How to get out of the state of fear. Constant Anxiety and Anxiety: Symptoms, How to Get Rid of Fear and Stress

How to get rid of feelings of anxiety? This is a very exciting and very popular question among people of different generations. Especially often there is a request that people have a feeling of anxiety for no reason and they do not know how to get rid of it. Fear that cannot be explained, tension, feelings of anxiety, unreasonable anxiety - from time to time, many people have. Unreasonable anxiety can be interpreted as a consequence of chronic fatigue, constant stress, recent or progressive diseases.

A person is often confused about what overtook him for no reason, he does not understand how to get rid of the feeling of anxiety, but prolonged experience can lead to serious personality disorders.

Feeling anxious is not always a pathological mental condition. A person in his life can face the experience of anxiety quite often. The state of the pathological causeless occurs independently of external stimuli and is not caused by real problems, but appears by itself.

Anxiety can overwhelm a person when he provides complete freedom his own, which in most cases paints extremely scary pictures. In an anxious state, a person feels his own helplessness, emotional and physical exhaustion, in connection with which his health can be shaken and he will get sick.

How to get rid of feelings of anxiety and anxiety inside

Most people know an unpleasant feeling, the symptoms of which are, severe sweating, obsessive thoughts, a feeling of abstract danger, which, as it seems, haunts and lurks at every corner. Approximately 97% of adults succumb to periodic bouts of feelings of anxiety and restlessness inside. Sometimes a feeling of real anxiety delivers some benefit, forcing a person to act in a certain way, to mobilize their strengths and to anticipate possible events.

The state of anxiety is characterized by hard-to-define sensations that have a negative connotation, accompanied by the expectation of trouble, a sense of uncertainty and uncertainty. The feeling of anxiety is quite exhausting, taking away strength and energy, devouring optimism and joy, interfering with having a positive attitude towards life and enjoying it.

How to get rid of the feeling of anxiety and anxiety inside? Psychology will help you figure it out using certain methods.

The method of pronouncing affirmations. An affirmation is a short, optimistic statement that does not contain a single word with a particle of "not". Affirmations, on the one hand, direct a person's thinking in a positive direction, and on the other hand, they calm down well. Each affirmation must be repeated for 21 days, after which time the affirmation will be able to gain a foothold as a good habit. The method of affirmations is a means of getting rid of feelings of anxiety and anxiety inside, it helps even more if a person is clearly aware of the cause of his anxiety and, starting from it, can create an affirmation.

According to the observations of psychologists, even when a person does not believe in the power of statements, then after regular repetition, his brain begins to perceive the incoming information and adapt to it, thus forcing him to act in a certain way.

The person himself does not understand how it happened that the spoken statement is transformed into a life principle and changes the attitude towards the situation. Thanks to this technique, you can redirect attention, and wait for a decrease in the feeling of anxiety. The affirmation technique will be more effective in overcoming feelings of anxiety and anxiety when combined with the breathing technique.

You can focus on something positive, such as reading educational literature or watching motivational videos. You can dream or occupy your thoughts with an interesting activity, mentally create a barrier for the penetration of disturbing thoughts into your head.

The next method for deciding how to get rid of constant feelings of anxiety is quality rest. Many people are preoccupied with their material condition, but do not think at all that they need to rest and relax from time to time. The lack of quality rest leads to the fact that the physical and mental health of a person deteriorates. The daily hustle and bustle builds up tension and stress, which lead to an inexplicable feeling of anxiety.

You just need to set aside one day a week for relaxation, visit a sauna, go out into nature, meet friends, go to the theater, and so on. If there is no way to go somewhere out of town, then you can do your favorite sport, take a walk before going to bed, get a good night's sleep, and eat right. Such actions will affect the improvement of well-being.

How to get rid of feelings of anxiety? Psychology in this regard believes that first you need to establish the source of anxiety. Often, feelings of anxiety and anxiety arise from the fact that a person is simultaneously piled on by many small things that need to be done on time. If you look at all these things separately and plan out your daily schedule of activities, then everything will appear much easier than it seems. Many problems from a different angle seem even insignificant. Therefore, the use of this method will make a person calmer and more balanced.

We need to get rid of small but unpleasant problems without undue delay. The main thing is not to lead to the fact that they accumulate. It is necessary to develop a habit of timely solving urgent matters, for example, such household things as rent, a visit to a doctor, delivery of a thesis, and so on.

In order to understand how to get rid of the constant feeling of anxiety and anxiety inside, you need to want to change something in your life. If there is a problem that seems unsolvable for a long time, you can try to look at it from a different point of view. There are sources of anxiety and feelings of anxiety that cannot leave a person alone for a while. For example, it is impossible to simultaneously solve financial problems, buying a car, pulling a friend out of trouble, settling family problems. But if you look at things a little differently, then there will be more opportunities to deal with stress.

We must do our best to improve the situation. Sometimes even talking to other people can help reduce anxiety and clarify the situation. For example, a financial consultant will help you cope with financial problems, a psychologist will help in family matters.

Between thinking about the main issues, you need to set aside time for distractions (walking, playing sports, watching a movie). The main thing is not to forget that the problems that need to be solved remain in the first place, and you should control your distractions so that they do not provoke difficulties with a lack of time.

Another method for determining how to get rid of constant feelings of anxiety and anxiety is by training the mind. It has been proven by many that meditation practice can help calm the mind and overcome feelings of anxiety. Regular practice can improve mental health. For those who are just starting to practice, it is advisable to enroll in courses in order to correctly master the technique of execution.

While meditating, you can think about an exciting problem. To do this, you need to focus on it, spend about five or ten minutes thinking about it, but during the day you do not think about it anymore.

People who share their worried thoughts and feelings with others feel much better than those who keep everything to themselves. Sometimes the people with whom a problem is being discussed can give advice on how to deal with it. Of course, first of all, the problem should be discussed with the closest people, with a loved one, parents, other relatives. And only not if these people are the source of that very anxiety and anxiety.

If there are no such people in the environment who could be trusted, then you can use the services of a psychologist. The psychologist is the most unbiased listener who, in addition, will help to deal with the problem.

To get rid of the feeling of anxiety and anxiety inside, you need to change your lifestyle in general, in particular the diet. There are a number of products feeling restlessness and anxiety. The first is sugar. A sharp rise in blood sugar causes anxiety.

It is advisable to reduce the consumption of coffee, to one cup a day, or stop drinking altogether. Caffeine is a very strong stimulant for the nervous system, so drinking coffee in the morning sometimes causes less wakefulness than anxiety.

To reduce the feeling of anxiety, it is necessary to limit the use of alcohol, or avoid it altogether. Many people mistakenly assume that alcohol can help relieve feelings of anxiety. However, alcohol after short-term relaxation causes anxiety, and problems with the digestive and cardiovascular systems can be added to this.

Food should contain foods that have elements that cause good mood: Blueberries, acai berries, bananas, nuts, dark chocolate and other foods high in antioxidants, potassium and magnesium. It is important to have a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats.

Exercise can help reduce anxiety. People who regularly play sports are much less likely to experience feelings of anxiety and anxiety. Exercise improves circulation by increasing the hormones endorphins (hormones that bring joy).

Each person can choose the right workout for themselves. Cardio workouts can be cycling, running, brisk walking, or swimming. You need to maintain muscle tone with exercises with dumbbells. Strengthening exercises include yoga, fitness, and Pilates.

Changes to the room or workplace are also beneficial in reducing anxiety and anxiety. Very often, anxiety develops under the influence of the environment, exactly the place in which a person spends the most time. The room should create a mood. To do this, you need to get rid of the clutter, lay out the books, throw out the trash, put everything in its place, and try to keep order at all times.

To freshen up the room, you can make minor repairs: glue the wallpaper, rearrange furniture, buy new bedding.

Feelings of anxiety and anxiety can be relieved through travel, opening up to new experiences and expanding. Here we are not even talking about large-scale travel, you can just leave the city on the weekend, or even go to the other end of the city. New experiences, smells and sounds stimulate brain processes and change mood for the better.

Anxiety medications can be tried to relieve haunting feelings of anxiety. It is best if these products are of natural origin. Soothing properties are possessed by: chamomile flowers, valerian, kava-kava root. If these funds do not help to cope with feelings of anxiety and anxiety, then you need to consult a doctor about stronger medications.

How to get rid of feelings of anxiety and fear

If a person regularly feels a sense of anxiety and fear, if these feelings, due to too strong a duration, become a habitual state and prevent a person from being a full-fledged individual, then in this case it is important not to delay, but to consult a specialist.

Symptoms that go to the doctor: an attack, a feeling of fear, rapid breathing, dizziness, pressure surges. The doctor may prescribe a course of medication. But the effect will be faster if, together with medications, the person will undergo a course of psychotherapy. Treatment with drugs alone is impractical because, unlike clients taking the two treatments, they are more likely to relapse.

How to get rid of the constant feelings of anxiety and fear are described below.

It takes a lot of effort to get rid of feelings of anxiety and fear. As you know, fear and anxiety arise at a certain time and the reason for this is some very impressive event. Since a person was not born with fear, but he appeared later, it means that you can get rid of him.

