What is interpersonal relationships in the process of communication. Communication and interpersonal relationships
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Interpersonal communication is the interaction of an individual with other individuals. Interpersonal communication is marked by the inevitability, as well as the pattern of occurrence in various real groups. Interpersonal subjective relationships are a reflection of communication between members of the same group, which serve as a subject of study for social psychology.
The main purpose of the study of interpersonal interaction or interaction within a group is in-depth study various social factors, various interactions of individuals included in this group. If there is no contact between people, then the human community will not be able to carry out joint full-fledged activities, since proper mutual understanding will not be achieved between them. For example, for a teacher to be able to teach students, he first needs to enter into communication.
Interpersonal relationships and communication
Communication is a multifaceted process of developing contacts between individuals, which are generated by the needs of joint activities. Consider communication in the system of interpersonal relations, as well as the interaction of individuals. Let's define the place of communication in the structure of interpersonal interaction, as well as the interaction of individuals.
In interpersonal interaction, three main tasks are considered: first, interpersonal perception; second, understanding a person; third, the formation of interpersonal relationships, as well as the provision of psychological impact. The concept of "the perception of a person by a person" is insufficient for the final knowledge of people. In the future, a concept is added to it as "understanding a person", which includes connection to the process of human perception and other cognitive processes. The effectiveness of perception is directly related to the personality trait (socio-psychological observation), which will make it possible to catch subtle, but very essential for understanding features in the behavior of an individual.
Features of interpersonal communication are noted in the perception of speech and depend on the state of health, age, gender, nationality, attitudes, communication experience, personal and professional characteristics. With age, a person's emotional states differentiate, the individual begins to perceive the world through the prism of a personal national way of life.
Individuals with high level social, and the object of cognition in this case is both the social and the physical appearance of a person.
Initially, a person's perception is fixed on the physical appearance, which includes functional, physiological, paralinguistic characteristics. The physiological characteristics include sweating, respiration, and blood circulation. Functional features include posture, posture, gait, non-verbal communication features (facial expressions, body movements, gestures). Emotions are unambiguously easy to differentiate, and unexpressed and mixed mental states are much more difficult to recognize. Social appearance includes social design of appearance (human clothing, shoes, accessories), paralinguistic, speech, proxemic and activity characteristics.
Proxemic features include the state between communicators, as well as their mutual arrangement. Extralinguistic features of speech include the originality of the voice, pitch, timbre. When perceived by an individual, social characteristics in comparison with the physical appearance are the most informative. The process of cognition of an individual consists of mechanisms that distort ideas about the perceived person. Mechanisms that distort the image of the perceived limit the possibility for objective knowledge of people. The most significant of them are the mechanisms of primacy or novelty, which boil down to the fact that the first impression of the perceived affects the next formation of the image of the cognized object.
When perceiving an individual, as well as understanding him, the subject unconsciously chooses various mechanisms of interpersonal cognition. The main mechanism is the correlation (interpretation) of the personal experience of cognition of people with the perception of a given individual.
Identification in interpersonal cognition appears as identification with another individual. Also, the subject uses the mechanism of causal attribution, when the perceived object is attributed to certain reasons and motives that explain its features and actions. The mechanism of reflection of another individual in interpersonal cognition is marked by the subject's awareness of how he is perceived by the object.
Interpersonal understanding and perception of an object is carried out with a fairly strict order of functioning of the mechanisms of interpersonal cognition, namely from simple to complex. In the process of interpersonal cognition, the subject takes into account all information coming to him, which speaks of a change in the partner's state during communication. The conditions for the perception of an individual include time, situations, place of communication. Reducing the time at the time of perception of the object reduces the possibility of the perceiver to receive sufficient information about it. With close and long-term contact, the evaluators show favoritism and condescension.
Interpersonal relationships act part of interactions, and are also considered in its context.
The psychology of interpersonal relationships is experienced, realized in varying degrees of the relationship between individuals. They are based on various emotional states of interacting individuals, as well as their psychological characteristics. Sometimes interpersonal relationships are called emotional, expressive. The development of interpersonal relationships is determined by age, gender, nationality and other factors. Women have a much smaller social circle than men. They need interpersonal communication for self-disclosure, for transferring personal information about themselves to others. Also, women complain more often about loneliness. For them, the most significant features are noted in interpersonal relationships, and business qualities are important for men.
Interpersonal relationships in dynamics develop according to the following scheme: they arise, consolidate, and also reach a certain maturity, then they are able to gradually weaken. The dynamics of the development of interpersonal relations consists of the following stages: acquaintance, companionship, friendship and friendship. The mechanism of development in interpersonal relations is, which is the response of one personality to the experiences of another. Compared to rural areas, in urban settings, interpersonal contacts are the most numerous, quickly start up and quickly break off.
The psychology of interpersonal communication
Communication is one of the central in psychological science and stands alongside such categories as "thinking", "behavior", "personality", "relationships".
Interpersonal communication in psychology is a process of interaction aimed at mutual establishment, cognition, development of relationships, and also involving mutual influence on states, behavior, attitudes, regulation of joint activities of all participants in the process. In social psychology, over the past 25 years, the study of the problem of communication has received one of the central directions of study in psychological science.
Communication in psychology means reality human relations, suggesting a variety of forms of joint activities of individuals. Communication is not only the subject of psychological research, and one of the methodological principles for revealing this relationship is the idea of the unity of activity and communication. But the nature of this connection is understood in different ways. Sometimes communication and activity are viewed as two sides of a person's social life; in other cases, communication is perceived as an element of various activities, and activity is viewed as a condition for communication. Also, communication is interpreted as a special kind of activity. In the process of communication, there is a mutual exchange of activities, perceptions, feelings, ideas, the system of relations "subject-subject (s)" develops and manifests itself.
Interpersonal communication problems are often noted in motivational as well as operational difficulties, which correlate with two sides of communication - interactive and communicative. Problems manifest themselves in the affective, cognitive and behavioral domains. They are characterized by a lack of desire to understand the interlocutor, the characteristics of his personality, internal state, interests. Interpersonal communication problems can be noted in the following: taking advantage of the interlocutor using flattery, intimidation, deception, throwing dust in the eyes, showing concern and kindness.
Interpersonal communication among youth
Adolescence and adolescence is a critical period in the process of interpersonal evolution. Since the age of 14, interpersonal relationships are being formed, in which attitudes towards the subjects of reality play a different role: towards the elderly, towards parents, towards classmates, towards teachers, towards friends, towards their own personality, towards representatives of a different religion and nationality, towards the sick and drug addicts.
The psychological world of a teenager is often turned to inner life, a young man is often thoughtful and fantasies. The same period is marked by intolerance, irritability, tendency to. By the age of 16, the stage of self-knowledge and self-affirmation begins, which is noted in increased observation. Gradually, among young people, the degree of unacceptable, as well as unacceptable, tends to increase. This is due to the fact that young people become very critical of reality.
The problems of interpersonal communication in the youth environment are manifested in the form of conflicts among students, which destabilize the emotional background in the team, in the group. Often, conflicts, quarrels in the youth environment occur due to inability or due to lack of compassion and unwillingness to respect others. Often, protests occur due to the lack of a degree of upbringing, as well as a violation of the culture of behavior. Often, a protest is targeted, i.e. directed against the culprit conflict situation... Once the conflict is resolved, the young man calms down.
To avoid similar situations, adults are encouraged to maintain a calm, polite tone of communication. It is necessary to abandon categorical judgments about a teenager, especially with regard to issues of fashion and music.
Adults need to try to compromise, yield in an argument, avoiding red rag syndrome. It is especially painful if the scandal is watched by friends or peers of a young person, so adults should give in and not be sarcastic, because only good relationships contribute to the establishment of relationships.
Interpersonal culture
The development of a culture of communication includes the development of skills and abilities to correctly perceive others, in general view be able to determine the character of a person, his internal state and mood in a specific situation during interaction. And already from this, choose an adequate style, as well as the tone of communication. Since the same words, gestures, can be appropriate in a conversation with a calm and benevolent person and can provoke an undesirable reaction in the agitated interlocutor.
The culture of interpersonal communication involves the development of a culture of communication, which is based on the development of speech, mental properties, specific social attitudes, and peculiarities of thinking. The need for deep emotional as well as meaningful communication is high. This need is satisfied when empathy is inherent in the personality, which is understood as the ability to emotionally respond to the experiences of other people, as well as to understand their experiences, feelings, thoughts, to penetrate their inner world, to empathize, and also to sympathize with them.
The culture of interpersonal communication is based on openness, non-standard action plan, flexibility. It is very important to have a large vocabulary, figurativeness and correctness of speech, to accurately perceive spoken words, as well as to accurately convey the ideas of partners, to be able to correctly pose questions; accurately formulate answers to questions.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Communication is one of the aspects of a person's lifestyle, no less essential than activity. It is in communication that people physically and spiritually create each other. According to KS Stanislavsky, communication involves "counter current", mutual understanding and interaction between people.
Communication - a special independent form of the subject's activity, which manifests itself in the formation of relations between people, in the exchange of ideas, images, ideas in the very process of communication. Communication reveals the subjective world of one person for another. If people were absolutely identical in mental qualities and properties, communication would not be necessary, and if they were completely different, it would be impossible. From the point of view of personality development in the process of communication, two opposite tendencies are dialectically combined:
1. The person joins the life of society and social group.
2. Isolation of the personality, its individual diversity is formed. Personality seeks to preserve and reveal its individuality in the process of communication.
Communication is an extremely delicate and delicate process of human interaction both by special means (speech, facial expressions, etc.) and by any manifestations of activity. Any action or object can be involved in the communication process. In communication, the individual characteristics of a person are most diversely revealed, and it always absorbs into its fabric the characteristics of another person, time, circumstances. Communication has its own functions, channels, means, types and types, phrases.
Communication has three main functions: 1 - information and communication; 2 - regulatory and communicative; 3 - emotional and communicative.
Communication functions. The most obvious function is to convey some information, some content and meaning. This is the semantic (semantic side of communication). But this transmission ultimately affects (in a broad sense, governs) on human behavior, human actions and deeds, on the state and organization of his inner world. The specificity of communication is that it is a means of interaction of the mental worlds of people with each other. Hence, the role of communication in achieving the maximum in its development by the psyche of each person is clear. Through communication, we let the worlds of other people into our inner world. This is why a level of mastery of communication is practically important for building relationships correctly.
Information and communication function is also revealed in the processes of transmission and reception of information by communication partners. In real processes of communication between people, information is not only transmitted - received, but also formed, which is very important point for creative productive communication. This is not only the equalization of differences in the initial awareness of partners, but also the desire to understand the views and attitudes of each other, to compare them, to express their agreement or disagreement, to come to certain agreed or new results.
The second function of communication is regulatory and control - manifests itself in the impact on the behavior of partners in the process of their communication. Thanks to communication, a person gets the opportunity to regulate not only his own behavior, but also the behavior of other people. There is a mutual "adjustment" of actions. Through the deep psychological mechanisms of communication, about which it was written in the previous chapter - infection, imitation, suggestion and persuasion, it is possible to exert a controlling influence on a person, the depth of which depends on the individual properties of communication partners.
