Love lyrics by N. A. Nekrasov, or rather intimate lyrics, is something new in Russian poetry of the 19th century, and when you have to read the verse “Yes, our life was rebellious” by Nikolai Alekseevich Nekrasov, it becomes clear why.

The text of Nekrasov's poem “Yes, our life was rebellious” was first published in 1850 and belongs to the so-called “Panayev's cycle”. This cycle, as they say in literature lessons in high school, is a kind of diary novel in which the poet, without hiding anything, talks about the complex relationships of the lyrical heroes. It is easy to recognize Nekrasov himself and Avdotya Panaeva in them. The poet's beloved woman, like himself, is depicted in verses with utmost frankness. This is not a "genius pure beauty”, But a capricious, spoiled, selfish woman with a difficult fate. It is impossible to perceive all the works of the "Panaev's cycle" unambiguously, and that is why it is very difficult to study them completely.

You can get acquainted in detail with this poem of the “Panayevsky cycle” on our website online. It is possible to download the text for classes.

Yes, our life was rebellious
Full of anxiety, full of loss
It was inevitable to part -
And now I'm glad for you!
But since then everything around me is deserted!
I can't give myself to anything with love,
And life is boring and time is long
And I am cold to my work.
I would not know why I get out of bed
If not for a thought: maybe they flew
Today, at last, the cherished sheets
In which you will tell me:
Are you healthy? what do you think? is it easy
Do you breathe under the distant sky?
Are you sad, regretting the same fate,
Do you willingly obey fate?
I wish that sleepy oblivion
For a long time, it came down to my soul,
If only my imagination
I could not wander in the past ...
Past! his magical power
Conquering, I relive again
And the first movement of passion
So violently agitated the blood
And a long struggle with myself,
And not killed by the struggle
But every day the simmering love is stronger.
How long have you been harsh
How you wanted to believe me
And as I believed and hesitated again,
And how I fully believed!
(Happy day! I distinguish it
In a family of ordinary days;
From him I count my life,
I celebrate it in my soul!)
I remembered everything ... with one memory,
I live in the past -
And what seemed like suffering to us,
And now I call you happiness ...

And you? .. are you so devoted to sorrow? ..
And is it the same in some memories
Amid voluntary exile
Is your soul submerged?
Or new splendid nature,
And life is boiling, and full freedom
You have been carried away forever
And you fell out of love in the distance
Everything that is painful and sweet so sometimes
Were we happy with you?
Tell! I must know ... How strange I love!
I wish you happiness and pray
But the thought that you are oppressed by the longing of separation
My soul softens the torment ...

Nikolai Nekrasov and Avdotya Panaeva met in 1845. Nekrasov was just recognized in the literary world, and even then - in to a greater extent as a critic rather than a poet. Avdotya Yakovlevna was already known as the mistress of the most popular literary salon and one of the first beauties of St. Petersburg. She was married to the writer Ivan Panaev, was not happy in marriage, but managed to get used to it. Nekrasov was a year younger than her, but if he had heartfelt passions before, then nothing about themit is not known. Yes, and not up to romantic feelings for him, it was, he struggled too desperately with poverty. And for sure - love for Panaeva became the first serious love in the poet's life.
Nikolai Alekseevich Nekrasov was a creative person in all respects, and he even approached the question of his own biography so creatively that researchers had to suffer a lot until they got to the bottom of the truth. He was born on November 28, 1821 in the Ukrainian town of Nemyriv, although in his memoirs he mentioned another date - November 22, and another year - 1822. Why is not clear.
Father Alexei Sergeevich Nekrasov was an ordinary, middle-class landowner. Hereditary passion for cards and hunting. Moderately severe towards serfs. Nikolai was brought up tough. He taught the three most important, in his opinion, sciences: flawlessly stay in the saddle, shoot accurately and play cards well. He considered verse-making a whim, almost shameful. And Elena Andreevna, who was a tender mother, and a good lady, supported her son in his creative endeavors, and defended the serfs.