The most the right way there will be a visit to a psychologist. It will help you find the root of feelings of anxiety and fear, help you figure out what triggered these feelings. The specialist will help a person to realize and "process" his experiences, to develop an effective strategy of behavior.

If visiting a psychologist is problematic, then you can use other methods.

It is very important to learn how to correctly assess the reality of an event. To do this, you need to stop for a second, collect your thoughts, and ask yourself questions: "How much does this situation really threaten my health and life now?", "Could there be anything worse in life?", "Are there people in the world who could have survived this? " and the like. It has been proven that answering such questions silently, a person who at first thought the situation was catastrophic, becomes self-confident and comes to understand that everything is not as scary as he thought.

Anxiety or fear must be dealt with immediately, do not allow them to develop, do not allow unnecessary, obsessive thoughts into your head that will "swallow" consciousness until the person goes crazy. To prevent this, you can use a breathing technique: take deep breaths with your nose and long exhalations with your mouth. The brain is saturated with oxygen, blood vessels expand and consciousness returns.

Techniques in which a person opens up to his fear, he goes to meet it, are very effective. A person who is determined to get rid of fear and anxiety goes to meet him, even despite strong feelings of anxiety and anxiety. At the moment of the strongest experience, a person overcomes himself and relaxes, this fear will not disturb him anymore. This method is effective, but it is best to use it under the supervision of a psychologist who will accompany the individual, since, depending on the type of nervous system, each person individually reacts to shocking events. The main thing is to prevent the opposite effect. A person who does not have enough internal psychological resources can become even more influenced by fear and begin to experience unthinkable anxiety.

Exercise can help reduce feelings of anxiety. With the help of a drawing, you can free yourself from fear by depicting it on a piece of paper, and then tear it to pieces or burn it. Thus, fear spills out, the feeling of anxiety goes away and the person feels free.

All people periodically experience a sense of baseless anxiety. There are times when everything is normal at work, and the family is in order, and the nervousness that arises from nowhere does not allow to live peacefully. Why is a person susceptible to such attacks? And how to deal with worry and anxiety? Let's figure it out.

Normal feeling and causeless anxiety: how to tell?

What is this sensation? Anxiety is the discomfort and dissatisfaction that gives rise to anxiety.

This feeling is not the same as fear. The difference is that in anxiety, the subject of concern is unclear. There are only vague assumptions about the upcoming events. There are many situations in life that provoke exams, job changes, moving. Such life circumstances have unclear prospects, therefore, when they arise This is a natural kind of anxiety, in which the body is mobilized and a person solves problems.

There are cases of pathological anxiety. In this situation, people experience constant unreasonable excitement, which greatly complicates their lives. Pathological anxiety differs in that a person cannot cope with this feeling. It fills the entire life of an individual, all actions and thoughts of which are aimed at suppressing this sensation. It is in such a situation that it is very important to know how to deal with anxiety and anxiety.

The main points of the pathological condition:

1. This type of anxiety arises for no reason when there are no prerequisites for anxiety. But a person feels: something must happen, although it is not known what and how. In such a situation, people begin to worry about their loved ones, wait for bad news, their souls are constantly restless. And all this is happening in a safe environment.
2. Thus, a person in his thoughts predicts the future in which something bad is about to happen. As a result, behavior changes, people begin to rush, constantly want to call somewhere and do something.
3. In such situations, the body reacts with an increased heart rate, shortness of breath, increased sweating, and dizziness. Sleep is disturbed, a person feels constant tension, nervousness and irritability.
4. Unwarranted anxiety does not arise by itself. It can be caused by unresolved conflicts, a state of tension and even brain disease.

People who do not know how to deal with anxiety and anxiety doom themselves to developing nervous system disorders. Often in such persons, one of the forms of neurosis is revealed. It is based on a sense of anxiety, tension, fear.

Some reasons

Before you figure out how to cope with feelings of anxiety and fear, you should understand what sources these feelings are triggered by:

1. Increased anxiety can be a consequence of education. For example, if in childhood the child was constantly forbidden something and at the same time frightened with the possible consequences of actions, this provoked a constant internal conflict. It was he who became the cause of the alarm. And this attitude towards reality is carried over into adulthood.
2. Anxiety can be inherited. If parents or grandmothers are constantly worried about something, the younger generation adopts the same model of behavior.
3. Wrong perception of the world, instilled in a child in childhood, when the child was told: “You can't”; "You can not". With the peculiar model he has created, the grown-up child feels like a loser. He attracts to himself all the bad things that can happen in life. The blame for everything is the uncertainty that arose in childhood.
4. Due to overprotection, the child is deprived of the opportunity to act independently. He is not responsible for anything and does not receive life experience. As a result, an infantile person grows up who is constantly afraid to make a mistake.
5. Some people feel indebted to someone all the time. This is provoked by the belief received in childhood: if you do not do it the right way, then life will not be safe. Therefore, they try to keep everything under control and, realizing that this is not working, they begin to worry.

The occurrence of anxiety states is also influenced by stress, dangerous situations, psychological trauma that lasts for a long time.

As a result of increased anxiety, a person cannot live peacefully. He is constantly in the past or future, experiencing mistakes and predicting the consequences. That is why it is important to understand how to get rid of feelings of anxiety and fear.

What does worry lead to?

If the feeling of intense excitement arises constantly, this problem needs to be addressed. You need to figure out how to deal with anxiety and anxiety. After all, they can have serious consequences. These sensations, if untreated, develop into phobias and panic states.

As a result of anxiety states, the following may develop:

• Heart arythmy;
• drops in body temperature;
• dizziness;
• trembling in the limbs;
• asthma attacks.

The key to recovery is to stop worrying about anything and try to control your emotions.

Treatment by a specialist

Anxiety therapy is performed by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The specialist will identify the main cause of anxiety, which a person often cannot realize himself.

The doctor will explain in detail what triggers the feeling of anxiety, how to cope with the anxiety. He will teach to resist problem situations arising in the patient's life. All this is achieved as a result of psychotherapy sessions.

Methods of prevention and treatment

From the above, it can be seen that frustration does not lead to anything good. How to deal with unpleasant anxiety on your own?

You can get rid of anxiety conditions yourself using the following methods:

• changing the way of thinking;
• physical relaxation;
• lifestyle change.

But before considering such moments, it is necessary to learn how to cope with a sudden surging feeling of anxiety. To do this, you need to find the reason, realize it, get distracted from the problem and exhale deeply. Let's take a closer look at these methods.

Change of mindset

Because anxiety is the result psychological problems, you should start fighting it with spiritual attitudes.

The first is if you constantly arise how to cope with such feelings? It is necessary to establish the cause of the unpleasant condition. Be sure to communicate with loved ones for this. They will listen and support, even morally, but the person will understand that he has support.

Learn the technique of meditation. It helps to relax. Therefore, you should regularly use it to clear your thoughts.

Lifestyle change

The nervous system is weakened by alcohol consumption, medicines, drugs, smoking hobby. As a result, such negative experiences can develop.

Therefore, when wondering how to get rid of feelings of anxiety and fear, start by giving up bad habits... This will help to cope with an unpleasant phenomenon, improve health and harden willpower.

A full sleep is imperative, which will eliminate fatigue and tension.

There are foods that improve your mood: chocolate, bananas, nuts, and blueberries.

Physical relaxation

There is another important guideline for dealing with unreasonable anxiety. It is necessary to apply physical activity. Sports, movement, walking with pets help the body to relax physically and mentally. Regular exercise is an excellent way to relieve anxiety. After class, it is good to drink an infusion of chamomile, thyme or mint.

Try to find the reason

Any excitement cannot appear from scratch. To understand how to deal with anxiety and anxiety, you need to understand how they are triggered. There is always a reason for anxiety. In order to understand where it came from, it is necessary to analyze the whole life and establish the moment from which a person began to feel a sense of anxiety. It can be both troubles at work and difficulties in family life. Even negative news on TV can cause anxiety.

Voice the problem

If you cannot establish the cause of the anxiety on your own, it is worth trying to communicate with someone close to you. When talking with someone who understands and accepts a person as he is, you can find out a lot of interesting things about yourself. It should be borne in mind that the counterpart must necessarily have a positive attitude. His task is not to sympathize and share his troubles, but to give a charge of positive emotions. Usually, after a conversation with such a person, an anxiety disorder sufferer calms down.

Take a break from the problems

Another method of avoiding anxiety is to distract yourself. If the person is at home, it is worth watching a comedy, reading an interesting book, meeting friends, or taking a relaxing herbal bath. At work, you can completely immerse yourself in the business, discarding all disturbing thoughts. Communication with colleagues helps a lot. A great solution would be tea at lunchtime.

Deep exhalation

If you are unsure of how to deal with anxiety and anxiety, consider breathing exercises. It is a great help to eliminate unreasonable worries. It is necessary to take deep breaths and exhalations several times. As a result, breathing is restored, anxiety recedes.

In order not to be exposed to an anxiety state, one should first of all learn to think positively, communicate with friends and loved ones, and not withdraw into oneself. A person who is open to the world does not worry, but acts.

Date: 2011-11-14

What is fear and how to overcome it?

Overcoming feelings of fear. What are the fears? Why is fear growing? Concrete steps to overcome fear and anxiety.