The third function of communication is emotional and communicative - has a great impact on the emotional state of a person. The entire spectrum of human emotions arises and develops in the process of communication between people. The need for communication often arises in connection with the need to change your emotional state. In the process of communication between people, the intensity of the emotional states of partners can change: there is either a convergence of these states, or their polarization, mutual strengthening or weakening. A person in communication can be emotionally discharged or, conversely, increase emotional tension.
Communication with others is closely related to the possibilities and forms of communication of a person with himself. Autocommunication in some psychological situations, it can dramatically weaken. Communication with oneself is a mechanism for the realization of self-awareness.
Communication means
Two major classes stand out in communication media: verbal and non-verbal.
Verbal - it is speech in its various forms. Non-verbal - these are pantomime (body movements), facial expressions, gestures and other means: spatial (distance, approach, removal, turns "to" and "from"), temporary (earlier, later) and objective (presence, position of objects, etc.) ... It should be emphasized the practical importance of the ability to "read" non-verbal information. In speech, linguistic means and paralinguistic (extralinguistic) are distinguished. The tempo of speech, loudness, volume and tempo transitions, changes in the pitch and color of the voice are all means of conveying the emotional state of a person, his attitude to the transmitted message. A person cannot consciously control the entire sphere of his means of communication, so often even what he wants to hide is manifested, for example, through the movements of the hands, the expression of the eyes, the position of the legs, etc. Briefly verbal communication is characterized by what is said, by whom, to whom, how, for what purpose and under what circumstances. Only by taking into account all these points and even all the non-verbal "accompaniment", it is possible to correctly understand and correctly perceive (express) something. Therefore, quite often people really do not understand each other, although it seems to them that they do. The role of circumstances is often underestimated. There is such a concept "silent language". We are talking about the accepted norms of behavior in relation to which the meaning of the message (behavior) is "calculated". For example, in European culture, the accepted distance between interlocutors (non-verbal factor) is about 70 cm, in Spain and Latin American countries - about 40 cm.At the same time, in the European tradition, it is not customary to grab the interlocutor, slap him on the sides, stomach, etc., in other countries, on the contrary, is the norm. If you confuse these norms, then in Europe you will be considered a cheeky, self-confident impudent (accordingly, all your messages will be perceived in this vein), and in Latin America - a pompous, prim and cold fool.
From childhood, the surrounding people, objects, events belonging to a certain culture, in thousands of invisible ways, put into a person a whole network of “self-evident” standard circumstances with a standard meaning. In various forms, this network necessarily penetrates the structure of a person's personality, he looks at the world and understands the world, as if sitting behind the bars of stereotypes of perception and interpretation. This applies not only to the traits of a given culture, but also to the traits of the family in which the person grew up. These social and family (+ random) stereotypes represent an obstacle and at the same time a necessary condition for understanding another person. It is difficult to see him behind these obstacles. But if you do not see them and do not understand them, you will see yourself: your own characteristics (in a modified form, attributed to another). So this "cage" not only interferes, but also gives stability to the content, as it were, reduces the uncertainty of individual arbitrariness in communication. We dwell on this for a little longer, because the most practically important issue in communication is openness. Openness not as the sincerity of the speaker, but as the ability to perceive the other with an open mind: to be open to what he is trying to convey. Imagining oneself as a monarch who, as he wants, and understands, leads to blindness in communication and primitivism in relationships. A high culture of communication gives you confidence that you will be understood correctly. A person who violates socially accepted behavioral standards "loads" the psyche of other people with the task of deciphering the meaning of his behavior. For example, if you are late, then the person waiting for you will inevitably go through several states (depending on the type of culture). Suppose we are Europeans, and "accuracy is the courtesy of kings" - it is customary to arrive on time. The European "expectant" will at first just wait (a normal period of waiting), then he will start to worry in general, then he will raise a question about you (such and such, slob), then about himself (he does not respect me), then about your relationship (I will show him , it's time to finish), then comes to the decisive choice: either you are so-and-so, or you are okay, something just happened and, probably, something needs to be done urgently. He may not ask himself these questions, but he will have a change of feelings. Here we are faced in a different form with the concept of text, subtext, subtext. Text - this is what we perceive in communication as if everything is the same. Subtext - it is a hidden meaning. Zatext - this is the area of the implications of what has been said. In our time, very operational and complex business contacts, laxity in communication sets the limit for possible advances in technology. Therefore - more attention to etiquette and conventions.
According to the "audience", communication is divided into communication between two (dialogue), communication in a small group, in a large group, with the mass, anonymous and intergroup communication is also distinguished. Anonymous communication is communication without clarity of source. It is clear that in dialogue, personal contact with all psychological and other (for example, parapsychological and extrasensory) interactions plays a very important role. In a small group, the possibility of close personal contact with someone or with all of the group remains, and something new appears in communication. In a large group (for example, a university audience), personal contact is more limited. Experienced lecturers and artists perceive the mood of the audience as something independent. At rallies, during mass performances, the laws of the "crowd" come to the fore and a new quality appears - emotional contact. Experienced politicians are excellent at manipulating crowds.
All of these types of communication by the type of "audience" relate to direct communication.
Direct communication is a person - person (group) without intermediate message carriers. Indirect communication is carried out through intermediate devices (television, radio, print, etc.). Direct communication is multichannel (speech, movement, etc.). We still do not know much, and, in particular, about the field effects of living things (including people on each other). In direct communication, all natural communication channels can be involved. Device-mediated communication limits the use of natural channels.
Communication channels
Communication channels mean different things. First of all, channels are distinguished that correspond to different sense organs: visual, auditory, tactile (touch), somatosensory (sensations of one's body) - it is also kinesthetic. Each person has their own characteristics in the perception of the world and another person with the help of the senses. From the elementary world for a person, another person is the most difficult system for perception. In psychology, a special area is distinguished - the perception of a person by a person (social perception). In one of the areas of modern psychology (NLP - neurolinguistic programming), these differences are the basis for the classification of people: visuals, audials, kinesthetics. These types of people differ greatly in many ways, including the structure of communication. So, visuals love the visual presentation, concreteness, prefer to rise above the interlocutor, are prone to accusatory statements, do not tolerate walking in front of them during communication, etc. Audials everyone perceives through auditory images, music, speech, sounds in nature; kinesthetics- through the states of their body, as if everyone is emotionally experiencing. In general, imitation - assimilation - occupies a significant place in the perception of a person by a person. Try, looking at another person, to imagine that he is you, you will feel the tension in the muscles of your body: you become like. Now you feel yourself as different from him.
On a logical basis, there are three types of communication channels: direct, indirect and controlled indirect. The criterion here is the intentional or unintentional communication of something. A direct channel is what the source communicates explicitly. An indirect channel is that information about what is communicated to you in the direct channel, which you yourself obtain by active observation and feeling in all manifestations of the source. The real psychological basis for this classification is trust or distrust of the source. If you trust the source, that is, you think that he will not deliberately tell you anything false, then the indirect channel is not used as a control channel, you get other, additional information through it. If you do not trust the source, then the indirect channel is a controlling double: you consider its content in the sense of coincidence or non-coincidence with the content of the direct channel. Very often, direct verbal content can conflict with intonation, tempo, rhythmic and other non-verbal characteristics of speech and behavior. These are the contradictions of the direct and indirect channels (a person smiles, but his eyes are sad; he says “I am calm” and drumming his fingers on the table, seemingly relaxed and smiling, and the foot rhythmically taps on the floor, etc.).
Finally the third - managed indirect channel, when a message that is perceived as unintentional is radiated quite intentionally. Usually little things help to see the big and, most importantly, to make sure of it. You can recall many examples from detective stories when a small decisive piece of evidence was planted on purpose. A confident tone in a dubious situation, a direct look when lying, etc. - all this is a deliberate emission of what your addressee considers to be genuine, what he himself found in you. Nature has divided direct and indirect channels. Thus, the mimic muscles are controlled simultaneously from the areas of the brain that provide intentional and unintentional movements. So, in principle, there is always support for judging uncontrolled radiation, showing the actual state of our partner. We will also refer to a very important factor of inter-human interaction - human trust. The concepts of mystery and secret are from the same area. A secret is understood as such a concealment of something, when there is not even a hint of the existence of this. Not at all, no one knows about it, does not think, and there are no "traces" in the tissue of communication. A secret is a situation when it is known - something is hidden, but what is hidden is unknown. Secret and secret are revealed in communication. Confidential communication is open, there are no obstacles for it, it is associative: freely arising associations are also expressed freely, there are no delays or omissions. Both interlocutors (even if there are two of them) tactfully do not touch on topics of the standard socially closed. Any secret or secret will disrupt the free flow of communication, and everyone will note this: communication will either collapse or begin to move around these topics until the situation is resolved. Removing socially forbidden topics and personal inhibitions is the way to deepen the openness of communication, if there is no negative reaction. Later, we will touch on the concepts of depth of trust and its acceptable depth.
Types of communication
Functional role communication. This is communication at the level of social roles of partners (boss and subordinate, teacher - student, seller, buyer). There are certain norms and expectations involved. Role masks communicate. The transition from role-based communication to interpersonal and vice versa is often used in business contacts.
Interpersonal communication. Actually, almost everything that we are considering here is directly related to this type of communication. It is understood (as the most common model) the participation of two people in interpersonal communication, although the minimum total number of participants in communication is three. The difference between these types of communication is that for the third, the relations of the other two are objective: he cannot influence them directly, but only through the relationship with one of them. When communicating between two, the third is always invisibly present, either as a social norm, or as the opinion of a close friend, or other authority.
Business conversation. It can be easily distinguished from functional-role. Business communication is a type of interpersonal communication aimed at achieving some kind of substantive agreement. V business communication there is always a goal. It is believed that in business communication the problems to be solved do not affect the interests of the "mask", but the individual himself, and he is mobilized.
Interpersonal communication is extremely multifaceted. But, perhaps, the most practically interesting moments of the influence of people on each other. Psychotherapy and various schools of practical psychology are doing this most seriously. The concept of trust is central here, and trust is not a secret message to someone, but the acceptance of information from another without a critical filter, without verification. The extreme form of such communication is rapport.
Report communication. This is communication with one-sided trust - the patient trusts. Mutual trust is associated with complete mutual freedom, openness and acceptance of everyone as they are. Trust, having arisen and strengthened, tends to deepen: people reveal to each other ever deeper layers of their inner world. Mutual immersion is an emotionally intense process that can make a huge difference in people. It imposes the responsibility for conformity of behavior to the level of achieved depth. Can you really help? If the person has trusted you, a sense of responsibility should regulate the depth of trust available. If this is not the case, trust easily turns into betrayal with the corresponding consequences. In this regard, the presence of protective barriers is understandable. Unilateral use barriers occurs during interpersonal protection: one person tries to change the personality of another in order to justify his negative qualities and create for himself psychological comfort in communication.
The orientation in the communication style can be different - the need for something else, preoccupation with oneself (malleable style); the need to achieve success by controlling others (aggressive style); maintaining emotional distance, independence, solitude (detached style). Also, different types of orientation are distinguished: altruistic (benefit and help to others); manipulative (achieving one's own goal); missionary (hands-off, discreet influence). More about styles: cooperation, compromise, rivalry (I insist on my own), adaptation (I try to keep the relationship); avoidance (unpleasant). Communication management can be authoritarian in style (individual decisions), democratic (group-oriented), liberal (subject to chance).