And so it happened that for Nikolai Nekrasov, his father became the embodiment of everything dark and gloomy that was in the Russian nobility, almost serfdom itself. And the mother is a ray of heavenly light, an angel-comforter, suffering from a harsh life. Nicholas, in general, gravitated towards the female part of his family: towards his mother and sisters, Anna and Elizabeth. With brothers, there was no spiritual closeness.
Since childhood, Nikolai was sensitive to other people's pain. He did not tolerate torture, could not stand torture. As a teenager, he decided that he himself would not become a serf. His brothers inherited his father, but he himself never owned people and earned his living through literary work. And also - playing cards: in his family, he became the first not to lose. It was rumored that Nekrasov did not always play cleanly, but no one caught him by the hand, although the minister was among his victims. Imperial court Adlerberg, whose debt was repaid by Emperor Alexander II, who was a close friend of Adlerberg, and Minister of Finance Abaza, who lost a million francs. With the money won at cards, Nekrasov bought the Greshnevo estate, where he spent his childhood, and which his grandfather, Sergei Alekseevich Nekrasov, lost on the same cards. Nikolai Nekrasov was sent to study at the age of 11, to the Yaroslavl gymnasium, and he studied badly. But he read a lot and was distinguished by a phenomenal memory that amazed everyone who knew him. Being, in essence, a dropout, he was at the same time an extremely erudite person.
His father believed that Nikolai should become a military man, like all his ancestors in the male line. Nicholas, having gone to Petersburg to be assigned to the regiment of the nobility, with the secret approval of his mother, entered the philological faculty as a volunteer. The father refused to send money to his son, who violated the family tradition and his will. From 1838 to 1840, Nikolai had to live practically in poverty, huddle in the Petersburg slums, in the same room with a dozen of the poorest of the poor. It was then that he truly knew suffering - and compassion.

“Exactly three years,” Nekrasov said later, “I felt constantly, every day, hungry. I had to eat not only badly, not only from hand to mouth, but not every day ... ".He earned his living by writing petitions and letters. His poems were not published, and he realized that there was no hope for a literary career ... And he began to write popular books, often of obscene content, and also vaudeville for theaters to earn money. This helped him get out of the slum. A serious career began with reviews, which he sent to Literaturnaya Gazeta and Russian Invalid. We noticed him precisely as a reviewer.
Nekrasov became an employee of Otechestvennye zapiski, starting work in the bibliographic department. He made friends with a young, but already very famous critic Vissarion Belinsky. The first poem that brought poetic fame to Nekrasov was called "On the Road": the story of an unfortunate serf who grew up in a noble house and married to a rude peasant. Nekrasov groped for "his own theme" and began to write poetry that outraged censorship and delighted leading readers. At the same time, he was actively involved in publishing, and in 1845, together with his friend, journalist Ivan Ivanovich Panaev, acquired the Sovremennik, founded by Pushkin, on lease and made the most advanced publication of his time out of the magazine. It was in this year that the story of his love for Avdotya Yakovlevna Panaeva began.

Avdotya Yakovlevna, nee Bryanskaya, was born in St. Petersburg on July 31, 1820. Her parents were artists. Avdotya attended the ballet class of the St. Petersburg Theater School, but did not make much progress. She was pretty, smart and determined. And she dreamed of a life completely different from that vain and disorderly acting life that her parents led. She also married Ivan Panaev because she saw in this marriage an opportunity not only of liberation from the parental yoke and the acting fate imposed by them, but also an interesting, bright future.
For Avdotya Bryanskaya, marriage with Ivan Panaev was a brilliant party. And for Panaev, marriage to the daughter of an actor is a terrifying misalliance. “Ivan Ivanovich’s mother didn’t want to hear about her son’s marriage to the actor’s daughter. For two and a half years Ivan Ivanovich, in various ways and in every possible way, obtained the consent of his mother, but to no avail; finally, he decided to get married quietly, without the consent of his mother, and, having got married, straight from church, got into the carriage, drove with his young wife to Kazan ... a letter with a curse, ”recalled his cousin, Vladimir Panaev.The mother finally relented and accepted her daughter-in-law.

Nineteen-year-old Avdotya Panaeva became the owner of one of the most popular literary salons in St. Petersburg. But the married life was unhappy. Panaev did not abandon his bachelor habits, cheated on his wife regularly and did not feel any guilt behind him. At first Avdotya was jealous and offended, then she resigned herself. She became pregnant, gave birth to a daughter, but the girl lived only a few days. Avdotya was very sad. They had no other children with Panaev, because marriage, as such, was no longer there.
Nekrasov appeared at their house when Avdotya drank the cup of disappointment to the bottom. The young poet fell in love, as everyone believed, at first sight. Avdotya Panaeva was indeed a very beautiful woman: black-haired, with enchanting huge eyes and an aspen waist, she instantly attracted the glances of the men who were in their house, this was noted by all contemporaries. She firmly refused everyone, including the new guest Nikolai Nekrasov. He turned out to be more persistent than others. But Panaeva rejected his advances in every possible way, removed him from herself, not noticing that by doing so she further inflamed Nekrasov's passion. How many fiery poems in his book are dedicated to this spectacular brunette!
And she is always in the circle of historical, wonderful, famous people... They are her daily guests. Herzen came from Petersburg to Moscow and directly to her house, to her husband, - he will not boast of her hospitality: "She is sweet and kind to the point of impossibility, she cares for me like a child," he writes from Petersburg to his wife.
Belinsky is her neighbor and friend. He, too, is fascinated by her kindness: “Try,” he writes to her husband, Panayev, “try to place the village at her disposal, and you will see that in six months, thanks to her kindness and benevolence, your peasants ... will become masters themselves, and gentlemen will become their peasants. "