Good time to you! In this article, I want to consider the topic, how to conquer your fears.

Looking back, each of us can notice that fear accompanies our entire life, starting from childhood. Take a closer look and you will see that in childhood you experienced fear in the same way as now, only then for some reason it did not bother you, you did not pay attention, it came along with some situation and also disappeared imperceptibly.

But then something in life starts to go wrong, the fear becomes almost constant, sharp and twines like a vine.

Until some time, I did not pay special attention to the feeling of fear, but then I had to face the truth and admit that I was cowardly and anxious, although sometimes I did certain things.

Any guess, any unpleasant situation could get mad for a long time.Even things that didn't make much sense began to worry. My mind clutched at any, even unfounded, opportunity to worry.

At one time, I had so many disorders, starting with and ending with obsessions and even PA (), that it began to seem to me that I was just naturally so restless, and this is with me forever.

I began to understand and slowly solve this problem, because whatever one may say, I don't want to live in a nightmare. Now I have some experience and knowledge of how to overcome fear, and I am sure that it will be useful to you.

Do not just think that I coped with all my fears, but got rid of many, and with some I just learned to live and overcome them. Besides to a normal person getting rid of all fears, in principle, is not realistic, we will always at least somehow worry, if not for ourselves, then for those close to us - and this is normal if it does not reach the point of absurdity and extremes.

So let's first understand what the feeling of fear really is?When you know well what you are dealing with, it is always easier to deal with.

What is fear?

Here, for a start, it is important to understand that fear can be of different kinds.

In some cases it isnatural an emotion that helps us and all living things survive in the event of arealthreats. After all, fear literally mobilizes our body, physically makes us stronger and more attentive in order to effectively attack or escape from the subject of threat.

Therefore, this emotion in psychology is called: "Run or fight."

Fear is a basic emotion that all people have.installed by default; signaling function to ensure our safety.

But in other cases, fear manifests itself unhealthy ( neurotic) form.

The topic is very extensive, so I decided to split the article into two parts. In this one, we will analyze what fears are, why they grow, and I will give the first recommendations that will help you learn to more calmly and soberly relate to this feeling and correctly approach situations so that fear does not lead you into a stupor.

The very feeling of fear, all this chill (fever) in the body, obscuring the "haze" in the head, internal shrinkage, covering numbness, dying breath, pounding heartbeat, etc., which we experience when we are scared, no matter how creepy it all seems, but is not more thanbio chemical reaction organism to some irritant (situation, event), that is, this internal phenomenonbased on the release of adrenaline into the bloodstream. Fear in its structure is in to a greater extent adrenalin plus stress hormones.

Adrenaline is a mobilizing hormone secreted by the adrenal glands, it affects the body's metabolism, in particular, increases blood glucose, accelerates heart activity and blood pressure, all in order to mobilize the body. I wrote more about this in the article “”.(I recommend, this will give you an understanding of the connection between the body and the psyche).

So, when we experience fear, we experience "adrenaline sensation ", and so that right now you begin to relate a little softer to the feeling of fear, you can say to yourself: "the adrenaline has started playing."

What are the fears?

In psychology, there are two types of fear: natural (natural) fear and neurotic.

Natural fear always manifests itself whenreal danger, when there is a threatright now... If you see that a car will run over you or someone attacked you, then the instinct of self-preservation will instantly work, the autonomic system will turn on, which will start biochemical reactions in the body, and we will experience fear.

By the way, in life we ​​very often experience natural fear (anxiety), evennot noticingthis, he is so intangible.

Examples of this fear:

• You are reasonably afraid of inattention when driving a car (although there are exceptions), and therefore drive carefully;

• someone is more, someone is less afraid of heights, and therefore, in an appropriate environment, behaves carefully so as not to fall;

• you are afraid of getting sick in winter, and therefore you dress warmly;

• you are reasonably afraid of getting infected with something, and therefore you periodically wash your hands;

• logically you are afraid to describe yourself in the middle of the street, so when you feel like it, you start looking for a secluded place, and you don't run naked down the street, just becausehealthysocial fear helps keep you from having a bad reputation that can harm your career.

Natural fear just plays the role of common sense here. And it's important to understand thatfear and anxiety - normal functions organism , but the fact is that for many of you anxiety has become irrational and excessive (not useful), but more on that below.

Also, a healthy sense of fear (anxiety)alwaysaccompanies us in new conditions. This is fearbefore the new, fear of losing the current comfortable conditions associated with uncertainty, instability and novelty.

We can experience such fear when moving to a new place of residence, changing activity (work), wedding, before important negotiations, acquaintance, exam, or even going on a long journey.

Fear like a scoutin an unfamiliar situation, scans everything around and tries to draw our attention to a possible threat, sometimes even where there is none at all. So the instinct for self-preservation simply reinsured, because the main thing for nature is survival and for it it is better to play it safe in something than to overlook something.

Instinct does not care how we live and feel: good or bad; the main thing for him is safety and survival, in fact, from here, basically, the roots of neurotic fear grow, when a person begins to worry not because of real reasons, but for no reason or for trifles.

Neurotic (constant) fear and anxiety.

Let's start by looking at how fear differs from anxiety.

If fear always associated with realsituation and circumstances, thenanxiety always based onassumptions negative outcomethis or that situation, that is, these are always disturbing thoughts of worries about their own or someone else's future.

If we take a vivid example with an attack of PA, then a person experiences horror for his future, his thoughts are directed to the future, hepresupposesthat something might happen to him, he might die, lose control, etc.

This fear usually arises in the context of stress when we beginoveremphasize everything that comes to mind, , we get stuck and catastrophize the situation.

For example:

• a normal fear for one's health can develop into an anxious obsession with one's condition and symptoms;
• Taking good care of yourself or around the house can turn into germ mania;
• concern for the safety of loved ones can turn into paranoia;
• fear of harming oneself and others can lead to chronic anxiety, and PA, and this, in turn, can result in fear of going crazy or in constant fear of death, etc.

This is neurotic fear when persistent (chronic), increased anxiety some, even leading to panic. And precisely because of such anxiety, the vast majority of our problems, when we regularly begin to feel strong anxiety for all sorts of and, most often, unreasonable, reasons, and become very sensitive to what is happening.

In addition, the anxiety state can be exacerbated by an incorrect or not entirely accurate understanding of some interpretations, such as: "thought is material", etc.

And almost all people have social fears. And if some of them have common sense, then many are completely in vain and are neurotic in nature. Such fears interfere with life, taking all our energy and distracting with imaginary, sometimes unfounded and absurd experiences, they interfere with our development, because of them we miss a lot of opportunities.

For example, fear of disgrace, disappointment, loss of competence and authority.

Behind these fears lies not only the essence of the possible consequences, but also other feelings that people do not want and are afraid to experience, for example, feelings of shame, depression and guilt - very unpleasant feelings. And only because of this, many do not dare to act.

For a very long time I was extremely susceptible to such fears, but everything gradually began to change when I began to change my attitude and inner glance for life.

After all, if you think carefully, no matter what happens - even if they insult us, ridicule, try to offend somehow - all this, most often, does not pose a global threat to us and, by and large, it does not matter, because life will continue anyway and,most importantly, we will have all the chances for happiness and success, everything will depend only on us.

I think what difference does it make who is there and what he thinks of you is important,how do you feel about it ... If someone else's opinion is most important to you, then you are too dependent on people, you do not have - you have anything: dad-rating, mom-rating, friends-rating, but notitself-evaluation, and because of this a lot of unnecessary anxieties, flowing into a neurotic form, I understood this very well.

Only when we startlean on oneself , and not only rely on someone, and we begin to decide for ourselves what impact others will have on us, only then we become truly free.

I really like the saying I read once:

"No one can hurt you without your consent."

(Eleanor Roosevelt)

IN the majoritycases related to society, you are afraid of people only because of the likelihood of experiencing some unpleasant feelings, but there is no point in being afraid of either these feelings or the opinions of people, because everything feelings are temporary and natural by nature, and the thoughts of others will remain only their thoughts. Can their thoughts do harm? Moreover, their opinion is only their opinion out of a billion others, as many people as there are so many opinions.

And if you consider that others, to a greater extent, themselves are concerned about what they think, then they do not care much about you, as it may seem to you. And is it really possible to equate your happiness and someone's thoughts there?

Therefore, first of all, it is very important to learn how to manage by the emotions themselves so as not to be afraid to test them, learn be with them for a while, after all, there is nothing wrong with this, no one happens so that it is always good, besides, any emotions, even the most acute and unpleasant ones, will somehow pass away and, I assure you, you can learn completely calmly be patient. The correct approach is only important here, which will be discussed below.

And slowly change your inner attitude towards yourself and the world around you, which I wrote in the article "" to pay attention to.

Why does fear grow and grow?

There are three areas worth highlighting here:

1. The desire to get rid of fear altogether;
2. Avoidant behavior;
3. Inability to deal with fear, trying to avoid, get rid of and suppress fear all the time in various ways, which leads to this mental phenomenon, how " fear of fear”, When a person begins to be terrified of the very feeling of fear (anxiety), starting to mistakenly believe that these feelings are abnormal, and he should not experience them at all.