Communication phases. The most critical phase of preparation, if possible. Communication must be planned, the right place and time must be chosen, and the attitude towards the results of communication must be determined for oneself. The first phase of communication is getting in touch. Important here attunement, it is important to feel the state, the mood of the partner, to get used to it yourself and to give the other person the opportunity to navigate. There are techniques for attaching to a partner (up to imitation of some of its features, tracking the rhythm of breathing, etc.). It is important to win over your partner and ensure that you start off on a straight line. This period ends with the establishment of psychological contact. Then comes the phase of concentration of attention on something, some problem, the task of the parties and the development of the topic. The next step is motivational probing. Its purpose is to understand the motives of the interlocutor and his interests. Then comes the phase of maintaining attention. It is necessary to return to the methods of maintaining attention (switching, etc.) several times. This is followed by the phase of argumentation and persuasion, if there is a difference of opinion. And finally, the phase of fixing the result. If the topics are exhausted or the partner shows concern, it is necessary to end the conversation. This is always a critical moment in a relationship. Objectively, this is a break, since you will not communicate for a while. You must always end the communication so that there is a prospect of continuation. The very last moment is very important, the last words, glances, handshakes, sometimes they can completely change the result of many hours of conversation. As opposed to taking a break, breaking a relationship is the end of a relationship. Gap is always bad: opportunities are missed. Once again, we remind you of the permissible depth of trust in communication - weigh your desires and opportunities in the relationship.
Business communication has its own characteristics. For any goal, there are always tasks: 1. Evaluate a person from a business point of view. 2. Receive or transmit information. 3. Influence motives and decisions. Ultimately, in any business conversation, it is important to have specific agreements that are perceived by a person not as imposed by you, but as a result of their own beliefs. What does it mean to evaluate a partner from a business point of view? It means figuring out if he can do the job, who he is, what his relationship with others is. Moving on to specifics, explain the task, check understanding, understand whether he will be able to evaluate the work in progress and see the result in perspective; is able to assess the achieved result; whether he wants to do the job, what are the motives and are there conflicting tendencies; is he capable of more complex work, associated with a greater level of responsibility and freedom ... How many people will be engaged in this work, how much time he spends on other work.
In any business conversation, three aspects must be kept in mind: business, personal and dynamics, the spring of the conversation.
Some technical tips. Always set a specific task - if the proposal is specific, the person is more likely to accept it as his own. To feel the plan of the conversation as a whole - then it will leave the sphere of the conscious and will manage. To devote most of the time to the main issue, to be very attentive to the choice of place and time, to take into account the peculiarities of the partner. In the course of the conversation, do not lower the level of goals - the partner's responsibility will fall. You need to be in a creative state, look for options. The results of the conversation must be recorded in any form with the interlocutor. As soon as the goal is achieved or the impossibility of a solution is determined, the conversation should be ended. In doing so, be careful not to cross out the results. Be sure to evaluate the conversation for yourself immediately after it ends and then in a more relaxed atmosphere when the results are determined. Pay attention to whether the conversation was formal or confidential, whether the partner is satisfied, what are you dissatisfied with in yourself, what are the prospects for continuing the business and relationship, whether the conditions and plan of the conversation were chosen correctly, what impression did the partner have of you. Remember, communication is a great gift of nature, it is also a weapon and a tool. You have to be careful with him.
People in their attitude to the communication process are divided into sociable and shy. F. Zimbardo specially researched shy people and described this property in detail in his book "Shyness". “To be shy” means to be a person with whom “it is difficult to communicate because of his caution, timidity and distrust”. A shy person "avoids interacting with certain persons and objects."
Shyness can be a mental illness that cripples a person as much as the worst disease of the body. The consequences can be dire.
Shyness prevents you from meeting new people, making friends, and enjoying potentially enjoyable experiences.
It keeps a person from expressing their opinion and defending their rights.
Your shyness prevents other people from appreciating your personal worth.
It exacerbates over-focus on self and behavior.
Shyness makes it difficult to think clearly and communicate effectively.
Shyness is usually accompanied by negative feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression.
Being shy means being afraid of people, especially those from whom, for some reason, an emotional threat comes: strangers because of their unknown and uncertainty; bosses endowed with power; members of the opposite sex due to the potential for intimate contact.
Stanford Shyness Questionnaire
Here is a sample questionnaire that has already been completed by over 5,000 people around the world. Fill it out at a quick pace and then reread it thoughtfully to see how shyness really defines your life.
1. Do you find yourself shy?
1 = yes; 2 = no.
2. If so, have you always been this way (ie, were you shy before and remain now)?
1 = yes; 2 = no.
3. If you answered no to the first question, was there a time in your life when you were shy?
1 = yes; 2 = no.
If you answered yes to at least one of the three questions, continue on.
4. When shyness is in you, how strong is it?
1 = extremely strong;
2 = very strong;
3 = very strong;
4 = moderately strong;
5 = it is a kind of embarrassment;
6 = I am possessed only by a slight embarrassment.
5. How often do you feel (have) a feeling of shyness?
1 = every day;
2 = almost every day;
3 = often, almost every other day;
4 = once or twice a week;
5 = sometimes - less than once a week;
6 = rarely - once a month or less.
6. Compared to people of your circle, gender, age, how shy are you?
1 = much more shy;
2 = more shy;
3 = about as shy;
4 = less shy;
5 = significantly less shy.
7. How desirable is it for you to be shy?
1 = highly undesirable;
2 = not desirable;
3 = indifferent;
4 = desirable;
5 = highly desirable.
8. Is (was) shyness a personal problem for you?
1 = yes, often;
2 = yes, sometimes;
3 = yes, occasionally;
5 = never.
9. When you feel shy, can you hide it so that others do not think you are shy?
1 = yes, always;
2 = sometimes works, sometimes not;
3 = no, I usually can't hide it.
10. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?
1 = pronounced introvert;
2 = moderately introvert;
3 = slightly introverted;
4 = neutral;
5 = slightly extroverted;
6 = moderate extrovert;
(11 - 19) Which of the following might be causing you to be shy? Make a note of what concerns you.
11. Fear that I will be negatively assessed.
12. Fear of rejection.
13. Lack of self-confidence.
14. Lack of social skills, namely: ........................... …………………………………… ……………….
15. Fear of close relationships.
16. Inclination to solitude.
17. Asocial interests, hobbies, etc.
18. Own imperfection, shortcomings, namely ................... ……………………………………………… ..
19. Other, namely: ........................................... ......... ………………………………………………………………
(20 - 27) Perception of shyness. Do the people below think you are shy? How shy do you think they think you are? Answer using the following points:
1 = extremely shy;
2 = very shy;
3 = very shy;
4 = moderately shy;
5 = somewhat shy;
6 = slightly shy;
7 = not shy;
8 = they don't know;
9 = I do not know their opinion.
20. Your mother?
21. Your father?
22. Your brothers and sisters?
23. Close friends?
24. Your spouse (or intimate friend, girlfriend)?
25. What are your classmates?
26. Your current neighbor?
27. Teachers or leaders, colleagues who know you well?
28. What motivated you when you decided to call yourself shy?
1 = you are shy (or you were shy) at all times and under all circumstances;
2 = you are shy (or were shy) in more than 50% of situations, that is, more often than not shy;
3 = you are shy (or have been shy) only occasionally, but in situations that are important enough for you to be considered shy.
29. Has it ever happened that your shyness was taken for some other trait, for example, indifference, coldness, indecision?
1 = Yes.
Namely: ............................................... ........... ………………………………………………………………….
30. Do you ever feel shy when alone?
32. If yes, please indicate when, how and why ................................. …………… ………………………………………… ..
(33 - 36) What makes you shy?
33. If you are experiencing now or have experienced in the past feelings of shyness, please indicate what situations, activities or types of people cause them. (Check all the items in one way or another.) Situations and activities that make me feel shy:
any communication situations;
large groups of people;
small groups doing collaborative activities (eg classroom seminar, team at work);
small groups of people communicating (for example, at parties, at dances);
one-on-one communication with a representative of the same gender;
one-on-one communication with a representative of the opposite sex;
situations in which I am vulnerable (for example, when I ask for help);
situations in which I occupy a degraded position in comparison with others (for example, when I turn to the authorities);
situations that require asserting their rights (for example, when you have to complain about poor service or poor quality of goods);
situations when I am in the center of attention of a large group of people (for example, giving a report);
situations when I am in the center of attention of a small group of people (for example, when someone introduces me or asks for my opinion);
situations where I am being judged or compared to others (for example, when I am being interviewed or criticized);
any new social contacts;
the likelihood of sexual intimacy;
34. Now go back to the previous question and for each situation, note whether it has caused you to be shy during the last month;
0 = yes, to a great extent;
2 = yes, in no small measure;
3 = generally yes;
4 = only slightly;
5 = definitely not.
35. Types of people that make me shy:
my parents;
my brothers and sisters;
other relatives;
elderly people (much older than me);
children (much younger than me);
a group of representatives of the opposite sex;
one-on-one representative of the opposite sex;
one-on-one representative of my gender.
36. Now, please go back to the previous question and note if you have experienced shyness over the last month when meeting with this category of people:
0 = during the last month - no, but it happened before;
1 = yes, to a great extent;
2 = yes, in no small measure;
3 = generally yes;
4 = only slightly.
(37 - 40) Shyness-related reactions
37. On what basis do you conclude that you are feeling shy?
1 = based on thoughts, experiences and similar internal symptoms;
2 = based on their actions in the given situation;
3 = based on both internal sensations and external reactions.
Physical reactions
38. If you are experiencing or have experienced shyness, which of these physical reactions are characteristic of your condition? Put 0 against those that are not significant, rank the rest from 1 (most typical, frequent, strong) and above 2 - less frequent, etc.
redness of the face;
increased heart rate;
rumbling in the stomach;
tinnitus;
strong heartbeat;
dry mouth;
trembling hands;
excessive sweating;
weakness;
other (indicate what exactly) ........................................ ……… ……………………………………………………
Thoughts and feelings
39. What are the special thoughts and feelings, characteristic of your experience of shyness? Put 0 against those that are not typical for you, rank the rest from 1 (most typical, frequent and strong) and higher (less typical). The same score can be used to mark several items.
Positive thoughts (such as self-satisfaction) no special thoughts (for example, empty dreams, thinking "about nothing"); self-focus (for example, extreme preoccupation with your person, every step you take);
thoughts concentrated on the unpleasant sides of the situation (for example, the thought that my situation is terrible, that I would like to be out of it);
distraction-oriented thoughts (for example, about something else that could be done, that an unpleasant situation will soon end);
negative thoughts about yourself (for example, feeling that I am stupid, inferior, etc.); thoughts about how others evaluate me (for example, thinking about what others think of me);
thoughts about my behavior (for example, what impression I will make and how to improve it) ...
