Why some people are easily raging friends, successful in the team, get enhanced by the service, build a career, and others who do not laggards first in education and erudition, can not boast of similar success? What is it - luck, virtuoso hypocrisy or maybe witchcraft? The authors of the book "Include charm on the method of special services" believe that life success Depends on the ability to produce a good impression on people. And this quality is not a congenital gift, it is a skill that can be learned by mastering a special technique. Read the work of the former Agent FBI Jack Schafer and Professor Marvina Karline and become the first in all spheres of life!

Menu Articles:

Briefly about the authors

- Ex-Special FBI, Professor of Psychology. Schafer has a giant experience in preparing counter-terrorism operations and the development of recruitment scenarios. He was engaged in teaching special equipment on people's influence techniques. Today, Schafer is headed by Schafer and Associates, which works with special agents, law enforcement officers, lawyers. With his knowledge and tremendous experience with the general audience, Jack is divided into books, because he is convinced - the method of special services is applicable in everyday lifeWhen you just need to position the personnel manager at the interview or tie a conversation with a girlfriend you like.

- co-author of the book "Include charm according to the method of special services", professor of management. Carliners wrote 24 books (especially popular with His "I see what you think"), published more than 200 articles in scientific journals, often performs on radio and TV, and also advises companies with world names.

What is the book: professional charm

Book of Schafer and Carlice - Collection of Rules, useful Soviets and practical recommendationsreinforced scientific facts and real life stories. She teaches to produce a good impression on the interlocutor (regardless of how long you are familiar and in what situation your communication is going on), to unmistakably recognize the lie, manage your own emotions, understand the behavior of others and literally reading their thoughts.

The main advantage of this publication in its polishedness, it is indeed a very wide circle of people:

• persons working in the field of sales (both beginners and experienced personnel);
• employees of B. different areas to achieve higher results and promotion;
• ordinary consumers who wish to receive quality services and decent service;
• parents and teachers to build healthy relations with children;
• people who are long and unsuccessfully in search of the second half;
• everyone who wants to lead an interesting, active and successful social life.

The book is relatively small - there are only three hundred pages in it. It is written in a simple friendly manner, not at all as professors say usually. Thanks to the abundance of interesting life stories, read "Turn on the charm ..." Put fiction.

From the book you will learn:

• how to cause a location;
• what is the formula of friendship;
• how to attract attention, without uttering a word;
• friendship and attractive laws;
• psychology of proximity;
• methods for establishing and maintaining long-term relationships;
• underwater stones of communication and friendship in the virtual world.

After reading the book of Shaper-Carlits, you will certainly want to self-improve further. We recommend to watch our selections of the top 10 books on psychology and the development of personality and 10 books, after which they want to live. You will certainly find something interesting for yourself!

Operation "Chaika": the story of one recruitment

The present book is the fruit of many years of experience in Special FBI Jack Schafer, and therefore, in the first chapter, the author tells the story of one recruitment, which becomes an eloquent confirmation of how secret charming codes are important in building interpersonal relationship.

The main hero of this story (a seagull appears under the codenate name) worked as a diplomat. The task of Shafher and his team was to turn the diplomat to the side of the United States. Since the seagull was an experienced officer of intelligence, the recruitment script demanded long-term preparation. For a long month, the Schafer team was the psychological and social portraits of the seagulls. They learned about the disagreements of the object with the leadership, that he promises a little pension, that he would like to move to the US ...

When the operation was launched, the American agent has not entered the seagull's personal contact for a long time. He became his shadow, but the shadow of a friendly, understanding and ... very charming. The experienced officer immediately figured out a surveillance, but she did not instill him fears, for the months it would be used to her solemless satellite, and because the agent first went to contact, his conversation with the seagull was very calm, ended on a major note and opened the opportunity for further negotiations.

The result of the operation was the recruitment of the seagull by the United States. The task was completed successfully and the pledge of such an outcome was primarily a competent scenario. The authors of the book tell in detail this story of not entertainment for the sake of, thereby submitting the reader to an important conclusion - as it is important to arrange a person to himself even before the beginning of the conversation. As compilation psychological portrait And the faithful assessment of the future interlocutor is important in choosing the necessary strategy of behavior. And most importantly, the method of special services is applicable in practice. This authors prove in all subsequent chapters.

Formula friendship and its use in real life

Friendship is not an unconscious feeling that arises in itself, she has the authors of the book, there is quite a real formula.

Friendship \u003d Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity

Consider the detailed main components of this formula.

Under proximity Understand the distance between you and another person. It is important in this case the regularity of your appearances in the field of view of the object of proximity. In the case of a seagull, the American agent from the first day was in absolute proximity to the object, but he kept a comfortable distance until the object gets used to. For another person, a sense of personal safety is very important. The minimum threat can break the connection and break trust forever.

Frequency - this is the number of contacts per unit of time, and duration, accordingly, their duration. In the case of a seagull, both of these indicators walked along the increasing. The agent became increasingly appearing in the field of view of the object and spent more time with him.

Intensity - Maximum satisfaction of the psychological and physical needs of a person, regardless of what form is your communication - in verbal or non-verbal. In the case of a seagull, the agent caused curiosity from the diplomat. It was interesting for him to learn what kind of person it could and could he bring him advantage, and since the FBI officer acted very delicately, a positive interest was not interrupted by fear, panic and hostility.

