Powerful Questions.

Question number 1. What brings you the most satisfaction in life?

Satisfaction is a pleasant feeling that comes after achieving goals, fulfilling plans, it is different from happiness. By asking such a question, you create a favorable atmosphere for revealing the deep topics of the interlocutor.

For example, you might ask: What brings you more satisfaction: work, family, relationships, hobbies? When you receive a response, please follow up with a request for more details.

Question number 2. What are you dreaming about?

This question is more suitable for people with whom you already have friendships and want to bring them closer. We all have dreams, and by talking about them, we open up and go to a deeper level of relationship.

Question number 3. What was the happiest day of your life?

This is a powerful question. Even if you do not get an answer to it, then believe me, you will trigger positive reactions in the person's thoughts. The question is ideal for changing the atmosphere if it is not very friendly or negative.

I had interesting experience with this question. It was the New Year 2011 meeting. I was visiting friends in St. Petersburg. A company of about ten gathered, and the atmosphere was a little tense. More than an hour remained before the new year.

Despite the fact that I saw many for the first time, I took the initiative. She asked the question: "What was the happiest day in the past year?" She also said that everyone must answer, the first one started, this is also a certain technique that helps people overcome the barrier.

You have no idea how the atmosphere and the faces of the guests have changed! The room was filled with smiles and happiness, which everyone experienced again, remembering and talking about this day. The further celebration of the new year was magical! It all started with just the right question.

Tip: See for yourself how the questions work in practice. I look forward to your comments! If you know any more interesting questions, write, I will be very grateful!

7 General

GetAbstract Review

We all know the importance of listening attentively. However, consultant Jerold Panas and account expert Andrew Sobel believe that it is not enough to build productive relationships with clients, partners, management and loved ones. Listening should be combined with asking questions. And not just questions, but those that allow you to get to the heart of the matter, find an effective solution, and understand the interlocutor. Sobel and Panas call such questions powerful. In each chapter, the authors tell a story from their practice that illustrates the possibilities of one of the “powerful questions”. Some questions allow you to quickly get to the root of the problem, others - to build relationships, eliminate conflict, establish strong ties, increase the effectiveness of interaction. However, not all stories sound convincing and, in addition, the authors sometimes pay too much attention to them. Nevertheless, this book makes us take a fresh look at how we communicate with others - both at work and at home. getAbstract recommends it practical guide CEOs of companies, managers and anyone who wants to make their communication with others more productive.

From the summary of the book, you will learn:

• What are Power Questions;
• How Power Questions help you get to the heart of the matter and help solve problems;
• What "powerful questions" should be asked, and when.

Authors

Andrew Sobel- an expert on work with clients. Jerold Panas- CEO of the consulting firm Jerold Panas, Linzy & Partners.

Questions that work

According to the head of one large company, he never has any difficulty in assessing potential partners. What experience they have and how seriously and thoughtfully they take a case is determined by the questions they ask and the way they listen. Indeed, right the question asked able to open many doors. Powerful questions make the conversation more meaningful, open up new possibilities, and help you get to the bottom of the problem.

Here's an example. Representatives of the consulting company came to a meeting with a potential customer. The client started with the traditional question: "Could you tell us a little about yourself?" The lead consultant told the story of his company, its advantages, described its approach. Half an hour later, the presentation was over, but no contact with the potential client was established. There was no way to install it anymore - under a plausible pretext, the customer ended the meeting.

A year later, one of the consulting firms attending the meeting found himself at a similar meeting with a more experienced negotiator named DeWitt. The prospect asked the same question. Having endured ...

1. Does a person experience pain when their head is cut off?
Answer: yes, it does. A medical study in 1983 concluded that no matter how quickly an execution is carried out, a few seconds of pain is inevitable when a person loses their head. Even with the use of the guillotine, which is considered one of the most "humane" means of decapitation, severe pain cannot be avoided, which will last for at least 2 - 3 seconds.

2. Why are pineapples so thorny?
The prickly outer side of pineapples seems to contradict the very purpose of the fruit's existence: how can animals get to the sweet pulp that is inside? The fact is that those pineapples that are sold in stores are actually still completely unripe. Forest animals eat pineapples after they are ripe. Ripe pineapple becomes soft, it is already easy to open it, and then the animals eat it. Many plants have a prickly outer side to protect the fruit until it is fully ripe.

3. What are the dimensions wormhole?
The mole feeds on worms and other reptiles that infiltrate its underworld. The size of a wormhole depends on how rich in living creatures the land in which the mole lives. Of course, the hole of a mole living under a succulent meadow will be much smaller than the hole that a mole living in acidic soil will dig. In total, an adult mole can dig a hole, the area of ​​which will be more than 7 thousand square meters by building a multi-level network of tunnels, which can have up to 6 levels. The mole digs a hole deeply, with various passages and "storerooms" in which it stores its prey.
4. If you are wearing black pants or a skirt, does it make your bottom look smaller?
The answer is yes it is. The human eye perceives light colors better, so the outlines of body parts in dark clothes appear smaller in size. The problem is that it only works when you are looking at the person from behind. When you look at it from the side, the bottom shows its true size.

5. Why does nettle sting so painfully?
Stinging nettle causes such a strong discomfort when touched, because this plant releases a mixture of 3 chemicals when the delicate hairs on its leaves are destroyed on contact with human skin. Against burns with these acidic chemicals, which are part of the nettle, it is customary to use such a remedy as applying a sorrel leaf to the affected area of ​​the skin, which releases alkali when rubbed against the skin. The effectiveness of this remedy is questionable, with some believing that pain is actually reduced because the cool sorrel leaf cools the skin.

7. Why, if you smear a cut apple with lemon juice, it does not darken?
The answer to this question lies in the cellular structure of the apple. When the knife cuts the skin, the cells of the apple are destroyed, and the air oxidizes the enzymes of this fruit. The process when the apple turns brown is designed to help the cell healing process and also make the apple unattractive to animals that would want to eat it. And citric acid, which is found in lemon, slows down this process of changing the color of the apple cut.

8. How fat does a person need to get to be bulletproof?
To do this, you would have to get terribly fat. A bullet of the most common caliber - 9 mm - is capable of piercing 60 cm of human flesh to a complete stop. In addition, even if a bullet were stuck in body fat, a bullet hit would cause serious damage. internal organs, and a person could die from vascular thrombosis.

9. What animals do wasps eat?
Wasps are eaten by birds, skunks, bears, weasels, rats and mice. Wasps and bees are eaten by birds of 133 species, which avoid the bites of these insects, crushing them against the trunk or branches of trees. Badgers dig up hornets' nests and consume their contents for food, despite the obvious displeasure and resistance of the inhabitants of the nests. Wasps are also eaten by dragonflies, frogs, moths and beetles. Some wasp larvae taste good when fried in oil.

10. Why didn't nature invent the wheel?
Nature invented it, it was just unnoticed until recently. Microorganisms use circular discs for movement. Bacteria move with the help of "wheels" - they move by attaching themselves to the "wheel" in cell membrane... This wheel spins at a tremendous speed (up to 100 revolutions per second) and generates electricity, which charges proteins attached to the cell membrane.