Actions
40. If you are experiencing or have experienced feelings of shyness, in which external actions does it manifest so that others can tell that you are shy? Put 0 against those that are not typical for you, and rank the rest from 1 (most typical, frequent and strong) and higher (less frequent and strong). The same score can be used to mark several items;
I speak very quietly;
avoid people; unable to make eye contact;
I am silent (I cannot speak);
I stutter;
chattering nonsense;
I avoid doing anything;
I try to hide;
other, namely .............................................. ...... ……………………………………………………………
41. What are negative consequences of shyness? (Check those that concern you.)
Arise social problems; it is difficult to meet people and make friends, enjoy communication. Negative emotions arise - feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression.
Shyness prevents others from appreciating me (for example, due to shyness, my accomplishments go unnoticed).
It is difficult to achieve your goal, to express your own opinion, to use the opportunities provided. My shyness encourages others to judge me negatively (for example, I may be unfairly considered unfriendly or arrogant). Difficulties arise in mutual understanding and cognitive processes (for example, in public I cannot think clearly and express my feelings).
Shyness provokes a deepening in oneself.
42. What are positive consequences of shyness? (Check those that apply to you.)
There is an opportunity to give the impression of a modest person, immersed in himself.
Shyness avoids conflict.
Shyness is a convenient form of self-defense.
There is an opportunity to look at others from the outside, to behave in a weighted and reasonable manner.
Negative assessments from others are excluded (for example, a shy person is not considered intrusive, aggressive, pretentious).
Shyness allows me to choose among the likely communication partners those who are more sympathetic to me. Manages to retire and enjoy loneliness.
In an interpersonal relationship, shyness keeps you from humiliating or hurting the other person.
43. Do you think your shyness can be overcome?
3 = not sure.
44. Are you ready to do some serious work on yourself to get rid of shyness?
1 = yes, definitely;
2 = probably yes;
3 = not sure yet;
G. M. AndreevaCOMMUNICATION AND INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 1
Place and nature of interpersonal relationships
Now it is fundamentally important to understand the place of these interpersonal relations in the real system of human life.
In the socio-psychological literature, various points of view are expressed on the question of where interpersonal relations are "located", primarily in relation to the system of social relations. Sometimes they are considered alongside social relations, at the base of them, or, on the contrary, at the highest level (Kuzmin E.S. Osnovy social psychology. L., Leningrad State University, 1967. S. 146), in other cases - as a reflection in the consciousness of social relations (Platonov K, K. On the system of psychology. M., 1974. S. 30), etc. It seems to us (and this is confirmed by numerous studies) that the nature of interpersonal relations can be correctly understood if they are not put on a par with social relations, and see in them a special series of relations that arise within each type of social relations, not outside them (be it “below”, “above”, “sideways” or otherwise). Schematically, this can be represented as a cross-section of a special plane of the system of social relations: what is found in this “cross-section” of economic, social, political and other types of social relations is interpersonal relations (Fig. 1.1).
Rice. 1.1. Interpersonal and social relations
With this understanding, it becomes clear why interpersonal relations seem to “mediate” the impact on the personality of a broader social whole. Ultimately, interpersonal relations are conditioned by objective social relations, but it is precisely in ultimately. Almost both series of relationships are given together, and underestimation of the second row prevents genuine in-depth analysis relationships and first row.
The existence of interpersonal relations within various forms of social relations is, as it were, the implementation of impersonal relations in the activities of specific individuals, in the acts of their communication and interaction.
At the same time, in the course of this realization, relations between people (including social ones) are reproduced again. In other words, this means that in the objective fabric of social relations there are moments emanating from the conscious will and special goals of individuals. It is here that the social and the psychological collide directly. Therefore, for social psychology, the formulation of this problem is of paramount importance.
The proposed structure of relations has a major consequence. For each participant in interpersonal relationships, these relationships may seem to be the only reality in any relationship whatsoever. Although in reality the content of interpersonal relations is ultimately one or another type of social relations, that is, a certain social activity, the content and even more so their essence remain largely hidden. Despite the fact that in the process of interpersonal, and therefore social relations, people exchange thoughts, are aware of their relationship, this awareness often does not go further than the knowledge that people have entered into interpersonal relationships.
Individual moments of social relations are presented to their participants only as their interpersonal relationships: someone is perceived as an “evil teacher”, as a “cunning merchant”, etc. At the level of everyday consciousness, without special theoretical analysis, this is exactly the situation. Therefore, the motives of behavior are often explained by this, given on the surface, picture of relations, and not at all by the actual objective relations behind this picture. Everything is further complicated by the fact that interpersonal relations are the real reality of social relations: outside of them there are no “pure” social relations somewhere. Therefore, in almost all group actions, their participants appear as if in two qualities: as performers of an impersonal social role and as unique human personalities. This gives grounds to introduce the concept of "interpersonal role" as a fixation of a person's position not in the system of social relations, but in a system of only group ties, and not on the basis of his objective place in this system, but on the basis of individual psychological characteristics personality. Examples of such interpersonal roles are well known from everyday life: individuals in a group are said to be a “shirt-guy”, “a guy on the board,” “a scapegoat,” etc. The discovery of personality traits in the style of performing a social role provokes other members of the group respond, and thus a whole system of interpersonal relations arises in the group (Shibutani, 1968).
The nature of interpersonal relations differs significantly from the nature of social relations: their most important specific feature is the emotional basis. Therefore, interpersonal relationships can be viewed as a factor in the psychological “climate” of the group. The emotional basis of interpersonal relationships means that they arise and develop on the basis of certain feelings that people have in relation to each other. In the Russian school of psychology, three types or levels of emotional manifestations of a personality are distinguished: affects, emotions and feelings. The emotional basis of interpersonal relationships includes all types of these emotional manifestations.
However, in social psychology, it is the third component of this scheme that is usually characterized - feelings, and the term is not used in the strictest sense. Naturally, the “set” of these feelings is limitless. However, they can all be summarized in two large groups:
1) conjunctive - this includes all sorts of bringing people together, uniting their feelings. In each case of such an attitude, the other side acts as a desired object, in relation to which a readiness for cooperation, for joint actions, etc is demonstrated;
2) disjunctive feelings - this includes feelings that separate people, when the other side appears as unacceptable, maybe even as a frustrating object, in relation to which there is no desire for cooperation, etc. The intensity of both kinds of feelings can be very different. The specific level of their development, naturally, cannot be indifferent to the activities of the groups.
At the same time, the analysis of only these interpersonal relations cannot be considered sufficient to characterize the group: in practice, relations between people do not develop only on the basis of direct emotional contacts. Activity itself sets another series of relationships mediated by it. That is why it is an extremely important and difficult task of social psychology to analyze simultaneously two series of relations in a group: both interpersonal and mediated by joint activities, i.e., ultimately, the social relations behind them.
Communication in the system of interpersonal
and public relations
Analysis of the connection between social and interpersonal relations allows us to place the correct accents on the issue of the place of communication in the entire complex system of human relations with the outside world. However, first it is necessary to say a few words about the problem of communication in general. The solution to this problem is very specific within the framework of Russian social psychology. The term "communication" itself does not have an exact analogue in traditional social psychology, not only because it is not completely equivalent to the commonly used English term "communication", but also because its content can be considered only in the conceptual dictionary of a special psychological theory, namely the theory activities. Of course, in the structure of communication, which will be considered below, such aspects of it can be distinguished that are described or investigated in other systems of socio-psychological knowledge. However, the essence of the problem, as it is posed in Russian social psychology, is fundamentally different.
Both series of human relations - both social and interpersonal - are revealed and realized precisely in communication. Thus, the roots of communication are in the very material life of individuals. Communication is the implementation of the entire system of human relations. "Under normal circumstances, a person's relationship to the objective world around him is always mediated by his attitude to people, to society" (Leontyev A. A. Communication as an object of psychological research // Methodological problems of social psychology, 1975, p. 289), vol. e. included in communication. Here it is especially important to emphasize the idea that in real communication not only interpersonal relationships of people are given, that is, not only their emotional attachments, hostility, etc. are revealed, but social, that is, impersonal in nature, are also embodied in the fabric of communication. ... A person's diverse relationships are not covered only by interpersonal contact: a person's position outside the narrow framework of interpersonal relationships, in a wider social system, where his place is not determined by the expectations of the individuals interacting with him, also requires a certain construction of a system of his connections, and this process can also be realized only in communication. Without communication, human society is simply unthinkable. Communication appears in him as a way of cementing individuals and at the same time as a way of developing these individuals themselves. It is from this that the existence of communication follows both as a reality of social relations and as a reality of interpersonal relations. Apparently, this made it possible for Saint-Exupery to paint a poetic image of communication as “the only luxury that a person has”.
Naturally, each series of relations is realized in specific forms of communication. Communication as the realization of interpersonal relations is a process more studied in social psychology, while communication between groups rather explored in sociology. Communication, including in the system of interpersonal relations, is forced by the joint life of people, therefore it must be carried out with a wide variety of interpersonal relationships, that is, it is given both in the case of a positive and in the case of a negative attitude of one person to another. The type of interpersonal relationship is not indifferent to how communication will be built, but it exists in specific forms, even when the relationship is extremely aggravated. The same applies to the characterization of communication at the macro level as the implementation of social relations. And in this case, whether groups or individuals communicate with each other as representatives of social groups, the act of communication must inevitably take place, is forced to take place, even if the groups are antagonistic. Such a dual understanding of communication - in the broad and narrow sense of the word - follows from the very logic of understanding the connection between interpersonal and social relations. In this case, it is appropriate to appeal to Marx's idea that communication is an unconditional companion of human history (in this sense, we can talk about the meaning of communication in the "phylogeny" of society) and, at the same time, an unconditional companion in everyday activities, in everyday contacts of people (see. AA Leont'ev, Psychology of Communication, Tartu, 1973). In the first plan, one can trace the historical change in the forms of communication, that is, their change as society develops along with the development of economic, social and other social relations. Here the most difficult methodological question is solved: how in the system of impersonal relations a process appears, which by its nature requires the participation of individuals? Acting as a representative of a certain social group, a person communicates with another representative of another social group and simultaneously realizes two kinds of relations: both impersonal and personal. A peasant, selling a product on the market, receives a certain amount of money for it, and money here is the most important means of communication in the system of social relations. At the same time, the same peasant bargains with the buyer and thus communicates “personally” with him, and the means of this communication is human speech. On the surface of phenomena, a form of direct communication is given - communication, but behind it is communication, forced by the system of social relations itself, in this case by the relations of commodity production. In socio-psychological analysis, one can abstract from the "second plan", but in real life this "second plan" of communication is always present. Although in itself it is the subject of research mainly sociology, and in the socio-psychological approach, it must also be taken into account.
Unity of communication and activity
However, with any approach, the fundamental issue is the connection between communication and activity. In a number of psychological concepts, there is a tendency to oppose communication and activity. So, for example, E. Durkheim ultimately came to such a formulation of the problem when, in polemicizing with G. Tarde, he paid special attention not to the dynamics of social phenomena, but to their statics. Society looked to him not as a dynamic system of acting groups and individuals, but as a set of static forms of communication. The factor of communication in the determination of behavior was emphasized, but at the same time the role of transformative activity was underestimated: the social process itself was reduced to the process of spiritual verbal communication. This gave rise to A. N. Leontiev to notice that with this approach, the individual appears rather “as a communicating, rather than practically acting social being” (Leontiev A. N. Problems of the development of the psyche. M., 1972, p. 271).