Striving to get rid of feelings of fear and anxiety

This instinctive, avoidant behavior stems from the natural desire of all living things not to experience unpleasant experiences.

An animal, having once experienced fear in a situation, continues to instinctively run away from it, as, for example, the case with a dog.

There was a construction site, and suddenly the hose at the cylinder fell off, and not far away was the house where the doghouse was located. The blown hose with its whistle frightened the dog that was nearby, and later it began to get scared and run away not only from something similar to the hose, but even from a simple whistle.

This case well demonstrates not only how instinctive behavior towards certain things (events and phenomena) is formed, but also how fear is transformed, flowing from one phenomenon to another, something similar to it.

The same thing happens in a person who experiences fear and panic, when he begins to avoid first one place, then another, third, etc., until he completely locks himself at home.

At the same time, a person most often is perfectly aware that something is not right here, that fear is contrived and it is only in his head, nevertheless, he continues to experience it bodily, which means he continues to try to avoid it.

Now let's talk about avoidant behavior.

If a person is afraid to fly on an airplane, is afraid to go down the subway, is afraid to communicate, is afraid of the manifestation of any feelings, including fear, or even is afraid of his own thoughts, which I myself was afraid of before, he will try to avoid it, thereby committing one of gross mistakes.

By avoiding situations, people, places, or things, youhelp yourselffight fear, but at the same time,limit yourself , and many form some other rituals.

• Fear of being infected makes a person wash their hands too often.
• People's fear pushes people to avoid socializing and crowded places.
• Fear of certain thoughts can form a "ritual action" in order to protect and avoid something.

The feeling of fear prompts me to runyou give in and run, for a while it becomes easier for you, because the threat has passed, you calm down, but in the unconscious psychejust fix this reaction(like that dog that is afraid of whistling). You seem to say to your subconscious: "You see, I am running away, so there is a danger, and it is not contrived, but real," and the unconscious psyche reinforces this reaction,developing a reflex.

Life situations are very different. Some fears and corresponding avoidances seem more justified and logical, others - absurd; but in the end, constant fear does not allow to live fully, to enjoy and to achieve their goal.

And thus, you can avoid everything, from this fear and grows in life as a whole.

• A young man, out of fear of failure, fear of experiencing a feeling of insecurity (shame), will not go to get acquainted with a girl with whom he could very likely be happy.
• Many people will not start their own business or will not go for an interview, because they may be afraid of new prospects and difficulties, and many will be afraid of the very likelihood of experiencing internal discomfort during communication, etc., that is, fear of internal sensations.

And in addition, many people make another mistake when they begin to resist the fear that has arisen, try to suppress the anxiety that has arisen with an emotional effort, forcibly calm themselves down or force them to believe the opposite.

For this purpose, many people drink sedatives, take alcohol, continue to smoke or unconsciously seize emotions, since food contributes to the production of serotonin and melatonin, which makes the experience easier. This, incidentally, is one of the main reasons why many people get fat. I myself used to often gnaw, drink, and even more often lit up experiences, for a while, of course, it helped.

I'll tell you right away emotions must be allowed to be, if an emotion has already come, whether it is fear or something else, you do not need to immediately resist and try to do something with this feeling, so you just strengthen tension, just watch how this emotion manifests in your body, learn to experience and tolerate it.

All these actions on your part, aimed at avoiding and suppressing feelings, only exacerbate the situation more.

How to overcome fear and anxiety?

Fear, as you yourself already understood, not only plays a useful, protective role, but also prompts you to avoid even potential danger, where it is only Maybe.

It is far from always justified and protects us from danger. Often, he simply makes us suffer and interferes with moving towards success and happiness, which means that it is important for us to learn do not blindly believe and succumb every impulse of instinct, anddeliberately interfere.

Unlike an animal that is unable to change the situation on its own (the dog will continue to be afraid of a useless "whistle"), a person has a mind that allowsconsciouslygo the other way.

Are you ready to go the other way and conquer fear? Then:

1. When some fear arisesdon't need to believe him right away, many of our feelings just lie to us. I was very convinced of this by observing how and where what comes from.

Fear sits inside us and is only looking for hooks to catch on, it does not need special conditions, the instinct is ready to sound the alarm for anything. As soon as we internally weaken, experience stress and a bad state, he right there and begins to climb out.

Therefore, when you experience anxiety, remember, this does not mean at all that there is a danger.

2. The very desire to get rid of it contributes to the growth and intensification of fear.

But to completely get rid of fear, as many dream about it, in principleimpossible... This is the same as wanting to get rid of the skin. Skin is the same ashealthyfear, performs a protective function - getting rid of fear is like trying to peel off your skin.

Exactly your goal is to get ridand having no fear at all makes this feeling even more and sharper. You just think: "How to get rid of, how to get rid of, and what I feel now, I'm scared, horror, what to do when this is over, run-run ..." and you yourself do not allow yourself to relax.

Our task is to bring fears and anxieties, which are justified in certain situations, to a normal (healthy) level, and not get rid of them altogether.

Fear has always been and will be. Realize andaccept this fact... First, stop feuding with him, becausehe is not your enemy, it just is, and there is nothing wrong with it. It is very important to start changing the attitude towards him from the inside and overlook that you are experiencing it.

This emotion is just now excessively acute works inside you because youafraid to test it... As a child, you were not afraid of this, did not attach importance to the feeling of fear and did not want to get rid of it, well, it was and was, passed and passed.

Always remember that this is only internal, chemical reaction in the body (adrenaline plays). Yes - unpleasant, yes - painful, yes - scary and sometimes very, but tolerant and safe,don't resistmanifestation of this reaction, let it make noise and go out by itself.

When fear starts to crushpause your attention and watchwhatever happens inside you, realize thatin the reality you are not in danger (fear is only in your mind), and continue to observe any sensations in the body. Take a closer look at the breath and hold your attention on it, smoothly align it.

Begin to catch thoughts that excite you, it is they that exacerbate your fear and drive you to panic, but not chase them with an effort of will,just try not to get sucked into the mental vortex: “what if, and suddenly, and why”, andnot appreciating what is happening (bad, good),just watch everything , gradually you will begin to feel better.

Here you observe how your psyche and body as a whole react to some external stimulus (situation, person, phenomenon), you act as an outside observer for what is happening in and around you. And thus, gradually, through observation, you influence this reaction from the inside, and it further becomes weaker and weaker. You train your psyche be less and less susceptible to this feeling.

And all this is possible to achieve thanks to "awareness", fear is very afraid of awareness, that read this in the article "".

Not everything will always work out, especially at first, but over time it will be easier and better.

Consider this moment and do not rush into despair if something goes wrong, not all at once, friends, regular practice and time are corny here.

3. An extremely important point:fear cannot be defeated by theory , avoiding behavior - even more so.

In order for it to begin to fade away, you need to deliberately go to meet it.

The difference between courageous, problem-solving people and cowards is not that the former do not feel fear, but that they step over fear,afraid and acting .

Life is too short to be inactive, and if you want more from life, it is necessaryinternally change: to acquire new useful habits, learn to calmly experience emotions, control thinking and decide on some actions, take risks.

After all "Opportunity" is always more important than risk and the risk always will be, the main thing is that the “opportunity” is reasonable and perspective.

To you now very wrongit seems that first you need to get rid of fear, gain confidence, and then act, although, in fact, in reality, everything isotherwise.

When you jump into the water for the first time, you need to jump, it makes no sense to constantly think about whether you are ready for this or not, until you jump, you know and you will not learn.

Step by step, drop by drop, sharp jumps, the majority will not succeed, try to win unceremoniouslystrongfear is ineffective, most likely, it will crush you, preparation is needed.

Start with less significantfears and move leisurely.

• Afraid of communication, you feel uncomfortable among people - start to go out to people and communicate, tell someone something good just like that.
• Are afraid of rejection when meeting the opposite sex - to begin with, just "stay close", then start asking simple questions, like: "How to find such and such a place?" etc.
• Afraid to travel - start traveling, not far to start.

And in such moments, focus your attention and consider what going on inside you when you enter a situation, so you begin to know yourself through the reflection of what is happening, you act and consciously observe everything.

You will instinctively want to run, but there is no easy road here: you either do what you fear and then the fear recedes; or succumb to an elemental instinct and live as before. Fear always arises when we leave the comfort zone, when we begin to act and change something in life. His appearance indicates prospects, and he teaches us to overcome our weaknesses and become stronger. So do not be afraid of fear, be afraid of inaction!

4. And the last thing here: practice and plenty of mental and emotional rest, it is very important to restore nervous system, and for most of you it is extremely shattered, without which you simply cannot act normally.

I also strongly recommend going in for sports, at least a little bit of simple exercises: squats, push-ups, abs - this helps a lot to overcome fear and anxiety, as it improves not only the physics of the body, but also the mental state.

Homework for you.

1. Observe your fear, how it manifests itself in the body and where. It can be discomfort in the stomach, heaviness in the head or "haze", tight breathing, numbness in the limbs, tremors, chest pain, etc.
2. Take a closer look at what thoughts come to you at this moment, and how they affect you.
3. Analyze then whether it is natural fear or neurotic.
4. Write in the comments about your observations, conclusions and ask if you have any questions.