Confirming that friendship formula works not only in the case of recruitment of foreign diplomats, the authors lead as an example a household situation that will be closer and clearer to the ordinary reader. Her the main character Philipp is a guy from a small town that has just moved to Los Angeles. It turned out to make new friends not so easy when you are not a student and do not live in a hostel. The specialist advised him to visit the bar. The task of Philip was to regularly enter the same bar, to establish a short visual contact with regulars and go to the bar.

Philip was fond of collecting crafts from marble. His unusual hobby was decided to use as bait. The guy brought with him a few figures and a magnifying glass and was accepted to consider them with interest. Bartender who had to join him in contact for the debt of the service, became a kind of "conductor" between Philip and his potential friends.

Barman really asked a friendly young man than he does. Their short, but an interesting conversation was remembered by a bar, because the next time he recognized Philip and accepted how his own. Soon between them a friendly relationship began, he told about the hobby of Philip to other visitors, therefore, the hobby became the starting theme for communication. The guy thanked specialists, because with the help of this uncomplicated strategy, he found buddies in big city.

As you can see, all ingenious is simple! This is just one of the many scripts that intelligibly describe the authors in their book. Read with it, apply these methods in practice and make your life better. Count on a happy case very arrogant!

Include charm on the method of special services, Jack Schaphers and Marvin Karlys

5 (100%) 2 votes

Charm of charm on the method of special services. Meet the book "Turn on charm on the method of special services" from the Myth publishing house. Book include charm wrote 2 agent special services Jack Schaphers and Marvin Carlice. Read the article and find out how to use the power of charm and the secrets of charm from the book to get, friends, business partners and spouse.

The power of charm on the method of special services Book

For a long time I have not met books written in the scheme: a textbook with illustrations and explanations to them.

However, the Myth publishing house again pleased with the quality translation of the book equipped with explanatory photos and practical advicewhich is easy to perform even an inexperienced reader.

So probably, a technique for agents of special services should look like, which the entire coil use their charm to instantly "become their own" in any campaign, among unfamiliar people.

Cover books "Turn on charm on the method of special services"

We, as readers of the book, D.Shefera and M. Carlin's, can use the secrets and the power of charm to become "Charming Milashka" or "Charming charm", And to achieve your goals in dealing: to find a lot of friends and acquire useful ties and acquaintances.

"I realized that people would forget what you were talking about, and forget what you did, but they will never forget that you forced them to feel". Maya Angel

All the books of Dale Carnegie, which you can find and download - no comment, as well as:

• Psychology beliefRobert Caldini, Steve Martin and Noa Goldstein

• Mastery of communicationPaul McGee

• Laws of influenceSusan Vainshenk

• Art of influenceMark Gowleston and John Ullman

• I hear you through Mark Gowstone

People who feel a threat, instinctively hide sleepy arteries, pulling their heads in the shoulders, and open the neck when meeting with a person, from which nothing terrible is expected.

Head slope - Very friendly signal. People who are inclined when communicating the head of the side seems to each other much more attractive and trustworthy.

A man who approaches the woman, slightly tilting his head to the right or left, she will find more interesting and beautiful than it really is.

Turn on charm: head slope

Similarly, men consider more attractive women who inclined their heads aside when talking.

Turn on charm. Secret 3: Smile

A smile makes our brain produce endorphins, and this is one of the pleasure. That is why smiling people bring joy and pleasure from communicating with them.

Smile - Powerful friendliness signal. A smiling face seems more attractive, pretty and less arrogant.

A smiling person is easier to approach the party with strangers.

Turn on charm: smile

The only difficulty is to smile sincerely, people immediately distinguish a sincere smile from fake.

Charm of Charm: Smile Test

Look at the last picture I took from the book "turn on charm" and determine: in what photo: the left or right smile of a young man sincere?

What determined? Write in the comments How did you answer and why - what signs rest?

Turn on charm: conclusions

• The most important output From this article: quickly buy yourself a bookJack Schaphers and Marvin Carlice wrote and which the Myth Publisher translated for you, because it will very soon become a rarity.

• Use 3 Secret Charging. When you go to the bar to a party or in new office, For a moment skid your eyebrows, slightly tilt headsu I. smile. Sincerely. Enjoy communication with new friends.

• Write your own secretion of charm in the comments. Write comments - and gain at least one friend and mentor: the author of this blog is.

Share the article and 3 charm secrets on a social network with your friends:

Turn on the charm by the method of special services and forget to turn off - Here is another secret of happy communication, complete pleasure and enthusiasm.

Read the best materials of the psychologist happiness on this topic!

• How to develop memory? Today is a new book review book about the classical methodology for the development of memory. In the book "Development of memory. Classical manual for [...]

Current page: 1 (In total, 20 pages) [Available excerpt for reading: 5 pages]

Marvin Carlice, Jack Schap
Turn on charm according to the method of special services

Jack Schafer, Marvin Karlins

THE LIKE SWITCH:

An Ex-FBI Agent "S Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over

Published with the resolution of Touchstone, A Division Of Simon & Schuster, Inc. and literary agency Andrew Nurnberg

Legal support for publisher provides the law firm "Vegas Lex"

© John Schafer, Ph.D. and marvin karlins, ph.d., 2015

© Translation into Russian, publication in Russian, design. Mann, Ivanov and Ferber LLC, 2015

* * *

This book complements this book:

Psychology belief

Robert Caldini, Steve Martin and Noa Goldstein

Mastery of communication

Paul McGee

Laws of influence

Susan Vainshenk

Art of influence

Mark Gowleston and John Ullman

I hear you through

Mark Gowstone

My wife helen, gifted by love, strong character and, moreover, patience, which allowed her to demolish my eccentrics during the thirty years of our marriage.