In contrast to this, in Russian psychology, the idea is accepted unity of communication and activity. This conclusion logically follows from the understanding of communication as a reality of human relations, which assumes that any forms of communication are included in specific forms of joint activity: people not only communicate in the process of performing various functions, but they always communicate in some activity, “about” it. Thus, an active person always communicates: his activity inevitably intersects with the activity of other people. But it is precisely this intersection of activities that creates a certain relationship of an active person not only to the object of his activity, but also to other people. It is communication that forms the community of individuals performing joint activities. Thus, the fact of communication with activity is ascertained in one way or another by all researchers.
However, the nature of this connection is understood in different ways. Sometimes activities and communication are viewed not as parallel existing interconnected processes, but as two sides social life of a person, his way of life (Lomov B. f. Communication and social regulation of the individual's behavior // Psychological problems of social regulation of behavior. M., 1976. S. 130). In other cases, communication is understood as a certain side activity: it is included in any activity, is an element of it, while the activity itself can be considered as condition communication (A. N. Leont'ev. Activity. Consciousness. Personality. M., 1975. S. 289). Finally, communication can be interpreted as a special kind of activity. Within this point of view, two varieties of it stand out: in one of them, communication is understood as communicative activity, or the activity of communication, acting independently at a certain stage of ontogenesis, for example, in preschoolers and especially in adolescence(Elkonin, 1991). In the other, communication in general is understood as one of the types of activity (meaning, first of all, speech activity), and in relation to it all the elements characteristic of activity in general are found: actions, operations, motives, etc. (A. A. Leontiev. Communication as an object of psychological research // Methodological problems of social psychology. M., 1975. S. 122).
It is hardly very important to clarify the advantages and comparative disadvantages of each of these points of view: none of them denies the most important thing - the undoubted connection between activity and communication, everyone recognizes the inadmissibility of their separation from each other in the analysis. Moreover, the divergence of positions is much more obvious at the level of theoretical and general methodological analysis. As far as experimental practice is concerned, in it all researchers have much more in common than different. This is what is common is the recognition of the fact of the unity of communication and activity and attempts to fix this unity.
The selection of the subject of communication should not be understood vulgarly: people communicate not only about the activity with which they are associated. For the sake of highlighting two possible reasons for communication in the literature, the concepts of "role" and "personal" communication are divorced. Under some circumstances, this personal communication in form can look like role-based, business, “subject-problem” (Kharash A. U. To the definition of tasks and methods of social psychology in the light of the principle of activity // Theoretical and methodological problems of social psychology. M., 1977 . P. 30). Thus, the separation of role and personal communication is not absolute. In certain relationships and situations, both are associated with activities.
The idea of "intertwining" communication with activity also allows us to consider in detail the question of what exactly communication can constitute in activity. In its most general form, the answer can be formulated so that through communication, the activity organized and enriched. Building a plan for joint activities requires each of its participants to have an optimal understanding of its goals and objectives, to understand the specifics of its object and even the capabilities of each of the participants. The inclusion of communication in this process allows for the "coordination" or "mismatch" of the activities of individual participants (A. A. Leont'ev. Communication as an object of psychological research // Methodological problems of social psychology. M., 1975. S. 116).
This coordination of the activities of individual participants is possible due to such a characteristic of communication as its inherent function impact, in which the “reverse influence of communication on activity” is manifested (Andreeva G. M., Yanoushek J. Interrelation of communication and activity // Communication and optimization of joint activity. M., 1987). We will find out the specifics of this function together with consideration of various aspects of communication. Now it is important to emphasize that activity through communication is not just organized, but it is precisely enriched, new connections and relationships between people arise in it.
Communication structure
Given the complexity of communication, it is necessary to somehow designate its structure, so that the analysis of each element is then possible. The structure of communication can be approached in different ways, as well as the definition of its functions. We propose to characterize the structure of communication by highlighting three interrelated sides in it: communicative, interactive and perceptual. The structure of communication can be schematically depicted as follows (Fig. 1.2).
Rice. 1.2. Communication structure
Communicative side of communication, or communication in the narrow sense of the word, consists in the exchange of information between communicating individuals. Interactive the side consists in organizing interaction between communicating individuals, that is, in the exchange of not only knowledge, ideas, but also actions. Perceptual communication side means the process of perception and cognition of each other by communication partners and establishment on this basis of mutual understanding. Naturally, all these terms are rather arbitrary. Sometimes others are used in a more or less analogous sense. For example, three functions are distinguished in communication: information-communicative, regulatory-communicative, affective-communicative (Lomov B.F. Communication and social regulation of individual behavior // Psychological problems of social regulation of behavior. M., 1976. S. 85). The challenge is to carefully analyze, including on an experimental level, the content of each of these aspects, or functions. Of course, in reality, each of these sides does not exist in isolation from the other two, and their isolation is possible only for analysis, in particular, for building a system experimental research... All the sides of communication indicated here are revealed in small groups, that is, in conditions of direct contact between people. Separately, one should consider the question of the means and mechanisms of the influence of people on each other and in the conditions of their joint massive actions, which should be the subject of special analysis, in particular, when studying the psychology of large groups and mass movements.
A. Dobrovich
COMMUNICATION SYSTEM 2
1) General model
When building a general communication model, it is advisable to use R. Jacobson's scheme (1964):
where A -"Addressee", B -"Addressee" of information.
Connection can be direct (in human communication - speech and gestures in the broad sense of the word, including, for example, “vocal gestures”; intonation) or mediated (telephone, teletype, etc.).
Code - the rules of the language (or "bundle" of languages) used to convey the message; context- a predetermined “semantic field” in which the message becomes informative.
2) Contact
By “contact” we mean the case of communication with feedback:
Exactly how “mutual orientation” of partners is understood by K. Bueller (1927) “contact”. For him, contact is "a process of coordinated behavioral changes."
The addressee not only provides information, but also receives a response. In other words, the addressee, having made a message, becomes the addressee; he, having received the message, becomes the addressee. This process can continue as long as you like.
From our point of view, the concept of “formal” (or “informal”) communication is applicable specifically to contact, and not to communication in general. By “formal communication” we will call a contact that is subject to certain restrictions. The meaning of this definition will be disclosed later. In the meantime, we will continue to consider the contact.
3) Contact unit
A transmits to B one “communicative stimulus” (or “communicat”) and receives one response; B receives one stimulus and transmits one in response; there is an "exchange" of communications. Following the psychotherapist E. Berne (1964), let us call such an exchange a “transaction”.
Examples. A gave B a contemptuous look. He defiantly turned away - a transaction had taken place. The same, but B simply looked in the other direction and did not notice the sign of contempt - the transaction did not take place (there was no contact). A told B some news, B smiled without saying a word - the transaction, nevertheless, took place, since a smile is a “gesture,” a communicative stimulus. And as an actor he uttered a spectacular remark, the auditorium (as the addressee) held its breath - the transaction took place. The same - if the audience shouted indignantly, burst out laughing or burst into applause. Human transactions almost always involve the use of several codes at the same time, that is, a "bunch" of languages. The language of words is combined with the language of pauses, intonations, postures and facial expressions.
4) The content of the communicative stimulus
As can be seen from the examples just given, the communicator is capable of carrying both elementary and super-complex information. An example of an elementary one is the so-called “stroking”: information about belonging to one community, about a benevolent attitude towards a partner. An example of super-complex information is the verbal-musical-pantomimic transmission of mystical experience by a priest or shaman.
Let us especially single out the “emotional radical” of the communicative stimulus. If we agree, according to Berne, to call the elementary “positive” stimulus “stroking,” then the elementary “negative” stimulus deserves the name “kick”, “bite” or “prick”. The “shot” is preferable from the point of view of style.
5) Contact partners. Masks
Further development of the scheme concerns the contact partners. Since we are talking about people, each of them has:
a) a set of masks for "impersonal" communication;
6) a person for “interpersonal” communication. Let us now turn to the contact of masks.
Mask - it is a set of signs (speech, gesture), the presentation of which ensures “smooth” and safe interaction in a human group. Examples: a politeness mask. In a public place, the absence of such a mask (an angry or absent-minded expression on the face, a rude tone, too loud laughter, etc.) entails the group's sanctions: criticism, ridicule, aggressiveness. And at the same time, to appear in a mask of politeness among drunken revelers is to cause their irritation or resentment; here a different mask is required: benevolence or loyal non-interference. The grief mask is suitable for a funeral, but not for a wedding, etc. People change masks almost automatically, according to the circumstances.
If only contact of masks is allowed in the communication of partners, that is, a restriction on participation is imposed personalities in conversation, then in front of us the first case of formal communication.
This limitation can be of different nature. There are four types of restrictions imposed on a contact. a) Conventional restrictions. In this social group, there is a “convention” - a custom according to which it is not customary to ask personal questions on the bus to a random companion (“You must have slept badly today?”) Or to report anything from your personal sphere (“You know, I disillusioned with life ”). Accepted only impersonal communicative stimuli of the type: “Allow me? - Please "," Sorry! - It's okay, ”etc. The Convention, therefore, forces the partners to“ impersonal ”contact, to communicate in masks.
b) Situational restrictions. They are close to conventional ones. Special situations in which participation personalities as contact partners only "spoils" the case. Examples: the ceremony of surrendering the changing or divorce of the guard, the Japanese tea ceremony, etc.
c) Emotional limitations. Communication partners are emotionally cold or hostile to each other and, in an effort to prevent conflict, use only masks in contact.
d) Violent restrictions. One of the partners may be ready for interpersonal communication, but the other, for one reason or another, stops these attempts, putting on a mask and forcing his interlocutor to do the same. Restrictions of this kind, as we can see, differ from emotional ones only in some nuances.
Restrictions on contact, according to DS Parygin (1970), create “psychological barriers between people”, replacing genuine communication with “stereotypes”, “standard behavioral reactions”.
Any case of contact of masks can be explained by the listed restrictions or their combination.
6) Personality and position of the person in contact
Personality is a structure of extreme complexity, and we will consider it only in particular aspects that are of the greatest importance in contact. A person as a “communicant” has at least three personal positions. They, according to E. Berne, coexist within the same personality, complementing each other.
a) The position of the child, “child” (position D). Preserved from an early age. Concentrates the strengths and weaknesses of a child's nature. The "strong", apparently, should include relaxedness, creative impulses, impulsive cheerfulness, fantasy, curiosity. To the “weak” - fearfulness, insecurity, helplessness, gullibility, intemperance.
b) The position of the parent (position P). It is learned in childhood through adoration and imitation of elders. Her strengths: confidence in the correctness of moral requirements, the ability to speak with authority, to patronize and protect the weak. Less attractive features: categoricalness, dogmatism, a sense of superiority and the right to “punish”.
c) Adult position (position B). Calculation of actions, control over them, sobriety in assessments, understanding of the relativity of dogmas. At the same time, excessive skepticism, constraint (lack of spontaneity), poverty of fantasy, underestimation of the emotional side of life.