Herzen, Belinsky, Dostoevsky, Dobrolyubov, Chernyshevsky, Nekrasov - what names, what people! And Turgenev, and Goncharov, and Granovsky, and Kavelin, and Leo Tolstoy - everything is at her table, at Five Corners or later at the Anichkin Bridge, and it seems that on another Monday the ceiling in her living room suddenly collapsed, all Russian literature would die. We would have neither Fathers and Children, nor War and Peace, nor The Break. Her living room, or rather, the dining room, was the Russian Olympus for twenty years, and how much tea the Olympians drank from her, how many magnificent dinners they ate.
“One of the most beautiful women Petersburg ", - argued the aristocrat Vladimir Sologub. “A woman with very expressive beauty,” said the French writer Alexandre Dumas about her. “Beauty, there are not very many of them,” admitted the stern commoner Nikolai Chernyshevsky. "I was in love in earnest," Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote to his brother about her, "now it is passing, but I don't know yet ...".
But Nekrasov's feeling turned out to be more serious than Dostoevsky's. He simply could not imagine life without this woman. Once he almost drowned himself in front of her. But, barely catching his breath, he announced that he would drown himself again, that he would not live without her. He really was ready to kill himself if it was not possible to achieve her love.
Avdotya already understood that she was not as indifferent to the young poet as she would have liked for her own peace of mind. But she did not want to indulge the feeling. She was afraid that the story with Panaev would repeat itself: first - passion, and then - neglect and betrayal. But there was nothing she could do with herself. In the novel "The Talnikov Family" Panaeva described the incipient feeling of love: "Why can I know that I love him? .. Maybe it doesn't mean that time without him seems to me long, that I can't think of anything. , besides him, I don’t want to look at anyone but him? .. On the contrary, hearing his voice, I’ll get all excited, my heart will beat, time rushes fast, and I’m so kind that I’m ready to give a hand even to my enemy ... ”
In the summer of 1846, the Panaev couple spent time in the Kazan province on their estate. Nekrasov was with them. Here he finally approaches Avdotya. Ivan Panaev did not care about his wife's betrayal.

Happy day!
I distinguish him in a family of ordinary days,
I count my life from him
and I celebrate in my soul!
He rented an apartment next to the Panaevs, on the same floor. How his explanation with Ivan Ivanovich took place is unknown, but some kind of explanation had to happen, for the secret romance seemed humiliating to both Avdotya and Nikolai. Nekrasov wanted to completely possess his beloved woman. He could not marry her, she was already married. But he wanted to live with her as a wife. And already at the beginning of 1847, he and Avdotya lived together and did not hide their relationship from the light. All three of them were condemned equally, but most of all - Ivan Panaev, a husband who allowed his wife to openly cohabit with her lover and at the same time did not break off relations with Nekrasov.

Painting by AA Naumov "Belinsky before his death", depicting Nekrasov and Panaev at the bedside of a sick Belinsky

Even Pisemsky could not resist a pin on Panaev: “It is interesting to know if he will describe the cornerstone on which his wonderful the highest degree friendship with Mr. Nekrasov? " Nekrasov and Panaeva became not only common-law spouses, but also co-authors, together they wrote a long novel "Three countries of the world". The idea of ​​many political poems was suggested to Nekrasov by his beloved. And he supported her in literary work, published her novels. Avdotya became pregnant. She and Nikolai were both waiting for the appearance of this child, in which "their love was to be embodied in the world."