Jack Shafhers

My wife Edith and daughter Amber. Thank you for being there, for what you have achieved, for the love that enriches the lives of many people.

Marvin Carliners

Introduction
How to arrange the location

It would not have occurred to anyone to decipher the FBI abbreviation as a federal bureau of the Raduchia. In this organization, I worked for twenty years by an agent specializing in behavioral analysis, and over the years have developed the ability to quickly evaluate people, understand their characters and develop a strategy of behavior with them. My responsibilities included convince people to cooperate with the FBI, acting against them native country, or identify criminals and inclined them to recognize, sometimes without pronounce a single word for it. As a specialist in behavioral analysis, I developed a strategy to recruit spies and make friends from sworn enemies. In other words, I have acquired skills and created technical techniques that have turned the enemies of the United States of America in friends and voluntary spies in favor of my country. In short, in front of me stood the challenge to conquer the sympathies of people.

The case with Vladimir (I changed the names and personal characteristics The people mentioned in the book and sometimes created some kind of character from several to make examples more visual) excellently shows what the essence of the case. Vladimir illegally arrived in the United States for the purpose of espionage. He was caught when trying to take possession of secret documents of the Ministry of Defense. To me, as a special Agent, the FBI was instructed to work with him. In the first interrogation, he stated that he would not talk to me under any circumstances. In order to overcome the resistance of the arrested, I began with the fact that at interrogations just sat in front of him and was accepted to read the newspaper. I read for quite a long time, then folded the newspaper, put on the table and, not a word, leaned out of the Cabinet. Day after day, a week for a week I came to question, read the newspaper, left her on the table and left, and Vladimir was sitting on the contrary, chained with handcuffs to the table.

Over the next month we spoke about anything, except spyware. Then, one day, Vladimir suddenly said: "I am ready to talk about what I did." He began to express his thoughts freely and frankly because he was forced to this by force, but because I liked him and he began to consider me his friend.

The interrogation technique that I applied in working with Vladimir may seem meaningless. But in fact, I carefully planned my actions to get from the arrested desire to admit and cooperate with the FBI. In this book, I will reveal my secret and explain how I won the location of Vladimir, and how, using the same technique, you can cause sympathy from almost any person for a while or for life. I can do it, because, as it turned out, the skills of communication, developed by me in order to gain friendship of potential agents and their recruitment, can be equally efficiently used to establish friendly relations at home, at work and in any other places and communication situations.

I must confess, at the beginning I did not understand that you can use my professional skills in everyday life. Such an opportunity attracted my attention only at the very end of my career in the FBI. At that time, I taught young intelligence officers to recruit agents. One day, before the start of a new semester, I came to work for half an hour before practicing to prepare a classroom. To my surprise, there were already two cadets in the classroom. I did not recognize them. They sat like approximate disciples, in the first row, putting hands on the table. This behavior of the cadets surprised me a lot: they rarely were on classes in such a year. I asked what happened who they were and why they came so early.

- Do you remember Tim from the previous group? - asked one of the cadets.

"Yes," I replied.

- A couple of weeks ago we were with Tim in the bar. He told us about your lectures to influence and build trust relationships.

- So what? .. - I asked, still not understanding where he was clone.

- Tim boasted that in the classes learned how to pick up any girl.

"And they decided to experience him," the first continued. "We chose the first woman that fell, which was sitting in the bar, and offered Tima without a single word to invite her to sit at our table to drink.

- And what did he do? - I asked.

"He took the challenge," the cadet exclaimed. "We decided that he was crazy and takes too much." But after forty-five minutes, the woman really went to our table and asked if she could not sit in our company. We did not believe our eyes, but everything happened this way.

I looked at them testingly.

- Did you find out how he did it?

- Not! - exclaimed one of them, and then they admitted to unison: - We came to learn!

Initially, I felt bewilderment and reminded them of our profession. I said that the purpose of classes is to train cadets to work in intelligence, and not the upbringing of pickup masters. But after a short meditation, I suddenly, to my own surprise, dawned. By reflection about Tim's mind, I realized that the methods for recruiting spies can be used for victory in love games. Moreover, in a broader sense, this technique can be used in all cases when it is required to win the location of the person in almost any interpersonal interaction. This illumination became the initial point of work on this book and determined its content.

After dismissal from the FBI, I continued to work on a doctoral dissertation on psychology and began to teach at the university. It was at this time that I embrace my plan, writing a book designed to help people establish successful interpersonal relationships at home at work and in all places where such relationships are necessary. For example:

Newslands can use these methods to attract new customers;

Experienced sellers will also benefit from the book, learning to support and develop existing relationships, as well as, naturally, attract new buyers;

All employees, from Wall Street managers to restaurant waiters, can use the proposed tactics for more efficient interaction with management, colleagues, subordinate and clients;

Parents can apply new knowledge to correct, maintain and strengthen relations with children;

Consumers will learn to get better service, enter into more favorable deals and attract favorable attention from the service personnel;

And, of course, people wishing to establish friendly or romantic relationships will be able to take advantage of the proposed techniques for the development of skills to overcome difficulties in this difficult business (which is becoming more complex in the digital era).