If a person were deprived of any of these positions, his behavior would become “maladaptive”: either too tough, or too loose and careless. However, in a certain unit of time (along the course of contact), one of the positions is leading; the next moment another may prevail.
From what has been said it follows that actually not two, but six partners are involved in the contact:
Addressee Addressee
D D
This circumstance requires a more detailed systematics of transactions. They are subdivided as follows:
7) Complementary transactions
The communicative stimulus is sent by the addressee from the X position and is received by the addressee in the Y position; the response stimulus is sent from the Y position to be received by the partner in the X position.
And v an ov. What happened to the young people? They have completely blossomed.
PETROV. Yes, in their years we were more modest.
In this example, the communicative stimulus is sent from the parent's position (from left to right, as indicated by the arrow). The stimulus is addressed to the “parental” position of the partner. The partner responds from this position (arrow from right to left).
II
Teacher. How did you come up with a three-digit number?
Student. Oh yes: I forgot to take the square root.
III
A bout. Shouldn't we rush to the bar while there is no boss?
Accountant. But rather: I am dying - I want beer.
Examples I, II and III can, as is sometimes done in directing, be called "an extension of partners nearby."
IV
And v an ov. I think you ought to make way for that old lady over there.
PETROV. You are right (gives way). ,
Option: Unfortunately, I am sick and can hardly stand. I hope the lady will excuse me.
And v an ov. Aren't you ashamed to sit when an elderly woman is standing next to you?
PETROV. I'm sorry, I just didn't notice. Thought, you know ...
Option: What are you stuck with? Who are you to tell me ?;
Sidorov a. Show me off: drunks are always huddling at our entrance.
And v an ov. Well, of course I do.
Vii
PETROV. You are so experienced - teach me how to live on.
And v an ov. First of all, you need to rest and calm down.
Option: You are always whining and waiting for advice from others!
Examples IV and V for the partner on the left are “annex on top”; examples VI and VII for the partner on the left are “annex below”.
Often, such transactions are fixed. For example, small talk by unfamiliar retirees may be limited to P-P transactions (see I). A business conversation or diplomatic reception requires fixed BB transactions (see II). In a picnic or costume ball situation, D-D transactions are recorded (see III), while others are considered inappropriate. The teacher-student relationship prescribes transactions in positions P-B(see IV), and between the teacher and the students - R-D (see V). For women, it is natural (and desirable) to have transactions with a man of type B-P (see VI) or even DR (see VII). Transactions type D-R constantly arise between the patient and the psychotherapist, and a change in mutual position during contacts was considered prohibited until recently.
If we defined the contact of masks as the first case of formal communication, then with fixed transactions we are faced with the second case; there is a restriction on changing positions. As in the previous case, the limitation can be conventional, situational, emotional, violent, or mixed in nature.
8) Transactions without complementarities
Here, the partner's response stimulus either comes from the wrong position where the initial stimulus was directed, or is addressed to a different position from which this initial stimulus was sent.
And v an ov. What happened to the young people? They have completely blossomed.
PETROV. Remember, when we were young, our parents said the same thing.
A bout. Shouldn't we go to the movies while there are no bosses?
Accountant. Ashamed, you're at work!
Cases of type VIII and IX we call non-complementary transactions, but "with taking into account the address ”. Indeed: the right partner in these examples responds from the wrong position from which expected, but addresses the original position of the left partner.
A bout. Shouldn't we go to the movies while there are no bosses?
Accountant. Be so kind as to hand me the bill for the month of July.
XI
Cases X and XI are “no address” transactions. Indeed: the right partner not only answers from an unexpected position, but also does not address the original position of the left partner.
Case XI depicts a so-called "cross" transaction. Here are more examples of the same type.
Husband. Have you seen my cufflinks?
W e n a. Do you always find fault with me? Why am I obliged to remember everything?
Family Take a bag, brother, and go get some bread.
Step n. Too lazy to come off the sofa? Take it yourself!
Cross-transactions often mean a quarrel between partners. In general, transactions without complementarity usually contain a painful "prick" for at least one of the participants in the contact.
If transactions of type VIII - XIII determine the whole contact stroke, i.e. limitation is imposed on any complementarity, before us the third case of formal communication. We will call such communication “conflict”. The nature of the restriction is most often emotional or violent.
And however, if the restriction is imposed on any of the two “emotional radicals” of the communicative stimulus, then this is - fourth case of formal communication. We are talking about the prohibition of "pricks" (salon chirping, where only mutual strokes are allowed) or the prohibition of stroking (the traditional picking of partners, who are prescribed to act only as opponents of each other; the extreme case is Montague and Capulet).
9) Hidden transactions
A communicative stimulus can consist of two (or three) messages, each of which is addressed to different positions of the partner. The message that most closely matches the “conventions” and context of the conversation is considered explicit; the other turns out to be “hidden,” indirect.
XIV
And v an ov. Come to me, I live alone. Let's drink hot tea ... (I like you very much.)
Petrova Yes, it would be helpful - to warm up with tea ... (You to me too.)
Xv
PETROV. I will now give you the floor. (I see you are eager to show off in the podium.) And v an ov. Hm! (I may not perform at all if you intend to make a laughing stock of me.) Xvi
PETROV. I will now give you the floor. (I can imagine how you will deal with them!)
And v an ov. Fine! (Don't worry, I'll give them some pepper.)
Salesman. This thermos would suit you the best ... (I just don't know if you can afford the expense.)
P about ku p and t e l n and ts a. I take it, this is exactly what I need.
The latent transactions in Examples XV, XVI, and XVII are clearly provocative. However, in some cases, such a provocation is not intentional. If we go back to the cross-transactions of examples XI, XII and XIII, then, strictly speaking, these are most likely cases of unintentional provocations. The picture here, apparently, is as follows.
Husband. Have you come across my cufflinks? (Sorry honey to distract you, I'm so distracted.)
W e n a. You always lose everything, you can't live without a nanny!
HPa
Husband. Have you seen my cufflinks?
W e n a. Why are you picking on me? Why am I obliged to remember everything?
Although the use of hidden transactions sometimes leads to cross-transactions and further - to broken complementarity or to a break in communication (ie, to a quarrel), it should be noted the special role of this “hidden” interaction in arousing the feelings of the interlocutors. The limitation on hidden transactions is the fifth case of formal communication. The contact becomes “dry”, “boring”, “painful” for the partner. Such a restriction can be both conventional-situational (business meeting) and emotionally violent (conversation of hostile and alert people) by nature.
Before moving on, one should dwell on the violent restrictions on contact. Such restrictions refer to the cases of "games", meaning the "loss" of the partner who was limited in communication or in achieving their goals. We would prefer to call these cases “manipulations”. Communicative manipulations of people are often far from innocent games. Unlike sports, card games, and the like, which can be “fair” or “dishonest,” manipulation is always dishonest. Let's talk about them in more detail.
10) Manipulation
By structure, they can be divided into "Single-cycle" and "Multi-cycle". An example of a single-cycle TRAP manipulation is the case of the Seller-Buyer (see XVII), although such manipulation often consists of many “bars” - clever “moves”. Example XI is sometimes a one-cycle variant of SLAMING THE DOOR manipulation:
M u w (friendly). Have you seen my cufflinks?
W e n a. You always lose everything, you can't live without a nanny!
(The husband, having exploded, leaves the room, slamming the door hard. For some reason, the wife wanted this).
One more example: one-cycle variant of manipulation ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. The father of the family is poring over the drawings, which he does not know how to do and does not like. The son knocks and enters with the question: "Mom is calling for dinner - are you going?" The grief-draftsman puts a blot on a drawing paper and exclaims fiercely: "What have you done, it's all because of you!"
Multi-cycle manipulation consists of a series of transactions.
Example: multi-cycle manipulation SLAMING THE DOOR: M u w (friendly). I wonder where the key to this box went. Didn't you come across?
W e n a. Blind, or what? There, by the mirror.
Husband. What does “go blind” have to do with it - things should be in their places.
W e n a. You and your momma do not miss the opportunity to tell me nasty things.
Another example: deadlock manipulation. The wife feels that her husband has begun to feel weary about her. Meanwhile, he brings tickets to the theater for a performance that has long been of interest to both. In the course of the excited dressing up of his wife, however, he makes her a sharp remark: "You are always digging!"
Never mind, we'll have time for a taxi.
By taxi? What extravagance! This is what I have to work for like the accursed one!
If he manages to provoke his wife to return "injections", the manipulation turns into SLAMMING THE DOOR. The husband goes to his acquaintances, leaving his wife, if she please, to rush to the theater herself. At the same time, on the one hand, he achieved what he wanted, on the other, he is not responsible for the scandal. After all, none other than he brought the tickets! The wife is driven into a “dead end”.
Sometimes there are long (and planned) breaks between a series of manipulative transactions. This is the TRY TAKE manipulation. Petrov took a rare book from Ivanov. Ivanov asks to return her. Petrov expresses his readiness to do this, several times “forgets” about his promise, and then invites Ivanov to visit. Accepting him, he behaves in such a way that he feels flattered. However, as if by the way, Petrov drops the phrase: “I hope you came to us not only because of your book?” This makes it difficult for Ivanov to remember the book, and he leaves with nothing. The next day, Petrov throws up his hands: "We started talking and forgot about the book!" Ivanov is forced to answer: "It's okay." Taking advantage of this, Petrov immediately seeks permission to give the book to his friend N. - "just for a couple of days." Further, warning Ivanov's question about the book, he again invites him to visit, etc.
From the point of view of the “benefit” of the manipulator, it is possible to subdivide manipulations into life-saving and psychologically beneficial (although often one is combined with the other). Everyday profitable, for example, TRAP, DEADLOCK, TRY TAKE. A striking example of worldly beneficial manipulation is the so-called SANDWICH. The husband asks his wife not to throw away yesterday's cutlets, but to make a sandwich out of them and wrap them up at work (although the wife knows that there is a buffet at work where they eat tasty and inexpensive food). This continues day after day and has a very specific purpose: to prevent the wife from asking for a new coat. A “context” is created in which such a request would sound inappropriate and even impudent.
Psychologically beneficial manipulation ALL FOR YOU, described earlier. It is a typical scapegoat for clearing the conscience. Psychological gains, in addition to clearing your conscience, may also lie in receiving “strokes” to which you have the right not to respond, in inflicting unpunished “injections” or in an “extension from above”.
Examples. ALCOHOLIC manipulation. The drunkard turns to a benevolent acquaintance with repentance and requests for advice. An acquaintance sincerely sympathizes with him and discusses his problems with him.
After a long conversation, the alcoholic, however, reveals that he was left inconsolable. Thus, firstly, he clears his conscience, and secondly, he receives “strokes”, which he has not been given for a long time; and thirdly, without confirming the value of the consolations he had heard, he leaves the partner without reciprocal stroking. Sometimes, for an “extension from above,” he also resorts in the finale to a sensitive “prick”: “What can you, a teetotaler, understand in the soul of a drinker?” (in fact, this is a transaction R-D: addressing the "wise" to the "naive child"),
Manipulation COULD NOT YOU? - YES, BUT ...
D a m a. My TV hasn't worked for a month.
About d and z g o s t e. Could you ask your husband to fix it?
D a m a. Yes, but my husband is absolutely helpless in these matters.