But the boy born in February 1848 died immediately. For Avdotya, this was a heavy blow. Nikolai also grieved, but more - because of the suffering that his beloved experienced. It seemed to him that she would never recover and would never be the same. Panaeva recovered from her grief, but she did not become the same. She became even more nervous and more demanding. And when, in 1853, Avdotya Yakovlevna gave birth to another child from Nekrasov, and the boy died again before they could baptize him, Panaeva fell into hopeless despair and fiercely quarreled with Nikolai Alekseevich.
He left for Moscow, she stayed in Petersburg. It seemed that this was the end of not only love, but the meaning of his life - Nekrasov could no longer squeeze out a single line from himself. In addition, he fell ill, but so seriously that the doctors suggested fleeting consumption. Saved by the return of the beloved. Vasily Petrovich Botkin, a writer, a friend of Nekrasov, who was staying with him that summer, wrote to his brother: “I lacked neither the desire nor the spirit to see Avdotya, even though I think she did well to come to him. The gap would have accelerated the death of Nekrasov. " Together with Panaeva, first inspiration returned to Nekrasov, and then health.

A year later, Avdotya Yakovlevna gave birth to another son to Nikolai Alekseevich. This time the child lived for a month and a half. After the death of the third common child, Avdotya Yakovlevna left alone for Paris.
“Nekrasov and Panaeva finally parted,” Botkin wrote to his brother. “He is so shaken and more attached to her than ever before, but in her, feelings seem to have drastically changed.”
Nekrasov went to Paris to return Avdotya Yakovlevna. He persuaded her, brought her to Russia, lived happily for a while, then a new break. Now because of the betrayal committed by Nekrasov. Yes, what Avdotya Yakovlevna feared happened. Nekrasov began to cheat on her - with actresses, with cocottes. But, unlike Ivan Panaev, who considered adultery the norm, Nikolai Alekseevich desperately repented every time, begged for forgiveness. She forgave him, they tried to live together again, and again quarrels broke out from one awkward word. Avdotya Yakovlevna reacted very violently. This was reflected in Nekrasov's poems: "Tears, nervous laughter, seizure." Or: "Oh, women's tears, with the addition of nervous heavy dramas." In general, the researchers noted that all the tender lines of the "Panaev's cycle" were written when Nikolai Alekseevich and Avdotya Yakovlevna were apart. And when they reunited, then in love lyrics poet appeared the words: "riot", "storm", "thunderstorm", "abyss", "desecration".
If in the early years Nekrasov and Panaeva lived from quarrel to reconciliation and to a new quarrel, now - from a break, each time as if final, to a new reunion, which gave the poet inspiration for new poems. It seemed even to those around him that Nekrasov was cheating on purpose, not in order to get amorous delights on the side, but in order to annoy Avdotya Yakovlevna.For almost sixteen years the romance of the three has been going on. Several times, Nekrasov, in his hearts, leaves Avdotya for his mistresses, openly meets a French actress ... Avdotya cries on the chest of Ivan Panaev, who himself has long been confused and does not know what to do. Then Nekrasov returns with new, piercing verses, and here it is - reconciliation.
"Is it proper for a man in his age to excite in a woman who was once dear to him, a feeling of jealousy with pranks and ties, decent to some horse guard?" - wrote the indignant Chernyshevsky.
Because of these multiple breaks, the correspondence between Nekrasov and Panaeva has not survived. Avdotya Yakovlevna, in another fit of anger, burned all the letters that had accumulated. Only a few of them remained, and the relationship of lovers can only be judged by the memoirs of contemporaries and by the letters that Nekrasov addressed to friends.
Most often he wrote about his love to Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev. Because he is also stuck in the snares of passion for the femme fatale - Pauline Viardot. True, Viardot was nobler than Panaev, and did not torment Turgenev, but rather endured. Panaeva, however, seemed disgusting to Turgenev: “This is a rude, stupid, evil, capricious creature devoid of any femininity, but not without hefty coquetry.” However, Nekrasov trusted him with his love experiences. At times, it seemed to Nekrasov that he lived with Panaeva only out of pity, out of gratitude for the past. However, having spent quite a bit of separation, he began to miss her unbearably and called her to him or came to her himself. Nekrasov wrote: "I feel good with her, but there as God willing."
Always sensitive to the suffering of others, Nekrasov understood that he was tormenting his beloved woman. In poetry, he called himself her executioner. At times he sincerely repented. But he could not hold out for a long time without betrayal, to which Avdotya Yakovlevna was not used to: she reacted to each one violently and furiously.
Ivan Panaev died in 1862. Avdotya Yakovlevna was free and could have married Nekrasov. But now the poet did not want to marry his longtime sweetheart... And he did not want to part with her completely.
In the end, Avdotya Yakovlevna herself broke the vicious chain of quarrels, partings and reunions. At the beginning of 1865, she moved out of the apartment, and soon it became known that she was married to the writer Apollo Filippovich Golovachev. He was 11 years younger than his wife, a participant in the defense of Sevastopol, for a long time worked as the secretary of Sovremennik.
Yes, our life was rebellious
Full of anxiety, full of loss
It was inevitable to part -
And now I'm glad for you!
In 1866, at the age of forty-six, Panaeva-Golovacheva gave birth to a daughter named after her mother Evdokia. The girl became for Avdotya Yakovlevna the meaning of life, a dream come true after so many tragedies.
Nekrasov missed Avdotya Yakovlevna for several years. It was only in the spring of 1870 that he met a woman, Fekla Anisimovna Viktorova, an orphan. It seems that she was a concubine with a merchant, from whom Nekrasov took her away. But most of his acquaintances claimed that the poet met Fyokla Viktorova in a "merry house." The girl was sold to an institution from poverty and hopelessness, she suffered terribly. Forty-eight-year-old Nekrasov decided to save her, then it was fashionable to save fallen women.
The young mistress looked at Nekrasov as a deity, listened to his every word, and he was calm and happy with her. But the inspirer of his poems was still Avdotya Panaeva. Three Elegies, written 10 years after separation, describe Nekrasov's suffering in separation from his only beloved woman. “You cannot forgive her - and you cannot not love her! ..” He was sure that the “flame” of their love had not died out yet. He waited for her to return: "And, as always, bashful, impatient and proud, lowered his eyes in silence."
Panaeva did not return. She now had something more important than the flame of their passion: she had a daughter. And Nekrasov desperately needed for inspiration not in quiet happiness, but in violent passion, struggle, conflict, overcoming, reconciliation. In all that Avdotya Yakovlevna gave him. In all that for which he hated and adored her ... Gentle, kind, cheerful Zina could not give him all this.
In 1874, Nekrasov introduced his Zina to his family.
They did not want to accept her, confident that this illiterate orphan appeared
next to Nekrasov only in order to receive an inheritance.
However, everything that Nikolai Alekseevich wrote to Zinaida, after the death of Nekrasov
she ceded it to her family, including her part of the literary inheritance.
But she was able to become a nurse for him for two whole years. Nekrasov was terminally ill. Shortly before his death, he insisted that he and Zinaida get married, hoping in this way to ensure the future of his faithful girlfriend.
Nikolai Alekseevich Nekrasov died on December 27, 1877.
Zinaida Nikolaevna put on mourning and never took off. She died in Saratov, in 1915, practically in poverty. No one knew that she was Nekrasov's wife. She recalled this only once, in Kiev, during the Jewish pogroms. On the way of the crowd, two stood up: a priest with an icon in his hands and Zinaida Nikolaevna. Both tried to admonish the rioters. When she, poorly dressed, unattractive, was asked who she is that dares to raise her voice "against the people", Zinaida Nikolaevna said: "I am Nekrasov's widow!" And the crowd stopped.