In the next article "" we will talk about individual, important points, it will help you to act better and overcome this condition.

Good luck in your victory over fear!

Best regards, Andrey Russkikh.

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• 07/16/2018. Comments 5

1. Tell me, during PA it is hard to breathe, shortness of breath and, as a result, the fear of suffocating and dying. This is possible, I am very afraid of such attacks and I am afraid that such a strain will not withstand my heart.

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   • Inna read articles about PA on the site

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     • How can you write, sit and watch fear, a person in the strongest panic cannot control himself, in order to understand this, antidepressants are needed, under them the brain receives artificial serotonin and then after an acute state of an attack, you can talk about something from your article

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       • You can observe fear during pa ... you can learn everything! .. Andrey writes about this in detail and about methods, you just need to read carefully and really want to)

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2. Hello) but I have such a question if I go to a psychotherapist how to find out if he can help me or not? I just know such cases people walk for years, but there is no sense (((

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   • Good afternoon Karina. And how to find out - in any way, until you contact - you will not know. Well, in general, you should look at the reviews about the psychotherapist you are going to contact (if any)

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3. Andrey thanks for the articles! I read your book about mindfulness and how to defeat the ocr, I understood a lot, realized, lived a huge number of fears, letting them through myself, I have been using the practice of mindfulness for 2 months, still instincts sometimes win, but awareness is really a strong thing, and during this time I really what it means to live. I've had OCD for over 10 years now and have a few questions. I lived through very strong fears for myself, I trusted in the lack of spirit, and as a result, at an unconscious level, I received life experience that this fear is irrational and I have ceased to be afraid of it. I began to feel an incredible surge of strength and confidence and independence from thoughts. After some time out of the blue, another fear arises from the depths of my memory and I live it again, consciously accept it and it also leaves and I am no longer afraid of it on a subconscious level! So I already have experience. But fears continue to surface, and very serious ones. Now the question is: Am I doing the right thing to live every fear? After all, the experience of previous fears at the unconscious level has already been formed, but with new fears it does not work and you have to live them again? And another question: I understand correctly that when fear appears, consciously accepting it, I agree that it can stay in me and express itself, but I did not agree with what this fear is trying to convey to me? And another question: you write that there should be no internal dialogue, it needs to be stopped, and I am doing this, although it is difficult, but now it is much easier than before. And if I conduct a rational dialogue: I tell myself that I have lived through very strong fears and they have passed, then this one will also pass, is it permissible? And the last question: how long after you began to apply the practice of mindfulness, having received an unconscious experience of the safety and absurdity of your fears, did your thinking rebuild from anxious to a calmer one, not looking for constant threats and experiences?
   I would be very happy if you can answer!

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   • Hello Oleg. It is not necessary to live every manifestation of fear, in the sense that observing and looking closely at each of its reactions, you can safely ignore and do something without paying attention (not attaching importance), the main thing here is not to fight if something has arisen in the sensations , and calmly pass through yourself.
     To admit any feelings in yourself is very good. important, it helps to accept them, and to ignore or not to ignore depends on the situation ... because sometimes fear is quite justified (healthy fear warning about something real) you just need to learn to calmly see how justified (rational) fear is or is it just your own speculation ...
     About the diet. dialogue., look on your own, sometimes it is just important not to analyze anything, and sometimes you can Support yourself by saying something useful, for example, "the thought comes" I will not succeed or I am somehow not like that "- you can answer these harmful thoughts of others - "I will succeed, even if it is not something else, or" I am as I am, this is my right and I deserve the best "
     Your last question is good because you yourself noticed how important it is to accustom the mind to lightness and calmness, because in a calm and clear state, the psyche itself helps us to deal with emotions and thoughts, and they do not cause problems. And in terms of time - everyone is different, I had to spend a lot of time because I did not know many of the nuances, and if you carefully read my book, you are already much more prepared.

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4. how can you watch the fear that rolls over instantly from the side?

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   • hello .. see what leads to fear (what thoughts or images). and how to be in this case, read in other articles on the blog - "Mindfulness" or in the article "how to deal with panic attacks."

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5. Andrey, ya tak blagodarna, za vashu statyu🌷.Ne davno ya bila v Adu ... eto pravda, ya dumala chto dlya menya, net smisla zhit ... dalshe tak kak moat doch bila v glubokom dipressii.No, k sozhaleniyu nasha emigraziya..dala o svete znat.

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6. Vasha statya pomogla mne Zambia posmotret na zhini drugimi glazami

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7. Thank you Andrey!
   I do not regret that I signed up. A lot about me. Tired of the dependence of others. I understand everything, I can not do anything. This is how the parents brought up. They praised little, humiliated a lot, beat them. Scary to remember

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   • please .. Yes, this is enough, but one must understand that parents could not behave differently, many behave this way not because they want to make the child unhappy, and then that they themselves are unhappy, do not know how to love and live the way society taught them.

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8. Thank you very much, Andrey. I really like your articles, I will continue to study them

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   • please)

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9. Andrey, your articles help me a lot. My fears are that I will die, something will happen to me right now, my chest begins to ache, cold sweat all over my body, this makes it even worse. I learn to accept this fear, I convince myself that nothing serious is happening. I probably already got used to living with chest pain. Lately, there is a fear that nothing hurts and does not bother me. How so that nothing hurts, I start thinking about it and anxiety, fear, panic appear again. I want to learn how to cope with fears, I am scared, I have very bad thoughts (about suicide). I think about it a lot and become even more scared, because thoughts, as they say, are material ...

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   • Natalia thoughts without emotions and actions are of little value. and they don't just become material, otherwise all people on earth would live happily thinking about big money, etc.

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10. Hello Andrey.
    I have a terrible fear of loneliness, meaninglessness, and OCD, very strong + an insane passion for fire. Sometimes I don't leave the apartment at all ..
    What to do? Do not know...
    What city are you in? Thanks.

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    • Hello .. I am from Belarus ... what to do - work with my fears. as I wrote in this and other articles, read and apply at least a little bit and there you will see

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11. Good afternoon, tell me, please, but how to deal with fears associated with medical interventions: I am afraid of general anesthesia, fear of not waking up, fear of a doctor's mistake, a feeling of helplessness and the inability to influence the situation!
    Thanks in advance

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    • Hello Natalia .. think, is there a 100% guarantee? this is what prevents you from gaining och. an important thing in life is Trust. I mean, not blind trust, but reasonable. Review information about general anesthesia based on scientific facts and evidence, and then you will probably see that you worry too much and do not trust in vain .. And anyone can make a mistake, no one is immune from this, and this can only be accepted, and not try to control everything, even what is, in principle, impossible

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12. Please help me. I went to a neurologist with PA, they prescribed tranquilizers to me, they did not help me. Then she turned to a psychologist, it seemed that at first everything was fine. But then it started again. I take everything to heart. And I start to scroll all this in my head. Until PA happens. I became afraid to be at home alone. While the husband is at work. It's easier for me to visit or at work, there is no time to even think about it. But at home, all over again. Now I have a fear of heights and that I can jump from the 7th floor, although I do not want to. I am tired of living like this since February. At home with my husband there is constant stress, swearing, and he curtails my blood on purpose. But I have a little daughter. Help me please.

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    • Hello .. read articles on panic attacks, what it is and how to act, as well as articles on VSD and obsessive thoughts. You amplify your fear with some disturbing THOUGHTS, and you need to work with this first.

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13. But what if, getting rid of fears bypassed the fear of killing yourself? I entered this state of meaninglessness ... the effect was plus for plus ...

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14. Hello Andrey, every time I start to observe my negative thoughts, they immediately disappear. Is this a normal reaction? Or I just suppress them this way. Observing thoughts for some reason does not work at all, as soon as I turn my attention towards thoughts, they simply disappear and attention instantly switches to other thoughts or objects. Thank you very much for your website and book !!!
    I'm trying to incorporate your experience into my daily practice, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right.

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    • Hello Natasha .. if you have read my book then a little strange question .. there is a detailed description of this .. read in the chapter "Working with thinking" .. and so you do everything right! Thank you for your feedback!

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15. Andrey, hello. I'm trying your method, but immediately it became much worse. All my life I use avoidant behavior in communicating with people, now, in common, I try to let go of control over PA. Strong fear, to lose face. That someone will see my nervousness or loss of control over In life I learned to communicate in such a way that people think that I am a very calm person and are surprised to learn that I am an anxious person. And now it turns out I break my system of behavior and this causes severe anxiety, I accept it. I try to accept fear, but doubts creep in that I am doing something wrong.
    Before that, I used the method of willpower, that is, agorophobia was acceptable, gradually forced myself to leave the house, farther and farther. Now I walk calmly, but very distant places still cause fear. I tried to distract myself. And by your method I am all the time in shaking, I use it on the street, for example, and it turns out I plunge into my state, and do not get out of it. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, maybe the way of a warrior suits me better? That is, if the situation forces me to take some action, I go with my eyes closed, I get nervous, but then I understand that there seems to be nothing wrong and I relax. And I can only practice mindfulness at home when no one is watching me.

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    • Hello Maria .. you know .. only fools have no doubts about anything, take the doubts more calmly, and the experience of application in the future will show everything .. At first, of course, usually the anxiety is aggravated, but this is such a turning point, then it will be easier and easier! I recommend practicing mindfulness more often, it helps you learn how to handle emotions and thoughts.