This book is intended for anyone who wants to find new friends or strengthen existing relationships, make more pleasant. random meetings, as well as get more tips and bonuses.

How to cope with friendship challenges

People are public creatures. Human species is programmed to find friends. This desire is rooted in our distant primitive past, when unity gave the best chances to take up the top places in the food chain, when we left the caves and began to fight for survival in a hostile and merciless world. If you think that at that time the search for friends was pleasant and easy business, unfortunately, mistaken. Today, the results of many sociological surveys and research show that the world has a growing number of people who feel lonely and incapable even to start acquaintance, not to mention that to build meaningful, deep and long-term relationships. The problem is exacerbated by widespread introduction into our lives. social networkswhich are even more isolated people from each other, prevent the establishment of trustful personal relationships.

To come into contact with people, especially unfamiliar, is always difficult. Moreover, these contacts are associated with unpleasant and even frightening experiences. It does not matter, a man you or a woman. In any case, you are experiencing fear: the fear of embarrassment, the fear of failure, the fear of offending and hurts other people's feelings, fear to make a bad impression and even fear of possible manipulation and unsuccessful use of you with another person.

Fortunately, the establishment of relations does not necessarily lead to a catastrophe. If you want, contrary to difficulties, make friends or simply improve existing relationships with anyone, be careful. You are not alone, and your situation is not hopeless. I wrote this book specifically in order to reduce your alarm due to maintaining relationships at work and at home, with your favorite people or the need to enter into new relations with strangers. The methods described in it are based on advanced scientific data, so they will give you a chance to learn how to people, without pronounce a word. In this book you will find different tips on the use of non-verbal signals, with the help of which, as well as with the help of words, you can instantly seek the location of any person. However, in the end you will still have to speak. Words turn a sense of sympathy into friendship, and sometimes in long-term long-term relationship.

Fruitful personal relationships, no doubt, are available to you. This is not a question of chance or luck. Friendly, trusting relationships are established thanks to the use of tested scientific knowledge and proven interaction methods with others.

So, now from the unconditional ability to make friends of you are separated only three steps.

1. You must penetrate the sincere desire to master the methods and receptions described in the book, and do not regret it. These methods resemble electric tools that enjoy building workers. All the cunning is to allow the tool to work. For example, in early youth, I saw wooden blanks with manual hacksaw. One day, my father allowed me to take a recently bought circular saw. I began to work by clicking on her the same way as on the hand saw. Seeing this, my father patted me on the shoulder and said that I would not give me so much and allowed the saw calmly and well to fulfill my job. The techniques described in the book require exactly the same common approach. Applying them, be calm, stay yourself and give them to work for you. You will be quite surprised by the result.

2. You must constantly apply new knowledge to interact with people surrounding you in everyday life. What is known to you best way Actions, well only in cases where you use it in practice. Remember that knowledge without practical application - Dead knowledge.

3. Reinforce the learned material by constant practice. Friendship skill is similar to any skill. The more often you use them, the better you get. The less often you apply your skill, the most likely to lose it. Having done these three steps, you will understand that you make friends for you, it has become the same familiar and inconspicable thing to breathe.

The ability to cause sympathy is available, it is in front of you. In order to master this art, simply use the information set out in the book, and follow how your LQ will grow (Likability QUOTIENT), or a sympathetic coefficient.

1. Formula friendship

I realized that people would forget what you were talking about, and forget what you did, but they would never forget that you made them feel.

Maya Angel 1
Maya Angel (1928-2014) - famous American poetess, writer and wrestler for civil rights. Approx. ed.

Operation "Seagull"

The code name of this person is a seagull. He was a high-ranking foreign diplomat. If we managed to recruit it, it would be a big and valuable acquisition for the United States of America.

However, we had to solve one difficult question: how to convince a person to give up devotion to their native country? To do this, it was necessary to somehow make friends with the seagull and make it a proposal from which it is impossible to refuse. To cope with such a task, we needed patience, careful collection of information about all the sides of the life of this person and the establishment of friendly relations between him and the American, who would have become trusted.

According to our data, he went around several times with an increase in service, and, moreover, our employees managed to overhear how the seagull said his wife, that he likes life in America and he would love to resign and settled in the United States if it It was possible. In addition, the seagull was concerned about the fact that he had a small pension in his homeland. Armed with these information, security analysts suggested that the diplomat would be able to incline on our side if they offer him sufficient financial compensation.

Now there was a close relationship with the seagull, without scaring with its prospect of coarse recruitment, and this is a difficult task. The Operational Officer of the FBI Charles was instructed to establish contact with the seagull, gradually get close to him and bring the relationship of relationship to such an extent when it is possible to make a specific proposal. So good wine Conduct to the necessary maturity to enjoy his bouquet. The agent was warned that if he would show an excessive hasty, the seagull would most likely be prevalent and to avoid contacts. To begin with, the agent should adhere to the tactics of establishing friendships. The first thing Charles had to like the seagull, without uttering a single word. The second step would be an expression of sympathy with the words with a hint for a long friendship.