Museum-estate of N.A. Nekrasov "Karabikha"

Avdotya Yakovlevna was widowed in the same year as Nekrasov died. She devoted the rest of her life to writing memoirs about the poet. She published her memoirs as interesting as inaccurate in 1889. Panaeva-Golovacheva died on March 30, 1893. Her daughter also became a writer whose novels for women were popular in the 1910s.
Used Books:
1. Skatov N. N. I was born in ... // Nekrasov. -Moscow: Young Guard, 1994 .-- 412 p. - (The life of wonderful people).
2. Zhdanov V. V. Nekrasov Nikolai Alekseevich // Great Soviet Encyclopedia. - 3rd ed. - Moscow: Soviet encyclopedia, 1974 .-- T. 17.
3. Panaeva A. Memories. / Roman newspaper.- 2009- №19-20.
Photo source: www.runivers.ru, www.spletnik.ru

Nikolay Alekseevich Nekrasov
"Yes, our life was rebellious ..."

Yes, our life was rebellious
Full of anxiety, full of loss
It was inevitable to part -
And now I'm glad for you!
But since then everything around me is deserted!
I can't give myself to anything with love,
And life is boring and time is long
And I am cold to my work.
I would not know why I get out of bed
If not for a thought: maybe they flew
Today, at last, the cherished sheets
In which you will tell me:
Are you healthy? what do you think? is it easy
Do you breathe under the distant sky?
Are you sad, regretting the same fate,
Do you willingly obey fate?
I wish that sleepy oblivion
For a long time, it came down to my soul,
If only my imagination
I could not wander in the past ...
Past! his magical power
Conquering, I relive again
And the first movement of passion
So violently agitated the blood
And a long struggle with myself,
And not killed by the struggle
But every day the simmering love is stronger.
How long have you been harsh
How you wanted to believe me
And as I believed and hesitated again,
And how I fully believed!
(Happy day! I distinguish it
In a family of ordinary days;
From him I count my life,
I celebrate it in my soul!)
I remembered everything ... with one memory,
I live in the past -
And what seemed like suffering to us,
And now I call you happiness ...