      As for I train at home with mindfulness with PA, for the beginning it is good, but then you will need to make up your mind and take at least a small step into real situation, just here it is important to let go of logical control and see that nothing bad is happening, everything depends on you, and awareness is the highest vigilance! How else can you know that you yourself can handle everything ?? in no way other than being in a real situation.

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16. Prompt neurosis and PA are dangerous to life and health?

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    • Hello. .. Ira .. do not be lazy for yourself ... read the articles about panic attacks, VSD and neurosis on the site and you will understand everything.

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17. Andrey, I really like the way you write, it's easy and accessible! Your articles help me a lot, I realized a lot of what was written myself, maybe I was fond of psychology, but still for some reason it didn't help me, some kind of distrust of my own knowledge, and reading you I understand that I was always on the right path , but because of self-doubt, she created barriers to the creation of a harmonious personality. It's great that now people with panic attacks and with neuroses there is a scythe to help, and more than once I myself extinguished my anxiety simply by reading your articles, and after that, with renewed vigor, I began to work on myself. Of course, there is still a lot of work, but now I do not treat my fear and anxiety as something terrible, but I even perceive it as a kind of plus, as an impetus for action and work on yourself, I hope you will continue to help people, because what you do great)))

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18. Andrey, good day! Please tell me how to be in such a situation. I tried to commit suicide, cut the veins in both arms and left large scars on my wrists. I'm very afraid that my acquaintances or someone else will find out about my suicide attempt (friends know), so I hide them in every possible way (avoid the situation): shirts, long-sleeved T-shirts, bracelets, I want to get tattoos, etc. On the one hand, I avoid the situation, and on the other hand, I am not very eager to plunge into the situation and tell everyone. it will already go bravado. Thanks in advance!

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    • Good time, what was, that was, this past that cannot be changed, start living in the present, paying less attention to the past, and less depending on the opinions of people, even those close to you. All your life to hide what someone else knows besides you is pointless. Believe me, the main thing is not what you were before and what you did there, where you can become more important!

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19. Thank you for the article! Tell me in the situation: in driving lessons I do everything without mistakes, like an exam: panic seizes, everything "flies" out of my head and my legs start to rub, even I can’t do anything with them. Help what is the reason?

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20. I read your book about fear, a very useful book, everything is very accessible. But if possible, I would like to ask a question about how to deal with the fear of causing harm, especially to children, mostly my own. It all started not so long ago, 2.5 months ago, after watching film, where the wife stabbed her husband with a knife, abruptly transferred everything to himself, was very scared, my daughter was nearby. After that, the fear of causing harm appeared. I work with a psychologist, I try to identify all the moments of avoidant behavior and do the opposite, I learn to accept these thoughts to live them ... Please advise, what else can you do with this fear?

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    • Hello .. On your question, I understand that you are looking for knowledge that will instantly lead to a solution to the problem, but there is no magic words and magic pills, there are only TRUE ACTIONS, that is, you need not just know, but regularly and HONESTLY APPLY knowledge. So, you write "live thoughts" where in the book did you find it? to live HONESTY you need your emotions (feelings), which causes some thought in you.
      Regarding specifically your problem:
      1 To understand that a wife stabbed her husband with a knife, not just because suddenly, for the wrong reason, she wanted to or her body went and did something there, a whole series of events in her life brought her to this , you see only the end result, not all this previous history. People never do anything just like that, there are reasons for everything, so it is completely absurd to try on the actions of others. (you are not that person and you were not in the place of that woman, you do not know all the reasons that brought her to such a state).
      2. Identify and remove all protective (avoidance) actions that only reinforce the problem. Such actions may include in your case - hiding knives, avoidance is next to your daughter, as well as constant "thinking" about the problem in order to control everything with logic, but in the book I wrote that logic only creates the illusion of control, in reality it does not change anything , you both were afraid and continue to be afraid of losing control and logic is not an assistant here !!! (she only hurts) If you think that by trying to convince yourself, they say, I'm good, I was brought up to be decent and I won't do this, you will solve the problem, then you are deeply mistaken. So stop trying to think and persuade yourself all the time. RIGHT ACTIONS ARE NECESSARY, and I wrote about them in detail in the book. (so use them if you want the result, but just reading is pointless)

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21. Thanks for the answer Andrey, I read the book Obsessive thoughts, fears and VSD. Can you advise what else to read on my topic?

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    • Robert Leahy "Freedom from anxiety", but if you do not do enough of what is recommended, then there will be no sense. Knowledge is useless without their application. And you will again look for new and new ways to solve the problem in the race for a quick and easy result, and every time you will be disappointed, because magic words and pills do not exist!

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22. Andrey, thank you very much for your response ... I really did not read it carefully, now I am trying to experience the emotions that come with these thoughts and do not try to predict events. The most difficult thing for me is to stop scanning myself for symptoms. Can you advise?

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    • All that is needed here .. to catch when you start to do it and not to get involved in this process .. but to smoothly transfer attention to some of your own affairs. or just watching the world. By the way .. it's very important to stop scanning yourself. on the symptoms .. it only reinforced. problem

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23. Andrey, your articles directly helped me to understand and opened my eyes to my fear. I have, like you, fear of your own thoughts) what methods were especially effective in your struggle and do you conduct online consultations?

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    • Hello .. the methods are described in the articles on the site .. and there is a section "consultations"

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24. Hello! I have a fear when dealing with people, not with everyone and not always. My hands are starting to tremble, my face is cramping. Moreover, fear increases with age.

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25. My anxiety is that I think I can't protect my wife if someone offends her ... although I can stand up for her! And I keep scrolling different situations! I pump myself .. and these thoughts are constantly spinning in my head!

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26. Hello Andrey, I really need your help. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It all started with the fact that I fell ill with tonsillitis, the doctor prescribed antibiotics and another medicine for my throat, on the 3rd day of taking antibiotics I have an attack of suffocation at night in the form of a throat spasm, this is not asthma. Such fear, palpitations, cotton legs, my body is not mine at all. I immediately went to the doctors, but they could not tell me anything like that, the gastrologist for some reason decided that it was reflux, I passed a general blood test, tests for immunoglobulin. to some types of allergies, to the thyroid gland, I made a sowing tank from my throat. In general, all analyzes were good, but only the seeding tank showed that there are 4+ streptococci. I went to the ENT with these analyzes, she prescribed an antibiotic for me, which was determined by the culture tank, I started drinking it and immediately on the same day my nighttime attacks of suffocation with a huge amount of mucus and discomfort in my throat stopped. But in the afternoon there are micro spasms that are not clear from what. Already a month and a half has passed since a day ago I had another attack of suffocation at night. I was very scared, and in general I did not tell you the main thing that when I get sick and no one can make an accurate diagnosis, I have a panic and a terrible fear about death, about an insidious incurable disease, and these negative thoughts enslave my mind. help me please

    To answer

    • Hello .. panic due to UNCERTAINTY .. fear of the unknown is one of the strongest. As for choking, I cannot advise anything, but I can assume that since the examinations did not reveal anything serious and the doctors did not tell you directly, then choking is probably associated with a lump in the throat, this is a symptom of stress and fear .. In fact, you need just relax the muscles of the throat and neck when there is a feeling of suffocation .. and see if that helps. You now generally need more calmness, learn relaxation skills and get more mental rest.
      As for obsessive thoughts - read the articles on the site "Obsessive thoughts how to get rid of" and "Causes of obsessive fears", they will help you figure out and understand what to do with thoughts.

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27. Hello .. I can't say anything .. everything is vague in the question .. "some thoughts", fear must be passed through oneself and not try to avoid everything - this is the main thing

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28. I read your articles, I began to apply a little bit, observe my thoughts, feelings from the outside, sometimes it comes out sometimes not, but in the last week these feelings intensified, before I tried to muffle them ... but now I have released them, I feel that they are no longer off the beaten track ... but again you somehow answered me about slowing down, and when supposedly I have thoughts that there is not enough time to speak, I have enough time ... it helps to calm down, but in general it is always and always so 10 years old: before I had a lot of things to do, and I did each with pleasure, + I had a rest, it didn't bother me that I still had something to do, and I did each deliberately, so to speak, now the situation is different, I say there is enough time, I still don’t lets go, this is out of the ordinary, I do one thing, then to have time for another 2.3, even when there are few of them, all the same, panic, anxiety, it's so unpleasant when every time you take on something, and immediately starts, this state is very annoying, so how to convince yourself does not work, the phrase does not work very well, it just calms down It seems to me a little ... It seems to me that it all started with society: time flies, time flies, only 24 hours a day, we don't have time for anything, we need to hurry, life will fly by like 1 second, you won't have time to look back, and in fact this is an unconscious deep psyche? What to do with it? I can’t have a good rest, I’ll do a quick job in my head, and then rest, but this is not always good for me ... since the day can be packed ... (I don’t strive for multitasking, on the contrary I unload myself, but there are special load days). It is not possible to adequately remember what I am doing, where I am, when I slow down again, panic, anxiety, because the following happens: here I am slowing down now (there is enough time), but the thought, damn it, I am slowing down, I will not have time, time goes by ... and again panic, anxiety, this is horror, I never thought that I would drive myself into such a time frame.