Other Then call the master.
D a m a. Yes, but the master will most likely require that the TV be taken to the workshop.
Third guest. Why don't you do it?
D a m a. Yes, but I don't have time to hang out on the phone for an hour, ordering a taxi.
FOURTH GUEST. So ask your husband about it.
D a m a. What are you, this is a helpless person ...
The conversation fades into an awkward silence. The lady is secretly triumphant: the guests gave her a whole bunch of “strokes”, sympathizing or at least pretending to be sympathetic. At the same time, she is not obliged to “give away” their stroking in response.
Manipulation IF IT WERE NOT YOU. The husband constantly tells his wife that “if it weren't for you,” he would have finished his dissertation long ago. One fine day, the wife is going to stay with her children for two weeks with her relatives. The husband, however, is not happy with the idea. He is forced to undertake new manipulation (for example, an IMAGINATED SICK) in order to detain his wife. In fact, he needed to clear his conscience, and at the same time maintain a sense of guilt in his wife, making it easier for him to "attach from above."
Manipulation HOME SAGE. Someone accustom his environment to the idea that he is able to disinterestedly give wise advice. Skillfully encouraging the pilgrimage of those seeking advice, he secretly keeps track of his victories - "extensions from above." The manipulative nature of such actions is revealed by the fact that the “sage” himself does not tolerate anyone’s advice. An extension “near” or “below” is considered by him as a loss.
Another manipulation. Its children's version is presented in the novel Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. A girl in a clean starched dress comes out onto the porch and asks the boy, her adorer, to mold her a pie from the sand. The boy rushes to fulfill this request, after which the girl grimaces; "Phew, how dirty, disgusting you are - covered in sand." The manipulation can be appropriately called SAND PIE. Its adult version is often associated with sexual negativism of one of the spouses. A woman can reproach a man that he is an “animal” and feels only attraction to her, but not love. Under this pretext, she provokes a prolonged cooling in the relationship. Nevertheless, after a while, she resorts to coquetry, affection, etc., giving the man a reason to be more persistent. However, in response to his more decisive claims, she bursts into tears: "What did I say - you're just an animal!" Thus, she manages, on the one hand, to avoid relationships that are unpleasant for her, on the other, to preserve the appearance of marriage, to keep the man “with her”.
A simple manipulation model might look like this:
PETROV. I will now give you the floor. (I can imagine how you will deal with them!) Petrov's hidden transaction carries with it “stroking”.
And v an ov. Fine. (I'll give them some pepper.)
PETROV. Well, go to the podium. (Just don't mumble, for God's sake!)
Petrov's hidden transaction is an offensive "prick".
And v an ov. I'm coming.
Option: Huh? .. (Ivanov, not finding what to answer, obediently goes to the podium.)
In the variant “I go, I go,” Ivanov accepts a forced extension from below; in the "A?" he does not have the opportunity to inflict a reciprocal "prick" and involuntarily finds himself "in the stalls". The witnesses of this scene suppress laughter.
Manipulators are often psychologically perverted people (sadistic inclinations). They are dangerous for the partner and force him to be on the alert in the future, that is, to apply formally - up to the contact of the masks. Moreover, one of the “pleasures” of the manipulator is again at any cost to remove the partner “from under the mask” in order to then again inflict a humiliating “injection” on him.
If the contact as a whole is a series of manipulations and nothing more, we are undoubtedly sixth case of formal communication. Here one of the partners forcibly restricts the actions of the other.
However, one should not forget that manipulation is sometimes resorted to out of unconscious craftiness or intuitively pursuing mutually beneficial goals. Thus, the SLAMMING OF THE DOOR is sometimes provoked by a loving woman. Following the manipulation, her communication with a man becomes formal for a while. But this is unusual for a man and is extremely burdensome for him. Feelings of guilt, attachment to a woman, or at least boredom prompts him to take the first step towards reconciliation, which turns out to be all the more fervent, the colder the formal streak of relationships was. In this way, at times, a tarnished marriage is “revived”. Formalization of contacts serves in this example the task of more complete informal (intimate) communication.
In psychological science, a lot of research is carried out in which one or another simpler or more complex phenomenon is illuminated by itself, not in connection with other phenomena, and this always impoverishes the value of the results obtained, because it is possible to truly understand the essence of any phenomenon, only by comprehending it in interaction with other phenomena.
The foregoing is fully applicable to the state of studying such a complex psychological phenomenon as communication, as well as such personal education as an attitude. Indeed, to date, many works have been carried out in which communication and attitude are analyzed separately from each other, while they must be considered in conjunction. After all, numerous facts indicate that the attitude is manifested and formed, as a rule, in communication. On the other hand, the relationships existing among communicating persons always affect many characteristics of this process. Let's try to show this interdependence in more detail. But first, let's recall the content that is customary in psychology to associate with the concepts of communication and relationship.
When they talk about communication, they usually mean the interaction between people, carried out using the means of verbal and non-verbal influence and with the aim of achieving changes in the cognitive, motivational, emotional and behavioral spheres of the persons involved in communication. As you know, attitude is understood as a psychological phenomenon, the essence of which is the emergence of a person's mental education, accumulating in itself the results of cognition of a specific object of reality (in communication, this is another person or a community of people), the integration of all emotional responses to this object, as well as behavioral responses to it.
The most important mental component of the relationship, in which the opinions of many scientists coincide, is the motivational-emotional component, which signals the valence of the relationship - positive, negative, contradictory or indifferent.
When one person enters into communication with another, then both of them fix the peculiarities of each other's external appearance, “read” the experienced states, perceive and interpret the behavior in one way or another, in one way or another decipher the goals and motives of this behavior. And the appearance and state, and behavior, and the goals and motives attributed to a person always cause some kind of attitude in the person communicating with him, and it can be differentiated in nature in strength, depending on which side in the other person caused it. So, for example, the external appearance of another person can awaken in the person communicating with him a feeling of admiration, or anxiety, or bewilderment, the ascribed goals and motives can cause protest. According to their sign, as can be seen from the given example, the relations can differ markedly from each other, but they can also coincide, acting as one common, positive, negative, indifferent or contradictory attitude towards the personality. In some cases, the named relations turn out to be the same in their strength, in others - therefore, the shows are very dissimilar. There are psychological situations when one side of the relationship more or less significantly dominates the rest. For example, someone may like the appearance of another person, the manner of being in public, indestructible optimism, but at the same time cause extreme outrage at the political views of the person with whom this person communicates.
In some cases, this dominant aspect can reach such high degree intensity, which turns out to be neutralized or inhibited all other aspects of the relationship, which were usually actualized in a person when communicating with a certain person.
This begs the question: what is the reason for the appearance of such a dominant in a relationship?
One possible answer is this: every person has a value system; some of them are always more subjectively significant, others less. In addition, these values are closely mated with the material and spiritual needs that he has, which usually differ from each other in their degree of expression. But it can be differently: one of these values and the need behind it are of paramount importance for the personality, and if another person commits an act that meets the maintenance of this value, a positive attitude is established towards him, which plays an important role in all aspects of his external and internal appearance, leveling the negative attitude to some characteristics, if it was before. In the same way, if another person allows himself an action that runs counter to the main value of the personality and contradicts its basic need, he will cause a sharply negative attitude towards himself, which neutralizes at best positive previous reactions to manifestations of other aspects of this person's character. A special problem in the study of the interdependencies of communication and relationship is to establish the correspondence between the nature and ways of expressing the relationship. Forming as individuals in a specific social environment, people also learn the language of expression of relations characteristic of this environment. It is not for nothing that speaking now about the peculiarities of the expression of relations noted among representatives of various ethnic communities, it is important to keep in mind that even within the boundaries of one ethnic community, but in its different social groups, the named language can have its very specific specifics.
An intelligent person can express his discontent in a correct, not degrading form of another person. A completely different form of expression of this discontent in a poorly educated, rude person. Even among representatives of one social subgroup, the manifestations of relationships can be different, if, for example, they have different types of temperament. Naturally, in order to adequately perceive and understand his attitude when communicating with another person, one must show a very subtle observation, including in relation to the form of expression of this attitude. Of course, one should not think that attitude is conveyed only through speech and voice. In live, direct communication, both facial expressions and pantomime serve this purpose. And, finally, both action and deed can become a form of expression of a relationship.
At the same time, it should be noted that there are not only individual forms of expression of the same relationship - there are cases when a person in communication skillfully imitates the manifestation of a relationship without actually experiencing it. Such a person does not necessarily turn out to be a hypocrite. Most often, such imitation takes place for a completely different reason: from the desire in the eyes of people whose opinion we value, to seem better than we really are. We envy our more successful colleague, but pretend to be happy about his success. We do not like the leadership style of our boss, and we not only do not contradict him, but out loud we approve of his deeds. Of course, in such cases, people enter into a deal with their conscience, and the moral cost is the higher, the greater the social consequences of our duplicity.
What has been said does not mean a call never, under any life circumstances, to hide one's true attitude to something or to someone. For example, in the work of a doctor, investigator, trainer, situations sometimes arise when they cannot solve their professional tasks without masking the experienced relationship.
Interpersonal communication differs from inter-role communication in that the participants in such communication try, solving their problems, to make an amendment when choosing behavior that conveys an attitude, for individually unique characteristics of each other. It is pertinent to add that the ability to psychologically skillfully instruct the form of expression of their relations is extremely necessary for persons whose main activity is the upbringing of children, youth and adults.
Discussing the problem of the relationship between communication and relationship, as well as the relationship between the content of the relationship and the form of its expression, it should be emphasized that a person's choice of the most psychologically appropriate form of expressing his attitude in communication occurs without tension and conspicuous deliberation, if he has formed the mental properties of the personality, which are essential for successful interpersonal communication. This is, first of all, the ability to identify and decentralize, empathy and self-reflection.
The above analysis of the relationship between communication and relationship is somewhat simplified, since it was mainly about the relationship of only one of the participants in communication to the other; in addition, the listed dependences were considered to a large extent in statics, and not in dynamics.
In real communication, even between two people, everything looks much more complicated: the implementation of certain goals by each of the participants under the influence of various motives, the use of various methods of influence for this; fixing by them changes in the emotional mood of each other, assumptions about the intentions of the communication partner; the guesses of each participant about how he is perceived and how his partner relates to him; more or less correction by each of his behavior; really manifested in communication, communication, after all, can only - just begin between people who have met, so to speak, here and now, but it can also occur between people who have known each other for a long time, belonging to the same community or to completely different social associations of people.
All this means that for the real completeness of the analysis of communication and its connections with relations, it is necessary to evaluate at least the main objective and subjective characteristics of this process, bearing in mind also one and the other people interacting in it.
The fact that the participants in communication experience a deeply hostile attitude towards each other or sympathize with each other just as strongly, necessarily affects the ease and sincerity of communication, the degree of ease of developing a common opinion, the psychological consequences with which each of the participants "leaves" held communication. The psychological mechanism of the action of the attitude on the unfolding process of communication is quite understandable: hostile attitude makes the person blind to the merits of the communication partner and pushes to underestimate the positive steps on his part aimed at the successful outcome of communication, if any. In the same way, hostile attitude provokes a person into behavior that does not lead to a deepening of mutual understanding of the communicants, to the establishment of genuine cooperation between them. On the contrary, the attitude of sympathy contributes to the predominant fixation in the external and internal appearance of the other participant in communication, in his behavior of positive characteristics, "works" to create a common attitude, to mutual understanding, to the maximum success of communication.