Preparation for the first, the most important meeting of Charles with the seagull lasted for several months. Outdoor observation established that once a week the object came out of the building of the embassy and went shopping at the grocery store located in a pair of quarters from the embassy. Charles received instructions to regularly come across a seagull on the eyes in different places of the route. The agent was warned so that he would not approach the seagull, in order not to cause suspicion, but simply came across to his eyes: it was, so to speak, "here" so that a foreign diplomat notice him every time.

Being an intelligence officer himself, the seagull very soon noted the FBI agent, which, must be recognized, and did not strive to conspire. Since Charles did not attempt to get closer to the seagull or speak with him, he did not feel any threat. He just got used to the fact that American from time to time comes across his eyes.

Several weeks passed, and once, being once again close to the American, the seagull looked into his eyes. In response, Charles nodded his head, making it clear that he noticed this gesture, but did not show more interest and did not attempt to establish verbal contact.

A few more weeks passed, and only after that, Charles began to intensively contact the seagull at the non-verbal level. : More often to look into his eyes, throw your eyebrows, tilt your head and put a little forward a chin. The human brain interprets these gestures as "friendly signals."

The next step in rapprochement with Challend Charles did another two months. He entered him to the store, but held at a respectful distance. Now, with each next visit to the store, the Charles diplomat followed him, still following the distance, although several times passed by the seagulls in the passages of the supermarket. At the same time, the agent began to look more likely to look into his object. Charles noticed that the diplomat always bought a peas in the store. After a few more weeks, Charles headed after the seagull to the shelf with a peas and, when he reached for a jar, smiling, also took the peas from the shelf, and turned to the seagull: "Good afternoon, my name is Charles, I am a special FBI agent. He smiled back and said: "For some reason I thought so." After this harmless meeting and dating between Charles and Seull, a strong friendship was established. In the end, the seagull agreed to supply his friend from the FBI with valuable information.

A random observer Multi-month trample of the Charles agent could seem unnecessary and incomprehensible, but he did not accidentally wait for so long. In fact, the recruitment strategy was carefully thought out and worked as a virtuoso psychological operation, the purpose of which was to establish friendly relations between the two people who themselves would never only make friends, but did not meet.

As a specialist of the analytical center of the FBI, I, together with my colleagues, participated in the development of the seagull recruitment script by our operational employee. The goal was to force a seagull to get used to the presence of Charles and make the first acquaintance to turn into friendship - if, of course, the agent will be able to make a good impression on the recruitment object. The task was complicated by the fact that the gull and himself was an experienced officer of intelligence and could consider any attempt with suspicion any man to meet him. Then in the future it would be at any cost to avoid a suspicious stranger.

In order for Charles to successfully implement our plan, it was necessary to create such conditions so that a foreign diplomat would be psychologically comfortable to communicate with the American agent. Therefore, Charles had to take several specific actions that he fulfilled with great andm success. These steps are no different from those who have to do any person who wants to establish with someone short-term or long friendly relationships.

Taking advantage of the case with a seagull as an example, we are now investigating that led Charles to the success in recruitment. In this case, the FBI agent used formula friendship.

Formula friendship

Formula of friendship consists of four main components: proximity, frequency, duration and intensity. These four variables can be written in the form of the following non-good mathematical equation:

Friendship \u003d Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity

Proximity is a distance between you and another person, as well as your regular appearance in the field of his vision. In the case of a seagull, Charles did not just approached him and introduced himself. Such behavior, on the contrary, would only pushed a foreigner. Features of the situation required a more cautious and weighted approach. It was necessary to give a seagull the opportunity to get used to Charles and not to perceive it as a threat. To achieve this goal, a factor was used nearby. Proximity is an indispensable component of all interpersonal relations. One point in the field of view of the recruitment object is critical to identifying personal relationships. The proximity awakens in the subject sympathy for you and causes mutual attraction. As a result, people begins to pull each other, even if they are not exchanged in words.

The main condition for creating proximity is to be in a safe setting. If a person feels a threat from an overly obsessed and too close presence of another person, he is alarming and tries to catch up, avoiding further convergence. In the scenario of contacting the chairls, the Charles retained a sufficient distance so that he does not perceive it as a source of danger and did not include the response of struggle or flight 2
According to the theory of American physiologist Walter Kennon, developed in the 1920s, negative emotions, such as anger or fear, are biologically appropriate: they prepare the body to develop the most intensive muscular activity, entering into a fight or escape by flight. This physical phenomenon received the name of the response of struggle or flight. Approx. ed.

The frequency means the number of contacts in which you enter with another person per unit of time, and the duration is the duration of each contact. After time, Charles added the impact of the second and third factor of friendship - frequency and duration. He did it, more often by the diplomat on his eyes during his campaigns to the store (frequency). After a few months, Charles turned on the component of the duration, starting spending more time with the seagull whenever he fell into the field of his vision - for example, he segained it in the store, increasing the duration of each contact.

Intensity is the ability to satisfy psychological and (or) physical needs of another person by verbal or non-verbal behavior. The latest component of the friendship formula, intensity, was added gradually as the seagull got used to the presence of Charles and realized the visible reluctance of the FBI agent immediately go to direct contact. In this case, the intensity was expressed in the factor curiosity. When a new stimulus appears in the habitual environment (in our example, a stranger appeared in our example), the brain defines, presents this incentive true threat or imaginary. If he identifies it as a real threat, then a person will try to eliminate or neutralize it, the response of struggle or flight will be included. If, on the contrary, the new stimulus is not perceived as a threat, it becomes an object of curiosity and a person seeks to find out who is it? Why is he here? Can I use it for your benefit?