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29. Andrey, thank you very much for your articles!

    I want to write to Ksyusha, who wrote on 2018-05-04 00:28 about attacks of suffocation. It sometimes looks like yours when I sleep on my back. I stop breathing in my sleep, or it seems to me that I stop breathing. In general, I wake up in a terrible panic from the fact that there is no air and with screams I gasp for air. Choking with one word. I noticed for myself that it happens when I fall asleep on my back. But this does not happen on the side. Maybe you have something like that and what I have shared is somehow useful to you?

    Reply Reply

30. Hello.
    Against the background of constant stress, I developed neurosis and pa. Only if I can still cope with the anxiety about this, then the sleep disorder frightens me most of all. At first, it was like tremors in the chest, which did not allow falling asleep. Then I overcame it, but began to wake up every hour and a half. Then I managed to calm down with an effort, to be distracted, and everything seemed to start to improve, like a pancake the fear of suffocation came from somewhere, and now, when I fall asleep, I stop breathing ... My hands just drop, I am very tired. Such an insidious disease, then one thing then another, it seems that you will overcome this, something new appears ... help me please, what should I do! I'm desperate.

    To answer

    • Hello. One comment cannot answer such a global question .. read the article on the site, they have a lot on this topic. about anxiety, VSD, neurosis .. as well as about practices .. and apply knowledge

      To answer

31. Good day, Andrey. Thank you very much for your site, the most important thing is that I read and understand that everything is to the point, very competent and to the point. I suffered pa, it all started at the university, aggravated everything with my hyperresponsibility, did not have time to finish university, as a pregnancy happened and everything worsened, as they say thanks to hormones, everything you describe takes place very much, I especially like about awareness, but here is mine the trouble is that my now neurosis of a pregnant woman does not give me any rest at all, I have a fear of death associated precisely with pregnancy, with the pain of childbirth, fear that if I don’t pull myself together, there will be schizophrenia or psychosis. Now it has become difficult to fight and my hands are giving up, because before pregnancy I managed without pills there was sport - this is the number one medicine, meeting with friends, pleasant communication, watching films, thinking about travel, and now there is one horror. Tell me if you had to consult expectant mothers in such a condition, is it fixable, because I think that the condition before pregnancy was very much even nothing and if I came across your site at that time, it would be an additional pill to my "medicines ", and now neither films, nor meetings, nothing pleases, uni, longing, tears, na, depression, I'm afraid to admit the thought that inside new life, and as soon as I think about it, immediately the fear of death, horror in general, then

    To answer

    • Hello Dasha. Yes, now all the more important for you is the support of loved ones and positive communication, and consultations on these issues would be very good. in place. If you want, let's try, I'm sure I can help.

      To answer

32. Thank you very much for the article, I will try, the most important thing from it I wrote out to myself "Anxiety is the assumption of a negative outcome of the situation (its development), so, for example, today I walked with a friend and met two acquaintances on the street and immediately rushed assumptions about the development of the situation 1 they will see that I feel bad (staggers, etc.) 2 will start pinching me and it will make me even worse (staggering, anxiety, etc.) and I will disgrace myself and when they see me next time, it will most likely repeat again, as they will already be to know that I don’t answer anything (since my anxiety is shaking and and and e) I myself am shocked that I wrote so much about the assumption of the development of one situation 🙂 In general, only the point from the pinning came true from this all, although I suppressed the alarm and tried to respond with mutual jokes) I have already read that it is not necessary to jam it.
    Briefly about myself:
    I have been suffering from anxiety for 5 years
    I drink velaxin (antidepressant)
    I have been drinking it for 5 years, I was in remission after 2 years of admission. I was delighted to quit drinking and in 3-6 months everything returned as it was: PA, alarm, shuttle, I can't work, etc.
    Now I drink again in the previous dosage of the pill, so far there is no remission for 2-3 years, I suffer again very much.

    To answer

    • try to hide less anxiety .. it takes all your energy .. And learn to depend less on the opinions of others! let them think what they want .. and you often remember to yourself what is really important ... that is, about your most important goals in life!

      Answer I felt emptiness, emptiness, as if they had torn off a piece of me .. I was sluggish, life was not sweet. My sister began to take care of me, made an appointment with a doctor to advise me how to calm my nerves. They gave me a prescription for Grandaxin, his sister also used to take it some time ago, and she said it was good.
      The drug really calmed me down. The topic is still not pleasant for me, but now it is not so unbearable Reply

    • Hello Andrey

      To answer

    • I just finished taking a course of Grandaxin, I drank as prescribed by a psychotherapist. It was necessary to cope with neurosis and anxiety after one situation in the family that I did not want to talk about. I drank for a month and a half daily, 2 tablets a day with breakfast) throughout the day, I remained vigorous and, for the most part, a positive outlook on things. When you calm down, it is easier to soberly assess the situation with which you are struggling. In general, I can say that psychotherapy is a great thing, it helps a lot to sort out your life and understand yourself.

      To answer

    • Hello. My fear, or rather anxiety, begins with the solar plexus and goes down to the lower abdomen.
      It has arisen recently - financial ruin and fear that my parents will feel bad if they find out about it, once they have already saved me from such a situation. I was driving this fear for a long time, or rather, I tried to replace it with positive thoughts. And now she is a failure, like a chiriy, I have a panic, to the point that I counted all the insurance that my daughter would have, if anything ... I read your article, thank you, Andrey, you are on time. She looked the alarm in the eye, recognized it. I admitted that I am afraid and what I am afraid of. I wrote a letter to fear. Now we need to figure out what to do next.

      Hello. ... TRAIN your psyche to endure this feeling when you are around the balls .. You need to courage. do not run away from these balls. . and vice versa. . to be with them until the feeling becomes easier to bear. And remember. . where .. from what did this fear begin?

      To answer

33. Hello Andrey. I had fear literally a week ago and I was terribly scared of it, they turned myself on. I understand that everything appeared because of a change of workplace. (I will soon be transferred to another work area) I'm afraid it won't work out. Now I have all the symptoms: lack of appetite, poor sleep, loss of attention, concentration, stiffness. I'm just fixated on these symptoms. I have a wonderful husband and little daughter. I want to be happy! Where do I start?

    To answer

    • Hello. ... figure out what you are most afraid of first. . what scares you about changing jobs, that you cannot cope .. and if you don’t cope, then what? That the world will collapse or what? Will someone think badly of you? and so what?

      To answer

34. Hello Andrey. I really liked your articles. I will slowly apply everything on myself. I have a wonderful husband and daughter of 3 years old, a week ago, just a nightmare began. I do not sleep, I have no appetite, anxiety, fear. Thoughts attack, my head does not cook at all. - as if I'm not real. I had this 6 years ago, I went to a psychotherapist for a long time. Everything passed, I got pregnant and everything is fine. But now I got out of the decree and I understand that I’m just afraid of my job, I’m afraid that I’ll do something wrong, the tension goes off scale simply and in general I am afraid of some new beginnings ... Where should I start. I will practice mindfulness and meditation. I am very concentrated on my symptoms.

    To answer

35. Valocordin calms me well

    To answer

Often people experience unreasonable attacks of fear and anxiety. In such a state, it can be difficult for a person to concentrate on fulfilling his duties at work or study, because he expects trouble all the time. He is haunted by a sense of imaginary or real danger. However, peace of mind can be restored. How to get rid of fear and anxiety, will suggest advice from an experienced psychologist.

The main causes of anxiety and fear

If a person wants to get rid of anxious thoughts, he first needs to understand the causes of anxiety, to understand the mechanism of its appearance. There are several factors that affect an individual's state of mind and mood. The inner anxiety of his relative can be transmitted to a person. Small children are very attached to their mothers. If the mother is overcome by a feeling of fear, the anxious mood is also transmitted to the child.

Why is the feeling of anxiety and fear dangerous?

If fear or anxiety arises about a real danger or an unpleasant situation, then after a certain period of time, the state of the individual will return to normal. When the threat disappears, the person returns to his usual life, behaves calmly, he has a great mood and nothing disturbs his soul.

There are situations when there is no apparent reason to be afraid of something or worry about anything. However, a person is tormented by frightening thoughts, he is in an agitated state, constantly waiting for terrible news, is afraid of the people around him. This condition cannot be called normal.

Emotional stress affects the health of the individual. His hands begin to tremble, then tremors appear throughout his body, his pulse quickens, sweating intensifies, and blood pressure rises. Subsequently, this condition leads to development. If they are not treated in time, a person can get sick with some kind of bodily disease. After all, all diseases, as you know, are from the nerves.

You can try to get rid of unreasonable anxiety and fear on your own. In the fight against anxiety and anxiety, the advice of a psychologist will help. They will teach you how to act correctly in those moments when anxiety and fear overwhelms.

Methods for dealing with fear and anxiety:

1. Find the cause of your inner anxiety.

It is necessary to take a close look at yourself, those around you, to understand what exactly caused the disturbing thoughts. It is important to analyze your past. Remember when the feeling of anxiety first arose, what events influenced its appearance.