And you? .. are you so devoted to sorrow? ..
And is it the same in some memories
Amid voluntary exile
Is your soul submerged?
Or new splendid nature,
And life is boiling, and complete freedom
You have been carried away forever
And you fell out of love in the distance
Everything that is painful and sweet so sometimes
Were we happy with you?
Tell! I must know ... How strange I love!
I wish you happiness and pray
But the thought that you are oppressed by the longing of separation
My soul softens the torment ...

In "Panaevsky cycle" N.A. Nekrasov includes the following works:
- Yes, our life was rebellious ...
- Long ago - rejected by you ...
- The heavy cross fell to her share ...
- Sorry! Don't remember the days of the fall
- You and I are stupid people ...
- Farewell
- So this is a joke? My sweetheart
- You are always incomparable good
- I do not like your irony
- A difficult year - an illness broke me
- When it burns in your blood ...
- Struck by the loss of the irrevocable ...

Is not full list... According to critics and literary scholars, many of the poems dedicated to Panaeva were never published. Another part was irretrievably lost in the letters burned by Avdotya. However, those that survived convey the general picture and atmosphere of the entire cycle.

Yes, our life was rebellious
Full of anxiety, full of loss
It was inevitable to part -
And now I'm glad for you!
But since then everything around me is deserted!
I can't give myself to anything with love,
And life is boring and time is long
And I am cold to my work.
I would not know why I get out of bed
If not for a thought: maybe they flew
Today, at last, the cherished sheets
In which you will tell me:
Are you healthy? what do you think? is it easy
Do you breathe under the distant sky?
Are you sad, regretting the same fate,
Do you willingly obey fate?
I wish that sleepy oblivion
For a long time, it came down to my soul,
If only my imagination
I could not wander in the past ...
Past! his magical power
Conquering, I relive again
And the first movement of passion
So violently agitated the blood
And a long struggle with myself,
And not killed by the struggle
But every day the simmering love is stronger.
How long have you been harsh
How you wanted to believe me
And as I believed and hesitated again,
And how I fully believed!
(Happy day! I distinguish it
In a family of ordinary days;
From him I count my life,
I celebrate it in my soul!)
I remembered everything ... with one memory,
I live in the past -
And what seemed like suffering to us,
And now I call you happiness ...

And you? .. are you so devoted to sorrow? ..
And is it the same in some memories
Amid voluntary exile
Is your soul submerged?
Or new splendid nature,
And life is boiling, and complete freedom
You have been carried away forever
And you fell out of love in the distance
Everything that is painful and sweet so sometimes
Were we happy with you?
Tell! I must know ... How strange I love!
I wish you happiness and pray
But the thought that you are oppressed by the longing of separation
My soul softens the torment ...

Long ago rejected by you,
I've walked these shores
And, full of a fateful thought,
Instantly rushed to the waves.
They were affably clear.
I stepped on the edge of the cliff -
Suddenly the waves darkened menacingly,
And fear stopped me!
Late - full of love and happiness,
We often went here,
And you blessed the waves
Those who rejected me then.
Now - alone, forgotten by you,
Through many fatal years
I wander with a slain soul
Again at these shores.
And the same thought comes again -
And I stand on the cliff
But the waves do not threaten harshly
And they beckon to their depths ...

The heavy cross fell to her share:
Suffer, be silent, pretend and don't cry;
To whom and passion, and youth, and will -
She gave everything - he became her executioner!

She has not met anyone for a long time;
Depressed, fearful and sad,
Crazy, sarcastic speech
Resignedly should listen:

"Do not say that youth has ruined
Thou art tormented by my jealousy;
Don't say! .. my grave is near,
And you are a fresh spring flower!

The day you loved me
And she heard from me: I love -
Don't curse! my grave is near:
I will correct everything, I will atone for everything with death!

Don't say that your days are dull
Do not call the sick jailer:
Before me is the cold gloom of the grave,
Before you - the embrace of love!

I know: you fell in love with another,
Sparing and waiting bored you ...
Oh wait! my grave is near -
Let fate begin and finish! .. "

Terrible, murderous sounds! ..
Like a statue, beautiful and pale
She is silent, wringing her hands ...
And what could she say to him? ..