If the relations of the participants in communication, so to speak, are asymmetric, for example, one of the communicators shows ardent love for the other, and this other feels hostility towards his communication partner and even, perhaps, hatred, normal interpersonal communication will not occur. Most often, on the part of one of the communicators there will be the attitude of one of its participants to another, attempts at genuine interpersonal interaction, and on the part of the other, either communication at a formal level, or rough attempts to put the communication partner in place, or outright avoidance of communication.
The considered connection between relationship and communication has a more general social significance. The facts when the generality of the situation in which people find themselves, deeply affecting their motivational and need-related sphere, prompts them, to use the words of A.N. Radishchev, to be co-indignant, to grieve and through communication to weaken the experienced state of internal tension, everyday life gives us a lot. If the communicators were interested in each other and, being in the same position, through direct interaction more or less successfully normalized their state, then one can recall a large number of other situations in life, when, in the presence of a positive attitude towards each other and a general attunement to communication, its participants enter into this communication, having a diametrically opposite emotional personal attitude: if one, tormented by some problem, seeks to pour out his soul, then the second, showing participation, patiently listens to the story of the first and thus helps him to reduce or completely remove internal tension.
We traced the influence of the nature of the treatment of those communicating with each other on the formation of their relationship, as well as the already existing relationship on the form of their behavior in communication. But the attitude determines the content of communication no less. If a person is deeply interested in the personality and activities of Peter the Great and is introduced to a historian who is a connoisseur of Peter's Rus and the reforms of this reformer tsar, naturally, he will turn the conversation with a specialist historian into the area of interest to him. Thus, interest will directly influence the content of communication. Or let's take another case. A person is suspiciously worried about the state of his health and is presented to him good fellow, who out of frail and infirm made himself immune to the common ailments of most people and physically strong, which he is also very proud of. It is quite obvious, and here the attitude will affect the content of communication.
From all that has been said above about attitude, it also follows that it also carries an impulse to action. Its strength as an Incentive is directly dependent on the degree of involvement of the attitude in the system of human values and its connection in this system with the dominant values. For example, if the main value for a person is money, his attitude towards them will stimulate actions aimed at their accumulation, and if the norms of high morality are not included in the system of values of this person, then this accumulation will be achieved by him by any means.
The role of attitude as an incentive to action cannot be underestimated in any way, since the nature of the personality's activity depends on the characteristics of the relationships formed in individuals, first of all, the direction of this activity and its level, including in communication. On the other hand, it is clear that the course and results of communication have a strong influence on the relations of the communicators, strengthening or weakening them, and it happens, and reforming them to the opposite. It turns out that a person, prompted to communicate by one attitude, continues his communication or stops it, prompted by a completely different attitude.
So, joining in communication under the influence of the urge to break the prolonged silence that seemed unnatural, a person suddenly discovers that the subject with whom he spoke is his antipode in assessing the events taking place in society. This fact generates a new attitude - annoyance due to the fact that the new acquaintance is not like-minded, and immediately there is an urge to try to convince him or, in the absence of hope of success, to stop communicating with him.
At the same time, a person entering into communication with another person does not necessarily have an unambiguous attitude to the object about which she interacts with this person.
It can also be contradictory. For this reason, the motives forcing a person to be active in communication make his behavior inconsistent.
These connections between different characteristics of communication and relations, traced in the very first approximation, show how great their significance is in the subjective world of each person, how important their role is in determining a person's mental well-being, in determining the picture of his behavior. Therefore, it is extremely important to develop systematic research at the theoretical, experimental and applied levels of all the most significant aspects of the interdependencies of communication and attitude. When planning these studies, it is necessary to clearly see that all the main areas of psychological science should take part in the study of the interrelationships of communication and relations, and, of course, teachers involved in the development of the theory and methodological tools of education.
Introduction
Among the factors that shape personality, in psychology, work, communication and cognition are distinguished. Communication is a connection between people, during which there is a mental contact, manifested in the exchange of information, mutual influence, mutual experience, mutual understanding. We can say that communication is aimed at establishing mental contact between people; its purpose is to change the relationship between people, establish mutual understanding, influence knowledge, opinions, attitudes, feelings and other manifestations of personality orientation; means - various forms of personal self-expression. Contacts between people in communication are a necessary condition for the existence of an individual.
V last years in science, along with the concept of "communication", the concept of "communication" is used. In scientific publications, you can find a different understanding of the relationship between the concepts of "communication" and "communication". In psychology, it is more correct to establish the following relationship between them. Communication is a broader concept, communication is a connection, the interaction of two systems, during which a signal carrying information is transmitted from one system to another. For example, two electronic computers are connected by cable or radio. Each one works according to the program laid down in it. If they exchange information, we can say that there is communication between them. Bee Dance Signaling to other bees about the direction and distance to feed, there is also communication. The pilot is flying the plane. There is a communication "man - machine". By means of instruments, the pilot determines the mode of operation, the serviceability of the main components, and the flight conditions. Based on this data, management is carried out. However, in all the examples considered, there is no connection between people, the influence of one personality on another. Because of this, they do not reflect the specifics of communication.
Communication is the exchange of information between people. A person can communicate with other people not only in direct contact. Watching TV, reading a book, and perceiving art are also acts of communication. S. Obraztsov wrote: “The meeting with the buffalo of the Spanish cave evokes such excitement because it is not a meeting with an animal, but with a person who painted the bison. Meeting through the millennia. And this meeting is always personal. Always a meeting of two. "
Thus, the concept of communication is narrower in comparison: with the concept of communication. In social psychology, you can find a different understanding of the relationship between people (labor, economic, etc.), and communication is considered as a special case of communication associated with the exchange of information
Emphasizing the role of communication as a specific factor in the formation of the psyche, B.F. Lomov writes: "When we, having studied the lifestyle of a particular individual, we cannot limit ourselves to analyzing only what and how he does, we must also investigate with whom and how he communicates ...".
Communication involves the transfer of information. The content of communication is scientific and everyday knowledge. In a history lesson, the teacher tells the facts of the distant past of our Motherland, the student explains to his friend the Pythagorean theorem, Coulomb's law. Students - red trackers jointly search for documents, belongings of the heroes of the Civil and Patriotic Wars, together they visit the veterans of the October Revolution. What they find and recognize, the interaction that arises and is carried out, is the content of communication.
In communication, skills and abilities can be transferred. A labor teacher tells and shows how to use a locksmith's tool, how to work metal with it. In a physical education lesson, the teacher forms motor skills in schoolchildren and thus teaches them to control their body.
The content of communication can be a person: his appearance, character traits, demeanor, etc. We meet with friends, relatives. It gives us joy to be together, to see each other, to “breathe the same air”. In this regard, an episode from the television movie "Seventeen Moments of Spring" is indicative. Stirlitz (Soviet intelligence officer) met with his wife in a small cafe on the territory of a "neutral" country teeming with Nazi spies. They looked at each other without uttering a word, without pretending that they knew each other, that they were close people. At the same time, they were possessed by the most complex gamut of feelings, they felt a great desire to rush to each other, to say a lot, to ask. Their mutual perception, unspoken, undetected thoughts and feelings under the given circumstances were still the content of communication.
Relationships and relationships that fill communication, give it a unique flavor, color, dictate the means, manner of communication should be recognized as the original content of communication. The whole communication system of a given person depends on what kind of relationship develops.
All these are just separate signs of the content of communication. Each person has a lot of specific topics for communication, and the more diverse there are, the more communication, the wider the circle of communication he is included, the richer and more meaningful his personality.
Communication means
The external appearance of a person consciously changes and, to a certain extent, is created by him. The appearance consists of a physiognomic mask, clothing, demeanor. Physiognomic mask - the dominant facial expression - is formed under the influence of thoughts, feelings, relationships that often arise in a person. Hairstyle, cosmetics, plastic surgery significantly contribute to the creation of a mask. You can note the evil, kind, arrogant, benevolent and other physiognomic masks. Complements the appearance and clothing, which is often an indicator of class, estate, professional affiliation. It is no coincidence that in medieval cities the form of clothing that certain estates could wear was clearly regulated. Violation of this regulation was severely punished. And now the form of clothing obliges one to a certain type of behavior. The military uniform requires discipline. The gaiety of a man in mourning clothes seems strange to us. The man's manners, his position, self-esteem, attitude towards the person with whom he communicates are seen in the demeanor. To establish contacts between people for the meaningful and emotional side of communication, the appearance of a person has great importance: on its basis, the first impression is formed, which often determines the development of relations.
The external appearance and physiognomic mask are static. The dynamic side of communication is manifested in gestures and facial expressions. Mimicry is a dynamic facial expression at the moment of communication. A gesture is a socially worked-out movement that conveys mental states. Both facial expressions and gestures are developing as social means of communication, although some of the elements that make up them are innate. So, in physiological studies, it was noticed that when objects are perceived, they cause pleasure, the pupil expands. A positive attitude towards the subject is manifested in the desire to get closer to it, expressed in broad gestures. Remember the metaphorical expression "Welcome with open arms." On the other hand, the social dependence of facial expressions and gestures is confirmed by the fact that in different cultures the same facial expressions and gestures can have diametrically opposite meanings. For example, wide open eyes for a Japanese is a sign of anger, for a European - friendliness and surprise.
The exchange of objects and things belongs to non-verbal means of communication. By passing objects to each other, people thereby establish contacts. This method of communication originates in the distant past, when, at the dawn of human society, the exchange of products, tools of labor was almost the only way of communication between tribes. Nowadays, this method has acquired a special meaning. Modern man is inconceivable outside of material activity, he must interact using objects, things. In the brigade, they work; at the assembly of the machine, communication is carried out through speech: a plan is developed, a sequence of work, the responsibilities of each are distributed. When work begins, many operations are performed without speech support: acceptance - handing over parts, tools. Another example, the celebration of housewarming is accompanied by the presentation of gifts: as a rule, the items needed in a new apartment. It is the act of communicating with a thing.
In the last century, the custom of presenting a bouquet of flowers with meaning was widespread. A system of rules was developed, according to which the type of flowers, their arrangement in a bouquet had a certain meaning. Flowers are given today, thereby expressing an attitude, but the semantic load of building a bouquet has been lost.
A means of communication is also tactile-muscle sensitivity. Mutual contact; muscular tension for movement directed at another person, or withholding from him - these are the limits of this kind of communication. Specific manifestations of it can be a handshake, finding a child in the mother's arms, martial arts among athletes (wrestlers, boxers, etc.). With the help of tactile-muscular sensitivity, a person learns physical strength, some personality traits, the relationship of another person, in turn shows some of his own qualities and expresses an attitude towards him. Tactile-muscle sensitivity allows a person to determine the degree of physical impact on another person, the nature and extent of interaction with him. Tactile-muscle sensitivity is the main channel for obtaining information from the outside world and the main means of communication for people who are deprived of hearing and sight, and thus deprived of the opportunity to naturally master sound speech.
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