1. Accept your own fears, do not deny the fact of their existence.

You can cope with anxiety if you do not ignore the problem and do not hide from it. If an individual realizes that he is afraid of something, he will begin to look for the cause of his fears. Subsequently, he will think

1. During a panic attack, try to transfer your thoughts to another topic.

You can't get hung up on bad and destructive states. Anxious thoughts need to be driven away from yourself. When scary guesses come to mind, you need to switch to something fun. Recall funny joke or an incident from life.

1. Learn to relax.

Excitement always takes away mental strength and energy from a person. You can restore them if you learn to relax. You can take a hot bath, read a book, watch a funny comedy movie, listen to calm music. Restoring emotional balance is facilitated by breathing exercises, affirmations, mantras, meditation, yoga, a walk in the forest or park.

1. Discuss your condition with a loved one.

If disturbing thoughts haunt you, you can tell your friend about them. It is important not to keep your guesses in yourself, but to speak out and tell the interlocutor about your problems. Usually, after a sincere conversation, a person feels better at heart, and he calms down.

1. Write a story about your fears on a piece of paper.

If a person cannot understand the cause of his anxiety, he can write about his condition on paper. After a while, carefully read and analyze what was written. As a rule, when a few days pass and the person returns to his notes, he realizes how unfounded his fears were.

1. Smile several times a day.

Even if you don't feel like laughing and there is no reason to enjoy life, you still need to smile. Laughter triggers a reaction in the body, which subsequently leads to a feeling of happiness and lightness.

1. Constantly do something.

If you do nothing and just sit around, sad or frightening thoughts will constantly torment you. You can get rid of them if you do something. For example, cleaning the apartment, reading a magazine, talking on the phone with friends. You can go for a walk in the park, go on an excursion to another country.

1. Surrender to fear for 30 minutes every day.

Getting rid of anxious fantasies is not easy. Thoughts frightening the soul constantly annoy a person, no matter what he does. Throughout the day, you need to drive them away from yourself. And in the evening they need to be given free rein. You can think of the most terrible outcome of a frightening situation. Then for thirty minutes to suffer and cry. Then calm down, watch a funny movie and have a cup of tea with mint and lemon balm.

1. Forget past grievances, forgive your offenders.

There is no point in worrying about events that have already happened. You need to live in the present, and so that past grievances do not make themselves felt, you need to forgive your offenders and try to forget everything.

1. Imagine correcting a frightening situation.

When terrible thoughts torment, terrible pictures are drawn in the mind of a person. You can imagine another outcome of a dangerous situation. For example, worrying about health loved one, you can think of him eating right every day, taking care of himself, drinking healing drinks and medications that help him. Thus, you will be able to convince yourself that your own fears are meaningless.

1. Communicate with people often.

Live communication eliminates any need to visit more often in public places, talk to people, meet and chat with friends.

If a person has no one to talk to, he can talk to himself. Thoughts spoken aloud calm the nervous system. The main thing is to make sure that no one hears them. It is important not to scare your loved ones with your condition. If you can't retire in the house, you can go to a park or forest and shout there and talk to yourself.

Certain foods affect anxiety. For example, sweets, coffee, alcohol, black tea. If a person wants to regain his normal state of mind, he needs to exclude them from the diet. It is necessary to eat foods that, on the contrary, will calm the nervous system. These include, for example, bananas, they help relieve irritability and sleep. Chocolate, nuts, legumes, sea fish, poultry and even ordinary potatoes with beets work well on the nerves. These products contain substances that have a positive effect on the body.

Help of a psychologist in the fight against anxiety and fears

Usually, people cannot independently get rid of creepy fantasies and anxiety that excite the soul. Obsessive thoughts do not leave a person day or night. They become the cause of insomnia or nightmares. If a person does not feel peace of mind or inner balance, he is anxious or scared, then you need to seek help from an experienced psychotherapist. For example, to a psychologist-hypnologist

God! Where is he? I should have returned home half an hour ago! Didn't call, didn't warn. Everything! .. Something happened.

The heart squeezes, tears flow from the eyes, and the imagination helpfully draws plots one more terrible than the other. Uncontrolled anxiety - constant worry for any, even the most insignificant reason - each time covers with a wave of fear and spoils the life of us and our loved ones. Intellectually, we understand in principle that everything will be all right, but there is nothing we can do with ourselves. Yuri Burlan's System Vector Psychology will help you learn how to get rid of anxiety.

When anxiety gets in the way

Under certain circumstances, we all feel a sense of anxiety and concern for loved ones. It's ok when there are real reasons - a serious illness, important events or life troubles. Once the reasons go away, we can easily get rid of anxiety and fears.

But what if there is no justified reason, and anxiety arises, and suddenly, from scratch. This state fills everything. We cannot adequately think and communicate, we cannot sleep and eat. Horrible scenarios appear in our heads as terrible images of misfortunes, catastrophes with the participation of loved ones.

Anxiety and fear become our constant companions, poisoning the life not only of us, but also of the people about whom we worry. We try to somehow relieve stress - we try to get to the bottom of the cause of the anxiety, we persuade ourselves not to worry, but to hope for the best. In general, we do everything to relieve the feeling of anxiety and get rid of it forever, up to visiting doctors and taking medications.

But nothing helps. Feelings of fear and anxiety come from somewhere inside, and there is nothing we can do about it. Our nerves cannot withstand the constant stress created by our fantasies. . We feel like we are completely out of control of our lives. Due to unreasonable anxiety states, we begin to live in a fictional reality similar to horror movies. Is it possible to get rid of this nightmare? Yes. So, everything in order ...

Systemic justification for anxiety and its causes

In order to get rid of constant anxiety and related bad conditions, we must first of all find out what anxiety is. In the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan there is such a concept - the feeling of security and safety, which is vital for every person from childhood to the most advanced years. So, anxiety and fears inherent in it are one of the forms of loss of a sense of security.

No matter what scenario our anxiety develops, it is always associated with the presence of certain vectors - properties and qualities that we inherit from birth. For the owner of the anal vector, the overvalue is the family - children, parents, spouses. He is terribly afraid that a tragedy will happen to them - someone will die, get sick or fall into a catastrophe. This fear of losing one of the family members, of being alone - even hypothetically, in fantasies - is the cause of constant uncontrollable anxiety. It is very difficult to get rid of such anxiety.

If a person, in addition to the anal vector, also has a visual one, then he needs a strong emotional connection... When the owner of the visual vector is able to sincerely compassion and empathize with his loved ones, the feeling of causeless anxiety does not arise. He brings his emotions out - out of fear for himself into love and sympathy for other people.

But if such development does not occur, then the owner of the visual vector experiences such a strong fear for himself and his future that he begins to demand attention from others. Such people fantasize a lot and are very anxious if it seems to them that no one loves them. They begin to harass loved ones with questions, demanding confirmation of feelings.

Another option is overprotective. If it is not possible to realize one's abilities and knowledge in society, then close people become the only object of their application. Parents are ready to “strangle” the child with their love, never letting go of their influence. They try to emotionally tie him to themselves, coming up with more and more new rules that he must follow - to come exactly on time, call a hundred times a day and report where he is and what is wrong with him.

Guardianship often develops into manipulation of a loved one. Anxiety in such cases can be not only a painful condition, but also turn into emotional blackmail.

Temporary relief and a feeling of calmness happens in those short moments when everything is going according to the prescribed scenario, and those around you follow the established rules. However, practice shows that over time, close people begin to break the established order and get rid of influence and guardianship. Then the feeling of fear and anxiety for your future returns with renewed vigor.

All of these cases have one thing in common - a person who is in a constant state of anxiety suffers greatly. Living day after day in states of fear and anxiety, he is deeply unhappy. A life filled with joy and pleasure passes by, leaving him only anxiety and disappointment. Neither advice from friends and doctors, nor medications, nor changes in diet and physical activity help. How, then, can you get rid of constant fear and anxiety?

There is only one answer - you need to realize yourself, understand the unconscious desires and abilities that are given to you from birth, and try to realize them. Handicrafts and drawing will help to bring emotions out. You can create beautiful things that will bring joy to you and the people around you, transfer the experience and knowledge accumulated by you in different areas activities - from cooking to gardening.

You will enjoy helping people who need compassion and empathy. By bringing emotions outside, showing love and compassion for them, you will not even notice how unreasonable anxiety and fears disappear from your life.

We part with anxiety and begin to live

If you are already tired of all sorts of misfortunes that your imagination paints, then it's time to part with anxiety and fears. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives you the opportunity to realize the causes of uncontrollable anxiety and say goodbye to it. The results of hundreds of people who have undergone training, who have forever got rid of anxiety and fears, leave no doubt about the highest effectiveness of this knowledge.

“… For years I suffered from causeless anxiety, which often fell on me. Psychologists helped me, but it was as if one hundredth was leaving, and then fears came again. My rational mind gave a logical explanation for half of my fears. But what's the use of these explanations if there is no normal life. And causeless anxiety in the evenings. By the middle of the course, I began to notice that I began to breathe freely. The clamps are gone. And by the end of the course, I suddenly noticed that anxiety and fears had left me. No, it happens, of course, these states pile up again, but somehow lightly and superficially. And there is even bewilderment, why am I afraid of anything at all.,. "