Sorry! Do not remember the days of the fall
Longing, despondency, bitterness, -
Don't remember storms, don't remember tears
Do not remember the jealousy of threats!

But the days when love shone
Above us gently rose
And we cheerfully made our way, -
Bless and don't forget!

You and I are stupid people:
In a minute, the flash is ready!
Relief of an agitated chest
An unreasonable, harsh word.

Speak when you're angry
Everything that excites and torments the soul!
Let us, my friend, be angry openly:
The world is easier - and more likely to get bored.
If prose in love is inevitable
So let's take a share of happiness from her:
After a fight so full, so tender
The return of love and sympathy ...

Parting

We parted halfway
We were parted before parting
And they thought: there will be no flour
In the last fatal "sorry".
But I don't even have the strength to cry.
Write - I ask one ...
These letters will be nice to me
And holy as flowers from the grave -
From the grave of my heart!

So this is a joke? My sweetheart,
How timid, how slow-witted I am!
I cried over your calculated harsh,
Short and dry writing;
Neither a friendly affection, nor an honest word
You did not please your heart in it.
I asked: is it a demon of discord
Did you drive mockingly with your hand?
I said: "If a quarrel would tear us apart -
But so hard, so bitter, so sad,
So gentle was the last hour of separation ...
Still your friend could not forget him,
And again you send him torment
Doubt, guesswork and anxiety, -
Tell me why? .. Is it not an empty lie,
Scattered by idle slander
Was your soul indignant?
And, tormented by a painful affliction,
You are over your absent friend
Has she pronounced the court without acquittal?
Or it was just one random whim,
Or old anger? .. "An unsolvable mystery
I suffered: I cried and suffered,
The frightened mind wandered in conjectures,
I was pathetic in severe despair ...

The end of everything! With your single word
You returned to my soul again
And the old world and the old love;
And my heart sends you blessings
As a messenger of unexpected salvation ...

So the nanny will take the child into the forest
And she will hide behind a high bush;
Alarmed, he seeks and calls,
And rushes about in cruel melancholy,
And he falls, powerless, on the grass ...
And the nanny suddenly: ay! ay!
His heart beats with sudden joy,
He forgot everything: he cries and laughs,
And he jumps and runs merrily,
And falls - and does not scold the nanny,
But the culprit of fear presses to the heart,
As from the misfortune of a friend who rescued ...

You are always incomparable good
But when I'm sad and gloomy,
Comes alive so inspired
Your cheerful, mocking mind;

You want to laugh so smartly and sweetly
So you scold my foolish enemies,
Then, drooping my head sadly,
You make me laugh so slyly;

So you are kind, buying up for affection,
Your kiss is so full of fire
And your beloved eyes
So they dove and stroke me, -

What's the real grief with you
I reasonably and meekly endure
And forward - into this dark sea -
I look without the usual fear ...

I do not like your irony.
Leave her outdated and not alive
And you and I, who loved so dearly,
Still the rest of the feeling preserved, -
It's too early for us to indulge in it!

Still shy and tender
You wish to extend the date
While still boiling in me rebelliously
Jealous worries and dreams -
Do not rush the inevitable denouement!

And without that it is not far away:
We boil harder, full of the last thirst,
But in the heart there is a secret cold and longing ...
So the river is more turbulent in autumn,
But the raging waves are colder ...

A difficult year - an illness broke me,
Trouble overtook, happiness changed,
And neither enemy nor friend spares me,
And even you did not spare!
Tormented, embittered by the struggle
With your blood enemies!
Sufferer! you are standing in front of me
A lovely ghost with crazy eyes!
The hair fell down to the shoulders
Lips burn, cheeks glow with a blush,
And unbridled speech
Merges into terrible reproaches
Cruel, wrong. ... ... Wait!
I didn’t doom your early years
For a life without happiness and freedom,
I am a friend, I am not your destroyer!
But you are not listening. ... ... ... ... ...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When it burns in your blood
Fire of real love
When you are deeply aware
Your legal rights, -
Believe: rumor won't kill you
With your cruel slander!

Shameful, hateful bonds
Cast aside the burden of violence
And conclude - while there is time -
Free union at heart.

But if your passion is weak
And the conviction is not deep
Be an eternal slave to your husband,
If not, you will regret cruelly! ..

Struck by an irrevocable loss
My soul is sad and weak:
No pride, no grace-filled faith -
Shameful impotence of a slave!