Being at a safe distance, Charles caused an curiosity from the seagull, which prompted him to find out who this person is and what he wants.

Later, the seagull admitted that at first glance, recognized the FBI agent in Charles. The truth is or not, but the seagull caught the friendly signals that Fabeerec sent him. And his curiosity only increased after he found out that Charles actually works in the FBI. Definitely, a foreign diplomat understood that he would want to recruit, but he wished to know, for what purpose at what price. Since the seagull was dissatisfied with his career growth and worried about a rapid retirement, he undoubtedly lost in the mind of different scenarios of interaction with Charles, including spyware in favor of the United States.

The decision to become a spy is not accepted in one day. A potential candidate takes time to rationally justify its tactics and justify the refusal of devotion to its state. The recruitment strategy envisaged the time to climb the seeds of betrayal. The imagination of the seagull itself supplied material for the maturation of this thought. In addition, this period he spent to convince his wife to join him. When Charles finally appealed to the seagull, the diplomat no longer considered the FBI agent as a threat, on the contrary, he saw in it a symbol of hope - hopes for best life in future.

After the seagull has already decided to consent to work on the FBI, he had to wait some time to wait until Charles finally appeal to him. Later he admitted Charles that this period was most painful. Curiosity reached apogee. Why does the American does not take the next step? Indeed, when Charles introduced a seagull in the store, he asked: "Why did you wait so long?"

06.08.2017

The book includes charm on the method of special services in brief presentation. Sammari.

The book includes charm on the method of special services tells about the golden rules of friendship, the formula of friendship, verbal non-verbal signals and how to conquer friends

Jack Schaphers, Marvin Carlice - About the authors

Jack Shafhers - Former Special FBI Agent, Professor of Psychology, Consultant. For more than 15 years, he was engaged in counter-terrorism studies, taught special equipment to techniques of influence and belief. The author of six books and numerous articles.

His company Schafer and Associates teaches lawyers, law enforcement officers and security services.

Marvin Carliners - Professor of the University of South Florida, defended his candidate degree in psychology at Princeton University.

Author of 24 books, including bestsellers What every Body is Saying and It's a Jungle In There, and more than 200 articles in professional, scientific and popular magazines. Advises major international companies.

Turn on charm on the method of special services - book review

The ability to make new acquaintances and maintain a long relationship is available to everyone. For this you need to perform only three conditions:

- You must sincerely want to master the methods that promote successful communication;
- It will be necessary to constantly apply the techniques described in the book in everyday life;
- Remember that under the laying stone water does not flow. Important practice and only practice.

Chapter 1. Formula Friendship

The formula of friendship according to the authors book looks like this:

Friendship \u003d Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity

Nearness means a distance between people, as well as a regular appearance in the field of view of another person. It causes an attraction between people, even if they have not yet spoke to each other. To make proximity, it is important to be in a safe setting. Otherwise, when a person is too imposing his presence, he can only cause a feeling of rejection.
Frequency - This is the number of contacts, and the duration is the time during which each contact occurs.
Intensity - This is a qualitative sign, a means to maximize the needs of another person using verbal or non-verbal behavior.

Knowing and correctly applying all components of friendship formulas, it is possible to analyze and establish almost any relationship (and also gradually reduce the unwanted).

Chapter 2. How to attract attention before the first word will be uttered

Most often, people will first see you and only then hear, so non-verbal signals play a very important role in our lives.

Use three major friendliness signals:

1. During head slope Sleepy arteries, for which oxygen enters the brain, is right or left. The gap of at least one of them almost immediately leads to death. Obviously, in the threat, people pull their heads into the shoulders, but they open the neck when meeting with people, which do not expect anything wrong. Men who in communication slightly tilge their heads, seem to be more attractive. The same says men about women who tend their heads aside when talking.
2. Game Brovia It implies their short-term recovery. This gesture at the meeting says that people do not represent the danger for each other. Having received this signal, we reply in response the same meaning that we have no bad intentions. This gesture is used at a distance: for example, if other people shared you with a stranger, you can send a given signal. If a person answered - it means you are interested in him.
3. Sincere smile It is a powerful friendliness signal, it shows that we are in good spirits and are configured to positive. Smiling people seem surrounding more attractive, confident and open. But the main difficulty is to smile sincerely. .

Chapter 3. On the importance of non-verbal signals

Spectatic contact is a very important component when trying to start acquaintance. With it, you send a signal to another person. It is very important for the first time to look at man no longer a second, otherwise the more close look will be perceived as a signal of hostility. Complete the first glance is worth a smile.

The touch also refers to friendly signals, but they need to use with caution. On the one hand, a slight touch (for example, to the back of the brush or to the shoulder) can have a positive effect, but on the other hand, you can cause a negative human reaction. If, when touched, he wonders his hand, frowning or retreats back, hence, it is not ready for more close relationships and you need to continue to work on their formation.

Another way to establish a relationship is to imitate the interlocutor gestures. For example, if a person threw his leg foot, you can do the same. The interlocutor, most likely, will not notice your intentions, as all people use the same gestures and take the same postures, the brain of another person simply will not fix anything unusual.

If you are constantly encountered with difficulties when trying to tie new acquaintances, think about it, and you do not send (perhaps even unwittingly) the following hostility signals:

- a long gaze,
- an estimated look,
- Running eye,
- squinting eyes
- frowny eyebrows,
- voltage of mimic muscles,
- Aggressive Pose,
- the attack signal,
- offensive gestures,
- wrinkled nose.
If you have noted at least one of the listed signals, you should start working on the correction of the position

Chapter 4. Golden Friendship Rule

If you want to please man, make him like himself. It is suitable for tying both short-term and long-term relationships. His effect is obvious: if, when communicating with you a person will grow in his own eyes, he will want to see you much more often.

The most effective admission is to use sympathetic statements. Such phrases like "seem to have a difficult day today," "You look very pleased," give people to understand what care is being taken about them and they listened carefully. Thus, responding to the words of the interlocutor, you raise his self-esteem.

Also do not forget about compliments. They must be sincere and with the help of them you must emphasize the best sides of another person.
It is still very useful to conduct a dialogue so that the person remembers his merit or achievements and mentally praised himself. In this case, you will definitely be pleasant to your interlocutor, because they did so that he liked himself.

Chapter 5. Laws of Attraction

The laws of attractiveness are tools that increase the efficiency of relationships.

1. The law of similarity (points of contact) . Most likely friendship arises between people with similar interests, a worldview or profession. When you see an unfamiliar person, carefully look at it and try to find similarity in something.

2. Replaceable (secondary) experience, that is, the experience you experienced from the words of another person. This method is effective, because it allows the interlocutor to tell about himself and that he knows and loves, and thanks to this, to rise in his own eyes (remember golden Rule Friendship).

3. Positive side effect. It happens that two people become friends due to the fact that both were in opening time in the right place. When a person feels good, he can associate this state with the surrounding people and perceive the interlocutor more favorably. Especially this effect is manifested in sports, when a person is experiencing a tide of strength as a result of a workout and is therefore more located for communication. So if the person you are interested in goes to the gym, it makes sense to sign up there.

4. Curiosity. A person by nature is very curious, he is interested in a lot. Therefore, if you feel free to get acquainted first, you can interest others with your own kind so that they themselves have taken the first step. If you have some kind of hobby, you can come to a coffee shop and do your favorite business (for example, draw). The likelihood is great that you want to meet you to find out first that you draw, and then - who are you, from where you, etc.

5. Openness. People are pleasantly pleasant to those interlocutors who share personal information with them, openly show their feelings, they are also ready to be frankly in response. But it is always important to stick to the golden middle: when you meet (and in further communication) should not be too frank and report intimate details, but at the same time it is not necessary to talk abstractly.

Chapter 6. Friendship Language

If you want to tie friendly relationships during the conversation, follow the four main rules:

Rule number 1 "Listen" Means that you must fully concentrate on what your interlocutor says. Innegrated in the meaning of the said, do not be distracted by extraneous thoughts and external factors. But at the same time you do not need to look at a person. Suppress the temptation to kill the speaker. Use sympathy statements. Try to feel the emotional attitude of the interlocutor.

Rule number 2 "Watch" It implies that you should feel every item before, during and after the exchange of information. Be sure to analyze non-verbal signals. Remember that the same words can act on different people differently. And if you suddenly noticed a non-verbal negative response to some of your words, you will have a chance to save the situation (clarify from the interlocutor, what exactly didn't like it; explain what you mean; apologize if necessary).

Rule number 3 "Watch for intonation" It says: "It is important not only what you say, but also how." Great importance Here belongs to the voice of the voice, as it can attract either to push the interlocutor. Often the voice of the voice expresses our attitude towards a person more than the words themselves. The tempo of speech is equally important.

Rule number 4 "Symplate" It implies the use of sympathetic statements. Show the person that you understand him that his feelings are important to you.
And a few more tips for successful communication:
- Speak less about yourself, grant the word to the interlocutor;
- Do not complain about your problems - no one likes to communicate with whots;
- Do not affect topics that are unpleasant to the interlocutor;
- Do not waste time on an empty chatter, as they say, "nothing";
- Do not fountain with emotions, they should be in moderation.

Chapter 7. How to make and maintain long-term relationships.

At the heart of friendly long-term relationships lies 4 components:

1. Participation (interest) . A person who actually manifests care, expresses genuine interest to other people, he sympathizes and ready to help. True saying "a friend is known in trouble." Agree, it is easier to maintain good relations when things go well, but it is precisely in crisis situations that the essence of man is manifested. Note that it is not necessary to wait for a critical case to show participation. It is enough to encourage at the right moment, to make a pleasant surprise without reason, help cope with any task ... Even in such, it would seem, the trifles manifests sincere care.

2. In the course active hearing a friendly verbal and non-verbal signals are used, which we have already spoken. We also note that if you have proven yourself to be an active listener from the very beginning, the measure of the development of relationships you will get more advantages. You will learn even better understand the partner, his interests, fears, needs, you will know exactly what it is worth and about what you should not talk to him.

3. Reinforcement means using promotions and punishments towards another person. Unfortunately, the reality is that bright feelings, which are always present at the initial stage of relations, are gradually cooled. But this is not a reason to give away from each other. Praise a partner for good deeds, do not forget about the dates important for him, express your appreciation publicly (for example, with relatives or friends), encourage the partner to adopt of both solutions important for you.