She doesn't care - the cold gloom of the coffin
Shame, glory, hatred, love, -
The salutary malice has also extinguished,
That for a long time warmed up the blood.

I'm waiting ... but the night doesn't come close to dawn,
And dead gloom all around ... and the one
That could appeal to the light, -
As if death had fettered her mouth!

A face without thought, full of confusion
Dry, strained eyes -
And, it seems, the dawn of renewal
A tear will never sparkle in them.

Man was created to be a support to another, because

that he himself needs support.

N. A. Nekrasov

Oh, how destructively we love ...

F. I. Tyutchev

“He was a man of high nobility of soul,” N. G. Chernyshevsky said about Nekrasov. These words come to mind when you read Nekrasov's poems about love, which leave an indelible mark on the soul.

An innovator in poetry, Nekrasov opened new pages in Russian love lyrics, showed its new possibilities. If great poets are the first half of the XIX centuries sang their beloved as a miracle, perfection, if for them she was a "genius of pure beauty", an unattainable ideal, a dream far from the prose of life, then the hero of Nekrasov's intimate lyrics is a living woman with a difficult and sometimes tragic fate, with a difficult character. She has a "cheerful, mocking mind", she is harsh, ironic and at the same time capable of a great, deep feeling.

Many poems of Nekrasov's love lyrics are autobiographical, their heroine is recognizable. This is A. Ya. Panaeva - a bright, talented person, friend, colleague, common-law wife of the poet. Why did Nekrasov not hide who the addressee of his poems about love was? Probably because these verses are confessional: they contain reflections about the past, a bitter admission of their guilt (and after all, everyone, probably, is guilty of something in front of his beloved, close people, and this guilt is especially bitter when they go away forever), an attempt to explain the inexplicable, to justify something ...

"When from the darkness of delusion ...", "Long ago - rejected by you ...", "I visited your cemetery ...", "Oh you, passion, fatal, fruitless ..." etc. - they make me cry, "wrote N. G. Chernyshevsky to the poet.

Revealing the complex relationship of lovers, Nekrasov takes a new path: “the prose of love” appears in his lyrics, the poet allows the reader to enter the world of contradictory feelings and relationships of lovers. He creates a kind of lyrical romance diary, which includes a number of poems from the "Panaev's cycle".

The heroine of Nekrasova is not at all a "heavenly creature": she can be selfless and implacable, loving and jealous, kind and cruel.

“I don’t like your irony” - already in this first line, the introduction to the poem, there are both the characters of the two people and the exciting complexity of their relationship. It is interesting that almost all works of the poet's love lyrics end with ellipses, as if the dialogue continues, the dispute is not over. But behind the external conflict there is always a high humanity, understanding and empathy, compassion and respect.

Here is the poem "A heavy cross fell to her lot" - one of the most tragic in Nekrasov. The main image - the image of the cross - as a symbol of suffering and sacrifice was brilliantly found in it: a heavy cross is both fate and a grave monument.

And what a complex and wonderful world of difficult love is sung in a small poem “Forgive me”:

Sorry! Do not remember the days of the fall, Tosca, despondency, anger, - Do not remember the storms, do not remember the tears, Do not remember the jealousy of threats! But the days when love shone Above us gently rose And cheerfully we made the path - Bless and do not forget!

In the Nekrasovian antithesis - all life with its ups and downs, storms, tears and the luminary of happiness. Thus, "The Prose of Love" becomes the theme of high poetry.

And how wise and humane are the poems of the same name "Zina" ("You still have the right to live ..." and "Two hundred days already ..."), created by mortally ill, painfully suffering poets who bless their young life. Material from the site

I do not know if the poem "I am driving along a dark street at night" can be attributed to love lyrics, but for me this is indisputable. The life of an unhappy prostitute became the theme of a lyric poem. The story of the tragic story of a "fallen" woman is imbued with such sympathy and understanding that her real story becomes a fact of high poetry.

In this lyric poem, Nekrasov seems to predict the discoveries of the genius Dostoevsky. The situation will be repeated in "Crime and Punishment", in the story of "the eternal Sonechka Marmeladova", perhaps the most highly moral heroine of Russian literature, for the sake of saving her family, forced to "go to the panel."

There were no "low" topics for Nekrasov. In his lyrics, he revealed inner world contemporaries, people of different social strata. The high nobility of his soul was manifested in the ability to understand both those close and distant, to lend a hand to help the suffering, to be not a judge, but a friend and protector of the disadvantaged, to sing the feelings that make a person a Human.

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