4. Sympathy - The key to successful relationships. Sympathize - it means to understand what is currently experiencing your partner. In this case, you will know exactly how to encourage him how to support how to raise his spirit, how to calm and how to return strength. Sympathy and compassion is never forgotten and therefore valued most.

Jack Schafer, Marvin Karlins

THE LIKE SWITCH:

An Ex-FBI Agent "S Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over

Published with the resolution of Touchstone, A Division Of Simon & Schuster, Inc. and literary agency Andrew Nurnberg

Legal support for publisher provides the law firm "Vegas Lex"

© John Schafer, Ph.D. and marvin karlins, ph.d., 2015

© Translation into Russian, publication in Russian, design. Mann, Ivanov and Ferber LLC, 2015

This book complements this book:

Robert Caldini, Steve Martin and Noa Goldstein

Paul McGee

Susan Vainshenk

Mark Gowleston and John Ullman

Mark Gowstone

My wife helen, gifted by love, strong character and, moreover, patience, which allowed her to demolish my eccentrics during the thirty years of our marriage.

Jack Shafhers

My wife Edith and daughter Amber. Thank you for being there, for what you have achieved, for the love that enriches the lives of many people.

Marvin Carliners

Introduction

How to arrange the location

It would not have occurred to anyone to decipher the FBI abbreviation as a federal bureau of the Raduchia. In this organization, I worked for twenty years by an agent specializing in behavioral analysis, and over the years have developed the ability to quickly evaluate people, understand their characters and develop a strategy of behavior with them. My responsibilities included convincing people to cooperate with the FBI, acting against their native country, or to identify criminals and to decline them to recognize, sometimes without uttering a single word for it. As a specialist in behavioral analysis, I developed a strategy to recruit spies and make friends from sworn enemies. In other words, I have acquired skills and created technical techniques that have turned the enemies of the United States of America in friends and voluntary spies in favor of my country. In short, in front of me stood the challenge to conquer the sympathies of people.

The case with Vladimir (I changed the names and personal characteristics of the people mentioned in the book and sometimes created some kind of character from several to make examples more visual) excellently shows what the essence of the case. Vladimir illegally arrived in the United States for the purpose of espionage. He was caught when trying to take possession of secret documents of the Ministry of Defense. To me, as a special Agent, the FBI was instructed to work with him. In the first interrogation, he stated that he would not talk to me under any circumstances. In order to overcome the resistance of the arrested, I began with the fact that at interrogations just sat in front of him and was accepted to read the newspaper. I read for quite a long time, then folded the newspaper, put on the table and, not a word, leaned out of the Cabinet. Day after day, a week for a week I came to question, read the newspaper, left her on the table and left, and Vladimir was sitting on the contrary, chained with handcuffs to the table.

Over the next month we spoke about anything, except spyware. Then, one day, Vladimir suddenly said: "I am ready to talk about what I did." He began to express his thoughts freely and frankly because he was forced to this by force, but because I liked him and he began to consider me his friend.

The interrogation technique that I applied in working with Vladimir may seem meaningless. But in fact, I carefully planned my actions to get from the arrested desire to admit and cooperate with the FBI. In this book, I will reveal my secret and explain how I won the location of Vladimir, and how, using the same technique, you can cause sympathy from almost any person for a while or for life. I can do it, because, as it turned out, the skills of communication, developed by me in order to gain friendship of potential agents and their recruitment, can be equally efficiently used to establish friendly relations at home, at work and in any other places and communication situations.

I must confess, at the beginning I did not understand that you can use my professional skills in everyday life. Such an opportunity attracted my attention only at the very end of my career in the FBI. At that time, I taught young intelligence officers to recruit agents. One day, before the start of a new semester, I came to work for half an hour before practicing to prepare a classroom. To my surprise, there were already two cadets in the classroom. I did not recognize them. They sat like approximate disciples, in the first row, putting hands on the table. This behavior of the cadets surprised me a lot: they rarely were on classes in such a year. I asked what happened who they were and why they came so early.

- Do you remember Tim from the previous group? - asked one of the cadets.

"Yes," I replied.

- A couple of weeks ago we were with Tim in the bar. He told us about your lectures to influence and build trust relationships.

- So what? .. - I asked, still not understanding where he was clone.

- Tim boasted that in the classes learned how to pick up any girl.

"And they decided to experience him," the first continued. "We chose the first woman that fell, which was sitting in the bar, and offered Tima without a single word to invite her to sit at our table to drink.

- And what did he do? - I asked.

"He took the challenge," the cadet exclaimed. "We decided that he was crazy and takes too much." But after forty-five minutes, the woman really went to our table and asked if she could not sit in our company. We did not believe our eyes, but everything happened this way.

I looked at them testingly.

- Did you find out how he did it?

- Not! - exclaimed one of them, and then they admitted to unison: - We came to learn!

Initially, I felt bewilderment and reminded them of our profession. I said that the purpose of classes is to train cadets to work in intelligence, and not the upbringing of pickup masters. But after a short meditation, I suddenly, to my own surprise, dawned. By reflection about Tim's mind, I realized that the methods for recruiting spies can be used for victory in love games. Moreover, in a broader sense, this technique can be used in all cases when it is required to win the location of the person in almost any interpersonal interaction. This illumination became the initial point of work on this book and determined its content.